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Sam and Shane have been friendly enough as coworkers for a while.
Sometimes Shane will even humor him by engaging him in conversation at work. He actually doesn’t seem like a bad guy. Funny even, if you like a deadpan sort of humor. But he’s closed off anywhere else. On Friday nights Sam watches over the pool table as Shane silently gets so drunk he stumbles home.
He worries about him. Despite Shane’s reputation around town as someone to steer clear of, Sam cares about everyone. And he knows he’s one of the few people Shane will talk to at all.
Things seem to get worse with his drinking. He’s calling out at work more. Coming in late.
Sam starts to come out at night to watch and make sure he gets home okay. He’s usually up when the saloon closes anyway. On nights where Shane’s stumbling badly, Sam goes out into the cold and follows him just in case. You never know with alcohol poisoning. He’s seen it at a party once and never wants to see it again.
But he will if he has to.
One bad winter night he’s following Shane as he does, when they round the corner and he just disappears on the other side. Sam looks around, it’s exceptionally dark on this path into the forest. He’s considering turning the flashlight app on on his phone when he suddenly gets pinned against the nearest barren tree.
“Why the fuck are you following me?” Shane hisses, the alcohol thick on his breath.
“Shane what the fuck!” His heart is racing. Has Shane ever been this close to him before?
“No, you what the fuck! Answer me!”
“I’m just worried!”
Shane groans angrily and lets him go. “Perfect! Of course you’re fucking worried. Let me just add you to the Yoba-damned list of people to disappoint then. No- just don’t okay? Do me a favor and don’t.”
Sam doesn’t know what to say. Despite being a big guy, he doesn’t like confrontation. Never has. He just wants people to be happy.
But Shane seems to want an answer. He’s still standing there, huffing cloudy breaths into the night and staring.
So Sam meekly says what he is thinking. “I just want everyone to be happy.”
An explosive sound comes out of Shane that has Sam flinching, certainly the beginning of a rant, but then he stops as suddenly as he started. He deflates. When his voice comes out next it is weak and broken.
“Of course you do, Sam.” He sighs, and it sounds so sad Sam almost wishes he was angry again. “But maybe some people aren’t built to be happy.”
Sam steps closer to him, just wanting to see into his eyes again in the near darkness. “I don’t believe that,” Sam whispers, Shane looking up to meet his eyes again. “I don’t think you really believe that either.”
“No, you’re right… I think I was happy once. But that might be even worse. If I had never been happy this might hurt less.”
Shane’s eyes are glassy. He’s close enough to hug and Sam is tempted to, but resists. “What happened, Shane?”
“So much. Too much,” he gives a sharp, sort of rueful chuckle as he looks away. But his body stays close. Maybe its the cold that keeps him close, but his cheeks are flushed with heat. "You know I'm turning thirty soon?"
Sam bites his lip, tempted to make a joke. When Shane meets his eyes again though, he can't help it. "Actin' real sixteen to be thirty," he mumbles with a smirk.
Shane elbows him but laughs. "Shut the fuck up. Idiot."
"I'm right though."
"So am I."
"Yeah, I can be an idiot and also right."
Shane laughs again and shakes his head. "Yeah."
"So that's what's got you like this then? That you're turning thirty?"
Shane bites at the inside of his cheek. "Just puts things into perspective, I guess."
Sam nods, though he doesn't really understand. He looks up into the night sky as the silence stretches, eyes hopping from star to star. "D'you think I'll get like that when I'm thirty?"
Shane scoffs, so Sam looks down at him again. "Hard to imagine you ever being anything but nauseatingly positive."
Sam's smile widens. "I'll try and take that as a compliment."
"Course you would," he grumbles. After a moment of silence he speaks again. "Sam?"
"Hm."
"I don't actually want you to stop, by the way."
"I know." Sam leans forward and opens his arms, half-expecting to be pushed away. But Shane hugs him. He leans his head on Shane's and murmurs, "I won't."