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The heavy scent of iron weighed in the air as Ochako clutched her abdomen. Blood stained the dirt scarlet – a shade so vibrant that her dizzied haze Ochako could finally see why Himiko was so obsessed with the color.
Blinking through her eyelashes as the world spun around her, Ochako saw a blurry outline of a face. As blonde hair darkened, for a split second Himiko’s face was still all her own. Gold eyes that dripped like honey. A sunshine smile so bright that Ochako found herself jealous of it.
Tears streaming in her eyes, Himiko drew blood into Ochako’s veins. If she hadn’t been choking on her own breath Ochako might have made a joke about Himiko copying her and stealing her idea to the other person's blood. But as drowsiness washed over her, Ochako decided that maybe she could make that joke the next time that she and Himiko saw each other.
Even drifting in and out of consciousness, Ochako could see Himiko for who she truly was. A girl who wanted and deserved to be loved.
Snapping out of the dream of her last moment with Himiko, Ochako sat upright in her bed in a cold sweat. She breathed heavily as she focused on how the soft mattress was a world away from the battlefield. Her hair reached to the small of her back now, cascading down her shoulders – no longer the bob that Himiko had fallen in love with.
Izuku snored beside Ochako on his side of the bed. Rhythmic calming breaths. Ochako tried to imitate his steady breathing and tried to focus on other details in their bedroom. Anything to stop thinking about how the scar on her stomach was pulsing more than it had in years.
Her head twisted toward a magazine cover scattered on the floor. Frowning, Ochako stared at the photograph printed on it of her and Izuku posing in their hero suits. Mentions of “power couple” were written on the cover in bold print. But the praise felt hollow. Because she knew Izuku was the only reason she’d gotten publicity.
Nothing more than his wife.
No, she was more than just that. She was a hero. But was she really a hero if she had failed to save the person that was most important to her?
She had wanted to give Himiko blood for the rest of her life.
But now she couldn’t.
Inhale. Exhale. After taking a deep breath, Ochako reached for her phone and scrolled through her emails. Several messages for her charity to support kids facing quirk discrimination flashed on the screen. A faded smile flashed across her face over the chance to reach out to them. She just wished she could have saved Himiko as well.
Ochako set her phone aside and dragged her hands across her face. No blush shone on her cheeks. It had died with Himiko. And in a way, Ochako thought that it was maybe a little poetic that her blush had faded. Because Himiko had been perpetually – and her flushed cheeks had disappeared with her too.
Shaking her head, Ochako bit on her lip to draw blood. Himiko had just been a brief blip in her life. Between the summer camp and the battlefield, Ochako had never actually known Himiko for all that long. So the way Ochako’s ribs ached at the thought of Himiko shouldn’t have mattered.
It’s fine. It’s cool.
Or it should have been on paper at least. After all, the war had ended years ago – long enough for its details to be printed in recently updated copies of history books. So it should have been long enough for Ochako to move on, right? Long enough for her to stop thinking about how her arms had been entangled with Himiko’s.
Sighing, Ochako slapped herself internally. Why did she have to be so naive while she was bleeding out? Why had she been so hopeful that she’d be able to fulfill her promise to Himiko?
Guess I’m the fool.
A fool for thinking that her and Himiko could both rise from the battlefield. For thinking that their love story could avoid being buried beneath a tombstone. But any chance of the caterpillars in Ochako’s stomach becoming butterflies was dead on arrival.
I hate to say I told you so.
Covering her mouth with her bedsheets, Ochako stifled a scream. She knew the truth. That a hero and a villain just weren’t meant to be. She’d read enough sapphic stories to know how many of them ended in tragedy.
If only she’d listened to the voice of reason whispering in the back of her mind.
Ochako glanced toward Izuku and stared at the gold ring on his finger that matched her own. Swallowing hard, Ochako wiped a tear off her cheek and forced a smile as she looked at the wedding photo on her nightstand.
She wrapped her fingers around his hand, tracing over his scars. Shutting her eyes, she pictured herself holding hands with Himiko as they fell from the sky together. But the callouses on Izuku’s weren’t the same – they didn’t have calluses from clutching on knife handles.
But it was safer being with Izuku. After all, he was kind. He was brave. He was a hero. And more importantly, he was a guy. The type of person she was supposed to fall in love with. Not a girl who ensnared Ochako’s heart with each slash of her knives.
So maybe one day Ochako would finally be able to get over how emerald just couldn’t quite compare to gold.
Sitting taller, Ochako ran her fingers through Izuku’s curls. She marveled at the scar on its scalp and the resilience it represented. Yet she still found herself yearning for the way Himiko’s blonde hair had unraveled from her carefully curated messy buns.
She pushed the memory aside and tried to conjure a satisfied smile at the sight of her husband sleeping peacefully. But her face still remained frozen in place. Her smile was just as plastered as the one she showed for the cameras. Because no matter what lies Ochako told herself she knew the truth deep down. What reason was there to smile if she’d never be able to see Himiko’s smile again?
Looking at the window, Ochako spotted stars flickering across the sky. Or maybe they were actually satellites given the light pollution in Musutafu. Whatever the case, Ochako wondered whether Himiko might be somewhere up there. Was she finally reunited with Twice and the rest of her friends? No longer trapped in the sorrow of chasing after a Sad Man’s Parade.
Good luck, babe.
Wishing the best for Himiko in the afterlife, Ochako stared at the stains littering her bedroom ceiling. She had to hope that wherever Himiko had ended up beyond the grave that she was happy. Because Ochako was pretty sure that she wouldn’t be able to feel the warmth of the sun rays of happiness again.
What was the point of living in a world where the cutest girl in it wasn’t there?
Saving civilians trapped beneath rubble. Helping her parents’ business stay afloat. Spending time with her friends. And even though Ochako’s heart didn’t race around Izuku didn’t mean she didn’t care about him. She wanted to be there every step of the way as he chased
But even with all those promises of fulfillment in life, Ochako knew that there would also be a black hole left behind where Himiko was supposed to be.