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"Dazai-san?" The small voice echoes off the walls off, tinged with relief. "Oh, am I glad to see you. Maybe you can tell me what's going on."
Nothing but stifled steps greeted him.
The door locked with a click
Chills spiked up Atsushi spine, a bad feeling. "Da… Dazai-san?"
"Do you know where you are?" The brown locks fell over the tall one's eyes, rendering his body language unreadable.
"I uh…" Recognition froze him. "This is the interrogation r-room."
"Good, good." Praised evenly the man and nodded, walking up to him with a pleasant smile, in no rush whatsoever. "Do you know what happens in this room?"
Fear was creeping into his wide eyes, cogs in his brain turning slowly. "… D-Dazai-san, what am I doing here?" He grew more wary and tense, a sense of danger whispered to him, but that wasn't right. Dazai was here, that meant it was going to be alright. "Why am I… restrained?" Right?
"The moment you see me walk in here alone and lock the door," Cold yet casual, black swirlpools stared him down. "You should know I'm no longer your Dazai-san."
It slapped him in the face, leaving him in cold horror. Nausea ran through his veins. His fusion of anger and frustration all faltered into primal fear.
'Your friends aren't on your side, Nakajima.' Taunted the ability user mirthfully in his ear. 'Welcome to my game, where you're the villain!'
"And you didn't answer my question." A disappointed sigh reminded him where he was. The nullifier sat himself on the seat across the table, seemingly relaxed and friendly (enough). "The answer is we chat a little bit, nothing too uncomfortable. Kunikida-kun doesn't usually let me in here since I can have a little bit of a temper. It's a bit embarrassing, really." Chuckled softly the man and shrugged. "But the agency wanted the Demon Prodigy on the case, not Dazai Osamu. I just work here." The smile sat on his face terribly, clashing with the raggedness of his teeth.
"The Demon…" He mouthed breathlessly, lines between his brows unraveling as he put together a puzzle in speechless horror.
"So let's talk, Nakajima Atsushi." He leaned forward, shoving his calm creepy smile in a startled Atsushi's face. "I heard you've been a little shy with everyone else."
"I won't tell you anything!" The reminder of what was at stake snapped him out. "Dazai-san, you should know the truth, right?! I didn't betray the agency, there's something really wrong here. Think about it, I have no reason to keep information from my superiors." He hissed. "I just have to make sure it won't fall into the hands of the ability user, and I need you to believe me, please!" He winced. "I-it's horrible being this alone. And if you're holding back your plan from me and playing dumb, w-well-" He stammered. "... You're also horrible." The weak mumble led him to hang his head down.
Dazai waited blankly for him to finish his rant, watching as he caught his breath for a full eerie minute. Atsushi's heart raced until he felt sick, teeth gritted as he waited for a reaction, anything.
Eventually the man in front of him chuckled, cracking his knuckles one by one, like crackles of fire.
"I won't lie, a part of me hoped you would resist."
"D-Dazai-san-" Atsushi breathed out in shock as Dazai stood up, going behind him, posture easy.
"Don't bother with your wounded puppy eyes." He leaned down so he could reassure to the tiger's ear. "Although, no hard feelings Atsushi-kun. I just don't take these jobs lightly, especially when the future of the city depends on it."
"I'm not ly-" His head was smashed into the cold metallic table in front of him, the pain taking a moment to crash into him from how abrupt it was. He gasped sharply, feeling the ragged surface tear into the skin of his forehead.
"Let's have some fun together, shall we?" He felt Dazai's grin more than saw it, ringing in the air.
"I don't like this." Kunikida muttered as he watched the scene unravel from behind the one sided windows. He winced when Dazai leaned over with a twisted smirk and whispered. Atsushi's entire form shook, face covered by his bangs as he hung his head low, determined on not breaking down. Kunikida was proud of him, but it wasn't going to end well for the boy. "I really don't like this."
"Stop mumbling." Ranpo annoyedly remarked, but there was a tension in his shoulder.
"Ranpo-san-"
"I know."
"He's just a-"
"I know." The dark-haired man snapped clippedly. "It's not up to us." He warned.
Don't ruin the slight chance we have of catching the enemy by surprise.
Kunikida gritted at how the collar around his neck beeped once threateningly, as did Ranpo's.
Why did it always have to be bombs?
Dazai sat on the table now, leveled higher than his subordinate. His feet casually rested on either side of Atsushi on the chair. Dazai was holding and examining his gloved hand closely, tracing the fingers and bending them, ignoring their tense and quiet owner.
"Do you think your regeneration can catch up with how fast I'll tear off your fingers?" He casually stated.
Atsushi kept his head low. "... It won't. It'll be nullified."
"Correct."
"Dazai-san li-listen, there's a superweapo-"
Snap
Kunikida flinched at the screech coming through the earpiece. Most of the conversation was muffled, but there was no mistaking this.
"You were saying?"
Take a deep breath, an agonized whimper escaped him. Most important of all was his mission. "I- I- I said-"
Another one of his fingers snapped in the wrong direction, like breaking a fragile twig. Atsushi screamed.
"You're starting to annoy me now."
Blood dripped off from where used to be limbs, all of them now ripped off. Atsushi could barely feel them anymore, the life was oozing out of his body soon.
Dazai's cold irises remained on the younger, fingers clasping his neck, holding the body- no much more than a torso by now- against the wall.
More blood gushed down, making a wide pool on the ground.
The taller man's lips curled in disgust, watching Atsushi cough and gurgle on his own blood.
"I'm not above killing you, Atsushi." Half snarl nasty, Dazai strangled him with more pressure. His eyes cold and indifferent "Is this really how you want to go?"
"All I have to do is keep the contact, and you'll bleed all over the place until you die. I do kind of envy you." Followed by a shrug. "What do you think about this death?"
Atsushi spit out the blood and tried to gasp, shaking his head no.
"Kidding, I'm not going to kill you." He snorted. "The fun is just about to start." Without a warning, he dropped the limp body.
Atsushi screamed, shifting into a wail of pain, unable to move without his limbs. He could feel his ability kicking in, relief settling in his core. His arms began restoring to their previous state
"Give it a few minutes and you're ready for round two." Cheerfully declared the Demon Prodigy, kicking his convulsing torso once.
"How can he do this with a smile?" Kunikida glared at the monitor, feeling bile travel up his throat.
"You should be thankful than he can." Ranpo huffed.
What was taking so long? Help should've been there by now.
"You know…"
Atsushi tried his best to stay still, head tilted back, especially aware of the blade travelling slowly under his skin. It grazed his ribcage, travelled downward and deeper, slipping in easy after tearing the skin.
Screaming did nothing, all he could do was keep his trembling to minimum as white attacked his vision, overwhelmed with pain and exhausted of withstanding it.
Dazai's gaze was intense and sharp, gleaming with displeasure. "Any sane person would give in by now." He muttered with a venomous bite, and his hand shook, dragging the dagger down.
The constant choking shifted into wheezing… laughter?
"It's inspiring to see your strong spirits." Somehow it irked the man even worse. "Or maybe it's the blood loss."
When Atsushi revealed his face he was grinning, full of tears snot and a grimace, but grinning nonetheless "I didn't mean to laugh, sorry."
"It's just that when you said you're the Demon Prodigy, I thought of the rumors I heard as a kid and went- maybe I won't be able to keep quiet after all." He spit out some blood to the side, raising his chin with tired humor. "This is the worst you could do or are you holding back?"
… What?
Disbelief and exasperation washed over the previous cold stare. "Are you some sort of a masochist and I didn't know?" Then scowled, knocking the bleeding body to the wall. "Do you want my worst?!" His growl rose higher than his usual controlled emotionless monotone.
"Not really." Atsushi smiled weakly, letting his eyes slip shut. "It's just that I didn't expect to go through my old punishments from the matrons."
A lost muffled noise escaped Dazai, then his eyes darkened and he twisted the knife.
"Also…" Softly said Atsushi despite his pain. "I kn-now this h-hurts you too, Dazai-s-san."
"Naive boy." Kunikida murmured.
"Is this orphanage a legal thing?" Meanwhile Ranpo looked creeped out. "Is he making shit up? He just straight up told the mafioso his torture methods are outdated."
"Please, Dazai doesn't feel a thing. He's been doing this for years." Kunikida sighed.
"I know you don't want to do it." Words growing faint and breathy, Atsushi gritted his teeth, eyes watering as the blade cut through his insides. "AGH! B-but I didn't know how ba-adly-"
"The fuck are you going on about?" Dazai spat out, expression hardening.
"Dazai-san… y-you're crying."
Dazai froze, breath hitching as he felt his wet cheeks.
Shit.
The man stared, suppressing the twitch of his eye. He could feel that damn camera on him, could basically hear those collars beeping in warning, reminding him to play his part.
He stayed still as a statue, watching his subordinate wheeze for air.
Then made the dumbest decision possible in the room.
He flipped the interrogation table in a swift move and dragged the other body behind it successfully before the shootout broke down.
It was a matter of luck that Kenji, Kyouka and Yosano arrived on time to join the fight, or Dazai's unplanned move might have resulted in their cowokers' death.
Or so Atsushi's teammates told him.
No one brought it up, no one said anything, nor looked at him, nor Dazai in the office. Atsushi supposed there was nothing to say. His entire body buzzed unpleasantly with exhaustion, probably shock, and his mouth tasted of iron. For the life of him, he couldn't stop trembling.
He tried excusing himself to the bathroom, but no matter how many times he washed his face and whispered to himself that it was alright, it didn't calm him down.
He tried holding onto the edge of his desk until his knuckles went white, but somehow it made the tremor worse. Atsushi just wanted this to stop, he wanted to forget about this last case and all it contained. Atsushi wanted to-
He wanted to see Dazai.
He almost tripped while getting out of his desk, head dizzy, grabbing Kunikida's alert.
"Where's Dazai-san?" He muttered. Unexpectedly, the blond simple pressed his lips, reluctant to respond. "I need to talk to him." So he stressed.
"Riverbank." Ranpo casually answered and Atsushi wasted no time, running for the door.
Kunikida couldn't do much other than trust Ranpo, so he scowled at his computer.
Atsushi's instincts told him to find Dazai where they first met, so he didn't actually expect to find the man there, sitting by the water.
Atsushi just ran towards him without giving a chance to process, not stopping until they collided. Dazai nearly fell back at the blow of it, body jolting at the touch. "Atsushi-k-kun-?!" He began shoving the younger away, defensive.
But Atsushi clung to his torso tightly, burying his face in the man's scent. "This is the least you could do for me." He threatened before he could stop himself.
He froze only for a moment before squuezing him back just as tightly, arms wrapping around his shoulders. "... Yeah, okay."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." Atsushi tried to fight off the tightness around his throat, tried to fend off his tears. "I just really need you to hold me right now."
"It's o-okay."
"I-I don't blame you." His voice wavered, reassuring, he bunched the lapels of Dazai's coat in his grip. "I really don't-"
"It's fine either way." Quietly choked the other, bringing the other even closer. "I don't mind, it's fine, I- I'll hold you if you want."
"I don't feel so good."
"I'm sorry." Dazai whispered to his hair.
"That feels nice to hear..." Atsushi whispered to the former mafioso's shoulder.
Say it again, he felt too selfish to ask. Say sorry for everyone who never did, time and time again. Until I can forgive all the people who don't deserve my forgiveness. Say sorry so I can free myself from these chains.
It was as if Dazai read his mind anyway. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry." He held the boy so dear Atsushi worried he might crack a bone, but this time it was fine. "Stupid plan, I didn't think it'd go down like that…" He cussed and he sounded so tense and-
Oh.
Dazai was trembling too.
"I'm okay now." Atsushi swallowed and took whatever comfort he could from the lips pressing to his forehead, he basked in the warmth anyway. "We're okay." He gave a watery laugh.
"It's not okay." Dazai muttered almost darkly.
"I never said that." Atsushi decided to just enjoy the embrace. "I said we're okay." Dazai said nothing, only adjusted his grip to a softer hold. "It's a beautiful sunset today, look." He whispered, twisting his head to gaze across the river.
"It's the same sight every day." Dazai pressed his lips into a thin line.
"That's not what I said."
There was a moment before the nullifier sighed.
"Yes, Atsushi-kun. Sunsets are beautiful." Unexpectedly, he just brushed off the tears from Atsushi's eyes. "Some more than others."
"That's corny." Atsushi softened, chest throbbing tenderly and it hurt. "It's not going to save you from all the Chazuke you're going to buy me." He tested his limits.
"Are you sure?" Dazai gave a playful pout.
"I'm really hungry."
"Alright." Dazai helped him stand up. They both turned to look at the sunset one last time.
"I'm sorry, Atsushi-kun."
"You already said it." Thank you. Again. More.
"It'll never be enough. I didn't like hurting Atsushi-kun." The taller whined, his forehead bumping Atsushi's shoulder. "I really am sorry. I got so distracted about keeping Kunikida-kun and Ranpo-san safe… I really messed up."
"Apologize." Atsushi pleaded.
"I'm sorry."
"... Again, please."
"I'm really sorry for hurting you."
"Please."
"I'm so sorr-"
"Again." The boy sobbed and held onto the other like his lifeline.
"I'm sorry." Dazai gently kissed the crown of his head.
You're forgiven but apologize anyway.
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry for eighteen years of torture…"
"I'm sorry-"
"I'm sorry-"
"I'm sorry-"
The wounds Atsushi felt were healing weren't new at all.
And the Chazuke they had that day tasted as good as it had the first time he had it in Yokohama.