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Chapter Text

Severus walked hunched down the hallway, clutching the stack of potions books to his chest. His thick black hair hung in stringy clumps after spending the last free period brewing, fumes and perspiration caused his problems. He always got hot and stuffy when he brewed for long periods of time, but he was on the brink of a breakthrough with this last batch. Severus still felt warm under his school robes, he knew that his thin button up was plastered to his back. He did not dare to remove the robes though. Severus learned that lesson the hard way.

The only reason he was working so hard was that maybe within the month he could have something to show for months of testing, he just needed help getting it published or reviewed. He chewed on his cracked lip thinking about whether talking to Slughorn would help or not. Should he bother reaching out to Lucius, he didn’t want to owe him a favor though.

“Snivellus, move out of the way before we are slipping on your grease in the hallway,” Black jeered, breaking Severus from his thoughts, as he came sauntering down the hallway with Potter at his side like always. Glued together at the hip, those two idiots. Severus took a deep breath and grit his teeth, his hand itching to whip his wand out. “Got nothing to say? All those cauldron fumes finally getting to your head?” Black stood with his chest out, uniform in disarray and Potter’s wasn’t that much better. Tie askew, buttons half done and robes entirely forgotten.

Severus’ eyes flashed, his hand got just that much closer to his wand. “Come on Pads,” Potter clapped his hand on Black’s shoulder and sneered, “you don’t want to get close to the greasy git..” Potter’s blue eyes met his and the bastard smirked. Severus dug his nails into his palm, Mulciber’s comment from this morning sitting heavy in his mind about house points and dignity. “Would you look at that, Snivelly really has nothing to say.”

Black lifted his wand with a smirk and Severus barely contained the flinch. Presumptuous idiots, he could take them if he wanted to but he was someone who kept his word. Clearly the Gryffindors didn’t think the same since they’re conversation with the Headmaster.

“Boys! Don’t you have classes to be getting to,” Professor McGonagall announced as she came towards them. Black quickly slipped his want into his robes and smiled wide into something that was meant to be charming, Severus assumed. Before he could open his mouth, she held up a hand, “Don’t bother, Mr.Black please just get to class before I have to start taking points, you as well Mr.Potter. Go on.” She urged them with a pointed look. The two boys moved down the corridor and glared at him behind her back. “And adjust yourselves please, have some decorum.” Her wand flicked and their ties and shirts swirled into place.

Severus seethed, of course the golden boys just got a warning. With a barely contained sigh he waited for the point deduction or detention that would be waiting for him. Mulciber and Avery were going to be thrilled.

“Hm. Hm,” McGonagall cleared her throat and he looked up at her. “Mr.Snape, you shouldn’t be loitering in the hallways as well but I’m glad I’ve found you. Headmaster Dumbledore wants to discuss a matter with you.”

Severus' eyebrows shot up, “With me? I haven’t done anything wrong.” His temper is already flaring up. His grip tightened on his books.

Tired eyes watched him behind her spectacles, “You’re not in trouble, Mr.Snape. Come along. He’s already waiting for us.” And she swept off, he could only follow behind.

Before he knew it, they stood in front of the Griffin statue. “Potted Kneazles,” she announced. “Alright, the Headmaster is up there. I’ve already informed Professor Beltane that you will not be attending lessons today, if this were too take long.” With that she made a shooing motion at Severus to go up. Severus stepped onto the spinning staircase.

Dumbledore sat at his desk, the variety of magical instruments shifted and moved in a manner that didn’t seem to have any sense - much like their owner Severus thought to himself. Dark eyes wandered about before sitting down in the chair across from the Headmaster. The older wizard smiled behind his half moon glasses and gestured to the crystal bowl, “Lemon Drop?” The old wizard stirred his tea calmly.

“No, thank you,” he paused, face carefully blank, “am I in trouble, Headmaster? I haven’t said anything about Lupin and the fight the other day was not my fault.” He hissed out. The last time it was the two of them sitting in this office, Severus was nearly killed, and Dumbledore was very much not on his side. The Headmaster’s precious lions took priority even though Black used Lupin as a tool for a scare tactic. The old wizard held up a hand, and Severus frowned, noticing the twinkle in the man’s eye. This couldn’t end well for him, he just knew it.

“No, no my dear boy. You’re not in any trouble. Quite the opposite, an opportunity arose that some think would be beneficial to you.” Dumbledore sat back and let the words sink in. He took a sip from his tea cup and watched over the rim. Severus swallowed and fixed his posture so he sat up straight nearing eye level with the older wizard. “It came to my attention that the Malfoy family-” Severus ticked up an eyebrow, “has taken some interest in your talents. Young Mr.Malfoy has been known to accompany you on many outings and has only spoken highly of your achievements to Lord Abraxas Malfoy.” At this the pale blue eyes of the man bore into Severus, but he could only sit in shock trying to wrap his head around what Lucius might be playing at.

With his finger steepled, he continued “This does not happen often, but some Pureblood families are known to sponsor other students to help them with ventures they see potential in.” He ended with a small smile.

Severus swallowed hard, his brow furrowing. His mind churned with the possibilities. “So essentially the Malfoys would help provide funds for my potion experiments in trade for...” It seemed too good to be true, Lucius must be plotting something and if not him then Narcissa had something to do with this. His mind started to wander and what that could mean for him, maybe he didn’t have to go back to Spinner’s End or at least he didn’t have to stay with that bastard of a father.

The headmaster hummed, “Not quite, it’s similar to an adoption of sorts. You receive the same treatment as if you were a Malfoy and they take care of any needs you may require. Of course, they act as a benefactor and will check on whichever projects you decide to pursue.” Severus couldn’t believe it, why would the Malfoys reach out to a poor half-blood like him. He knew he excelled in potions and already created some spells on his own but what could he really offer them?

The Headmaster continued, “Of course, a decision does not need to be made at the moment and with holiday break right around the corner, the Malfoys thought it best to extend a formal invitation for you to spend it with them as a trial period.” At this Severus couldn’t contain himself and his jaw dropped, he’s visited Malfoy Manor maybe a handful of times since his tentative, would he call it friendship, with Lucius. He’s been exchanging letters since the other has graduated but this went beyond that. And now they want to spend Yule with him.

Dumbledore watched the boy in front of him, his lip twitching at the corner. “There would be no punishment if you decide to decline either offer but it is something that should be considered.” Severus watched as the Headmaster opened a drawer and pulled out a thick cream colored envelope, sliding it across the desk. The swirling script of his name looked foreign to him but the Malfoy seal was there, stamped in all its silver glory. Why would the Headmaster want him to go and be with a family that is known for the Dark Arts, none of this was making any sense.

He let out a long breath and sat back in the plush chair, eyeing the envelope. The two sat in silence for a while and Severus’ mind whirled and knowing Lucius would be unbearable if he were to decline. Maybe it’s best to let the man stew a little before accepting, of course he would need to read the letter and see what Lord Malfoy really wants.

Severus stood and took the envelope, “Thank you Headmaster, I think this would be a great opportunity but I would like some more time to consider.”

“Of course my boy, and you’re always welcome here if you need any advice or anything else.” Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled. With a brisk nod, Severus made his way back down the staircase. Severus doubted that he would be back up here.

It was near dinner time now. His meeting with Dumbledore ran longer than he thought. There was no point going all the way across the castle to the other wing to catch the last minutes of class just to come back to the Great Hall. Severus worried the envelope’s edges as he wandered down the empty hallway. He frowned to himself and ducked into an alcove, pulling out the letter he began to read.

There were a couple of sheets of parchment that were neatly folded and tucked inside. Settling against the cool stone wall, he glanced over the papers in his hands. It sounded too good to be true even after the third time he read over the neat swirling script. He needed to talk to Lucius because it left him feeling a bit unsettled. Good things like this don’t just drop into his lap without a caveat. Brushing off his thin robes, he tapped the parchment and they slid neatly back into the envelope which slipped into his bag. Picking up his books, he made his way to dinner.

Other students were still filing in when he walked through the doors. Glancing at the head table he saw Dumbedore there who raised his head as they made eye contact. Severus quickly dropped his eyes and let his hair make a curtain as he continued to the Slytherin table.

“Ah, Severus there you are. Wondered when you were going to show up, Avery told me you weren’t in Runes today,” Regulus drawled. Severus contained the urge to roll his eyes at the younger boy. “I wanted to ask if you could help me with Potions this week.” There it was.

Severus sneered, “I’ve been stuck with Dumbledore, so sorry I couldn’t be at your beck and call, Black. And again? We just did a revision earlier this week.” He paused as he watched the younger Black puff up and cut off the boy’s rant before it could get started, “Have you heard of families sponsoring other wizards?”

Regulus paused and looked up from the meal he was picking at. Tilting his head, an action that seemed unconscious since the motion reminded Severus too much of the boy’s brother. “The idea of it sounds familiar, I believe my Uncle might have done something like that for an aspiring Dragon researcher or something similar. I don’t know too much about it though, why?” Slate gray eyes slid to him, watching like he did in his quiet way.

Severus glanced down the long Slytherin table and shook his head, “Not here, I’ll tell you about it in the Potion’s lab later.” Regulus nodded his head and went back to eating.

Chapter Text

Sirius glared across the Great Hall as he watched Snivellus lean closer to his brother, the two whispering to each other. What could they possibly have to talk about? Other ways of being evil or ways to piss him off? Their mutual hatred towards Muggles? A nudge to his ribs made his piece of chicken fly off his fork. “Hey! What the bloody hell was that for?” He snapped at Remus who watched him with a cool expression.

“Maybe eat your dinner instead of glaring at Snape and your brother,” the other boy replied. Sirius went to reply but Remus shook his head. “You can’t burn a hole in their heads by glaring at them the entire time, just leave it Sirius. You should be happy that your brother has a friend, since you haven’t been talking to him.”

His expression darkened at the jab but he playfully pouted instead. “But Snivellus! Come on, you and I know Reggie can do better than that dark-arts loving slime ball,” he whined at him. Sirius turned to James for support but found the idiot chatting up Evans who looked like she wished she’d rather be anywhere else. “Anyway, are you coming to Jame’s for Christmas this year?” He could hear the desperate hope in his own voice and hid the cringe.

Remus took another bite from his cake and hummed a bit, “You know I would Pads but I don’t know.” Sirius watched him and bit back a sigh, he shouldn’t be surprised. He’s honestly just glad that Remus is talking to him again. “Back to Snape,” he pointed with his own fork at the two Slytherins that were now absorbed in different conversations, “I would say you're jealous.” Remus finished with a smirk.

Sirius sputtered which caused him to choke on his food. The aggressive coughing finally got James’ attention and patted him aggressively on the back. “Jealous? Who, me? Of Snivellus? You’re losing it, Moony.”

Remus shrugged in response, “I can’t seem to think of another reason why you would hate him so much, you spend half your meals with your eyes on him or stalking him in the halls.” Sirius gawked, he couldn’t believe his ears. “Look, you want to talk to your brother but he doesn’t want to talk to you, and who does he talk to? Snape,” he continued ignoring his friend’s outburst. “Maybe you could talk to Snape and see if he can pass along a message.”

Scoffing, “As if I would willingly talk to the greasy bastard. Plus, I don’t need Snivellus if I want to talk to my own brother.” Remus only rolled his eyes in response. Jealous, please. Remus must be losing his mind.

“Alright Severus, tell me what you’ve been so nervous about,” Regulus announced once the door to the potion’s lab closed. Severus wanted to roll his eyes at the way the other sounded like a brat, he really is just a little spoiled pureblood sometimes. He sighed and pulled the letter from his robes and slid it across the desk. His mind wandered as Regulus read on and couldn’t help but start to daydream about copper plated cauldrons and high quality fresh ingredients neatly lined up in glass jars. “Well, you’re going to do it right?” The letter lay open between them. “You would be an idiot of you not to, and the Malfoy’s could only help you, Sev.”

“Regulus, I told you not to call me that. And of course I want to do it but-”

“No buts, look we don’t have to talk about your current social standing,” Regulus barreled on and ignored Severus’ scowl, “think about what this can do for you. I would say the Black’s could sponsor you.” What was left unsaid was that the Black’s didn’t even treat their own sons’ right, how would they treat a child that’s not their own? Especially a half-blood not that Regulus knew that tidbit.

As the awkwardness seemed to settle around them, Severus let out a long breath and leaned precariously back on the stool. “I would be a fool not to, wouldn’t I?”

“I can help you with pureblood customs in exchange for potions tutoring?” He responded cheekily. This time Severus did nothing to stop the groan and thumped his head on the desk.

“Let’s do it,” Severus let the nervousness subside, worrying about it would get him nowhere. He lifted head to see Regulus giving him a small smile. “Alright, pureblood, open your potions book and let’s see what we can do before practicals.” It was Regulus’ turn to groan but did as he was told. He would write a response back to Lucius tomorrow.

Sirius stalked through the corridors, not really caring where he was going. The stone hallways were frigid and the glass windows were covered in frost casting weak winter light on the dull stones. He kept going until he spotted a familiar dark figure trudging further up the hallway. Alone. Smirking his mood lightened a bit, maybe he could have some fun before he had to leave. Moony’s voice started in his mind but he pushed it away.

“Snape!” He called out but the prat didn’t slow down. What the hell? There was no way he didn’t hear him. If anything it looked like the other boy was moving faster but unfortunately he wouldn’t be able to escape that easily. With long strides he caught up to him and blocked his path. Sirius plastered a wide smile on his face. He knew he looked down right feral. “Just stopped to say bye before hols.” Fake cheer dripped from every word.

Snape scoffed and stood in front of Sirius, the dark eyes reflected his own reflection back at him. “Save your breath, mutt. Leave off it. Shouldn’t you be chasing after Potter or is he too busy for you now?” The git smirked up at him. Sirius frowned and his brow creased.

“Leave James out of this.” He shoved Snape against the wall and surprisingly the other boy let himself be manhandled. It was at times like these where he remembers how he towers over the other in height and in mass. Snape looked so small against the wall but that didn’t stop the fury in his eyes. “Jealousy doesn’t look good on you.” He ground out. Snape kept quiet but watched him with dark eyes. Sirius realized that he hadn’t fought back once, there was no struggle. “Finally decided on not fighting back, eh Snivelly? Took you long enough.” Sirius could feel rising disappointment, he was aiming for a fight. Walaburga sent a letter about Yule and he’s been seething since. Peter and Remus were fed up with his mood and told him to cool his head. Look where that got him. “Should’ve done that from the start, Snivellus, would’ve saved you some trouble.” Sirius would rather die before he would admit he always got a thrill from fighting with the Slytherin. Made his magic and blood thrum with eagerness.

“Oh yeah? You really would’ve left me alone? Potter started it first and you were more than happy to join in. Don’t lie to me or yourself Black. You just wanted an excuse to pick on a Slytherin.” He spat out.

Sirius glared. “But you never did back down, did you Snape? You used us as an excuse to practice your curses on. All your spells were created to hurt, don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it?” Sirius could admit that Snape was beyond proficient in the Dark Arts and he had a knack for coming up with the nastiest curses. Hell, he’s used some of Snape’s own on the boy himself - a sense of retribution of sorts he always thought.

The other boy huffed, not denying anything but looked away instead. His veins jumped in his pale neck as his jaw worked, probably holding back another retort. Sirius watched it for a moment before he was suddenly stumbling backward. Snape adjusted his uniform and slid his wand quietly into his robes. Fucker, he can cast silently? “Stay the fuck away from me Black, I mean it. We’re about to be on equal footing soon.” With that he smirked and stalked off probably towards the dungeons. What did he mean equal footing? Was the stupid git planning on growing half a foot over the break. A spindly looking Snape made him laugh at the mental image.

Shaking his head, he headed to the pitch with hopes of taking the skies so it would clear his head. Moony’s comments still rattled around. What did he have to be jealous about, he had everything he could want.

Chapter Text

The empty classroom was spotless even though there were clear signs this room hasn’t been used in years. Severus watched as Regulus conjured what seemed like an endless amount of silverware and several sheets of parchment.

“Today, we’ll be going over the basics. Etiquette lessons,” Regulus he stated, “You clearly weren’t brought up with any but you do a decent enough job so this shouldn’t be too difficult. Now take a seat.” Severus did as instructed, a little bemused. “Now, in front of you are the basic silverware at most dinners and formal parties. We’ll go over when to use what but if you happen to forget watch what the other guests are doing.”

“This is basic?” There was a neat row over eight different pieces.

“Yes, basic. And be grateful I’m going to be much nicer than my tutor. Ouch, okay I get it. Let’s start with when to use this spoon and then cutting techniques.”

“Then no reading during meals, discussions will take place so make sure you listen well to your conversation partner, eye contact is something you’ll need to work on.

“Good, well it looks like you got most of it, just practice during meals and you’ll be fine. Though maybe don’t cut like you’re dissecting something, it’s off putting. Next, we’ll work on body language and brief lessons on blood lines and family ties. It’s the who knows who, whom to befriend or not to offend. I fear that it will be much more difficult.”

“Regulus be quiet or I won’t review your essay on not traditional uses of murtlap essence,” Severus hissed out.

Regulus walked and quickly hid his surprise, “You’re here already.”

“I wanted somewhere quiet to study and might as well wait for you here. I memorized the sacred twenty-eight and marriages from the past five years. Is it common for cousins to marry, I didn’t realize the inbreeding was like this.”

Regulus sighed. “I’m going to ignore what you just said, but many don’t take well with marrying out their social standards. There are of course exceptions but they’re not part of the pure blood communities, I’m sure you could think of some.” Severus was thinking about his own mother and her choices but Regulus didn’t need to know that. “Anyway, next we will be what we’ve both been dreading. Alright stand up, let’s do pleasantries,” Regulus said with a smirk.

Severus took a steady breath and tried to reign in his pride, this was for the best.

“Remember eye contact and a stiff bow without it seeming condescending, good. Now don’t stare like that, it's unnerving just enough eye contact that they know you’re listening. Relax your shoulders, pull them back. Okay lift your chin, huh I never noticed how long your neck is.”

“Regulus.”

“Right, okay now take a turn around the room without slouching. Don’t glare! Just look mildly pleasant, no not like that. Is that even possible for you? Ow!”

Severus put his wand back in his sleeve and adjusted his shoulders. “If you tell me to balance books on my head this is over.”

“Books on your head? What on Merlin’s name are you talking about? I was taught with a leather strap pulling my shoulders back, but I thought you wouldn’t like that. But you’re making progress of sorts. Luckily, you won’t have to worry about dressing yourself. I trust the Malfoy’s house elves to take care of that for you, or at least Cissy will have something nice for you. Shame you wear such baggy clothes - no offense.”

Severus sighed, “I’m sort of offended but I know you don’t mean it not unkindly unlike your brother.”

Scoffing, “I have more manners than that brute, he could hardly pay attention in his lessons. Often got him in trouble after but that’s neither here nor there.” Regulus clapped his hands. “Well we can review a little more and then you can help me.”

This continued on for what seemed like forever and the extra work strained with the tests that were just around the corner. Severus was sure he was mumbling greetings and last names in his sleep though his dormmates haven’t said anything.

Regulus was patient and also worked well in the lab when he had some small guidance. Severus could easily admit that the boy was a near genius though he lacked confidence and didn’t have many friends - almost the opposite of the older Black now that he thought about it. Another bonus with spending all his time with the younger Black, he rarely saw anyone else including the idiot Gryffindors. The last few weeks were about as pleasant as his life could be at Hogwarts. Shaking his head, Severus focused on his essay; he had three more inches to go. He just had to get through the next couple of days.

The next thing Severus knew the holiday break was here. Tests were done and a different kind of test awaited him. He felt confident in his studies. Regulus’ help enlightened him a great deal, his attitude was his biggest problem but it wasn’t as if Lucius didn’t know that. And it wasn’t going to change overnight anyway. Sighing he stared out the window of the train tuning out Avery and Mulciber chatting inanely about who knows what. It felt strange not staying in the castle during the break. The snowy white landscape flew by beyond the frosty windows.

“Severus, is it true the Malfoys’ invited over for Yule?” Avery asked, turning away from Mulciber who apparently fell asleep. Severus watched with disdain as drool started to slip down his chin. Avery grimaced across from him and slid away from the drooling idiot. A quick spell and the drool was gone.

He nodded, “I don’t really know what Lucius is thinking but better it’s than staying in that dreary school more than I need to.” The other boy laughed.

“That’s true,” he smiled widely, “Knowing you, you would lock yourself in the library if you could get away with it.” Severus was sure that Avery didn’t know how true that actually was. That’s how he spent most of his breaks in the library ever since starting at Hogwarts. With most of the students gone and the events of being harassed, the library became a safe place. “But since you’ll be staying at the Malfoy Manor, maybe we’ll see each other at the Yule Ball they're hosting this year, unless you are going to find a dark corner to hide in.” He finished with a laugh.

He watched Avery, brown hair coiffed perfectly falling into his eyes. Severus kicked him at him from his seat in the compartment. “I doubt Lucius would allow that since I’m sure that’s when he’ll be announcing his engagement.” Severus watched the other boy close the book he was reading and looked at him. “Do you know if Narcissa is staying there too?”

Mulciber startled awake as the train jerked. “What are we talking about?” And the big idiot smirked when they filled him in, “Don't get me started on that dull party. We’re going to see every Slytherin student there.” Severus sniffed and tucked his hair back. “It’ll be like the common room but worse since our parents will be there.”

“You know I would skip it if I could but that would be rude since they’re hosting me.”

Mulciber laughed, “I’ll save a dance for you then.”

“Please, don’t.” Avery sighed and re-opened his book, the cover read, Courting through the Centuries. “Avery, you have your eye on someone?” Lifting his chin to gesture at the book. Avery just gave him an unimpressed look and flipped a page.

“It doesn’t hurt to read up on other subjects, Snape. And you know better. Want to borrow it when I’m done? Don't know if you'd need it though” The other boy quipped, and Snape sneered at him.

Chapter Text

The train pulled into Kings Cross Station, students poured out onto the platform. Severus took his time grabbing his battered trunk. His dorm mates muttered their goodbyes and slipped into the crowd. His nerves jittered under his skin and he pushed some of his hair back, pulling his thin scarf closer around his neck. When he stepped out, his dark eyes swept across the swarm of bodies and landed on a pale head leaning against the brick. He inclined his head and waded through the other students.

“Malfoy.” Lucius stood wearing tailored robes, polished shoes, and his pale hair was tied with a ribbon falling over a shoulder. He looked like wealth. 

“Severus, don’t be like that. We’re friends,” Lucius smirked and with a quick wave of his wand, Severus felt warmth settle over him. Before he could even say thank you, the blond snapped his fingers. A wide-eyed house elf popped in beside them.

“How can Zola be of service?” Its creaky voice asked, big dull brown eyes looked from one wizard to the other.

“Take Severus’ trunk to his room, and let the other’s know to start dinner.” With a bow and crack, the elf disappeared with his trunk. “Come on, we can side-along to the Manor. Cissa is excited to see you, she’s looking forward to spending Yule with us.”

Severus raised a brow at that, so it was true. He was a little apprehensive about Narcissa Black. He didn’t know her quite as well as Lucius though, even if they started dating during his third year. The Black sisters he only really heard of. “I didn’t realize she was staying with you as well.” Lucius merely shrugged and held out his arm. Dark eyes looked at it in distaste but gripped the arm. Thick warm fabric wrinkled under his white knuckled grip as the world spun around them. 

The pair landed at tall black wrought iron gates of Malfoy Manor. Severus let go and straightened himself, the wards were pressing in on him but didn’t reject him outright. He let his eyes take in the extensive gardens beyond and kept his face in check when he saw what looked like a white peacock wandering the grounds. Rich purebloods with more money they know what to do with, buying birds to roam about just for aesthetics.

“Father is currently out, but should be back by tomorrow evening. He’s at some Ministry function or other,” he stated loftily, as they moved down that gravel path towards the main doors. “I’ll have a house elf show you to your room before supper. I’m sure Cissa can wait a little longer while you freshen up from your trip.” He paused and stared at Severus’s rumpled appearance, but finished with a slight smile. “If you need anything, snap and an elf will assist you. It’s good to have you here, Severus.” 

A grand entrance hall covered in ornate decals and large portraits of previous Lord Malfoys lined the walls. White and gray marble made up nearly every surface. Severus resisted the urge to look down to see if he was able to view his reflection on the polished floor, knowing he didn’t want to see what he looked like after spending time on that train. No matter how many times he’s been here it always felt wrong for him to be here.

The same elf from the station popped into existence and took Lucius’ outer robes, and they continued further into the manor up to a staircase. “Your bedroom is upstairs, third door on the left., Mopsy will guide you.” A smaller house elf with big gray eyes bowed at both of them. Lucius stepped back and turned to go down a hallway. “Supper is at six o’clock sharp. You’ll find some robes in the wardrobe, thank Narcissa later.” And with that Severus climbed the dark marble steps following the small house elf and quickly found his room for the next two weeks.

“If sirs need anything, snap twice and Mopsy will help you.” With another bow and pop the elf was gone. Severus turned and took it in.

First of all, it was a different room than he was used to staying in. Even bigger than the times he’s spent the night on the rare occasion, which was saying something since the guest room was already three times as big as his room at home. Plush pillows and blankets were piled high on the dark wood four poster bed that was centered in the room against the wall. An en suite bathroom door stood ajar to the right, and a large dark wardrobe stood with a floor length mirror beside it on the opposite wall. Floor length windows flanked the bed with heavy drapes that framed the views of the back gardens that were silver and white, frosted covered foliage glittered in the dreary winter light. Severus squinted but couldn’t find the albino peacock from his viewpoint.

With a sigh he made his way into an ostentatious bathroom that he scoffed at - epitome of pureblood money. He hung his school robes and started the bath. Opening up the cabinet he found neat bottles of various shampoos and ailment relievers in a variety of colors. His long pale fingers plucked one up and sniffed it, then proceeded to dump it in the tub. Casting a quick tempus, he had over an hour till supper. Severus stripped down and folded his clothes with a wave of his hand. The hot water felt heavenly and the bath oil reminded him of the forest in the spring. 

Thoughts started to wander as his eyes slid shut. He was really here in Malfoy’s stupid big manor with a plush bed to sleep in and soaking in a porcelain tub that was the size of his childhood bed. Severus wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all. He ran a hand over his face.

After the bath water started to cool Severus stepped out and grabbed a fluffy towel. Reentering the bedroom, he felt warm and clean. The wardrobe not only held dark green dinner robes but what seemed like an endless row of other formal and casual robes in various colors and cuts. At the bottom, a couple pairs of dress shoes and boots. He stood there in his towel with his mouth open like a simpleton, his mother would be appalled at the careless action or maybe not. What did Malfoy think he was doing, hand clenched on the oak wardrobe door itching to slam it shut.

With a severe inhale in through his nose, he let the breath out. He had to reign in his pride. Severus pulled out the dress robes and got to work putting them on. After a couple of minutes fiddling with the silver buttons, Severus stepped in front of the mirror. The material was soft and felt luxurious after wearing his school robes and hand-me-downs. The person in the mirror cut a dark picture in the reflection, he turned his body this way and that. Lucius knew a thing about fashion and so did Narcissa so this shouldn't be that surprising. It was just that Severus never knew his body could look like this. His skinny legs looked long and lean in the black slacks, his shoulders broad in the dinner robes, and waist was small in the tapered waistcoat. Severus always had a small figure and him being near malnourished growing up obviously didn’t help. He stared and huffed a laugh, so this is what he would look like if he wore clothes that fit and were made of good quality. But he was still too skinny and had limbs that were too long, and then there was the case of his nose.

Severus was never vain but smirked at his reflection, maybe these were the kinds of clothes he could afford being a Potions Master or Ingredient Researcher under this sponsorship. But before all this extravagant nonsense, he owed a debt to the Malfoys now and he would repay them for this kindness.

The manor’s dining room was large, in an unnecessary way Severus thought to himself as he followed behind a house elf in a dingy striped pillow case. A massive rectangular room with high ceilings where two crystal chandeliers glowed against the gray and black marble. In the center of the room atop a plush gray rug was a long black lacquered dining table that could easily seat thirty people comfortably. A roaring fire crackling merrily in the tall fireplace opposite of the room gave the otherwise cold room an odd cheery glow. Lucius stood by one of the windows, gaze beyond the snowy gardens. 

“Master Snape is here Master Lucius,” the house elf’s voice squeaked. Lucius turned with a small smile playing on his lips.

“Look at you Severus, Narcissa said you would clean up nice and I never doubted it.”

Severus dipped his head, “Thank you for the generous robes, Lucius. It’s more than I anticipated, I extend my thanks to Lord Malfoy as well.”

The other man scoffed, “Please don’t be so formal. Father isn’t here so there isn’t a need for that. You weren’t even like this at school. Sit, Cissa will be here in a moment. Ah there she is.” Narcissa glided into the room with all pureblood grace. Blonde hair curling around her shoulders and dark blue robes fluttered as she made her way over.  Severus kissed her hand. “Keep your hands to yourself, that’s my fiance you’re touching.” Narcissa rolled her eyes and Severus smirked at her. 

“It’s nice to see you, Severus. And Lucius please, you have yet to propose so there’s no fiance here.” She moved across the room where Lucius met her half way. With a quick kiss on the cheek they stepped away. “Now, sit please. We need to get some meat on your bones. You were always so skinny.” Severus swallowed down the indignation that wanted to flare up, and sat in a stiff dining chair. “You know I mean well,” she said softly. Her blonde hair shifted, a furrow in her brows.

Lucius patted her hand in an action to calm, snapped his fingers and dinner appeared. “Severus, we only want to help you. And we can’t do that when you are skin and bones, this is also a part of the sponsorship. Your health in body and mind.” A spread that could rival Hogwarts but sophistication that was beyond that of children appeared on the table. 

Severus looked down in his lap. He wasn’t expecting such kindness, and couldn’t help but wonder if there was more he needed to provide and show for this. “Understood, and I know you wanted me to speak casually Lucius but I want you to know I am truly grateful for this opportunity.”

Narcissa smiled at him, and for a brief moment he wondered how Sirius Black could be related to such a person. “Wonderful, Severus. Now let’s eat, you and I have lots to discuss before Yule.” Dark eyes flicked to Lucius who simply cut into his meat. A pale hand waved away at him, “Lucius will be too busy at the Ministry, I’ll be the one to assist.” Dread settled in the pit of his stomach, but managed to swallow down some of the roasted vegetables.

Chapter Text

Narcissa and Severus sat in one of the many rooms in the Manor in front of a roaring fire. Books and parchment laid open and marked up on the table between them. Lord Malfoy greeted them earlier and reviewed some terms with Severus regarding the sponsorship, and again was floored at the admiration of his skills he received even if it was subtle. He started to worry that Lucius touted his abilities above what he was capable of. Sighing, he gazed into the fire.

“Am I boring you?” Narcissa's posh voice snapped him out of his thoughts, an apology already on his lips but he saw her smile. “We have been at this awhile, since it’s only theory how about we go into practice?”

“Now?”

“No time like the present, plus we only have a couple of days but I know you’re a quick study, Severus.” They’ve been reviewing pureblood customs, traditions, culture and history for two days, some of which he went over with Regulus but not to this extent. Narcissa was delighted to find out that her baby cousin taught Severus some things already. Then they moved on to manners in court, and recently touched upon learning dances which he’s been actively ignoring. “Come on, stand up. Webest practice since the ball is next week,” she said looking at him up and down. Even though it’s only been a few days, the dark circles under his eyes have nearly disappeared and the constant meals helped keep his mind at ease.
Not needing to worry about his next meal or stressing over arguments with his parents that they always had that got only worse this time of year. Guilt wanted to set in but he shoved it away in his mind. Wasn’t best to dwell on that now, since he knew Tobias was happier that he didn’t come home. Maybe he would leave Eileen alone for once. He thought briefly of his parents and couldn’t stomach seeing them any time soon.

Narcissa rose from the chair and flicked her wand at the ancient gramophone. Soft waltz music started up as she stepped into the center of the room her lithe arms held aloft. “Assume the starting position, Severus. No, no come closer, you can’t dance like that.” Lucius chose that moment to step into the room. Severus was sure his face was blotchy from the blush he could feel creeping up his neck while his hands were still hesitant on Narcissa’s waist and shoulder. The woman frowned at the boy in front of her trying to tug at him to get closer.

“Cissa, dearest, why are you harassing poor Severus.” Said boy jumped away at his voice as if he got burned. Lucius chuckled while she glared at him. “We can’t force you to get close to her, but you really can’t dance properly with that much space between the two of you.”

“It’s not meant to embarrass you, Severus. And Lucius, maybe you’ll have better luck, since you’re back early.” She retreated to the chaise lounge near the window and an elf popped in with a tea tray. With a flick the music started over.

“Seems like I’ve been volunteered,” he said with a put upon sigh. “Well come here Severus, let’s get you loosened up.” Severus glared at his former upperclassman, but moved toward the other. “Now, I’ll play the woman’s part, so that it's easier, so adjust your hands like so, yes. Good. Now a step closer please.” With them in the proper position, Severus was so close he could smell the man’s cologne and see his pale lashes. He swallowed and counted the steps in his head as they moved about the room. A deep sigh broke him out of his eight-count. “Severus, I can practically hear you counting. Do not look at your feet. It’d be best to look at your dance partner's eyes, also you are supposed to be leading,” Lucius drawled.

“I never knew a witch could be so tall,” he snapped back, then flushed. Narcissa laughed from her seat. “Sorry, let’s try again.” Severus lifted his head from the intricate rug into Lucius’ gray eyes. The music started again and he tightened his grip on the man’s waist. Severus had to tilt his head up to meet the other man’s gaze, since he was quite short, coming in at 176 cm. The music swelled and fell in rhythm, and in turn they turned and swayed. The song petered out and a new one started, but Lucuis stepped away to come into a deep bow that Severus haltingly replicated.

Narcissa clapped, “My, didn’t you two make a pretty picture. If I were anyone else I’d be jealous.” Lucius was by her side in a flash holding her hands, muttering sweet nonsense to her. Severus rolled his eyes and grabbed the ribbon from the table to tie his hair back. All this dancing was making him too warm, especially with the fire still going. “Oh, Severus!” Startled, he turned, eyes wide. “You must wear your hair back more often, your features look much more striking. Don’t you agree, dear?”

The man looked at him, tilted his head in consideration, “I think you’re right Cissa. With a little more meat on you and some time away from your cauldron, you’d be a striking wizard.” Severus stared at them dumbly. He was supposed to be learning, researching and experimenting for this sponsorship, not dancing and priming himself like some fawning girl going to her first ball.

“Thank you for the kind words, but I know what I am and what I am not. More value my brains than my looks,” he bit out trying not to sneer at his hosts. Severus wiped his sweaty palms along the soft wool trousers and tucked a hair behind his ear.
She frowned at this, stood from the chaise and grabbed Severus’ clammy hand. Lucius raised a pale brow. “I’m borrowing him for the remainder of the day, and I’ll be stopping by Gringotts for what we’ll be doing.” And before he could even reply, “Severus, grab your coat.”

Diagon Alley was busier than usual, fellow Hogwarts students on break were milling through the streets with their friends or parents. Shops were full of people buying gifts or smaller kids had their nose pressed to glass for things they were to beg their parents to buy for them. Severus trailed half a step behind Narcissa’s blonde head. She weaved through the crowd, or did the crowd part for her he did not know. Severus kept his eyes on a swivel for students to avoid or that might recognize him.

With a tug he stumbled forward and Narcissa’s arm clamped around him to steer him off the main street coming up short in front of a dark green little shop. He didn’t have time to read the sign that swung in the slight winter breeze before he was shoved through.

A thin older wizard stood in front, “Ah, Ms.Black so wonderful to see you. Hope your family is well.” The two exchanged pleasantries as Severus looked about. There was a clinical style to the place, something like a Muggle doctor’s office, and Severus wasn’t quite sure what they sold or did. He was about to look at a poster on the wall when he was called over.

“Mr. Snape please have a seat, we’ll start with the numbing cream and get to work,” the elderly wizard adjusted his spectacles and gestured to a long cushioned bench. “Come now, it won’t hurt.” He was about to ask but Narcissa just smiled at him over the man’s shoulder. Severus decided he shouldn’t question her, who knows what she would tell Lucius if he decided not to obey.

Blearily Severus sat up, he didn’t know how long he laid there. He heard the older wizard and Narcissa discussing the tell tale sound of coin, money being exchanged. Running his tongue over his teeth, he couldn’t feel his mouth. Brows furrowing, he brought a thin finger to run along the ridges of his teeth. “Ah, yes the numbness will wear off in the next few minutes and if you feel any discomfort a light Pain Reducer potion will fix that right up. But ah, here you go Mr.Snape. Take a look for yourself.”

He was given a hand mirror, he pulled his lips back in a grimace and tried not to gawk at the sight. His yellowed crooked teeth have been straightened, not perfectly but in tidy enough rows, and now gleamed in an off white color. If he squinted he could still see some yellowing or maybe he was projecting. Trying not to feel self conscious as he held the mirror aloft and gave a timid smile. Severus really didn’t care about his appearance, but he knew people like the Malfoy’s and Black’s had an image to uphold. Now that he also represents them in a fashion, he supposes that image extends to him.

The smile didn’t reach his eyes, but the teeth already had such a difference on his face. Turning away from the mirror, he directed a softer, toothless, smile to Narcissa who looked smug. Before he could say anything to the elderly man, he was foisted up and urged out back into the streets.

Narcissa presented him with such an odd question and Severus didn’t know which way he should answer. “You don’t have to if you want to, I just wanted to give you the option.” She was smiling politely but wasn’t pushing which he was appreciating.

“I never bother with anything like this, and didn’t entertain the thought,” he replied quietly. They were standing in an alley away from the main thoroughfare. “It’s not like I like it or anything but it never hindered me in any way.” Except for the first two times, those were the worst.

“We don’t have to do it now but I figured since we’re here. It would be painless if that’s any comfort.”

Severus didn’t understand this part of society and these hidden ideas. But one thing was for certain, if he did this it would erase a certain part of his childhood he wanted to leave behind.
“Alright, let’s do it.”

The medi-witch in the private clinic was polite and walked him through a fairly simple process. Not even fifteen minutes later he was staring at the mirror with a strange fascination. The bump in his nose was gone, the feature was still prominent on his face that would not change. But where his father broke it was gone as if it never existed. If he turned his head a certain way he looked so much like his mother that his chest hurt. Narcissa said nothing but gave him a sweet smile.

Severus stood in front of a full length mirror, staring at his reflection for the umpteenth time this afternoon. He sighed heavily and wondered how shopping, of all the things, could tire him. Hearing Narcissa call out to him from behind the velvet curtain he swept his black hair up into a silk ribbon. With a swoosh of the curtain he stared at her blandly, his patience wore thin. The wardrobe assistant tutted and went to adjust the trousers and bits of hemming equipment floated about him.

“You look so tall in this cut, Severus. I’m glad we went with this route, Arlo. See this is why I come here.”

“I live to serve your needs, Ms.Black,” he quipped while he pinned at the bottom of Severus’ trousers. Pulling back, Arlo nodded to himself and marked, Severus assumed, his measurements. “Well, I’m assuming you would like this set?”

Her blonde head bobbed, as her pale hands flicked through rolls of fabrics. “This set, and two others. Standard Hogwarts fair with extension charms, and a set of formal robes. Oh, do you have anything for potioneers?” A nod from Arlo. “Throw that in as well. No rush on these.” With a quick Tempus, she strode towards the desk and plopped a small pouch that jangled as it hit the warm polished wood. “Now Severus, change quickly. We have one more stop.”

Severus wasn’t sure he was able to hide his grimace at the blase way she was tossing money about. With a huff he pulled the curtain closed and put his day robes on. Rolling his eyes, he knew fighting Narcissa would be pointless. Thinking back to the heated discussion they had earlier in the bookshop. These people spend money like they breathe. Why should he argue anyway, his own things were so meager and sad, he knew. Everyone at Hogwarts made sure to tell him he was a poor, pathetic, ugly git. Severus banished the memories. Pointless getting himself riled up.

He handed over the garments to Arlo who gave him a small smile. “Your figure is made for long coats and tighter trousers to elongate your legs,” the man said with a nod of his bald head, his eyes flicking over Severus’ body. Severus barely contained the twitch at the comment. “Don’t hunch, when holding your shoulders back it makes your neck look long.” Regulus’ comment came floating back up, well he wasn’t wrong Severus had to admit. He made some sort of noise, as Narcissa’s laugh cut in and dragged him into yet another shop.

With a weary glance, he realized where he was. This was too good to be true. The apothecary was nearly empty in the early evening hush. Mr.Chilton Pennberry stood behind the heavy oak counter scribbling into a ledger, as two other customers milled about the stocked shelves of jars and bins of ingredients. Mr. Pennberry didn’t even bother with a glance up as they came in. Maybe his hearing is finally gone, Severus mused to himself. He hadn’t been able to stop by before the school year and Pippin’s Potions in Hogsmeade was still out of his budget during the school year even with the tutoring sessions he did.

“Pick up whatever you need for your brewing sessions and research, I’m going to collect some things. Here are some galleons, take your time. I’ll be at that shop across the way, come to me when you’re done.” A heavy velvet bag was placed into his hands, and the bell on the door jingled on Narcissa’s way out.

He took a deep breath and finally let the familiar smells of the shop take over. A moment of serenity overcame him, he was finally in a place of comfort.. Pulling a piece of parchment from his robes, Severus made his way down the cramped aisles and carefully examined the bottles. He regarded them with an intensity that many didn’t understand. Even Avery didn’t understand his deep fascination with the potion’s field, more interested in runes and ancient texts, which were riveting in their own right. Rosier and Mulciber just sneered at both of them, academics not their strong suit, the big dunderheads. Those two were more suited on a broom knocking other idiots out of the sky during Quidditch. Though they were quick witted just not in this way, it would be in bad taste to forget that.

Various bottles, jars, and satchels were held carefully in his hands. Bony fingers stretched to accommodate everything he needed, well he was missing a few things but maybe he could ask Lucius if he could owl order some more of the rare ingredients. Severus gently put down the potion ingredients on the counter and cleared his throat. With a slow blink, Mr. Penberry looked up from his ledger. Severus squinted at it but couldn’t make out the scrawl that filled the lines.

“Ah, Mr. Snape, hello,” Mr. Penberry croaked out and started to pack the items, “What an interesting selection.” He raised a white bushy brow. The boy raised one back, and the older wizard laughed. “Not my business what you make, just don’t blow yourself up. I’ve grown fond of you.” He wrapped the jars in paper and held out a box stuffed with shredded news clippings from the Daily Prophet. “15 Galleons.”

Severus did some math, he was getting overcharged for something. He wanted to haggle to lower the price, he smirked. “I’ve come into some money Mr. Pennberry, so you’ll be seeing more of me and I don’t plan on blowing myself up, thanks.” He drawled a bit, his voice lowering. “I think it best to be 12 galleons and I’ll stop by to see if you have any of these,” he slid the parchment and coin over, “in stock when I come by before the holidays are over.” He watched as light brown eyes flicked from parchment, coins, and finally to Severus’s face.

A slow smile showed many wrinkles on the man’s face and made a small bow, “Of course, my mistake. 12 galleons, and I’ll send an owl post to you if I can get these in.” Severus left with a smile on his face as he carried his box out, thinking about the shocked face when he told the man to send any letters to Malfoy Manor.

He started down the street, weaving through witches and wizards laden with boxes and bags of their own. The shop Narcissa mentioned was brightly lit but there was no signage he could make out.

“Snape?”

He cursed under his breath, the curious tone that called out to him was none other than Remus Lupin. He whirled to face him, felt the weight of his wand in his hip holster. Lupin stood off to the side holding a cloth sack to his chest. A thick scarf wrapped his shoulders and covered half his face, but did nothing to cover the dark heavy bags under his eyes. The weak winter light of the evening made him look sickly. Severus counted the days in his mind, the full moon was three days ago, no wonder he looked worse than usual. Dark eyes quickly scanned the street.

“It’s just me. James and Sirius are with the Potters,” Lupin added, squinted and looking at him warily. Don’t know why he should, since he wasn’t the one approached. “I almost didn’t recognize you, there’s something different,” Lupin stared at him and Severus stared defiantly back, “erm, sorry for calling out. Just surprised to see you here is all.” The Gryffindor finished lamely.

Severus scoffed, “Thank you for giving me unnecessary information about those idiots. And why would it be a surprise to see me here?” He reigned in his resentment as Lupin hobbled a few steps closer. The other boy’s eyes were creased with some emotion Severus couldn’t understand.

“You looked spooked is all. And I come every year with my da’ and I’ve never seen you,” Lupin finished with a shrug. “Are you here with Lily?”

The dark haired boy glared, “You know I’m not here with Lily. And it’s none of your business whether I’m here or not. Go bother someone else, wolf.” He hissed out the last word, and didn’t miss the hurt that flashed in the bright amber eyes.

“I’m sorry again about what happened, you should know I would never be a part of such a cruel act,” he pleaded. It wasn’t the first time Lupin tried to apologize, and Severus knew it wouldn’t be the last. The entire situation was starting to annoy him that Lupin kept apologizing every time they were alone. After a year of going over those events, it was clearly Black’s fault and his own stupid curiosity that almost got him killed at the end of last year. Well he blamed Dumbledore too but what could he do about that?

“Lupin,” Severus cut him off before another apology could be said, “If I say, I accept your apology. Will you stop?” Amber eyes considered him, the thick wool scarf slipping. Severus could see a fresh scar jagged down his chin. But he got a timid smile in return, Severus gave a small one of his own. Look at that REgulus, he could handle a social situation. Practice pays off. Thankful that this dreadful encounter was over. “Bye, Lupin.”

“Remus.”

“What?”

“Call me, Remus. Could I call you Severus?”

“No.”

“Ah, nevermind. Sorry, must be the holiday spirit. See you at school, Snape.” Severus watched him for a moment and thought back over his notes, this might work.
“Lupin!” Severus called out, and wanted to curse himself but this was an opportunity. “Is there anything that helps you during the, erm, adjustment period?” Choosing words carefully. Amber eyes widened. His mousy brown hair shook as Lupin denied anything could help him, and that he just had to endure. Severus pursed his lips. “Alright. How about a truce, in return you aid me with a potion that I want to challenge? That will have some benefit for your - issue.”

“Snape, I never wanted to fight you.” Severus scoffed. “If I can. I’ll help you however I can.” Lupin was eager to please Severus, the guilt must be a lot. “Can I ask what potion?” He asked while chewing on his chapped lip.

“Wolfsbane,” he clipped out. He watched as the boy’s jaw dropped. “Lupin, I’ve had some time to consider the events that happened, and had a long discussion with the Headmaster. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still mad but I know now it wasn’t you. I won’t feel pity for you but both of us came out worse from that. And let’s say my own situation has gotten better. I need a project and a willing subject. Well?” And it was true, Severus thought about it for a long time. Most of it was seething in anger at the injustice of it all, at how such a dangerous creature could roam the halls with students. How Dumbledore had very little regard for student safety when they weren’t Gryffindors. Even though Severus nearly died, he had to be held accountable. But those ideals changed over the course of time and Severus just became tired of it all. And after intensive research, he found Beleby’s research. Severus played with the idea around in his head and this was an opportunity of a lifetime. And if Lupin was eager, he wasn’t going to stop him.

After receiving an enthusiastic reply, Severus sneered as he watched tears glimmering in the boy’s eyes which stopped when he told him to cut it out. He nearly flinched back as it looked like the other boy might hug him. “Thank you so much, Snape. Even the thought of research on this means a lot and helps me.”

With the promise of correspondence for the rest of break since Severus now had a direct source of information, he watched Lupin hobble up the street with his sturdy cane in one hand, and the satchel of whatever in the other. An older man who Severus assumed to be his father took the bag from Lupin, not before giving a look to Snape, who lifted his chin in acknowledgment.

Severus turned on his heel and stepped back into the dim apothecary with his mental list. “Back so soon?” Mr. Penberry asked with a smile.

“Can I borrow a quill and some parchment? I have a new list for you that I need sooner the better,” Severus said in greeting. Mr. Penberry’s brow furrowed as he read the list but agreed to have it sent to the Manor for him.

Narcissa sat waiting for him at a small table sipping tea chatting to a witch Severus thought looked vaguely familiar, a former student perhaps. “There you are,” she greeted him with a smile and stood from the table as he awkwardly loomed over the two of them. “Thank you again, and I’ll be seeing you at the ball.” The other witch returned the sentiments and disappeared behind a beaded curtain at the back of the little tea shop. “Come on, let’s go. I can’t wait to show Lucius everything we’ve bought today. Hold on to my arm, I’ll just aparates us. I don’t really like the floo. Messes up the hair.”

Chapter Text

While they waited for Lucius to come back, Severus and Narcissa warmed up with some tea. He listened to her talk about her plans about the Yule ball and how exciting living here has been. Severus was reminded of her sisters and they talked a bit about Regulus as well. He wondered what it was like to have such a large family. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what having a sibling was like. The closest might’ve been Lily or even some of the other Slytherins but it didn’t seem the same. He took a sip of tea and sighed, leaning back into the couch.

Narcissa beckoned him over and gave him a guilty smile. He arched a brow at her. “I’ve been wanting to do this since earlier, could I braid your hair?”

“Braid it?” Instinctively he touched his freshly trimmed and washed hair. “Wouldn’t it look odd on me?”

“Not at all, come here. Sit there.” She accio’d a cushion in front of the settee. “Lean back, don’t tense up. I won’t hurt you. Your hair is lovely, when I was younger I was always jealous of my sisters’ hair.”

Severus didn’t know the Black sisters well since they were much older, but he parsed enough from various circles. It was odd to hear someone like Narcissa who would be left wanting. 

“I know we weren’t that close at Hogwarts but I know Lucius cares for you deeply. Then and now. Like a younger sibling.” Severus froze, could she know Legilimency? But there was some merit in that thought, your house was your family at Hogwarts. “I often heard stories about you and those Gryffindors getting into trouble. The reason for our outing this afternoon was for your benefit Severus. I know you know you’re so intelligent but I hate it that you put yourself down so much.” She paused. “And I know that there are things you can’t talk to me about but you aren’t any different than the boy you were before today. You’re just a better version of yourself, and if you have money or status or looks to match your brain then that is what you deserve.” 

Severus was stunned. He blinked quickly, his eyes burned a bit and tried to think of an appropriate response. “Thank you Narcissa.” Is what he managed.

“You’re welcome, I can’t wait to see what you can accomplish. And if you need anything at all, just ask and I’ll help you in any way that I can. Though I must say I’m excited to see whose heart you’re going to break at the ball.” She finished with a tinkling laugh showing off his glossy loose braid. Severus sputtered.

Dinner was as formal as it was the first night Severus spent in the manor. Plates and trays of meat, vegetables and bread appeared on the table with house elves moving about to clean or replace empty dishes. After, they retired into another sitting room but this one had large windows that faced the east gardens, piles of snow now blanketed the grounds from the earlier storm. A dull gray light filtered in between gauzy drapes. “Ah, Mr. Snape. There you are,” Lord Abraxas Malfoy walked in. He nodded to Lucius and Narcissa who were seated at a desk reviewing documents for Godric knows what. “May I borrow him?” Severus knew the question was a formality and not really a request. He got up from the chair he was reading in and followed the elder Malfoy out. 

Abraxas Malfoy was a man of few words. He only said what needed to be said, no flowery speech that Lucius seemed to have. Severus appreciated the quiet, though still fearing him a little. The Lord towered above Severus in height but also in aura, the man may be older than Severus’ parents but he looked as regal and refined as a young wizard. The sheer power this man had alone could shift ideals and feuds with a wave of his hand. He changed Severus’ life course and he will never forget that.

The pair headed down stairs into a portion of the manor Severus had never been to before. Granted he never bothered with exploring the expansive building nor the grounds. Lord Malfoy stopped in front of a heavy oak door and tapped his wand against it. They walked into a dim room, Severus squinted at the dark interior. Marble floors were gone and replaced with smooth even stone. With a quick flick of his wand, Lord Malfoy lit several sconces and thin cathedral like windows had their oppressive drapes drawn back. 

Four brewing stations were set up in two rows, a glass cabinet spanning the left wall filled with vials, and on the opposite wall a chalkboard and parchment roll hung blank. Severus made sure that his jaw was closed as he ran his finger tips on the edge of the new cauldron. He snapped his eyes to Lord Malfoy who stood by the windows, a small smile on his face - one Severus recognized that Lucius wore when he was satisfied by something. “Well? Is the room adequate for a Potions Master?”

“That and more, all the equipment is of high quality, and all brewing safety and standards have been accounted for. Any potioneer would be jealous of a lab like this.” He said, still in a state of awe.

“Good, that’s what I like to hear. Then if there’s anything else you need let any of us know and we will acquire it for you.” 

Severus whirled around to face the Lord, eyes wide. “S-sir, you can’t mean this entire room is for me?” 

“Of course! You need a place to study and practice, books can only get you so far. Lucius spoke highly of you and since you are being sponsored by our family we would like to see the results of that Slytherin determination and cunning.” Lord Malfoy said with a firm tone, but it was kind. “Know this, the door is warded and protection spells are embedded into the walls. We don’t want any mishaps but exploration I understand risks may always happen.” 

Standing to his full height, he bowed at the waist. “Thank you sir, I’m sure you know how much this means to me but let me reiterate again. I am deeply grateful for the opportunity and I will make the Malfoy name proud.”

He felt a hand on his shoulder, “Stand. We expect much of you, you are one us now. I look forward to what you can achieve, Severus.” With a nod he swept out of the room leaving Severus alone in the lab. Spinning in a slow circle, his heart swelled and he sat on a stool. This was his life now, and he’s going to make the most of it.

Severus spent some time organizing, cataloging and prepping for some of the potions he wanted to work on. The house elves brought in the ingredients he bought earlier. Well into the night a knock came and Lucius stepped in. His dinner robes swapped for something more casual. 

“There you are, I see father finally showed you this. I wanted to but he wanted to do the honors. He was quite insistent. I’m glad you’re settling in,” Lucius paused taking a look about the lab with a smile, “but unfortunately I will have to take you away from here. Cissa wants you back, she mentioned something about clothes.” Severus could barely suppress the groan as Lucius steered him out of the potion lab and back to more wardrobe changes. This day was just too long.

He stepped out of his bathroom, refusing the urge to smooth this set of robes. The midnight blue formal robes turned a deep teal in the fire light. Mr.Arlo was a craftsman that’s for sure to have this done already or maybe it was the money talking that got him working fast. Pin pricks of silver thread shone as if constellations were winking in the night sky. Severus’ jet black hair was pulled higher onto his head than he would usually do on his own by a silver edged black ribbon. The person in the reflection looked regal. With a sigh he stepped out and into his bedroom. Narcissa sat in a plush chair with Lucius perched on the arm beside her. A pot of tea hovered on a tray next to them.

“Doesn’t he just look splendid?” Narcissa smiled and gestured with her hand. Severus was sure the word ‘splendid’ and himself have never been in the same sentence. He spun slowly, only rolling his eyes when his back was to the bothersome couple. “It was between this or the plum, but Severus was throwing such a fuss over a couple of robes. Should have heard him mumbling about colors! He thought I didn’t hear him.” A couple of robes that cost more than anything he has ever owned in life combined.

“You look handsome, Severus. You did well my dear the color does suit him. And you should wear other colors besides black sometimes, it really does wash you out. Maybe introduce green or gray.”

Narcissa told him to change into the other robes, and this went on for some time or at least it felt like it. Severus had to credit Lucius though, the man did look to be engaged in this fashion show. He only yawned once, Severus felt dead on his feet. This morning’s dance lesson, afternoon’s shopping trip, and night in his own potion’s lab seem so long ago between the endless amount of robes.

He stepped back into the bathroom and grabbed the, thankfully, last set of new robes. It was what Narcissa chose for him to wear to the ball, and the cut was a little unconventional to say the least. If he was being honest it looked like muggle royalty influence in the styling of it. No matter what Lucius said, he liked wearing black and this almost silky black fabric already seemed too luxurious for him. But if anything, Severus was learning to accept what was given since he was going to be studying and pursuing more research for them. 

Carefully hanging his emerald green robes, he slipped into the hemmed black trousers and buttoned up the shirt. Silver and green threads made pin stripes on his vest that cinched his waist. Finishing it off with the thicker silky caplet robe that hung to the back of his mid thigh, a silver chain from his left shoulder hung across his chest connecting down to his waist to allow the caplet to clasp closed. He would finish the look with his black dragonhide shoes but those were in his wardrobe. 

He adjusted his posture in the mirror, moved his black hair to come over one shoulder and smirked, he looked like a true pureblood prat. This was someone he would’ve been envious of, but not anymore. Severus hasn’t longed for nice clothes and better looks, not in a long time. He’s had to live so frugally that all of it seemed like an unnecessary expense. Though that’s not his reality anymore. His long hair sat soft and smooth, cascading lightly over his shoulder and neck. The dark black hair shone in the bathroom mirror, for a brief moment it reminded him of his mother’s hair after she would brush it out as a child. He scoffed at his reflection and shook his head, he was right though that many of his problems could just be fixed with money. Sighing he straightened to his full height and stepped back into his bedroom.

Lucius and Narcissa weren’t alone though, Lord Malfoy stood in the doorway. Severus paused in the threshold and saw Lucius’ eyes crease in concern, but whatever hushed conversation they were having stopped when Narcissa saw him. “Oh, look at you.” She cooed. “Like a proper Slytherin prince, maybe you will break some hearts at the ball with how lovely you look.” Severus could feel the heat creep up his neck and his ears got hot, embarrassment only worsened when Lord Malfoy regarded him.

“A striking young man with talent can get you very far in life,” he said, Lucius smiled at his father, clearly agreeing. And he knew that he was talking about his own family’s beauty and brains. “Well I’ll be off, I’m at the Ministry tomorrow, don't expect me back until the following day. Goodnight.” Everyone replied in kind and the door shut. 

“He’s right, Severus. You have everything you need now, and if you don’t we’ll acquire it for you so you can have all the tools to succeed.”

“Thank you, Lucius. And you as well Narcissa,” he said as heartfelt as he could.

“I saw your talent and skill while at Hogwarts but I know you can exceed them. There are no boundaries here. I’ll be honest with you, no one took you seriously because you were poor and had a terrible attitude. Don’t make that face. Now backed by us, no one can touch you without attacking the Malfoy name.” Severus swallowed, and moved forward when beckoned by Narcissa. He stood in front of his benefactors, a beautiful couple of wealth and poise - everything they were training him to be. “Which is why,” Lucius continued, “we want you to wear this.” Pulling on the strings of a velvet bag, a small jewelry box tipped out. 

Popping it open between his fingers, it reminded Severus of the ring he’s seen on both Lucius and Lord Malfoy’s hand, and even some of the other students have worn these. A family ring. The Malfoy signet family ring, but different, smaller and thinner. This is the claim they will put on him. The band was simple silver with a small snake that wrapped its body around a stylized M, the symbols completely intertwined. Sliding it onto his ring finger, the metal was cool and smooth. He refused to fidget with it, but brought his eyes to Lucius’ gray ones and was taken aback by the sincerity and kindness he saw.

“You are like a brother to me, Severus. And my father wouldn't just bring in anyone to the family just at my say so. I want you to feel comfortable here and that ,” he gestured to the ring, “is a symbol to show you belong here. You are not alone. Not anymore.” He smiled and Narcissa leaned into him. They both smiled at him, Severus swallowed thickly. He whispered out a thank you. “Now that that is done, I do have to say you do look very striking in those robes. A prince of the night.” Narcissa laughed and Severus smirked, and thought to himself, a Prince indeed.

The next morning Severus stared at himself in the mirror, maybe it was the exhaustion or just yesterday overall, or he didn’t quite take it all in yet. The boy in the mirror looked like him but not. He was still too pale and skinny, hair still black but now silky and were in soft waves behind his shoulders, his aquiline nose was pronounced but sat straight on his face. No evidence of his father’s wrath anymore. Giving a tentative smile showed off his teeth. It looked like a healthy twin. How strange, no matter how Severus tilted his head or squinted at himself the image didn’t change. He straightened up and grinned, mimicking Lucius. Well, it was perhaps the first time in life he didn’t hate what he saw. He still wasn’t traditionally handsome in any way but he was no longer the ‘greasy poor git.’ His chest swelled in appreciation for his luck and his friends. 

He was going to make a name for himself and make the Malfoy’s proud. With those thoughts, Severus finished getting ready and set to start his day properly. Tying his hair back, he made his way downstairs. 

Later, Severus sat in the library and penned out a few letters, he tapped the quill to his chin and rolled up the scrolls. He considered writing a letter to his mother but decided against it. After sending the owls off, he headed straight down to the potions lab and spread his notes out. Chalk in hand, he got to work. Formulas and measurements filled the boards and parchment in the swooping scrawl. His hair was now tied up in a bun at the top of his head away from the fumes, some loose strands fell around his face but he brushed them away. Potion books and research pamphlets strewn across different work spaces. The picture of organized chaos. Severus was completely in his element.

A sharp pop made him jump. Looking up from his notes, a house elf he’s never seen before stood in the middle of the lab. “Sir is being summoned to the dining room in half past the hour. Young Master Malfoy has made a request for a change of attire.” 

“Alright. Tell Lucius I’ll be there in a bit. Do we have company?” The little elf shook its head and disapparated with another pop. 

Severus tilted his head back and he felt his neck pop, maybe he should brew a muscle relaxant later. What he really wanted was to light one up, but he didn’t dare to do it in the lab and the gardens were too cold. He wondered if the windows in his room could open. His shoulders felt stiff and his hand still hurt from cramping from all the stirring he’s been doing. He shuffled some parchment together, his hand pausing over the most recent publication of potion breakthroughs. Wolfsbane. If he wanted to make a name for himself it was a good place to start, and he had a willing test subject. Smirking to himself, Lupin is really making himself useful. Jotting down moon phases on the chalkboard and a quick stasis charm on his cauldron, he closed the lab door.

“I meant to mention that your table manners are no longer appalling,” Lucius said with a smirk.

“Your gratitude should go towards Narcissa and Regulus, since they have the utmost patience,” Severus sniped back to Lucius. He cut the meat into a neat square. Narcissa just laughed in her usual manner.

“You were so good at everything else, I was honestly shocked at the way you used to eat! It was appalling to say the least. A bonus is seeing you not look like a starved bird, shame it isn’t summer to add a bit of color on you. Day trips to the seaside would’ve done you some good.” It was like having an adopted set of parents the way they harassed him about eating habits, sleeping times, and studying. He knew they meant well but it was bothersome. At home, his own parents barely acknowledge him and that was the better times.

Severus hid the frown behind his cup. “Now Lucius, can’t you just give him a compliment without insulting poor Sev,” Narcissa reprimanded. That’s another thing that cropped up, the two of them giving him this ridiculous nickname, ‘Sev’ though it was loads better than Snivellous but still he has a full name. Why can no one use it? He’s seen Lucius give a pet name to nearly everyone he was on friendly terms with, some worse than others. Biting back a sigh he took another spoonful of soup and let the conversation wash over him. “And Sev, I’m running out of time to give you more dance lessons since I have some Yule events to attend. Lucius has some free evenings so he should be able, right darling?” Lucuis' blond head bobbed up and down obediently, a wicked smile on his face when Narcissa turned away. Severus was not looking forward to that, at all.

Dance lessons with Lucius weren't as demanding as they were with Narcissa but somehow were more embarrassing. Though Lucius used the time to talk about Hogwarts, his dormmates and his progress on certain projects. Exhausted but Severus felt good, his potion notes were coming along and some ingredients he was missing were delivered after dinner. Walking into his bedroom, when he decided to really call it his, he didn't know but this place has become ‘home’ in the last few days. With a flick of his wand, hot water filled into the tub. Sighing, he slipped off his robes and threw them on the chair. It was truly astonishing how fast house elves worked. His clothes were always laundered and hung by morning. 

The bath was steaming and smelled of bath herbal salts. He sunk into the water and groaned, he was getting spoiled with the bath. Going back to Hogwarts showers doesn’t sound appealing at all. The custom hair and skin tonic that Narcissa gifted him was already working wonders. His pale skin was smooth and most scars were just faint pink lines now. Getting out of the bath, he stood in front of the steamed up mirror. His face filled out a bit, that a combination of constant food and nutrition potions. Alone in the bathroom, he finally smiled fully - this is what being happy is like.

Chapter Text

For the next couple of days, Severus’ life was filled with more dance lessons, potion experimentation, spell creation, and more research. The break was passing by in a blur like it never had before. He felt alive, thrumming with the ability to cast and create.

Slouching in the hot scented bath, he let his hair float around him like spilled ink. He twirled a pale finger in the silky threads and wondered if he bothered to get it cut before the ball. Nearly laughing out loud at the vain thought, who would've thought he started to care about how he looks but now it’s not just himself - he represents this family. Lucius has done so much for him, Narcissa too. He dunked underneath the bubbles and came up for air determined to make them proud with more than just his brains.

His finest robes hung in the closet pressed and smelled faintly herbal. It reminded him of the Forbidden Forest after a heavy rain. His new black boots caught the light with polish that the house elves must’ve done. Casting a Tempus, he had half an hour before the guests were to start arriving. Sighing he got to work, putting on the outfit like armor - piece by piece. After tying ribbons, and slipping buttons he stood in front of the mirror tugging on the vest. Merlin, he knew he was thin but this gave him a bit of a shape. It also helped that he’s gained some weight from eating three meals a day during the break instead of sneaking food like before. Even that thought warmed him.

Taking the dark green ribbon, deft fingers pulled at his hair. His silver chain hung across his body glinting where it hung to connect the silky caplet that rippled behind as he moved toward the door. A final glance to the mirror - he was striking, Severus thought to himself squinting at this new reflection. Black trousers snug and loose in all the right places, his soft silk blended shirt tucked in under the vest, layered with the caplet. There he was - the half-blood prince. He left his rooms, smirking all the way to the ballroom. New found confidence in every step.

Women in their finest dresses in a range of styles and colors looked like tree ornaments against the sparkling white of the gardens. Men in finer robes than Severus could ever remember seeing, let alone afford to look at before milled about in conversation. Everything was polite and almost seemed scripted in how they interacted with each other. He nodded at passersby as he cut through the growing attendees.

Carriage after apparition just seemed to add to the growing crowd in the massive ballroom. Narcissa really outdid herself. It looked as if it was straight out of a fairytale novel or holiday movie, all glimmering charmed decorations, holly and fern bundled together in doorways and curtains, enormous Fir trees lined a wall charmed with non melting snow. Opposite of it was a wall of windows that led to a balcony giving the guests a view of the winter landscape. On the far side, was the band already playing light cheery music.

Spotting him Narcissa called him over, she was stunning in her silver robes. With the blonde of her hair and pale complexion she stood looking like a goddess. She held a flute of some bubbling drink and was surrounded by a sizable group of various ages. As Severus approached, he could feel all their eyes on him. She smiled widely and squeezed his arm. For comfort he supposed. “This is Severus Snape, he recently joined the Mafloy family. He’s Lord Abarxas’ sponsored.” Some of the young girls, around his own age and maybe a little older than Narcissa were giving him appreciative looks. Clearly sizing him up, since Lucius is taken he was fresh meat. He swallowed hard, uncomfortable by all the positive attention. There were some boys too who were watching him now he noticed.

“Lovely to meet you all, hope to make your acquaintance ” he finished with a soft smile. Severus thinks some of them actually cooed at him.

Smirking, Narcissa looked around the group. “And he’s completely eligible.” There it was. Severus couldn’t control his face, the smile fell and his eyes widened in panic. He felt his cheeks burn.

“He’s absolutely stunning,” an older woman said, “I have a cousin about your age. She’s a lovely girl, studying mythical creatures in India.” Severus nodded, not sure what expression he should be making when another person cut in.

A soft posh voice from his right. “Delia Feathervein, nice to meet you, Mr. Snape.” She had straight auburn hair and wore elegant dark purple robes trimmed in silver. He responded in kind. “If you could save a dance for me.” Her bright hazel eyes wouldn’t leave his and he acknowledged that he would. After that it was like a dam broke, offers of dances and chats didn’t stop. Pretty young women asked for dances and some of the more forward men did as well. Some were bold enough to also ask to exchange letters.

He found some came from Dumstrang, Ilvermorny, and Beauxbaton. Accents and gestures that were new, fascinated him. Conversation with the international students proved to be far more interesting than he would’ve thought. Learning style and even what they were being taught differed. Severus looked at one of the Dumstrang boys, Karl Braunston. He stood easily a head taller than himself, dark cropped hair on the sides with the top ruffled, dark brown eyes and a dimple on his left cheek with a strong jaw.

He wasn’t surprised to find out Mr.Braunston also played Quidditch but there was intelligence in his speech that Severus thought lacked at Hogwarts or maybe he was being biased. The two talked for a bit about studies and their differences between the two schools - curriculum, weather, and teachers. Severus laughed when Braunston said he would fit right in with his complexion but might die due to the cold. He said it with a smile so warm Severus had to look away. They were soon joined by a couple of others but Braunston felt like such a solid presence next to him. Severus tried to focus on what one of the girls was saying, Ms.Archambeau, she was also very beautiful and all willowy. Severus found himself feeling like the odd one out, but did not say anything. Though he received only compliments about his looks and his studies when sharing their interests.

Severus felt an ache in his chest, could he have had this if his life was just a bit better? Have wizard friends if his mother did something different? Be treated as an equal and not someone lesser because of money or blood status? With a vague excuse, he parted from the group and wandered a bit. He wanted to leave the party already and it only just started.

He made his way through the room finally spotting Avery and Mulciber both holding a drink already close to the windows. Fake snow glittered above them.

“Damn, Snape, why don’t you clean up nice,” Mulciber said with a leer. “I can see Lucius has been treating you very well.” Severus rolled his eyes. Whereas Avery greeted him quietly. Both looked quite dashing in their finest robes. “Thought you were going to ditch us for your new friends.”

“I’d say they’re more polite company. Though the bar is not high.” Mulciber laughed. “I’ll be forever grateful for these past two weeks. And I’ll take the compliment, thank you Mulciber,” He sneered then casted his eyes about. “Did Rosier or Wilkes come too?” He glanced about but didn’t see them.

Avery butt in before Mulciber could say something else, “No, haven’t heard from them all break but I got your owl and I'm having some books brought with me so you can review them. I brought one with me tonight, it’s shrunk in my pocket but remind me to give it to you later.”

“I appreciate it, there’s still so much to learn. If there’s anything you need, let me know.”

“You nerds I swear. I’m going to get another drink and talk to more entertaining people. The girls you were talking to were very pretty.” Avery and Severus watched as Mulciber wandered over to chat them up, poor things.

Avery stood closer to his side. “I’m not going to pry if you don’t want to answer, but why do you want to know about Pureblood courting rituals and customs? Don’t you know them already? You never had interest before.” The unspoken question lingering.

Severus shook his head causing his hair to swing off his shoulder, “Not all of them, and since Lucius is getting married. I’ve been talking to Narcissa about gift giving customs and I would hate to make a fool of myself since I’m under the Malfoy house now.” The signet ring sitting heavy on his finger. Avery eyebrow ticked up as his eye caught the little piece of jewelry but he smiled.

“I’m glad they’re treating you well, you look fantastic and I don’t mean just the clothes.” He placed a hand on his arm and Severus willed himself not to blush. “It’s hard in our house knowing not all of us come from such privilege.” He said it without bitterness, but as a fact. Severus always wondered what kind of home life the other boy had as he watched the dancers swirl across the floor. “Shit. Don’t panic Severus but Black is here.”

Head swiveling, he saw them. One couldn’t really miss them though. Now he could admit to himself Sirius and Regulus Black were the textbook image of attractive purebloods. All dark hair, refined features and haughty attitude packaged up with custom cut robes. He could tell that many young women’s eyes were eyeing the brothers. Lord and Lady Black stood to the side conversing with another family Severus couldn’t quite remember the name of.

The pair watched them as Sirius leaned down to his brother’s ear and Regulus smirked, turning to reply but caught Severus’ eye. Subtly Regulus lifted his chin in their direction which they returned. The two Black brothers continued to talk and milled around to some other people. He knew Regulus would seek him out later, he already dreaded the incessant questions.

“I knew Narcissa is cousins with them so I should’ve figured they were invited, I even owled Regulus as well. I don’t know if his prat brother will try something here.” Severus rubbed at his temple.

“He wouldn’t dare, and I heard Lady Black keeps him on a tight leash already with him being in Gryffindor and hanging out with Muggleborns,” Avery said regarding the other two. Severus repressed a flinch thinking about Lily - but they haven’t hung out in ages since the day at the lake. Even though he apologized and tried so many times to explain, he wasn’t sure if it was ever accepted. Lily was a different problem for later. He pushed the thoughts away.

Sometime into the ball, after he and Avery found some other Slytherins they split off. Severus was engaged in an actually riveting conversation about the success of harvesting plants in different weather cycles with a French researcher when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He was startled a bit when he turned.

“Apologies, Mr. Beckett, I’m going to steal Mr. Snape away from you,” Lucius said with a smile.

“Of course, of course,” the old man agreed easily, “Well if you ever need a reference or have any additional inquiries just owl me, it was a pleasure Mr. Snape.” They shook hands in parting.

“I’m glad to see you talking to people and not hiding in a dark corner. Saw Narcissa corner you earlier with a group of admirers,” Lucius said with a smirk. He was guiding them to Lord Malfoy where he stood among a large group. Lucius leaned down, “Father wants to introduce you to some Ministry officials and very important families thought I’d warn you first. You don’t have to do or say much but act accordingly like I know you will. You’ll be fine.” Before he could even protest they were already at the circle of older wizards. These were the type of men to be feared.

“Ah, thank you Lucius,” Lord Malfoy said, pulling away from the crowd a bit to make room for the two boys. “This is Severus Snape, our sponsored. A bright young mind in Slytherin.” Severus did his greetings and very quickly noticed that Lord Black was in the group. The pressure from this was vastly different from Narcissa’s, this was pure judgment. He was being raked over. “He is under our house now and under our care.” Sharp eyes raked him over - his clothes, his looks, his demeanor, and the ring. Polite smiles and fake platitudes filled the conversation. After a grueling half an hour of mindless pleasantries, placid compliments and inane questions, he was free.

He danced with Narcissa and a few other young women from earlier with relative ease, only stepping on one poor girl's foot. Many of them complimented him endlessly and he could only smile and attempt to return their attentions. Severus felt wrung out. He wasn’t used to dealing with such crowds, much less participating. Cradling a sparkling drink, he stood back near the windows watching the crowd as he cooled down.

Sirius stood stiffly next to his mother, even the two glasses of champagne weren't helping. His mothers hissed threats still lingered in his thoughts as he caught sight of a dark figure cutting through the crowd. He refused to gape but it was a close thing. Lady Parkinson chose that moment to approach and he found his opportunity to slip away after greeting her. He ignored the glare his mother was surely giving him and Regulus’ inquiring noise. Now relaxed being further from his mother he picked up another glass, swallowing it in one go.

The owl from home a couple days prior completely ruined his holiday. The immediate request for him to come back to Grimmauld and attend this stupid ball made him want to lash out even more. He was honestly surprised his mother requested him, maybe she was still trying to save face. Who knows? The dress robes were his choice, his only choice in the matter. Sirius knew he looked good and gave a wolfish grin to any girl that caught his eye.

Moving through the crowd of party goers, he nodded to some but ignored most. This was a pit of snakes and many people knew of his ‘rotten’ reputation. Taking a quick dance with two girls he recognized, he eyed the room and found the person he was looking for.

Snape looked strange, that was the first thought Sirius had. It looked like Snivellus and yet at the same time it didn’t. The git stood with his back ramrod straight, holding onto his drink like a lifeline. The cut of his robes was something he couldn’t imagine anyone else here wearing. For starters his robe, or cape, only went to about his thighs. Long thin legs were in fitted dark trousers and the white puffed shirt sleeves only accentuated his small waist. Sirius could easily think of a couple of girls who would be jealous of such a figure.

But what may have thrown Sirius the most was the clear view of his face. Pale skin, a slight frown and his dark hair like black silk was pulled back on his head to form a soft ponytail. His neck was pale as milk and long before disappearing into his collar. He wouldn’t dare admit but he looked alright. He wouldn’t dare go beyond anything like that but he couldn’t help feel the flutter in his stomach when Snape turned and pin pricks of what looked like starlight glittered on his outfit. Sirius watched him a little longer and started getting annoyed. He felt irritation bubble up within, not knowing why. Walking by a staff member, he picked up another drink and made his way over. Smirk already in place.

Chapter Text

“Well, well, well. Snivelly, I couldn’t believe it when Reggie told me you became Malfoy’s pet project,” Black drawled swaggering up beside him holding a drink of his own. Severus hid a sneer, refusing the urge to curl in on himself, while taking a sip. To Severus’ dismay Black did look good even up close, the bastard, in fitted robes with his wavy hair curling around his shoulders and his Quidditach tan still there despite the winter weather.

“Happy Yule, Mr.Black,” he greeted with utmost blandness. “I was surprised to see you though considering I thought you were physically attached to Potter,” Severus replied with a slight smile and every ounce of politeness that Narcissa beat, metaphorically, into him. Black barked a sharp laugh, there was no kindness behind the sound. Severus was proud he didn’t flinch. He felt the tenseness in his back and shoulders, though the weight of his wand in its holster comforted him a bit.

The other boy leaned in, his dark wavy hair brushed against Severus’ shoulder and he was reminded of the height and build difference between the two of them. He caught a whiff of earthy soap and whatever alcoholic beverage he had. Severus gripped his own glass stem a little tighter, he refused to give an inch.

“I’m not that much of an idiot to try something here Snape, don’t worry. Not with my lovely mother watching my moves like a bloody starving hippogriff. And I’ll have you know this event wasn’t a choice for me. I wouldn’t be caught dead at a place like this if I had a choice. Though seeing you dolled up like a peacock was a bonus.” Black laughed again, his stormy eyes raking over Severus’ body in an excessive move. The dancers and partygoers continued in a display of swirling robes oblivious to their discussion. “Wait, did you do something to your face?” He asked rather rudely. Dark grey blue eyes squinted at him.

Severus ignored the question despite doing something to his face. He felt his eye twitch and breathed deeply through his nose. “Thank you, Narcissa chose my robes. I can see that you still had a need for your usual unnecessary flair.” Gesturing at Black’s gaudy maroon and gold robes, he looked like a cross between one of those pirate novel characters he would not admit reading, and knock off wannabe royalty. But the Black family fortune and influence was nothing to sneeze at, they were pretty much Pureblood royalty. Black pulled it off somehow, maybe it’s all confidence or maybe arrogance was closer. “Parading around like a Gryffindor, very you.”

Black gave him a wide grin, “Why thank you Snape, I believe that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever-”

“Severus, there you are. Sirius? What are you doing over here?” Regulus swept up to them a bit out of breath. His own soft dark curls styled about his cheeks and just touching the nape of his neck, robes a deep blue in a cut that was a little more classic. The older Black brother moved away from him and towards Regulus, swinging an arm around thin shoulders jostling him. “You weren’t bothering him were you Siri? I told you we’re friends and leave off.” Regulus continued attempting to get out from under his brother's arm.

Severus wanted to put his face in his hands, great his very own boy savior. “Me? I would never,” Black put a hand over his chest in exaggerated insult, “we were getting along just fine, weren’t we Snape?” He inclined his head but said nothing.

Regulus looked between the two of them with mistrust clear in his eyes, “Well, I came over to tell you father wanted to introduce you to some Selwyn girl. And I wanted to talk to Severus anyway.” He finally stepped out of his brother's hold and grabbed Severus lightly by the elbow away from where his brother watched them. “Sorry about him, he slipped away when I wasn’t looking. He did promise not to make a fuss tonight though. I was surprised hexes weren’t being flung as soon as he got to you.” He ranted as they stood near the entrance, where guests filtering in and out. The cool air felt lovely on his face, calming his nerves a bit.

He finally gave in and let out a long suffering sigh, he wished he could have a cigarette. Feel the nicotine fill his lungs. His nasty habit that he couldn’t quite get rid of especially in times of stress. Maybe he could sneak one later.

“It’s fine Regulus. You shouldn’t have to be your brother’s keeper. And I promised Lucius that I would behave.” He placed his empty drink glass down, it disappeared with a pop. “Your brother is something else though, testing what little patience I have left.” The younger boy nodded, both of them unaware of the grey eyes that still watched them across the ballroom.

“Enough of my brother! Well how about a dance to see if Cissa’s lessons are as brutal as you told me in your letters,” Regulus said with a laugh. His eyes were bright with mischief.

Severus snorted. “You’ve got to be joking.”

The younger boy shook his head, “Not at all, almost everyone here knows we're friends. Come on, I’ll even let you lead.” He finished cheekily.

“Oh, how very kind,” Severus drawled to hide his apprehension. But before he could decide, Regulus grabbed his arm and led him to the edge of the dancefloor. “Regulus!” He hissed, though he automatically put his hands in position on pure instinct alone from hours of practice. Dancing with the girls earlier was required, a pretense. To dance with Regulus Black was something else altogether.

“Relax, oh look at Siri’s face! And there’s Lucius, make sure you smile. Don’t look so unhappy. Anyway, don’t think I didn’t notice that ring on your finger.” Severus could feel the warm weight of the Malfoy ring. “Are you happier here?” He asked with a smile. Even with his chatter, his moves were as graceful as ever. His gray eyes looked up at him from a pale face that was slightly flushed, though there wasn’t much of a height difference between the two.

It was always wise to never underestimate Regulus Black, though he may not stand out like his brash older brother, he was just as smart and twice as cunning. The amount of black mail he held over some of the students at Hogwarts could be counted as alarming.

He counted another step and turned with the others. “I am happy, that is. This is the best Yule I’ve had. And the Malfoy's have only been kind to me.”

Regulus squeezed his hand in their hold. “Fantastic! Also, your dancing is much better than you mentioned in your letters. I do have to say I was watching you dance with Ms. Feathervein, can’t believe you stepped on her toe twice! I know I wasn't the only one who winced.”

“Shut up,” Severus hissed. “Or I’ll make a point to step on your toes.” After that comment, Severus turned into a rather aggressive twirl but Regulus just laughed with his wair bouncing. Severus allowed a smile and continued the dance.

Lucius proposed towards the end of the evening in a grand gesture of peacocks and rose petals conjured to float down in a series of dances that must’ve been quite a lot of work. It was a very impressive display. Narcissa agreed of course, looking even more radiant in her silver gown and robes. It was quite a passionate display of love, Severus clapped along with the rest of the guests, a small smile on his lips.

Did Lucius charm the petals? The white rose petals swirled like snow delighting the onlookers. The couple's golden heads stood bright in the center of the crowd that were offering their congratulations. Severus hung back knowing he would be seeing them later.

Regulus left him for some of the younger year Slytherins that were also attending. Avery left early and Mulciber was
Merlin-knows-where, probably drunk or chatting up any poor girl that glances at him. He took a breath and let his mind finally relax.

Severus sipped on his water and wandered out to the frigid balcony but it felt like a balm on his overly warm skin. The warming charms in the ballroom combined with the press of bodies made sweat bead down his back and forehead. His breath came out in short white puffs in front of his face. He slicked some of the stray stands back. The light from inside illuminated a bit of the crystalized grounds that stretch beyond.

Taking his wand from his sleeve, he muttered a few words and a thin silver cigarette case popped into his hand. Lighting one with the tip of his wand, he sucked in and blew let the smoke out. Oh, how he missed this.

“Now that’s surprising.” Severus jumped and spun, pointing his wand at the voice. He choked a bit on the smoke. Black came out of the shadows, hands up, not making any gesture where he would reach for his wand. Didn’t mean he wasn’t up to something though. Severus glared. “Hey, I was just making an observation, no need to get up in arms. And I was out here first. You just didn’t notice,” Black continued, his voice carefree. He came closer to lean on the marble railing near where Severus was standing, gray eyes tracking him. He watched his eyes flicker between his face to the cigarette, quirking a brow.

Lowering the wand, he took another puff. “Well, go back inside then.” When Black didn’t appear to be moving any time soon Severus groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand. “Why are you out here? No girl wants to talk to you? Colour me surprised.”

He didn’t have the energy to deal with the main dunderheaded Gryffindor, being around so many people today was already exhausting. Especially since there was a potion lab calling him that was only minutes away. It would be so quiet and peaceful. Lucius might kill him if he found out he ditched early.

“Honestly?” He ran a hand through his hair. “I got sick of all the bullshit inside and suddenly you were out here smoking Muggle drugs. I’m learning lots of things tonight.” Black’s grin was sharp. At that tone Severus narrowed his eyes, but Black was at ease in the cold air. He took another puff. “Fuck, James isn’t going to believe that we had a civil conversation,” he laughed to himself, “Not a hex or curse thrown. That has to be a record for us.” Did this count as civil conversation if Severus wasn’t talking? “I’m surprised you’re still at the party and you haven’t skulked off to hide in a dark corner.”

Severus debated on not answering but gave in hoping maybe he could get Black to leave. “Do you like the sound of your own voice or just can’t stand to exist in silence?” Severus asked in a scathing tone. He tapped the ash off over the rail and turned to face him. The other boy rolled his eyes.

“I bet you think you’re funny, huh? People like the sound of my voice usually,” towards the end of his sentence Black’s voice dipped low and gravelly.

Startled Severus dropped the cigarette over the rail edge. Both of them watched it tumble and land in the snow. He could feel heat in his cheeks and cursed at the wasted cigarette, and then cursed Black in his mind since it was his fault.

Collecting himself with a breath. “I’m not most people now am I?”

“No you’re not,” Black admitted with another grin. Severus rolled his eyes. “Where did you get those anyway, doubt Malfoy would indulge in such things.”

Severus debated within himself for a second before he realized his status didn’t matter anymore. The silver ring on his finger was more important. He shrugged while he took a drag. “I bought them at the grocer.”

Black frowned at him. “The what?”

Rolling his eyes, “The grocer, it’s a Muggle store for food, sundries and fags.” He looked across the silvery landscape. He glanced at Black. “You still look lost.” He slowed his speech and looked Black fully in the eyes, “I’m a half-blood, Black. That’s why. I shop at Muggle stores. Well I used to at any rate.”

The Gryffindor gawked at him, his handsome face contorted in utter confusion. He would’ve laughed but he was too annoyed. “What? But then why are you like this?” He made a gesture at him causing Severus to frown. Severus opened his mouth to protest but Black continued. “Also, why do you hang around people like Mulciber and Avery then?”

Severus scoffed, “You try being a half-blood in Slytherin and tell me you would last a day flouting that knowledge. My self preservation instincts told me to act like I was one of them. The respect I have now is from my knowledge not my blood.” He could see Black mulling over his words. Poor bastard looked like he was told nifflers could fly. “How do you think I know Lily? And why were friends? I grew up with her. We were essentially neighbors.”

“Merlin, you’re a half-blood?” He whispered. Of course that’s what the lunatic latched onto.

“Obviously. Keep up Black.”

Black came a bit closer, now they were less than a metre apart. “Snape.” He breathed but didn’t continue, just stared at him in confusion. Severus felt frozen to the spot. “I don’t understand you,” he said so plainly that Snape stared at him for a bit.

Severus laughed once, it was a sharp noise. “You never did and you never will. I would say it was nice talking with you but.” And with that, he walked back to the ballroom leaving Black in the cold.

Chapter Text

Sirius watched the glass door swing shut behind Snivellus, the dark thin figure disappeared into the crowd. He shivered a bit and casted a warming charm. A half-blood. Who would've thought that the Dark Arts loving bastard always kissing up to people like the Malfoys wasn’t pure. Not that Sirius cared about such things. There was a reason why he was in Gryffindor. Did anyone else know though? Besides Lily Evans, Sirius didn’t think so. Did the Malfoys know? They must, but took him under anyway judging by the family ring on his finger. What does that mean though? Were the Malfoys more progressive than the Blacks? The thought made him scoff. Wait till James finds out, he’ll lose his mind. 

Knowing Prongs, he’ll be beside himself with jealousy to know that Snape and Evans grew up together. His mood was already improving. Smirking at the thought, Sirius turned back to the stark winter landscape. Shame about the weather, the clouds hid everything from view - the moon and the stars. He wished he was still at the Potter’s but when did he get what he wished. The only good thing to come out of the past two days was spending time with Reggie. 

Oh his precious little brother who still clung to their parents seeking approval. But thinking about Reg brought his mind back to Snivellus. The Slytherin lot, how Reggie seemed to actually like Snape was odd. 

Sirius had to admit the cape was a choice, not one he would’ve made but he could see Narcissa’s delight in it. You could put a bow on a flobberworm and call it pretty. But the comparison wasn’t fair, the bloody git didn’t look half bad and what a scary thought that was. He didn’t realize how actually small the other boy was, he was so thin. It wasn’t the first time seeing Snape’s body, well if you count when they hung him upside down by the lake but he didn’t dwell on that afternoon. Well tried not too. And it’s not like anyone could know how thin he was since he was usually drowning in his ratty school robes. 

There was no reason for him to seek the Slytherin out tonight except that he liked to see him riled up. To Sirius’ annoyance, Snape was becoming very sure of himself as if he finally became comfortable in his skin. He was self assured before and defiant but he was always on edge. Snivellus was nearing cocky and it wasn’t a bad look, Sirius mused. With a jolt, he stopped that train of thought by blaming the drink - even though he finished that ages ago.

But it wasn’t the first time he had those thoughts, not that anyone knew. Sirius has spent many potion classes watching pale hands deftly wield a wand or knife with skill. Or how sometimes Snape pulled at his color to show a pale neck that led to a collarbone. Sirius swallowed and groaned out loud, this was ridiculous. Maybe he did need someone like James mentioned. Tonight was becoming a very odd night and he didn’t like how most of it centered around Snivellus. He recounted the past few hours. First of all he’s a half-blood, smokes cigs, and he actually isn’t ugly. And there was something different about his face, he just didn’t know what. It was honestly bothering him. Sirius felt his perception of the other shift. Like everything he knew was just flipped on its head. This night was very odd indeed but very interesting. He kinda wished he had bummed a fag from him earlier, could really use one now. Not like he would’ve shared though.

Reggie found him a little while later, casting a new warming charm on them. “You alright?” Reggie asked, looking up at him with his own wide grey-blue eyes. 

“Yeah, Reggie. It’s just a lot. You know.” And bless his brother because he just nodded. Sirius smiled and squeezed his brother in a crushing hug. Regulus squealed and wiggled free. Laughing, the two stood there under the star namesakes until their father told them their mother would like to leave. The ballroom was emptying out now, the party finally winding down. 

Mother and Father were talking to others but Sirius found Narcissa walking towards him. “Sorry I didn’t get to dance with you, Cissy.” Sirius gave her a rueful smile after a brief kiss on her cheek.

Narcissa smiled, “Always so busy Siri. Save a dance for me next time. And did I see you with Sev earlier?” Pale brows creasing.

Sev, Sirius thought.  “Just a chat.” His face had a small smile.

“You better be nice to him, Lucius already doesn’t like you.” She warned. “And I don’t want to imagine what he might do if you end up messing with Severus.”

“Well I don’t like him either,” Sirius replied with a sniff.  

He could tell she was holding in a hex to throw but she wasn’t above rolling her eyes. “Please Sirius, don’t cause more trouble. I really do care for you and Severus, and know that I have only so much sway. Severus is one of our own now. Lucius won’t take kindly if he finds out you did anything to him.” She said lightly but the threat weighed heavy.

“Don’t worry too much, I know how to behave.” Narcissa huffed a laugh at that and bid her family a good night.

“I can’t believe the break is over already, it was so nice to have you here, Severus.” Narcissa sat across from him at the table, breakfast spread before them. “You’re all packed up already?” He was, Severus packed the night before with nerves of going back. His new trunk, thank you Lord Malfoy, was full of his substantial new clothes, research notes and books. Without the expansion charm he wasn’t sure if everything was going to fit. He was going to miss having his private potions lab, maybe he could ask Professor Dumbledore if he could some on weekends.

“Did it this morning,” he lied, not wanting to look eager to leave and took a bite of his toast. “And I wanted to thank you again for everything Narcissa.” She waved him off.

“Shame I can’t see you off at the station but there’s much to do. You will owl me, right? Can’t only talk to Lucius. Not like he remembers to reply anyway.” The last bit she muttered.

“Of course, and if you need anything from me…”

“No, you are a student first and foremost. There will be time for things later. You are brilliant Severus, please don’t forget that. House of Malfoy or not, you will make us proud.” He blushed and went to duck his head down, but sat taller instead and smiled at her. She beamed back.

Sirius was sitting on the bed Fleamont conjured in James’ bedroom. “You alright, mate? You’ve been a bit off since coming back from your parents.” James was in the doorway, hair astray with a furrow between his brows. He loved his friend so much, how much he cared for him.

“Yeah, it’s just, you know how they are.”

James walked in and sat next to him. “Well, I’m here for you, yeah? Wanna talk about it?” Sirius frowned. “Okay, good cause Moony is better for this than I am.” Sirius shoved at him but they both were laughing. He stopped when he remembered the conversation at the ball.

“Oh, I do have something to tell you!” He bounced excitedly causing James to almost fall off the bed. “I saw a certain slimy Slytherin git at the party.”

“You’re going to have to be more clear about who you’re talking about.”

Rolling his eyes, “Snivellus. Snape was there. He’s essentially a Malfoy now but that doesn’t matter.” Sirius flapped a hand.

“Doesn’t matte-”

“No, this you’ll want to hear. Trust me,” Sirius paused, making sure he wasn’t going to be interrupted again. “Little Snivells is a half-blood. Grew up with a one - Miss Lily Evans. They were neighbors as kids.” James’ jaw dropped. Sirius smiled in glee, this was as good as he thought. “That’s how they knew each other before Hogwarts, they’ve been friends since they were kids.”

At the last bit James scowled, “Well they’re not friends anymore.” Sirius blinked, it was true after the fall out that they had at the lake incident. “But are you sure? How do you know?”

“He told me! And check this, he was smoking cigs at the party. I thought I was losing my mind when I first saw him.”

“How strange considering-”

“How he is. I know. Told him that too. He just said that he had to blend in, which is a load of rubbish since he’s the most Slytherin out of the lot.” Sirius leaned back on the bed and thought of their cold conversation.

“Sounds all sorts of odd, and you didn’t fight him even once. Proud of you pads,” he said with a laugh. Even though James was kind of joking, Sirius did take pride in that fact. 

“I know, who knew I had such self control. But doesn’t all of this strike you as odd.”

James ran a hand through his hair, “Sure, but it’s not like he really matters Pads. It’s our last year and then we’ll probably never see him again.” At that moment, Euphemia called them down for dinner. He waved James off with some muttered words about the restroom.

He would never see him again, what an odd concept. Sirius never thought about it since he knew he would always have the Marauders  but everyone would possibly just fade from his life. Sirius’ only thought after Hogwarts was to leave his mother’s house and be on his own, to have that freedom. He didn’t know why never seeing Snape again left him feeling a bit off. Shaking his head he stood from the bed, enough with these strange thoughts. He needed to appreciate his time now with the Potters. 

“What’s for dinner Euphemia?” He called out as he ran down the stairs.

Chapter Text

Severus took a breath and pushed his trolley forward, train ticket clutched in his hand. He must be the only student coming back with so much luggage. Anxiety rippled through his body as he passed through the 9 ¾ hidden entrance. Students stood clumped together in groups, some hopping onto the train already. Families hugged and said their goodbyes when the first whistle sounded. He fought the strong urge to keep his gaze on the floor. He rubbed at the Malfoy ring and straightened up.

As he passed a group of maybe fourth years, he heard the whispers start up. His ears burned and just hoped his face wasn’t scarlet. Lugging his case onto the train and quickly passed every compartment that had a student in it. Finally towards the back of the train was an empty compartment. With his luggage away, he pulled a slim book out and tried to calm his mind. But his heart thudded awkwardly in his chest. Soon enough, Avery stepped followed by a sullen Regulus. 

“Had to check nearly every compartment to find you,” Avery said. “Oh, Black stop sulking.” Regulus rolled his eyes but sat opposite Severus. “He’s been like this since I found him.” He shrugged and fished out his own book to read. Silence descended upon them and then Regulus had his wand out pointing to the closed door. 

Giggles and shuffling of feet before the door shot open. Two girls stood in the doorway, Severus didn’t recognize them at all. “See I told you!” The blonde said to her friend. Two more girls and a boy stood behind them pushing. “Hey, um, are you new?” A voice piped up from the back which was followed by very loud shushing from the other kids.

Severus looked to Avery then to Regulus, both gave confused wary looks at the younger students. “Can we help you” Avery asked politely. 

The brunette with dark eyes looked at him as if he were stupid. “Him.” She said matter-of-factly with a tan finger pointing to Severus. He heard Regulus snort and then smother the sound with a cough. “So what year are you in?” She continued, her posh accent making her sound bratty. The question more of a demand.

Severus blinked slowly, “Seventh year. So, no I’m not new.” He felt very self conscious all of a sudden with these kids gawking at him. His dark hair was pulled back with a black ribbon and he was wearing one of the new sets of robes that Narcissa bought. Avery was full grinning now and he shot him a glare. 

“See! I told you.” One of the other girls chimed in, looking haughty. Suddenly she got shy as she Severus staring at her. Unease filled him. “We were wondering about the potion you use for your hair. It looks so soft. We saw you on the platform and it looks so shiny.” Severus didn't know whether to laugh or cry. One of his biggest insecurities and these girls want to make their hair like his. He knew it felt silky and was shinier than before thanks to the bottles that were probably rattling around in his luggage trunk. The little group edged into the compartment, sending wary looks to the other two Slytherins.

“Erm,” heat blossomed across his face and he asked one of the girls for some parchment. Borrowing a quill from Avery he jotted down what he used and the instructions. One of the girls reached out to touch and jerked back startling the group. The girls immediately rounded on her about boundaries and not to touch. “They also owl order them. Some of the hair tonics are quite simple enough you could probably brew them on your own.” At this the girls bemoaned doing more brewing which caused Regulus to snort which was very not cute of him. Severus sent a glare over his shoulder. 

“What? Maybe you can brew it for them at half the cost,” the younger boy offered up from his seat where he watched the conversation with a smirk. The girls jumped on the offer like starving Griffin’s upon fresh meat. 

“Oh could you? That would be amazing! I’m willing to pay!”

“Me too!” Some piped up as well. These kids throwing galleons his way for hair products.

Severus stared at the group in shock. “Erm, let me draft up a couple of recipes and see what the ingredient cost will be.” The next thing he knew he had a piece of paper with a list of names and grade levels so he could owl them. Dumbfounded, he sat back down on the seat. Avery snickered next to him but stopped after a quick stinging hex. Regulus scoffed at them but had a sharp grin that was very close to his brother's when Severus started to complain that it was all his fault. He threw his hands up. “I find another way for you to make money that isn’t tutoring students. I think you should be thanking me.” Severus glared at him.

“If anything you gave me more work to do,” he hissed. “This year is going to be busy for me already.”

“You could’ve said no.”

“That’s true,” Avery chimed in.

“Oh shut up.” He snapped and slouched on the bench cushions. A couple of more girls shyly knocked on the door and a few boys, to add their name to the list. He could only nod and think of all the ingredients he would need to purchase. He pulled a piece of parchment from his satchel and started to scratch some notes down. Discuss a schedule with Lupin, ingredient list for hair potions, write to Narcissa, and study for NEWTS - plenty of time. His head started to hurt and school hasn't even started yet. Closing his eyes he let the train lull him to sleep. 

“There you are,” a deep voice said from above him. Squinting he saw Mulciber standing over him. “I’ve been looking for you. Well, not me but.” Severus righted himself and frowned. “Just come with me.” He was being dragged up and out of the compartment. Avery stared intently at his book while Regulus was fast asleep next to the window. “Lucinda is asking for you. Something about the ball.”

“What?” He asked dumbly. “Who?”

“The quidditch captain. Come on Snape, you’re so slow.” He stumbled after Mulciber and ran into his large frame when he halted outside a compartment. Then Severus watched as Mulciber cleared his throat and a blush spread from his ears and neck. Severus quirked a brow but said nothing as his friend knocked. Five girls sat squished together in the compartment surrounded by books and snacks. He noticed two were Slytherins and the other three Ravenclaws. The ones from his house looked familiar but he spotted Lucinda immediately. She had dark eyes that watched them cooly, her face was sharp. He was reminded of a fox, and they were but mere rabbits. “Lucinda, here’s Snape.” As if he were a package to be delivered. He shot him a look which went ignored by both parties. 

Holding back a sigh, “You were looking for me?” Lucinda smirked, and shooed at Mulciber to leave.

“Thank you Mulciber, you may go.” Severus has never seen the boy look so downtrodden. Once the other boy left the girls rearranged themselves. One Ravenclaw slid to the floor, her head leaning on of the others legs. “Sit down Snape, Carina move over. There you go.” He sat awkwardly between two girls. “Gwen was telling us about the Malfoy ball and she said you were there. And that the Malfoy's have taken you in.” Gwen was the other Slytherin who bobbed her dark blonde head up and down. He caught a few staring at the ring on his finger. Severus resisted the urge to fidget, no need to be nervous they're just girls.

“As I was saying, he danced with Delia Feathervein. And had a long talk with Karl Braunston,” Gwen stressed the names. The girls in the compartment all sighed and cooed. Severus was absolutely baffled. Was he dragged here for mere gossip? The thought made him groan. 

“The Feathervein's is one of the richest Pureblood families in Southern France, how did she dance? How did she style her hair?” The Ravenclaw girl asked from next to him. Four other sets of eyes watched him.

“Erm, well her hair was curled softly and partially piled up on the back of her head,” he demonstrated as best as he could from what he remembered. “She’s a much better dancer than I and she danced well with the others. Her robes,” he squinted trying to recall, “were dark in color with silver trim and embroidery of some flower.”

“It must’ve been feathers and bluebells. It’s in their crest.” The other girls hummed in reply.

“Was she nice?”

“Very much so, her manners were impeccable. The Beauxbatons are lucky to have her. She also mentioned her interest in curse breaking.” He added the last bit as an afterthought. 

“What about Braunston?” Lucinda asked in the lull. Severus wonders if they were done talking about Feathervein.

He lit up at the change though. “Very amiable, and quite knowledgeable in potion making and had interesting insight in potion ingredients in the nor-”

“Snape." His name snapped out, cutting him off. He would be offended if he wasn't concerned why he was in here still. "That’s not what we want to know. How tall was he? Is he interested in going pro? Any recommended plays?”

They wanted to talk about quidditch. Of course. “About a head taller than me but more broad. He might go pro if he gets an offer.”

“Oh he will, we heard that a couple of scouts have tried to approach him already.” 

The girls jumped into a rapid conversation about other students, Hogwarts and international schools, rumors and strategic moves for the upcoming year. Severus coughed and made to stand up but the girl next to him grabbed his arm. Immediately his fingers twitched toward his sleeved wand. “Where are you going Snape?” She asked.

“Back to my compartment.”

“Why?”

Why? What was he supposed to say to that? Narcissa didn’t say anything about how to leave situations like this. All four girls stared at him. “Erm.”

“Tell us how the ball went, Gwen only attended in the beginning. You’re the only one we know that went.”

Severus felt he didn't know this group at all and now they were acting as if they've been friends. “What about Mulciber?” He offered in hope. The looks of disdain that flooded their faces was answer enough. “Fair. Well, what would you like to know first?” He stayed and regaled the girls stories of the drinks and food that was served, plans Narcissa had made, the type of music and the proposal down every detail he could remember. He ended up learning that the Ravenclaw girls were Victoria Stalworth, chaser, Claudia Culverhen, seeker, and Iris Mierrfield. Merrifield was the only one not on a quidditch team, excluding Severus himself. It ended with Severus sitting on the floor and Gwendelyn Dunphy braiding pieces of his hair. It felt a bit different than when Narcissa did it but it was nice with her thin fingers carding through his hair.

“I’m so jealous, my hair gets so frizzy in the summer,” Dunphy said finishing up the plait. 

“Yeah, Snape. What did you change, it’s so soft,” Culverhen jumped in. He would've bristled at the comment about his looks but he bit his cheek.

“Erm, Narcissa got me some tonics. I can give you the name of the shop.” Every conversation seems to be leading back to this. He wondered if he should offer adding their name to the list as well. 

“Oh yes! And what about your skin. It’s so pale and smooth,” commented Stalworth. At this Severus knew he was blushing which immediately got noticed by the girls. “I’m not joking! What are you using, no need to be shy about it.” 

“Sage. Erm, it’s a paste with sage and rose oil. It’s based on Clearwater’s potion for skin purifying but I tweaked it a bit so it can be applied directly to the skin. Then I just wash it off with some water and it helps with clearing and smoothing the skin. You know since I work with fumes of cauldrons,  thought it would help.” Severus mumbled the last bit when realized he was rambling but when he looked up from his lap he was only met with wide eyes and smiles.

Lucinda hummed. “Well, is it available to buy or you keeping it yourself?” She asked. “I know I would be interested in some, the wind is awful on the skin after flying all day.” And that is how Severus made his second deal of the day and more work to do during the school year.

After finally freeing himself, he managed to get back to his own train compartment. Mulciber sulked and complained to an annoyed Avery. Regulus was still dead asleep and that’s when Severus saw the dark smudges underneath the boy’s eyes. Severus frowned but was pulled out of his thoughts when Mulciber complained again.

“You’ve been gone ages, what could they possibly want to talk to you about?”

“Why thank you Mulciber. It wasn’t like you were the one who dragged me there,” Severus sniped back. “And trust me, it’s nothing you would be interested in.”

Avery snapped his book shut. “Stop complaining Mulciber. Anyways we need to get dressed, I can see the castle. Regulus get up.”

Severus caught Avery’s arm, “Let him sleep a little bit longer,” he murmured. Avery looked at him but nodded. Locking charms in place, and they drew the curtains shut.

As they got older, it got more difficult to change in the train compartments. Especially with Mulciber’s bulk and Snape’s awkward limbs. Elbows and knees bumped and smacked into each other. Regulus got hit with a robe and startled awake. Severus was pulling on his button up when Mulciber let out a low whistle.

“Finally got some meat on you,” he stated with a smack on the back.

“Don’t touch me,” Severus snapped back but there really was nowhere to go in the compartment. Avery was tuggin on his pants and Regulus finally was roused enough to change.

“Just saying. Malfoy fattened you up. Your ribs are no longer protruding.”

“Oh that’s a big word for you.”

“Fuck off, I’m trying to say something nice.” Mulciber knotted his tie with practiced ease. “Don’t why I bothered.”

“Snape, just let him. And you do look good,” Avery gave him a small grin which Severus returned.

“Should I also pay him a compliment too?” Regulus quipped while tugging on his socks. “Shite! Didn’t have to hex me.” He rubbed his thigh.

“Black, once you’re dressed, get out of here. I’m sure Barty is looking for you. And if you see Wilkes tell him to see me,” Mulciber sat completely dressed in the school uniform. His broad shoulders looking impossibly wide in his robes.

“You know, just because I’m a year younger doesn’t mean you can order me around,” the younger Black sneered but stepped into the hallway. 

Severus took Regulus’ seat near the window and watched as the castle loomed into view. It was the last time he’d see it like this and despite everything that has happened in those halls he felt a tug at his chest. “Severus lean forward,” Avery requested from his right. Deft hands redid and adjusted his tie. “There. I don’t know how after six years you still tie it like a first year.” 

“I just let you tie it once and then just slip it on and off.”

“Oi, lovebirds back up.” Avery sat back and looked at where Wilkes stood in the doorway. “Grab your trunks, we’re first off. Mulciber, don’t fetch me like some lackey.” Their voices were drowned with the rush of other students clambering out. 

Severus felt exhausted as he marched along the other students towards the boats. The entire train ride left him exhausted but as he passed some. Students greeted the pair and he could feel people’s gazes on him. The Great Hall was decorated in all its glory with the new first years staring up in awe whispering furiously to each other. He barely remembered getting back to the dorms before Avery was shaking him to wake up for their first class.

Chapter Text

The routine of classes, research and brewing made the days slip into weeks. Soon the first month of the school year went by faster than it ever had. He was surprised to note that he hadn't seen Black or Potter in his vicinity so far and he took that as the gift it was. Though he also noted he hasn’t seen Lily either besides the classes they had together. But between the Wolfsbane notes and research, and the girls hair tonics and potions he barely had time to study let alone sleep. The profit he was making from the tonic didn’t seem to outweigh the time it took, but the girls who got them were so kind to him. Even when he sneered at them they just giggled. Not even the third year girls were scared of him. 

Yawning, Severus stretched in the library chair feeling his back cracking. He needed to work on studying posture since hunching over parchment and books made his body hurt. 

Madam Pince came around a bookshelf, a stack in her arms and mouth in a thin line. “Mr. Snape, I applaud your studiousness but the library is closed. Did you even make it to dinner?” He sheepishly shook his head. She tutted at him. “Thought not. Here, go to the kitchens. The house elves will make you something, don’t want you passing out in my library.” She handed him a small slip of paper, a permission slip to be out past curfew. He raised a brow and she raised one back. He murmured a thanks and gathered his books into his bag, noticing for the first time the library was indeed empty and silent.

The halls were just as quiet. Moon and star light shone on the cold stones, sconces flickered and the occasional ghost slipped by nodding in greeting. Severus stopped abruptly and realized he didn’t know where the kitchens were. Despite being at Hogwarts for over six years he never bothered with midnight snacks like his dormmates. He looked back at the slip in his hand and flipped it over, sure enough. In the flowing looped script it read: Under the Great Hall. Close to the Hufflepuff common room. Tickle the pear in the large painting of a bowl of fruit.  

Tickle the pear. What in bloody hell does that mean? Madam Pince wouldn’t prank him but what an absurd thing to do. But luckily he was headed in the right direction anyway. Quickly enough, he came upon the large painting. Feeling absolutely ridiculous, he reached up and tickled the pear. It giggled and Severus felt his skin crawl. A green handle appeared and beyond laid the warm kitchen. Hogwarts was so odd sometimes. He wondered how much it had to do with Dumbledore. 

House elves scuttled about here and there in various states of dress, cleaning and Severus assumed preparing for tomorrow’s breakfast. The room was not overly large but four long tables sat on either side of the room. Two large fireplaces were on the opposite wall from the door where pots, pans and kettles hung. The smell of roasted meats and baking bread filled the space. Severus felt his stomach gurgle. One house elf caught sight of him and squeaked. “Hows may we help you sirs?” 

“Erm, I missed dinner. Could I just take a pasty or a toastie?” He asked, feeling a bit awkward towering over the wrinkly creature. 

The elf’s eyes grew large. “Oh no! You must eat! Eat! Come sit, Bilby will get you something,” said Bibly while he gestured at the nearest long table and Severus sat. He pulled a book from his bag while the elves bustled about. Another house elf quickly gave him a goblet of pumpkin juice. He sipped on the sweet drink when Bilby came back with another elf. The two set out a feast. 

Severus’ eyes widened. “I can’t possibly eat all of this.” The elves visibly drooped, Bilby looked close to tears. Panicking he quickly amended, “erm, It looks delicious but I don’t eat a lot. If you could put some in a basket I’m sure my roommates would love a late night snack.” He gave them a weak smile but they seemed cheered. At this they were quick to comply. Severus savored his shepherd's pie, it was nice and hot. He didn’t realize how hungry he had been with all his focus on working. Taking a bit of crusty bread he took to wiping the sauce on the bowl. The elves let's eat and read in peace the sounds of the kitchen were soothing. Soon the last bit of his bread was gone and he tossed back the rest of his pumpkin juice. 

Feeling full and content, he adjusted the load of snacks after thanking the elves and headed to the dorms. Maybe Mulciber or Avery would be hungry, he sighed as the long trek back to the dungeons laid ahead. Tired and drowsy from his late meal, Severus didn’t notice the shadow that watched him move down the corridor.

Chapter Text

Sirius watched from the darkened alcove behind a stone pillar. James’ invisibility cloak added another layer of protection but it did nothing to muffle sound. With the map tucked into his back pocket, he watched as Snivellus’ dot finally moved from the library and headed towards the kitchens. With a half explanation Sirius grabbed the cloak and map and sprinted down from the tower. He rounded the corner just as the Slytherin stepped out with a giant picnic basket.

Unaware of Sirius, the Slytherin continued down hallways and staircases heading toward the dorms. No one was about. The castle was eerie in the night. The occasional creak of wood, maybe a door, or crackle from the torches lining the walls. Snape must’ve been tired because he usually senses something by now. But with no one about what good would making a scene do if no one was there to see it? It had nothing to do with the git’s long silky hair that hung past his shoulders now. Or how Narcissa’s threat from the ball still lingered in the back of his mind. 

Snape turned another corner and Sirius followed after like an unwelcome shadow. He didn’t like this tension, this silence. Slipping his wand from his sleeve he cast a small stinging jinx into his leg. He watched as the other boy twitched and stumbled but righted himself before he fell. In a fluid motion he had his wand in his hand and looked wildly around the dim corridor. Of course he wouldn’t see him but-

“Black? Potter?” A bright light emanated from the wand tip. “I swear if that’s you, I’ll hex you into next week. Don’t be a coward, show yourself,” Snape called out, his deep voicing ringing against the stone. Sirius bristled but smirked as Snape glared into empty space. When no other hex came, his wand arm dropped back to his side. 

Sirius grinned watching the other boy cautiously glance around before finally turning back to head to his dorm. A few more paces and Sirius whispered, “Ventus.” A blast of air shot from his wand in a gale lifting the Slytherin’s robes and black hair whipped around a pale face. Snape cried out in confusion and bumped into the wall as the wind dissipated. 

“Revelio!” He hissed but nothing happened. Sirius bit his lip to hide his laughter. “Impedimenta.” A green shot of magic whistled next to Sirius missing by a hair’s breadth. Snape casted again and again but never hit Sirius. It was quite impressive the sheer will power and magic reserves he had. This went on for a bit till they both heard it. A soft meow, a distinct sound - Mrs.Norris heard them. Snape was glaring into the gloom but flinched at the sound. A Protego went up and he took off, a speed with the weight of the food basket Sirius was quite impressed. He didn’t think Snape had the stamina. But Mrs.Norris could sniff him out even with the cloak so with a laugh he ran back towards the tower feeling giddy. And if one of the reasons was because he caught a glimpse of Snape’s legs and arse when his robes flew up, well no one needed to know. 

James was still up with a pout on his face. Peter and Remus’ curtains already closed, Peter’s soft snores already flitting through the room. “Where have you been! You take the cloak and the map, asking no one and you’ve been gone for nearly an hour!” 

Has it been an hour already? Sirius ran a hand through his hair. “Sorry, sorry. I just needed to check something.”

“Gonna share with the class?”

Sirius just smirked, James rolled his eyes. With the cloak followed he placed it back in James’ trunk and the map in Remus’ desk. Kicking off his shoes, he jumped onto his bed. “I’ll tell you later Prongs.”

“Oh, sure you will. Just like the handful of other times you’ve done it. I know you’re not getting detentions but seriously if they find you-”

“I know, don’t worry so much. I won’t get caught and I won’t miss practice. I promised Euphemia I would be good this year.”

“If my mom is what’s keeping you in line then great,” he said, throwing his hands up in the air. “But if you want to be an Arour your grades don't suffer. McGonagal already gave me a lecture about Charms. I have an A, that’s passing!”

“Jamie, come on. It’s late, we can't talk grades now.” He whined.

“Ugh, fine. But Sirius you need to study or else I’m not the only one getting a talking to.”
“Your library dates with Evans is called studying now?” James threw a pillow across the room.

“Oi, if you’re gonna fight go outside but not in here!” Remus hissed from a slit in the drapes. Sirius gulped and gently levitated the pillow back to James who was glaring at him. But with a glance to Moony’s direction they both broke out in grins. 

It was a quiet afternoon, the calm of the library only broke between whispers and thuds of students dropping books. An occasional scolding from Madam Pince could be heard even through the shelves. Sirius’ attention dwindled, from lack of sleep and lack of concentration,  and let his mind and eyes wander. A dark silhouette caught his attention. The shape was till beside minimal movement.

“Knut for your thoughts?” 

“What?”

Remus smiled and put his quill down, “You haven’t moved at all for the past couple minutes. That’s a new record for you. You never sit still.” Remus smirked, “What are you looking at anyways?” 

“What?” Sirius asked again dumbly, finally tearing his gaze away. Remus angled his body and looked through rows of bookshelves. 

Remus turned back to his friend, “Severus? Really?” Brown brows shooting up. “Why are you staring holes into his head? Thought you were gonna leave him alone this year?”

“Rubbish! I’m not staring,” he hissed. Madam Pince came out between some shelves and glared at them. Sirius smiled sheepishly back. “I’m not,” he repeated whispering but his eyes drifted to the group of Slytherins studying a few tables away. “Just spacing, tired you know.”

“Sure, and I turn into a bunny on a full moon,”He said in a deadpan voice. “It’s honestly good that you’re not picking fights with him anymore. Now that James is busy with Lily, his attention span for Severus seems to dwindle. For you though, I’m happy to see that you’re maturing - I think.” Remus paused and smirked again, “Helps that he looks that good now, huh?” 

“What?” He asked somewhat stupidly. What was Moony going on about? Sirius scoffed, good looking where? All Snivellus did was bathe as a difference. Well that wasn’t quite true but he wasn’t going to admit to anything. Sirius flipped his Transfiguration book open to a random page to find something else to think about. The words lay in front of him unread, the letters swimming in front of his eyes.

He was a bit sad that James has been so busy with Lily. Sure, he was happy for them but he got a little lonely if he was being honest. Remus was busy studying all the time and Prefect duties, and even Peter found himself in a new relationship with a cute Hufflepuff girl. Sirius twirled his quill between his fingers. He briefly thought about the Yule ball and spending time back at home, what a strange week that had been. “Well, you know mother dearest made sure I learned some lessons over break,” Sirius finally said airily. Remus frowned at that, Sirius could see the concern so clearly on his dear friend's face that he felt his heart clench. “And Reggie asked me to leave his friends alone,” shrugging with a roll of his eyes, “Snape included. Wait, why do you call him that?” He looked at him accusingly, gray eyes narrowing. Thinking back on what Remus said.

Remus blinked at the sudden change of topic. “Who? Severus? Why not? It’s his name.”

“I’ve never seen the two of you even talk before, since when are you friends ?” Sirius was beyond confused, just last year Snape was ready to hex them to their graves. He thought Snape was terrified of Remus which was not exactly unfounded considering. And now Remus and Snape are friends especially after what happened before, though it was best not to think about that now. Something wasn’t sitting right with him.

Remus paused in his writing but then continued after a moment. “We’re not really. I’m just helping him with a project we discussed over break,” he replied with a small smile, and immediately regretted telling the other boy judging by his face. Sirius’ brows furrowed, frowning at him and then slid his glare where the Slythering sat.. 

“Helping him? Did he threaten you? We can tell Dumbledore you know,” he finished almost with a snarl. If that slimy git did something but Moony just shook his head. Taking a breath he tried to calm down. His resentment simmered. “So, when did you meet him over break? And where?” He whispered, but Remus just shrugged enigmatically. Were they exchanging owls? Did Snevellus even own an owl? Maybe the Malfoys' bought him one. How did they even get to talking? They lapsed in silence but out of everything Remus’ comment about the Slytherin’s looks floated back into his head and nagged at him further. His head started to hurt.

Snape sat facing them, black hair pulled away from his face. That was also something new, he no longer hid behind his lank hair. The greasy look was gone and was replaced with glossy ink black strands that were clean and shone even in the dim light of the library. He sneered less, but he just wears this placid bland expression instead. Pale skin looked less sallow and the Malfoy’s fed him well but those cheekbones were still high and sharp on his face. Sirius didn’t know what to do with this new type of Snape. It’s as if he was replaced with a different version, the Snape he knew for the last six years was gone. It didn’t help that he kept thinking back to the two of them alone on the balcony. How trim Snape’s waist was, the length of his legs, the cape brushing just below this arse, and how those thin pale fingers held that cigarette to thin lips in the cold of the balcony. 

“Sirius, you cannot tell me that you’re not staring. What is Severus doing that is so fascinating? I mean I can tell that time with the Malfoy’s did him some good like I said, but what are you thinking about?” Remus cut through his memory like a bucket of ice water, sounding incredulous. Sirius felt his face heat.

Why did Remus bring that up again? “Good looking where? And that’s the second time you said that. He’s still a greasy little git. Why? You like him, Moony? Falling for a snake?” Sirius snapped, he wanted to stop talking about Snape. Why did he ask that? He felt his anger subsided and guilt set in. Remus just gave a look. 

“You cannot be asking me that?” Remus put his quill down and closed his book. “What’s going on with you? You’ve been acting odd since break. Anything you want to talk about? You were also gone last night? Don’t think I didn’t notice that map was gone.”

Sirius sat back and pushed the chair so it tilted on its back legs. After talking to James about the Yule Ball and graduation, he didn’t feel the need to discuss it again. His eyes flicked from Snivellus to Moony. “Nothing really. Just family stuff, you know. Snivy here has nothing to do with it. So just drop it okay?”

Remus didn’t look happy at the answer but Sirius didn’t really know what to say. “And last night? Were you with a girl or setting up a prank?”

“No and no. Just wanted a snack is all,” he replied with a smirk. He could still see Snape walking out of the kitchen with the burden of the house elves' basket. Sirius still thought of lurking behind him.

“You took the map and cloak, and went to the kitchens?” After a beat, “You know what I don’t want to know but if you’re not going to study let’s go.” He started to pack up his things.

“We don’t have to. Are you even done with your essay?”

“No, and I won’t be as long as you twiddle about next to me. Come on, let’s see if we can get Peter to join us by the lake.” They slung their bags over their shoulders and headed out. Students streamed past, heading in and out of class rooms.

“Is Petey still up in the tower?” Sirius asked.

“Not sure. The map is still in the room, can’t check.”

“Well we can see who else we can bother,” he cracked a grin. They came upon McKinnon who was sitting in one of the side courtyards with McDonald. The two girls whispering and giggling to each other. “What are you two girls up to?” The two jumped apart, startled by the pair of them.

“Jeez, Black you nearly scared us to death. And hello, Lupin.”
“You wound me, Marlene. Always so nice to Remus but where has our love gone?”

Marlene laughed, “Save the dramatics, Sirius.”

“Fine, fine. What were you giggling about anyway?”

The two girls looked at each other, communicating something between them. Then Mary shrugged after a moment. “Apparently there’s a student selling a hair tonic and it works wonders. Soft non-frizzy hair all day without being greasy. We heard from Victoria Hodgsin, the Hufflepuff in our year that one of the second year girls got it for a single galleon. We saw her earlier today and her hair was just brilliant.” 

Sirius held back a groan, hair products. He knew his fair share, couldn't get away with taming his curls without it. “So what’s the big deal?”

Mary looked at him if he were daft. “A tonic like that is worth at least five galleons. If I didn’t see it for myself I would say it would make your hair fall out for such a low price.” Marlene nodded in agreement.

“Is that even allowed?” Remus asked. “A student selling something like that?” Ever the prefect he thought with an eye roll.

“Oh Lupin, you better not go snitching! There’s nothing evil going on, it’s just some hair product. Plus I’m sure the Headmaster knows, he knows everything that goes on in the castle.” Marlene finished with a toss of her curly dark hair.

Sirius highly doubted Dumbledore knew everything but he did know a lot. “Well, if you’re done giggling about hair, wanna join us by the lake?”

“I’ll have to pass, we’re going to talk to Professor Morrison about yesterday’s assignment. Unless you two are actually going to study?” Mary asked but with a look at Lupin, she got her answer.
“Alright, if you see Peter or James tell them to head our way.”

“Tell them yourself,” Marlene snarked as they walked away.

“A hair tonic, really?” Lupin asked, his gaze lost in thought. “For the time and effort alone, a galleon doesn’t seem worth it. Who would do that?” 

“Someone with either a lot of time or is very bored,” Sirius guessed. He laced his fingers behind his head as they walked on. Soft, smooth hair he thought. Someone who would brew that. “You don’t think it's-” He was cut off as a student bumped into him. A first year, he judged by the kid’s height, bumped into him and looked at him wide eyed. 

“Oh sorry,” and the kid sped off again, not a second later another student came around the corner chasing after the first boy.

“Moony, shouldn’t you take points or a detention or something?” Sirius asked, staring after them.

Rolling his eyes, “Please, if I took points from every running student in the halls no one would win the House Cup. Plus, we were way worse at their age so I usually let it go. Come on, I'm getting tired anyway.”

Sirius glanced at the cane and then his friend’s pale face. The moon was just a few days from now. “Alright, maybe the others are back in the room.”

Chapter Text

Blue steam rose steadily from the bubbling cauldron. Severus groaned and put his head down on the work table. His eyes ached, a dull pain that progressively got worse as the afternoon went on, from taking notes and keeping a watchful eye on the potion. The tenth version gurgled away next to him. This wasn’t proper lab protocol but at the moment he didn’t care. He just hoped that this would work, the stirring process took longer than he thought. He had missed dinner and now he couldn’t find the energy to even sit up straight. He was just so tired. Closing his eyes and letting his cheek rest against some parchment as he slipped into darkness. 

A knock on the lab door jolted him awake. “Shit!” He exclaimed, and immediately went to check the potion. Thank Merlin it was fine with a quick few stirs and lowering the heat. Lupin walked in with that dopey grin he always seemed to wear. Sitting down on a nearby stool and propped his cane against the table, he nodded at the cauldron.

“So, what do you think of this batch?” Lupin asked watching Severus work to pour and check the dark liquid, the blue smoke rising from the top. Despite the smile, the Gryffindor looked just as tired as he felt.

Pulling his hair out of the knot he put it in earlier, “I think this will have an effect for sure, testing with the original recipe requires finesse and extreme detail as you know. Adding in extra hellebore along with the crushed mint might be what we were missing last time.” He said, but stared at the vial with ill concealed hope. 

“Guess there’s only one way to really tell,” Lupin reached for the potion. So far Severus hadn’t accidentally killed the other boy but every time Lupin drank it he couldn’t help but be a little nervous. The last thing he wanted was to poison Lupin and become a murderer by accident. Headmaster Dumbldore wouldn’t protect him that's for sure, no matter his intentions. And it would really put a damper on his future. Severus watched him down it in one go, grimacing at the end. “Taste could still be better, not dead yet so there’s that,” he said weakly.

Rolling his eyes with a huff. “Amazing. Gryffindors truly have no self preservation instincts,” Severus said, taking the vial back and cleaning up his work table. “I’ll never understand you. And here.” He handed him a glass of water.

“Cheers. Also thanks for this, even if I’m playing the test subject. What this would mean to me and others like me. If this works it's beyond anything I could’ve hoped for.” 

“Well, we both benefit from this,” he was always a little uncomfortable by Lupin’s sincerity. If Severus managed to do a breakthrough on an altered version of the Wolfsbane potion, his mastery would be that much closer with or without the backing of Lord Malfoy. “Anyway, same time tomorrow in this classroom.”

“Of course, Severus,” he replied cheekily. Wolf in sheep’s clothing was the most accurate description, truly. 

“I told you not to call me that, we’re not friends Lupin,” he hissed out. His eyes narrowed into his typical glare but the other was unflappable. 

The other boy just laughed brightly, his scars on his face wrinkling with his smile. “Sure, not like we’ve been working together for the past two months. And even more correspondence during other times.” Severus rolled his eyes. Lupin got up and hobbled to the main door holding it open with his cane while he stepped through. Severus followed a little behind. He almost ran into him, a curse on his lips when Lupin turned to a stop in the hallway. His bright golden eyes were thoughtful while looking at him. He refused to fidget under the intensity of it. “By the way, did Sirius do something to you?” Severus paused, what on earth was this wolf talking about? “It’s just that you two don’t fight anymore, not that I’m complaining.” He filled in when Severus didn’t answer. “It's only after the break do you two avoid each other now. I’ve been thinking about it for a while.” 

Severus’ bewilderment quickly gave way to anger. “Well, I’m not actively avoiding your little group. Looks like he finally got his big head out of his arse.” He sneered, Lupin frowned, taken aback by the venom. “Or maybe he realized he was bullying me for the hell of it. ‘Cause I was friends with Li-Evan? That’s why? And don’t say anything. Think back because I was only defending myself first.” At this he got right into Lupin’s face. “I admit I was curious about your little group but Potter and Black sought me out when they were bored or looking for a Slytherin to harass. I’m glad they’re leaving me alone,” Severus spat. “Curiosity almost got me killed.” Lupin blanched. And before the other could get another word in, Severus stalked off fuming to the Slytherin common room banishing any thoughts of idiotic Gryffindors from his mind. 

Avery was sitting on his bed with another book on his lap. “Where’ve you been? Wilkes was looking for you earlier. Something about Arithmancy notes.”

Sighing he flopped onto his bed. “Wilkes can fuck off till he can pay me to keep tutoring him. I’m tired, wake me up when dinner is ready.” Avery sighed in reply, and Severus fell asleep to the sound of turning pages.

Lupin came to the empty potions classroom, drank the portion and grimaced for the next six evenings. No further mention of Black or Potter, and Severus was thankful that he seemed to have gotten the hit. But his mood picked up since he felt that this version was it . He had Lupin writing down any side effects or symptoms he thought were relevant. And Lupin wrote a lot, Severus couldn’t even be annoyed because the other boy was detailed and he’d rather have too much information. All his notes were piled up as he handed the last goblet to Lupin before the werewolf would have to retreat under the Whomping Willow for the night. 

“I know you keep mentioning that this is about furthering yourself, Severus, but I really do appreciate it. This is incredibly impressive. Thank you.” Lupin held up the empty goblet. “I’ll write you a full report when I’m able, but if you need me come to the hospital wing tomorrow.” The sandy haired boy threw him a grin and hobbled out.

Severus stood there for a moment before going through the motions of cleaning up. Once all the knives and stirring rods were clean, cauldron scrubbed and notes packed he sighed. Rubbing at his face, he needed sleep and he hoped Lupin would be alright for both of their sakes. 

The hallways weren’t quite empty yet and he passed the occasional student on his way back to the dorm. The common room wasn’t full either, Slytherins dotted couches and tables in a mix of socializing and studying. Late night quidditch practice might be happening but Severus couldn’t be sure. Murky green water from the lake swirled on the far side, its frame empty without a view of the giant squid or occasional grindylow. It looked oddly sad without any of the lake creatures. 

“There you are, Severus! Wondering when you would turn up,” Rosier called from a plush couch. No practice then. He sat with a roll of parchment and quill forgotten on the table. “This came for you earlier, daft bird couldn’t find you I guess.” He held an envelope between his fingertips with a red seal. Severus dumped his bag on the floor and settled on a cushion, tearing open the letter ignoring the insignia on the wax. It’s not one he recognized anyway. His dark eyes skipped across the parchment. “So what’s it say?” Leaning close against his side. His sandy blond hair brushing against his own hair, Severus pushed him back. Rosier was always so touchy.

He glared, “None of your business. Come on, you know better, Evan.” Rosier just laughed and Severus shook his head. “Thank you for this though.” He tucked the envelope into his bag. “You need help with that?” Gesturing to the abandoned homework. 

“Nah, I know what to do, just don’t feel like it.” 

The two chatted a bit about this and that. Despite everything, he always felt comfortable with Evan. He didn’t bullshit anything, just said how it was. One could appreciate that. Wilkes came by but Severus shooed him away with some threats while Rosier laughed at the two of them. “You wouldn’t be laughing if you had to tutor the idiot. It’s as if he didn’t go to class at all!”

“Calm down, you don’t have to worry about Wilkes’ grades. That’s his problem, besides he's a pillock. Just worry about yourself, not that you have to since you have Malfoy now.” Severus hummed in reply. “Too busy for lowlives like us now. I feel like I barely see you around”

At that he turned to face the other. Evan was fiddling with the edge of the couch. “Evan, don’t pout, it's not cute. And I’ve always been better than you lot anyway.”

“I feel like Avery has been glued to your side, hell even Regulus is with you more often than not,” he huffed.

“Whining isn’t really helping you. Plus, you were dating what’s her name,” he flapped his hand.

“Catherine Leeds. And you know her name. Study with me once in a while, Merlin. I'll even join you and Regulus in the library.”

Severus sighed, “Fine. Come on, finish that up and let’s see if we can find a chess board. I’ve been practicing.”

“Oh, you're on.”

At breakfast he saw Regulus but the boy was gone before he finished eating with a crowd of other fifth and fourth year Slytherins off to who-knows-where. He shook his head and looked down at his own plate. Severus didn’t really want to know what those kids were up to. 

He kept making vague noises at Rosier and Mulciber while they heatedly discussed Quidditch Cup scores and upcoming practice drills. Those two couldn’t take anymore hits to the head, they’d lose what remaining use of their brains they had left. He snorted to himself. Evan next to him was busy skimming a charms book ignoring the Quidditch idiots, he didn’t blame him.

His eyes drifted across the head table, ignoring Dumbledore’s smile, and swept through the hall where he startled. Blue-gray eyes bore into him across the hall. 

Black was staring at him intently so he obviously sneered back, but Black didn’t retaliate. The idiot just sat there with his breakfast untouched and eyes focused or maybe unfocused. He only moved when Pettigrew leaned over to grab more food across from him. His eyes snapped down as if broken by a spell. Severus frowned and watched as Potter swayed into Lily, both of them laughing, far too happy for the early morning he thought to himself. 

“Snape, pass the toast.” Mechanically he moved his hand across. “You alright?” He just hummed a reply instead. His thoughts drifted back to the letter he received yesterday. The contents were intriguing, the sender on the other hand was an issue. He didn’t want to wait too long to reply in case he seemed rude but he had a sneaking suspicion that this correspondence would go poorly if he didn’t tread carefully. Severus didn’t want to botch this up.

In a moment of weakness, he thought about asking Slughorn. The professor was much kinder to him and acknowledged his prowess now that news of Malfoy's sponsor made it to the man’s ears. He could possibly ask Regulus or Evan but he didn’t want them in this. He pushed his food around on his plate and realized he had one more person he could possibly ask.

Chapter Text

The lone Slytherin stood outside the infirmary shifting from foot to foot, Slytherin pride be damned, before steeling himself and pushing the heavy door open. It was quiet. Madam Pomfrey must be out, luckily for him. Only a single bed was occupied with the curtains drawn around it.

“Sirius, I told you I don’t need-Oh! Severus I wasn’t expecting you,” Lupin exclaimed weakly with a shy smile, shifting in bed to sit up. Putting the book he was reading aside. The Gryffindor looked pale and bags were dark under amber eyes. Long limbs were tucked under the blankets. He looked like shit but better than he has in a while after a full moon. 

“Should hope not,” he drawled, not bothering to correct Lupin about using his first name. This was an argument they had many times already and he tired from correcting him. He looked him over, no new scars on any of the skin he could see. Severus nodded to himself with relief, at least something in the potion seemed to work. 

“Please sit. Don't hover, it makes me antsy.” Severus sat. “I was going to write a report, I swear but the fatigue of the change…”

He waved away the comments. “I didn’t expect you to immediately, and not why I’m here. This is why I’m here.” He tossed the opened letter on top of the blankets. Remus to his credit only looked at him for a second before picking it up with trembling hands. 

Severus ignored the anxiety that bubbled up inside his chest, Lupin wasn’t his friend and yet here he sat. Turning away as the boy read he glanced around the place, he’s been in here too often for his liking but it’s odd to see it this quiet. The empty beds all tucked and pressed waiting for a sick or injured  student. He never really noticed but the infirmary didn’t smell medicinal, it was more floral and just overall clean. 

The door to Pomfrey’s private office and quarters was closed but Severus knew his own file was quite long in there. Maybe he could ask Madam Pomfrey if she needed assistance in her potion supply, he could use some variety in his repertoire. Professor Slughorn would easily vouch for him, especially if he didn’t have to brew anymore. Slughorn loved free labor as much as he loved fawning over his prized students. Severus already started making mental notes of which potions he knew would be needed and is used most often.

Lupin folded the letter and placed it back in the envelope. “Well this is wonderful but what does this have to do with me?” Ge asked, handing the letter back. And honestly that was a valid question. He looked a bit amused and confused. Severus was at a loss himself when he read it but he wouldn’t let that show. He knew what an opportunity this was for him, but it was the sender that was causing an issue.

He shrugged, moving his hair behind an ear. “I came to you to seek some assistance and perspective. Maybe you know how to help with this or someone who might,” he stated stiffly, “I was going to ask Regulus since he’s better about these things than I am but I can’t seem to find him. And I didn’t want to send a reply before talking to someone who might be of help. Oh stop grinning like that Lupin! Don’t make it out to be more than what it is.” Severus huffed and crossed his arms. Maybe this was a mistake, this damn Gryffindor looking smug.

“What will it take for you to call me Remus?” He was fully grinning now. Severus glared at him. “I’m glad you came to me, we’re becoming fast friends. Don't you think so? And I don’t know what James would do honestly if he found out that his dad contacted you about potion research.” He finished with a thoughtful look.

Ignoring the first part that the other boy prattled on about, Severus murmured, “That’s what worries me, my life has been going well so far this year but the last thing I need is for Potter to find a reason to start up his idiotic nonsense again.” He absently pushed his hair away from his face, slicking it back.

And Lupin didn’t deny the jab at his friend, it was true after all what could he say? Lupin seemed to be the most tactful out of the bunch which wasn't saying much. The two sat in silence for a couple of moments before Lupin lit up, “How about this,” he started with a gleam in his eye, “I can talk to Lily so she can talk to James about it. He's more likely to listen to her than any of us. She’ll probably want to discuss it with you first though, among other things.” 

Severus stared blankly at him, “Lily.” He let her name hang in the air. “Lupin, you must know we’re not on speaking terms. You were there.” He said tersely and the other had the decency to look ashamed.

“Well, I can talk to James but I’m not sure how much sway I can give.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, aren’t you all joined at the hip?” He smirked. “I think you’re the only voice of reason for that lot.” He sobered up and leaned back in the chair. “I’m not sure Ms.Evans would be willing to help me anyway, you can ask but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Lupin just stared at him, his bright eyes calculating before agreeing. 

Aiming to be polite now that his request was out of the way, Severus asked how Lupin’s night went and was delighted to hear that it went beyond their expectations. Severus learned a bit more about the transformation process and what some additional symptoms to think about. They talked a bit more after that when he noticed Lupin was getting drowsy. Severus stood to go when the door to the infirmary door slammed open. The sound deafening in the cavernous room making Severus jump a bit and Lupin jolted in the bed causing him to wince.

“Moooony!” Black bellowed. How a sick person could get any rest with him around Severus didn’t know. Lupin slumped against the pillows with a groan, Severus could sympathize and pitied him. He held in a snicker at the other boy's misery. 

A red and gold tie hung loose around Black's open collar, dark wavy hair was a fluffy cloud around his head where the ribbon tying it back had come undone which dangled caught in his robes. He came to an abrupt halt when he saw the two of them, then cocked his head like a dog trying to figure a simple puzzle. It was a fair comparison, Black was like an animal most of the time anyway. “What’s he doing here? Is he bothering you?” His tone aggressive. Setting down some books next to Lupin’s bedside table and unceremoniously dumping his own book bag on the floor. Black hovered next to the bed caught between standing protectively in front of Lupin or blocking Severus' exit, still unsure. Though he didn’t draw his wand, he looked ready to at any moment. His body taught with tension. 

Severus rolled his eyes ignoring Black’s question. He turned back to the boy in the bed who now just looked far too amused at the situation. The tosser. “Anyway, it looks like your guard dog is here. Let me know if you need anything else Remus . I’ll be talking to you later, don’t forget to meet me when you feel better.” Lupin grinned wide now, all teeth, and his laugh followed him out down the hall. Severus allowed himself to smile, Black’s shocked face was worth using the wolf’s name. Now that he had someone to talk to Potter, it alleviated a weight off his shoulders. If it was Lupin himself or he somehow convinced Lily, both worked in his favor. As for now, he had to find Slughorn.

Chapter Text

The door closed with a thud and Sirius whirled to the bed. “Moony the fuck? What was that about? Why was he here?” He demanded. Sirius thought he was hallucinating at first seeing the dark haired Slytherin sitting next to Remus chatting! Them calling each other by their first names like they’re mates, meeting up, the git willingly visiting the infirmary after the full moon. He was under the impression that the git was still mad and maybe even scared of Moony. His head started to hurt trying to process it all, and Remus looked far too smug.

“What do you mean? He just wanted to visit me,” Remus said, voice dripping with innocence.

“Sure and centaurs shit gold,” he said deadpanned. “Why was he actually here? I know you two aren’t actually friends, calling each other by your first names was obviously a poor joke.” He plopped into the visitor chair Snape vacated and dug around in his bag. “I’m surprised he came in here at all considering what yesterday was.” Pulling out a chocolate bar, he handed it to his friend. He received a grateful smile in return this time.

Remus sighed, biting into the chocolate bar. “Calm down. I told you, we’re working on a project together. And he had a question for me that was important. Also, there’s nothing wrong with having friends outside your house, you know.” Giving him a pointed look. 

Sirius slouched and squinted at his friend. With a quick nod, he figured he would find out eventually - it would require a lot of chocolate bribing though. He could let things go, he could be mature like they wanted him to be. Maybe.

“I know that. I like plenty of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws,” he said petulantly, “Anyway, you look loads better today than you have in a while. No new scars. That’s nice to see!” He redirected the conversation. Remus mentioned something about a new salve Madam Pomfrey has been working on with an odd expression on his face. Maybe it didn’t smell good, hell he knows most potions don’t taste good. “Moony was also in a good mood last night too. Mostly ran about, played with us, and then slept when the sun started to come up.” Sirius then recounted in detail about their night, how Prongs almost got stuck in a doorway with his antlers and that Wormtail fell off of Pads and proceeded to just sleep the night away instead. 

Remus smiled. “I’m just thankful my body hurts less. And for you guys to be there with me too, I know I’m not exactly me down there but.” 

The sentiment made his chest hurt, so Sirius reached across and grabbed a scarred hand. “It is you Remus, just a different part. And you know we’ll always be there for you.” He patted his hand a couple of times before letting it go. “And I haven’t been the best at that. I know you said to stop but I am really sorry for what happened last year.” Sirius watched Remus look away and he forced himself to swallow. Letting the silence stretch before he launched into a story about what happened in Charms earlier that morning - Snape no longer on his mind.

Sirius left after Moony fell back asleep. Stretching, his neck cracked and his back ached from sitting for so long. He didn’t want to write his essay for potions, maybe he’ll ask McKinnon for help. She was always a little sweet with him.

Humming, he wandered through the halls not in any rush to get back to the dorms. Poking his head into the Great Hall, he didn’t see the other two Marauders but spotted McDonald. Mary McDonald waved him over and they sat together talking about the latest rumors from the Daily Prophet over some biscuits. Sirius made up outrageous stories about the people on the Wizengamot, her laughing so hard that she just ended up smacking his arm to stop. Frank Longbottom wandered over asking if either wanted to play chess, the polished wood board clutched to his chest. Sirius knew what battles he would win, and chess with Frank was not one of them so left them to it.

“Pads!” His nickname echoed down the corridor and he turned in time to see James barreling into him. “Lily finally agreed to go with me next Hogsmeade weekend! This counts for celebration!” With James’ arm around him. Blindsided by the news but joining his friend’s happiness, Sirius was dragged off laughing.

“Well done Prongs! Like I said, it was only a matter of time before she fell for your charms.” Sirius and James skipped down the hall, well until McGongal told them to quit it. They were still laughing all the way to the Common Room. 

Students sat and talked on every available surface, some called out to them to join their game of exploding snap but James was nearly vibrating with excitement so they went straight to their room. “So tell me how it happened.” He flopped down on his bed, turning on his side. James sat on his bed cross legged, a goofy grin wide on his face. Eyes sparkling behind his glasses.

“Well we were studying with Clearwater and Barnes in the Great Hall. We brought up Hogsmeade and how Miller, the Ravenclaw beater, is taking Webster,” James rambled. Sirius tried to follow who was who in the story and wondered why they mattered. This went on for a while until he got to the point. “Then Clearwater asked if I was taking anyone, so obviously I asked Evans again. And she said yes. Just like that. I don’t know what happened, I think I choked on my pumpkin juice.” That explained the stain on his collar.

Sirius was still a bit dumbfounded but grinned, “Bloody hell, maybe she said yes just wanted to shut you up.” He wasn’t fast enough to dodge the pillow that was aimed for his face. 

Still cackling when Peter wandered in, poor sod got hit right in the nose with a poorly aimed throw from James. It devolved from there.

James recounted the tale, adding more embellishments this time, to Peter who was listening with wide eyes. “Does this mean you won’t be going to Hogsmeade with us?” Peter asked.

“Well I can’t very well be on my date and hanging out with you wankers.”

“Hey! We would be excellent company for you and Ms. Evans.”

“Oh, I’m sure. Don’t want to scare her off,” James said. “Find your own dates to bother, I’m going to be the perfect gentleman.”

“Mate, I don’t think you know how.” Luckily for Sirius, he dodged the pillow that went flything this time.

Sirius woke with a yawn and yanked his curtains back. Peter and James were still asleep it seemed. The light coming in through the window was pale, groaning it was too early to be awake. Rolling around in the sheets, he flopped back. Why on the days he can sleep in, he can’t? Heading to the empty washroom, he did his morning routine. He could go flying, a nice solo flight. There was no way he was going to go back to sleep anyway. Sirius couldn’t remember his dream but snippets of steam and running in the forest were the only things that came to mind. It left his feeling jittery and out of sorts.

Pulling on a thick jumper, he headed towards the pitch. The castle was always quiet on weekend mornings, most deciding to sleep in. Sirius envied them as he yawned again. He nodded to the passing ghosts and found himself walking the bridge, the hills and path down to the pitch. Not a soul in sight. Grabbing his broom from the Gryffindor lockers, he sprinted and jumped soaring into the air. 

The cold wind whipped at his skin and made his eyes water but he let out a delighted laugh. This was true freedom! He twirled and twisted in the mist and wind, doing tricks that were not quite allowed during a regular game. Pushing his broom forward, he shot into the misty clouds. The water clinging to his clothes and hair. And with a pull he leaned back and fell towards the pitch at breakneck speed. Wind rushed in his ears and tugged on his clothes. His hair whipped his face but the sheer adrenaline rush. His heart thudded almost painfully in his chest. The green of the grass rapidly approached him but he pulled up and did a circuit above the stands. He was calm up in the sky where the wind still rocked his broom.

His skin felt chilled but he knew his face was flushed. With a grin he looped around the pitch and started running some drills. A couple more tricks just because he could have Sirius gasping lungfuls of air. He brushed his hair back. The sun was beginning to fully emerge from the clouds, maybe the others are awake now. Or he could just stop by the Great Hall and grab some breakfast.

Breathing heavily he just hung in the air taking it in for a moment longer. A movement towards the edge of the forest caught his eye. The sun broke through bathing the trees in morning light but at the same time, creating such dark shadows it might’ve just been an animal scurrying back in. Flying above the treetops he couldn’t make out much. He swears the shape he saw was Snape. With a frown he landed on some soft moss and walked into the Forbidden Forest. 

The forest was cool and damp as it always was no matter the time of year. The occasional animal sound rustled nearby but he wasn’t scared of the forest or its secrets. He spent so many nights running through here with the other Marauders that it didn’t feel foreign. Pin pricks of light came through the leafy canopy overhead. A quick movement and he snapped his head around, his wand sliding into his hand. He treaded carefully over roots and rocks towards the noise. With his hand raised he peered around a copse of trees and froze. Sirius didn’t think he actually saw Snape, he thought maybe he was going a bit mad but there he was. 

A warm cloak hung off his shoulders and quickly damped as the Slytherin crouched, snipping off bulbs of a purplish blue flower. His hands were covered in gloves making his hands look elegant in their movements. Snip. Snip. And then he gathered them into a small basket. This went on for a while as Snape went around the small clearing, snipping off this and that from different plants. There was a furrow in his brow as he concentrated on his task. Sirius couldn’t help but find the entire situation amusing, if not a little alarming since Snape was out in the woods by himself. Snape was so content about foraging for, Sirius assumed, some potion ingredients. His dark figure was a contrast to his pale face that was flush pink with excitement or exertion perhaps. Sirius nearly thought the scene was cute.

Something snapped a twig nearby and Sirius saw Snape raise his wand at the same time he did. Both pointed into the gloom but nothing came. As if it was his cue to leave, Snape peeled off his gloves and stuffed them in his cloak pocket. Pale hands clenching and unclenching. He brushed off some twigs from his trousers and cloak that attached itself to him. He made a final calculating gaze around the clearing and went on his way back towards the castle Sirius assumed. 

Swallowing hard, Sirius stayed behind the tree trunk until he was sure Snape wouldn’t hear or see him. Pocketing his wand, Sirius trudged back towards the pitch. Maybe another lap would clear his head because why didn’t he do anything? Why didn’t he say anything? And there is no way Snape plucking at flowers constitutes as cute. Not the way he looked like a fairy without wings sitting Okay, maybe a couple more laps around the pitch. He heaved a sigh and shot back up into the open air.

Chapter Text

It took two more days but he got an extensive wolfsbane report from Lupin. They met up in the library and went over the night’s events since Lupin was less tired and more lucid. They were both quite excited with the results, Lupin especially so for obvious reasons. 

Noting that he knew who he was during the transformation, what he was doing and remembered the majority of the night was a banging success. The transformation still hurt before and after but Severus wasn’t sure what might help without affecting the base of the potion. Right now Lupin was just taking pain relieving potion and invigorating draught which helped a tad. But this was such a huge step forward that he couldn’t help but feel proud. Severus started to draft his findings.

He spent the next few days compiling notes, potion steps and looking into other ingredients. He researched beyond Lycanthropy but into other creatures. By the end he had about three feet worth of notes and ideas. Severus had Lupin read through some and added his own notes to it in a late night session in a potion’s lab claimed as his own.

Lupin also brought news that Lily would talk to him later that week in the library. Severus nearly ripped a new one into the Gryffindor, but he also despaired. The idea of talking to Lily again had dread settling heavily into the pit of his stomach that refused to go away. Also, how was it that Lupin could convince her for a talk but she refused to even let him apologize. After getting harassed by every passing Gryffindor when he loitered outside begging for a chance to apologize, explain, something, he was shunned. And he took that to heart, he let her be. Maybe she needed time, like he did. Severus wondered if she changed like him or if she was still the same as the neighbor girl he first became friends with. It wasn’t like they never saw each other, they shared the majority of their classes but his eyes no longer sought her green ones out.

Instead of further wallowing in his impending despair of a reunion, he drowned himself in work. With Lupin’s notes essentially done for now until the next full moon, Severus went through the list of names of both girls and boys who wanted hair tonics and skin pastes, potions and the such. Since he’s been so busy the list has gotten quite extensive, who knew so many people wanted things made by him. It brought a swell of pride and got right to work.

After Charms Lupin approached him making sure that everything was set up for his talk with Lily. Merlin, what a mess. Apparently, Potter had Quidditch practice so he wouldn’t be able to interfere which made it perfect. The sandy haired boy asked if he wanted him to be there, and Severus surprised them both by saying yes. He promptly ignored the grin he got in response.

The two of them sat in the back hiding behind the stacks as they waited for Lily. They went over in further detail about the wolfsbane and the current transfiguration homework when they heard someone clear their throat. Both heads snapped up from where they poured over parchments that were strewn across the table between them. 

Lily stood with her arms crossed and eyebrows raised. Green eyes not quite glowering at them but it wasn’t a kind look either. “Hey Evans, we were just studying while we waited.”

“Didn’t know you were going to be here too Lupin,” she shot a look to Severus who just continued to put away their work avoiding her gaze. “What did you want to talk about, Severus? I thought it was private? And since when were you two friends?” Her tone was accusing and a little hurt. As if she had the right, but he quelled that thought before it could rear into something even uglier.

Severus cut off Lupin before he said something stupid, “We just study together sometimes, we’re not friends.” Lupin rolled his eyes. “And there’s a lot that I need to say before we get to the main topic.” Lily took a seat next to Lupin and waited. Severus cleared his throat and sat up straighter. “Right. Can I start with I’m sorry?” He said looking directly into her eyes unflinching. Her green eyes showed nothing. With Remus there maybe Lily felt more comfortable to hear him out, and that thought hurt him more than he cared to admit. He wasn’t going to hurt her again, he never meant to. Severus went through the event of the afternoon by the lake and apologized profusely like he had before. And then he started talking about his dormmates, Slytherin expectations and threats on his person and her because of their friendship. Remus looked a bit uncomfortable at the reminder of his friends’ prank and was horrified to hear how rough the Slytherin dorms were. Severus nearly scoffed at the look of pity on the wolf’s face, he didn’t want pity but wanted to lay out what it was like for him.

“Oh, Sev. I knew you were going through a lot but it hurt so much. I was just so mad. I felt betrayed, as if everything we went through was for nothing. And then you just stopped talking to me.” Green eyes were bright with the and it hurt for Severus to look at them. She reached across the table and took his hands in hers. Soft and warm. Lily took a shaky breath. “And I wasn’t at my best either but I was hurting, it seemed like everything we had was gone. And I thought the worst of you in that moment, like everything you denied was true. I’m so sorry.” Severus sighed and squeezed her fingers, she squeezed back. They shared smiles, even if they were a bit strained, and he knew they were going to be okay even if everything wasn’t quite all out in the open yet. This was the first step. “So, tell me why you had Remus call me here?” This is also why he loved her, that frankness and ease.

Sitting back, he pulled his hair up and away from his face. Then told them about the letter, Dumbledore, Malfoy Manor, his sponsorship - all of it. Except for the ball, he didn’t think they needed to know about any of that. He doesn’t know why he left that part out, he was telling himself it was because Lily has been trying to get him to quit smoking for years ever since he stole one from his dad when he was thirteen. Or maybe it just didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. The two Gryffindors listened quietly as he explained his last couple of months. Only at the end did they have some questions which he answered as best as he could.

“Oh I’m so happy for you Sev!” She cried as loudly as she dared in the library. “I was worried when I didn’t see you in the neighborhood over break. My parents said she didn’t see you around either.  But you looked so much better when we came back that I knew you must’ve been safe somewhere. I’ll be honest I’m not happy that it was with Malfoy,” she grimaced, “but I’m glad they’re treating you like how you deserve to be treated.” Severus looked away, uncomfortable with the attention. Even with their animosity she still sought him out during the break, it made his chest ache. Maybe a lot of unwarranted hurt could’ve been easily avoided but the past is the past. The silver ring sat heavy on his slim finger. Lupin looked between the two of them parsing together what he could. Severus could practically hear the gears turning. “Have your parents said anything?” Severus shook his head no. Lily frowned but continued on, “Well! Glad you can be away from your dad now. And goodness that was a lot but I really meant it - you look great! And with clothes that actually fit you can see that nice body of yours.” He blushed crimson and felt his neck getting hot as Lupin choked next to him. Lily said the most embarrassing things just because she knew he blushed crimson. 

“Maybe this is why James always thought you two were dating,” Lupin mused.

Making twin faces of disgust, “I love Lily like she’s my sister. She’s my best friend and not particularly my type.” He smirked at the red head who grinned back all cheek and freckles.

“What he means is, he doesn’t like girls Remus,” she said slowly taking pity on the other Gryffindor. Severus watched on, still smirking.

His mouth dropped open a little before smiling. “Ah, well that makes sense. Poor James, he had no idea that he was jealous for nothing.” Lupin laughed, shaking his head.

“Honestly, James can be so kind but he really needs to deal with his temper and think a little more sometimes.” Severus muttered under his breath that he needed a brain, Lily whacked him on the head. “So what’s the letter?”

Her trust and willingness to help despite their rocky last two years was always a blessing and it made his heart ache. Their friendship would withstand it all - James Potter be damned. He cleared his throat. “As you know I’m going for my mastery in Potions and with the help of the Malfoys this is a more achievable goal. And I’ve met some people who are really interested in what I wanted to do. I think word got around because I received this at the beginning of the week.” He passed her the letter, him and Lupin sat back watching her read. They quietly discussed their previous notes as she read. Heads bent together to not give too much of their research away.

When she finished, she put the parchment down on the table between them. Green eyes shining, “This is amazing! I’ll be honest I wasn’t following all of the deeper questions of research but to have a Potion’s Association Master show interest is amazing! Even if it is Mr.Potter, I don’t see the issue?” Her brow crinkled. Severus stared at her in disbelief while Lupin snickered next to him. Lovely Lily could be so dense sometimes.

“Lily. Potter hates me, if he finds out I’m going to be doing research and sending owls with his father he’s going to lose his bloody mind,” Severus stated. “He’ll think that I’ve Imperiused or cursed his father into doing my evil bidding or something else rather absurd.”

She frowned, “He doesn’t hate you. And so what, you’re not working with James, you’ll be in contact with his dad. Sev, I think you’re making a bigger deal out of this than you think. But if James puts up a fuss I’ll deal with him, don't worry about that. He can be stubborn but he adores his parents. Plus Remus will help me, right?” Lily turned a sharp grin to her friend who nodded.

Severus felt a weight lift off his chest, dare he hope that it was just that easy. He wanted to mull over this more but he knew the longer he waited to send a reply the less likely he would reply at all.

“Okay, maybe you’re right Lils. What do you want in return for keeping Potter happy?”

“Sev, nothing. You know better, I’m your friend and I’m helping you cause I want to.”

“And I know you say we’re not friends, but I consider you one so the same goes for me,” Lupin chimed in with a soft smile on his face. Severus was beginning to feel like his life was truly changing for the better.

Chapter Text

Fresh from a shower, Sirius went back up to the dorm leaving James behind in the Quidditch locker room. He felt tired but in a good way, the thrill of flying always made him happy. Though he loved his best mate, truly, James took forever to get ready and that was saying something since Sirius always perfected his appearance.

Finding their dorm empty, he pulled out the Marauder’s map from Remus’ drawer and scanned the castle before finding his roommate's name in the library which was nothing new. The names next to others gave him pause. Brows furrowing, he tucked the map into his pocket and pulled his damp hair back with a ribbon. 

Briskly walking through the castle, he dodged conversations and other students that wanted to say hello. Sirius ducked into the library and Madam Pince immediately shot him a glare, he smiled back. Sirius slipped his way to the back of the library and saw Evans’ hair before anything else. Her red hair spilling over her shoulders as she leaned forward. With his back to them, he made it look like he was browsing at the dusty tomes in front of him and listened. A few students passed him with a wary glance, he smiled back.

Evans’ voice floated through the shelving, “Don’t worry too much Sev, it’ll all work out. If you keep frowning you’ll get wrinkles at your old age of seventeen and I don’t think even Narcissa could help.” She finished with a chuckle. 

Sirius could imagine Snape frowning harder at the taunt, but he heard a low laugh and it took him a second to realize it was Snape. “Lily, I know I’m older than you but judging how you nag you’re going to age before I do.” The sound of someone getting hit with a book stopped the laugh. “I hope you’re right about Potter though, if anything he’ll listen to you.” Sirius turned towards the table still hidden. He frowned, what could Snape want with James? And since when did Lily start talking to the Slytherin again?

“James really isn’t that bad, just a little strong willed,” Remus said, “especially when he finds out that there’s absolutely nothing going on with you and Lily.” 

“Remus, he doesn’t need to know about that. It’s none of his business, but I can see the appeal working in our favor. Do you care, Sev?”

There was silence until Snape spoke, “I don’t really care, most of the Slytherins know already since Avery and I. We weren’t really subtle in the common room. Also Rosier, once but that's-.”

“What since when?” Lily demanded but Sirius was still trying to process Snape and Avery. When was that even? He couldn’t remember a time where the two acted any different. “Avery Has an awful sense of humor.” That was putting it lightly, Sirius thought.

“Ever since his dad passed he changed but we didn’t last very long. We’re better off as friends anyway. And it was during a time you and I weren’t talking so,” Snape trailed off. Their table settled in a heavy silence. The stillness awkward.

While the table was having a crisus, Sirus was having one of his own. Sirius’ head spun from the new information. Snape was gay or at the very least into guys, and he didn’t care if people knew. It wasn’t exactly unheard of in the Wizarding world but it wasn’t common, or at least regular public knowledge most of the time. He didn’t even think Snape was interested in anyone.

But why would telling James matter? He knew his best mate could be a bit possessive of Lily, maybe this was the solution they came to? Why was Remus here though? Was Remus gay? Was he? No, no he wasn’t. That much he knew, Sirius can’t spiral like this. To top it off Snape was with Rosier and Avery… didn’t he see Avery talking to him at the Yule Ball? He thought they were just mates, guess they were more than that.

“-eply to that letter before he thinks you’re ignoring him,” Lily said, “And I should go, I promised to meet James to study for Herbology. Oh shut up Severus!” Sirius missed a portion of the conversation. He couldn’t hear Snape’s reply if there was one. The sound of chairs scraping against the stone made him pause at the shelves. Lily bid the other two boys farewell, completely missing Sirius who pressed himself as close to the shelves as possible.

“Well, that’s settled for now,” Remus started, “but thanks for trusting me with this.”

Snape scoffed. “With what we’ve been doing Lupin, ah, Remus , there would have to be some trust if that wasn’t apparent.” What were they doing together? Remus has been vague too about becoming fast friends with him. There’s no way this is just about studying. “Your blind trust is honestly disgusting,” he sneered, which made Sirius bristle wanting to step out and defend Moony. Remus just laughed. “Suppose you’re right though, maybe things would’ve been different for us if Black and Potter weren’t such wankers. It’s a shame since you’re quite smart.”

“Is that a compliment?” Sirius knew Moony was smiling when he asked. “Well, there’s also my other problem but I’m glad we’re friends now even if it’s in our final year.” A pause. “Sirius and James can be a lot but they are my best mates, they’ve been there for me. We’re like family.” Another breath, and Sirius felt his chest swell with love. “They’re really quite harmless, you and Sirius are more similar than you think.” Snape sputtered in indignation and Sirius had to agree, him and the snake - please. “I know, I know. But if you’re going to be hanging out with Lily, there’s going to be James, and if James is there so is Sirius. Plus, I think Sirius wants to be your friend or something. He won’t tell me what happened between you two, but something is different.”

“Nothing happened. And you’re being too bold Lupin,” he replied with narrow eyes.

Remus sighed and his friend left the library with a quiet goodbye to the lone Slytherin. The sound of shuffling of parchment was the only noise now besides other students whispering to each other at other tables. The Gryffindor peered between the shelves and watched as Snape took a broken quill and used it to twist his hair up exposing a pale neck. Snape unrolled a new piece of parchment and let his outer robes hang off the back of his chair. Under his robes, he wore a grey sweater vest and the white button-up sat neatly on his body.

Sirius watched a little longer when the feeling of him being stalkerish set in. He stood a moment longer before making up his mind. He just wanted to talk anyway, about what he wasn’t sure yet.

“Hey Snape!” He called, with an easy grin, as loudly as he could without setting off Madam Pince, stepping out from the shelves. The other boy jumped and ink dripped on his fresh parchment. Sirius winced, that was not the reaction he was hoping for. Snape glared at him as he spelled the ink blot away. “Ah, sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.” A scoff. “I just had a question.” Maybe he was laying it on a bit thick.

Snape’s eyebrow rose, “Cut the fake pleasantries. What do you want Black? If you’re looking for Lupin, he just left.” Sirius sat down opposite of him.

Sirius didn’t think this far ahead so he snatched the first thought that came to mind, “Nah, I’m not here for Moony. Erm. You got any cigarettes left?” Snape gaped at him. “I mean, I’d give you one back that I would use. Or we could smoke together, ya know.” The image of Snape on the balcony with the cigarette in between slim fingers and pink lips haunted him more than he cared to admit. The statement was more of a question and Sirius felt like a fool, talking to Snape without the animosity was harder than getting a girl to go with him to Hogsmeade. His skin felt itchy beneath his collar. 

Silence. “Are you right in the head?” Sirius didn’t know how to answer that so he just shrugged. “I might tolerate Lupin, but you and I have had one civil conversation in a place where we both didn’t have much of a choice in the matter.” He started to pack up his papers. “My year has been going very well since you and Potter left me alone, let’s keep it that way.” He stood and adjusted his robes. Sirius didn’t know why he couldn’t let this go. His hand shot out to grab the Sytherin’s thin wrist as he passed by. Whirling with his wand out, Snape glared. “Don’t touch me.” He released it and backed up a step.

“Look, it’s our last year and you’re not as much of a git as I thought,” he  blurted out and then cringed, Merlin opening his trap is making things worse. It was no wonder Moony always told him he had his foot in his mouth. “And Remus says you’re okay then that’s good enough for me.”

“Oh, I’m glad Lupin put in a good word,” he sneered, sarcasm dripping with every word. “You and I will never get along. Just fucking leave me alone.” And with that Snape pushed past him and left Sirius standing alone in the back stacks of the quiet library feeling more than a little lost.

Chapter Text

“Hey Snape!” A voice boomed through the hallway, and Severus fought the instinct to curl his shoulders or run away. He was being hounded, literally. Other students turned their heads to see who was yelling. People scuttled out of the way as Black came jogging up to him. Avery, who was a few steps ahead, inclined his head, but Severus shook his head no. He can handle Black on his own.

“Black,” he said the name in an exasperated sigh. 

“So what class you got next?” He asked, walking beside him.

“The same one you have. The same one we’ve had all year.” He quickened his steps. “ Why are you still talking to me? Thought I made it clear I didn’t want to make friends or whatever is that you’re doing. If this is a set up to a prank I have no qualms about hexing you here and now.” The door to the Transfiguration classroom opened with Black following closely behind him.

“Nope, no pranks here. I’m done with that.”

Severus shot him a disbelieving look. “I’ll believe it when I see it.” He took his usual seat and immediately rolled his eyes when Black sat down next to him. 

Lily and Potter walked in a moment later both of them shooting the pair confused and concerned looks. Potter looked even stupider beside Lily but Black just waved lazily at his friend. Lily looked about ready to fight in the middle of the classroom but Severus just sighed. 

As she passed by him, she leaned into his ear. “If he tries anything, I’ll hex him later.” With a glare at Black she settled into her seat next to Potter who looked ecstatic about his new desk partner.

“I didn’t know you and Evans were on talking terms again.”

Severus felt anger surge through him, “Yes, well it’s none of your business, is it?” Black was about to retort when Professor McGonagall walked in calling for attention.

“Today, we will be doing partial transformations. Not on each other, don’t get excited.” As a wave of excitement rippled through the class. “Choose an animal and repeat the spell written on the board, envision what you want to achieve.” As she spoke, her paw transformed into a cat’s paw and then a hoof. “I will go over the components of what the spell means. And who wants to tell me the base spell that we work off of? Anyone? Mr.Longbottom, thank you.”

And then wands were in the air, the class muttering the words. Exclamations of shock and laughter surrounded Severus. He wrote down meticulous notes and practiced the spell to himself before speaking it aloud. Black next to him rocked back before getting up and wandering over to some other people commenting on the horns, paws, and tails sprouting from various body parts.

Severus picked up his wand and flicked it. His hand, he watched in curiosity, as it morphed into a black cat’s paw. He moved it around, he poked at it with his other hand. The pad was so sensitive and warm. “Nice paw.” He looked up to find Black standing next to him. Black watched the paw flex. Severus focused and pushed out the sharp claws. But Black just laughed and fell into his seat. He flicked his wand carelessly repeating the spell. A black shaggy dog paw materialised into existence. 

Their eyes met and Black’s eyes twinkled. “Aw don’t be like that Snape. Don’t ignore me.” Rolling his own, he turned when he saw a flicker of movement. He jerked his head and found Black’s wand was pointed to his head. With an unsure hand his human hand found something on the top of his head. Soft and silky, it twitched under his finger tips.

“Did you just give me cat ears?” He hissed out. Black looked entirely enthralled at the ears that sprouted from the top of his head. Severus picked up his wand and shot the spell at Black. Pointed dog ears formed out of wild curls. 

Eyes wide, Black felt for his own matching set. “Oh, it’s on.” Black twitched his wand, the spell half formed but Severus stood moving out of the way. Pettigrew unfortunately got caught in the spell and had whiskers on his face. Severus fired one back but Black dodged ducking. The two shot the spell back and forths, students watching and ducking behind their own desks. 

Professor McGonagol yelled, “Stop this at once.” She stormed over to them, fury blazing behind her spectacles. Severus' chest heaved. He still had one cat paw, ears twitched on his head and the tail he could feel swishing agitated back and forth. Black wasn’t any better, sharp canines hung over his lip and fur disappeared up his rolled school shirt. “I expected better of both of you this year! You could’ve been hurt or hurt another student.” With a snap of the wrist she cancelled the spells. “Detention, both of you.” Severus knew better to say Black started it, they weren’t twelve anymore. He clenched his jaw. Perfect. “Come see me after dinner.” She swept back to her desk and rattled off safety in practicing spells.

Severus glared down at his blank parchment. Black sat silently next to him for the rest of class and didn’t follow him out when the professor finally let them leave. 

Black was already standing outside the Transfiguration room, his foot propped up on the stone wall. He fiddled with his wand. His head swiveled as he heard Snape approach but he didn’t even glance at him. Dinner was a chore with people asking if he really had ears and a tail.

He just wanted this detention to be over with, so he could get back to his other projects that were beginning to pile up. Professor McGonogal sat at her desk barely glancing up as they walked in. They stood in front of her feeling very much like first years again. 

She sighed and put her quill down, finally looking at each of them in turn. “Your final year. Seventh years,” she paused, “I know you two boys don’t get along, and that might be putting it mildly.” Severus wanted to scoff. “But I want to tell you, I have seen both of your efforts this year. So tell me why you both decided to completely disrupt class today.”

Silence. Severus stared straight ahead while he could feel Black fidget next to him, he was somewhat surprised he wasn’t immediately thrown to the dogs.

“Listen to me, you are both wizards of age. Could you please start acting like it? You two will be reorganizing those books and scrolls by skill level, together. I have to step out. But I will be back. And when I return those books better be tidy and not a desk out of place.” She rolled up the parchment and left. 

The silence was broken by Black scuffing his shoe against the floor. “Look, I’m sorry about the ears.” 

Severus just stared at him, the down trodden expression. Pathetic. He picked up the first book and placed it on a nearby desk. Second year, advanced spell casting on inanimate objects. 

Snape.” He ignored him. Black was closer now, just hovering. “Snape,” he called again. Severus picked up another book, making another stack. “Snape, could you just look at me!”

He spun holding the book. “What? What do you want?”

Black stood a bit stunned. “Are you really going to ignore me all night?”

“No, not all night because we will not be here all night. You can sit down if you’re not gonna help.” Another book right on top of a level three textbook on Basic Conjuring. 

“I meant it, ya know, I’m sorry about class and detention. Merlin, I’ve been trying to avoid trouble this year too,” he tugged at his hair.

“And yet here we are because you couldn’t resist mocking me.”

“It wasn’t mocking! It’s something me and the lads would do. I thought it would be funny.”

Severus glared. “Did it look like I was laughing? What if you didn’t cast correctly! I could’ve lost my head!”

“But you didn’t! And you didn’t have to do the same to me.”
“And what, just let it go?” Pick up a book, into the stack. Black came over and picked up a scroll setting it down next to a pile. “That shouldn’t go there.” He went to grab for it but Black pulled it away from him. 

“Why not? Principles of Transfiguration and the Foundations of Spell Crafting. Could be a first year book.”

“Can you think of a single first year who would read this?”

“I bet you did,” he said in a way that it was a fact. Nothing taunting. Severus could feel the heat of the blush around his neck because he did actually read it in his first year. “Knew it. But I also read it too.”

“You did not.” 

Black raised a brow. “I did. The chapter of layering spells and using anchoring elements was very interesting.” Severus was speechless, the idiot could read. He shouldn’t be surprised with how creative the band of Gryffindor idiots were with their pranks - spells and charms alike. “I do like learning and Transfiguration is what I’m best at. Like you and potions.”

Severus stood there speechless, a thick book sitting heavy in his arms. Black placed the scroll in his pile and picked up another. They passed the rest of detention in silence. Picking up and placing books and scrolls, occasionally one of them would move one’s placement but it was met with their eyes locking instead of an argument.

Professor McGonogall came back as Black placed the last book down. Seven piles based on difficulty and content matter sat on the desks. She scanned the titles and nodded. “Very good. Now, I want this to be the last time I have to give you two detention. Do you understand? Now off with you.”

Severus picked up his book bag. He was exhausted, yawning as he was about to push the door open when Black rushed over to open it for him. Black grinned, lazy and wide. Severus glared and made his way towards the dungeons.

Chapter Text

Severus threw himself back into potion research and spell creation that he started during the break. He had a while until the next full moon so he didn’t bother tweaking Wolfsbane since the past results were much better than expected. The correspondence with Potter Sr. has been going well so far and who knew that such a brilliant mind could spawn an idiot like Lily’s boyfriend. Honestly it was a bit dismaying. As days crept closer to spring, winter nights still clung on with dark clouds that gave way to brilliant clear starry skies.

He trudged up to the owlery to send off the latest replies to Lord Potter and Narcissa. He had to bribe the sleepy barn owl with a couple of treats before he was allowed to attach his letters. Maybe he should get his own bird since he finally had the funds for it and people to talk to. 

Pulling the thick winter cloak that Narcissa insisted on getting, he walked slowly back to the castle. Not wanting to go back to the busy common room just yet he made the climb to the astronomy tower. His breath came out in puffs, maybe he should start exercising. Severus could see the smirk on Lucius' face at the thought. 

The castle was quiet from up here and the stars glittered like dew drops against the dark blue sky. Spare telescopes were left unattended around the open space. He rested his elbows on the railing and just breathed beginning to meditate, clearing his mind of all unnecessary thoughts. 

A foot scuffing behind him caused Severus to turn and in the gloom, a student coming up the stairs was casting a weak Lumos. Walking into the starlight, Sirius Black stood at the top of the Astronomy tower steps looking at him with a small smile. Severus stared back caught between annoyance and incredulity. What the bloody hell did he want now?

“Hey Snape! Bloody cold up here,” he said in greeting, joining him at the railing.

“Are you stalking me Black?” He blurted. The other boy actually looked nervous, and Severus didn’t even have his wand pointed at his throat. Maybe he was plotting something. Black denied it with a sputtered response that made him grimace. 

Severus already pushed away from the railing before hearing whatever response Black was going to spout and headed towards the stairs. He should’ve just gone back to the common room.

“Hey, no wait. You were here first, I’ll go.”

That made him pause, he felt Black come closer behind him. What was the other boy playing at? He turned and squinted at him through the dim. “Black, why are you up here? What do you really want?” He asked, repeating his question from the day in the library.

Black looked towards the stars for a moment, took a deep breath and faced him. “How about I start with I’m sorry.” Severus stood rooted to the spot, he wasn’t expecting an apology and he didn’t want one - not now after all this time. How much pain and misery this boy had caused him. It didn’t help that Black’s words mirrored his own when talking to Lily just earlier this week. “I know, a little too late and I have too much to apologize for, especially for last year with Moony, for the past six years and everything I’ve said. Obviously you don’t have to forgive me but I wanted it said. I know I was a right git and downright awful to you. There is no excuse I can give because there shouldn’t be one.” The words came out as a rush, and Black stumbled and halted over some of his words. When he finished the two stood there staring at each other in the silence. “Erm, Snape?”

Severus looked into gray eyes and took in his wind swept black hair that was as dark as his own. The way Black was missing his tie and his winter cloak was slipping over a broad shoulder. Black bit his lip but held his gaze. “Black, what the bloody hell,” he finally replied, running a hand through his hair. He watched Black follow the movement. “No. I won’t forgive you. I can’t. Not after the hell you put me through and the shit you’ve said to my face and behind my back,” Severus said, pushing a finger into Black’s chest. “I don’t want your half-assed apology, I don’t know why you decided to grow a conscience now but I don’t really care. I know I gave it as good as I’ve got. It was always four versus one. But you were so unnecessarily cruel from the beginning because I was what? Poor? A Slytherin? I did nothing to you and you still harassed me with your words and actions at every chance. Why? I never understood it. From the very first day on the train. What was your reason?” His voice cracked at the end. He was panting slightly now and he stared up at the other boy who was wide-eyed and slack jawed. Severus could feel the sting in his eyes. Turning away heading back to the railing and relishing in the cold breeze on his face, he would not let Black see him cry. The last thing he needed was to hear ‘snivellus’ and live up to that horrid name after all these years.

“Snape, I,” Black started and then just stopped. Severus could feel Black beside him now, a warming charm casting over him like a blanket. Severus’ gaze snapped to look at him. “I’m really sorry, and what I said then doesn’t even apply to you now. Looking back I don’t think it applied then either.” Severus frowned trying to understand what he meant and waited for Black to continue but when he didn’t they just stood in silence again. This time though it wasn’t as strained. Severus felt so tired and strung out.

“No. Stop. I,” Severus paused and gazed out, “I just want a better life and I’m on the way to achieve that. I’m not even going to try and understand why you would want to apologize to me now. I’m not going to forgive you, but I’m going to try and let this go. I don’t need nor want your apology.” 

Black watched him. With a sigh Severus turned back towards the stairs and headed down with steady steps, he wasn’t running away he told himself. He just didn’t know how to deal with Black’s apologies and not how sad he looked when Severus was turning away. A small mercy is that there were no footsteps following him down.

Ignoring the call from some of his friends, he briskly walked through the common room and straight into his dorm. Kicking off his shoes, he climbed into bed then drew the curtains closed. Casting a silencing charm, Severus turned on his side and refused to cry. After all these years, an apology for what? Did he think a few words would take away years of pain, misery and torment? He took a shuddering breath in. Bugger him, he didn’t need an apology, he just wanted to be left alone.