Chapter Text
.♡.
No one laughed quite like Gideon.
When Gideon felt something, he felt it with his whole soul. What would start as a rumble would quickly roll into a full body experience, the genasi throwing his head back with a boisterous boom of life. Truly a sight to behold and an infectious one at that.
In fact, the sound alone would normally warm the lizardfolk from the inside out, but now only grated on his nerves with its newly acquired twinkling echoes.
Staring down into his wine, Kremy dug his nails into the pewter edge of the goblet; he couldn’t remember if this was his third, or fourth, or fifth cup. Judging by the way the edges of his focus swirled, it most definitely wasn’t his first or second. He’d told himself he’d go easy in the celebrations provided by the fairy king, a notion that had flown out the window as soon as Gideon’s side had been claimed by said king’s daughter.
The very same daughter they had so graciously rescued from an evil maze earlier that day. A daughter that had done nothing but bat her eyes and bite her lip at Gideon all fucking night. Then as soon as the pitchers of wine had been procured, she had clung to Gideon’s bicep and courteously refilled his cup whenever he so needed. That alone had been enough to send Kremy a few seats down along the bonfire, but then the princess had invited her entourage – a set of twins – to join her on Gideon’s other side.
They always come in threes, Kremy sneered and tossed the rest of his drink into the flames. The taste on his tongue had soured a few sips ago.
At least the others were enjoying the revelry, although Kremy was pretty sure Gricko had been roped into playing a few numbers with the band against his will. Frost, however, had actually managed to find some peers among the king’s advisors, and Torbek had slunk into the shadows with a plate of sweets to do whatever Torbek did. Even Hootsie had gotten into the swing of things, having been adorned in flower crowns as her dance moves delighted the whimsical fey.
Kremy sighed, resting his head in his hands as he stared into the popping and crackling bonfire, willing his mind to drift. Then Gideon’s laughter subsided and Kremy chanced a glance his friend’s way, only to watch as Gideon titled his head to one of the girls. He growled something Kremy couldn’t hear but which sent the princess beet red and giggling.
Enough was enough, and the brittle thread of Kremy’s sanity snapped under the oily weight of jealousy. Rising to his feet, Kremy turned away from Gideon and made his way through the throng of merrymakers, passing the huts they’d been given to stay in, and into the surrounding woods. There was a pond with a small dock far enough away that Kremy felt like he could be alone, and it was here that Kremy finally broke.
“Stupid fucking fairies,” Kremy swung his cane through a bush, sending foliage flying, “Stupid perfect Gideon – got eyes for everyone in two planes of existence but his own gods damn husband –!”
Ironic, something bitter bit at the back of his mind, and Kremy threw his cane hard into the loam where it lodged upright. Next came the bow tie and jacket, which Kremy dropped over the purple skull. The night air touched his now exposed neck, and Kremy welcomed the chill that shivered down his spine; a far more pleasant sensation than the heat of envy that roiled in his chest.
“He’s his own man, Kremy – Gid can do what he wants, you don’t fucking own him,” Kremy said to himself the same time that resentful voice taunted, Owns you though, don’t he?
“Fuck!” Kremy grabbed at his head, wanting desperately to shut himself up.
These last few days in the feywild had forced long buried things to surface, and Kremy could have really done without the hullabaloo of his feelings. The pining, the yearning, the maddening pull between being content with what he had and risking even just a little more. The desire to be desired!
Maybe if his hands were warm, or his body softer, maybe, maybe Gideon would look at him differently. Would touch him differently. Would want him differently. Would finally ask of Kremy everything Kremy was willing to give. Which was anything! If Gid would only ask…
Oh, Kremy curled a fist over his sickly heart, breath stuttering. There were the tears.
Gods, that wine hit hard.
The snap of a twig whipped Kremy around to the edge of the clearing, where he found he wasn’t as alone as he’d thought.
“Uhhh,” Torbek started, standing hunched with a hand raised in uncertainty.
“Torbek,” Kremy quickly turned away with a sniffle, bringing the heels of his hands up to wipe the moisture from his eyes, “The hells you doin’ here? Shouldn’t you be dacnin’ with the others?”
Ears back, brow furrowed, Torbek took a further step into the clearing, his elongated fingers twisted together, “Torbek saw Mr. Kremy leaving the party. Torbek wanted to make sure you were okay. Um, are you crying?”
“So what if I am!?” Kremy snapped, glaring at Torbek before he snatched his hat off his head and threw it atop his jacket. Then Kremy yanked his cuffs undone, rolling up his sleeves, “Why is that such a fucking crime around here.”
“It’s not! Torbek cries all the time,” Torbek tried to placate, bobbing into Kremy’s field of view, “Although, Torbek doesn’t always feel good afterwards, and crying’s never solved much – but Torbek thinks it helps! Even just a little.”
Kremy simply stared at Torbek, feeling about ready to shatter. The bugbear looked so sympathetic it was to the point it felt like pity. Kremy’s lips trembled as he tried to restrain himself, but the tears returned with a vengeance and Kremy failed to stop the single choked sob pulled from him.
“Ohhhh no no no no – Torbek fucked up-”
“I’m just drunk-” Kremy warbled, stepping away from Torbek’s worried reach, “- and ironically married to my best friend – and stupidly in love with him on top of that. But the damned idiot can’t put two brain cells together to figure that out, or maybe he doesn’t fucking want to. I don’t know anymore…”
“O-oh,” Torbek said, a little inebriated himself, the gears turning, though slowly, “You – you mean Gideon?”
Gods, he was a fool, “Who else!”
“Torbek didn’t wanna presume-”
“As if I haven’t been wearing my heart on my sleeve this entire fucking time – making a damn fool of myself for all of Prismeer to pity and laugh at,” Kremy’s breath hitched, with anger, with pain, “The great Kremy Lecroux reduced to nothing more than a sniveling schoolgirl – pining after some unobtainable boy, whining because my daydreams continue to fail to meet reality!”
Kremy turned and kicked a small stone clear off the shore, watching as it arched through the air and landed in the pond with nothing more than a plop.
The pair stood in the silence of the moment after, Torbek running a critical eye over Kremy as the alligator fought to get control of his breathing.
“Did yelling help?” Torbek finally asked.
“No,” Kremy croaked, voice laden with water.
At a complete loss of what to do, Torbek could only grimace, glancing over his shoulder to the firelight in the distance, wondering if he shouldn’t run for one of the others?
Then Kremy bowed his head and turned towards Torbek, body almost boneless with exhaustion, and didn’t stop until he was pressed into Torbek’s chest. Tobrek stumbled at the unexpected contact, raising his hands in confusion, waiting for the punchline. When none came, however, Torbek slowly brought his long arms down around Kremy. At that gentle touch, the bough seemed to break, and Torbek full on held his crying friend.
.X.
“Aw, seems your cup’s run dry, honey,” Cooed Camille? Carmen? Carmella? Gideon was slightly ashamed to say he couldn’t very well remember the name of the fairy princess draped so lusciously over his shoulder, “Let me get that for ya.”
“That’d be mighty dandy of ya if you would,” Gideon said, pulling the corner of his mouth in that way that never failed to drive the women folk wild.
And sure enough, Chrysanthemum blushed scarlet when she reached down to take hold of the wine pitcher’s handle, “Come on, girls, lend your lady a hand.”
Loathe to part ways, even temporarily, lovely lithe hands trailed along Gideon’s shoulders as the other two fairies dutifully joined in their princess’s efforts.
“Don’t go nowhere,” one of the handmaids warned, and Gideon winked in return.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
All three girls giggled, sending the genasi coy looks as they flew off towards the kegs. Gideon enjoyed watching them go. Without a doubt, one of Gideon’s favorite parts of the adventuring life was the ample opportunities to sample all the pleasures the world had to offer. Usually at the exasperation of a certain alligator.
Speaking of which…
“Hey, Kremy-” Gideon turned to the spot he’d last seen his friend, only to find the seat by the fire empty. Huh. Gideon sat further up, arching his neck to peer around the crowd of fey, looking for a flash of the familiar purple on green, “Kremy? Where’d ya go, man.”
“Think he went to the little lizard’s room,” Gricko came into view, scooting backwards across the ground at Gideon’s feet, pupils blown wide, “Went that-a-way some time ago actually. Do you think he’s constipated or something?”
“I’m sure Kremy’s fine,” Gideon said, watching as Gricko flipped onto his stomach to start inching towards Frost like some goblin sized caterpillar. Gideon raised a brow, but decided it best not to question it.
“Should go check on him though, make sure he doesn’t need his hair held,” Gideon decided as he stood, then immediately sat back down. Fuck, that was some good wine. Blinking against the tilt of the world, Gideon took a deep breath and released it slowly, “Okay. Let’s try this, again.”
On the second round, Gideon managed to get both his feet under him and keep them there. Turning in the direction Gricko had pointed, Gideon began to stumble his way towards the woods.
Meanwhile, the goblin had finally reached his tabaxi friend with a very important question.
“Hey, Frosty, would you still love me if I were a worm?”
“Who says I love you now.”
.X.
Sat crossed leg on the small dock that extended into the pond, Kremy finished drying his eyes and wiping his smudged mustache from the end of his nose with a handkerchief. Beside him, Torbek was quietly swinging his legs off the dock, bare toes skimming the water’s surface.
“I do apologize for my unseemly display,” Kremy said as he folded up the handkerchief and placed it in his lap, “Wine has a bad habit of sneaking up on a fella. A good reason as to why I tend to stick to a decent rum or whiskey, reduce the risk of over imbibing when ya can feel it going down.”
“Mm, Torbek doesn’t mind,” Torbek idly touched the damp spot on his chest, “Torbek’s just worried about you, Mr. Kremy.”
“Ya shouldn’t be. I’m grown for fuck’s sake,” Kremy spat, “I should have a handle on myself.”
“Torbek thinks that if you’re sad, then you should be sad,” Torbek said, “You shouldn’t deny your feelings just for the perception of others. That only leads to more misery.”
Kremy couldn’t help but stare at Torbek, and the bugbear looked at him in turn, magenta eyes unexpectedly wide when that heavy brow wasn’t furrowed in constant confusion.
“Y’know, you continue to surprise me, Torbek,” Kremy admitted, having been caught off guard more than once by a moment of wisdom from Torbek.
“In a good way?” Torbek asked hopefully.
“I don’t know,” Kremy sighed, clasping his hands together as he leaned forward onto his thighs, gaze drifting out over the water.
All around, what could be fireflies danced in and out of existence in a midnight waltz. Beyond them, a smattering of luminescent mushrooms could just be seen between the trees. The pond itself acted as mirror for the iridescent sky above. The night was peaceful out here, the merriment but a whisper in the distance.
Not for the first time, Kremy found himself lulled by the nature of the feywild.
“I’ve been careless,” Kremy said, “Far too careless.”
“You can say that again,” Torbek mumbled, earning himself a warning look with no heat behind it.
“What I mean is – there’s something about this place, this magic,” Kremy tried to find the words, “Something that eases the inhibitions that we impose upon ourselves in civilized company.”
Torbek hummed, “Gideon is pretty hot though, Torbek doesn’t blame you.”
“That’s not even the half of it, Torbek. If this was simple lust, I could deal with that. I could bottle it up into a fantasy and tuck it away for a rainy day. Hell, I could probably even proposition Gid and get it out of my system. No,” Kremy shook his head, “What I’m feeling now, what I’m strugglin’ with, it’s more than carnal.”
“You said you were in love,” Torbek urged.
“I am. I know I am,” Kremy looked down at his clasped hands, “Have only ever been once before, and that bastard ran me ragged – but I know it when I feel it. When it’s real.”
“Not ironic.”
“I don’t know if it ever were,” Kremy smiled sadly, “And gods bless Gideon, but he’s as much a fool as I am. His heart’s too big to keep to himself. He can’t help it, giving me hope like he does.”
Tears once more began to prickle in Kremy’s eyes, and Kremy could feel the weight of Torbek’s stare, knew the bugbear had noticed.
“You don’t think Gideon feels the same,” Torbek observed.
Kremy huffed a laugh, “Oh, if he does he’s either far better at hiding it than I ever could be – or he hasn’t figured it out yet. My gold’s on neither.”
Torbek hadn’t missed the tremble that caught Kremy’s voice on that last word. He watched as his friend’s jaw tightened, Kremy resolutely staring straight ahead. Torbek wasn’t sure if there was much more he could do besides listen, but he did know one thing.
“Torbek thinks you should tell Gideon.”
“No,” Kremy snapped, scared, “Absolutely not.”
“But-”
“I said no,” Kremy raised a hand, and Torbek clicked his mouth shut, “This stays between us, ya hear?”
“Hmm,” Torbek hummed, unhappy, yet unwilling to push, “Torbek hears.”
“Good.”
“Doesn’t it hurt though?” Torbek asked.
“It’s gods damn killin’ me.”
“Torbek’s sorry.”
Kremy shrugged in response, resigned to his fate, “Nothing to be sorry for – just the way the dice landed.”
“Torbek’s still sorry,” Torbek said as he slumped in on himself, hating the feeling of helplessness at Kremy’s accepted defeat.
They were silent for a moment longer, Torbek fiddling with a fray in his shirt, Kremy debating with what he wanted to say next. Coming to a decision, Kremy took a deep breath.
“Anyway,” Kremy started, “Thanks for – for looking out for me, Torbek. I do appreciate ya comin’ to see if I were okay. You’re a…” Kremy struggled to pry his lips apart, his tongue pressed heavy against the words. They’d been well earned, however, so, “A friend.”
Everything about Torbek immediately brightened, dangerously crooked teeth revealed through a joyous, almost gleeful, smile.
“Really?” Torbek drawled.
“Yes?” Kremy said, suddenly less sure.
“Ohhh,” Torbek’s smile grew so big it looked painful, “Mister Kremy is Torbek’s friend too! Possibly his bes-”
“Now let’s not get carried away with ourselves,” Kremy cut him off, “Wouldn’t want to ruin the mood.”
“Oh, okay,” Torbek said, subdued, but unable to help the happiness still plastered across his face. He hummed a little more, trying to contain himself. Then Torbek grew shy all of a sudden, twisting his fingers together as the pair lapsed once more into silence.
After a few moments, Torbek finally ventured a, “Mister Kremy?”
Kremy sighed, “Yes?”
“If you ever need Torbek, Torbek will be there. You just need to ask.”
Yet again genuinely surprised, Kremy turned to meet the bugbear’s earnest gaze, not knowing what to do with the honest to gods affection he found there. Something soft wiggled its way a little deeper into Kremy’s cold blooded heart, and the alligator all but blamed it on the alcohol.
Still-
“Thank you,” Kremy said as he glanced away.
.X.
Gideon stood stock still against the trunk of the tree he had ducked behind upon hearing his friends deep in discussion. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, he really hadn’t, but the shearing pain he could hear in Kremy’s voice had nearly caused Gideon to rush in with concern – until he’d caught up to what had been said.
Tobrek thinks you should tell Gideon.
No.
Clearly the tail end of a much more important discussion, the words had stopped Gideon in his tracks and sent his heart hammering in his chest. The hell had he just heard? Kremy was keeping secrets. Big secrets. Big painful secrets that he specifically wanted to keep from Gideon – Gideon! Fuck.
What was Kremy thinking? Was he cursed? Sick? Was it just Kremy?
Part of Gideon wanted to shout, another part wanted to tromp over there and pick the scrawny gator up by the collar and shake him till he spilled everything.
Gideon peeked out from around the tree he was hidden behind and found the backs of his friends. They’d both gone quiet, Kremy now leaning on his hands with his head tilted up while Torbek kicked his feet around in the water.
Torbek.
Of all the fucking friends Kremy had chosen to confide in, it had been Torbek. Torbek. Over Gideon…
An unpleasant emotion curled and sank into his stomach, and Gideon turned away, pushing himself off the tree. His initial anger waned under the sick that now sheltered in his chest, leaving Gideon feeling a little lost.
They’d have to talk, Gideon decided, him and Kremy. Though perhaps in the morning when more leveled heads could prevail. On that thought, Gideon began to meander back towards the party, though in a much less celebratory mood.
.♡.