Work Text:
Luo Binghe hated doctors’ offices.
He had hoped that he would become used to them when he first started his medical transition. Between the general practitioners, psychologists, psychiatrists, surgeons, and gynecologists, he spent a lot of time in them and had hoped his distaste for the places would ease over the years.
It did not.
Going to the doctor was a minefield of getting weird looks for being a man and getting misgendered for not passing as one. And that was if the patrons and staff weren’t intentionally being transphobic just because they could. He had been forced for years to go to others to convince them that he was just the right kind of different to be deemed trans and thus worthy (bleh) of getting the medical care he needed. Years of having his mind and body poked and prodded, just to get access to the things that cis men got easily.
And then, after that, came the goddamn insurance companies.
So, yes, he hated going to the doctor even as the white coats gave him what helped him feel like himself. It had gotten somewhat easier as the internet and his friends had guided him to more welcoming spaces for people like him, but years of bad experiences didn’t disappear just because he was finally being treated as a normal person. There was always the odd nurse who used miss to refer to him or patients’ visitors that gawked at him.
One of the things that really had helped the most was bringing along someone he knew cared about him more than how others perceived them being together. And Shen Yuan fit that role perfectly.
Shen Yuan held his hand as they waited for Doctor Mu Qingfang to arrive for this final follow up appointment for his top surgery. Luo Binghe had been cursed with large breasts that had tormented him for nearly a decade before he had finally been able to get them removed (though he regretted not being able to gift them to a trans sister in need). Doctor Mu had performed the surgery months ago, had seen that his drains had been removed and that his chest was healing properly. Luo Binghe had watched his healing process nearly obsessively, amazed by how free he felt as he looked down at himself without being assaulted by twin mountains of flesh protruding from his chest.
The thing was…he hated his boobs more for how they made other people treat him. He had grown to hate part of his body because of how people looked at them first and never really saw him, and it was a hate that no amount of therapy could fix.
On other people, he found boobs as fun as the next bi guy. On himself, it was nothing short of a relief to have them gone.
Today, after a years’ long process to get them removed, was the last time he planned on seeing Doctor Mu. His scars had settled and his anatomy stopped shifting. It was a routine follow-up appointment, nothing to truly note in Doctor Mu’s schedule.
It meant everything to Luo Binghe. It meant just as much to have Shen Yuan beside him.
“Are you nervous?” Shen Yuan asked, holding his hand.
Luo Binghe beamed at him. He adored the other man who called him his best friend, and knew that his feelings were returned for all that Shen Yuan denied it. He was flustered about no longer seeing himself as “straight” because of his attraction to Binghe, but the only one he managed to lie to was himself. Luo Binghe kept waiting for him to stop being so perfect, but coming with him today, not dismissing his anxiety around going to the doctor even with Doctor Mu being one of the most empathetic he had met, was the final nail in the coffin for him.
He would ask him out explicitly on a date after this. He had been waiting for this day for more than one reason. He would close the chapter on this surgery within the hour and be able to devote himself to the next gigantic but necessary journey in his life–bagging Shen Yuan as his husband.
For now, he just took comfort in the care in Shen Yuan’s voice and posture. “Not so much with you here.”
There was a knock at the door and Shen Yuan startled from a quiet moment where they had just looked at each other. He started to pull away but Luo Binghe held his hand tight and he relaxed immediately. “Come in,” Binghe beckoned.
Doctor Mu Qingfang, a tall but thin man in his late forties, entered with a smile. “Good afternoon, gentlemen. Luo Binghe, how have you been feeling?”
“Well, thank you. Excited to have this over with, no offense.”
Doctor Mu huffed and said, “None taken. You have been a delightful patient, but I will be pleased to give you a clean bill of health. Now, would you like your friend to stay with you?”
“If he doesn’t mind?” Luo Binghe looked at Shen Yuan who shook his head.
“I’ll stay,” he promised, resolute in his dedication to be Binghe’s support for this appointment. Luo Binghe had both been desperate and terrified to show Shen Yuan his chest, both wanting to flaunt his progress but being afraid of how his crush would react to seeing him before he was fully healed.
That wasn’t a problem anymore.
Luo Binghe squeezed Shen Yuan’s hand in thanks before releasing it and peeling back the sides of his hospital gown. He answered questions that Doctor Mu asked about how he had been feeling and any sensations he had over the past few weeks since the last appointment. He laid back against the reclined examination chair when requested and blushed as he felt Shen Yuan’s eyes on his chest.
He answered all of the prompted questions automatically as he nervously met Shen Yuan’s gaze. He was reassured by the man’s own blush and shy smile. Seeing him so affected made Binghe puff up his own chest, to the brief and embarrassing censor of Doctor Mu.
The appointment finished quickly after that, with Doctor Mu saying, “Congratulations, Luo Binghe. You have properly recovered from your surgery. If you experience any persistent…”
Luo Binghe passively tuned out the doctor-speak after that, ecstatic to reach this point with the specter of unexpected complications gone at last. When Doctor Mu stopped talking, Luo Binghe said, “Thank you, doctor. You’ve changed my life.”
He bowed his head slightly and said, “It has been my privilege to do so. Be well. Have a wonderful rest of your afternoon.”
He left them, and Luo Binghe turned to immediately hug Shen Yuan in relief. The man was startled but hugged him back. “It’s over, Yuan-ge!” Luo Binghe said. “It’s really over!”
“Yes,” Shen Yuan affirmed, squeezing him tight. “I’m so happy for you, Binghe. Come on; let’s go get some food. My treat.”
Luo Binghe pulled away and grinned at him, pleased to see him blush again. “Sounds perfect.”
He quickly dressed in his (one!) t-shirt and they walked out of the doctor’s office together. Luo Binghe felt like dancing as he breathed freely and skipped to the car. Shen Yuan laughed a little at his behavior but it was clear he was celebrating with him.
There would be more doctors appointments in the future, more opportunities for Shen Yuan to be there and hold his hand. In what capacity remained to be seen, but their relationship had all the time in the world to develop. For now, there was this moment, and he couldn’t be happier.