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The top students of the Academy had a problem. Arachne had brought it to everyone’s attention, when she had bursted through the door, panicked, shrill voice too fast for anyone to really understand her.
After Livia and Clemensia had calmed her down enough for her to make sense, she had simply said three truly horrifying words.
“Coriolanus likes Sejanus.”
Nobody had believed her at first, laughing it off as paranoia, as no one hated Sejanus Plinth as much as she did. Coriolanus was the only one among them who tolerated Sejanus, and Arachne had probably mistaken it for something other than indifference.
Festus had long considered Coriolanus to be one of his best friends, and he didn’t think that he had the capacity to actually like anyone. Coriolanus had always just seemed annoyed that he was forced to interact with other people in general.
So he’d just ignored her and went on with his day, as did everyone else. Arachne had tried to argue with them, pointing out that Coriolanus was spending lunch with Sejanus instead of them, but that wasn’t too abnormal. Coriolanus just spent time with whoever got to him first, and Sejanus obsessively followed him like a lost puppy.
That lunch period had been spent with Arachne listing off all of her ‘proof’ while they tried to block out the sound of her voice. Really, it did nothing but ruin their break before they had to go back to class.
Festus had ran into Coriolanus on his way to class. He was by himself and seemed bored, as he always did. He let Festus walk alongside him to class, sharing small talk about the weather and homework. Coriolanus was never one for deep conversation.
They were among the first to take their seats, so watched as everyone else filed in. Among them was Sejanus, whose eyes searched the room, until they landed on Coriolanus. It was truly pathetic, the way he smiled, disgustingly sweetly, and offered Coriolanus a small wave. Festus held back a scoff.
Worst, and weirdly, Coriolanus waved back. Festus narrowed his eyes. He knew that Coriolanus would humour Sejanus, out of polite obligation if nothing else, but waving at him, in front of everyone, was maybe taking it a bit far. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Arachne giving Clemensia an ‘I told you so’ look.
He shook his head. There was no way he was going to feed into Arachne’s delusions. There was absolutely no chance that Coriolanus actually liked Sejanus. He wouldn’t believe it.
For the rest of class he kept an eye on Coriolanus, just to soothe his nerves. It didn’t help, Coriolanus didn’t seem very focused on his work. He kept glancing over toward Sejanus, wearing an indiscernible and unusual smile on his face. Festus wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen him smile like that at all, or if he’d ever seen him smile in general.
He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was up with his friend. It was strange enough that he was letting himself be distracted from class, but even stranger that he was distracting himself by staring at Sejanus Plinth of all people.
When class ended, he figured he’d just talk to him, and ask directly if he was feeling ok. Unfortunately, his plans were upended when someone else had decided that he needed to talk to Coriolanus.
“Coryo?” Sejanus couldn’t be more obviously infatuated if he tried, batting his eyes and blushing like a fool.
“Hi.” Coriolanus breathed, that weird smile returning to his face. Sejanus held a pen out toward his hand, which Coriolanus made no move to take from him. It made sense, Festus wouldn’t take anything from Sejanus either.
“Thanks for letting me borrow a pen.” Sejanus said, urging Coriolanus to take the pen from him. Festus frowned. He knew that Coriolanus was a decent guy, but he couldn’t imagine ever letting Sejanus borrow something from him.
Finally, Coriolanus took the pen back, though he took his sweet time doing so, and it seemed like he had purposefully grabbed it in a way that made his fingers brush against Sejanus’.
“Mhm.” He hummed, apparently not speaking.
Coriolanus’ intelligence was something nobody could call into question, or at least that was what Festus thought. But now, watching this weird interaction play out, he could only describe Coriolanus as acting really dumb. It was like he’d forgotten how to act.
Despite the fact that Sejanus had come over to them, Festus had a strange feeling like he was interrupting something. It was incredibly uncomfortable.
“Ok, see you tomorrow.” Sejanus smiled again, that grotesquely saccharine sweet smile, and walked away. Festus let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, he really hated having to interact with Sejanus, even if he was doing anything directly.
“Bye.” Coriolanus called out after him, eyes following him until he was out of sight.
The realisation hit him then, the horrible realisation, that Arachne had been right. There was no other explanation, when Coriolanus’ eyes were wide with something wondrous and he was reserving the rare smile for Sejanus alone.
He hated to acquiesce, but he had no choice but to admit it. Coriolanus liked Sejanus. Or, infinitely worse, it seemed like he was in love with the district boy.
The next day he called everyone for a meeting to discuss his findings. Coriolanus wasn’t with them, spending yet another lunch period with Sejanus. Festus hated to think of it, his proud, composed friend babbling and gazing at Sejanus like a loon.
Arachne had been triumphant, laughing in everyone’s faces as they were forced to admit that they had a situation on their hands. When she finally finished gloating, they put their heads together to put a stop to it.
The thing was, anyone falling for Sejanus would have been problematic. He went against everything they believed in, and constantly fought with everyone around him. They would hate to lose one of their own to his borderline rebellious ramblings.
However, Coriolanus was maybe the worst person they could lose to him. He was the model Capitol citizen, who they all looked to for how to act. They couldn’t exactly keep following his example if he started fawning after someone district-born.
He was also top of their class, and they were all-too aware that he was most likely out of them to become someone very important in the future. Specifically, he was who they all expected to one day become the president. Livia had looked sick when that had been brought up.
“I refuse to live in a world where Sejanus Plinth has a chance to be the first husband of Panem.” She spat. They couldn’t agree more.
So, they came up with a plan to end this silly infatuation before it could really start, and certainly before Sejanus could notice. If he even got the slightest hint that Coriolanus was interested in him, he’d doubtlessly get his claws into him, and they’d lose him forever.
The first step? Help Coriolanus to see Sejanus for the district scum that he was. It couldn’t be too hard, point out all of low-class affectations, insult his heritage, and make Coriolanus see reason.
Clemensia managed to catch him before Sejanus could for lunch, though she later said that he’d seemed reluctant to go with her, and had been looking around for something, or likely someone, the whole time they were walking.
“Oh my god,” Arachne started once they were all sat down together.
“I can’t believe I had to sit next to Sejanus last period. I swear that boy needs a lesson in decorum.” She made a show of rolling her eyes, though everyone’s eyes were trained on Coriolanus, looking for a reaction. Much to their chagrin, he did nothing more than frown and look at the ground.
“What did he do now? It’s always a new, weird thing with him.” Felix asked. He was a terrible actor, it was a wonder that Coriolanus didn’t notice he was reading from a script.
Arachne was no better, scrunching up her nose in an obviously fake way and speaking way louder than she needed to.
“He was writing, his handwriting is atrocious by the way, but it wasn’t normal. It was like a bunch of jumbled letters with weird lines,” she faked a shiver.
“Do you think he made up his own language, so he feels better that no one wants to talk to him?” Livia snickered. They all joined in with the laughter, expecting Coriolanus to at least add in a chuckle to fit in with the group.
Instead, he got that stupid faraway look in his eye, the one he’d had when he was talking to Sejanus the day before.
“It’s spanish.” He said simply, returning to his food without offering any other explanation.
The group shared a concerned glance.
“What-ish?” Arachne sneered.
“Sounds gross.” Felix added, desperate to get a word in.
Coriolanus sighed exasperatedly, as if he hadn’t just said something completely strange,
“Spanish. It’s the unofficial language of District 2.”
Horrified was too weak a word to describe the faces of all his friends when he said that. Had Sejanus been filling his head with district propaganda? He knew what the language was from Arachne’s poor description, had Sejanus been teaching him about it? None of them could imagine him sitting there and letting Sejanus ramble on in a language he could understand, nevermind total district gibberish.
Coriolanus either didn’t notice their reaction, or just didn’t care, as his attention turned back to his plate.
“You should hear him speak it. It’s a lovely language.”
Arachne didn’t conceal the gag she made when he said that.
“Lovely? They speak it in the districts! It’s disgusting.” She spat, scowling at the boy who was paying her no mind.
“I guess he’s so in love with his precious district that he can’t even stop talking like them.” Livia mused, venom laced in her voice.
“What do you think he’s writing about? Rebel plans? It’s barbaric.” It seemed like Felix was trying to sound frightened, but it was as if he’d seen a particularly large spider, instead of questioning if their classmate was up to something horrible.
“District-loving scum.” Festus muttered, and watched as a frown crossed over Coriolanus’ features.
“He’s lucky enough to be in the Capitol, he should stop trying to get back to the districts, it’s insane.” Clemensia was by far the best actor among them, nonchalantly eating while she spoke.
Coriolanus’ jaw clenched,
“I’m not surprised he wants to go home, when all we do is mock him behind his back.” He said, glaring. Clemensia choked on the food she’d just put in her mouth, as everyone else just looked taken aback.
“He deserves it, he’s district.” Festus reasoned, though it didn’t seem to get through to his friend. He just hummed noncommittally, and went silent for the rest of lunch.
So that was a bust then, it seemed that Sejanus had already managed to mess with his head enough that Coriolanus didn’t want to join in when they insulted him.
Oh well, they would just have to move on to the next phase of their plan: showing Coriolanus that there were infinitely better options than Sejanus Plinth.
Livia and Clemensia had both agreed to flirt with Coriolanus, if anything just to show him that he would be completely out of his mind if he decided to pursue Sejanus. Livia had actually volunteered herself, apparently she’d been really bothered by the idea of Sejanus managing to weasel his way into high society through Coriolanus.
They were placing their bets more on Clemensia, who Coriolanus seemed to at least somewhat like, though they weren’t sure how he would react when she really turned up the charm. If he was a normal guy, he’d fall for it, hook, line and sinker.
First up was Livia. Festus wasn’t entirely convinced that she was capable of seeming desirable, but decided that giving her a chance was better than not.
The rest of the group watched from a distance as she approached Coriolanus, who didn’t seem at all pleased to see her.
“He hates Livia, why did we think this would work?” Felix muttered, though Arachne shut him up with a swift whack to the arm.
“Give her a chance, she’s not even said anything yet.”
They couldn’t hear what she was saying from where they were stood, but they could clearly see that Coriolanus couldn’t possibly be less interested. He looked incredibly bored, and a little annoyed that he was being disturbed in the first place.
All they were able to make out was the obnoxious sound of Livia’s fake laughter after Coriolanus had said something back to her. Festus doubted what he said was funny in the slightest, but apparently Livia had learned to flirt from watching possums interact.
“Still think it’s going to work?” Felix mocked Arachne, who just made a face and shoved him with her shoulder. Festus sighed and tried to work out what Coriolanus was thinking. He’d never seen someone look like they wanted a conversation to end so much.
At one point, while Coriolanus was looking everywhere other than at Livia, his eyes landed on something up the hallway and softened. That stupid, goofy smile returned to his face, and Festus didn’t even need to look to know what he’d seen.
As expected, when they turned to see what he was staring at, Sejanus Plinth was walking down. To them he looked entirely uninteresting, but apparently to Coriolanus he was a walking block of solid gold.
Livia also noticed Coriolanus’ shift in attention, and shot the group an exasperated look. She quickly muttered a goodbye to Coriolanus, who didn’t seem to care or notice, too preoccupied watching Sejanus walk down the corridor.
“Moron.” Livia grumbled as Arachne pulled her into a hug. Nobody else was as supportive, instead turning their attention toward Clemensia, and encouraging her to at least try to do better than Livia had.
They waited until lunch for Clemensia to try her hand. She’d been tasked with collecting Coriolanus after class, and taking her sweet time bringing him to the group. If all went well, he’d forget that Sejanus even existed in a matter of minutes.
Waiting for them to get there felt a lot longer than the eight minutes it actually was. They sat there muttering amongst themselves, sharing doubts that it would actually work. It was so hard to figure out what affected Coriolanus, and what didn’t.
Nobody had ever seen Coriolanus not composed, so the shock of seeing him dawn over Sejanus of all people cut them all deep. It felt like betrayal, though they all knew it really didn’t involve them as much as they acted like it did.
Finally, they heard voices coming nearer, and their friends turned the corner. Coriolanus seemed a lot more comfortable with Clemensia than he had when Livia tried it with him, but he was also being careful to not let her get too close. Clemensia held onto his arm, in a way that may have looked intimate if it wasn’t for how cagey Coriolanus’ body language was.
“Hey you two, where have you been?” Felix’s acting chops were on display again, though thankfully Coriolanus didn’t give him much of a reaction.
“I was just stealing him for a few minutes, right Coryo?” Clemensia put on the sweetest smile she could muster, but Coriolanus visibly tensed up when she used the nickname. It had always been reserved for his close family, and apparently Sejanus now too.
“Clemmie insisted we walk the long way.” Coriolanus gritted his teeth a little. Any hope that the group had faltered. Somehow, it seemed like even Clemensia had failed to capture his affections from Sejanus.
Clemensia shrugged and took a seat beside Festus. She gave an obvious shake of her head towards the group, who silently groaned. Coriolanus wasn’t paying them any mind, as usual.
If Clemensia failed, they’d exhausted the few ideas they’d had. All eyes turned toward Festus, Coriolanus’ best friend, the third and final resort. If they couldn’t trick Coriolanus into getting over this silly crush, he’d just have to actually talk him out of it instead.
“Coriolanus, can I talk to you?” He stood up, gesturing for his friend to follow him. He didn’t trust Arachne or Livia to stay silent while he gave the lecture he was about to give. Coriolanus looked suspicious, but got up to follow him nonetheless.
Festus led him to an empty classroom and sat him down in the vacated teacher’s chair.
“What’s going on?” Coriolanus asked, eyes narrowed. Festus let out a long exhale and turned on his friend.
“You’ve got to stop with this whole Sejanus thing. It’s a horrible, horrible idea, you’ve got to snap out of it.” He said it all in one breath, as Coriolanus just stared at him. Surprisingly, he didn’t look like he’d just been caught, but rather looked confused.
“What Sejanus thing?” He asked. Apparently he thought Festus was stupid.
“We all know you have a thing for Sejanus. I can’t even fathom why, but you’ve got to get over it right now.” He emphasised his words, jabbing a finger in Coriolanus’ face. He still wouldn’t admit it, eyebrows just furrowing.
“I don’t have a thing for Sejanus.” He said. So he definitely thought Festus was an idiot. He scoffed at him, pacing back and forth while Coriolanus just stared at him, looking more confused than he’d expected him to.
“Stop it, you’re a terrible liar.” He started counting his points on his fingers as he listed off all the evidence he’d accrued with little investigation,
“You’re constantly staring at him, you ditch us to have lunch with him, you forget how to speak around him, you’ve started defending him, you said the district language he speaks is lovely.” He made a show of having put up all the fingers on one hand.
“I don’t,” Coriolanus trailed off, unsure of what to say for maybe the first time ever. Festus continued.
“I don’t know what he’s said to you to make you think he’s somebody worth liking, but you need to remember where he was born. He’s district. You’re who people think of if somebody says to think of someone from the Capitol.”
Coriolanus nodded, though it didn’t seem like he was actually listening. He just stared at the floor.
“You’re right.” He said. It was probably the first time Coriolanus had ever said those two words to somebody.
“I am. I’m glad you recognise that. Now, we need to help you,”
Coriolanus cut him off,
“I do like Sejanus. I really like him.” He said it like it was news to him, maybe it was. Coriolanus had always seemed so observant, how could he possibly have not realised that he’d fallen for someone? Did he just notice everything about everyone but himself?
“You can’t.” Coriolanus finally looked up at him, maybe actually taking in what he was saying.
“You know I’m your friend, and I support you, but I can’t let you do this to yourself. Liking Sejanus will ruin your life.”
He’d never seen Coriolanus like this, unsure and overwhelmed. Maybe he’d realised that his feelings had gotten away from him for the first time, and hated that he’d let his guard down for the district boy. Festus sure hoped that was the case.
“It’ll be fine.” Coriolanus muttered, and Festus wasn’t sure if he agreed with him or not.
“It’s not like anything could even come of it. I can get over a little unrequited crush.” He let out a soft chuckle. Festus scoffed.
“Unrequited? Sejanus has been obsessed with you forever. God forbid he finds out about all this.” Resting his hands on his hips, he shuddered at the thought. If Coriolanus had stayed oblivious, who knows what would have happened?
His friend’s eyes shot open and he quickly stood from his chair.
“Sejanus likes me?” He asked, with an enthusiasm that Festus couldn’t figure out the origin of.
“He trails after you like a pathetic lap-dog. He jumps around any chance to get your attention.”
The reaction he was hoping for was disgust, maybe a little alarm at how close he’d gotten to disaster. The reaction he got was a rare smile, which looked almost excited.
Coriolanus practically ran out of the room, ignoring Festus’ calls after him with a determination he’d never seen, and frightened him beyond believe. He pursued him, struggling to keep up with his friend’s pace. It was difficult to follow him closely, as Coriolanus frantically turned corners and got lost in a sea of other students.
After following him for far too long, Coriolanus finally stopped running away. Festus was about to catch up to him again, and question him on why the hell he’d decided to leave in the middle of their conversation, until he realised why Coriolanus had stopped. He was stood in front of Sejanus, who was clearly startled at seeing Coriolanus so hectic.
He watched from the end of the hallway, not entirely sure what to do. Maybe Coriolanus had decided to confront him for whatever he did to trick him into liking him in the first place. Sejanus looked confused enough for that to be the case. Festus let out a sigh of relief, and mentally patted himself on the back for successfully getting through.
That relief quickly vanished, as he watched Sejanus’ expression shift into a wide smile. He nodded enthusiastically at whatever Coriolanus had said, and gave him that same lovesick look he’d reserved for Coriolanus since he’d first come to the Capitol ten years ago.
They walked away together, standing much too close for Festus’ tastes, and he was left wondering what had gone wrong. He’d just lectured Coriolanus on why liking Sejanus was a terrible idea, and his friend’s immediate reaction was to run straight to him.
It was bizarre that Coriolanus somehow hadn’t known that he liked Sejanus, and even more bizarre that he didn’t know that Sejanus liked him. Everyone in the Capitol knew of Sejanus’ monster crush on the blonde, surely people had mentioned it around him before. Their group made fun of Sejanus all the time, they’d definitely mocked his hopeless crush in front of Coriolanus before.
It was then that Festus realised he’d made a horrible mistake. He’d told Coriolanus that he liked someone, then told him that that person liked him back. Of course Coriolanus had gone straight to Sejanus. Festus had just told him, in no uncertain terms, that he had a chance with Sejanus.
He didn’t return to the group, mostly out of embarrassment. Clemensia had tried to ask him how it went, but he brushed her off, more distracted by the goo-goo eyes Coriolanus and Sejanus were sharing for the entirety of class for the rest of the day.
The group certainly let their irritation with him known the next week, as they watched their good friend kiss Sejanus Plinth from across the courtyard.
“Well aren’t you just the best little matchmaker.” Arachne spat, glaring daggers at Festus.
“How was I meant to know that he didn’t know he liked Sejanus, or that Sejanus liked him back?” He argued, though he was met with a series of scoffs.
Livia barged past him, face twisted into an ugly scowl.
“Idiot.” She stalked away, followed closely by a similar pissed-off Arachne.
“She’s right. Idiot.” Clemensia muttered, pulling Felix with her to join Livia and Arachne. Alone, Festus could only watch Coriolanus and Sejanus in their quiet romantic corner.
He felt sick, watching his friend laugh with the district boy, arm wrapped around his body, keeping him pressed flush to his side. He suppressed a gag when they kissed again, ignorant to anyone else around them. It was like they were in their own little world.
It was by far the most unreserved and pitiful he’d ever seen Coriolanus. But at the same
time, he’d never seen him look so genuinely happy.