Work Text:
If it was just up to him, Adrien would be in his new apartment, laying on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. He’d be there, alone, with that weight in his chest. How could he have been so blind ? How did he never realize that Nathalie had been supporting his father’s plan all along. Of course, she tried to explain herself.
How it was all for his mother.
How she changed when she realized Gabriel was in too deep.
How she never meant for it to go that far.
Still, she was the reason his parents found the miraculous in the first place. She was the reason his father became… The reason why his father…
Fuck.
Just like that, a few months ago, all that pain he thought he would never feel again came crashing down on him. The new Butterfly Miraculous Holder had hinted at Nathalie’s past identity which sent him right back to the start.
Of course that explained the illness.
That explained why she had worn the ring too.
And all that time, Adrien just thought that Gabriel and her had been…
The young man downs his drink, something way too sweet created by Rose. In an effort to make him leave the house, Adrien had been dragged to one of Kim’s party. Of course, that meant that all his collège friends were there. All but the most important one: Marinette. She had been caught up at the bakery where she had to help her parents with an important order. To be honest, Adrien almost ditched the party to go see her, but Cerise had insisted and well, here he is, drunk, sitting outside on the balcony.
The cool wind against his warm skin makes him shiver and the light from the lamppost illuminates his pale face.
God he looks awful.
Adrien brings the cup to his lips, hoping he forgot one last sip, but only a small drop of sugary liquid falls on his tongue.
Fuck.
The music inside Kim’s place is way too loud, yet Adrien recognizes a mix from Nino’s playlist. He doesn’t want to bother him: he looks incredibly happy, frantically mixing songs on his laptop.
Instead, Adrien stays there, buzzed from the alcohol, trying to get his mind off everything.
‘’Hey’’ a soft voice says.
Adrien looks up. He stays silent as his gaze catches Luka’s.
‘’Are you alright ? You’ve been here by yourself for quite some time.’’
Still, the young man doesn’t reply. There is something about Luka that just…
‘’Adrien?’’
‘’Your lip’’ Adrien says while bringing his finger to Luka’s face.
‘’Oh, yeah, I got them two months ago’’ the blue haired boy answers with a smile. He sits next to Adrien and takes a sip of his beer.
‘’Dude, you look… They look… So cool’’
‘’Thank you ! At least someone appreciates them ! Cerise told me that they made me look like a depressed emo teen which honestly, isn’t too far off my current vibe’’
‘’Oh shit, why ? What’s- Why ?’’
Sentences. Adrien knows how to make them.
Luka shrugs. ‘’Stuff.’’
‘’Yeah, I get that’’
A silence washes over them.
‘’So? How you’ve been ?’’ Luka asks.
Adrien shrugs. ‘’I don’t know. I’m just…’’ He looks around. ‘’I learned some… things about a certain person which is just… Fucking crazy. And fath- Monarque died five years ago and Nathalie knew about the Amok. She had the ring !’’ Adrien rambles ‘’And you know what ?’’ A small laugh escapes from his lips ‘’I can’t believe I’m telling you this but man, I’m horny as fuck’’
‘’What ?’’ Luka snorts after finishing his last sip of beer.
‘’Do you know how fucked up it is to be grieving and horny ?’’ Adrien says, slapping the side of his head ‘’I’m on my bed thinking about my- About death and my whole life being a lie but my brain just goes ‘hey how about a wank !’ Like, what ? How am I depressed and horny? It feels wrong… I don’t know how to explain it’’
Luka thinks for a moment while Adrien looks up at the sky.
‘’But why ?’’ The older man asks. ‘’Like, those are two different things. It’s not… It’s not’’ he sighs ‘’I guess maybe you think it’s inappropriate because it’s grief is associated with ‘sadness’ and sex is associated with ‘happiness’ so you feel as if you were contradicting yourself or- or not ‘honoring’ your grief. Or it could because you don’t feel worthy of feeling a positive emotion because of the guilt your grieving is bringing.’’
Adrien stares at him.
How does he do it ? How does he always find the right word ?
‘’I don’t know if any of this make sense, I’m not the one studying in psychology. But… Whatever it is, you shouldn’t feel ashamed of your emotions. They are valid.’’
Oh.
Christ.
Adrien lets out a shaky breath and tries to swallow the lump in his throat. He presses the heel of his palm on his burning eyes while biting his lips.
It was guilt.
Guilt had always been at the center of all this. Ever since he learned about the final fight between Ladybug and Monarque, Adrien had been ashamed.
Ashamed of not being strong enough.
And then when he learned about Monarque’s true identity, guilt had engulfed him again. How did he not realize that his own father was the one terrorizing Paris ?
‘’I’m sorry, I didn’t-‘’ Luka starts, putting a hand on Adrien’s shoulder.
‘’No, no, it’s fine… It’s just… It does make sense. Thank you’’
‘’It’s alright. You know I’m always there to talk’’
Adrien nods and sniffles lightly. God he wishes he could have a shot of vodka, rhum, heck even tequila to burn the lump stuck in his throat. Just one more shot to bring him back to the pleasant buzz so he could actually feel something other then guilt; other then grief.
‘’Do you want to leave ?’’ Luka asks after a moment.
Adrien thinks.
‘’Yeah… I’d like that’’ he says.
‘’We could go to your place. I heard you got a new apartment’’
‘’Fuck my apartment and those white walls that just stare at me’’
‘’Alright, so my place then. Mom’s out for the night and, well, Jules is playing beer pong’’
Without saying anything, Adrien gets up, holding his balance with the brick wall. The young man gives his hand to Luka to help him up.
Adrien looks around and grips the railing. He pushes himself up and climbs on the roof.
‘’Oh, we’re traveling that way’’ Luka smiles.
‘’I mean, it is faster’’ Adrien replies while helping him.
Once they are both on the roof, Adrien opens his hoodie pocket and lets out Plagg.
‘’I’m not a Navigo Pass, you know’’ the kwami says while crossing his arms.
‘’No, you’re even better’’
With that, Adrien transforms himself into his Cat Noir persona and reaches for his baton.
’’Are you sure that you’ll be able to navigate safely ?’’
‘’I’ve done this in way worse conditions. Ask L.B next time you see her.’’ He smiles while expanding his weapon.
‘’It’s fine, I trust you’’ Luka smiles.
With all those years of using his baton, Cat Noir could get around easily through the streets and buildings of Paris. Sure, he’s still buzzed from the alcohol, but hey, that made the ride just more enjoyable.
Cat Noir takes Luka and his arms, placing his hands tightly on his waist. The young man could smell the alcohol on his breath, but the scent of his perfume was still perceivable.
With Luka’s hair tickling his cheek, Cat Noir jumped off the roof and moved along the buildings swiftly. He never got bored of the feeling of the wind on his face. Back then, it made him feel free.
Adrien holds Luka close against him.
For a moment, he looks at him. Their eyes do not meet just yet. Luka is looking around the Paris night sky, a soft smile on his lips. His tongue slides across his snake bites and Adrien wonders how that must feel.
How that must feel like to kiss.
He closes his eyes for a second.
Fuck.
The alcohol really didn’t help.
“Hey, don’t close your eyes! There are still things I want to do before I die” Luka says with a chuckle.
“Relax, man, I know these streets and buildings like the back of my hand! I could do this blindfolded”
“Oh wow Kinky” Luka laughs.
For an instant, their eyes meet. Adrien can almost feel Luka’s breath on his cheeks.
God Luka’s hot.
It’s not the first time this thought has crossed Adrien’s mind. He remembers lying at night as a teenager, eyes closed, reminiscing about Luka playing guitar right in front of him as they practiced for Kitty Section. The sweat on the back of his neck, his biceps and forearms flexing as he played his guitar.
“I see the Liberty!” Says Adrien while slowing down. ‘’I can’t believe you just get to live on a boat’’ he adds when they reach the deck.
‘’Yeah, but you know how it is, I’ll have to leave again soon’’ Luka replies.
For a moment, Adrien just stands there, unable to say anything.
That guilt.
It’s still there, dwelling inside.
He ruined Luka’s life. All this… Miraculous shit ruined so many lives.
‘’Fucking sucks man” he finally says “I just wish you could… That this could all be over’’
‘’I know, I know, but it’s alright. I like traveling. I think that I’m not made for standing still’’
‘’Mmmh’’
Luka walks closer to him, wearing, like always, that damn half smile, as if he was about to chuckle.
“Really, Adrien, don’t worry about me, I’m fine”
“Yeah, I know”
Yet again, his eyes peer down at the piercings on Luka’s lips.
Please.
Please kiss me.
He’s been so horny and so alone. With everything that went down, there is no way he could find someone.
Well.
He knows that if he dowloaded dating apps he’d have a plethora of matches.
But at what cost?
“Do you want to touch them?”
“What?” Adrien replies, taking a step back.
“They’re healed, you can touch them” Luka says, taking one of his piercings in his fingers.
“Oh! No, no, I’m- It’s alright”
A laugh escapes Luka’s lips “Wanna keep drinking? I have rhum. Or Tequila if you want”
“Fuck you, you know I don’t drink that shit anymore”
“Aww, having some flashbacks of graduation, are we?” Luka laughs as he heads toward the cabin.
The dizziness is gone, but his head is still buzzing. His body feels heavy and his blood feels thick.
“Plagg, claws in” he mumbles as he slouches over the railing.
“God, you’re desperate“ the Kwami sighs.
“I’m not that desperate”
“My dear, even I don’t salivate this much when I see a Camembert”
“Plagg, you’re really not helping”
“It was never my intention” the Kwami says before hiding in Adrien’s hoodie.
The young man sighs. When Luka comes back on the deck, he’s holding a bottle of cheap rhum and a box of cookies.
“I assumed you were hungry” he says, tossing the box to the blond boy.
“Thanks”
Once Luka reaches him, he unscrews the cap and takes a sip of the brown liquid. “God I’m not 18 anymore” he says with a wince.
Adrien takes the bottle and drinks. The liquid warms his throat, leaving a soft spicy taste on his tongue.
Taste that probably stuck on Luka’s lips too.
“Do you do this often?” Luka asks.
“What?”
“Drink to get numb”
Adrien pauses and stares at the water. Maybe. But it’s not like he’s drunk alone every night either. Although, he can’t pretend like he doesn’t easily empty a bottle of cheap wine when he buys one on harder days.
“I don’t want to talk about it” he admits.
“I understand” Luka says before taking a sip “when you’ll be, I’ll be there to listen”
It takes a few seconds for Adrien to notice the older boy’s hand on his arm. His long fingers are sliding mindlessly on his sleeve. “So, you said you’ve been horny? Why?”
“What do you mean ‘why’? I have a brain and a dick, it just happens”
Luka chuckles “No, I meant why can’t you do anything about it? Is it because of the grieving ?”
“Yeah, mostly. But also… You know, there aren’t any options really”
“Bullshit!” Luka exclames “you were a fucking model, man. Look at yourself!”
Adrien feels a wave of warmth on his face, his cheeks suddenly burning.
“I know, I know, but this country can’t seem to understand that I’m not a model anymore. Heck just last week I was trending because of a selfie I took with a friend at a concert!”
“What an icon…”
“So I guess my only resort is with people I trust”
Lowering eyes.
Snake bites.
Lips.
“Mmmh, I see” Luka replies, sliding his hand down to his waist.
“But you know, Nino’s not my type, Alya’s dating Nino…”
“Marinette?”
Adrien laughs softly “it’s complicated”
But here, now, right now, all Adrien can do is stare at Luka’s lips. He can hear his heart pounding in his ears and his fingers getting numb.
Oh if he could just pull him closer and kiss him. If he could remove that damn hoodie to feel Luka’s hand on his side.
‘’What ?’’ Luka suddenly asks.
‘’Mmmh?’’
‘’You’re giving me a look’’
‘’What look ?’’
‘’God, how do people not know you’re Cat Noir, honestly ? You have the same smug grin and flirty vibes’’
‘’What ? Flirty vibes ? I don’t have flirty vibes !’’
‘’Oh please, you speak to everyone like you’re about to push them up against a wall’’
‘’I’m just- That’s just how I talk, man. What’s your point ?’’ He says while crossing his arms.
‘’My point, Adrien, is that you’ve been staring at my lip rings since I walked on that balcony earlier and you’ve been looking at me the same way you used to look at Ladybug. Am I wrong ?’’
‘’I didn’t know you could be so cocky’’
‘’I guess mixing alcohol wasn’t such a great idea’’
‘’Was it ? Because I’m starting to think it wasn’t so bad’’
Luka slides his hand on Adrien’s cheek and oh. God. Their lips meet, harshly. Adrien can taste the spicy rhum on Luka’s breath as he brushes ever so slightly the tip of his tongue on Luka’s lower lip where he can feel the metal nubs. The older man glides his fingers to the back of Adrien’s head and pulls slightly on the blond curls.
Oh.
‘’Fuck’’ Adrien breathes softly.
Sure Adrien has kissed people. Well. Only Kagami and Ladybug if those times he was akumatized counted, but this was different. This was messy, greedy, needy.
Luka captures his lower lip with his teeth and nibbles on it, leaving Adrien completely undone. The older man walks backwards and sits them down on one of the chairs on the deck, letting Adrien straddle him.
Slowly, Luka opens his mouth and lets the younger man slide his tongue on his. Adrien’s fingers grab the fabric of Luka’s green crewneck, pulling him even closer. For a moment, the older man pulls away. Adrien’s lips follow him, trying to catch his soft red lips again.
‘’Tell me when you want me to stop’’ Luka mutters before pecking Adrien’s lips.
‘’Please don’t’’ he replies, his gaze not leaving the older man’s lips.
With a smile, Luka kisses his jaw, nipping down to his neck. ‘’Is this okay ?’’
‘’Yeah… Just…’’
Adrien can feel his heart racing in his chest. ‘’I don’t- This can’t…’’
‘’Hey, hey, no pressure, we can stop, it’s fine’’
‘’No, no, please don’t stop. I haven’t… I haven’t felt something this good in so long. It’s just… I don’t think this will go any further. I don’t- Like you that way. We’re friends. I’m sorry if I-‘’
‘’It’s alright, don’t worry. No strings attached, alright ?’’
‘’Yeah, I’d like that’’
Without saying anything else, Luka brings his lips to Adrien’s soft skin. The young man shivers. Lips and teeth bite hungrily at his sensitive neck.
For the first time in months, Adrien feels alive. Alive and breathing fast while Luka’s mouth works around his neck, jaw, cheeks and lips.
All those nights of feeling numb with a heavy weight in his chest. All those tears rolling down his cheeks are washed away by Luka’s lips. The older man slides his fingers on Adrien’s arms, leaving goosebumps behind.
‘’You know, I debated quite a long time before getting those piercings’’ Luka says against Adrien’s ear. ‘’Had I known how they made you feel, I would’ve gotten them sooner’’
The older man glides his hands down Adrien’s sides.
‘’You- You’ve thought a-about this before’’
Wow.
This sounded way more hot and confident in his mind.
‘’How could I have not ? I could say all that ‘you’re funny’ and ‘kind’ shit, but it’s more than that. I told you: confidence looks good on you.’’ Luka says before kissing him again slowly.
So painfully slowly.
God his lips, his tongue, his teeth, his hands, his words.
Again, Luka slides his fingers through his hair; Adrien can’t help but sigh with pleasure. How embarrassing. He can feel the red creeping up his cheeks as Luka bites down softly on his lip.
‘’Damn, who would’ve thought that Cat Noir would be such a blushing mess.’’ Luka whispers. ‘’All talk, but when it comes to this, Kitty loses his tongue, does he ?’’ he teases.
‘’Shut up’’ Adrien says while running his fingers under the hem of Luka’s crewneck. ‘’You talk too much’’.
Adrien loses track of time. He loses track of pretty much anything. Their shirts are tossed away, hands roam freely on warm skin and lips are leaving trails of small red spots.
The night is quiet, dark, and only the sound of their lips colliding reverberates between them. But when Luka bites Adrien’s ear softly, the younger man can’t help but let a deep breath out. And when Luka pulls lightly on the golden curls too, a small sound escapes Adrien’s swollen lips.
“Oh, those are nice little sounds you’re making” Luka teases.
The younger man chuckles lightly and shakes his head.
“What?” Luka asks, his nose touching Adrien’s.
“I feel like a teenager” he snorts.
“Why?”
“This” he says pointing at them “I’m getting all hot and bothered over a make out session”
“And? Twenty year old can make out too, it’s not just about sex, you know”
“Yeah” Adrien says, putting his head in the crook of Luka’s neck.
“I mean, if one day you feel like doing that with a person you trust, you know where to find me”
“Yeah, in a jungle in Thailand or hiking in a volcano somewhere in Central America” Adrien laughs while closing his eyes.
“Don’t you have a space suit ?”
“Yeah, fancy explaining that one to L.B when she realizes that I’m short on Space Upgrader shit”
“Space Upgrader shit” Luka repeats, his fingers slowly tracing Adrien’s spine.
The blond man doesn’t reply. His cheek is resting on Luka’s shoulder while his arms are wrapped around his sides. His heart beat slows down as he feels the cool air on his sweaty skin.
The weight in his chest is gone. If he had more energy, he’d cry of relief. Still, even if Adrien knows it’s only temporary, he lets the comfort set in.
“But you know, whatever it is, Adrien, don’t be scared to reach out”
“Mmmthanks”
“Dude, are you sleeping?”
“Resting my eyes”
“Yeah, yeah, come on, Kitty, I’ll get you set up”