Work Text:
She woke up knowing it was going to be a bad day. Kate could feel in her bones, the storm, the ache, the memories. And her leg gave out the second she tried to get up from her bed.
All her doctors said it healed well, a miracle for the hell it endured during the storm, but regardless of their bland, sympathy-filled words, it still hurt on her worst days. Google said it was probably nerves, pinched or damaged or being pulled at by the scar tissue that formed on her thigh. But regardless of the reason, Kate would not be having a good morning.
She groaned from her spot on the ground, throwing her arm over her face and debating on just staying there. But no, she had a job to do, most of the crew was gone today, out for repairs and new gear for their trucks. So, it was just her at home, which meant she had to check that the barn was secured, that it would withstand the coming storm and not leak, and that everything on the farm was set.
Staying on the ground wasn’t an option, regardless of the agony in her leg and the storm in her head. Kate allowed herself two breaths before she grabbed the edge of her bed and pulled herself up. She tested her leg, the flaring pain had thrown her off because she wasn’t expecting it, but now -
Kate was well practiced in breathing through the pain, in continuing on with her life like the world hadn’t ended, like the world wasn’t ending now.
She winced with every step she took as she headed towards her door, only pausing to bend down and grab some jacket that was discarded on her floor. It was large on her, probably one of her Mom’s, but it did its job. It covered what her sleeping shorts didn’t, the end of her scar disappearing beneath the navy fabric.
It helped a little, the storm tearing through her head easing up ever so slightly. She had gotten better at it over the years - surviving. She took the time to drink her coffee, to go over the list of things she knew to be true, (My name is Kate Carter, I am twenty-seven years old, I have a degree in meteorology, I am alive, I did not die five years ago. She wore heavy clothes to protect her skin from rain and battering wind. She did not dive head-first into a tornado.
Kate carefully made her way down the stairs, a white-knuckle grip on the railing as the sound of rain poured over her. It was fine, it was just a little storm, she loved rain, it was fine. She was - Kate flinched hard as something cracked in the distance, probably a tree branch finally giving in to the wind.
Fuck. She couldn’t let go of the railing, her leg screamed, Addy screamed, hand outstretched and then she was gone, gone, gone, gone.
Her breathing went from shaky to near non-existent.
She lowered herself down, sitting at the end of the steps and trying to breathe, in and out, in and out. Hold for one, two, three, breathe out for one, two, three. In and out, in and out. Come on Carter, get up, you’ve survived worse, get the fuck up.
But she couldn’t make her legs work, she couldn’t force her hand to unclench the death grip it had on the stair’s railing, she couldn’t look away from the storm outside the window, the rain battering against the house, the trees swaying and bending and breaking. Kate was alive and in her house, and her leg was on fire as she pressed herself against the hard concrete of an underpass that wouldn’t survive the hour.
In and - Praveen’s laughter cut off, the horrific lack of him, there and then gone and gone and - out. In and - Addy, her wide smile as she leaned out the window, the glint in her eyes as she painted her nails because being a storm chaser doesn’t mean i can’t have style, her chipped nail polish as she reached out, the startled look in her eyes as she was hit - out. In and - lips pressed to the side of her head, Jeb breaking down in laughter after confusing the shit out of some poor nun, his breath against her neck, the wave of coldness as he was torn away - out.
Kate panted, in and out, in and out, in and out. Come on Carter, just fucking breathe, just breathe. But she couldn’t, she couldn’t force the air out of her lungs, she couldn’t ground herself in the present, and so she slipped between the memories.
The Before - Praveen and Addy and Jeb, the laughter turned to silence, the howl of the storm, the blood carving a path down her leg. The pain radiating through her body as she forced herself to take one step after another, one foot in front of the other as she crawled through the wreckage around her. Javi’s face as he saw her, as he realized she was the only one left.
The After - New York’s jarring noise, the rumble of a train in her body, the way the track looked so damn enticing for just a moment and she wasn’t killing herself, she was righting the scales. Her mother’s ringtone echoing through her tiny apartment, the shattering of glass as she threw a bottle of wine, the blood that had dripped through her fingers as she picked up a shard and clenched.
The Storm - Her utter terror as she realized Tyler was trapped, her panic, the constant loop of no, not him, not again, no. The tornado slowly creeping forward, the realization, the moment she decided to die for them, to right the scales because she should’ve died five years ago, so it was only fair she went like this, for a reason. Being thrown around in the truck, blood rushing to her head, burning in her mouth.
She couldn’t, she couldn’t breathe, and she shouldn’t be alive and she needed to run, she needed to, she had to -
The crack of the front door, and a familiar voice, “Kate? Kate!” A hand hovered over the side of her face, and someone blocked her from the window. Tyler came into view, soaking wet and his eyes wide, terrified, “What the hell happened? Are you okay?”
“I -” She choked on the words, on the rainwater pouring down her throat and filling her lungs. Kate needed, Tyler’s hands were warm against her cheek, she needed, “The bathroom, we have to hide, we have to go.”
Her thoughts were falling apart, they were slipping between her fingers like the broken petals of a dandelion. They needed a room with no windows and as much protection as possible. They needed to hunker down and pray that the storm passed them.
For a moment it seemed like he was going to argue, and she fought the urge to grab him and run, but then something slid over his eyes. Tyler nodded, “Okay, we’ll go there, come on, you and me. You and me.” Kate went to stand, Tyler hovering beside her, but the second she put weight on her leg pain ricocheted up her body.
She let out a strangled groan, lurching forward as she lost her balance. But before Kate could hit the floor, Tyler grabbed her waist, steadying her. He looked her over, his eyes pausing as saw her leg, her jacket having ridden up at some point, as he saw the twisted scar running down her thigh. Tyler winced, her knuckles going white from her grip on his arms, the storm still battering away outside. “Okay, okay, I’m gonna carry you, Kate. It's just me.”
She barely managed a nod, she was being irrational, she was being stupid, but the storm was in her bones and some days she thought she never really made it out of the tornado five years ago. If she was thinking logically she would know it was the past few weeks catching up to her, she would know it was the past five years hitting her again, the barely healed wound being torn open from what she had just survived. But Kate wasn’t being logical, she was drowning and drowning and -
Tyler picked her up, shifting her weight so he could lift her up, careful to avoid putting pressure on her leg. Later she would love him for that, for the way he tucked her face against his neck, for the way his hand kept tapping a pattern on her shoulder to try and ground her, for the way he didn’t hesitate to help her. For now, she just held on.
He kicked open the door to the bathroom, stumbling in before slamming it shut behind him, the thud making her flinch deeper into him. Kate gritted her teeth, stuck between waves of fear and grief and the sort of terror that made her freeze. She couldn’t think, she couldn’t do anything but hold on and pray that some part of her made it out of this whole.
He went to sit her down in the tub, but she dug her nails into his arms. An instinctive shriek dying in her throat. “No!” She managed, every part of her was screaming that if Tyler left her field of vision, if he let go of her, then he would disappear, he would be gone and she’d never find him again. “Don’t - Don’t.”
She couldn’t even reason with him, just held tighter and prayed he’d see the utter panic in her eyes, the way she was internally screaming i know i’m losing my mind but god, please don’t go, please.
Tyler stared at her like he had the moment before she looked towards him when they found her in the wreckage of his truck, a look of utter fear, pleading, begging, a look she knew well. He looked at her like he loved her, and the thought of her dead or dying or hurt was the worst thing he could imagine.
Without a word he lifted her up higher, high enough that he could step into the tub, still in his muddy boots and soaked clothes. Somehow, he managed to get both of them down, the two of them pressed so closely together in the old tub that she could feel every subtle movement. The rise and fall of his chest, the way his hands shook slightly against her back as she pressed herself closer to him.
Kate closed her eyes, taking shaking, trembling breaths as she tightened her grip on his shirt, her face pressed right against his heart. She was okay, she was alive and she had been for years, they had survived the storms, they were okay. Her leg screamed and Jeb was dead and Addy was reaching out for her and Praveen was gone and -
A hand cupped her head, fingers gently stroking her hair. Tyler’s chest rumbled when he spoke in a low, comforting tone, “You’re alive, we’re both alive and we’re safe. There are no tornadoes anywhere close to forming near us. We’re okay, everyone's okay. I got you, I got you.”
She could hear it, his heartbeat right beneath her ear. It might have been the most comforting thing she’d ever heard. Bum-bum-bum-bum. Tyler’s chest rose and fell, his arms tucked around her, and despite being soaked from the rain he was somehow almost unbearably warm. He kept talking, first reassurances, and then upon realizing it was calming her down, about anything and everything.
Kate just kept her eyes closed, memorizing the beat of his heart, memorizing the way his arms felt around her, memorizing the way she felt - safe, safe. It had been so long since she had felt that, whole, safe, alive, warm.
Little by little the storm in her head dissipated, the clouds drifting apart until the tiny, cramped downstairs bathroom came into view. Her head was tucked against Tyler’s chest, his arms around her, the two of them a mess of limbs in the tiny bathtub her mother had insisted on having in the bathroom because Katie cannot go a day without being covered in mud, I ain’t having that dirt be tracked throughout my entire house.
Her breathing evened out, and she felt utterly exhausted, a bone-deep sort that replaced the shrieking terror deep within her. She was alive, and it was a bad day and she should have known that the past few weeks would have caught up with her eventually. She was alive, and Tyler had found her in the middle of a panic attack and had carried her to the bathroom, and despite the oddness of it all, he had damn near cradled her in a bathtub just because she had asked.
She was an idiot for ever thinking this man didn’t care about people with everything he got.
Her voice was broken, hollow, almost an echo rather than an actual sound, “Shoulda sta-stayed in bed.”
Tyler paused, his hand freezing above her head before it returned to stroking her hair. He didn’t push her off him, rather his arms tightened around her slightly trembling body. If she didn’t know any better, she’d say he sighed in relief. “You with me, Kate?”
Her hands twitched against his arm, her head still braced against his chest, against the soothing bum-bum-bum. Kate couldn’t have pulled away from him if she tried. “Yeah, I -” She was so damn tired, but she had dragged Tyler through the house and into this cramped tub for god knows how long. She needed to explain. “I had a bad day.”
Despite it falling short of a proper explanation, it was all she got. Kate never had any explanation for it, when it happened, what set it off, how bad it was, or how long it lasted. She just - She had bad days, and sometimes her bad days were really fucking bad.
She had gotten better at managing it over the years, staying home and drinking warm coffee, lighting scented candles, and wearing soft clothes, reminding herself with every little thing that she was alive and that was a good thing. But sometimes she didn’t catch in time, or like today, it just hit her all at once and she - she broke. There were no better words for it.
Kate tensed slightly, as much as she could with what little strength she had left, waiting for Tyler’s questions and the hundreds of things she owed him. Instead, and she shouldn't have doubted him for even a second, she got, “It happens.” Like it was that easy. Tyler didn’t push he just, he just held her and she shouldn’t have expected anything else.
He was still stroking her hair, still holding her, still keeping her close. It must have been awkward, Kate could maybe comfortably fit in the tub, curled up and having a panic attack, but Tyler had several inches on her. He couldn’t be comfortable.
She needed to get up, she needed to go back to her room and hide from the past and him and the utter warmth she had felt tucked against his body. But Kate - Kate couldn’t manage to do anything but close her eyes again, but breathe in sync with Tyler, their hearts slowly learning to follow the same beat. “Can we,” Her voice cracked and she gritted her teeth again, “Can we stay here, please?”
It was selfish but she needed the world to stay small for now. She needed everything to be shrunken down to the walls around them and Tyler’s arms around her and his steady heartbeat. She just needed to breathe with him for now.
She could hear the familiar smile in his voice, could picture it perfectly, “Course we can, this is more comfortable than any bed I’ve slept on.”
Kate found herself smiling, a barely there thing that was more like her lips twitching, but still - Tyler Owens somehow made her smile after all that and really, she’s gotta stop being surprised by him. “Liar.”
“Your liar.” Oh, oh. That sounded closer to the truth than he had meant. But Tyler was Tyler, he had never quite learned how to back away from a burning fire. His voice was softer, “Yours.”
Oh, oh.
She moved just a little bit, tilting her head up so she could see his face. Tyler met her eyes, steady and sure. Kate didn’t have enough in her for confessions or conversations or the dozens of things they needed to talk about. But she managed, “Goes both ways.” And he knew what she meant, he always did.
Tyler smiled, soft and warm and safe, and wasn’t that a goddamn miracle? He leaned down slightly, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. And he held her.
He held her and Kate listened to his heartbeat rather than the storm roaring outside. It was the loveliest thing she’d ever heard.