Work Text:
“Alright, listen up.” Iwaizumi folded his arms across his chest, looking as intimidating as he possibly could as he addressed the members of the JNT as they prepared to enter the Olympic village. “You all are representing Japan. The whole world is watching. There will be no screwing around, no horseplay. I don't want to see any of your names in the news for anything except earning medals. Understood?”
Everyone in the room obediently chorused, “Yes, Iwaizumi-san!” at various levels of enthusiasm.
Iwaizumi trusted them as far as he could throw them.
*
The first video showed up online roughly twenty minutes later. Seeing as the opening ceremony hadn't even commenced yet, there was not a single medal mentioned in the video.
There was, however, crystal clear footage of Bokuto jumping up and down on a bed until the cardboard somehow managed to crack and he tumbled down to the ground. Hinata and Komori were giggling in the background.
*
JNT damage control chat
Kuroo: Iwaizumi, did you see?
Iwaizumi: Already on my way.
*
“What possessed you to destroy your bed?” Iwaizumi demanded. “And who was filming?”
Suna waved his camera.
Hinata bowed, appropriately subdued by Iwaizumi's firm questions. “We didn't believe that he could break it when we challenged him to break it, if that counts for anything.”
“I can sleep on the scraps!” Bokuto added, arranging the remaining cardboard into a nest. “I learned this trick from Akaashi!”
Iwaizumi groaned. Kuroo arrived to film an apology video and the damage was thus controlled.
And at least they'd gotten their juvenile energy out quickly. No more shenanigans, right?
Right.
*
JNT damage control chat
Kuroo: tell me I did not just see Hakuba almost blow out the Olympic torch on live fucking television
Kuroo: please.
Kuroo: I am begging you
Iwaizumi: I don't need to tell you. You can just watch the roughly six thousand videos that captured it in every possible direction
Kuroo: oh god
Kuroo: this is a disaster
Kuroo: but I mean, the kid's got lungs. There's got to be a positive spin here.
Iwaizumi: the kid is literally your age. And yeah. Don't tell him, but I'm pretty sure he has a superhuman lung capacity.
*
In the time it took for Kuroo to issue a formal apology to the IOC begging them not to disqualify the team, Iwaizumi got back to his room for a moment's peace.
He did not get a moment's peace.
He got a text message from Hinata that the bedding in his and Kageyama's room had been replaced.
“We think Oikawa-san is behind it,” Hinata explained as he opened the door for Iwaizumi.
“What do you mean?” The words died on Iwaizumi's tongue when he looked inside.
The bright blue of the Argentinian flag greeted him. It was on the bedspread. It was on the floor in the form of a plush rug. It was on the walls, flags hanging from every corner.
“It’s kind of comfortable, to be honest,” Hinata added.
“What do you want us to do, Iwaizumi-san?” Kageyama asked.
“Officially, absolutely nothing.” Iwaizumi pinched the bridge of his nose. “Unofficially, I suppose this means war.”
*
JNT damage control chat
Iwaizumi: he also got Atsumu's room and Suna’s and Komori’s
Kuroo: I'd say I regret inviting him to the all-stars match but alas. I saw the look on Atsumu's face and this was kind of worth it
Kuroo: oh and the committee is not kicking us out of the Olympics!
Iwaizumi: yet.
Iwaizumi: the IOC hasn't kicked us out of the Olympics yet.
*
The next day brought an end to the shenanigans is what Iwaizumi wanted to say. Instead, he was looking at a picture of Oikawa Tooru in the JNT women's volleyball outfit.
Oikawa had posted the picture approximately two minutes ago and Iwaizumi had gotten sixtyseven texts from everyone from Kuroo to his mother asking if he'd seen the picture.
It was captioned, “Someone replaced my uniform overnight, but I think I wear it better anyhow.”
He was smiling and winking at the camera. Iwaizumi groaned.
His phone pinged with a sixty-eighth message.
*
JNT damage control chat
Kuroo: I don't think we have to do anything about this, right?
Iwaizumi: I think it's best if we don't even acknowledge it.
Kuroo: I notice a certain Sugawara-san commenting on the picture about ten times, you know
Iwaizumi: I don't know anything about that.
*
Iwaizumi supposed he shouldn't have been surprised when the next bed was destroyed. If anything, he was thankful that was all that happened, because things had been quiet for an entire 24 hours previously.
He'd been expecting something on the level of an earthquake catastrophe. Instead, it was just a video of far too many members of the JNT having an incredibly all too intense pillow fight.
Number of destroyed beds: three.
He was stalking down the hallway to set everyone straight when he heard a voice coming out of Komori's room.
It was not a voice of one of his athletes.
He allowed them the dignity of exactly one knock before pushing the door open.
“Seriously?” Iwaizumi sighed. “Osamu?”
“Kinda hoped we could distract you long enough with the pillow fight to spend some time with our boyfriend,” Suna said, looking maybe about ten percent guilty. Komori just nodded his agreement from where he was sitting on Osamu's lap.
“So go meet up with him for a coffee or at the park and don't bring him back to the rooms when we're already under intense scrutiny!” Iwaizumi pointed firmly at the door.
He also questioned a few of his life choices, but that was eased when team Japan finally had their first match that evening and delivered a solid win.
*
The next few days passed in a blur of matches, managing athletes, and, thankfully, no more broken beds. Iwaizumi had already scrolled through the endless memes; the JNT destroying larger and larger buildings with their pillow fight was getting really popular.
Oikawa's picture from earlier was also circulating again.
Iwaizumi's temples were starting to ache.
He took a few Motrin, drank half of his water bottle and headed to the cafeteria.
Instant regret.
A clump of athletes had gathered at a table, though most of them parted like a wave when Iwaizumi approached. Standing at the table, his bleached hair now a shocking pink, was Atsumu. He glared at Oikawa.
“Can you prove it was me?” Oikawa asked. “You cannot.”
“Your smug looking face is the only proof I need!”
“I'm allowed to be amused by the situation. Ah! Iwa-chan!” The last bit came out as a bit of a squeak, but Oikawa recovered quickly. “I love what you're doing with your player's hair!”
Iwaizumi crossed his arms over his chest and attempted his best glare. Of course Oikawa was somewhat immune to it, but he did wilter a fraction.
“Come on,” Iwaizumi told Atsumu, “It won't affect your ability to play. Hash it out on the court.”
Atsumu made a face, but he nodded. “Joke’s on you.” He pointed to Oikawa as he left. “I bet yer teammates will be the ones most distracted by my fun new color.”
Iwaizumi shook his head. Could have been worse.
*
JNT damage control chat
Kuroo: …it's too quiet
Iwaizumi: why. Why would you say that??
Kuroo: felt right.
Iwaizumi: I'd like to think the matches are settling them down a bit.
Kuroo: there's lots of things I'd like to think too
Kuroo: hey are you watching the news?
Kuroo: nevermind.
Kuroo: pretend I didn't say anything
Kuroo: oh god
*
Iwaizumi didn't want to turn on the news. He could just leave the team. Head to somewhere in America where no one knew him.
But his pride in his job had him opening the Internet to find out what was going on now.
It didn't take long. He put his phone down and sighed.
He couldn't just leave Kuroo to it.
*
“You know, most people have this impression that the Japanese team is highly regimented, very polite, one might even offer the word boring. But this year, the JNT has pressed back against those stereotypes. We're here with Ushijima Wakatoshi, who has kindly offered to comment on this developing situation for us.”
The reporter held up her microphone to Ushijima, who nodded as though his life depended on it.
“My teammates felt that we should give back to the community. I believe their plan was to distribute branded merchandise to citizens in need. At this time, I'm unsure how it escalated.”
The camera panned out to show Hinata and Kageyama trying to put out a fire with a blanket emblazoned with Sakusa's face and jersey number. Atsumu, impossible to miss with his new hairstyle, wielded a fire extinguisher with surprising skill and grace, like maybe he’d done this a time or two. Suna was recording everything. The other members of the team were helping to escort civilians to safety.
Sirens echoed in the background, growing louder with each moment.
*
JNT damage control chat
Iwaizumi: I'm moving to America.
Kuroo: Not if I get there first.
*
In the end, it was Suna who saved the day. He was able to use his footage to show how the JNT had simply shown up at the wrong time and how they'd worked quickly to try to help with the disaster.
The news lauded them as heroes, Osamu arrived on scene with a frankly impressive amount of onigiri to hand out, and Komori worked the crowd, keeping everyone calm until the proper authorities arrived.
*
“I'd say you guys should be proud of yourselves, but…” Iwaizumi paused, mentally reviewing the last two weeks. “Ok, yes, I mean, you should be proud of our wins, especially against Argentina. For no other reason than the fact that it was a hard earned victory, of course.”
There were a few snickers, but even Atsumu, his hair a softer pink now, kept his mouth shut. Too bad they couldn't have done that from the beginning.
“I'm sure I'll be seeing many of your faces four years from now. Let's not do this–” he gestured to the Olympic village behind him like they could see the broken beds and wavering flames of the Olympic torch and that damn meme of the team having a pillow fight and knocking down the Eiffel Tower. “–again. But the victories? Yeah, let's pencil in another gold for 2028.”