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From a very young age, Yuuri had this habit.
It wasn’t something he was necessarily aware of, but his family and close friends brought it up so often that he had convinced himself that it wasn’t true, purely due to the sheer embarrassment of it all.
When Yuuri was overly tired or distracted, he would mutter his internal thoughts aloud.
On the surface, this didn’t seem like too big an issue. But it became a massive problem when his mind would wonder to more…personal musings. Things he’d rather keep private.
He’d still cringe to this day at the memory of himself in high school, bored out of his mind in math class, still an hour to go before lunch break. He had started to fantasise about food, his mouth watering as he thought of his mother’s delicious katsudon, his stomach rumbling slightly in protest. Delectable broth, soft boiled eggs, crunchy vegetables…
“Juicy pork cutlets…I need it now…”
A snicker behind him made him stiffen in horror, quickly swallowing the building drool in his mouth, his face burning in hot embarrassment.
Since then, he had made efforts to try and curb the habit, focusing hard on drawing his lips in a tight line whenever he felt the familiar feeling of exhaustion tugging on his eyelids. He had mostly been successful, often able to catch himself before an upcoming ramble, saving himself from the painful mortification. Recently, however, his mind had become a little more active than usual, a new focus weighing heavy on his heart.
Victor Nikiforov.
Yuuri smiled softly to himself, gentle eyes watching fondly as Victor typed away on his keyboard, brow furrowed slightly in concentration, sharp blue eyes intense and focused. The CEO had temporarily moved desks to sit opposite Yuuri whilst his office underwent renovations, giving the employee a perfect view of his breathtaking face, overwhelmed by his flawlessly beautiful features.
Sighing dreamily, Yuuri leant back in his desk chair, chewing shyly on the tip of his pen, a wobbly smile tugging at his lips. How can anyone be that handsome? It wasn’t just his good looks though, he had such a good heart. The most generous man he knew, always looking out for others, always putting others first. The kindest soul, sweet and teasing, fun-loving and friendly, all wrapped in the irresistibly suave exterior. He was too good to be true, really.
Most people saw him as a spectacle, a shiny object of professionalism, and it made Yuuri so angry. How dare they overlook the beautiful human being within, rich with life and character, so intelligent and witty, spontaneous and entertaining, so so lovable. Yuuri couldn’t wrap his head around it. It was hard to believe someone like him was real.
He knew how lucky he was, getting to spend so much time with the ever popular Mr CEO, gifted with his best and his worst, witnessing him at his most vulnerable. It was almost overwhelming in a way, he always felt so much when he was with Victor. His heart would pound in his chest, his skin tingling with excitement and anticipation for the next surprise that would get thrown his way. It was almost too much to bear, and Yuuri never wanted it to end.
He didn’t even care if his crush was unrequited; getting to spend time with a man as magnificently enchanting as Victor was enough.
Yuuri smirked tiredly to himself, his heart bursting with affection , lovingly gazing at the Russian beauty.
“You must be exhausted Mr CEO, being so perfect all the time…”
“E-Excuse me?”
Yuuri froze as his stomach dropped, weary eyes finally focusing from behind his glasses, rapidly coming to the realisation that Victor was talking to him, and that he may or may not have said that last remark aloud. Indescribable embarrassment crashed over him like a wave, his face burning red, not at all aided by the amused sneering from Yurio at the nearby desk, or the delighted chuckling from Phichit next to him.
He heard me, there’s no way he didn’t hear me…
Victor’s mouth was slightly agape as he peered past his monitor, stunning blue eyes wide and confused, his perfect cheekbones dusted pink as he stared at Yuuri with a startled expectancy, almost as if he couldn’t believe what he just heard. Despite his crushing mortification, Yuuri couldn’t help but frown at his CEO’s disbelief.
Why does he look so surprised? Surely he knows just how incredible he is…
Awkwardly clearing his throat and hiding behind his monitor, Yuuri quickly locked his screen, standing with a start and quickly making his way to the restrooms, ignoring the teasing eyes glued to him as he passed.
Once he locked the door he could finally breathe, hiding his head in his hands and groaning loudly in embarrassment. He was so disappointed in himself, it had been years since he’d let something that shameful slip by. Bending over the sink to carefully splash cool water on his face, he tried his best to rationalise the situation.
Well, that really wasn’t good. But it could’ve been worse! At least it wasn’t the same thoughts I was having last night; Victor in bed, writhing in the sheets and moaning so beautifully, his hard di-
A horrified squeal bounced off the walls of the bathroom as his hands slapped over his mouth, his face burning with shame. It could’ve definitely been worse. Letting out a defeated sigh, Yuuri dried his face, taking a steely breath as he exited the restroom.
As he gingerly made his way back to the bank of desks, he paused when he heard hushed, accented whispering coming from the kitchen. Curiosity getting the better of him, he carefully lingered behind the door, listening in, his heart nestled uncomfortably in his throat.
“-No Chris, that’s definitely what he said!……Yes I’m sure! Oh you should’ve heard it, how can anyone be so precious!”
Yuuri’s eyes widened from his hiding place, his mouth dropping open slightly as he leant against the wall for support, his legs suddenly feeling like jelly. Is he talking about me…?
“Poor thing definitely didn’t want me to hear though, he looked so embarrassed! He has no idea that that’s going to be the best thing I hear all month!”
A grin spread over Yuuri’s face, tugging almost painfully as a weight was lifted off of his shoulders. He’d still have to be more careful when it came to his little habit, but he supposed Victor hearing wasn’t the worst thing in the world. His previous nervousness slowly ebbed away, replaced by an indescribable feeling of warmth. He happily made his way back to his desk, actively ignoring the mocking snickers from Yurio, consequently failing to hear the rest of Victor and Chris’s conversation.
“Oh Chris, he’s just too perfect! I really need to find the courage to ask him out…”