Chapter Text
Since I was a child
I’ve held needles in my mouth
They prod and stab my gums
But I can’t let them out
If they fall onto the floor
I may step on them instead
And I can’t hide physical pain
But I can hide it in my head
I have a needle for every moment
Your hands caressed my thighs
And held my hands still
With bloodshot, tired eyes
The needles stab my tongue
When I remember all those nights
You called me weak and useless
And maybe you were right
I never told a soul
About the sickness you spread
Because every time I tried
My brain was flashing red
My ribs feel exposed
And my basement feels congested
And my nails have grown too sharp
And I never feel well-rested
I wake up with a pit
That tries to pull me down
And I just might let it
Because it feels easier to drown
Than carry your needles
And hold them tight and steady
You took away most of me
And yet I still feel heavy