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The party starts winding down around ten. Things get noisy as the kids are sent to bed - Isotake holds onto the doorframe, resisting Kinugawa’s attempts to take him away, while Kurama stirs drunken Yowa and Oguro’s attentive butler by grabbing the tray with the leftover cake on his way out. Around the same time, Toi and Yodaka-san excuse themselves for work, with Natsume offering to give Toi a lift. Ryui intervenes in the nick of time, to get Karigane away from the squabble over clean-up and convince him to drive. Soon, the living room is back to a sleepy lull. Low buzz of hushed conversations is accompanied by the snores of Nishizono Renga, nearly saved from face planting into his plate by Murakumo’s quick reflexes. The latter gets up, stretches and picks up Nishizono from the table, throwing his arm around his shoulders.
“Let’s go, Renga-san. Heave-ho.”
Hachinoya, stopped halfway into a story about genetic mutations in flower petals and the unusual patterns they create, fidgets miserably, gesturing as if to offer to help carry his unconscious friend. Dismissed by a short but assertive “No need” from Murakumo, he stands stumped in the middle of the room, looking for someone to join. However, all he finds are Kamina and Oguro with the Chief stuck between them, off in their own world, and Yowa, Kitakata, Domeki and Isabuchi, trying to drink each other under the table. At some point in time, the inseparable duo of Ev3ns seems to have slipped away; same for Liguang.
Slowly, Ryui starts inching towards the door. He nearly makes it, but Hachinoya turns around and makes a beeline for him.
“Ryui! Are you… I mean… Going to bed?”
“Not really,” Ryui replies without thinking, then curses himself for the honesty. Already, there’s a hopeful glimmer in Hachinoya’s eyes.
“Then, would you mind if…”
“I am going to Arataka now, though.”
Hachinoya’s eyebrows and shoulders both droop. He starts fiddling with one of the straps of his overalls.
“I see. If you have work, I shouldn’t interrupt you.”
He doesn’t leave Ryui’s space, however. He looks down, face scrunched up. Thinking intently, Ryui realizes with a dose of apprehension.
“Then… take care. You haven’t been drinking much, right? Still, if you take the hoverboard, there’s a chance you tumble, so it’s best you walk… I know!” Hachinoya lights up in an instant. “I could drive you on my bike!”
“And that’s supposed to lower the chance of us crashing? Wait, haven’t you been drinking?”
“Nope. Only water and juice.”
“You sure there was no grape juice mixed in?
“Grape? There was only orange and apple, though, and lemonade?” Hachinoya tilts his head.
Ryui notices the telltale signs of a headache coming on. He can only hope that for once, Astaroth is not listening, eavesdropping on Toi’s clients instead.
“I meant wine… Nevermind.”
Massaging his temple with one hand, Ryuic considers his options. He could leave Hachinoya here. He hasn’t provided any sensible reason for wanting to come along, and Ryui doubts he’s getting one. Still, there’s a hint of desperation to his excuse that makes Ryui think there’s something more to it than Hachinoya simply feeling awkward.
”Come. We’re taking the train.”
“You’re letting me go with you? Really?”
“That’s what I’m saying, ain’t it? Don’t make me repeat myself… Don’t go crying again, either!”
To Hachinoya’s left, Ryui spots Domeki watching them over his glass with a strange smirk. Ryui takes advantage of the fact that Yowa is throwing back another beer, while Kitakata is on the phone - ordering more takeout ramen, perhaps - and grabs Hachinoya’s wrist to pull him out of the living room with only one witness. They somehow make it outside, despite Hachinoya stumbling over his feet with wordless noises of confusion. Even as the humid night air hits his flushed cheeks, Ryui can’t tell what he is actually embarrassed about.
“By the way, Ryui.”
“What’s it?”
“Why didn’t you tell Toi to take the train? He usually does, doesn’t he?”
“Use your head. Natsume wanted to go with him. If he’d fallen asleep on Toi, how d’you expect Toi to lug him to his bar?”
“Oh. True. Toi’d have felt obliged, too.”
“Natsume might hold his alcohol well, but the occasion today… It makes you think.”
“Think…?”
An announcer’s voice echoes through the nearly deserted platform. Hachinoya starts and looks up from the train timetable app on his smartphone, his hold growing slack. The device slips through his fingers, but Ryui catches it just before it falls on the rails.
“Thank you. That was awesome. You could play games with these reflexes, Ryui… Not that I know much about those.”
“It’s nothing. Let’s sit.”
Aside from a couple of salarymen dozing off in the back of the car and a girl wearing huge headphones, they’re the only passengers. Rather than the narrow two person seats that’d have them touching knes and shoulders, Ryui picks the bench running along the wall in the middle. Hachinoya plops down next to him, still pretty close, but with enough room for both of them to breathe. Natsume’s topic doesn’t come up again. For a moment, Ryui zones out, staring at the city lights of HAMA flashing by out of the opposite window.
“Ryui? Are you not drinking your water?”
“Hm?”
“It’s condensed, and it’s making a little puddle. Look.”
Hachinoya points at the PET bottle Ryui has grabbed from the vending machine at the station. The surface has fogged up; small droplets run down Ryui’s hand and splash oto the floor.
“This? I got that for you. Catch.”
Even with the small distance between them, Hachinoya still nearly drops it. Instead of unscrewing the cap, he stares at the bottle, then at Ryui, like he just received another present.
“Running the waterworks all through the party, you gotta be dehydrated, right? Better drink up.”
Hachinoya obeys, reluctantly at first, then downing the entire bottle in several long gulps. Ryui catches himself watching the way Hachinoya’s throat moves as he drinks, and pointedly averts his eyes.
“Sorry.” Hachinoya wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “It must’ve been a nuisance, crying so much. I guess people usually don’t.”
“That’s not… Argh, it’s not that, okay? No one said you are.”
Hachinoya glances up at him with big, round, watery eyes.
“Really?”
“They’re not used to you, that’s all. You’ve known them for what, a few months? And it’s your first birthday in this godforsaken company. Next year, everyone’s gonna have a better idea how you react.”
“Ah… There’s going to be one next year,” Hachinoya whispers, mostly to himself. A small smile returns to his face.
“Can’t blame them for being surprised, either. Pretty rare to see that from someone who’s not drunk off his ass.”
“I couldn’t drink alcohol. It was a bit tricky, because everyone was trying to pour me some.”
“Why? Got an upset stomach?”
“A bit, from the nerves. But no. I couldn’t risk forgetting anything, even a moment. It was my first party, after all.”
Ryui thinks back to his last birthday party before joining HAMA Tours, more than 10 years ago. A stream of blurry faces and platitudes, relatives neither he nor Toi had invited; his father’s wishes that’d never come true, not for Ryui, at least, his mother’s smiling eyes that wouldn’t turn his way again. Toi beaming at his side, tugging at his sleeve, whispering into his ear - the only radiant memory, more vivid than the smell of candles or the taste of cake. The following year, there’d be no cake for Ryui. No place at the table, with the Shiramitsu clan swarming around Toi, enraptured by his holy light. The one inside the circle, and the one outside. After all, there’s no point celebrating someone who’s already failed to carry out his purpose in being born.
He can only imagine Hachinoya’s birthdays so far. Even without a mirror image to keep time by, he wouldn’t have forgotten - not with the specter of his mother haunting his thoughts. She’d feel closer, around that time, more defined, like someone who could step into Hachinoya’s shop at any moment. Still, only a random shopper would walk through the door on the way to someone’s else’s celebration.
Each year would’ve added a layer to his loneliness, each 22th of July a reminder birthdays were not something that applied to him. Yet, once the chance came along, bringing people who didn’t mind the invisible divide between himself and others, Hachinoya was able to cry and smile, taking it all in with eyes wide open in wonder.
Very much unlike Ryui, just last month.
“I just can’t win against you, huh…”
“Hm? Were we competing over something?”
“Like hell we were. Forget it.”
“You’re being strangely nice today, Ryui. You gave me a present, you let me come with you to work, you reassured me instead of calling me an idiot, and now you spared me a lecture…” Hachinoya counts on his fingers, thoughtful. “Is this the positive effect of partying on stress relief they mentioned on the radio?”
“You… “ Ryui spots one of the dozing strangers shifting uneasily in their seat and bites his lip. He takes a deep breath and counts backwards, imaging Toi’s smile. Okay, good.
“It’s your birthday, ain't it? Enjoy it while it lasts”
“Oh. That’s how it works?”
“‘Sides, I’m not opening the shop tonight. Need to sort out the new batch for tomorrow.”
“New amulets? Can I see?”
“As long as you don’t touch anything. Actually, don’t walk too close, either. Just sit somewhere and stay put.”
“Got it. I’ll do my best.”
“I’m begging you, don’t.”
As they arrive in HAMA 15, Ryui takes a route that wouldn’t have them pass by Angel’s Eye, though he’s nearly certain Toi will know who came with him, anyway. That conversation can wait until he’s sobered up and had some time to think of excuses.
Slightly dusty air inside Arataka envelopes him like a hug. From the selection and arrangement of products on the shelves, to the choice of furniture and accessories, Ryui took pains to make the interior auspicious while breaking just about every decorating rule of the Shiramitsu household. Were one of his dear relatives step inside, they’d take a sharp turn and return from whence they came, cursing him all the while. It’s just how he likes it, too.
The store is hardly a private space, and the kitchen and bathroom in the back have only necessities, bought outlet or second-hand - a stove that barely meets safety regulations, a tiny table and two chairs, just enough for Toi to sit down with him if he visits, an overly stiff sofa, to stop Ryui from falling asleep while he studies at night, a shower spraying cold water half of the time. It’s his work, though, him putting it together, and that makes it feel like a second home. It should give him pause, to bring Hachinoya in after closing, let him hog his nicest pouf and watch Ryui reorganize like he’s prime time TV, yet, strangely, it doesn’t. It might be that he’s been here before, when the members of L4mps were helping him paint.
Ryui fills the empty spots on ths shelves and trays, hangs a couple more pendants on the rack, and checks his stock of drawstring bags. He’s on the edge, waiting for Hachinoya to suddenly appear behind him when he’s getting off a ladder or to his side when he’s about to make a turn, but his guest does as he’s told and stays put. As Ryui falls into rhythm, running a mental checklist: the most popular goods at eye level, nothing overturned, missing or broken, new items meshing with his thematic system, he’s late to notice that Hachinoya hasn’t spoken for a while.
Hachinoya’s gangly form is hunched over, his arms crossed over his chest. His head is sleepily bobbing up and down, but his breathing is shallow and soundless. It hasn’t been long since he dozed off.
“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?”
Hachinoya looks up with a few slow, bleary blinks. “Ryui. Why are you yelling?”
“Why are you using my store as your bedroom, huh?”
“My bad. The atmosphere was just so comfortable.”
“If you want to sleep, go back to the dorm!”
“Ah… Actually. There’s that little thing."
He sits up proper, his back straight, knees together. With his hands folded in his lap, looking down, Hachinoya somehow resembles a chastised puppy.
“Don’t tell me… “Ryui drags his palm down his face. “You ordered so many flowers you can’t get to your bed?”
“There’s that, too.”
Silence falls over the shop. Outside, someone walks by, singing a drunken tune. With a soft whirr, Ryui’s pet robot wakes at his charging station and disconnects his own power cord with a flick of his tail.
“Leave the rest of the prep to me, boss.”
“Tosaka.”
“That reminds me, we got some good herbal tea in the back, don’t we, boss? Easy on the stomach and the nerves.”
As expected, the mention of flowers piques Hachinoya’s interest.
“Floral? Ryui, you didn’t have to.”
“Shut your pie hole, I didn’t get it for you. It’s for Toi. You’re not getting that one.”
“Aw…”
“...There’s a cheaper blend I keep for his clients. Just in case one comes in looking like they can’t handle what they heard. It’d be bad for business, letting them home like that.”
“You’re nicer than you look, Ryui.”
There it is, that know-it-all smirk on Hachinoya’s face. In his edge of vision, Ryui spots Tosaka mirroring the look. Ryui swats at him, and the robot returns to his duties, cackling all the while.
“What’s that? Plain boiled water is fine, you say?”
“I’m sorry. Please, let me have some tea, Ryui-san.”
“That’s better.”
Hachinoya stays behind, chatting with Tosaka about something related to Sonia, while Ryui searches his cupboard for the kettle. He pauses over the two metal tins of tea, both with a similar aquatic design. They were chosen by his brother, based on how the clione drawn on the smaller tin reminded him of Mashiro, while the eel on the other half of the set resembled Tosaka. That smaller one is now reserved for Toi’s use, while the regular folk drink from the bigger one.
Ryui angles himself to block the view of the counter from the shop and reaches for the smaller tin. Toi would’ve told him to do the same, he convinces himself; it’s still the guy’s birthday, after all. Not that Toi knows of his little double standard in the first place.
“C’mere, Hachinoya. Let Tosaka do his job.”
“Coming!”
Hachinoya scrambles up at pauses at the doorway to the back. He utters “Excuse the intrusion,” before shuffling into the kitchen. Looking from the chairs to the sofa, he stands awkwardly in place, making the place more cramped than usual.
“Where should I…?”
“Sofa,” Ryui decides instantly. The chairs are arranged so he and Toi could look at each other as they talk. He’d rather look at the memos on his fridge than stare into this particular guest’s eyes. “I’ll get your cup in a sec.”
“It smells really nice. Even your cheaper leaves must be pretty good.”
“Just your imagination.”
In the shop, Tosaka puts on some music, uninvited. A mellow instrumental track flows through the room.
Hachinoya grasps his mug with both hands and takes a cautious sip.
“It’s really tasty. Are you sure you didn’t get the good ones by mistake? If it’s because of my bad luck, I’ll pay you back."
“You’d better practice taste-testing with Nishizono next time.”
Ryui means it, technically. It looks like Hachinoya could teach him a lot.
“Anyway, forget that. If you drift off the moment you sit your ass down, why didn’t you just stay at the dorm and sleep?”
“It’s a bit silly, though. You’re going to laugh.”
“And how many times have I laughed at you, so far?”
Hachinoya frowns. For a moment, he seems to be looking straight through Ryui and the walls of Arataka. Watching his expression from the corner of his eye, Ryui wonders what exactly he might be remembering. He can only hope it’s not their disastrous first meeting and Ryui’s failed escape attempt.
“Oh.”
“See?”
“You yelled at me plenty, but you didn’t really laugh.”
“Hurry up and spit it out, then. Or, do you need another cup?”
“In a bit.”
Hachinoya takes a couple more sips of his tea, then exhales deeply.
“To be honest, the flowers were’t that big of an issue. I was going to give them away, anyhow. It’s because Yodaka-san went out.”
“So?”
It’s an open secret, at least among the members of the night shift, that at first, Hachinoya avoided sleeping at the HAMA House. He’d slip out and return to his store, with only his pet robot for company. Even before he collapsed, from the look of his skin and the slight lag to his movements, Ryui had wondered if Hachinoya slept at all. Lately, there’s been some improvement that suggests his bedroom at the dorms is finally getting some intended use, still; having the space for himself should hardly be the problem. Quite the opposite.
“I was… afraid. That if I’d go to bed alone, and wake up alone, it’d all have been a dream.”
It’s all too familiar. The tension in Hachinoya’s shoulders, his palms gripping the tea cup too tightly so his fingers wouldn’t shake. His carefully blank expression, save for the deep shadow falling over his eyes. It’s like looking in a mirror.
“The party was amazing. I think I’ve never been so happy. When people started to leave, though… It struck me: wow, it’s ending. It felt like it’d really end. Everything.”
“Like nothing this fun would happen again.”
His voice, quiet but steady, tells Ryui that it’s not Hachinoya’s first time facing this particular demon. He must’ve said it to himself before, repeated to get used to the thought, even. It makes Ryui’s blood boil and his stomach churn, at the same time.
“Hachinoya. Look here. Listen to me.”
He takes both their cups and deposits them onto the table. When Hachinoya doesn’t react, Ryui grabs his shoulder and makes him turn his way. He doesn’t have to apply much force; lost in his thoughts, Hachinoya doesn’t resist, like a dool with his strings cut. Ryui shakes him, for good measure.
“What’s going to end? Don’t give me that crap, like you’ve no choice but to watch it happen!”
“Ryui…?”
“Aren’t you the one who keeps things going?”
From the look on Hachinoya’s face, he could as well be speaking a different language.
“L4mp’s tour, our performance at the end. The freaking HAMA Tours - think they’d meet the quota without you? Even this shop - it’s all because of you I got this place, forgot that already? Without you, I wouldn’t even qualify for the goddamn group!”
Before he realizes, Ryui ends up on top of Hachinoya, breathless and shaking. Hachinoya, pushed down onto the sofa, his legs tangled uncomfortably with Ryui’s, he doesn’t seem afraid, rather spellbound, as if he never looked at things in the same way. As if everything Ryui threw in his face wasn’t completely obvious.
“I don’t think they’d have fired you…”
“Don’t know that. Didn’t have to find out, thanks to you putting yourself in a hospital pulling weeds”
“That was just a coincidence, though. I didn’t really do anything. “
“Fine. You know what wasn’t random chance?”
Hachinoya slowly shakes his head, stupefied. His hair, splayed out on the sofa pillow, shines in the overhead light.
“You tried to run away once, but you came back. No one…” Ryui bites his lip, forcing past the lump in his throat. “No one had to drag you back here. You made sure things didn’t end, you hear me? You, and no one else!”
As his steam runs out and mortification sets in, Ryui hangs his head down to avoid Hachinoya’s gaze. He tries to push himself up, to get off Hachinoya and leave, anywhere his legs can carry him, but he’s stopped by a pair of lanky arms wrapping around his waist and shoulders.
“Ryui. Thank you.”
Hachinoya isn’t muscular, and he’s not holding on fast. Ryui should have no problem resisting, but the sheer surprise makes him fall onto Hachinoya’s chest. Under his ear, he can feel Hachinoya’s quickened heartbeat and shaky breath, like he’s holding back tears.
“This is the best present I received today.”
“Bullshit.”
“You saved me again. Just like that day on stage.”
“I don’t fucking remember saving you. More like you dooming me to eternal damnation.”
“It was fun, wasn’t it? I wanna do a comedy show together again, next time.”
“Well, I don’t.”
“I won’t give up. I’ll convince you, with my fancy powers.”
“Why did I fucking say anything… Enough, let me up! It's gonna ruin our necks and backs if we stay like this.”
“But I’m just discovering how nice and compact sized you are. Five more minutes…”
“No way!”
“Would you do manzai with me, then?”
“You… I’ll remember this!”
“Does that mean yes?”
Ryui can hear the smile in Hachinoya’s voice now.
“No. Way.”
“Ah, goodnight, then. Tosaka?” Hachinoya calls out, embarrassingly loud in Ryui’s ears, “Can you bring us a blanket?”
“ Hachinoyaaa-! ”
Ryui finally manages to pivot, and the two of them tumble down from the sofa and onto the floor. Ryui sits up, to find Hachinoya unmoving, arm slung over his eyes. Fear creeping in, Ryui leans in and touches Hachinoya’s shoulder.
“Hey, you haven’t hit your head, have you?””
…only to be greeted by soft, chucking laughter.
In the shop, the clock strikes midnight, announcing the start of a new day.
“Ryui?”
“Weren’t you supposed to sleep?”
“Ryui, why do you dislike your birthday?”
“Why the hell should I be telling you?”
“I told you about mine.”
“Don’t remember agreeing to some bullshit give and take system. Sleep.”
Ryui rolls over, facing the back of the sofa. He’s using his own rolled up jacket as a pillow; the actual sofa pillows, together with the only blankets, are laid out on the floor to make Hachinoya a place to sleep. The sofa is only Ryui sized, and the floor space is not wide enough for Ryui to get down there in solidarity, so there’s no way around it.
“That’s not very fair,” Hachinoya, who had no complaints about the sleeping arrangements, observes.
“Life ain't fair.”
He feels persistent poking at his back. When he looks down over his shoulder, Hachinoya plays dumb, with hands down his sides. However, as Ryui turns back, the poking starts again.
“...Fine. Don’t tell anyone else, though.”
It makes him feel like a teenager talking about love during a sleepover, but he doesn’t fancy Chief and the rest sticking their noses into that topic just yet, not when most of them believe Toi’s powers are just a late case of chuunibyou .
“Cross my heart.”
“Years ago, I fucked up something very important. Big time. Birthdays are nothing but a shitty reminder how many years it has been… And how few I have left to fix it.”
How few birthdays Toi has left to celebrate, because of him. All the more reason why it’s him, not Ryui, who should be the star and focus of each one.
Hachinoya falls silent for long enough that Ryui starts to wonder if he’s actually asleep.
“I see. I don’t know what happened, but let me know if I can help.”
“ That’s your reaction?”
“Also, that’s just how I feel, but for me, your birthday’s a reminder how long it’s been since I met you.”
Ryui’s jaw drops. The air in the room gets hot and stuffy, all of sudden.
“Wh… Who asked you?!”
“I can use it to count down the time until our next stage as a duo, as well.”
“I don’t remember saying yes to that, either.”
“Hehe. It’s only a matter of time.”
Deep down, Ryui’s afraid that may really be the case.