Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Wait, senpai—you’re actually punctual for once?! What happened!? Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed today or something?!”

“…”

“Well anyhow, I’m glad you’ve finally outgrown being late to patrol! I've always known you do care—you never skipped patrol after I started bugging you, after all!"

"Hmph. I do not know what you are talking about."

"Maybe something good will happen today—let’s get lunch together afterward as a celebration. My treat!”

Something good did not, in fact, happen. The two of them ended up at the laundromat during lunch, cleaning out the rain and blood they got from the battle with one of Innocent Zero’s brats.

“Senpai! Senpai! Are you in there?!”

Alex banged on the door of the southern station to which his senior at the magic police academy was assigned. It’s ten in the morning—no way Orter's still asleep.

He only graduated recently and somehow already got under some higher-up’s skin—all he did was bring up the fact that his alma mater Saint Ars probably had a spy from Innocent Zero and the Bureau's undersecretary ousted him!! That rat bastard just wants to cover his nephew's ass and save their own prestige.

just as he was about to get relocated to the northern borders for a 'sabbatical', a transfer request came in for his presence at the southern station of the capital's outskirts. It was Orter-senpai’s. 

All of this just screams ‘nepotism’, which Alex really, really dislike—it was what got him in this situation in the first place—but he can’t complain. Either this or starve until next week. Besides, he’s thrilled for a chance to work with the Desert Cane—who strangely desired to pursue a mundane life as an officer instead of using his right to work for the Bureau of Magic after graduating from Easton—again.

That's how Alex Elliot found himself standing in front of the tiny station right after his graduation from the academy.

The familiar sand opened the door for him. Orter was inside the office, waiting at his desk. He hadn’t changed much from the last time Alex saw the other at graduation a year ago. However…

“Senpai!! Why is there only one desk here? And why are you the only one working—well, not working—don’t read during official work hours!”

“Alex. As nosy as always, I see.” Orter pushed up his glasses. “Since I am the only one at this station, it is natural for there to be only one desk. You can order a desk that suits your preferences later. No need to make a fuss.”

“Hold up. Why are you the only one here?! Regulation states that patrol needs to be done in pairs!” Alex looked around. There was literally nothing inside the station except for a bookshelf, a pile of letters on the floor, Orter’s desk, a sofa, and two chairs. Where are the case files? Phones? Hard drives? Secretaries? Commanders? “Is there a strike going on that I don’t know about?!”

“Hmph. A strike.” Orter flipped to another page, eyes never leaving his book. “I suppose it wasn’t a bad way to put it. They were pestering me to do needless work as a rookie so I doubled down and ignored them. When that did not work, I bought the station and fired them all.”

“You did WHAT?!!”

“Don’t yell. Ten million Lond for some peace and quiet is a cheap price.” Orter smiled lightly, “Now that you’re here, you can handle any paperwork and all the other annoying aspects that come with this job. I’ll go on patrol with you, but don’t expect anything more than that. Looking forward to working with you, Officer Elliot.”

“O-Officer Elliot—well, that really sounds like I’m a proper officer now; I’ve always wanted this day to—wait wait, no, that’s not the point here!” Alex slapped himself out of his short daydream. “Did you seriously spend ten million to acquire this station?! Do you even know how much food I can buy with that amount of money?? How did you even get the cash!?”

“Don’t worry, I’m nowhere near draining the one billion Lond I got when I became a Visionary.” Orter rummaged around his desk before dropping a dusty uniform on his table and a blank check. “Go find a seamstress to make this to your size. We don’t have any extra uniforms, and if you need a radio, baton, or anything else go poach them from the main station near Marchette street.”

'This place doesn't even have the most basic of supplies?!' Alex couldn’t believe his ears—they were respected officers, not common thugs taking bicycles from high schoolers. “I can’t believe it…how did you even run this place without anyone else? The emergency requests alone should’ve kept you busy!”

“There are other stations in the area. Only requests for monsters that are too tough for them get routed to me. I get called in about three times a month.” There was that smile again, Alex wanted to grab his senior’s collar and shake him around to see if there’s any rattling between his ears. “It only takes two minutes to whack them around before my job is done. It’s a glorious life. I knew becoming an officer wasn’t the wrong choice.”

‘That’s literally not what the job is about!!’ Alex felt like facepalming. Is this what disappointed mothers felt like when their child picked an artistic career over becoming a doctor? But there was something else that piqued his interest, too. “Wait, there are other stations in the area? But I don’t remember seeing any reports about it during the academy.”

“I had them constructed the other day and rerouted my previous employees to it. If they want to be a pain in the ass about the job then they can do it far from my sight.”

“How far are you willing to go for your ‘moderate’ life?? Everything you did is so outlandish that the word ‘moderate’ is already camping in another galaxy!”

Orter went back to reading, “I’m not interested in what other people think how my life should be. Go get your uniform and desk already.”

Alex grabbed the dusty uniform. A crumpled-up burger wrapping fell out. The previous owner clearly didn’t even have enough time to get changed before he was fired.

…...was it too late to take the transfer to the northern border?

Orter didn’t lie when he said he wouldn’t do anything outside of patrol.

Alex borrowed a foldable picnic table and some lawn chairs from city hall and set up his temporary desk. He began cleaning—Orter didn’t even bother to mop the floor weekly!—and organized the mountain of documents shoved away in the kitchenette cupboard in the next room. 

No one came into the station, not even people who needed help or directions. If anything, people seemed to be giving their area a wide berth. He tried bringing it up with Orter, but all he got was a satisfied smirk. Alex was afraid to ask what his senior did to get this reaction from the community.

“Alex, I’m back. Do you want some beer?”

“SENPAI!! How many times do I have to tell you not to drink inside the station?! There’s a bar literally down the street—actually, don’t drink during work hours!! It’s only two in the afternoon.”

“They are not open yet so I can’t go.”

“Well yeah, it’s two in the afternoon! Who would drink at a time like this?!”

“I also bought chicken skewers and vegetables. Would you like to fire up the grill for a yakitori party?”

"...do you seriously think that'll work? I'm not your partner in crime."

"I bought three whole chicken's worth of meat."

“……….just this once.”

Chapter Text

True to Orter’s words, there was literally nothing to be done in that station.

After Alex cleaned the whole place from top to bottom and sorted through the paperwork that Orter had let pile up, he spent days patrolling the place and waiting for something to do. Yet nothing ever turned up.

“That’s the way it should be.” Orter nodded in satisfaction after he brought up the topic. “Since we’re done with patrol, do you want to order some BroomDash? They should be delivered by the time we get back to the station.”

“Why can’t we drop by the shop on our way back?” Alex was baffled. “What’s the point of ordering delivery when we can just go and pick it up?”

“I’m in the mood for crunchy bread today but the best place in town is on the other side. It’s too much of a pain to go all the way there just for some bread.”

“Senpai! You’re too lazy!” Alex chided the other for what felt like the millionth time even though he only transferred to this station last week. “I’ll pick it up for us. I’ve been a little restless lately since we don’t get to do anything—I’m the kind who eats better if I move around a lot anyway.”

They are the opposite when it comes to that. Orter doesn’t eat a lot since he doesn’t have much of an appetite and tries not to do anything to waste calories unnecessarily. Alex eats a lot, and he feels sluggish if he can’t work off the calories he consumes. 

Orter had already moved to leave, “Alright.” 

“Wait, wait senpai—!! At least tell me what you want to order! Actually, the name and location of the shop, too!”

“You’ve been there before. It’s on the first turn of Marchette Street. Get me four days’ worth of bread and a pack of bottled water while you are at it.”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to eat bread for four whole days?? A healthy diet needs variety!”

Orter kept walking, “That’s what the daily special at the bar is for. Deciding what to eat every time is such a pain. Keeping it simple is best. If you are worried about variety then get me some ketchup.”

“Bar foods are just unnecessarily greasy to slow your blood alcohol consumption!” Alex tried to keep up and convince Orter that he was plain wrong, “And why ketchup?? Who in their right mind would put ketchup on plain bread?!”

“You were concerned about variety; tomatoes are fruits. Ketchup is easier to eat than getting tomato fluids all over my hands.”

“Wait, tomatoes are fruits—??”

Orter left the chat in a puff of sand.

Alex begrudgingly got what senpai ordered and then bought three foot-longs for himself. He also stopped by the closest supermarket to get some greens and proteins; now that Alex’s here, he won’t let senpai continue that atrocious diet anymore.

There was background music inside the station when Alex came in—the kitchen timer(?) was ringing persistently. Orter was boiling some water in the little kitchenette at the back. 

“Here, I made us coffee.”

“Thanks, senpai!” Alex set the food on the counter and turned off the soft tune. “Why is the rice cooker on, senpai? We’re having bread for lunch.”

Orter handed him the coffee. “That’s probably the emergency alarm. The last one was too loud so I cut off the wire and connected it to the rice cooker.”

Someone frantically showed up to deliver the emergency briefing just before Alex could drag him by the collar to the main station. Apparently, the alarm was for just for show since Orter is hardly ever in the station whenever it rings. 

It was reported that a lackmagic was living secretly with his gramps in the middle of the woods. Orter, as the representative from the Bureau of Magic and one of its esteemed Divine Visionaries, was to go to the suspects' residence.

There wasn’t a door when they arrived so Orter invited himself in.

“I just want the cash and prestige that comes with the Divine Visionary title—that’s why I’ll back you up.”

Orter paused. Alex stopped in the doorway.

The lackmagic kid stared at them. The only officer alive amongst the cor—uhh his passed out colleagues turned around in horror. It was Brad Coleman.

Alex basically got the gist of what’s going on, “You—! Are you trying to cover up the existence of a lackmagic for your own gain?!”

“L-Lord Desert Cane—!! No—! I swear I can explain—!” Brad Coleman stammered in fear. He didn’t remember calling for back up, much less the weirdo Visionary from that graveyard of a station. “I-I meant that I want to turn this kid in to get a Divine Visionary’s favor and back the old man up in exchange for letting me capture him—”

“No, you didn’t. You said you’d help me enroll in magic school and get selected as a Define Stationery.”

“Shut up, you dumbass!!”

“Eh…” The lackmagic kid looks dejected at the insult.

“Hmm…” Orter pushed his glasses up, “I get it now. There’s a lackmagic here so our job is to eliminate him. Sand Burial.”

With a wave of his wand, the sand swirling around the lackmagic kid began to close in. The bloody old man on the side yelled, “Mash!! Run away! There’s no way you can beat a Divine Visionary!”

“This is surprisingly uncomfortable. Sand baths are supposed to be relaxing.” With that ridiculous comment, the kid began to huff and puff and let out a deadpanned grunt. The sand surrounding him blew away, scattering all over the floor. “Oh no. It will be annoying to get the sand out of the floorboard later. I still have to fix the door.”

Orter slowly blinked before putting his wand away. “I see. We’re going home, then.”

“Senpai?!?” Alex swiftly pulled the other’s coat sleeve, stopping him dead in his tracks while Regro almost danced in the background. “What are you doing?! That was only ten percent of your power—more importantly, did you actually tried to juice him in front of his old man??”

“Exactly, that was ten percent of my power. Even a normal double liner cannot withstand ten percent of my power, much less a lackmagic kid. There’s something different about this one and that’s for the Bureau to deal with, not me.”

“Aren’t you a Divine Visionary??”

“A Divine Visionary without direct affiliation to the Bureau of Magic, to be exact. It’s better to call in Ryoh’s reinforcements and have them deal with him.”

“Um, excuse me.” The lackmagic kid raised his hand. “Can you not? I don’t really get it but that sounds like a pain for us.Here, have a cream puff and let it go?”

Orter nodded but made no move to take the cream puff dished out from the lackmagic’s pocket, “Alright. Less work for me.”

“Senpai!!”

“What? He’s been living undiscovered until his teenage years. Suppose he can keep it up until he dies then all the better.As long as I’m not the one cleaning up his mess then I really don’t care.”

Alex clenched his fists, “You’ve always been like this—! I already let your everyday conducts slide but no way I’ll overlook a lackmagic violate the rules right in front of my eyes! I’m taking this matter into my own hands. Mushroom Head, you’re coming back with us!!”

“No thanks.”

Orter sighed. Alex had always been too pigheaded for his own good. 

Alex kept trying to tie the lackmagic up with his ropes and the kid broke it every time. He pulled a chair up from the mess of furnitures on the floor and turned to the trembling officer. “Looks like it’s going to take a while so patch up the old man.”

As Brad scrambled up to follow the Desert Cane’s order, the injured old man pleaded with him. “Take my life if you want to; please just spare my son! He’s done nothing wrong! Being born without magic isn’t his fault!!”

Orter ignored him and continued reading. Brad quickly restrained the old man and whisper-yelled, “Don’t disturb Lord Divine Visionary with your whining—if we don’t play this well then all of our heads will go flying!”

He ignored the hush whispers from behind and angry grunts from the one-sided fight in front of him. Orter made it to about 23 pages before Alex collapsed in exhaustion, breathing heavily, “Dammit…how the hell are you so strong?!”

“Cuz I eat cream puffs every day. Want one?”

“…” Alex heard the past lunch time rumbling of his stomach and stared at the pastry contemplatively. “…you know what, sure.”

“Yay.”

He briefly wondered if it was poisoned or not before taking a bite. “…it’s lukewarm.”

“Yes, I’ve been moving around a lot.”

“Don’t think this is over—I’m gonna have to call in Ryoh-san.”

“Who’s that?”

“How could you not know who he is?! The next number one magic user in the entire magic realm—The Light Cane Divine Visionary Ryoh Grantz!!”

“The Light what now?”

“The Light Cane! The title of the cane of god is bestowed upon one of the most exceptional students in that year! You know, a Divine Visionary!”

“Oh, the Devine Stationer thing.”

“No, a Define Visionary—I mean— Divine Visionary!!”

“What’s that?”

“I keep telling you— ACK!!” Alex choked on his words and coughed harshly. Mash handed him a handkerchief. 

“You alright?”

“…” Alex stared at the lackmagic kid trying to offer a hand. “…you know what? Suddenly I don’t even care anymore.”

“Welcome back.” Orter flipped over to another page. “Do whatever you want—just don’t let it be discovered that I let you off.”

“M’kay.”

Brad breathed a sigh of relief and wiped his sweat with his own handkerchief.

Ever since Domina attacked them both, Orter has been keeping an eye out for Innocent Zero’s activities through Ryoh’s reports/drinking parties. They caught the spy within Saint Ars thanks to Alex’s impromptu tip about a potential student traitor and found the criminal organization was looking for something. 

He thought about asking Wirth to keep an eye on Easton but it would be too dangerous and troublesome—might as well use this lackmagic kid to do the dirty work. He’s probably strong enough to barely make it out alive if he actually runs into Innocent Zero's goons.

“Go to Easton Magic Academy. The headmaster is getting on in years so he’s quite lenient and won’t kick you out immediately even if you are discovered.” Orter pushed his glasses up. “If you hear anything about Innocent Zero report it to me. That is my condition for turning a blind eye.”

“M’kay.”

“Wait, senpai —UGMH??!”

The lackmagic kid shoved a cream puff into Alex’s mouth before he finished protesting.

“I’m planning on opening my own cream puff store in the future and make lots of cream puffs. I’ll give you freebies whenever you come by.”

Alex pulled the confection out of his mouth incredulously, “…what, you think this will buy me?”

“I’m planning on opening my own cream puff store in the future and make lots of cream puffs. I’ll give you freebies whenever you come by.”

“I heard you the first time!”

“I’m planning on opening my own—”

“Don’t say it again!! Man…what’s with this joke of a situation? I don’t like killing kids either but letting a lackmagic roam free…” He agonized over the choices while Regro began pouring tea for everyone. Alex aggressively contemplated over and over before begrudgingly nodding and biting into the cream puff, “Fine, but I was never here to begin with, got it?”

“Got it.”

They left the premise after tea time. Alex and Orter would later found out that the lackmagic boy Mash Burnedead was the thing Innocent Zero had been looking for all along.

“…let’s hope the media never caught wind of this.”

Orter opened his fourth bottle and chugged half of it in agreement.

Chapter Text

“…I just finished rereading my favorite series and suddenly it’s the end of the world. How annoying.”

Orter turned off the TV in irritation and looked at the other two standing in the middle of his police station. Even though he made painstaking efforts to craft an unsavory reputation for this place, sometimes visitors came regardless of the nasty rumors he helped propagate. “And what’s with you two? Aren’t you too old to still be getting lost?”

“Uhh…no, we’re not looking for directions?” The redhead meekly asked. “We were directed here by Headmaster Wahlberg. We’re looking for our mentor, Orter Madl. Do you know where he might be?”

Orter blinked. What? 

This reeks of trouble. He can’t even shove them to Alex since Ryoh poached the blond a few days ago to bolster up the security forces in the aftermath of Innocent Zero wrecking the Divine Visionary Final Exam. 

He stared at the hopeful gaze of Red and the bored look on Blue’s face. 

No. Just no.

Orter promptly made his decision. 

“Orter Madl isn’t here.” Orter lied as naturally as he breathe. “If you want to find him, go to the Bureau of Magic and ask for the Desert Cane.”

The staff there should know to avoid telling two random kids his whereabouts and deal with them appropriately. Perfect.

“Ehh? He’s a Divine Visionary?!” Red exaggeratedly shouted. He kind of reminded him of Alex. “M-My bad, we got the wrong—”

“Hold it, Broom Head.” Blue finally spoke up. “Doesn’t this guy remind you of someone?”

Red held a flat palm over his eyebrows and squinted closer, “Now that I think about it, he kind of does…but who?”

“I guess you wouldn’t know. This guy looks like a carbon copy of the Second Fang Wirth Madl—” You have got to be kidding me. “—of the Magia Lupus. In other words, he’s who we’re looking for. Orter Madl.” Blue looked down condescendingly, “What a flimsy lie. Are you even trying?”

“Hmph.” Orter pushed his glasses up and glanced at the pile of mail on the floor. Since Alex left a few days ago, there has been no one to sort the letters for him. Well, truth or not, he might as well have some fun with these two brats. 

Orter promptly dropped Red and Blue into the sand pit below and closed the hole. He picked up the sequel to the series and went back to reading.

The agonized screams of two teenagers running away from multiple sandstorms couldn’t be heard over the pleased hums of Orter Madl.

Orter went to check on the half-dead teenagers at around midnight. “You two still alive?”

Twin glares would’ve burnt him had he been a lesser man. “I looked over your files from Wahlberg-san. I’m surprised he actually referred such weaklings of your calibers to me. What a waste of time.”

“YOU—!!” Red marched forward before Orter tripped him with his sand. “Oof!!”

Blue haughtily scoffed, “If I am a weakling, what does that say about your criminal of a younger brother who lost to me before?”

Orter ignored him and pushed his glasses up, “Whatever the case may be, it’s still a request from Wahlberg-san. You two will spend the next week here with three 200mL water bottles for sustenance. As they are incredibly fragile, your only option is to use magic and keep them floating constantly. And, of course, you two—”

He immediately broke two of Blue’s bottles.

“—will be defending them from me.”

Red burst into laughter before getting knocked back into a sand pillar.

“Holy—! Senpai, what did you do to the students?!”

“I trained them as per Wahlberg-san’s request.”

Both of them looked about two steps away from God's doors. Alex quickly set the stack of pizza boxes and salad bowl down on the table. He heard the Easton students would finish their training today and specifically brought food over as a celebration, only to be greeted with this appalling sight.

Alex examined the two Visionary candidates. “What kind of spartan training is this?!”

Dot Barrett ignored him and leaped for the pizza boxes like a feral animal, “FOOD!!!!!”

Alex gulped as Dot gnawed away at the pizza, box and all. "SAUSAGE!! PEPPERONI!! BACON!! CHEESE!! CARDBOARD!! TOMATOOOO!!!"

Lance Crown stood in place and looked down at his partner in disgust, but he was obviously staring longingly at the feast on the table. Alex quickly beckoned him over and the blue-haired teen didn’t bother wasting time on pleasantries. He promptly dug in with uncharacteristic gusto.

“…did you even feed them?” Alex stared in slight horror.

“I did. I even gave them my special crunchy bread.” Orter had a self-satisfied look on his face while flipping to another page of his book; he’s currently on the third sequel series. “And some water.”

A new voice laughed, teeth clattering together in authentic amusement, “You seriously only fed them bread and water? What are they, dogs?”

Orter blinked up in surprise and put away his book. “Wirth. You should’ve told me you were coming.”

Wirth Madl set the bottles of soda he was carrying on the table and Dot immediately started draining the whole thing down without caring about the burns to the back of his throat. Lance kicked him in the head for hogging and they broke into another fight while eating at the same time. Alex tried to stop them but he was promptly ignored.

“I was getting grubs for the Magia Lupus’ old maid marathon tonight when I ran into Alex-san. That’s when I remembered today’s the end of the shitty first years’ training and came along. And look what I found.” Wirth dug his pointer finger harshly against Lance’s cheek and the other slapped it away before punching Dot across the jaw with one of the empty soda bottles. “I really should’ve brought a camera(lol).”

“It’s been a while.” Orter nodded. “How about we go out for dinner tonight? I heard it’s the end of the world tomorrow.”

“Did you not hear what I just said? The Magia Lupus’ having an old maid marathon throughout the night.” Wirth sighed. “I’ll take these two back to Easton whenever they’re done.”

He gestured to Dot slapping Lance over the head with the pizza before eating it.

“That’s a shame.” Orter pushed his glasses up. “How about tomorrow at lunch? We can go whenever you wake up.”

“Sure, I don’t mind. The usual place?”

“That’s fine with me.” He nodded. “The clone spell really came in use during their training. Thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Pisses me off when it doesn’t take you long to master it.” Wirth scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. “Glad it helped.”

“It really does. From now on I don’t even have to go to work anymore.” Orter smiled lightly. “I can just send in a clone to man the station and let Alex handle everything else.”

“SENPAI!! There’s gotta be a limit to your sloth! Why are you even here if you don’t want to do your job?!” Alex rebuked after restraining the two first years with his magic ropes.

Orter hmphed, “This job have everything I could want for my moderate life, of course. And I’m good at apprehending criminals.”

“That’s not—”

Lance watched the two argue and turned to his senior, “Wirth, is that eccentric deviant really your older brother?”

“Use honorifics, you damn brat.” Wirth tried to knock him over but the blue-haired teen dodged, “And yeah. He’s my older brother. Kind of a weirdo, but he’s good at teaching, isn’t he?”

“…he is.” Lance begrudgingly acknowledged. “…fundamental problems aside.”

Wirth laughed at the constipated look on the cheeky junior’s face. “I know, right?”

“If you are done eating, then leave. Thanks to you guys, I haven’t been able to go to the bar as often, so I’m going to catch up on my drinks.”

The first years were about to protest before Alex jumped in, “Senpai, we’ve been summoned to Headquarters in two hours. This is no time to go drinking.”

Orter clicked his tongue in annoyance.

Alex tried to reassure him with a smile, “They probably just want to go over the security details for the eclipse in two days. There’ll be plenty of time to go drinking afterward! My treat!”

"..."

"The summon is from Ryoh-san, you know?"

"...I know."

There was not, in fact, plenty of time to go drinking afterward. Ryoh, Alex, and the two nuisances dragged him into the quest to save the world. Dammit.