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Kai has never had a good relationship with food. He grew up trying his best to feed Nya and never focused on himself. He never had the chance too...
And now the ninja were tight on money, which meant that food was limited, in fact almost everything was limited, or at least things that cost money were.
...
Kai lay in his stupidly large shared bed clutching his stomach, the hunger pangs were getting unbearable. He needed to eat......'but what if one of the others get hungry and there's nothing left??' He thought as he made another face. He then decided it's best not to take anything. Afterall...maybe one of the others will get hungry, can't allow them to starve.
'Gotta get my mind off of these stupid hunger pangs...' Kai thought, deciding to instead get up and go train. Maybe If he moves around more they'll stop.
...
Kai walked out into the deck of the bounty, seeing Cole and Zane sparring. He watched for a minute or so, watching as his boyfriends attacked each other.
"They're quite a sight aren't they?"
Kai looked over to see Jay standing beside him.
"Mmhm." He responded, looking back once again.
Jay glanced at Kai, then leaned down to gently kiss the top his head. He ruffled the spiked hair a bit.
"You wanna spare too?" He then asked.
Kai looked to Jay with a annoyed look on his face before he shrugged. "Sure, might as well."
With that Jay went and grabbed their equipment, handing a set to Kai.
"Double swords or just one?" Jay asked as he dug through the little closet of weaponry.
Kai didn't reply. He just started off into the endless abyss of the sky in his own little world.
"Kai?" He looked back at the brunette.
"Hm?" Kai blinked and looked at the ginger.
By now Cole and Zane has stopped sparring, taking a break for water and rest.
"...You know what? No. I'm so done with this." Jay said sternly, slamming shut the closet doors only to open it again to put the sets of light armour away, slamming it shut one last time.
"What are you talking about?" Kai asked, concern and curiosity in his voice.
"What's up with you lately? You zone out way more, you stumble when you stand up, you barely fucking eat I mean come on Kai! What's wrong? What's been going on?"
"Jay wha-"
"Stop. Both of you stop before this turns into something worse than what it should be." A voice spoke from the other side of the deck. That voice belonging to Zane.
They walked to the other two, Cole following closely behind them.
"Jay, I am aware that we are all worried about Kai's recent behavior howev-"
"There's nothing wrong with how I've been acting." Kai's voice was dark and stern.
All 3 of them looked at Kai like he'd just told the most obvious lie in the world.(He did.)
"Incorrect. Everything about your recent behavior has been unhealthy! It's been 3 days, Kai! Three days! You've survived off of water and sleep. You even turned down Zane's food!!" Jay spouted. He looked almost angry.
"Jay's right Kai. You've been off." Cole spoke this time, putting down the water bottle in his hands.
Then it was quiet. All that was heard was the sound of breathing and wind as the bounty flew through the sky.
"You can talk to us you know." Zane said, his words gentle.
"There is nothing to talk about." Kai balled his fists.
"Yes there i-"
"NO. THERE ISN'T!" Kai shouted, causing the other 3 to back a step or tense up.
He breathed heavily, It looked as if there was smoke coming from his nose when he huffed.
"There is nothing for me to talk about. Not now. And not ever." With that Kai turned around and stormed off into their bedroom.
"..."
"...I'm worried about him." Jay said, his voice seeming to crack a little. Zane placed his arms around the other two.
"I know. I am too. ..we can't force him to talk though. It won't help...we have to let him talk when he's ready."
......
It went on for 2 more days. Kai intentionally ignored the others, slept on the couch, and continued to not eat. He hated it. He really did. He didn't want to ignore them, but he didn't want to talk about the issue...despite knowing he was hurting himself, he was more scared to allow his boyfriends to be hungry. He couldn't really care about himself, as long as those he cares about were okay......no matter the cost.
......
Jay, Cole, and Zane sat together in the kitchen, sipping on whatever drink they had put together.
"We need to do something." Cole broke the silence.
"I agree. We can't keep letting him go on like this." Jay said.
"I know, but we can't just...force him." Zane said. They rested their face in their hand as they stared at the engravings in the counter.
"But we also can't just let him continue to starve himself. Even worse we don't even know why he's doing it." Jay said.
"Then we talk to him. No yelling or shouting. Nothing argumentative. We just...talk." Cole said, sitting up rather than slouching in his chair.
"..yeah. ok. We'll see where it takes us." Zane responded.
The others nodded on agreement.
......
The next morning
Kai walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water, the others were sat at the table, watching as he moved.
He looked over to the 3 as they watched. He raise his eyebrow, then decided to question them.
"Whaaat are you 3 up too?" He asked.
"Nothin'. Just watching." Cole responded.
"Riight. But why?"
And they stayed quiet. Zane stood up.
"Kai. We need to talk." The ice ninja said.
Kai tensed up a bit. "...about what?"
"About you." Jay said, resting his head on his hand.
"What about me? I have nothing to talk about."
Zane sighed, rubbing their temple.
They walked over to Kai and took his hands in their own.
"You need to eat, Babe."
"But-"
"There are no buts. It's necessary for everyone in this room to eat. Even me. It's been 5 days... that isn't healthy."
Kai looked to the ground, a guilty expression spreading across his face.
Jay and Cole stood and walked over as well.
"We want to help you. You clearly need help but...we can't help you unless you tell us what's going on."
Kai let out a heavy breath.
"Okay. I'll talk."
......
They all sat back down at the table, the silence just continued to grow. Kai didn't know where to start, his anxiety in the situation seemed to just keep rising. He was uncomfortable. He wanted out but...he also knew he needed help.
"Okay...uhm. What...what exactly is it you wanna know?" Kai said sheepishly, he knew what they wanted he just needed somewhere to start.
"How about we start with your eating issue..?" Zane said, placing their hand uptop Kai's.
"Okay...sure, er, ...okay about that. You guys...you know how money's been you know tight and everything meaning limited food and what not a-and uh." He cleared his throat, blinking away the water that threatened to spill.
"Crap- s-sorry but uhm...you know. I wanted there to be enough for you guys because if there isn't enough for you guys then you'll be hungry and-" Kai spoke faster as he got himself all worked up, he hadn't meant too. His breathing became more uneven the longer he spoke.
"Woah, Kai...breathe. It's okay..." Zane rubbed Kai's hand in their own, trying to calm him down.
Cole rested his hand on Kai's bouncing leg, rubbing it gently with his thumb.
"Kai..." Jay started. "You don't need to starve for us. Starvation isn't going to be an option. Not anymore." He spoke gently yet stern at the same time.
Kai stayed quiet for a moment. They needed to know. "...I've never had a good relationship with food. F-first with Nya when we were just...kids. We were kids. I tried..." Kai hugged himself, trying to keep his composure. His eyes wide as he remembered the old memories. "I almost-...And now this."
Everyone was quiet. No words to be said for what seemed like an eternity. Kai put his head down on the table, arms still wrapped awkwardly around himself. He knew it. He shouldn't have. Why are they so quiet? He didn't like that. Someone say something. Say something. Say something, please.
"I'm sorry...Its- it's practically instinct at this point and-" he couldn't anymore. He didn't want to bear it. He hated this. Every bit of it. Tears streamed down his face. He didn't let them see that though. He wasn't weak.
Pull yourself together Kai! For fucks sake get it together! His thoughts raced, his breathing uneven and choked up.
"Kai!" He shot up quick as he heard his name called. Looking around to take his surroundings in. Jay to his right. Cole beside him, holding one of his hands. Zane to his left, just looking with a concerned look on his face, seeming to be unable to do anything in the moment.
"It's going to be okay..." He notices the voice coming from Jay. The blue ninja having a hand up as he counted numbers with his fingers. He took a moment for Kai to realize the other was trying to get him to breathe slower...less rapid. He finally registered his own uneven breathing patterns.
He looks back to Jay, who had restarted the counter once again, and this time finally copies him he could roughly hear the others sigh in a moment of relief that Kai was responding again.
...
Everything stopped around him. It was quiet. Everything was so quiet. The silence itself was almost deafening.
But...
He felt warm. Like he was wrapped in a fluffy blanket. It was only now that he realizes he's been pulled to the floor. His boyfriends having wrapped him in a hug.
He smiled.
Tears rolled down his face, yet he smiled.
Hunger pangs were becoming unbearable, yet he smiled.
His mind was empty, yet he smiled.
He still felt horrible deep down, yet he smiled.
Everything seemed to go wrong in some way for him, yet he smiled.
Despite everything.
He smiled.
He smiled because he was warm.
He smiled because he felt something.
He smiled because he felt loved.
He smiled because he had someone.
He had people. People who would comfort him. Who would help him. Who made him feel like he got the best gift in the world.
And he did.
Because he had them.
He had his brother
Sister
Sensei
And his lovers
And he wasn't going to let allow himself to keep tearing away from them.
Not anymore.
.........
"I'm sorry...I'm gonna fix this." because if I don't I'll lose you.
"...We'll be here with you every step of the way." Zane said, giving Kai's hand a squeeze.
"...thank you." Please don't leave me.
The others just responded with giving a bit of a tighter squeeze.
...
"I'm done pushing myself away...I'm sorry that I did...I don't wanna be left alone...please dont leave me..." Kai says, still slightly shaking within their arms.
"We're not going anywhere Kai. I pinky swear." Cole gently says, hooking his pinky with one of Kai's.
"We'll help you in any way we can." Jay spoke this time.
At that Kai smiled.
Despite his issues, despite his tear stained face, he smiled.
Because now he knew...everything would be okay.