Chapter Text
There’s something very special, Lan Zhan often thinks, about the way Wei Ying’s chattering is able to set him at ease.
“-and so I tried to tell him otherwise, but you know what he’s like, Lan Zhan, won’t take no for an answer, that stuck up, pompous-”
It’s a sort of peace, perhaps. Not quite the calm, solitary sort of peace that he is able to achieve through meditation, but something warmer, something that settles feather-light around his chest and allows his spirit to rest for a while. Nothing is expected of him here, in this space, in the kitchen of Wei Ying’s cluttered little apartment, as his friend tears around him like a whirlwind, maintaining his steady, easy monologue the whole time.
“-oh, you should have seen it, it was just incredible. I mean, the colors, like nothing I’ve ever seen before! Really, she’s a genius, she shouldn’t be stuck here, someone should-”
He supposes that’s why Wei Ying is so important to him. His brother and uncle try their best, and he knows that, he really does. Still, in their eyes, he is a Lan first and foremost, before anything else, even before he is a brother, a nephew, a person. Love him as they may, they still expect him to uphold the reputation of that lofty name. Try to smile a little more, won’t you Wangji? Don’t frown like that, Wangji, you’re being rude. Can you at least try to engage with conversation, Wangji, for heaven’s sake?
Here with Wei Ying, he’s just Lan Zhan.
“-and Jin Ling was so annoyed, I thought he was going to explode, he takes after Jiang Cheng even though he’s A-Jie’s kid - here, Lan Zhan, take this, it’s hot - can you even believe that-”
A mug is pressed into his hands, the blue one that Lan Zhan favors and Wei Ying knows it, and he lets out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding, tension draining from his shoulders. There’s never any pressure to perform around Wei Ying. Lan Zhan can listen quietly, doesn’t have to respond if he has nothing to say, and is still understood to be there, to be present, to be taking in his friend’s words without having to pointlessly chime in every ten seconds. He could spend forever here, quietly existing in the other man’s orbit. What a gift that would be.
“-so that’s when I thought, Lan Zhan, that it just makes sense for you and I to go ahead and get married. What do you think? Great idea, right?”
“Ah,” Lan Zhan replies eloquently, and pours half a mug of molten coffee down his shirt.
Alright, so perhaps his active listening skills could use a little work.
Wei Ying’s faded t-shirt is too tight on him, the cracked “Yunmeng Pride” logo pulled taut across his chest. Lan Zhan fights the urge to pull at the seams around his armpit. Across the table from him, a pair of silver eyes watches him cautiously over the rim of an old, chipped mug. This, he doesn’t like. Wei Ying isn’t cautious by nature, has never had cause to be cautious around him, to be careful, to mind his tongue in fear of Lan Zhan bolting.
“So,” he begins slowly, his back ramrod straight, large hands curled around his mug. “Ms. Yu has decided you’re to marry?”
The groan he gets in response is confirmation enough. Nothing follows for a long moment, until Lan Zhan prompts a low, “Because…?”
“Because, she wants me out of sight and out of mind so that Jiang Cheng can take over the company just like she always wanted him to!”
And just like that, Wei Ying is a flurry of activity again, up and out of his seat in a second to pace around the table. ‘Pacing’ is somewhat of a generous description - the kitchen isn’t large, and the smaller man makes it all of three steps before he has to turn around and come back again - but it seems to help him think, at least.
“I’ve tried telling her that I have absolutely no desire to get in the way of that, but she can’t seem to pull her head out of her ass for long enough to let that sink in. Plus, she doesn’t trust Father to actually make the call when it’s time. But I guess instead of working on their problems and actually communicating for once, it’s easier to ship the problem child off to a friend of a friend of a friend and pretend he doesn’t exist!”
He rakes his hands through his hair, eyes wild as his voice starts to climb in pitch.
“Honestly, Lan Zhan, she’s pulled some pretty vile shit over the years, but using me as a bargaining chip to secure contracts with some rich-ass old money family out in the sticks? No. No way. I won’t be part of this. I can’t. I’ve seen some of the people she’s trying to arrange matches with, and I’m sure they’re all great girls, really, but…”
For the briefest second, so quickly Lan Zhan isn’t quite sure he’s even seen it right, something that looks a lot like dread flashes across Wei Ying’s face, but it’s gone before he can question it. Instead, it’s been replaced by a determined expression that he knows all too well, his friend’s jaw setting almost stubbornly as he turns on his heel and comes to face him, hands on his hips.
“So I was thinking, you know? About how to get around this. She has a lot of power over me, I’m not stupid enough to think she doesn’t, and if I don’t say yes the first time, she’ll work out some way to trick me into it, or make Jiang Cheng’s life hell until I give in. She’s done it before, I’m sure she’ll do it again, nasty piece of work that she is. And I was thinking - Lan Zhan, stay with me here - that the only way she wouldn’t be able to force my hand into this is if I were already married! It’s genius! A perfect plan! Don’t you think so too?
The silence stretches between them for a beat too long.
It’s not that Lan Zhan’s speechless, but he’s having a hard time working through this one. Wei Ying’s schemes are, most of the time, convoluted, contrary, and, as Jin Zixuan has put it on multiple occasions, ‘batshit insane’. Usually, though, there’s some modicum of logic behind the thought process that Lan Zhan is able to follow, grasp onto with all of his might and let himself be pulled along in the wake of his brilliant, beautiful friend. This, though, he finds himself struggling with. There are too many holes in this plan, too many places for things to go wrong, for it to work. Surely Wei Ying can see that?
It’s then that Lan Zhan really looks at him, takes in how his friend’s hands aren’t as steady as they usually are, registers the dark circles under his eyes, that he realizes that maybe this time, Wei Ying is desperate.
“”So… We would marry. That’s your plan?”
His words come out a little colder than he intended, and he winces slightly. He can hear the judgment in his tone even from here.
“Exactly. See, it’s not all that complicated, right? We’d just head down to the courthouse, make a big show of things on social media for a while, make sure everyone thinks we’re good and loved up, and once things have all blown over, we can get it annulled. We don’t even have to get a divorce! I’ve looked it up, it’s way simple, I promise.”
Wei Ying takes a breath, watching him carefully, and seems to double down, mistaking Lan Zhan’s stunned silence for reticence.
“Come on, it might even pay off for both of us. I’m sure your uncle is pressuring you to settle down as well, right? To find a nice girl, get married, carry on the Lan family name? This could give you at least another year or two of freedom!”
For the first time since Wei Ying began speaking, Lan Zhan’s steady gaze loses its focus somewhat, eyes flicking down to his feet. There have been no such conversations with his uncle, but he remembers one with his brother. He does not like to recall it - not because Xichen had been cruel in his choice of words, but because of how naked he had felt under his brother’s warm, pitying gaze.
(“You should know, Wangji, that there’s no pressure on you to settle down with anyone you don’t feel comfortable with. That’s the last thing we want.”
“Mn.”
“After all, there are so many different types of people in the world. Uncle and I would much rather see you happy, whoever you end up with, if you end up with anyone at all.”
“Mn.”
“You understand what I mean, yes? What I’m trying to say?”
“...Ge?”
“...Wangji, I’ve seen the way you look at him. I’m not a fool. I just want to make sure you know that it’s-”
“Enough, Ge. Please.”)
The seconds tick by. Lan Zhan knows that he should have said something by now, knows that any normal person would have responded properly, but he’s struggling to find the right words, put them in the right order. This is Wei Ying, and he would do anything for the other man, is always willing to help him when he needs it, but perhaps this is one of those times where he needs to push back, make sure his friend really understands what he’s doing. Wei Ying isn’t stupid, Lan Zhan knows this wholeheartedly, but his enthusiasm can lead him to get carried away, sometimes. Maybe this time, he needs to be the voice of reason.
“Lan Zhan?” Wei Ying says softly, too carefully , and Lan Zhan hates it.
“Ah, Lan Zhan, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. Don’t worry about it, okay?” With an apologetic little smile, Wei Ying pats the back of his hand gently. “I should have guessed it might be a little much for you. Don’t sweat it, okay? I think I can probably talk Wen Ning into it, so I should still be able to make this work.”
Something fierce and acrid whips through his gut. Lan Zhan wishes he didn’t understand why.
“No,” he says through his teeth, jaw tight. When it seems like Wei Ying will need more than this monosyllabic protest, judging by the crease of his brow and the way his mouth hangs agape, he sighs, taking a moment or two to put himself together a little more. “I’ll do it.”
It takes a second to sink in for the both of them, and before Wei Ying can whoop and throw his arms around him, Lan Zhan shuts him down with a firm, “But there need to be…rules. A plan. If you want results, we should go about this carefully. Do you understand?”
Wei Ying breaks into a laugh that has his head spinning, as clear as the peal of a bell, and suddenly, this all seems worth it.
“Rules? You’re kidding me, right? You’re such a Lan sometimes,” the smaller man teases, but Lan Zhan can see his gaze shifting, thoughtful. “You’re not wrong, though. Ah, Lan Zhan, where would I be without you, always thinking of things that I don’t? Let me get my laptop and we can workshop something.”
With that, he’s a whirlwind again, wild and untamable as he dashes off into the depths of his apartment, and Lan Zhan lets his head sink to the table.
It’s rare he curses, but he’ll make an exception for it this time, considering he is well and truly fucked .
It takes Wei Ying a solid twenty minutes to accept that his laptop is not in the apartment, thirty seconds for Lan Zhan to gently remind him that he had lent it to Nie Huaisang for the week, and another five minutes for Wei Ying to boot up his decrepit old tablet and force the Notes app to wake up.
“Remember this?” Wei Ying says with a grin, pointing to his screensaver. It’s an old photo, way back from their high school days when Wei Ying had dragged their friend group to a kitschy photobooth at the mall and made them all cram inside. Looking at it now, they all look so young - Huaisang still had braces at that point, and Jiang Cheng’s eyebrow piercing hadn’t fallen out yet. Wei Ying’s finger traces over the bunny ears he had drawn onto the photo after they had all tumbled out of the booth, and he gives it a light tap. “You look so grumpy here, look at you! You were just a baby, Lan Zhan. I can’t believe how long ago this was.”
Lan Zhan watches him and aches.
“Right. So.”
Clearing his throat, Wei Ying sweeps his long hair up into the ponytail that Lan Zhan knows means he’s getting down to business.
“First things first - the wedding. I’ve done some research, and it looks like we can get it all sorted in one day. The only real roadblock for that one is witnesses, but I think I can get Huaisang in on this. Actually, I’m pretty sure he’ll think it’s hilarious, so I’m counting him in already. We just need to find one more.”
“You don’t want your brother there?” Lan Zhan asks carefully, and he doesn’t miss the twist of his friend’s mouth when he replies.
“Jiang Cheng is… He gets put in a difficult position, sometimes. If he found out that this was just a sham, he’d have to choose between me or his mother. I’m not going to do that to him.”
Wei Ying runs a hand through his hair, suddenly looking weary, and Lan Zhan nods. “Then I shall see if Jin Zixuan won’t mind stepping in. I’m sure it will be no bother, and it will look more natural for your brother to be absent if mine is, as well.”
That earns him a grateful nod, and Wei Ying’s fingers fly over the scuffed tablet screen at a speed Lan Zhan isn’t sure how he manages.
“Great. Cool. Number two - it’s going to look weird if we don’t live with each other once we’re married. How do we manage that?”
“We’ll stay at mine,” Lan Zhan replies quickly, without even having to think about it. He has his reasons, but mostly, it just makes sense. His apartment is larger, has more room for them both, and he has his rabbits to think about. It’s not that he couldn’t survive in Wei Ying’s apartment, if he really thought about it, but the idea of constantly getting under each other’s feet here is enough to set his skin prickling.
“Hell yeah. If I knew this meant being able to use your coffee machine in the mornings, I’d have done this way sooner. Just one last thing, then - we’re going to have to make this look legit, at least for a little bit, if we don’t want people questioning things. I can handle the social media stuff, make us look really loved up, but we need to get our story straight for when we’re out in public, otherwise we’re done for. What do you think?”
He’s thoughtful for a minute, aware of Wei Ying’s gaze on him, but not unpleasantly so. What would be simple enough that holes couldn’t be poked in it, yet believable enough that people wouldn’t think to question it? Lan Zhan reaches out to smooth down the curling edge of a faded sticker on the old tablet, his mind whirling.
“We weave some truth into it,” he eventually says, uncomfortable with lying outright but willing to bend the truth for Wei Ying. “We say that we have been seeing each other secretly for some time, but when you discovered Ms. Yu was arranging marriage candidates for you, we decided to make things more serious and get married, to prevent us from being torn apart. People will think we’re foolish, rushing into things, but it’s better for them to think us fools in love than co-conspirators.”
By the time he finishes, the tips of his ears feel uncomfortably hot, and he can’t quite meet Wei Ying’s eyes, perhaps because the other man is staring at him rather intensely. There’s a look on his face that Lan Zhan can’t read, and that’s rare enough that he’s almost uncomfortable. Is that…not what people would do? He admits, he’s not entirely well-versed in romance, in casual flings and serious relationships alike, but has he really said something so strange? For the first time in a long while, he realizes he’s self-conscious under Wei Ying’s gaze, and the thought makes him frown.
“Ah, that’s,” Wei Ying mumbles, and he rubs at his nose in that way that never fails to makes Lan Zhan’s heart clench. “No, that’s good, that’s really good. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there. Let me write that down.”
Flicking his ponytail over his shoulder, Wei Ying begins to type again, Lan Zhan’s eyes on his chipped red nail polish as his fingers flicker to and fro over the screen, and with a little more prompting, they start to draw up a list of expectations for the upcoming farce. A comfortable silence settles over them, and Lan Zhan lets himself drift.
Perhaps this won’t be so bad. What’s really changing between them, anyway? He enjoys it when Wei Ying stays at his apartment, enjoys spending time with his friend, and the other man posts pictures of the two of them on his social media accounts often enough that Lan Zhan doesn’t really care about it any more. He might understand it being an issue if he were looking for a romantic relationship, but Lan Zhan doesn’t want that, has never wanted that, so it doesn’t even begin to seem like an issue.
That’s not quite true though, is it? Says a quiet, cold little voice from a faraway corner of his mind, and he slams up heavy mental walls against the thought. He won’t entertain it. Not any more. He will not be that selfish.
Perhaps he’s drifted too far, lost in his own thoughts again, because he blinks once, twice, to find Wei Ying watching him again.
“You know, Lan Zhan,” he says, voice serious, and for a moment, Lan Zhan foolishly feels real, true panic as he worries Wei Ying has seen right through him, right through to his selfish, ugly thoughts that he keeps hidden away, locked up tight. However, he recognizes the glint in his friend’s eyes, the mischief that can’t help but take root in his expression, and just like always, he finds that warm peace he has come to associate with the other man.
“There’s one other thing you’ll need to do if you’re my spouse, you know, the biggest marital responsibility there is. After all, real or not, how do you expect me to have a husband who doesn’t-”
“Wei Ying, I do not want to watch Glee with you. Not now, not ever.”
That earns him a scathing look, a gentle shove to the arm as Wei Ying pouts.
“Spoilsport. You don’t even know what I was going to say!”
“Then what were you going to say?”
Wei Ying tries, fails, to maintain his sullen expression, the corner of his frown twitching a few times before he finally gives up, dissolving into bashful laughter.
“Oh, shut up,” he shoots back, his voice fond as he gets to his feet. “You think you’re so clever, don’t you? Damned Lans and your damned mind reading powers, I swear to god…”
He begins to chatter again, mindlessly tugging at boxes and baskets to start the hunt for his legal documents, and Lan Zhan watches him quietly from his spot on the couch. There is a smear of green paint on Wei Ying’s elbow that has clearly not been caught in the shower, a hole in his sweatpants that has not yet been patched up, and he’s fairly certain at least one of the socks his friend is wearing was stolen from his closet. Lan Zhan is not sure anyone has ever looked this beautiful, or ever will again.
He’s right about one thing, he supposes, resigning himself to his fate - being married really will not change anything between them. After all, when it comes to Wei Ying, he’s always been well and truly fucked.