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Today had not been a great day, to say the least.
Riley had woken in the morning after a nightmare involving losing all the people she cared for the most, including Bree and Grace. Joy had been on Dream Duty during said nightmare, obviously disturbed by the negativity and Riley’s distress she had felt as if it had been her own. This has led the optimistic emotion to try and plan out a more uplifting day for Riley, which had unfortunately failed miserably. Riley kept encountering obstacle after obstacle all day long. Missing her bus to high school, arriving late to class, forgetting to finish an important homework assignment, and worst of all… Bree and Grace had not messaged her all day.
Joy had guided Riley to message her close friends about her troubling dreams in hopes their comfort and reassurances could help settle her doubts. However, after the day had come to an end and no texts were returned… it was safe to say Riley was feeling more down than ever.
Joy had not minded letting Sadness, Anxiety, and Fear take over for most the day. Yet, she knew how rough things were when she found herself sitting mostly off to the side for the duration of a shift. Heck, even Anger had more opportunities to take control today than her.
But, she convinced herself she should not be jealous or upset. Every emotion was good for Riley, even on the days when it seemed as if she was not.
As Riley’s eyes closed signaling the end to their very long day, Joy was the only one sitting upon the couch farthest from the console alone. She was sitting with her legs crossed, eyes blankly gazing ahead at nothing in particular. Her usual glow was nothing but a dim shimmer, as darkened as her own spirits were inside her.
The other emotions scoured the memories, Anxiety in the lead as she made notes of the day’s events and calculated what could be expected for tomorrow. Once the memories had been inspected, the button was activated to then send them off to Long Term. This signaled the end of their shift, another day complete.
Joy watched the floor as the orbs traveled towards the tube that would send them off to the mazes of the mind, though her own mind was plagued with other thoughts. She was so lost within herself that she almost did not realize Anxiety had approached her with clipboard in hand.
“If my predictions are correct,” The orange emotion was speaking half to herself and half to Joy as she passed by the couch. “Tomorrow has a eighty-five percent chance of Riley fretting over the same worries she did today and plus some given the instances with school today. Luckily, it was Friday and we have a weekend to recover. Did you have any thoughts, Joy?”
Joy’s blank gaze rose only slightly to meet Anxiety’s, unsure if she was putting any sort of effort to mask her own grief within her saddened irises.
“No, just… keep up the good work, Anxiety. You kept us going today despite what we faced. Maybe the weekend will treat us better!” Her final statement held little hope, but she forced herself to sound somewhat optimistic as to not draw suspicion.
“Thank you, Joy.” Anxiety paused, tapping her clipboard before continuing. “You coming up to sleep then?”
“In a bit. I just need to be alone for a second to… think.” Joy admitted, then turned away from her questioning stare.
“Okay.” Anxiety seemed concerned, but didn’t press. “Have a goodnight, Joy.”
“Yeah! Goodnight, Joy!” Envy waved.
The others followed suit, departing up to their bunks until Joy was left alone.
Well, almost alone.
“You okay?”
Joy did not have to gaze up from where she sat this time. Instead, the source of the voice stood below her. His red pupils were calm and full of quiet understanding.
It was hard to hide anything from his knowing eyes; it seemed like the fiery emotion understood how she was truly feeling inside more than any of them half the time. Perhaps it’s because he was a pro at seeing past other’s bluffs and nonsense. He was naturally straightforward, and did not fall for false modesty and optimism. Joy was versed in both these methods, but knew Anger would never fall for them as the others often did.
All he ever desired was blunt honesty, and only with him did she feel comfortable enough letting him see that side of her now. After all, the long day of mishaps had left her with barely any energy to hold up her usual strong appearance. She was exhausted mentally, and tired of pretending the day had not been a complete disaster.
“No…” She finally replied, eyes lowering.
Silence. Then soft clicks of Anger’s dress shoes filled the space as he approached the couch.
“Do you need to talk about it?” He asked her, his voice lacking its gruffness it often displayed.
“I don’t know.” She admitted, ashamed she did not have a clear answer to give. How could she be so uncertain? She was supposed to be the one who had a solution for everything. “I just feel a little lost, I guess.”
The cushions shifted next to her, and when she turned her head Anger was now sitting beside her glancing down at his shoes almost timidly.
“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, or uh… can’t.” He spoke, smoothing the fabric of his pants. “You just looked like you needed company. Sorry if I’m not exactly the one you may have needed it from.”
Joy’s brows furrowed with sympathy and admiration. She was saddened Anger possibly believed she valued his presence less than the others, but touched he seemed to be attempting to be very mindful of her needs in the moment.
It was far from the truth, how she felt about him. Joy adored the spunky emotion. His resolve, his thoughtfulness, and his passionate determination were incredibly appealing to her. He was more than one-sided, and was an emotion she considered a close friend she could rely on.
Sometimes, she felt even more than that for him. The two had shared an unspoken but loving bond between one another for some time now. Neither had put a label to it, but they did touch, hold, and intimately interact with each other more than the average emotion usually did.
And yet, they kept their professionalism and respect a top priority. Even now, Anger was still letting his duty as her coworker and friend overtake his desire to most likely be there for her in the ways both probably truly wanted.
Tonight seemed to be an opportunity for those feelings of deeper reverence to come into play, especially since Joy had no other idea what else may mend the ache in her heart.
With a sigh, she leaned over until her head was in Anger’s lap. The rest of her body lay upon the couch, feeling as if the weight of Riley’s worries were weighing her being down like a mountain of memory orbs. Anger did not flinch or tense at her sudden close contact, but sat still as she settled against him comfortably.
“I think you’re exactly who I need right now…” She told him, her voice quiet and monotone. “I’m glad you’re here.”
Beneath his clothing she could feel his natural heat emanating from his body. The heightened body temperature soothed her, and she found herself pressing further against his abdomen. She hid her face as if shielding within his heat would protect herself from the events that had transpired in Riley’s life that day. Perhaps if she remained sheltered in his comfortable warmth she could escape from the responsibilities and hopelessness. But that was childish to crave…
“No one ever told me it would ever get this hard…” She whispered, her voice muffled by the fabric of his dress shirt.
A large hand came to settle atop her head and ran itself through her blue locks. The other draped over her back, rubbing soft circles at the base of her neck. She tried desperately to let those motions soothe her, wishing she could just forget her qualms and lose herself in him instead.
She desperately wanted to lean up and capture him in her own soft touches, but tonight was not one of those nights. Instead, she wrapped an arm around his body and remained where she lay. His hands proceeded their pettings as words continued to leave her mouth without any rhyme or reason.
“Riley’s never been this… unhappy for so long. Not since me and Sadness had been accidentally separated from Headquarters. I know you guys deserve as much time at the console as me, but…” She felt her hand ball up a portion of his shirt, fighting to not let tears fall from her eyes. She hated when she cried. “Grasping that Riley is going to need me less and less as she grows is so hard, Anger.”
“I know…” Anger acknowledged what she was saying quietly, his voice low.
“I don’t know how to fix this…” She admitted, pressing her face against him. “I don’t know what to do to make her happy right now. It’s so unfair… for Riley. She deserves better.”
“C’mon, now…” Anger coaxed, his hand that had been stroking her back leaving to slide under her cheek. He pulled gently to lean her face upwards, cradling her head in his large palms as he gazed down at her with compassion. “Don’t you think you’re putting too much of this on your own shoulders?”
“But aren’t I the one most responsible for Riley?” Joy countered, eyes lowering to break their contact. “I was the first emotion to appear, the one she relied on most in life. Of course she needs you all just as equally a lot of times but…” Shame prickled her conscious as she bit back her next words until they finally spilled. “I thought I was special.”
She sighed and let her forehead fall back into his stomach, embarrassed by her honesty. “Is it selfish to say that?”
“Maybe a little.” Anger shrugged, resuming the strokes through her hair once more. “But selfishness is just a natural trait of being human.”
“But we aren’t human, we’re emotions…” Joy pointed out.
“We’re part of Riley. She wouldn’t be truly human if it wasn’t for us. For any of us.” Anger argued, “That’s pretty special in itself, don’t you think?”
“I guess…” Joy pondered his reasonings only briefly. “But being human isn’t enough to solve all these problems; to find reasons for Riley to be happy again. What am I supposed to do? I felt useless sitting over here almost all day. Even Ennui was needed at the console more than me today, so I didn’t even have company.”
“I… could have come sat with you for a bit.” Anger mumbled, almost sounding embarrassed to make the offer.
Joy felt the semblance of a smile wanting to form across her lips, but it quickly faded. “It’s okay, you had work to do. I know you’re taking care of Riley just as much as I would be trying to. I just wish I could have a chance…”
Joy reached out to grab at some imaginary goal in front of her, but closed her fist around nothing. “But she doesn’t need me right now. There’s… there’s no room for joy in her life right now.”
That statement was enough to make her finally break, stuffing her face back into his body as tears spilled over her tightly shut eyelids. She refused to sob aloud, but her breaths came in shakes that shook her shoulders. She partially wished she were alone so that Anger did not have to deal with her in such a state. Sometimes she feared seeing her this way would potentially turn him away from her somehow. Her relationship with the fiery emotion meant a great deal to her, and the prospect of losing what they had because of being unappealing plagued her doubts more often than she liked to admit.
However, as usual Anger never seemed to follow those dubious expectations. Instead of being put off by her cries, he wrapped his arms around her head to hug her tenderly. He spoke no words, knowing nothing he could say would comfort her as much as simply holding her close could. Joy was thankful he understood her well enough at this point to know that was exactly what she needed. It made her all the more grateful, and a little less sad.
Her brief crying session quickly subsided, catching her breath as she remained close to Anger. She had been holding in all those tears longer than she had realized. She did feel slightly guilty for it being Anger to had to endure the brunt of them all. And as her eyes peeked open still blurry from the crying, she made out the stains in his dress shirt left from her watering eyes.
“Sorry about your shirt…” She apologized quietly.
“It’s just a shirt. Not like it’ll stain.” Anger brushed it off, voice tender and low enough for her to feel the vibrations of his vocal chords hum across his skin. “You know, Joy. I think we’ll be okay.”
“Really?” Joy was a tad bit surprised at the hopeful statement. “What makes you so sure?”
“Well…” Anger searched for an explanation that would make sense to them both, “This hasn’t happened before. Granted, that probably makes it feel worse than it is since we don’t know exactly what to expect. But, it may just be a fluke. A bad day. We have those every once in a while.”
“But what about Bree and Grace? What if they don’t care about Riley anymore. She’s good friends with the Firehawks team now, but… not like she was with Bree and Grace. What they had was special, they’ve been through so much. Do you think that the distance from them has finally driven them away? Why else would they not have replied to our messages about our bad dream…” Joy rambled, the bulk of her concerns now out in the open. She had been bummed out from Riley’s awful day at school, but it was the uncertainty of her closest friends that bothered her the most.
“Anger, what if they aren’t Riley’s best friends anymore?” Joy asked, knowing she sounded just as worrisome as Fear or Anxiety.
“Maybe they aren’t.”
Joy practically gasped, head shooting up to stare at him with bewilderment. “How could you say that-” Before she could finish a hand was placed over her mouth.
“Joy, I’m just saying maybe. I’m as unsure of anything as you are, remember?” He lowered his hand, placing it on her cheek as he cupped her face. It seemed he wanted her full attention for whatever he had to say next.
“I think we’ve learned by now how unpredictable Riley’s life can be. And no matter how scary or how much that pisses you off-” His face began to burn with tints of yellow as his fury rose to the surface. Then, like a calming storm it passed and he relaxed once more. “-you can’t let that make you give up.”
Joy had not realized Anger was just as perturbed about the situation himself, shocked by how close he had just come to losing his temper. However, he had calmed down in the blink of an eye. Joy was both impressed and proud by how far he had come lately in controlling his own anger, and utilizing it for his job rather than letting it boil out of control in any situation. He had grown so much, and it was one of the reasons she admired him so.
“Cause you know, Joy?” Anger continued, his brow rising as he tried to seem serious but sympathetic. “We could lose Bree and Grace, there’s always that possibility. But, that does not mean our life will be ruined forever. We’ve had many friends come and go, like Meg.”
Joy felt her body almost freeze with the realization she had not thought of Meg, Riley’s old BFF from Minnesota, for a few years now. A pit of guilt opened up in her gut. How could she forget Riley’s old best friend? Why had they not messaged her in so long? Was Meg okay? Did she think they hated her and abandoned her?
“I can tell from the look on your face you may be thinking a lot of bad things regarding her, huh?” Anger prompted, able to read her inner turmoil like a book upon her face. “But, that does prove my point. Riley used to be so close to Meg. And now, they don’t talk anymore. But she was okay, because she met Bree and Grace. She made new friends. And Joy, if Riley does fall out with Bree and Grace… she can do it all over again. We already have the Firehawks in our circle, no matter what happens Riley will be okay. Riley will be happy again someday.”
Joy felt a series of mixed emotions coursing through her head, conflicted towards how exactly she should feel about Anger’s words. On one hand he was right, Riley has been able to find new friends even when others had been lost. On the other, Riley would still be devastated for quite some time if she suddenly lost such close friends. They were important to her, as apparent by the size of Friendship Island right outside Headquarters' windows.
“But… that’s still really sad.” Joy finally replied, raising a hand to wipe her dampened eyes.
“It is.” Anger agreed, tracing a thumb under one of her eyelids to help aid in drying her face. “But we know by now that life is just sad sometimes. What’s important is that we remain ready to do our job, no matter if that’s manning the console or letting the others take control for a while.”
The smaller emotion sighed, letting go of a deep breath that moved his whole body.
“Trust me, I’m as concerned for Riley as you are. And… for you too. Don’t think I didn’t notice you sulking by yourself all day. But, we’ll get through this. Riley will be able to smile again soon, I’m sure.”
Joy still felt emotionally exhausted, but was definitely more comforted by now. Anger seemed to always know exactly what to say to lift her spirits, which still surprised her given he was the angriest of all the emotions. But, she did not question it much anymore. She was just grateful to have an emotion such as him to rely on, and lean on in difficult times such as this.
“Thank you, Anger…” She leaned against his palm, breathing in a calming breath before eyeballing him playfully. “Were you really staring at me all day, you big softie you?”
“Ugh. And she’s back, folks.” Anger rolled his eyes, “Yes, I was… concerned about you. I know these types of situations can be hard on you and really get you down in the dumps. Is it so wrong for me to just keep a lookout?”
“No,” Joy giggled, then leaned forward to hug him tight. “I’m happy you care so much.”
“Mhm…” Anger grumbled in response, arms curling around her as his face pressed into her own.
“You’re right…” Joy whispered, brushing her cheek into his own. “No matter what Riley faces, she will be okay… I have to believe that for her sake.”
“And your own.” Anger pointed out, “You’re important too, Joy.”
Joy’s smile widened, cuddling into him closer. “Thank you…”
She continued to nuzzle his face, her attention honed into the hands upon her back. They traced the curve of her back, brushing over her shoulders then down again. The motions were incredibly soothing, as was the feeling of his heated body. He was always so warm and inviting, the exact sort of comfort she desired in that moment.
Her own hands traced the back of his head, fingers gliding over his fuzzy skin in all sorts of shapes. He was hot to the touch no matter where her digits settled. Her face was especially warm now, still pressed against his own as she moved to glide her lips against his own. He pressed a soft kiss against them, pulling her face in deeper with a palm rising to cup her cheek. He parted, then pulled one of her hands into his own large palms
“Let’s get you to bed now, okay? I’ll take over Dream Duty instead tonight so you can get some well deserved rest.” Anger insisted, not giving her a chance to argue.
“Okay…” Joy nodded, grateful for the offer.
The pair slid from the couch, hand in hand as they began to head towards the ramp to their bunks.
Suddenly, a buzzing sound rang from the darkened screen. Then, it lit up as Riley was suddenly awake. Joy and Anger whipped around, eyes wide as their girl suddenly awoke from slumber. Riley’s point of view stared down at the source of the noise : her phone. It was a call from the message group Riley was a part of with Bree and Grace. Riley hit the answer button and the icons of Bree and Grace appeared on her phone screen.
“Riley! Oh my god, I’m so sorry for not replying to your texts this morning.” Grace immediately apologized, her voice full of genuine regret. “My sister got in a car accident this morning and I was in the hospital all day with my family. She’s okay though! Just a bit bruised and they think she has a small concussion.”
“Oh geez, Grace.” Bree sounded just as shocked. “I was wondering why you didn’t come to school today. Probably for the best, though. You missed that awful test we stayed up studying for all night. I was waiting for you to show up all morning, I had to study all on my own. That’s why I missed your texts too, Riley. I was so caught up with that stupid test I had forgotten to reply to you this morning.”
Joy felt her chest lighten, and it seemed the glow of her skin brightened in turn. She let her hand slip from Anger’s as she unconsciously headed towards the console. Bree and Grace hadn’t forgotten about Riley! They didn’t drift apart! They had just been busy! Of course! Relief surged through her body like adrenaline, making her smile spread across her lips. She pressed a single button on the console, and a pale yellow spread across the machinery.
“Holy crap, Grace.” Riley began to reply, “I’m so sorry that happened. I’m so glad she’s okay. And it’s okay, Bree! Tests are important, I had one just the other day that stressed me out of my mind. I understand.”
“Okay, phew.” Bree let out an audible breath. “I was worried you might be upset. I’m sorry you had such a bad dream.”
“Yeah,” Grace added, “It sounded really awful. Just know that would never happen, Riley. We’re still all friends, no matter what.”
“Yeah!” Bree exclaimed, “Your subconscious is just being a jerk.”
Joy snorted, having to hold back laughter of amusement. She turned back to gaze at Anger, who had his arms crossed and seemed incredibly amused himself.
“Oh, Bree doesn’t even know the half of it.” Joy stated, “Those guys over at Dream Productions can be so cruel for no reason.”
“Mind Workers are just jerks in general.” Anger concurred, shoulders rising and falling as he chuckled.
Joy scrunched her nose at him, then turned back towards the screen. She moved a few more levers as she did so, her smile never wavering as she coaxed Riley to reply.
“Well, I’m glad you both aren’t upset with me about something I didn’t know. I’m glad we’re still such close friends.” Riley told them, a smile rising on her own face now.
“Duh! Course we are!” Grace exclaimed, “Don’t let some dumb dream convince you otherwise.”
“We may be busier with life than usual these days, but we’ll always find time for each other. Promise.” Bree spoke, her voice full of kindness.
“Yeah…” Riley nodded, and as she did so Joy pressed a certain order of buttons that filled Riley with an inner hope she had been desperately wanting to provide her with since waking up that morning. “I promise too.”
“And me!” Grace added, then yawned loudly. “Ok, girls. I’m worn out after today's scare. I’m going to bed. You both sleep well.”
“Goodnight, Grace!” Bree called, “Tell your sister I hope she feels better soon. Oh, and you get good sleep too Riley. I hope your dreams don’t bother you again, otherwise I’ll crawl inside your mind and beat up your brain for being so mean to you.”
“Ha!” Anger chortled, “Now that’s a fight I’d love to see!”
“You and me both.” Joy laughed alongside him, amused and elated by Bree’s comforting words. She pulled a lever to have Riley respond with humor.
“Okay!” Riley laughed quietly, mindful that it was late in the night. “Goodnight guys. I love you.”
“Love you too, Riley.” Grace and Bree spoke at the same time, then after a few more goodbyes the call ended.
Joy heard Riley let out a long sigh, and after a few moments her eyes shut once again. She stared at the black screen in awe, watching as a few yellow orbs rolled into creation along the rack to her right. They stood out upon the empty shelf, and replayed Riley’s relief and feelings of strong friendship in learning Bree and Grace cared for her still so deeply.
Joy reached to take the two orbs in hand, gazing down at them as if they were the most precious things in the world. All her worries, her doubts, her fears for Riley’s future melted away as she held the proof that everything was indeed okay. She hugged them close, pressing her face into them as if she were trying to absorb their positivity.
“See? I told you Riley would be fine.” Anger’s voice spoke up beside her. “She has a great pair of friends.”
“Yes, she does.” Joy agreed, gazing down at Anger with a soft expression. “Thank you for talking to me. We may have missed that call if you hadn’t stayed with me on the couch.”
“It’s the least I can do. Despite how I am, I still care.” He shrugged, reaching for her hand. “I think these deserve a place in the Belief System, don’t you?”
Joy smiled, agreeing full heartedly without having to say it aloud. Anger led them to the floor where the elevator appeared, riding with her all the way down to the Belief System till it opened into the massive space. Their hands remained conjoined as they approached the water’s edge, only letting go so that Joy could rest on her knees and let the memories float across the surface. Spirals of yellow light rose from the water, then coiled into towering strings that rose far into the unseen roof above.
Reaching out, she plucked the first cord that had been made.
“Bree and Grace care about me.”
Then, she pulled the other.
“Bree and Grace will always be my best friends no matter what we go through.”
“Now those are some pretty solid beliefs.” Anger stated, standing beside her with a satisfied grin upon his lips.
Joy turned to face him, relief and adoration flooding her senses. The day had ended unexpectedly, but in the ways she had so desperately hoped for. Riley was happy, her friends were still a part of her life. Either way the day would have ended this way, but without Anger’s reassurance she was unsure if she would have been able to remain hopeful enough to see it through.
She gazed back up at the new beliefs, leaning to rest her head on Anger’s shoulder now that she was at his height.
“It’s exactly what Riley needed.” Joy spoke.
“And you too?” Anger prompted, giving her a nudge.
“Yes…” She wrapped an arm around his own, holding him close as she closed her eyes with content. “More than I ever needed anything before, I think.”
“You’ll be fine, Starshine.” Anger whispered, leaning to press a kiss atop her blue locks. “Just try and keep this in mind when we face similar bumps in the road. Riley needs your strength, and so do the others.”
“I’ll do my best.” She replied, nuzzling into his neck. “But at least I know you’ll be here to keep me on the right track.”
“Always…” Anger hummed, “I’m not ever going to let you give up that easy.”
“I don’t doubt it.” Joy giggled, her small fingers curling between his larger ones.
Now this was the right way to end a day on a good note. With Riley falling asleep happy, and Joy pressing into the emotion she adored the most.
And as they began to sway back and forth with one another, she knew his adoration for her was surely shared just as strongly.