Work Text:
Go talk to the person you love.
That would be Shawn.
The bar was crowded and filled with rowdy customers who'd either had too much to drink or were just settling in for a long night of drinking and it seemed as if most were alone and miserable.
Shawn wasn't the exception. He sat alone at at a table that had clearly saw better days; its surface was marred and nearly covered with various carvings - peoples initials; couples initials most likely. He didn't like to think about that; about how the only person he'd ever cared for, had ever opened up to and allowed himself to love (and he'd fallen before he even knew what hit him) chose to be with someone who wasn't him.
He wanted to be selfish; to put it all out there and let the chips fall where they may. It wouldn't be the first time, after all. He'd told Cory many times that he loved him and that love was always reciprocated; there was no doubt about that but it had never went his way. There was always someone else and he couldn't compete with Topanga. Not when she had so much to offer that he didn't; college and stability - a family that didn't include a costly adoption that they couldn't possibly afford.
He scoffed under his breath and shook his head - Way to torture yourself, Hunter.
Just as he'd decided to call it a night and was passing cash over to the bartender, Cory walked in and even after all these years he didn't even have to turn around to know. It was the cheesiest romantic cliche but it fit, it always had.
They fit.
"I've been looking for you, you could've let me know where you'd be. I was worried," Cory said as he took Shawn by the arm and turned him around, away from the prying eyes of the bartender as he leaned on the tarnished bar and pretended to be polishing a spot that all of the furniture polish in the world couldn't fix.
"Can we do this outside? I need some air," Shawn replied.
Distance. That's what I need.
He felt like he could breathe outside, could think and not blurt out something positively ridiculous in front of patrons who might not approve of such notions. Not that he'd planned to confess his undying love or anything.
"Shawn, it's over. We broke up; not us I mean. Topanga; it wasn't working out. We're too different for one another but what I realized when she was gone was that you're here and I'm alive so it must be you," Cory said; smile so wide that it made Shawn's heart do backflips in his chest.
Still he didn't want to get his hopes up. Despite the moments he'd shared with Cory along the years and a shared kiss as children (that hadn't been spoken of since but Shawn hadn't forgotten; never would) he needed tangible proof that something might actually happen between the two of them. He needed the sky to part and the earth to shatter around them; needed to hear the words.
"You know I'd take a bullet for you," he murmured, punctuating the statement with a light brush of his knuckles against Cory's arm.
He meant it - every word. Name the time and place; he'd be there. And if Cory told him he never wanted to see him again he'd take that bullet as well. It'd hurt like hell; like losing a part of him but he'd do it. Though he'd never quite replace Cory; he'd tried sometime in between meeting Angela (and he really had cared for her but it wasn't the same) and now but they always ended up too tall or trying too hard and everything was wrong. He'd carefully picked them (he'd dated three men at most, not at the same time of course) and the similarities between them and Cory ended at physical.
He'd tried - God he'd tried so hard but he'd had his heart set on Cory Matthews from the moment he'd pressed a hand against his chest and refused to let him walk away when they were children; when he'd stayed and from that point on there was no going back.
"No...no Shawnie. I love you," Cory murmured as he pulled Shawn in for a hug and held on as tight as he could, hands fisted in Shawn's leather jacket and face pressed against his own.
It felt right, natural to echo the sentiment; if only Cory knew exactly how much he meant those words - "I love you too, Cor and I'm not ashamed of it."
He felt lighter somehow - each word setting flight to every unspoken profession of love that he'd ever wanted to utter.
The arms around him tightened as if Cory were afraid he might run off if he let go & the concept was tempting. He didn't like feeling vulnerable; open for attack whether it be intentional or - more likely - unintentional.
"Hey Shawn," Cory whispered.
"Yeah?"
"I meant that."
Shawn froze for a moment with arms still holding Cory, the two of them standing outside of a busy bar with patrons coming and going - most minding their own business. Before he had a chance to ask what that meant, an aging man with tattoo's and graying hair stood watching them as he pulled back, still loosely holding on - not quite ready to let go yet.
"Okay now I'm ashamed," he joked.
The last thing he needed was an audience because he'd came so close to confessing everything and hoping that Cory didn't run the other way.
Idiot, idiot, idiot.
The man shrugged with a smile on his face - "There's no need to be ashamed." And with that he nodded at them and left - presumably to catch up with his ride home.
And there it was - the chance to blow this wide open or to shrug off the man's comment and turn it into a joke and he wasn't about to take that leap, wasn't sure exactly where to go from here as Cory hadn't revealed anything he didn't know before. Of course they loved one another - they'd grown up together. Where one was the other was sure to be there and in the rare chance that Shawn was without Cory or vice-versa someone would tug one of them aside and ask if everything was alright.
That was just as well - neither had attempted to hide whatever this was nor had they confirmed or made it official.
Shawn attempted to slide his arm away from where it was currently draped along Cory's waist but Cory stopped him with a hand on his own as if holding hands in front of a seedy bar was something they always did.
"Lets go talk somewhere quieter," Cory suggested as he eyed a taller man who'd had too much to drink stumble a bit as he stared at their hands - the man grinned sloppily then made his way back into the bar.
"Okay, sure."
They ended up walking hand in hand down the street and around the bend to a park which cast shadows against the sidewalk as it stood with the bare essentials - an exoskeleton of an abandoned park that was currently under repair by the county.
"Sit," Cory said as he tugged Shawn down onto a patch of grass under a tree that served well as a chair with its berth.
"Okay you got me out here now tell me what's wrong," Shawn replied as he scooted in next to Cory and purposely untangled his hand - choosing instead to pluck grass and rub it between his fingers; the rough texture giving him something to focus his nervous energy on.
Stop figeting. This is Cory . There's nothing to be nervous about, besides he's probably going to ask for advice but that's a dangerous path to take. He knows I won't hide the truth from him - generic answers. I can go with those.
Cory's voice drew him out of his own head - "Well? Do you think it could work?"
"Sure, sure. Why not?"
Cory grinned widely - "You do?"
"Of course I do but could you just...? Maybe refresh me on what we were talking about? I mean I heard you, I just wanna make sure."
Cory sighed and plucked the blade of grass that Shawn had very nearly mangled to death, from out of his hands and replaced it with his own before flipping Shawn's over and lacing their fingers together.
"I don't know...I've been thinking and we've been best friends our whole lives and you know me better than anyone and you're here and I'm here...I think we could do this."
Shawn felt dizzy - as if his entire world were enclosed in a snow globe that had been flipped upside down and all of the pieces along with it.
"What're you trying to say here, Cor?"
"This," Cory replied as he leaned in and pressed his lips against Shawn's - quickly so as not to give himself time to chicken out. He'd been working up the nerve to tell Shawn how he felt for weeks and in the end Topanga had been the one to give him that final push. He'd wanted to know that this wouldn't change things for any of them; the last thing he'd wanted was to ruin friendships he'd spent nearly his entire life building.
'You love him and he loves you. I don't see what the problem is," she'd said when three weeks had passed since their untimely break-up. She'd known all along and told him so and that they both deserved happiness. His happiness was wrapped around a person he couldn't live a day without.
'You don't understand, Topanga.'
'I understand that both of you are more of a couple than we ever were and he makes you happy. It's that simple, Cory.'
'You're right. I'll call him up.'
On the other end of the line, she sighed - 'That's not how it goes, Cory. You have to tell him in person or he won't believe you. It's not everyday that someone tells him they've been in love with him for years.'
'But what if he...'
'He won't.'
'Are you sure you're on board with this? I never meant to...I can't...what I'm trying to say is that I do love you, Topanga but...'
'You love him in a different way, maybe more. I knew that from the start, besides I'm pretty sure that if we ever married I'd have to marry both of you.'
Cory laughed - she was right.
'Let me know how it goes.'
He couldn't stop grinning at the direction his life had taken - maybe he really could have it all.
Shawn felt as if the tilt in his world wasn't so bad after all, maybe upside down was the way he'd always been and Cory was forever at the center. This was a world they'd built together; a tilted utopia where everything was the way it should be.
Cory moved to pull away, likely waiting for the anger and hurt but Shawn simply smiled against his lips and wrapped a hand around the nape of his neck before tugging him in closer. He'd waited for this moment for too long and a quick peck on the lips wouldn't do.
Cory's lips parted under his own and he took that as an invitation to dive in deeper and come up breathless; to make this a kiss to remember - something he'd been craving since he first pressed his lips against Cory's as children and saw fireworks with his heart pounding harder in his ears.
He eased into the kiss slowly; pulling away then back again before sliding his tongue against Cory's in a manner that left nothing up to speculation.
More of this, more of this for the rest of my life. He is my life.
Shawn broke the kiss long enough to Cory him down onto the grass; damp with dew as it left small wet patches on the back of his shirt.
Cory was ready to protest, hands gripping sharp hipbones through jeans, when Shawn let go only for Cory to be silenced by wet kisses against the side of his neck (that Shawn is hoping will leave small purple bruises; tangible proof that he wasn't alone in this - it wasn't a dream and he wouldn't wake up alone in his bed with Cory sleeping peacefully across from him) and along the underside of his jaw.
"You said my name...Angela"
Shawn froze - "What?"
Cory took this as the perfect opportunity to do something he'd been wanting to do for ages; explore the planes and angles of Shawn's face with his fingertips; marveling at the fact that he'd loved this man since he first laid eyes on him and despite the odds that he was sure were stacked against him, Shawn loved him back in a way that most people only dreamed of being loved.
He watched as Shawn's eyes fluttered closed and he tensed up.
"She said that you said my name when...you were with her."
She was the second to know; to see what you didn't. The first being Topanga.
Shawn groaned and dropped his head to Cory's chest - "That's not...true. It's not."
"But what if it was?," Cory asked.
They were doing a waltz around the obvious but he'd been obsessing over that one sentence for months; telling himself he was reading too much into it but with Shawn under him peppering kisses anywhere he could reach, he knew she was right. He'd let Shawn's name drop from his lips at least twice and after the second time Topanga hadn't even questioned him about it. She'd ended the relationship two weeks later with an explanation that Cory should be with the one he loves and acknowledging that yes, he did love her, but it would never be in the way that she'd prefer.
Shawn resisted the urge to bolt in the other direction - Cory would only tag along behind him anyway so why make it even more awkward?
Cory couldn't help but smile - Shawn was the worst liar he'd ever met and truth be told he felt a sense of relief wash over him. He'd barely avoided a close encounter when he'd dreamed of Shawn (a particular dream that'd make him blush all the way down to his toes) and woke up with his name on his lips. He'd covered with a well timed 'You're my best friend' and Shawn had bought it, choosing to thank him for it then passing out.
"What's so funny? Why're you smiling at me like that? Something on my face?"
"You're a horrible liar, Shawnie."
Shawn's eyes widened as he attempted to sit up and disentangle himself from Cory - "Am not."
"Yeah you are. You know how I know?"
"How?"
It was now Cory's turn to keep his face downcast and pluck at blades of grass - "I did it too."
You thought about me when you were in bed with her...wow.
For a moment he wasn't sure where to go from here or whether to resist Cory who was pushing him against the grass once more.
"Thanks," he replied and cringed. Wrong response, he wasn't good with putting his feelings out there; paper was his ally.
Cory laughed and covered Shawn's body with his own - "You're...welcome?"
"Don't laugh at me, if I had a piece of paper this would be easier."
"Today must be your lucky day then," Cory said as he tugged a partially crumpled paper and pen from his pocket. "Write it down."
Shawn groaned but took the paper anyway and retreated to lean against the tree. Upon flipping the paper over he smiled - "Cinabon receipt. Guess we know who's the sentimental sap in this relationship."
RELATIONSHIP? way to ruin everything, maybe he didn't catch that.
"You left it with the cinnamon roll by accident," Cory grinned.
Shawn couldn't help but laugh - he'd been obvious from the get-go, apparently.
On the back of the receipt he scribbled - I'm in love with my best friend. I hope he feels the same or I'm gonna look like a real jerk.
Cory read the words once then again for good measure, cheeks turning pink with embarrassment.
"How long? Forever I guess," Shawn murmured before Cory could ask the question he'd been pondering - a timeline of when things between them had shifted only to find out that they'd both been waiting for the other to say something, anything.
From day one, pal.
Cory carefully folded the paper then slipped it into his wallet for safekeeping.
"Seems like we're both having that problem," he replied and tried his best not to get choked up. It was rare that Shawn ever confess any feeling at all especially this.
Shawn laid back onto the grass with arms tucked behind his head. He couldn't manage to wipe the smile off of his face; he was a lucky man who could kiss his best friend everyday of his life if he wanted to & he did - every single day of forever.
Cory roughly draped himself over Shawn like a blanket and buried his face in the crook of his neck where he peppered kisses on every inch of skin there that he could reach - "So does this mean we're married?," he asked with a chuckle.
Shawn grinned - "I'm not sure, we agreed that our kids would look like horses, remember?"
"But you like horses," Cory countered.
"You got me there. You sure this is what you want?"
"Only if you agree to not beat me in video games or fuss over cleaning."
"Deal. Now lets go back to the dorm before someone sees us."
Cory stood and feigned irritation - "Is that how it is? Are you ashamed to be seen with me now?"
Never.
"Not in a million years," Shawn answered as he held a hand as a notion for help.
"One last thing, Mr. Cory," Cory said as he stepped closer and curved both arms around Shawn's neck.
This kiss was different from the others - bold and passionate with Shawn's hands wandering over clavicle bone and into Cory's hair before skimming his side and landing on both hipbones as Cory walked them towards the tree once more and pushed Shawn back up against it.
"It's Mr. Hunter and Mr. Hunter," Shawn murmured as he tilted his head to the side to allow Cory access to his neck and nearly went weak in the knees at the touch of his tongue on bare skin.
Cory decided to concede for now - though Cory Hunter did have a nice ring to it.
Poem by Shawn (that was most certainly about Cory this time):
you and me, we were written in the stars
we're millions of supernovas like the world has never seen
and I've tried to close my eyes and pretend that a comet is a star
but I only ended up with the worst kind of burn;
the one that says my heart is already taken
and I don't want it back
you and me;
we're living on the edge, babe
and there's nowhere I'd rather be