Archive of Our Own

It had begun so many years ago now that Harvey wasn’t even sure what to make of it. The fact that he had gone with the Wayne heir to middle school was just something that the people from his class accepted as truth and gospel at this point. They were all approached earlier regarding stories from the press. Many had sold out, Harvey had not.

Harvey had many stories to tell. For at the time, they were what could be considered close. They were best friends, and he had convinced Bruce into a promise of sorts. A coin toss for the future. If it landed on tails, they would be engaged for however long it was until one of them finally did get married and it lasted. His divorce and prerequisite marriage probably would have ended that one. But, the coin never landed on tails, instead it had landed on heads. Heads they agreed if they were both unmarried at 30, they would just marry each other.

God, Harvey really must have been a fool way back then, because he had spent the next year collecting enough scraps of money that he could afford a diamond ring. Not one that necessarily would have been acceptable for someone quite as rich as Bruce was, but nothing too shabby either. The salesperson had barely been able to keep in laughter when this small barely into high school teenager demanded the ring. The salesperson had been impressed by the cash though and sold him the ring.

It wasn’t the ring that he gave Gilda. No, it had sat burning in his pocket when he asked her to marry him with the brand new ring that he purchased for her. It had burned in his pocket when he realized that the same batman that had abandoned him to his life of pain and suffering was the same Bruce Wayne that he had spent half a decade wondering whether he’d marry. The burning never really went away.

Sure, the confrontation and life he was living as two-face helped. It didn’t help a lot. Making people face the same kind of choices as the one that haunts him doesn’t really bring any of it back. It doesn’t change the fact that the man he loved thought him so dark and twisted that he hadn’t come to save him when kidnapped. It almost makes him feel better with the voices in his head though, so complaints weren’t really falling all that much.

Harvey needed this damn ring gone. He had kept it past 30, they were 45 now. Or at least Bruce was. He had let this weight be carried for so long, and he was done. The ball wasn’t in his court now if it ever even had been. He couldn’t get rid of the love that rotted and corroded at his insides and forced him to give a shot towards people. He couldn’t stop loving Bruce enough to kill the bat. But, he could at least get rid of the ring. He could throw the ring in his face and at least make sure that all of them knew. That had to be worth something. He needed that to be worth something.

So, he set up a scenario. Full of fake hostages to lure Bruce to him. Sure, it would be in the batman getup. But, hell, if at this point, Bruce hadn’t figured out that he knew it was him, sue him, he wasn’t letting go of that trump card tonight. It hadn’t done him any good so far.

“Dent, let go of the hostages,” Bruce demanded as he arrived at the warehouse.

Christ, his voice was still haunting his dreams. Maybe this was the worst plan yet, because he was going to have to live with whatever words came out of Bruce’s mouth in response to all of this, and he maybe wasn’t prepared for that. However, he couldn’t back down now. “There are no hostages.”

“What? You plan on trying to trap me.”

Harvey laughed, threw his head back and just continuously tried really hard to regain control of his body. Oh, god. Bruce would assume that. Despite the fact that Two-face had made a rather deliberate effort to never truly hurt Bruce. Hell once, he found out that Bruce had actually started adopting the pipsqueaks following him around in the robin costumes, he had stopped attacking them with lethal force too.

“Whatever you have planned, I’ll put a stop to, Harvey.”

“Bruce, shut up,” Harvey snapped.

That shocked Batman to the core. So apparently, Harvey hadn’t let it slip in all these years. That was interesting to note.

“I need to talk to you, and this seemed like the most guaranteed way to get you here for the conversation.”

“You know that at the end of the conversation, I’m going to bring you in.”

Harvey waved his hand. “We both know that I’m a decent lawyer who will make the court case a living hell to sit through. We both know that even if found guilty, they will find me too insane to actually be charged with the crimes because of the voices in my head and psychotic break I had after being tortured. And hell, we both know that when they send me to Arkham, I will be able to break out in three to four business days depending on who else is in there at the time.”

Bruce froze. “What? You think I’ll let you go because it’s inevitable for you to be back out on the streets. Come on, Harvey. On so many levels, you know me better than that.”

Harvey waved his hand. “That’s not for current us to decide. I’ll lend you a coin later if you want to flip on it. Right now, I want to have a conversation.”

Bruce took a second. He reached up to his ear. “I’m going to talk with him. I’ll bring him in when I’m done. Tell one of the others to patrol the rest of the evening.” Then, he turned off his comm unit.

“Kind of you, Bruce.”

Bruce scoffed. “We both know that we have a history. A history that you’ve not sold to the news despite the numerous times that you’ve been tight for cash and I almost expected you to sell me out.”

“At least one of us had to be honorable,” Harvey muttered under his breath. He still couldn’t believe that his middle school best friend had ever thought him capable of double crossing him in the name of justice.

Bruce leaned up against the wall. “What is it that you want to talk about?”

“Do you remember graduation?”

“Are we just going to stroll down memory lane or is there a point to all of this, Dent?”

“You switch between my first and last name depending on whether you’re annoyed or trying to make sense of something,” Harvey noted.

Bruce squeezed his hands. “For the love of god, I know you like being verbose but can you get to the bloody point? Yes, I remember graduation. It was the last time I saw you before my life went to hell and I became a vigilante.”

Harvey sighed. “Do you remember the coin toss? It was the first one, I ever did, so it is semi-important to me.”

“The fucking marriage pact. You called me all the way out here to fucking talk about a marriage pact we made when we were children for an age that passed a decade ago, when you’ve been married before.” Bruce fucking wheezed with laughter.

“Oh my god, you know there’s no way in hell that I’m marrying you, right?”

Harvey covered his face with his hands and groaned. Of course, him bringing up one of the most significant moments in his life would be met with laughter. Why wouldn’t it be met with laughter? This was a hell of his own making for sure. He didn’t know what god he had pissed off to deserve the torture and now this. Seriously, if he hadn’t already had his mental breakdown this would have triggered one for sure.

Harvey rubbed at his neck with one hand as the other reached for the ever burning pocket. “Yeah, Bruce, you’ve made that really fucking clear.”

“Fantastic then I don’t know what we’re doing here.”

Harvey shook his head and lobbed the ring at Bruce. “We’re here because if I carry your damn ring for another day, I feel like I’m going to burn myself alive. It has been yours since I was 15 years old, and I’m damn tired of holding onto it. It’s been nearly four decades for me. I can’t keep holding this ring pretending everything will be alright.”

“Harvey,” he whispered. There’s that damn expression of shock on his face again. The mask covered almost everything else up, but the sudden tension around the eyes was evidence for someone who knew him so well to know for a fact that this was going to end horribly because Bruce wasn’t so good with emotions that he was going to know what the hell to do with this practical love letter being handed to him.

“I don’t know how I kept it this long without taking a swan dive off a roof. I mean perhaps it was because I didn’t know it was you when I was being tortured. Sure, I knew that Batman had left me there to rot and ruin, but I didn’t know then that Batman was Bruce Wayne. The man I had loved since middle school.”

Harvey laughed and felt the tears start rolling down his cheeks. “Gods, man, you kept me alive. You were the reason I hung on, and then it was Gilda for a time, and then it was you again, only when it was you again, I knew the truth. I knew that the love was never returned. Not just because of the lack of trust with telling me who the hell you were but also because you knew who I was when you left me there. You had just turned 30 when you figured it out, and I almost came to the manor with the ring that day, but I figured that was going to end with us trying to kill each other, and I’ve tried really really hard not to actually hurt you once I knew.”

“But,” Harvey continued, not wanting to let Bruce have a word in edge wise. He didn’t want to know whatever excuse that Bruce was going to cook up in his head. “It’s been fifteen years, and I still feel it calling on me. Maybe to honor that first coin flip because of the fractures in my mind or maybe because I still love you, I don’t know. But I can’t carry the damn thing anymore, and it was always yours anyway, so I’m returning it.”

“You hear me, Bruce. I’m returning the damn ring, and unless you’re going to recover from your shock enough to stop me, I’m going to leave.” He waited a minute just to see whether Bruce was going to, but his eyes were still glued onto the ring. He took that as a good enough reason to skip out of the rest of the meeting.

The next week passed in a blur. He felt more stable than he had in a long time as long as he let the coin decide what actions he was going to take, which is why he was surprised to see Nightwing sitting at his base of operations with a host of his goons tied up and on the ground.

Two-face stared at the previous Robin in bewilderment. “Did you need something?”

“A conversation, preferably alone.”

Two-face nodded. That made some sense, he supposed. Actually, it made no sense. Even if Bruce had told his children what had happened, why any of them would then choose to seek him out was bewildering and slightly closer to his brand of madness than rational. “No weapons, and I’ll take you into the back where I have food.”

Nightwing tossed his weapons onto the ground in front of the goons. One after another after another, until honestly the pile of weapons was a little ridiculous. “I’ll want these back.”

“Of course. Presuming the men I’ve hired can get out of the ropes, they won’t touch your stuff, they’ll be too busy dealing with the rather obvious breach in security.”

Several nods accompanied his pronouncement. Likely because they were all a little scared of what he would do now that they had failed in such an important task. Luckily for them, he was merciful with the coin, he’d let it decide his actions, just as soon as Nightwing and him had had their conversation for whatever good it did.

Nightwing followed him into the back room. So, Two-face took off the mask he wore on the unburned portion of his face and set about making some food. He had planned to eat curry this night, but he knew from his observations that Nightwing didn’t prefer Indian most of the time. So he would still use the rice, but maybe a stir-fry instead.

“Are you going to talk to me or just cook?”

Harvey snorted in response. “Darling, you’ve come to me, and since I haven’t the foggiest clue what you want or need to talk to me about, you’re going to have to do the heavy lifting for the first part of this conversation, I’m afraid.”

“Oh.”

There was silence between them for a while as Harvey just continued cooking the food on the stove.

“Do you know who I am?”

Finally, a question with a straight forward answer. It would make sense for the kids with secret identities to be scared that the man who had unveiled their father might also have unveiled them. At long last, he could at least understand this. “Yes, Richard, Dick, Grayson. You needn’t worry though. Just as I have long kept your father’s secrets safe from the news and public, I will keep yours as well.”

Dick frowned.

“It’s not a fault on your skills at hiding. Once I figured out that Bruce and Batman were one and the same, it was easy to figure out that his reasoning for becoming a father had to do with the young robins following him around. I believe as of right now, I’m the only one who knows all of you.”

“So you know I’m his kid.”

“Yes, that’s been on the news, kid.”

“I’m not a kid anymore.”

Harvey waved that off. “You’re his kid, he’s him. You’ll probably always be kid in my head.” He sat a plate of stir-fry down in front of Dick. “Eat.”

Dick didn’t check the food for poison, which was an interesting development. Harvey would have expected a bit more trepidation from Bruce’s kids. Bruce was a healthy paranoid man when he wanted to be. “You broke him by the way.”

“Bruce.” Harvey laughed at that. “Well turn around is fair play, I say.”

“I have questions because the story we got from Bruce doesn’t really, well it doesn’t quite make sense.”

Harvey laced his fingers together over his plate. “Oh, do share with the class. I do so love clearing up confusion.”

“He said you’d had the ring for decades.”

“Yeah, I bought it the year after we made the damn pact. I was planning on giving it to him then, but his parents died and he disappeared for a while. By the time he was back, I wasn’t really sure how to approach him.”

“You bought a ring from a marriage pact?”

Harvey nodded.

“Dad wouldn’t have known you loved him.”

“What?”

Dick nodded his head as he ate his last bite of stir-fry. “I was trying to figure it out. The whole how on Earth he missed having someone propose, but this makes more sense. He can barely handle the fact his kids love him even when we don’t like him. He definitely doesn’t get yours. I wouldn’t be discouraged, he hasn’t told any of us to stop yet, and well if you know about me, you know about Jason. If Jason is still his son and loved, well, you’ve got a fighting chance.”

Harvey sat there at the counter with his stir-fry growing cold as Dick left his base of operations. He had left this conversation more confused than he had began it, and honestly, he wasn’t sure what the hell that said about the situation. Eventually, he managed to eat his food and stare at his coin.

Heads, he’d kill all of them for being incompetent help to a criminal organization. Tails, he’d let them all go with horrible recommendations and let the law slowly pick them up for their variety of small white collar crimes. He tossed the coin. Tails, damn, no murder today.

He had just finished firing all of the idiots when his phone began to ring. He stared at the unknown number for a minute and considered tossing the damn thing into the harbor. He did not need any more weirdness, thank you very much. He thought he was going to get rid of the burning sensation by getting rid of the ring, not increase it as the man he loves children came calling on him. At least, he was pretty sure that was going to be who was on the other end of the phone. Only two of them would have the skills to hack his number.

He answered. “Hello.”

“Hello.”

He was silent. Female voice, probably, Bruce’s daughter and Dick’s ex. But, he would wait to see what was coming.

“Do you know who called you?”

“Yes, Oracle.”

There was faint static on the other end. “Right, umm, well, bye.”

“Wait, Barbara Gordon, I know who the other you is too. I just wasn’t sure what you were looking for.”

“Oh, so you do know.”

“Yes, I know you’re one of the adopted children of my not-fiancee. Fair warning, your brother got here first, so if we’re just rehashing all of those questions, I’d honestly prefer you leave me in solicitude and ask your brother.”

She laughed. “Babs.”

“Huh?”

“Family calls me Babs. And I already know what you told Dick, I’m the one who had to get everyone on a single call line.”

Harvey’s head hurt. These children were going to be the death of his nice normal plan to get some good sleep tonight. “Alright, Babs, and what exactly can I do for you?”

“Three things.”

Good gods, this family was insane. He was right, between him and Bruce he wasn’t the one that needed to be locked up in Arkham. Because who raises their children to call super villains and say they needed three things out of the blue.

“One, this number. Now that I’ve called and you’ve picked up, you should have the ability to call it if you ever need to. You should use it. If you’re ever in a spot of trouble and what not, just call me, I’ll route whoever is closest to get you out of the danger.”

“Pardon?”

“Yes, it’s very important you have the number or a tracker. Given that you probably aren’t all that comfortable with a tracker at the moment, it’s for the best that you have the number.”

“Two, family dinners are every other Sunday. This Sunday is an off one, but I do expect you to be present the week after. They’re at Wayne manor, impossible to miss when you’re driving around there.”

Harvey was about to interject and ask why the hell this applied to him.

“Three, I know I don’t really have the right to ask this of you and that it really ought to be my father making amends and stuff, but please try not to hate him. He didn’t know you were in love with him. He’s a delightful idiot about it. I had to make a huge deal out of the family dinners being for those I loved before he realized that he was actually welcome at the table and loved.”

The line went dead before he could respond. Harvey considered the other actions he had intended to take before retiring that night and decided none of them couldn’t be put off until the morning. He was pretty sure he was just threatened into the Wayne family, and he wasn’t sure how in the hell throwing the ring back at Bruce’s face had made him closer to family than anything before had managed.

The next day was going mostly normal. He had to go looking for more hired guns, which while annoying was absolutely necessary. Especially, if the bat’s family was just going to start dropping by. He was going to have to update the new hires on how if the bat family comes, they were to take weapons and escort them to the doors to his private areas rather than trying to stop them. During crimes, they could be attacked but never drastically harmed nor killed. This would be important for the new hires to understand, as the consequences for breaking such an important piece of his puzzle would be high.

“How many have you found?” A voice came from behind him.

“Three. Most of the good ones have found bosses, and the arrests haven’t been so recent that the newly freed from engagement ones are looking presently.”

“You can borrow some of mine, if you have need.”

Two-face turned to see which villain was offering such a good deal and what the price of such aid would be when he came face to face with red hood. It took quite a bit of effort to not turn and march himself right back out of this troublesome little conversation. However, he could use the help much as he was loathe to admit, and with two of the seven kids down, it seemed only fair to hear the third out as well. “And what precisely would the payment for that be?”

“Keep your coin games away from my people,” Jason said easily enough. “You want to piss of Gotham, go right ahead. Punish the people who keep looking the other way at tragedy, fine. But my people are the ones that keep getting pushed down because of all of you lunatics and Bruce’s no kill rule, so don’t fucking touch them.”

Harvey hesitated for a second. “You alright?”

Jason grunted. “Nah, but Babs already reached out and told me that if I valued my favorite possessions, I’d do what she said and play nice.”

Two-face glanced at his watch. The additional men as needed from red hood would save him from having too much trouble, and the three henchmen already hired could handle the overseeing of him moving locations due to the massive layoff that had just occurred. Killing them really would have saved him time and energy, but oh well. “Want to take off some steam?”

“What?”

“I know a good place for an old fashioned brawl between two rogue villains. I’m sure that we could pass the time, and who knows, maybe it’ll help your mood.”

Jason paused. “Why offer that to me?”

“Why not?” Harvey volleyed back. “I mean, I threw a ring at Bruce’s face after carrying it around for far too many years. I expected shock, anger, maybe even an increased desire to put me behind bars for a while. I did not see his adopted children approaching me, one after another, but I suppose that’s what I get for thinking that Bruce would have normal children.”

Jason’s lips twitched.

“Plus, I suppose based on Babs’ decision, you’re mostly my children now.”

“What?”

“Did she not tell you? Apparently I’m considered family, and since god only knows that Bruce is all of your father, that makes me closer to parent material than sibling material as family, so I have a vested interest in making sure you’re in a good mood.”

Jason stared at him. “Alright. Fine, but I’m not going light on you.”

“Avoid actively causing the scars to re-bleed, and I’ll be fine with that.”

Harvey probably should have considered the fact that Red Hood was a martial based fighter before he had offered this fight. He should have thought about the fact that Red Hood might want to make it clear that Bruce had a no kill rule but that he didn’t. Instead, he found himself flat on his back for the fifth time in as many minutes and a dizzying headache.

Jason did offer him a hand to help him up though. “Thanks, that did help.”

“Has he ever offered?”

Jason scoffed. “We don’t talk about it much. We go out of our way to avoid talking about the fact that I don’t believe he loves me anymore, and we go out of our way to pretend that this isn’t obligation keeping us in contact with one another.”

“He would have begged,” Harvey said softly.

“What?”

“Had Joker been paying attention, he would have heard the pleas that Bruce was making for your safety. He would have traded anything in this world to have saved you, and if it had been a matter of killing him or saving you, he would have killed. But he didn’t reach you in time and killing Joker wouldn’t have made you any less dead. Letting Dick become a killer wouldn’t have made you rise from your grave. So, stop considering what happened after, and look at what he did and would do in the future.”

Harvey braced against the wall. “You’re on my don’t touch list, along with the rest of the squabble that Bruce adopted over the years. You were the one that I questioned over the most because you didn’t seem to be all that invested in the family, but I asked myself if Bruce were here next to me what would he do if I told him I was a coin toss away from hurting you or keeping you out of harm’s way. Do you know what I realized he’d do?”

“No,’ Jason’s voice was wavering.

“He would have begged. He would have gotten on his knees and pleaded with me to put you on the list, to not flip the coin. He would have done anything I asked to ensure you weren’t targeted.” Harvey reached out and placed a hand on Jason’s shoulder. “I get why you feel that way. I truly to get it. God knows I get it. But your father was coming for you, he just didn’t make it in time to do anything. I promise you that.”

Jason froze unable to make his voice work for a moment. The mask likely being the only thing keeping Harvey from knowing that he was crying, as if Harvey didn’t know the signs of a breakdown like this. “He didn’t know.”

“What?”

“That you were being tortured that night. He knew that you were taken, kind of, and there was debate on whether they should waste resources before hearing the demands, but he didn’t know that they were torturing you for information. He would have come if he had known that.”

“How?”

Jason shrugged. “I asked once why you hated him, and Bruce told me a lot of things that didn’t match up with what I later learned on the streets, so I asked him again, and I realized that somewhere down the line, the story was being twisted and shit. So, here’s me, trying to help you like you helped me, I guess. He didn’t know.”

“He didn’t trust me.”

“Can’t change that. His trust issues are a mountain I wouldn’t choose to climb for anyone. But you know the bastard well, even I can tell that and you apparently love him too, so maybe for you that mountain is worth climbing.”

Harvey wasn’t sure as Jason left his sparring arena how they had gone so quickly off the rails for what he had planned. He had planned to make Jason feel better about the whole situation with Bruce. A final hurrah for his love with Bruce to have a chance to help one of them. Not so that he felt like the floor had caved in on him.

If Bruce hadn’t known about the torture, then maybe Harvey could keep loving him. It wasn’t as if the actual love was the issue. Harvey could love the man even while dying that had been proven time and time again. Harvey just didn’t want to be in an unrequited love match where the person he loved was constantly using that as a weapon to hurt him. He just couldn’t handle that anymore.

Only, what if Bruce hadn’t been the one to hurt him? What if Bruce had been a distrusting idiot who thought that Harvey had willingly gone? What if he had been a vigilante then and they hadn’t been torturing but trying to bribe? Then, Bruce’s actions made a lot of sense. And Batman had appeared apologetic the first meeting they had after everything.

Shit, having that conversation with Bruce was anything but something that he wanted to do right now. It seemed like a good way to get himself into even more trouble. Christ, maybe a coin toss. Heads, he buries his head in the sand about this and goes on with his day. Tails, he tries to contact Bruce.

He had barely fished the coin out, when the blonde girl collapsed next to him on the floor. He blinked. Sure, this was a private enough area, but there was no attempt at concealing the identity. “Stephanie.”

“Got grounded again,” she muttered.

“You’re over 18.”

“He has control over my suits, still.”

Harvey was stunned into silence. Spoiler and once a Robin, still allowed Bruce to have complete control over when she could or couldn’t go out in the hero business. That just spelled recipe for disaster. You couple that with Bruce’s inability to really understand trust or love or family, and you mix in the fear she has that she was nothing more than a replacement because Bruce treated her like one.

He rubbed his face with a free hand. “How?”

“How what?”

“How is your family more fucked up than I even realized? How the fuck am I in love with this bastard of a man who never treated me right, can’t seem to treat his kids right, and now I’m the one who ends up patching up his kids? Like how did this happen?”

“From what I hear from Bruce, it happened in middle school.”

That caused Harvey to start laughing uncontrollably. “Oh god, this is a childhood crush. I’m in this mess because of a childhood crush.”

“Whoo. Couldn’t be me. That would mean I was still doing stuff because I was in love with my brother and that’d be awkward.”

Harvey snorted. That would be a horrible situation. Funny as hell though given that so many of them could never escape their exes because Bruce adopted them at some point. “So, why are you here?”

“Got grounded, got bored, knew about this whole mess of a situation, figured I’d see what you were up to.”

“Moving.”

“Why?”

“Because the last set of idiots I hired to protect my assets were unable to keep Nightwing out.”

Stephanie looked at him for a second. “Few people can keep us out if we decide we’re going to get in some place. It’s part of Bruce’s training regime.”

“They should have done better than they did.”

“Probably. Dick did mention that it was ridiculously easy to get access to you.”

“I might have hindered them a bit.”

“What?”

“I mean I do have a rule that they can’t really harm you.”

“Who’s you?”

“All of Bruce’s kids,” he admitted sullenly.

Stephanie covered her mouth. “Holy shit.”

“Shut up.”

“No, no. We are not jumping past this. You’ve been keeping us safe. For how long?”

“Second I knew who Bruce was.”

Stephanie laughed. “You put all of us down.”

“Once he got a new kid, I added the name. Some of your civilian names took a bit longer to suss out. Not yours, as you know, but others.”

Stephanie huffed. She stood up as she did. “I”m pretty sure if it weren’t for my siblings, I wouldn’t even be his kid and I definitely wouldn’t be a robin.”

Harvey barely stopped himself from face palming. What was up with Bruce not telling his children that he loved them? This was getting ridiculous. Harvey under no circumstances should be in charge of fixing his broken ass relationship with several of his kids.

Somehow though, he was patching up Bruce’s life when he was supposed to be separating them. He groaned softly. “Your brother really did a number on me, so how about we continue this conversation somewhere with food and preferably a soft place to sit?”

“You’re moving, we can’t go to your place.”

Harvey couldn’t deny that. Nor was it particularly easy for him to just walk into a restaurant these days.

Stephanie pulled him up off the ground, way nicer than Jason did. “I know a place, come on.”

She took him to this diner with comfortable booths. She smiled at the waitress who came over to greet them and ordered for them both.

Harvey was going to ask her how she knew his order, but the look on her face told him that it was guess work and she was hoping to be told she did well. Dammit all to hell, why Bruce? “Thank you.”

She grinned. “You’re welcome.”

“To talk more about your father. He wanted you.”

“You can’t know that.”

“You kids sure do like telling me that one. However, may I remind you, that I am in fact one of his oldest friends. Not that we’re still friends, but all the same. It was me and him in middle school. It was him and Harley in med school. Like honestly, maybe we need to talk about the fact all of his friends are quite literally a bit villainous.”

Stephanie gaped. “That’s why Harley knows him.”

“Jesus, does he tell you people nothing?”

Stephanie averted her gaze. “Or at least not me.”

The pancakes are delivered in between them on the table and Harvey started eating them immediately. He needed a good line of attack here to try to help Stephanie out. “You weren’t a replacement for Tim.”

“Wasn’t I?”

“No, you weren’t. He broke apart after you died the same way he did with Jason. You kids are his everything. It’s why you’re all on my no harm list. And before you ask, no not a single bit of that is to keep me safe so he doesn’t kill me when he’s in his darkest mood. Trust me, I have wished for that death many, many times.”

Stephanie froze. “He did say it was real, me being Robin, right before I died.”

“He would, if those were the last words you needed to hear, then of course he would.”

“I’m still grounded again.”

“Well, yeah. No offense, that’s going to continue until you decide to finally be done with his rules and stop listening, or haven’t you realized that all of his kids are a little different than him in terms of what they would do in the vigilante world, and you follow a little too closely Red Hood and I’s general side of the street. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t come for you the second you were in trouble, but it does mean that if you want his permission to do things, you aren’t going to be getting it.”

Stephanie frowned. “But that’s what I want.”

“Then change yourself into what he would want from an ideal vigilante. Be the kind of person that he would want on the streets.”

“I don’t know who that person is, and he wouldn’t tell me.”

Harvey sighed. “Christ, that man really needs to take a few parenting classes. Okay, let’s see how much help I can be. He’d want you to be kind. And I mean really and truly kind. You’d be doing this to save people not punish them hell not even to arrest them. You’d be primarily just keeping people safe from harm.”

“I can do that,” Stephanie said.

“You wouldn’t be piecing together where the next big bad is or who is going to attack next, the most you would be doing is tracking down kidnapped people and keeping drugs off the streets,” he warned.

“I could.” There was a stubborn set to her jaw that told him that she wanted Bruce’s pride even at the cost of who she was.

“Then do it.” Harvey didn’t think that this would last. Either she’d crash and burn when she realized that this skin fit over her imperfectly and she ripped it off or Bruce would realize that his daughter was actively trying to mold herself into his perfect daughter instead of being a real person and intervene. Regardless, she’d learn to be okay with herself more than what she was doing while chasing after him.

Stephanie and him finished off the pancakes in silence. “Can I ask one more question?” She whispered towards the window rather than him.

“Yes.”

“Is this all a coin toss to you? Have we just been getting really lucky with our tosses?”

Harvey considered this for a moment. “I told Bruce, and I’m not entirely sure that he told you in return, but this was the first coin toss I ever did. Heads, to marry; tails to just be engaged for eternity or until other partners. In a way, this is because of that coin toss, but if I was being honest with myself it was just to give me a reason to hide my crush for a while longer. Being gay and in love with my best friend wasn’t exactly something I had come to terms with. However, to be specific, I have never nor will I ever choose to flip a coin over you and your siblings. I am just me when I’m with you, the good and the bad.”

Stephanie grinned at him. “Thank you, Harvey.”

Harvey shook his head in amusement. He was going to wander the city while waiting for things, he supposed. Nothing more to do about it. He paid for the meal without really even thinking about it.

“Never thought I’d see her father,” the cook drawled stepping out of the kitchen as he was leaving.

“Oh, I’m not her father.”

“Aren’t you?”

“Just an ex of her father.”

“Ah,” the cook said. There was something hidden in that response, as if that wasn’t entirely accepted as answer, but that he wasn’t going to be interrogated today.

Harvey almost had a normal night and a normal day to follow it. Almost, he had forgotten about the Penguin being a bit pissed off about the fact that one of his coin tosses had shut down a ring that he had a significant penny tied up in. So, he was now being lectured by Penguin with a few guns trained on him. He really shouldn’t have let this slip, but like things kept happen.

Before he could start being truly concerned with what was happening, he caught a flash of red and gold from on top of a rooftop. That was strange given that he was pretty sure that Oracle had made it clear he did need to call presently and he hadn’t managed that. Still, he felt safer knowing a bat was around.

Penguin stared at him. “We have common enemies, which is the only reason that you’re not already dead. So, what do you say, will you pay me what you owe?”

“How much was it?” Harvey was mostly stalling for time at this point. Although he wouldn’t put it past himself to actually just pay up in another scenario. Unfortunately for this fool, he doesn’t know yet that this is a rather strange week to be targeting him.

Tim’s tranq darts hit the men with guns, before Penguin could answer the question. Red Robin swung down and handcuffed Penguin before the man could raise the alarm at all. He stared at Harvey. “How did you forget to avoid his parts of Gotham?”

“In my defense, it’s been a hell of a week.”

Tim glared. “Well, I’ve got enough messes to clean up, remember where your own fucking enemies are.”

“Of course. Imported coffee from Vietnam as payment. I can have it sent to your office.”

Tim’s eyes considered him for a moment. “Good enough.”

Penguin would have asked more questions, but he was already being tugged off by Red Robin towards where the cops were waiting. As an act of kindness, Harvey spent a few minutes making sure the rest of the henchmen were apprehended before slipping away.

Not enough of his life was given enough credit for being able to slip away without being arrested for a man with a very distinctive face at this point. Still, he did think that this was rather amusing. He was checking up on some of his current plans when his cell rang. He picked it up without looking at the caller ID. “Two-face.”

“Harvey, thank god! Listen, you’re the closest to Bat Girl’s location and I need you to go get her.”

“Oracle, slow down.”

“No time, Cass has been shot. I need to get her to the bat cave where she can have proper medical supervision and surgery as necessary, and I need it quickly. You’re the closest,” she crammed into a five second period of time.

“Barbara!” He shouted to cut her off from more of a rant. “I don’t care about the details. Tell me her location.”

Babs rattled off a street name and a shop. And Harvey started heading that way in his car. “Now, tell me a bit more.”

“What?”

“You said she was shot.”

“Yes.”

“Do you know whether the assailants are still present?”

“They are.”

Harvey reached for his own gun. Drive by shooting, stop the car, drag the bleeding girl into the passenger seat so he could keep as much blood in as possible, and get to the damn bat cave. Not entirely an impossible aim, but not an easy one. “Where was she shot?”

“Gut.”

He winced. That was not a good place to have a shot located. Sure, recovery was high if they could get her somewhere before the wounds caused any massive damage, but he wasn’t actually all that confident that they would be able to do that, easily. This would not be an easy black and white kind of scenario.

He saw the crime happening and grimaced. He did not want to deal with the Joker’s lackeys that were hanging around to watch her die. Still, he put the barrel of his gun out the window and started shooting. Two dead, two fleeing, and Cassandra laying on the ground, bleeding out. This was not the greatest day ever. He could pray that Bruce would at least bother getting the full story before going vengeful dad on his ass when he got there.

He jumped out of the car, stripping off the suit jacket he was wearing to wrap around her stomach and press in. “Hi there, I’m going to get you to help, okay?”

“Dad?”

Harvey chuckled. “Nope. Wrong vigilante villain in a suit, darling. It’s Harvey.”

“Dad,” she repeated.

Harvey didn’t correct her the second time. He could tell when delirium was setting in and it wasn’t worth arguing about that now. He picked her up and soothed her as her scream filled his ears, but he had to get her to the car. She kind of pooled in the seat and barely had pressure on her stomach, so Harvey had one arm pressing into her wounds and one hand on the wheel.

“Babs, directions, now.”

Her voice was soothing in his ear. He could tell after a few minutes that he had help on rooftops now from other members of the family ensuring that no one else was going to impede them reaching the bat cave. He drove the car in as instructed.

He was met by Alfred who appeared rather unhappy at his presence in this area. Then, Babs came rolling out to the car. She looked frazzled and seconds away from tears. Harvey responded the way he would to any child figure being that upset at a given scenario. He wrapped her up in his arms and held her tight. “It’ll be alright.”

“She was shot.”

“Several of your brothers have died, none of it has stuck. This one won’t either.”

Bruce came running down the stairs. “Prognosis, Alfred.”

“The bullet missed any major organs, but it’ll be a matter of debate on whether surgery to remove the bullet fragment will manage to not knick any of them, sir.”

Harvey rolled his eyes and tightened his arms around Babs. “She’ll be just fine.”

Bruce’s eyes found his in the room. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“He was Cassandra’s ride,” Alfred replied dryly. “And I need you in here with me.”

The rest of the kids slowly trickled in. They were all waiting just outside the room where Bruce’s paid doctors, Alfred, and Bruce were standing over Cassandra. Harvey should feel like an intruder in such a clearly private moment of their lives, but he felt right at home being able to give the kids hugs when they sought him out for one, and holding close to them. However, when he started to notice less movement in side the room, he knew it was time to slip away. “Will you be alright without me, Barbara?”

“Babs,” she whispered slightly.

“Not when you’re this upset, dear. For now, you’re my Barbara.”

She leaned into him. “I don’t want you to go. I don’t want to hear the news and how bad or close it was. I just want to know my sister is alive.”

Harvey cursed every god in existence that Bruce didn’t know how to fucking help his kids well.

Jason walked over and wrapped Babs up in his arms instead. “I’ve got it. Bruce won’t be reasonable at all if he finds out you’re still here, and we’ll need to keep him reasonable to get information about Cass.”

“Of course. If you would, though, one of you text me to let me know that she’s alright, I’d appreciate it.”

Harvey felt weird sneaking out of the bat cave. He didn’t feel much better by the time that he had managed to get back to his home base. He didn’t want to talk criminal enterprises, he didn’t want to look the law books, and he wasn’t sure what it was that he wanted.

His phone did buzz though, which he considered a miracle.

[Bat Girl] : I’m alive

[Two-Face] : You should still be asleep

[Bat Girl] : The drugs are good, but I am rather awake at the moment. Figured I’d let you know while all of my siblings were talking over each other to say how glad they are that I’m awake and alive.

[Two-Face] : I’m glad to hear that

[Bat Girl] : Thank you. I wouldn’t be if you hadn’t come and got me.”

[Two-Face] : I’d say anytime but I’d rather that you didn’t get shot again anytime soon.

[Bat Girl] : I’ll do my best, dad.

Harvey stared at his phone. He knew that she was high, she had said so herself. However, this was also rather clear in the fact that she knew who he was. His name was right there in the chat log.

Suddenly all of the conversations from the last week slammed into place. They were all treating him like a second father, because for better or for worse, he kind of was. Maybe he was the divorced dad, the ex of the father they were adopted by, but he was someone who would come if they were in trouble. Someone that they cared enough about to ensure that they weren’t in trouble. Someone that they wanted to tell their fears to, someone to alleviate their stresses.

He had become a father to seven overnight because he had chucked that ring from his pocket. Only the burning hadn’t stopped. He wasn’t separating himself from Bruce. He wasn’t successfully doing anything of the sort. He was just finding that he was even more head over heels in love.

Three days without anyone else forcing him to deal with these emotions. He had started thinking that it was all some kind of fever dream, when he woke up to Damian standing over him, looking incredibly nervous. The child was jittering where he stood, barely standing in place, and honestly the hand moving in and out suggested the kid was debating whether waking him up would get him killed or not

.

Harvey took a deep breath. “Why are you here, child?”

Damian jumped back. “You’re awake.”

“And you’re in my bedroom,” Harvey rebuked immediately. “Why?”

“So, here’s the thing, I kind of need you to come with me.”

“Please tell me that one of your siblings hasn’t been acquainted with a gun and you need me to take care of the situation.”

“I do have some good news on that front. That is completely correct.”

“Fantastic.” He swung his legs off the bed to stand up. At least that took care of the worst possibility. The nerves weren’t really helping though.

“The thing is, though, father doesn’t really exactly know that I’m here or that I plan on asking for your help or that I need help.”

Harvey rubbed at the bridge of his nose. “Of course not. What do you need?”

“Do you have a white suit?” Damian blurted out.

A suit, the kid needed him in a suit. A white suit, which meant that he was trying to paint the two of them in less of a villainous light. Christ, on a cracker. “I swear to god, child, what kind of legal trouble did you get into that you can’t go to your father’s literal army of lawyers?”

Damian’s lips pull downwards.

Harvey switched directions. He doesn’t need a crying kid being brought to court for whatever the hell, he almost definitely did. That wouldn’t do anyone any good, and quite frankly, the judge would laugh them out of the court. He dug down his white suit and fit himself into the damn thing. “Do you at least know whether this is the preliminary hearing where I still have time to research what case law I would like to pull from?”

Damian’s wide eyes told him to stop with the questions. He hadn’t grown up in this country. He was probably too overwhelmed to deal with that kind of information. It didn’t matter too much. He could manage to keep the court entertained and in Damian’s favor even without prep time.

Harvey followed Damian out onto the streets. He walked behind him as they passed the downtown courthouse, which was strange. What was weirder is when he caught sight of Oracle and Bat Girl in matching wheelchairs in the building he was ushered into.

Then, he caught sight of Tim and Dick and Stephanie up at the front of the room bickering. “So not court?”

“Not exactly,” Damian hedged.

Harvey rubbed his temples. These children were giving him a bloody headache and their proper father still wasn’t even present in the room. He was somehow the one that was getting screwed over in this situation.

Dick grinned up at him. “Harvey, will you come stand up here? Like right here?” He pointed across from him a few steps from Stephanie.

Harvey shook his head as he got into position. “Does one of you want to fill me in on what is about to happen?”

“Jason,” Bruce screamed as three new people stumbled into the building. “Let go of your priest hostage.”

“No,” Jason said simply. He marched up to the front of the aisle. He kept the gun trained on the priest but a few steps away to be standing behind Harvey. He grabbed Harvey’s shoulder with his free hand.

Bruce froze. “Did he put you up to this?”

“Your youngest came to kidnap me from my bedroom under the guise a legal suit that he was scared to tell you about,” Harvey defended himself.

“What do you children want?”

“Well, we have two men who love each other and a priest, what do you think?” Tim snarked.

“No!” Both men yelled at the same time.

Harvey narrowed his eyes and nearly threw a punch. He did not need to be reminded that all of his emotions were so unsupported by the other that it was ridiculous to consider. This was stupid, and he was so not dealing with this shit.

Bruce took in a deep breath. “Listen, kids, I’ve tried to be understanding about the fact that you all want to know someone who knew me when I was little and someone who didn’t actually sell me out when they found out the amount of money they could get from that shit, but this is too far.”

Harvey let out a pitched whine of a laugh. “This… Do you understand that your bloody children have come to me one after another? Red Robin came to bail me out of trouble with Penguin just four days ago. Three days ago, I was the closest to your daughter whom was shot. Before that I had to try to talk both Jason and Stephanie into understanding that you aren’t actually an asshole who adopted them. This is too far… Everything has been too fucking far, you hear me.”

Bruce froze as he took in Harvey. “What?”

“Listen, I get that for you this is some annoyance of a childhood crush that you’ve been forced to consider while doing things, but for me this is extremely real, and I’d appreciate you not trampling all over my feelings. That goes for Bruce and you kids. Now, I’m going to walk out this door and go back to my regularly scheduled life. I will not target you and yours, and I will work on not being in love with you, Bruce.”

Jason shrugged. “I mean be my guest, free will and all that, but just for everyone to be clear on, if a wedding doesn’t happen here today, I am shooting this priest.”

“Jason,” Dick yelled.

Babs sighed. “I thought we agreed to kidnapping not full hostage situation.”

Jason threw a hand in the air as the universal sign of sure but what can you do. “I mean yeah, but I have no qualms about killing. I chose a new priest to Gotham that has a questionable history with children, so I’m not going to lose any sleep if I end up needing to bury his body later. But I’d prefer the wedding, all honesty.”

Bruce raised his eyes to the ceiling. “You aren’t going to shoot a priest.”

“Up to you to call that bluff.”

Harvey was rooted to the spot. He knew how hard it would be for Bruce to watch his child kill in front of him, and he could tell that Jason wasn’t joking. For him, this was a perfect lose-lose or win-win scenario. “Fucking hell, he’s serious.”

“No, he isn’t,” Bruce said. “His siblings would never agree to it.”

Harvey gestured wildly at the room. “Any one of them other than you could probably jump him to get that gun, do you see any of them moving?”

“I…”

“No, you don’t. And it’s not because they’d do the same thing. None of them would ever shoot a priest to extort their father into a marriage with a fucking villain, especially one who did try to kill one of them before he realized their significance, but oh not your kids. Your kids do this for fun on a bloody Monday morning. Now, did one of you idiots, get the paperwork for this to be real?”

Damian smiled. He stepped up and handed over the papers. “Yeah, that was part two of my job. Get you here and make sure we had the paperwork.”

Harvey chuckled. He dug out a pin and signed on the dotted line. No longer Harvey Dent, he’d be Harvey Wayne, and gods would the news go wild when this marriage certificate was leaked to them. The famous bachelor had married one of Gotham’s most insane.

Bruce stared. “You signed.”

“Yes. I’m not going to stand here and lie to you. There’s not a part of me that cares whether that priest lives or dies outside what you would want, so I signed the papers. What happens next is your move?”

“So much for moving on from me,” Bruce quipped.

“For the love of Christ, Bruce, I tried. I got rid of the ring.”

“By proposing,” Dick pointed out.

“No! For the love of God, that wasn’t a proposal. That was an attack on Bruce for daring to be the man that he has been to me to the point that I love him so much that I’m willing to put up with this level of bullshit.”

Deep breathes. “A proposal would have been me telling Bruce the truth of being in love with him and handing him the ring. Not chucking the ring at him and shoving in his face all the horrible things he’s managed to do to me because of the fact that I loved him.”

Bruce took the pen from Harvey’s hand and signed on the dotted line. “Harvey…”

“Fuck you, Bruce.” Harvey stared at the paperwork and the priest. “God, fucking hell, we’re going to be married. I’m going to be in love, and you’re going to be the dick who chose to not help me. Me, your friend, your ally. I deserved better.”

Jason snatched the papers before anyone else could see them. “Priest, say the vows.”

“I,,,I…”

Jason’s hand on the gun twitched. It was a controlled twitch. He could have stopped this at any moment if he needed to.

“Do you,” the priest glanced at Harvey. “Two-Face, take Batman to be your lawfully wedded husband? To care for him in sickness and in health? To stay through better and worse? To raise these children together?”

“I, Harvey Dent, do take Bruce Wayne to be my lawfully wedded husband. I vow to care for him when he is healthy and when he is sick. I vow to care for him when he’s being an idiot and drinking himself into an early grave and has been shot by another villain because he’s good at pissing people off. I vow to stick around even when things are horrible and half my body has been burned off because he didn’t get to me or even try, and if I stayed through that, I’ll stay through anything. Thick or thin, baby. I do love your children, they’re stupid, and impulsive, and the worst and best parts of you.”

Bruce blinked away tears from his eyes. “Idiot, you just told this fool our identities.”

“No one will ever believe him. It’s a conspiracy board for fuck’s sake.”

Bruce laughed. “Okay, okay. I, Bruce Wayne, take Harvey Dent as my lawfully wedded husband. I don’t have fancy vows to give you. I don’t really have much of a say in this wedding. I just want my child to stop threatening a priest and not be pissed off at me for the rest of the eternity that exists.”

Harvey scoffed. Worst vows ever, and still he was bloody grateful to receive them. He was the worst kind of whipped. He was helplessly in love with a fool and an asshole, and God, no amount of the children speaking for him would make up for what this is.

“You may kiss the groom,” the priest stammered.

Harvey darted forward before anyone could say anything. He pressed his lips against the pair that he had been thinking about for way too many years. The mask having been lifted somewhat at some point during the debates. Then, he moved away from the aisle.

“I’m going home,” he declared. “Someone help your father understand what just happened and the relationship that you’ve chosen to start with me. Someone go get this damn priest back to his church, not Jason,” he demanded as he stepped out.

For five days, he had nothing to do with any of them. He needed a break. Married to man that he loves but who didn’t love him back. This was a whole new level of allowing himself to burn, and he couldn’t bring himself to change a thing.

It was Sunday. The Sunday of the family dinner. A part of him almost didn’t want to show, but he knew that one of the kids would come snatch him up for it, if he had the nerve to stand them up. He showed up at the door and was let in by Alfred.

The butler stared him down. “If you ever hurt one of them,” he threatened.

Harvey couldn’t help but laugh. “I think that if I had someone like you, I would have turned out differently. But there’s never been someone here to keep Bruce from hurting me because he has had my heart for the better part of three decades now. And I wouldn’t hurt those children if that was the only way to save him, despite being willing to give up all parts of me for him. You don’t have to worry from me.”

He walked to the dining room. The seats were all taken except for the one across from Bruce. Jason and Stephanie were placed to either side of him. The family had clearly been divided.

He sat at the head. He nodded to the children. “I’m here, that’s what counts, right?”

“Reliably informed,” Jason said with a finality to his tone of voice.

Babs reached over and tapped Bruce’s hand.

“Oh, right. I was supposed to say this as you came in. Sorry, I’ve been lost in my head.”

Harvey waved it off. Whatever it was that was supposed to be said was going to be coerced by his children, and thus, he didn’t have much in the way of care for whatever someone thought needed to be said at this point.

Bruce swallowed. “The master suite has conjoining rooms. You’re welcome to the other one. Which is to say that you’re welcome to stay here.”

“I am?”

Bruce nodded. “The children, well, they care for you. They claim you as family and all the family is welcome here as much as some of the older children don’t stay all the time. You should be here.”

Harvey snorted. “Well given that my current base is being guarded by Jason’s men, I say that he’s in charge of moving me in.”

Jason grinned. “Well thank god because I already gave the order to load up all your stuff and pass it off to real movers to get to the right destination of here.”

Harvey threw his hands up in the air.

Dick kicked Bruce under the table.

Bruce winced. “Also, I’d like to clear the air between us.”

Harvey raised an eyebrow. This should be good.

“I’m sorry,” Bruce said. “I didn’t know that you loved me. If I had, well honestly, I probably wouldn’t have changed much because I’m horrible at emotions, but things would have been different at least. And you deserved better than what I and Commissioner Gordon did to you all those years ago.”

Harvey glanced at him trying to read him. “Yes, I did.” He fell silent and food started to be passed around. “But, it’s like I said in the vows, ain’t it? If I stayed loyal to my love for you through that I’ll be damned if I stop loving you now.”

“What about Gilda?”

“The woman who divorced me not because of my super villain tendency but because she found out that I had an engagement ring for a man in my pocket while proposing to her. Oh, yes. I’m sure that she had my undying loyalty,” he drawled.

Tim burst out laughing. “Oh my god, are you serious?”

Harvey’s lips twitched. “I think the judge bought the villain story more easily for court records, but I was given a very detailed letter explaining the real reasons she would never forgive me for my indiscretions.”

Bruce laughed next. “Oh my god. You are an idiot.”

“Probably.”

Bruce smiled over at him. “But I have missed my friend.”

“I think I can start there,” Harvey said softly. The burn was barely noticeable through the dinner when he was relaxing amongst the family. They were easy to love like this.