Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

After spending the best part of the summer in the country with her detestable family, she initially thought returning to Mayfair would be a return to solace. But not this year. After falling out with her dear friend Eloise, and feeling betrayed by Colin’s (very public) remarks, she felt an incredible unease about her return. Gone were the days of escaping to the Bridgerton drawing room across the square. She had to fend for herself entirely in this coming season.

At least she still had Whistledown. She felt power and freedom in her writing, and despite Eloise’s remarks, she was not going to give it up. It was not like anyone would ever discover her identity, she was a spinster in her third year out, the ton’s prying eyes were never on her (except the whispers about her appearance of course), she could continue clinging to the walls gathering the gossip and dark secrets of the ton. Not a happy life, but an independent one nonetheless.

“Good to be home.” Lady Featherington grinned, stepping out of the carriage as she observed the Featherington house bathing in the morning sun.

“Indeed Mama.”

Just another year as a spinster wallflower being ignored by the ton, what could possibly go awry?

——————

Dover was unusually warm for this time of year, it even seemed warmer than Italy.

“A good omen perhaps?” Colin thought as his boat was being moored to the port.

Colin Bridgerton had visited 17 cities this time around, a lot more than he usually explored. He felt that every time he entered a new city, he was able to become a new man each time. Charming, confident, droll or downright rude, he could morph into a new personality without any repercussions. This caught the attention of the ladies, which he initially paid no heed, but with his growing loneliness, he found himself eventually giving into. He had hardly received any correspondence from his family, let alone from his confidant Penelope, who seemed to ignore his letters entirely. He had sent a letter to Eloise checking in on Penelope’s wellbeing but was met with a blunt “ she is well” in response.

What had changed while he was away? And was Penelope really okay?

Having exposed Penelope’s cousin’s schemes before his departure, he was worried about her family’s future without a male figure to protect them. He felt a strange sense of obligation to protect Penelope after his involvement in removing the male figure from their family, feeling the need to fill the hole he left.

Upon his arrival in Mayfair, he made one thing abundantly clear: he needed to see her.

——————

The first day of her arrival was unusually quiet. Her mama seemed to stop nagging her about her reading and her sisters were preoccupied with their bumbling husbands. She spent the day settling in and re-organising her Whistledown items and earnings under the floorboards, tiding any disorder Eloise may have caused when discovering her secret.

She slumped on the settee under her window and lent on the windowsill, heaving a heavy sigh. She watched as her breath dissipated on the single pane. Her clock chimed ten o’clock.

Although she was happy she was now being left alone this season, a small part of herself hated that her mama had no hope in her prospects. Being forced to enter society a year early meant becoming a spinster sooner than usual, even though ladies her age were still seen as eligible.

She sighed again, drooping her head deeper into her hands.

* knock knock *

“Come in…” she mumbled, her hands pushing against her cheeks.

Her mother entered the room, inspecting it for any mess the servants may have made whilst unpacking their possessions. Her eyes met a sheet covering the mirror in the corner of her room.

“Good God, must I do everything around here?” She exclaimed, whipping the sheet away, folding it around her arms.

As she paced about the room, she noticed Penelope’s solemn expression. She let out a somewhat sympathetic sigh.

“Penelope, you know it is not all bad being a spinster.”

Penelope lifted her head from her hands and turned to face her mother. Lady Featherington crooked the corners of her mouth into a soft smile, lifting her hand to gently hold her daughter’s chin. She watched as her mother tilted her head in an attempt to show sympathy.

“And I take comfort in knowing that you will always be there to take care of me.”

Penelope pushed a smile, though it was very uncomfortable to hold.

“Goodnight Penelope,” she released her grasp from her chin and took a few strides towards the door, “I instructed Rae to wake you early tomorrow, a family promenade to re-enter society in time for Lady Danbury’s ball on Thursday evening. Do try and get some beauty sleep, you will need it.”

She let out a satisfied huff and closed the door.

Penelope listened until her mother’s footsteps faded away to silence. She dropped her smile and stood abruptly.

“I need to find myself a husband and get out of here” she pledged to herself as she paced about the room.

No more timid Penelope.

No more pity dances with Colin.

And most importantly, no more citrus dresses.

Tomorrow, she will be a new woman.

Chapter Text

Since being away, Colin became rather good at tying his own cravat (to impress the foreign ladies with his English attire of course) subsequently commanding his servants to let him do it. He liked his newfound independence.

As he perfected his cravat in the mirror, he became rather excited by the prospect of a morning promenade. Since returning, he began to miss the attention from strangers. He felt a validation he had never felt before, and this time, he wanted to re-enter society as a changed man. Deep down, he craved that same attention from the ton, especially from his dear friend Penelope. She was always a great listener and would always remain attentive when he would chat aimlessly about his travels. He was so very excited to share his adventures with Penelope, especially since the unreciprocated correspondence.

He straightened his lapels and waistcoat, swiftly joining his family on the promenade.

——————

Again, it was an unusually warm day in Mayfair. There was not a cloud in sight and the sun beamed down on the morning dew that sat ever so gracefully on the fallen sycamore leaves. A perfect day for a promenade.

Penelope trailed behind her mother, sisters and in-laws. After this tedious promenade with her family, Penelope planned to dart away to the modiste and rid herself of her citrus dresses: of the “old Penelope”.

She fanned herself frantically with anticipation.

She felt a bubble of excitement and a small smile grew on her face. That was until her eyes met the man she had loved since she was sixteen. She felt her heart sink as his words of last season dug into her chest…

“ I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington, not in your wildest fantasies Fife ”

She swollowed hard to try and rid herself of the growing lump in her throat.

“Pull yourself together Penelope.” She wasn’t going to let her emotions get the better of her. Not today. Although it was not easy watching the man she once loved flirting with all the eligible ladies of the ton as if he was a new person entirely. She wanted the old Colin. Kind, gentle and thoughtful. It seemed the man she fell in love with was gone, and that thought pushed through her emotional wall, causing a single tear to run down her cheek.

Her mother was ahead gushing about her daughter’s off-season betrothal amongst a group of mamas. She seized the opportunity to slip away to the modiste, it was not like they would notice her absence anyway.

——————

Colin was being showered with compliments on his new character. He was bold, gregarious and ever so charming. He never felt so loved by the ton. Even the Lords enthused over his new sturdy stature, something Colin worked ever so hard to gain. More than anything, it was resisting the sweet treats from every new place he visited. Paris’ treats were the hardest to resist.

Despite enjoying soaking up all the attention, most of all he could not wait to find Penelope to talk about all of his summer adventures.

He scanned Rotten Row for a family of redheads, which did not take much effort with the bright morning sun causing their hair to appear ablaze. He chuckled to himself as he strolled over to them, excited by the prospect of seeing Penelope.

Lady Featherington was beaming with delight, clearly showing off her new in-law Mr Dankworth, who wore an uncomfortable smile on his face.

“Lady Featherington! Mr and Mrs Dankworth! A pleasure!” Colin greeted, bowing ever so gracefully with his charming grin plastered on his face.

“Ah Mr Bridgerton! What a delight! I see you have heard of my daughter’s betrothal! Such a beautiful pairing is it not Mr Bridgerton?”

“Why of course Lady Featherington! And how is Miss Penelope Feathering-“

His voice faltered as he searched around for any sign of Penelope. His grin subsided a little. Lady Featherington whipped around to find her youngest daughter was missing.

“Oh I- uh…” she continued to look around “…she was just here Mr Bridgerton. She must have run off somewhere with Eloise… as usual.” She let out a light chuckle.

Colin tried to hide his concerned gaze by regaining his smile. Eloise decided to remain home this morning, despite his mother’s insistence. He knew Penelope was somewhere alone and that made him feel uneasy.

“Ah yes of course, I shall see her soon at the Danbury ball later this week. Lady Featherington.” He bowed.

Lady Featherington gave a light curtsy and Colin left. He was anxious of her wellbeing before, but now he had a reason to be a lot more concerned.

Chapter Text

“Miss Penelope!” Madame Delacroix joyfully called out, “How have you been?”

“Well thank you” she lied. “I see your business is prospering Madame!”

“Indeed!” She leaned in closer dropping her exaggerated French accent, “I am awaiting your first edition of the season Lady Whistledown…”

Penelope couldn’t help but smirk a little. She liked her freedom of friendship with Madame Delacroix. She could truly be her authentic self, something she wished she could have shared with Eloise if it wasn’t for her delay in telling her the truth.

“And what do I owe the pleasure?” Madame Delacroix asked as she lead Penelope into the back of her shop.

“I have finally decided to change my wardrobe Madame. I wish never to see a citrus colour ever… again…”

“ Enfin Penelope! A dour colour indeed!” She leaned in closer assessing the neckline hem of her bright yellow dress, “why the sudden change?”

“I wish to find a husband.”

“ Mon dieu! ” She exclaimed. “Well then! I better make a start on arranging the fabrics. Are there any colours that come to mind Miss Penelope?”

Penelope thought for a while.

“Well I have always liked the colour green…”

Madame Delacroix had an excited look in her eye.

“Good choice Miss Penelope. You will definitely catch the eyes of the ton in time for the Danbury ball.”

——————

Colin sat alone in his dimly lit study, assessing his scribbled thoughts in his journal. Every time he would try to focus on his writing, Penelope would take over his mind.

Why did she not greet him at the morning promenade? And why the continued silence after the night of the Featherington ball in July? Did something happen with Jack Featherington? Did he threaten her to cease contact with him because Colin exposed him? Now he made himself more worried.

He stood up and parted a small section of the curtain to gaze across the square to Penelope’s bedroom window. He could just about see that a candle was flickering in her room. At least he knew she got home safe.

I have to see her at the ball…

He extinguished the candle on his desk and went to bed.

——————

He would expect nothing less from Lady Danbury’s first ball of the season. It was a “Four Seasons” theme with the ensemble playing Vivaldi’s appropriate rendition. The chandeliers were polished to a shine resembling the stars and her staff were milling around the place with glasses of cordial and what he believed was port. She definitely had poured her heart and soul into hosting this ball.

He linked his arm with his mother, who was quick to point out the presence of the Queen. She patted his arm with a smile and released her arm, making her way over to Francesca who had recently just made her debut this season.

Colin came to the realisation that the Featheringtons had not yet arrived. Lady Featherington always liked to make an impression and that usually meant she wanted more people to witness her entrance, hence usually arriving late.

To pass the time, he made his way over to the Lords who complimented him earlier that week to engage in menial conversation.

After having the most lacklustre conversation of his life, he suddenly felt the energy in the room shift. He scanned to room to find most of the cohort facing in the direction of the entrance. He followed the ton’s collective gaze to a woman standing in a deep emerald dress, his soulless new acquaintances blocking the view of her face.

“My God, is that-“ Lord Cho whispered.

Colin stepped to the side revealing the identity of this mystery woman…

“P- Penelope?” Colin stuttered. His mouth dropped open.

The way her red curls cascaded down her shoulder to the neckline of her silk emerald dress was utterly remarkable. She was almost unrecognisable with the way she was holding herself. Her chin was held high as she observed the shocked reaction from the ton. It seemed the whispers did not bother her as she descended the steps of the ballroom.

He observed her mother looking up at her with a look of exasperation as she complained to her other daughters, seemingly about the nature of her new attire.

“Well I believe we know what is going to be in the first edition of Whistledown this season!” Snorted Lord Ambrose.

Colin grimaced. He never liked to hear men speak ill of women, especially about his friend Penelope, which he would hear all too often.

“Indeed! I am sure she will pick up on her attempt to claw herself out of spinsterhood.” Lord Cho chuckled.

Colin felt a bubble of fury begin to rise up from his chest. “I shall have you know-“

“The Queen needs to hasten along and name a diamond already so I can refine my search so I can go back to more… pleasurable pursuits” Lord Fife interrupted, cutting into the conversation with a smirk on his face.

Lord Ambrose and Lord Cho let out a hearty laugh.

Colin’s fury faltered and was replaced with discomfort. He span around to find Penelope again and observed her speaking with a group of noblemen in the middle of the ballroom. His gaze shifted to the Queen and Lady Danbury observing Penelope from the royal perch.

She never liked being the centre of attention. Maybe she was in need of a swift rescue?

“Excuse me gentlemen.” Colin bowed farewell and made a beeline for Penelope.

Chapter Text

Penelope had never felt like this before. In truth, she was terrified, but she would not dare let her facade slip after how much effort it took to pluck up this courage for this moment.

“Miss Featherington,” one of the men, Lord Roshimer, began, “you look remarkable tonight.”

“Thank you my Lord.” Penelope smiled, bowing her head slightly to show modesty and gratitude for the compliment.

Her aim was to seem desirable to men. Humble and sweet, with a touch of charm and elegance. She had spent the best part of her life observing the ton for Whistledown, this was now her moment to use all her observations to craft the most desirable woman. She wanted to marry someone who would allow her her privacy and independence, so she needed to meet as many men of the ton as possible to find the right one who would allow her that. Deep down, she desired a love match, but being a spinster in her third year out, she had lost all hope.

Before Colin’s harsh words, she had always fantasised about their marriage and future children. After all, she knew they were mere fantasies but upon hearing Colin’s (very public) remarks and laughing about never courting her, her fantasies were shot down forever. She needed to get back into reality and find a real life match. Unfortunately, she could not seem to achieve this by being herself.

“Ah Mr Bridgerton, a pleasure.” Lord Tibury greeted.

Penelope took in a sharp breath keeping her head down.

“The pleasure is all mine my Lord.” Colin bowed,

“Miss Featherington?”

Penelope exhaled then flicked her head up, her hair flipping gracefully from her shoulder to her back.

“Good evening Mr Bridgerton. Are you enjoying your evening?”

“W- well yes. Immensely,” Colin stuttered, taken aback by Penelope’s sudden formality. “Would you do me the pleasure of a dance Pen- uh… Miss Featherington?”

Under usual circumstances, when it is only them talking, she would be able to refuse a dance with him but now, under the watchful eye of the ton, she could not refuse. And Colin knew that. She knew he wanted to talk.

“Of course Mr Bridgerton.” Penelope placed her gloved hand in Colin’s palm and looked up into his eyes. Why did he have to have such remarkable eyes? She was desperately trying to get over him, yet her stomach did a flip as he gazed down at her.

“Gentlemen.” Colin tilted his head in respect.

“Gentlemen.” Penelope parroted with an elegant curtsy. Colin lead her into the centre of the ballroom towards the dance floor.

“I have broken one of my pledges already, a pity dance with Colin Bridgerton. ” She thought to herself.

——————

A rendition of Vivaldi’s Summer Allegro began playing and Colin lifted Penelope’s arms into frame. A waltz.

He could tell she was nervous from the rise and fall of her chest. Why was she forcing herself in this position if she was so clearly uncomfortable? Well it was clear to him at least, not anyone else. They seemed too enraptured by her appearance and newfound charm to notice her true feelings.

The music begun and they started their Waltz.

For the first minute or so they danced in silence, observing one another’s expressions until…

“Pen, how are you? You look… charming.”

There was a long pause as Penelope attempted to read Colin’s face. Her facade finally dropped and Colin recoiled slightly.

“Mr Bridgerton, why have you requested a dance if you do not wish to ever court me? Am I that undesirable that you feel the need to share your opinion of me to the eligible men of the ton? Do you wish me to be destitute Colin? Is that it?” Penelope exclaimed angrily, tightening her grip in Colin’s hand.

Shock washed over Colin’s face as he stumbled over his own footing and paused their dance.

“Pen… I-“

“Do not try and deny it Colin. I overheard you at Mama’s ball last season. I am trying to find a husband this season and I do not need you undoing my progress of crawling out of ruin. So forgive me if I am defensive, I do not need you bringing me down again.”

“Pen- I would never-“

“If you would please excuse me Mr Bridgerton, I require refreshment.” Penelope loosened her grip, curtsied, and left Colin standing dumbfounded in the middle of the dance floor.

As Penelope walked away, her anger was quickly replaced with tears. She choked away a short cry, drew in a sharp breath, steadied herself and marched towards another group of noblemen. She was NOT going to let Colin take this away from her.

——————

Queen Charlotte peered down at Penelope with a group of lords her majesty had personally invited to be in attendance tonight.

“Who is she?” She asked Lady Danbury.

“Ah, that is Miss Penelope Featherington. It is her third season out, but it seems she is determined to find a husband this season with her sudden change of demeanour.” She leaned in closer, “She is also close with the Bridgertons.”

“I see… her confidence intrigues me. She reminds me of you in your youth Lady Danbury,” She turned towards her “does she not?”

“Indeed your majesty.” She leant back into a confident stance, gripping her cane. “Her debut was overshadowed by her sisters. But I feel she is still indeed an eligible member of the ton, especially if her performance tonight is any indication. She shares my fervour for observing every detail of the ton. It seems she has finally got them wrapped around her fingers.”

Her majesty hummed in agreement.

“I seek to find someone surprising this season, someone Lady Whistledown would not expect me to name the season’s incomparable.” She paused for a moment. “Perhaps it does not have to be a diamond Lady Danbury. If we wish for a surprise this season, I shall name… an emerald.”

Lady Danbury gave Queen Charlotte a look as if to say if you say so . “I must say your majesty, the anxious mama’s are awaiting your declaration… have you yet decided on this emerald of the season?”

The Queen let out a satisfied sigh “It seems I have Lady Danbury. I shall announce it to the ton at the end of the last dance.”

Chapter Text

“If you would excuse me gentlemen, I require some fresh air” Penelope curtsied.

“Miss Featherington” the Lords chimed in unison.

Good god, she missed fun conversation. Conversing with the gentlemen of the ton was ever so dull. More than anything, they were talking at her rather than with her, like she was an inanimate object.

Penelope entered the gardens and took a deep breath. Despite Colin’s remarks, she begun to feel a touch of guilt after lashing out at him.

She leant her side against a pillar and drooped slightly. Her eyes glassed over from social exhaustion. Why tear things apart when she should really just start to mend things with Col-

“Penelope.”

“Colin…” Penelope mumbled, “C-Colin!”

She spun her head around, her eyes meeting his.

“Are you alright?” He questioned, “You seem utterly wearied.”

She let out a deep sigh, shifting her eyes away from his.

“You know I do not wish to speak with you.”

“Penelope, please listen to me.”

She returned her gaze, awaiting his apology, holding her vexed expression.

“I am not the man I was last season…” he began, clenching his jaw, “and I never should have been so callus with my words. I was bottle-weary and in truth,” he paused, a look of shame grew on his face, “I seeked affirmation from the gentlemen of the ton and became a man I did not want to be. I still believe I find myself becoming that man in an attempt to fit in.”

He took her gloved hands in his.

“I promise Pen, I shall not become that man again.”

Penelope knew he was genuine, and she understood him. It was utterly exhausting being someone you are not. She learned tonight that she would rather be loved as a wallflower than loved as somebody else entirely.

She let her expression ease and pushed a slight smile. “Th- Thank you Colin. I believe I also find myself-“

*fanfare*

ATTENTION! HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN HAS AN ANNOUNCEMENT!

Penelope recoiled, releasing Colin’s grip from her hands.

“We had better go back to the ballroom.”

“Indeed” Colin smiled, having faith that he had mended his cherished friendship with Penelope.

——————

“Your presence is noted, your queen is most appreciative. Allow it to now be my honour to present to you the season’s emerald.”

The ton collectively gasped in surprise. Anxious mamas clung onto their eligible daughters.

“Miss Penelope Featherington.”

The Queen smirked as a result of the ton’s collective gasp. She scanned the room for the redhead.

“Miss Featherington, please step forward.”

The crowd parted as Penelope nervously walked towards the Queen’s perch, giving a gentle curtsy.

The ensemble began playing an elegant tune as the ton gave a polite applause.

——————

All eyes were on her like daggers piercing every inch of her skin. The room was filled with judging susurrus of conversation. She had never felt so at sea.

Her tormentor Miss Cressida Cowper approached her with a skip in her step.

“Miss Featherington! How delightful!” She chimed. She leant closer and whispered in her ear “It is only an amount of time before you fly too close to the sun… watch where you are flying Icarus.” She flicked her head in amusement and stepped away.

Penelope let out an angry grunt. The forever impertinent Miss Cowper.

Her breath quickened as eligible bachelors from all around the ballroom began marching towards her.

The Queen must have noticed her becoming overcrowded.

“This evening has come to a close.” She announced, “You can thank our host Lady Danbury in the morning.”

Everyone paused to face the Queen’s perch. Lady Danbury grinned, cocking her head in an attempt to motion get out .

The ton seemed to have taken the hint and began piling out towards their carriages.

One of the Queen’s men approached Penelope and told her that her majesty required an audience. Colin watched astounded as Penelope made her way up towards the Queen.

“Your majesty” Penelope curtsied, dipping her head exceptionally low in respect.

She felt a hand tilt her head up and saw that it belonged to the Queen herself.

“You shall not let me down Miss Featherington.”

Penelope gulped, trying to hide her nervousness.

“If you continue as you are this season, you shall meet my expectation and prove to Lady Whistledown that my judgement is never awry. Do you understand Miss Featherington?”

“Of course your majesty.” Penelope obeyed, the Queen released her hand as she rose from her curtsy.

“You will do well… now go.”

She gave another light curtsy and descended the stairs towards her wide-eyed mother.

“My Penelope-“ she began.

“Please mama, may we leave?” Penelope murmured, utterly stunned.

Lady Featherington hummed in agreement as they made their way towards the Featherington carriage.

She had to write about herself in Whistledown and she needed to publish it… tonight.

——————

“I am sure our neighbours are ecstatic tonight!” Lady Bridgerton gushed, handing Mrs. Wilson her gloves.

“Whatever do you mean mama?” Questioned Hyacinth, buzzing with energy.

“Tonight Miss Penelope Featherington was named the season’s incomparable!” She exclaimed jovially.

“Why that is wonderf-“ Hyacinth began

“She what?!” Eloise butted in.

“Eloise!” Reprimanded her mother. She sighed, “Are you feeling better my dear?”

Eloise gave her mother a look of confusion “Penelope was named the diamond of the season?”

“Well I believe her majesty wishes for it to be an emerald this year, but yes! She has! She was quite the talk of the ton today with her new look! She looked beautiful did she not Colin?”

Colin flinched, snapping out of processing what had just happened. “Why yes- uh mother.”

Their mother shot both of them a puzzled expression. “What is with both of you tonight? Whatever you have, it seems to be catching!” she joked. She walked over to Eloise, bringing the back of her hand to her forehead. “Do rest my dear, I do not wish for you to feel worse.”

Colin took the opportunity to flee to his bedchamber.

He slumped on his bed, flicking off his boots and pulling at his cravat. My god he felt like a fool. Why did Penelope have to overhear his dull-witted remarks last season. He grimaced, planting his face in his hands and falling back on his bed.

That is why Penelope refrained from returning his correspondence. She must have thought him a complete dullard. He hoped their conversation was the foundation of fixing her ire. He would not want to lose his friendship with Penelope. It seemed that she was the only real friend he had, and he would do anything to gain back her trust.

——————

Pacing around her dimly lit room, she cursed under her breath.

Becoming the season’s emerald was not the plan. How could she keep secretly supplying her family with her Whistledown money if being Whistledown was now more of a risk than ever. She had to ensure her disguise was better than ever as she would most definitely get recognised in the streets of Bloomsbury if it was subpar.

She was going to risk it tonight as she did not want any suspicion to arise on the late arrival of her first edition. But in the morning, she would visit the modiste to fashion a better disguise.

She swung on her cloak and snuck out. She heard the clock chime midnight in the hall as she left.

Chapter Text

Dearest Gentle Reader,

It is difficult to imagine the beginning of the season without Lady Danbury’s illustrious opening ball, and what a start to the social season it was…

…this author finds herself reporting rather interesting and surprising news indeed. However I believe that you, dear reader, are already privy to what I am about to share. It seems that her majesty made a rather impulsive decision last night, naming the season’s precious stone Miss Penelope Featherington. It seems her majesty has grown weary of the diamond title after the events of last season and has chosen a much rarer and valuable stone, the emerald.

But do be aware, dear reader, while the emerald is rarer a stone, under pressure, it is prone to breaking. Push her too hard, and she may become brittle.

I shall have you know, dear reader, I have faith that this former citrus wallflower may be ready to bloom this season. However, a decision made with haste is not always a wise one. I will be keeping a close eye on how this new game shall play out.

Yours Truly

Lady Whistledown

The rustle in the sycamores on Grosvenor square sent a shiver down her spine. Thunderous clouds loomed in the distance, threatening to roll over the city.

She pulled her cloak over her hair, she knew it was her most recognisable quality and would surely be the most obvious giveaway.

Marching towards Oxford Street, she flagged down a hired hack. She called out in a Dublin accent, “Are you available sir?”

“Yes Miss.” the coachmen called out. “Where you off to tonight?”

“Bloomsbury Printer’s Press.” She jumped into the hack. “I will pay double for you to go as fast as you can.”

“Aye miss, will do.”

She frantically tucked her hair within her cloak and reached down to the pocket seam Madame Delacroix added for her Whistledown sheet. She unfolded the rushed edition, scanning the words over and over until her carriage halted.

The coachman tapped on the roof, “We are here miss.”

She thanked him and stepped out of the hack, handing him the fee. Her head tilted to the sky when she heard distant thunder. She grimaced at the dramatic display of dark clouds.

“Please remain here sir, I will return in a few moments.”

“Aye miss.” He replied.

She ran into the printers shop, pushing the door and closing it behind her.

“Sorry for the delay Mr Lowe. I have Whistledown’s edition to be printed tomorrow before noon.” She panted.

“Lawks! I thought you weren’t comin’ Miss Adams!”

(Miss Adams was her alias which she hid behind when delivering her scandal sheets.)

“My mistress passes on her regrets. You get to keep the surplus for your rapid service.”

Mr Lowe huffed.

“Well… anything for Lady Whistledown eh?”

Penelope chuckled. “Anything for Lady Whistle-“

* CRASH *

A loud boom of thunder rumbled over the sky and a sudden downpour rattled the single panes of the shop.

“Oh you poor love! You can wait here for a bit if you like my darlin’”

Penelope sighed. She had to get home before anyone noticed her absence, especially that her mother sometimes awoke from thunderstorms.

“Cheers Mr Lowe but I must get back.” She reluctantly made her way to the door.

“As you wish. See ya soon love!”

Penelope smiled and closed the door behind her. She stood under the narrow porch in an attempt to shield from the rain. She looked around for her hired hack. Bloody hell. He was gone.

It must be approaching one o’clock. If she walked home from here, she could make it in just before half past. Well, that was if she used the backstreets.

Was it worth the risk?

It seemed to be her only option if she wanted to go unnoticed.

——————

Colin jolted awake, his heart racing.

He had never liked storms, especially ones at night. This one was ever so dramatic, the flashes of the lightning causing theatrical shadows to dance around his room. He leant over to check the time.

“Quarter past one.” He grunted, lighting his bedside candle.

Candles always put him at ease, their flickering nature felt rather therapeutic.

He sleepily waltzed over to the window, cracked it open slightly and gazed across the drenched square.

——————

Her cloak was entirely soaked through. She flicked off the cloak from her head as she approached Duke Street. Just one more street and she had miraculously made it. Her hair always appeared brown when wet so if someone spotted her from afar, they would not bat an eye.

* SMASH *

A glass shattered in the distance behind her followed by an angry grunt.

She spun around, her heart beating out of her chest.

A drunkard was stumbling around in the street swaying from side to side. He was holding the broken neck of his bottle and dragging his feet. It was a miracle he was even upright. He teetered to a stop, flicking his head up towards Penelope.

“Oi mug!” He bellowed “Come over ‘ere!”

Penelope let out a gasp and began running away, her heart dropping to her stomach.

It became clear to her very quickly that the man was running after her.

——————

Colin flicked his head up abruptly to the sound of  hurried footfall and a man calling out. It seemed to be coming from the corner of the square near Duke Street.

Two figures appeared in view. He furrowed his brows in an attempt to better make out the commotion in the dimly lit square. It seemed to be a tall man and a young woman.

“Good God!” He cried out, suddenly standing.

The man grabbed the short woman’s cloak, accompanied by a loud yelp. He froze as he watched the man spin her around to face him, shaking her violently.

She let out a blood curdling scream sending Colin darting for the door, showing a complete disregard for his own safety.

——————

His hand pressed painfully into her shoulder like a predator latching onto scarce prey. The sharp bottle neck was in his other hand, inches away from her bodice. He stooped over her, he must have been at least double her height.

“You’re a sweet little thing aren’t ya?” He boomed, leaning in closer to observe her face.

“P- Please, I will give you money! Anything!” She cried, desperately trying to pull away from him.

He moved his grip to her waist and shook her about like a doll.

“You live here huh? Pretty little rich girl in her big house eh?” He cocked his head to the side, stumbling closer.

She forcefully pushed against his chest, finally releasing his grip. He lunged at her with great force in retaliation, inadvertently piercing her side with the sharp glass.

She let out a loud scream causing him to turn on his heel and run into the distance.

She fell backwards against a harsh brick wall, hyperventilating and gripping her side. Her pounding heart rose to her throat, head spinning out of control.

Her eyelids fluttered as the world went black and silent.

Chapter Text

Colin forced the front door open, ignoring the sleepy and confused calls from his mother at the top of the stairs.

His running faltered to a standstill as he whipped his head around desperately, in an attempt to find the woman in the downpour.

His mother’s screams of childbirth was branded into his brain and would reoccur in his nightmares. Hyacinth’s birth was a miracle but left the older Bridgerton siblings completely traumatised.

This scream was the scream of his nightmares.

Suddenly, his eyes met a prone figure across the square. With adrenaline flowing through his veins, he bolted across the street.

“Miss!” Colin called out, “MISS! Are you alright?!” His footfall echoing in the square.

He leant down towards her, his eyes skimming over her motionless body. Her drenched hair obscured her face.

“Miss!” He cried out again, reaching to shake her.

The woman began to stir, slowly coming to. His eyes met an injury on her abdomen.

“Good god! You’re injured! I shall send for the doctor immediately.” He stood up abruptly.

“No…” she mumbled. “I… I am fine. I just need to get home.” She shifted in an attempt to stand. He quickly brought his hands to her shoulders.

“Miss, you are injured. Please just get seen to and then we can send you home. The Bridgerton doctor is very good.” He gave a sympathetic smile and leant down further in an attempt to see her face. She immediately dipped her chin, pulling more hair over cheek.

“Please sir, I want to go home.” Her voice quivered.

Colin let go. He did not want to make her feel uncomfortable, especially with her terrifying encounter with another man just moments prior.

“Very well. But you will have that seen to, and you will alert the constable, yes?”

She nodded beginning to stand up. Colin held her elbow, helping her rise.

“Of course… thank you.”

She turned on her heel and stumbled back to Duke Street. He watched as she disappeared from sight.

“ Good god, I hope she will be alright. ” He thought as he began walking back to the Bridgerton house.

Colin always had a hero complex, ever since he was a young boy. He always felt such pride when he helped someone in need, always putting others safety first. He felt somewhat defeated letting her go, knowing she will be alone again in the dangerous streets of London. However, he could tell she was terrified and just wanted to leave, he felt it was best in this circumstance to let her go. He convinced himself he did the right thing as he approached the door to his home.

“Colin! What happened?” His mother called out, turning from a conversation with Mrs Wilson.

Colin wiped the rain from his face, flipping his hair backwards. “There was a young lady who was attacked, probably by a hellish drunkard. I invited her in to get assessed by the doctor but she was adamant to go home.” He explained, accepting a towel from Mrs Wilson. He began drying himself.

“Good heavens! That poor girl! It was very good of you to rush out but you have to be careful my dear, running into a dangerous situation like that!”

Colin sighed, “Yes of course mother, but you know I can never just-“

“Yes I know my dear…” she interrupted, wrapping another towel around his back. “…you have always liked to be the hero.”

He let out a soft chuckle.

She started walking him up to his bedchamber. As they arrived outside his door, she turned to him.

“Colin,” She put her hand to his chin, “I do not want you to put yourself in harm’s way. I know you are always aware of what others need, always trying to be helpful, but you rarely put yourself first.” She dropped her hand and took the towel from his hand. “I am very proud of your empathy my dear,”

Colin slipped his eyes from hers.

“… but you must not let it overshadow your own worth.”

He nodded softly. “Goodnight mother.”

“Goodnight my dear.” She smiled, kissing him softly on the cheek.

He watched as she returned to her bedchamber.

——————

Penelope began to catch her breath as she leant against a wall in Duke Street. As she snapped back into focus, a stinging pain began searing from her side. She looked down to a small gash in her side. Instinctively, she pressed it, wincing from her touch. Of course it was her luck to get injured. Of all the times in delivering a Whistledown, she had never once got into a situation quite like that. Yes, she had men calling after her and some beggars approaching her, but nothing ever violent.

Despite all that, she was also incredibly lucky.

Colin must not had recognised her with her cloak and wet hair. She dreaded to think of the consequences if he did.

But why him? Why did he have to rush out to her?

Well of course he did.

It seemed that the Colin she thought was gone had actually never left. The kind, empathetic and caring man, always putting others first.

She looked up at the sky, taking a deep breath. The storm looked as if it was beginning to subside; she took the opportunity to return back home through the side gate before the streets fell silent again.

——————

Penelope threw her soaked cloak on the floor next to her mirror, frantically untying her bodice to assess her injury. She bit her lip in anticipation, to suppress any exclamation she may express when viewing her wound.

She let her bodice fall, revealing a bloody gash just below her bottom rib. She cursed under her breath.

It was small but moderately deep, however, she convinced herself it was worse than it looked.

She took one of the clean cloths she normally uses to wipe ink stains and carefully wiped around the wound, fashioning a bandage to wear underneath her nightgown.

She planned to dispose of her cloak and bodice on her next visit to the streets of Bloomsbury. No-one could know about her injury, even Genevieve Delacroix, but most importantly Colin. He would assuredly find out it was her in the streets and would not stop until he uncovered the truth.

She carefully laid down on her bed, reeling from the events of recent.

The Emerald of the Season.

Confronting Colin.

Printing a Whistledown about herself and now getting attacked in Grosvenor Square with Colin as a witness.

Her solution? Find a husband.

Chapter Text

The sun streamed through Colin’s curtains he left open from last night. He did not sleep a wink.

Although he had convinced himself he did the right thing, he could not shake the fact he allowed an injured young woman to wonder back into the streets of London. He hoped she did as he advised but he would never know, and that played on his mind all night.

* knock knock *

“Colin? Your brother and sister-in-law have arrived! Come and greet them in the drawing room when you are ready!” His mother called from behind the door.

“Ah! I will be there promptly.”

She groaned as he sat up from his bed, the harsh morning sunlight hitting his face.

Another unusually warm day for this time of year.

As he walked down the stairs, he saw Eloise leave her bedchamber.

“Eloise! How are you feeling? Have you recovered?”

Eloise looked up with a questioning hum.

“…oh! Uh- yes.”

“Well that is good to hear! I am sure Penelope would be pleased to see you out and about again! With all that went on in your absence, I am sure she is looking forward to seeing you. It seems she may need more support than usual.”

Eloise seemed deflated.

“Penelope and I have… grown apart. I do not believe she needs me, especially that she was named the season’s emerald . I am sure she has a new circle of friends with her newfound popularity.”

Colin recoiled in surprise, “You grew apart? How could that happen? You were inseparab-“

“Well times have changed, have they not?” She interrupted, quickly descending the stairs and out the door with her maid.

It seemed a lot has changed in his absence, and it seems, not all for the better.

——————

At breakfast, while her mother was occupied with her daughter’s morning visit, Penelope took her opportunity to take her leave to the modiste. She needed a new Whistledown cloak ready in time for her next edition. Just before entering the modiste, in a nearby chemist, she bought some bandages and carbolic acid as she would not want to risk infection.

Her wound was especially painful today but she knew she just had to ignore it and focus on her priorities.

“Ah Penelope! It is good to see you!” Madame Delacroix chimed, “What can I do for you today? Have you come to collect your dress early?”

“Good morning Madame! If you have it ready, that would be splendid, thank you.”

Penelope leaned in with a sharp inhale at her stinging pain, “I have another request Madame.”

Madame Delacroix gave her a sly smile, dropping her accent, “Of course, follow me.” She lead her to the back of the shop.

“So my Whistledown cloak got quite damaged as I was exiting the carriage and thought it a good opportunity to have a new cloak made that hides my identity a little more… given the unforeseen circumstance.”

“Why of course Miss Penelope. I will have that made for you as quick as I can.” She turned to get Penelope’s new dress, “How do you feel about becoming the season’s emerald? Is it as daunting as it sounds?”

Penelope chuckled, “Indeed. But I plan to use it to my advantage and find myself a husband. I feel it will finally give me the freedom to embrace Whistledown. It shall give me my independence.”

Madame Delacroix handed Penelope her new dress. “And I’m sure that all the eligible gentlemen will flock over to you, especially in this dress.” She winked.

Penelope laughed, wincing at how it put pressure on her wound, “Thank you Madame. I will see you soon.”

“Au revoir Miss Penelope! I will have your garment ready in 3 days.”

As Penelope exited the shop, the Cowper women entered.

“Penelope!” Cressida said in surprise.

“Cressida.” Penelope answered, keeping her head down, reaching for the door.

“Where is your chaperone Miss Featherington?” Questioned Lady Cowper.

Penelope looked up at her in confusion.

“Uh- she is right ahead, I was just about to catch up with her.”

Lady Cowper sighed in disbelief, “Well go along then!” She commanded.

Penelope saw Cressida attempt to stifle a laugh as she ran towards her carriage.

Of course she did not have a chaperone. Her mother did not care enough to notice her without one. She thought it saved the involvement of more people knowing of Whistledown so just took the risk.

As Penelope’s carriage turned onto Grosvenor Square, she saw the Bridgertons congregating outside their home, embracing Anthony and Kate on their arrival. She watched as Colin gave his brother one of his famous beaming smiles that could melt even the coldest of hearts. If she wanted to find herself a husband, she had to get over him first, and she decided that today was that day.

As she arrived to her bedchamber, she immediately went to inspect her wound. She grimaced as she removed her bandage, unveiling her inflamed injury. She poured a generous amount of carbolic acid on some cotton and reluctantly hovered it over her wound. Holding her breath and pressing her hand to her mouth, she pressed the alcohol soaked cotton to her side.

Pain immediately shot through her body as she stumbled backwards, slamming to the floor. She squeezed her eyes shut, pressing harder to her mouth in an attempt to suppress her exclamation.

* KNOCK KNOCK*

“Miss is everything alright?!” Rae called out behind the door.

Penelope stood abruptly with a sharp intake of breath. “Yes! Yes absolutely fine!” She winced, “I uh- just slipped! I am fine!”

“Very well miss! Let me know if you need any help.”

“Of course! Thank you!”

Penelope let out a deep exhale as she heard Rae’s footsteps diminish. She bandaged her wound again and returned her bodice, wincing at every tightening of the lace. She was going to have to make an impression tonight at the Cowper ball, especially in the Queen’s attendance.

——————

This was the first ever Cowper ball, and one could tell that they wished to make it one to remember. The garden was illuminated with strings of lights cascading from tall trees and around garden structures. There was an eight-piece ensemble on an ornate platform, beautifully decorated with an array of autumn flowers. The evening sun kissed the horizon as the first guests arrived.

“Well this is a surprise!” Chirped Lady Bridgerton.

“Certainly!” Chimed Anthony, clearly excited to be back attending balls with his new wife.

“A captivating sight is it not Lord Bridgerton?” Gloated Lady Cowper as she made her way towards the Bridgertons.

“Lady Cowper, Miss Cowper.” Anthony greeted bowing his head slightly, his family following suit, “A beautiful soirée indeed, I am looking forward to dancing with my beautiful wife” he turned to Kate who gave him a soft smile.

“Of course Lord Bridgerton! I hope you enjoy your evening!” Beamed Lady Cowper as she dragged her daughter to the Featheringtons arriving to her ball.

Colin watched as Penelope greeted them, clearly in discomfort. He knew how horrible the Cowpers were to her, ever since she was little. It seemed Cressida enjoyed picking Penelope apart because she never fought back. He knew she would most likely take her opportunity tonight, perhaps in jealousy of her emerald status. It looked like she needed a swift rescue.

“I will be back.” Colin patted his brother on the shoulder as he made his way towards Penelope.

He saw Penelope meet his eye and attempt to excuse herself from the conversation, however her mother gripped tighter on her arm pulling her back. It seemed that her mother was extra vigilant tonight with the sudden attention Penelope was receiving.

Colin watched as her mother dragged her towards a group of eligible men, encouraging them to sign her dance card. Her mother released her grip and left her alone, surrounded by a large crowd.

It was strange watching Penelope be the centre of attention, especially knowing that she was incredibly uncomfortable with it. She looked awfully pale and did not look well enough to be dancing so much. He made a vow to himself that he would protect her so he marched towards the crowd to check on her.

——————

Penelope held out her wrist as eligible men filled out her dance card one by one.

“You are captivating tonight Miss Featherington.” Flattered Lord Ashbrooke.

“Thank you my Lord.” She blushed, dipping her chin.

“I believe you are my first dance of the night, shall we?” He held out his gloved hand and wore a sympathetic smile. It seemed he noticed her discomfort and saw the opportunity to bring her away from the crowd. The dance was not for at least another quarter hour so he brought her to the lemonade table.

Lord Ashbrooke was a fine young gentleman from a very wealthy family in Belgravia. He was one of the best dancers of the ton, women would visibly rejoice when he signed their dance card.

He handed her a glass of lemonade and crooked his head at something behind her.

“It seems Mr Bridgerton is jealous.”

Penelope chocked on her drink, turning around to see Colin staring at her.

“Well, it seems he missed his opportunity to get on your dance card!” He chuckled, sipping his drink.

Penelope laughed nervously, dipping her chin.

“So,” He swallowed, placing his glass down on a silver tray, “Emerald of the Season! What a delight!”

“It is rather bothersome if I am honest…” Penelope muttered, flicking her head up in surprise of her own remark. “Apologies. I should not have said that.”

Lord Ashbrooke laughed. “No it is quite alright! I appreciate your honesty. To be honest, I recognised your discomfort and thought to give you an opportunity to steady yourself. You do not have to converse with me if you need a moment.”

Penelope gave him a soft smile. “That is very kind my Lord, thank you. I suppose I am just feeling overwhelmed, that is all.”

“Of course. If it will make you feel better, would you like to take a turn around the gardens with me?”

“That would be splendid my Lord.”

She turned to see where Colin stood, finding he was still there watching her. He seemed to have his eyes fixed rather sharply on Lord Ashbrooke, maybe they had a past that she did not know about…

Lord Ashbrooke linked his arm with Penelope’s as he guided her around the dance floor, admiring the decorations. Penelope felt the ton’s eyes on her.

“It seems that people are gossiping about us. Should we stop?” He whispered.

Penelope watched as members of the ton subtly pointed at her and whispered amongst one another. Cressida Cowper wore a face of disgust. She would usually want to hide away when watched but this was her chance to secure an eligible match and get herself off the shelf.

“No. I rather enjoy walking with you.”

He gave her a sweet smile.

“I rather enjoy walking with you too.”

——————

Anyone but him.

Colin met Henry Ashbrooke in the Mondrich club about a year ago. Ashbrooke was a heavy drinker and got drunk very early on in the night. For reasons unknown, he got very aggressive with Mondrich and started wrecking the place. Colin and other men attempted to calm the situation but their efforts were fruitless. That was when Ashbrooke lashed out at Mondrich, throwing a glass at him, grazing his neck. The Bow Street Runners were alerted and diffused the situation. Ashbrooke was consequently banned from the club.

Colin knew this man had the potential to get violent but it was so well hidden behind his charm, no-one knew of it. He had to get Penelope away from him.

He watched as he guided her to the dance floor to dance the quadrille. He would take his opportunity when they parted after the dance.

Half-way through the dance, he noticed Penelope looking very pale, she was not smiling anymore and started to stumble as she was span around. If he was any shred of a gentleman, he would give her a moment to rest.

Maybe the stress of it all got to her?

Penelope’s eyes met Colin’s from the edge of the dance floor and she gave him a very worried expression.

Good god, did he say something to her to make her feel this way?

She stood still, he could see her breathing heavily from the dramatic rise and fall of her chest. Dancers span around her, partially blocking his view of her. He started walking towards her and spotted Ashbrooke lean down to her, holding her elbow.

He watched in horror as her eyes rolled back into her head, slowly falling back into Ashbrooke’s arms. The dancers around her gasped as she fell to the floor. His heart sank and his eyes widened.

“Pen!”

Chapter Text

Colin pushed past the crowd making his way towards Penelope.

“Let me come through!” He demanded to a group of people blocking his way.

He knelt down to Ashbrooke holding Penelope, who had a great look of concern on his face.

“Fetch for the doctor!” Shouted Ashbrooke. He stared at the curious crowd, “NOW!” He commanded. Some members of the crowd dashed towards some staff.

“Go fetch her mother, I will stay with her.” Demanded Colin.

“I have got her, do not worry Mr Bridgerton. You go and get her mother. I shall stay with her.”

“Respectfully Lord Ashbrooke, she has known me since we were children, she would find more comfort being with me. Now please, let me.”

Colin shot him a fierce stare causing Ashbrooke to recoil slightly.

“If you believe that is best Mr Bridgerton.”

He lifted her unconscious body from his knees and let Colin take hold of her.

He brushed her red curls from her face and gently placed the back of his hand to her forehead. She was burning up.

“Are you with me Pen?” He placed two fingers in the crook of her neck, feeling for a pulse: it was very erratic.

He began to panic. What if she was really unwell?

“Penelope!” Colin heard a cry from the crowd as his sister emerged.

“Colin what happened?” Eloise frantically assessed her former friend, “Let her breathe!” She shouted to the crowd, causing them to take a step back.

Colin lifted his hand to Penelope’s cheek, her head rolled slightly on his knee.

“Answer me!!” She yelled.

“I- I do not know.” Colin stuttered, astounded at the sight of her lifeless form.

“The doctor will be here within the hour.” Said someone from the growing crowd.

Colin flicked his head up. “That will not do. I shall bring her home, the Bridgerton doctor will be quicker!”

With a rush of adrenaline, he picked her up and ran towards his carriage, the crowd parting as he ran.

As he approached the carriage, he saw Ashbrooke and Lady Featherington.

“Good god, what are you doing?!” Boomed Ashbrooke.

“I am bringing her to the Bridgerton doctor, he will undoubtedly have her seen to immediately.”

“Stop dawdling and go!” Shouted Lady Featherington, “I will be there promptly.”

Colin lifted Penelope into the Bridgerton carriage and laid her down on the bench opposite him.

“Go!” He commanded the footman.

“Pen? Are you with me?” He cried, kneeling down to further inspect her.

Beads of sweat started to form on her head, causing her freshly styled hair to stick to her forehead. He frantically pulled off his cravat and dabbed at her sweat. Her face began to wince.

“Can you hear me Pen?!” He exclaimed, “Are you in pain?”

He leant towards the window, “Can you go any faster?!” His breath quickened as she was shifting in and out of consciousness.

As they arrived at Bridgerton house, Colin lifted her unconscious body into Bridgerton house, immediately alerting the staff to fetch the doctor.

Colin laid her down on the chaise in the downstairs drawing room, lighting the candles in the room.

“Colin?!” Called Lady Bridgerton from the hall, “Where is she?”

“In here!” Shouted Colin, rushing to the door to let her in.

Eloise, Anthony and Kate were also at the door.

“Good god Colin, are you alright?!” Anthony placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm his panicked breath, “She will be well, I am sure of it.”

Colin attempted to calm his breath with a shuddering exhale. He looked up at his brother with a look of great concern.

“I do not- I- I do not know what happened. She- she just collapsed!” Stuttered Colin, holding back a cry.

“Colin, I think you should come with me.” Anthony suggested, guiding his back to follow him out the door.

Colin stood frozen on the ground, his eyes fixed on Penelope, watching his mother use a cloth to wipe her forehead and Eloise rushing to her side.

“The doctor is here ma’am!” Mrs Wilson called out as the doctor entered the room. “I shall fetch a damp towel.”

“Colin?” Anthony called out, giving a look to his wife as a request of assistance.

“Come on Colin, it is best for you to step away for a minute. She is in good hands.” Kate expressed calmly, breaking Colin away from his frozen stance and out the door.

Hyacinth and Gregory descended the stairs towards the commotion, causing Anthony to break away to make sure they did not interfere.

Kate guided Colin to the garden for some fresh air. As they made their way to the garden bench, Colin fell to his knees on the grass and grasped at his chest, gulping in air. Kate knelt down to him, rubbing her hand on his back.

“Colin, all will be well. She is in very good hands. She may have just overworked herself tonight. Do not fret.”

“No you did not see, she was in pain! Something is seriously wrong with her!” Colin cried, trying to steady his breath, “I do not- I do not want to lose her!”

Kate furrowed her brows and gave a sympathetic sigh.

Colin had never thought of losing Penelope like that before and it killed him to see her in that way.

“Kate!” Anthony called from across the garden, “I require a moment!”

“I will be one minute.” Kate whispered, quickly making her way to Anthony.

“Kate, Penelope is injured, she is suffering from a suspected infection of a wound. However, the doctor is confident that she will pull through with rest. She shall remain here for a few nights.”

“Has her mother been informed?” She questioned.

“Yes, however I advised they best to leave out the detail of her injury as it seems Penelope was hiding it from her. I will leave it up to her to make that decision when she awakes.”

“I agree, I also think it best to keep it from Colin too. He is very panicked about her state and would not want to worsen his concerns.”

“Indeed. I will ensure he gets some rest too.”

——————

As Penelope’s eyes fluttered open, she saw Kate and Lady Bridgerton sitting in the corner of the room. She was in an unfamiliar bedroom but it bore the symbols and colours of Bridgerton house so she could deduce she was in one of the guest bedchambers. She stared out the window, watching white puffy clouds float across the blue sky and that was when it hit her - the stinging pain that seared when she was dancing, seeing Colin watch her panicked expression. She must have collapsed then, probably why she was in Bridgerton house. She sat up, trying to make sense of it all.

“Oh! You’re awake!” Called out Lady Bridgerton, as she signalled the maid to alert the doctor.

Kate rushed over to her side and held her hand.

“Are you in pain?” she asked, rubbing her thumb on Penelope’s palm. She must have noticed Penelope’s disorientated expression.

“I- no. What happened?”

“It seems you had quite a fever from your wound. How did you get such an injury?”

Penelope instinctively reached for her bandages. She was in a thin cotton nightdress that was quite sheer and could see the bandages had been changed.

“Oh I-“

“The doctor is here ma’am.” Announced Mrs Wilson. As the doctor entered, Kate released her grasp and gave him space to examine her.

“Ah it seems you have recovered quite nicely. But I believe it best that you rest here for a couple of days to ensure you do not aggravate your wound further. We do not wish for another bout of infection.” He stood, grasping his briefcase of tools.

She did not want to face Colin knowing that he may find out that the woman he ran to in the storm was her. She sat up abruptly.

“No! I mean… I would rather go home. I live across the square and I do not wish to burden the Bridgertons any more than I already have.”

“Nonsense!” Chimed in Lady Bridgerton, “You have never or will ever be a burden on this family!”

“I do not think it wise to move across the square in your condition. You shall rest here until I deem you well enough to return home.” He turned to Lady Bridgerton, “I will return later this evening.”

“Lady Bridgerton?” Penelope asked.

“Yes my dear?” She answered, kneeling down next to Penelope.

“How many people know of my injury?”

Violet recoiled slightly at the peculiar question.

“Uh well besides me, I believe it is just Kate and Anthony.”

“Ah good, I do not wish to worry any others unnecessarily. It is just an injury when I slipped off my carriage. I did not tell mother as I did not wish to worry her. I am so sorry Lady Bridgerton about all this.”

“My dear, it is no problem! I am just glad you are feeling better, that is all.” Violet gave a soft smile.

“Thank you Lady Bridgerton.”

“We shall let you rest.” Kate tilted her head and smiled, exiting the room with her mother-in-law.

——————

Colin awoke with a start. He could not believe he actually slept after the events of last night.

He jumped out of bed and stumbled down the hallway, pressing his hand to the wall every few steps to steady himself.

“Where is she?” He suddenly asked a staff member. She pointed to a door at the end of the hall with a confused expression.

He ran over and pushed the door open.

“Pen? Pen! Are you alright?” He cried, stumbling to her side. He caught a glimpse of her gripping her side.

“Colin! I am well!” She blurted out in shock.

“What is that?” He furrowed his brows in an attempt to inspect her bandage.

“Nothing!” She cried, pulling the duvet to cover her side.

“No, you are injured! How did this hap-“ His face suddenly shifted from concern to shock.

“It was you!” He yelled, his eyes widening.

She started to panic, “Colin, please…”

He started pacing around the room, “Why did you not tell me!! I could have helped you!!” He suddenly stopped pacing and turned to Penelope, his expression turned to horror, “Who did this to you?!”

“Colin.”

“Why were you out at night?! And in a storm?!”

“Colin please!”

He stepped towards her, “Why would you possibly be out at that hour?!” He yelled.

* KNOCK KNOCK*

The door opened, causing both Penelope and Colin to suddenly turn.

“A caller is here for Miss Penelope if she wishes to invite him in.” Announced a staff member. “A Lord Ashbrooke.”

Colin turned to face Penelope again, frantically blinking to try and make sense of it all.

Penelope drew in a deep breath.

“Show him in.”

Chapter Text

“Pen, you cannot-“

“Lord Ashbrooke is here” announced a servant.

Ashbrooke entered along with a maid. He was holding a beautiful bunch of bright yellow Chrysanthemums.

His eyes met Colin’s.

“Mr Bridgerton, if you please…”

Colin stared at him for a short moment. “Of course.”

Penelope watched as Colin reluctantly exited, Ashbrooke’s eyes followed him until he disappeared around the door.

He turned to face her and took a step forward, keeping a polite distance between them.

“Miss Featherington, it is good to see you awake. I have to admit I was very worried about you so I had to see you. I apologise if this seems improper.”

“No, I appreciate your presence. It is very kind of you. It seemed to just be a sudden fever, I am well.”

Ashbrooke smiled, “I am glad to hear that.” He handed the maid the flowers, “I also came here to ask you something.”

Penelope sat up. “Of course my Lord.”

“Would you care to join me for a promenade?” He paused then flicked his head up suddenly, “‘When you are able of course.”

“That would be my great pleasure my Lord.”

Ashbrooke attempted to suppress a grin.

“Delightful. I shall look out for you one morning.”

He bowed his head in respect, “Miss Featherington.”

Penelope watched as Lord Ashbrooke left.

She let out a deep sigh of relief. It seemed that she had finally got her opportunity to get herself off the shelf and onto the marriage mart.

——————

“Ashbrooke!” Colin called out as he made his way towards the door.

“Mr Bridgerton, I was just on my way out.”

Colin let out a sharp exhale, “Why her?”

“Why her?” Lord Ashbrooke parroted. “Do you mean to say why am I courting her?”

“Indeed. Why are you courting her?”

“Why any gentleman courts a woman: to find a wife. If you are done here, I shall take my leave.” He turned to face the door again.

Colin reached out as if to pull him back, “No! I mean why Penelope? You hardly know her.”

He turned around in confusion, “And you do?”

“As a matter of fact I do.”

“I do not understand Mr Bridgerton, you made no effort to court her this season and even announced that you would never wish to. Do you wish that I did not?”

“No I do not- I-“

“She is the catch of the season, and you do not expect a gentleman to court her? Or is it that you yourself wish to court her?”

Colin paused. He had never thought of Penelope as anything more than a friend, but now he found himself questioning this.

Why did he feel so uncomfortable when seeing her surrounded by suitors and even more so when she was being courted. He initially thought it was due to Lord Ashbrooke himself, but it hit him that it was because it was Penelope.

He had confused love with friendship.

Lord Ashbrooke straightened his lapels, “I see. I apologise Mr Bridgerton, but I will not simply give up on courting Miss Featherington because you are too afraid to face your own feelings. I sincerely hope you will be able to move on from this as she has clearly taken an interest in me.”

Colin clenched his jaw and swallowed hard.

“Goodbye Mr Bridgerton.”

——————

*knock knock*

Her mother entered the room. She saw Penelope out of bed arranging the chrysanthemums in a vase.

“Should you not be resting?” She asked, causing Penelope to spin around.

“Mama!” She crossed her arms to hide any sign of her bandages.

Her mother stepped closer, inspecting the bunch of flowers, “How lovely of the Bridgertons to give you flowers!”

Penelope smirked a little, “They are actually from Lord Ashbrooke. It seems he has taken an interest in me.”

“Oh Penelope! The Queen’s gift has been fruitful indeed!” She shifted to a more serious tone, “You must not lose sight of your goal here Penelope. You must sway him to proposal and be the woman he wants to marry.”

Penelope’s smile faltered, which her mother noticed.

“Oh do not tell me you are waiting for a love match. Love is make-believe! You must not let your fantasies overshadow reality.”

“Of course Mama. I will join him on a promenade as soon as I have recovered.”

“I will be there for when you do, so rest up and get yourself better.” Lady Featherington made her way towards the door and smiled, “You have done very well Penelope. Just keep your eyes towards your goal.”

Penelope carefully returned to her bed, slowly lowering herself on the pillow.

*knock knock*

“Yes Mama?”

“Penelope. I need to speak with you.” Colin entered the room and sat on the end of the bed.

Penelope pushed herself up and leant on the headboard.

“Ashbrooke may seem charming and kind… but he has the ability to get aggressive and I do not ever want you to ever be at the behest of him.”

Penelope rubbed her forehead and sighed, “I appreciate your concern, but I can take care of myself.”

“Well it does not look like it!” He raised his voice, gesturing to her state. “And you still have not shared with me your reasoning of being out so late and alone! You could have died Penelope!”

“Please! You must calm down! I am well! It was just a standalone event, it has never happed to me before, and it will not happen again!”

Colin stood abruptly, “You mean you have done this before?!” He pressed his hands through his hair, “Why in gods name would a distinguished young lady need to venture into the night?” He paused and his eyes widened, “Are you being blackmailed? So help me god-“

“No!” She interrupted. She pressed her hands to her face and exhaled. “I have an occupation, I need to provide for my family and it sometimes keeps me out later than I hope to be.” She dropped her hands, “That is all!”

Colin’s face suddenly dropped to a state of complete horror.

“W- what?” He stuttered, “Pen you cannot do that to yourself.”

“Whatever do you mean? I have to look after my family, and this is the only way I can!”

”Look after your family?”

He huffed, sat back on the bed and began with a very serious tone, “Pen, listen to me, there is another way. You must not sacrifice your body like that. Hell, I will provide for your family if it means you stop all this!”

“What? Sacrifice my body? Colin, what are you talking about?”

Colin’s face shifted to confusion.

“What are you talking about?”

Penelope sat up slightly and looked him in the eye.

“I am Whistledown.”

——————

Colin had never felt so many thoughts rush into his head at once. He must have stayed silent for at least a minute, just processing all his feelings.

“Colin?”

“You… are Lady Whistledown?” Spoke Colin in a hushed tone.

“Colin I am so so sorry-”

“But- Marina… you ruined her!” He yelled.

“I did that to protect you!”

“And Eloise…” his face showed a sudden realisation, “that is why she has been avoiding you! Penelope how could you write such things?!”

“I had to!” She cried, “The Queen had threatened her thinking SHE was Whistledown! I had no other solution!” Her eyes glassed over, her voice stifling a cry as she spoke, “Believe me! If I could change the past I would!”

Colin’s furious demeanour suddenly dropped as he realised he had made her cry. He felt a knot of sadness in his stomach. She must have been so alone to begin writing a column such as this. A loneliness he could not even begin to fathom.

“You did all this to provide for your family… why?” He asked sympathetically.

Penelope sniffed, “Well it did not start out that way. My late uncle saw my potential in my writing and provided me a pseudonym and helped publish my first edition. It took off from there completely unexpectedly, but soon after, he passed away. It was then left up to me to continue it on my own. I had planned to give it up after writing about Eloise but then Jack Featherington left with all our money. I decided to devise a lie about an “Aunt Petunia” who had left everything to us in her will so I could secure Prudence’s dowry and provide for our family. You can see why I cannot give it up, even if I wanted to.”

Colin was completely dumbfounded.

He felt a stab of guilt in his gut knowing he was the reason Jack Featherington left. He never knew he had left with the entirety of their fortune. Colin now believed it was himself that put Penelope in this position. He had failed to protect her, and in fact, had done the complete opposite.

“So that is why I must find myself a husband. With the extra support, I can arrange a safer way of delivering my Whistledown sheets and finally have my independence. I shall be free.”

Colin shifted closer to her, he watched as she assessed his face, her vision flicking rapidly about his eyes.

“Colin, what are you…”

He felt his heart rate quicken, his eyes uncontrollably dropping to her lips. She had never looked so remarkably beautiful.

How had he never seen her in this way before?

Why hadn’t anyone seen her in this way before?

She began breathing heavily and appeared downright flushed, her cheeks bright crimson.

Colin returned his gaze to her eyes and steadied his breath. He instinctively reached out to tuck a curl behind her ear.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

Chapter Text

Penelope’s heart rose to her throat. Colin immediately drew back his hand and flicked his head towards the door.

“The doctor is here to see you Miss.” Rae called out from behind the door.

“Ah- um- just one minute!” She turned to Colin with a look as if to say what shall we do.

Colin gestured reassuringly. He slowly and very quietly made his way towards a connecting door to another bedchamber. He clenched his jaw and assessed Penelope once more before disappearing behind the door.

Penelope let out a deep sigh of relief and tried to steady her breath. “Come in!”

The doctor assessed her once more and stood assertively. “It seems you are recovering exceptionally. I believe you are well enough to return home.”

Penelope’s face lit up.

“But do take it easy, no sudden moves.”

“Of course, thank you very much Doctor.”

——————

Colin sat at his writing desk, tapping the leather cover of a book that lay on the surface. His other hand was stirring, his fingers nervously pressing into his palm.

His sudden realisation of his feelings for Penelope was clearly eating away at him as well as the guilt for putting her in such a situation.

She was completely, soul-stirringly beautiful. Her flushed face remained imprinted in his mind and he hated the thought of her being gazed upon by another undeserving man.

The door flung open.

“Ah there you are! I was looking for you!” His mother called out, causing Colin to sit up with a start.

“Mother!”

“Are you quite alright?”

“Lost in thought that is all.” Colin replied with a charming smile.

His mother walked over to the mirror and secured an earring to her ear.

“I came to say that your brother is set to arrive any moment from his art residency. We are all waiting in the downstairs drawing room.”

“Oh that is good to hear, I will join you all momentarily.”

His mother turned to face him. “Oh and Miss Featherington has taken her leave. The doctor deemed her well enough to return home.”

Colin stood abruptly, slamming his hands on the desk.

“What?! But mother, she was in no state-“

Lady Bridgerton recoiled, “I can assure you she is quite recovered, I saw so myself.”

Colin released his hands from the table and let them rest on his hips. His mother took a few strides towards him.

“Colin, is there something you wish to discuss with me regarding Penelope? I have never seen you so passionate about someone.”

Colin watched as his mother was clearly trying to read his face.

“That is kind Mother, but I have just been concerned for her health, that is all.”

His mother nodded with a short hum. “Very well.”

Sounds of commotion emanated from downstairs, accompanied by Hyacinth shouting “Brother, you have returned!”

His mother beamed, “Ah he has arrived! I shall see you downstairs.”

Colin nodded as his mother left to greet Benedict.

——————

This morning’s promenade was vastly different from the others this season. Although the morning sun was gleaming, frost latched onto the clovers and grass, which crunched under foot. The remainders of the morning fog rested amongst the green, causing breath to linger a little longer than usual.

“How are we meant to find Lord Ashbrooke in this ghastly fog…” Her mother complained.

“I believe behind you would be the answer.”

They both spun around in surprise.

“Lord Ashbrooke! What a delight! Have you come to whisk my Penelope away?” She beamed.

Ashbrooke chuckled. “If you would allow me Lady Featherington!” He turned to face Penelope, “May I?” He offered his arm.

“Of course my Lord.” She linked her arm around his, giving her mother a small smile as they walked away.

At first, they walked in silence, watching the onlookers clearly gossiping about their unlikely pairing.

“How have you been Miss Featherington?”

“I am completely recovered, thank you my Lord.”

He smiled down at her, “I am very glad of that.” He lifted his head and noticed more families whispering about them. “I wonder if we will be in Whistledown tomorrow… it would seem odd if we were not with all this chatter!”

“Indeed!” Penelope replied, “I am sure the Queen would be glad to hear it too as she has high hopes for her emerald…”

“maybe a little too high.” She murmured.

“Ah, are you starting to feel the pressure from the Queen?” He chuckled.

“I know, it is a very odd position to be in, believe me.” She laughed nervously.

He gazed down at her, pulling her slightly, gesturing her to stop walking.

“Miss Featherington, I hope you know, I am doing all this in earnest. I did not wish to promenade because you are the season’s incomparable, I wish to promenade to simply be with you. You are truly captivating.”

Penelope only but blinked at him.

“Would you care to save a dance for me at tonight’s ball?”

Penelope smiled at him, “Of course my Lord.”

Ashbrooke returned a smile.

——————

Colin trailed behind his family on the promenade. He watched his brother talk aimlessly about his residency, his mother the only one listening intently. More than anything, it seemed that she was just glad he had returned home.

“Lady Bridgerton!” Called out Lady Trowbridge.

“Ah, how good to see you!” She replied.

“I trust that you all shall be attending my ball tonight?”

“Of course! We are all very much looking forward to it!”

Lady Trowbridge beamed. She leaned in slightly and dropped her voice to a hushed tone.

“I heard a rumour that the Queen has devised a plan to gather evidence on Lady Whistledown at my ball! What if she unmasks her? What a spectacular moment that would be!”

Colin’s face dropped. “What?!”

His family span around to face him.

“Oh yes! I heard it from my servants this morning!”

“Well, we will be there regardless of what happens Lady Trowbridge.” Lady Bridgerton chimed.

“Of course. Good day!”

Colin felt his heart rate quicken. He had to tell Penelope not to go.

He had to protect her.

As they walked on, he constantly looked around for Penelope (or Ashbrooke) and that caught his brother’s attention.

“Brother, are you quite alright?” Anthony questioned, placing a hand on his back.

“Hm? Uh yes, I am well. I am just-“ his voice faltered.

He leant forward to try and meet his gaze, “Just what brother?”

Colin finally spotted Penelope and Ashbrooke in the distance. A bubble of jealousy grew in his stomach.

“Uh-“

Anthony followed his gaze to Penelope and Ashbrooke. His face shifted to that of understanding.

“Colin.”

Colin broke his gaze to finally meet Anthony’s.

“Sorry, I was distracted. You were saying?”

“Brother. I know that look all too well.”

Colin gave a dismissive look. Anthony completely ignored his dismissal.

“You must tell her.”

Colin stayed silent.

“Before it is too late.”

Colin blinked rapidly, trying not to think of a world where Ashbrooke married Penelope. Anthony placed his palm to his shoulder and squeezed slightly.

“Go.”

Colin nodded and made his way towards Penelope and Ashbrooke. He watched Penelope’s head flick up at him as he approached.

“Do you mind if I interrupt?”

“Colin.”

“It should only take a moment.”

Ashbrooke gave Colin a look of discontent.

“Mr Bridgerton, I would rather that you would not-“

“Please.” He looked down at Penelope.

Ashbrooke clenched his jaw. He looked down at Penelope.

“Will I see you tonight?”

“Of course my Lord.” She curtsied as he left. Colin’s eyes followed Lord Ashbrooke until he disappeared from sight. He turned to face Penelope.

“You cannot go tonight.” Colin demanded.

“Why not?”

He leant in closer, checking to see if anyone nearby was in earshot “The Queen is planning to unmask you at tonight’s ball.”

Her face turned serious, “How?”

“I do not know. But you must stay home tonight.”

“Colin you know I cannot!”

“Why not?!”

Penelope brought her tone down again, “Because I am the Queen’s emerald. It would be suspicious if I did not attend.”

“You were bed bound yesterday! Is that not excuse enough?”

Penelope made a gesture for him to be quieter, “There is another thing. I need to publish another edition tonight so I need to be there to know what to write about.”

“Then I will relay the information for you.”

“Colin, while I appreciate your concern, I can take care of myself. I will just have to wait until I am home to go to the printers press.”

“No!” He blurted out, realising his tone and repeated quieter with another “no.”

“I have done this a hundred times before, I will be fine.” She assured.

He shook his head, “No I cannot allow that.”

“Colin-“

“Then let me come with you.” He persisted.

“No.”

“Then I shall follow you.”

“Colin please just let me-“

“Penelope…” he levelled his face with hers, “I cannot risk losing you again.”

Penelope’s cheeks flushed red, her eyes flicking about his face. He swallowed as an attempt to contain himself.

”Colin…”

He lifted his face abruptly to break away from their intimate moment.

“I will- uh- see you tonight then.”

Penelope nodded, clearly dazed.

——————

The Trowbridge ball was Penelope’s favourite. Their floral decorations were always ethereal, transporting you to a fantastical realm where anyone could be anything. The ensemble was the largest at any soirée of the season, the sound perfectly harmonising about the hall. She commended their ball in Whistledown every year.

Lady Featherington spotted Lord Ashbrooke speaking with a group of ladies from across the ball.

“Quick Penelope, before he asks any of them to dance.” She pushed at her back, gesturing her to go towards him.

As Penelope walked across the ball, she noticed Cressida pushing through the crowd towards her.

“Penelope! What a pleasure to see you!” Smirked Cressida.

“Cressida, not now.” Penelope huffed, continuing towards Lord Ashbrooke.

“Whatever do you mean? I wish to congratulate you!”

Penelope paused, facing her in confusion.

“It seems you have two eligible suitors interested in you! What a great surprise!”

“Two?” She questioned.

“Why yes! Lord Ashbrooke and Mr Bridgerton. You know you ought to choose before people think you greedy…”

“Mr Bridgerton? Why ever would you think that?”

“Oh he is clearly infatuated with you!”

Penelope recoiled. “Cressida, you have got that completely wrong. Now if you excuse me-“

“But you see I am not wrong.”

Penelope paused again.

“You see, when you swooned, Mr Bridgerton demanded Lord Ashbrooke to let him take care of you instead. It was a sight witnessed by the whole ton.”

Penelope shifted her weight. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Do decide Miss Featherington, before the ton decides for you.”

He crooked her head and left.

Colin demanded that he take care of her instead? Why?

“Miss Featherington! Over here!” Called out Lord Ashbrooke. Penelope approached him.

“My Lord.” She curtsied.

“Would you do me the honour of being my first dance?” He offered his hand.

The ladies around him gasped.

“It would be my pleasure.”

She placed her hand in his and he lead her to the dance floor. He was the best dancer among all the eligible gentlemen, ladies sneered at Penelope in jealously.

They lifted their arms into frame. A couple’s waltz.

——————

The Queen peered down at Penelope and Ashbrooke.

“It seems that my emerald is shining particularly bright this evening Lady Danbury.”

“Indeed she is. They certainly make an interesting pair.”

“Interesting enough that Lady Whistledown would be particularly intrigued by their coupling.”

“Of course your majesty, and what is this plan of yours to unmask her? It has been the talk of the ton.”

“I have guards on every exit of this ball, and they will report any suspicious activity from my esteemed members of the ton. I also will be keeping a close eye on who converses with my emerald too. One of them must be Whistledown.”

“An interesting plan your majesty. And what will you do once you have unmasked her?”

Queen Charlotte turned to face Lady Danbury.

“Well I would have won of course.” She hummed in satisfaction, turning back to watch her emerald.

——————

Colin watched as Penelope curtsied and made her way to the lemonade table. Colin took his opportunity to speak with her.

“Pen, it is good to see you.”

“Colin! We should not be seen together.”

Colin recoiled in confusion. “Why should we not? I am always near you Pen, no-one would think of anything untoward.”

“Well apparently they are.” Penelope looked around nervously, “They think I am courting both of you. I do not wish to ruin my prospects on a scandalous rumour.”

“It is not like Whistledown would write about it, would she?”

“Well I may have to if you do not keep your distance!”

“Pen, I am only trying to help you.”

Penelope sighed, trying to calm herself.

“I know. I apologise. But please, just for today, until this rumour dies down.”

Colin swallowed, “Of course.”

Colin bowed and made his way towards his sister Francesca, who seemed to be completely swarmed by eligible men.

“Would you do me the honour of your next dance Miss Featherington?” Lord Roshimer bowed.

“Of course my Lord.”

——————

Penelope was utterly wearied after tonight. She had never danced so much in her life.

She slumped at her writing desk, pulled out a few sheets and began writing.

Dearest Gentle Reader,

It has come to this author’s attention that her majesty is attempting to unmask me. While I admire her determination, her pursuit shall remain fruitless. Despite her majesty’s efforts, I shall not hide away. I will always have information to provide as a service to you, dear reader. Gossip as I might, I always tell the truth.

And the truth is what you shall receive.

Our emerald Miss Penelope Featherington has appeared to have captured the interest of Lord Ashbrooke. How the young miss secured her newfound suitor is yet to be determined. This author has also become aware of a rumour regarding Miss Featherington’s courtship, however I am yet to hear any evidence for these accusations.

Make it known dear reader, if anyone shall reveal the circumstances of this match, it is I.

Yours Truly,

Lady Whistledown

*tick… tick… tick…*

Penelope looked around her room for the cause of this noise and eventually realised it was coming from the window.

She ran over to the window, placing her hands on the ledge and peered down.

Colin Bridgerton stood in a dark coat and gazed up at her. He cocked his head to gesture her to come down.

Penelope’s eyes widened.

“What are you doing?!” She mouthed.

He gestured her to come down again, more exaggerated this time.

Penelope reluctantly obeyed, extinguishing the candles in her room, swinging on her new cloak and slipping the written Whistledown in her pocket. She carefully made her way down to him.

“Come with me.” He linked his arm with hers and started walking towards Duke Street.

As she street lights dissipated, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer.

“Colin, you do not have to-“

“I want to.” He interrupted.

Penelope looked up at Colin completely bemused.

As they made their way towards Oxford Street, the number of passer-by’s grew. At every passing person, Colin pressed Penelope closer to his side. Penelope could hear his heart beating rapidly in his chest.

He cursed under his breath.

Penelope looked around frantically, “What?”

Colin suddenly pulled Penelope into a darkened doorway and covered his body with hers, lifting his elbow in an attempt to shield her face.

“Stay still.” He commanded.

Penelope’s breath quickened, causing Colin to look down on her.

“It is just Lord Fife and Lord Ambrose.” He reassured. “They are no doubt making their way to the gentleman’s club.”

Penelope nodded, gazing up at him. Colin dropped his elbow and put his hand in hers.

“Come on.”

He pulled Penelope away from the doorframe and out in the street again, continuing to pull her close.

They turned the corner onto Oxford Street and Colin flagged down a carriage.

“Where to?” Colin asked.

“Uh- Bloomsbury Printer’s Press” Penelope replied.

The coachman nodded and gestured them to enter.

“Mr Bridgerton is that you?!” Called out Lord Roshimer from across the street.

Colin and Penelope flicked their heads up. Colin felt his stomach twist.

“Quick! Get in!” Colin demanded, quickly helping her into the carriage and following suit, slamming the door behind him. He leaned over Penelope and frantically drew the curtains.

“Hey, Mr Bridgerton!” He called out again.

Colin banged on the carriage roof, “GO!”

Chapter Text

Colin looked down at Penelope clutching at her chest in an attempt to calm her breathing.

“Pen, I-“ he lifted his arm and placed it around her shoulders, “I am so sorry. I am sure he did not see you.”

“No…” she panted, “this is my fault. Colin I am so sorry for dragging you into this, I should never have told you.”

“You know I will always be there for you, no matter how ruinous the circumstances may be.”

Penelope lifted her head to meet his gaze. Colin drew back his arm and rested his hands on hers causing her to immediately calm her breathing.

“You are very special to me, Pen.”

This is it. This was his moment to confess it all. It had been eating away at him for too long and he was not sure he could handle it any longer.

He swallowed convulsively, “Pen, I- uh…” He let out a steading breath. “There is a question I have been meaning to ask you.”

Penelope flicked her eyes about his face.

“Well, uh… well.” He lifted his hands from hers and set them firmly on his lap. “Penelope…”

*KNOCK KNOCK*

Penelope and Colin both sat up with a start.

“Oh uh, it seems we have arrived.” He reached for the door. Penelope leant forward to stop him.

“Colin, what did you wish to ask me?”

“Uh, it is not important now.”

Penelope recoiled.

“I will ask you later.” He reassured, stepping out the carriage and helping her out. “Are we in the right place?”

“Uh yes. You can wait outside while I hand over the Whistledown.”

Colin peered into the printers shop and spied a rather large man working on a printers press. He instinctively reached out for Penelope.

“No. I will come in with you.”

“I know he looks rather threatening but I can assure you, Mr Lowe is a gentleman. He is very kind and welcoming, I will be fine.”

“Then he will be okay to welcome me, yes?” Colin reached for the door.

“Wait!”

Colin span around.

“No offence but you look rather… distinguished.”

Colin attempted to hide a smile. “And that is a bad thing?”

“Well unless you want to stick out like a sore thumb, yes.”

“He does not know you are Whistledown?” He questioned.

“No. I am simply her maid who delivers her sheets.” She curtsied, “Miss Adams”.

“Ah I see. Well then…” he ruffled his styled hair, pulled away his cravat and unbuttoned his shirt slightly. He bowed, “Mr Brooks.”

Penelope giggled. This sent a very warm feeling shooting through his body. If even for a second he made her happy, then he would be very fulfilled indeed. He bit his bottom lip to suppress his growing grin.

“Come on then Mr Brooks.” She grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the shop. Mr Lowe span around as they entered.

“Ah Miss Adams! I was wonderin’ when you would turn up! Another Whistledown for me?” His eyes met Colin’s.

“And who might this fine young man be eh?”

Colin began to bow but immediately stopped himself. He needed to fit in.

“Mr Brooks sir, I am joinin’ Miss Adams tonight.” He replied in a rather convincing cockney accent. He was quite surprised about how good it was.

“Ah… are you two???”

“No!” “Yes!”

Colin and Penelope immediately looked at eachother. Colin brought his arm around Penelope.

“Yes. We are to be married. She is a little shy about it you see, it is very new.”

He looked back down at Penelope who was utterly dumbfounded. Those words felt so natural to say, if only they were true.

“Ah well congratulations to you both! I hope to see you comin’ in with her more often then! You know what the streets are like round ‘ere at this time of night!”

“Oh of course. I will be here from now on.”

Penelope shot Colin a disapproving stare which he completely ignored.

“Have you got the written sheet for me then?”

“Uh, yes. Here it is.” Penelope handed Mr Lowe the sheet. He unfolded it and skimmed it over.

“I see this Penelope lady is mentioned again. She must be the popular one of that lot! I am sure the readers would pay good money to hear about this new gossip. Do you think a price increase would be beneficial?”

“No!” Penelope watched Mr Lowe recoil slightly at her tone. “Uh no. My apologies, you see she was very adamant that there are to be no price increases this season.”

“Well, what Whistledown says goes!”

Colin looked down at Penelope. She held so much power, yet she did not let it get to her head and become greedy. He smiled.

“Of course. However, I have been told that the paper boys require a wage increase.” She stepped forward and emptied out a pouch of money on a desk in front of Mr Lowe.

Colin watched in awe as she calculated the distribution of money to the workers and printing cost.

“…I believe that will be all for tonight yes?”

“Of course Miss Adams.” He winked at her, “or should I start sayin’ Brooks now?” He lifted his head over to Colin who snapped out of his focus on Penelope. “You look after her alright?”

Colin nodded. “I promise.” He offered his hand to Penelope.

“You do not have to.” she mouthed.

He gestured his hand again giving a reassuring nod. Penelope placed her hand in his bringing a grin to his face.

“Goodnight Mr Lowe!” Colin chimed.

“Goodnight you two!” He chuckled.

As they exited, Penelope attempted to break her hand away from his but he firmly held onto her.

“You know you do not have to do this.”

Colin faced her, taking her other hand. “I want to.”

Colin levelled his face with hers.

“Penelope you are truly the most inspiring, clever and talented woman I have ever met and I-“

Penelope watched as he dipped his chin nervously.

“I-“ Colin suddenly flicked his head up. Lord Roshimer was staring at him a few paces behind Penelope.

Penelope watched his face turn from complete happiness to horror.

“Colin, what is wrong?”

“Miss Penelope?” He questioned.

Penelope froze.

“No! This is not Penelope!” He brought her close to his chest.

“But I heard-“

“Well you are sorely mistaken. If we are done here…” Colin lifted Penelope into a carriage, ensuring her face was hidden. He began to enter the carriage.

“Mr Bridgerton! The emerald is not for taking, she must be shared amongst men!”

Colin stepped back out on the street.

“Lord Roshimer, you are clearly drunk. Go home.”

Lord Roshimer stumbled forwards, lunging for Colin’s lapels.

“I want her now. Hand her over Bridgerton!”

Colin instinctively pushed him back causing him to stumble to the ground.

“Leave!” Colin yelled.

“I will tell the ton! I will! I will ruin her!” He gestured to the carriage angrily.

Colin’s anger turned to complete fury. He pulled him up and pushed him against a wall.

“IF YOU DARE SPREAD THESE LIES SO HELP ME GOD!!”

“Have at it Mr Bridgerton,” he chuckled, “let us see who the ton shall believe.”

Colin slammed him against the wall again, letting him go, causing him to fall to the floor. He stormed towards the carriage and slammed the door behind him.

“To Grosvenor Square, as quick as you can.”

“Aye sir.”

——————

Most of the ride back, Penelope watched Colin anxiously press his palms to his knees. She knew he felt enormously guilty so attempted to suppress her fear. She looked up at him, he was furrowing his brows and breathing heavily through his nose. She had never seen him in such a state of anger and fear.

“Colin-“

Colin flicked his head towards her, “No-one will believe him you know. He is a drunk and a liar. He may even just forget it all.” He broke his gaze from hers and watched his hands stirring about his knees. “If he says anything, I will do everything in my power to discredit him. I will threaten him if I have to. He will not-“

Penelope rested her hands on his causing him to cease his rambling.

“Colin, I am Whistledown. I have the power to discredit him simply by saying so.”

Colin returned his gaze to hers. His eyes were glassed over and his anger turned to sorrow.

“Pen, I am so sorry you have to do that.”

Penelope gestured reassuringly, “Oh it will be easy, he is notorious for spreading lies and exaggerating…” She leaned in closer, Colin following her gaze, “I believe I have actually discredited him before regarding a rumour with Benedict.”

Colin blinked rapidly, accidentally releasing a tear from his eye. He immediately wiped it away, breaking his hands from hers.

She had never seen him cry and it was the strangest sight she had ever seen. The usually excitable and charming man brought to a state of anger, sorrow and guilt. If he had not declared it so, it was as if he cared for her more than a friend. Like Miss Adams and Mr Brooks. If only it was like that.

“Ah sorry. I-“ He smiled slightly, “My mother believes me sensitive. It appears she is correct.”

She chuckled, “Maybe my sensitivity is rubbing off on you!”

“Ah so you are to blame!” He gave her a light push, “Well if you could stop doing that, I would appreciate it! I do not want Whistledown exposing me!”

They both laughed, faltering to a smile. Their smiles drooped and they gazed at each other in silence. Colin was assessing her face and this made the blood rush to her cheeks. She bit her lip instinctively and gazed at him through her lashes. How could she stop loving him? It was completely impossible.

Colin dropped his gaze to her lips. “You are so beautiful.”

Penelope gasped at his remark. Before she could process what he had just said, he lifted his hand and pulled her cloak from her head, revealing her curly red hair. Upon the release of the cloak, her hair sprawled about her face. Colin watched in awe and reached to caress her hair.

“Colin what are you-“

He tucked a single curl behind her ear and ran his fingers behind her jaw and rested them beneath her chin.

Chills ran down Penelope’s spine, sending butterflies flittering in her stomach, and before she knew it, his lips were on hers.

He was exceedingly gentle, his lips merely resting on hers. She leaned into his kiss, lifting her hand and gently running her fingers through his hair.

Colin pushed closer, letting out a long breath from his nose. His kisses were gentle and soft, his hand cupped her chin and his thumb pressed into her cheek.

He pulled back for a moment, watching her face. His mouth dropped open at the sight of her and that made Penelope’s heart flutter. She instinctively reached for his cheek, mirroring his grasp and pushed forward to kiss him again, causing Colin to let out a deep groan.

Penelope had no idea what she was doing but was confident that her instincts were working as she felt Colin’s hands stirring at her back, pushing her closer. One of his hands settled on her hip, his ring pressing into her pelvis. Even with her eyes closed, she felt that this touch was Colin’s and that set her on fire.

His kisses traversed down her jaw and to her neck. Upon of the release of his lips from hers, she began involuntarily murmuring his name.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

“Which house sir?”

Penelope sat up immediately with a gasp, pulling away from Colin, her hands pushing on his knees to set herself upright. She poked her head out the window.

“Oh uh, that one there. Thank you.” She gestured to her house and the carriage began making its way towards her home.

She flicked her head back to Colin, her breath quickening as she began to process what just occurred.

“Colin I-“

Colin remained in his position, mouth agape and laughing to himself in disbelief.

“Colin!” She chuckled.

“Now who taught you to kiss like that?!” He laughed, completely flushed, his lips swollen from her kisses.

At first she brought her hand to her mouth in shock from his state. Then he smiled one of his famous smiles. She immediately felt her resolve melt away. She laughed, slapping his arm and letting herself out the carriage. Colin leant over to stop her from leaving.

“Penelope wait-“

“Colin I have to go before I am noticed! Can you imagine what mother would say if she saw us like this!” She closed the carriage door and leant towards the window, “Let us talk tomorrow at the ball. It seems we have something to discuss.” She crooked a devilish smile at Colin, causing him press his hand to his lips in disbelief.

“Goodnight.” She mouthed, turning on her heel and fleeing towards her side gate.

Colin watched as she disappeared back into her home. He slumped backwards, completely overcome by emotion.