Work Text:
Happy had always been Natsu and Lucy’s closest friend. He knew all their secrets, except for what they did as romantic activities – he could live without any of those details. He was Natsu’s best man at their wedding, and they even allowed him to walk Natsu down the aisle to compensate for not letting him be their ring bearer (which was for its best, Happy knew, since he could be quite clumsy and carried the risk of losing the ring before the wedding could even begin).
Truly, Happy knew Natsu and Lucy like the backside of his paw and they knew him just as well. Except, for some years he had been keeping a secret. He tried not to think of it as a secret – just a situation no one wanted to discuss, so the details were simply never revealed. Though, no matter how much he tried to go around it, facts were that it was a secret. He withheld information, which wasn’t a lie in itself, but to keep said information under covers he sometimes had to create small, white lies, just to not act suspiciously. Those white lies accumulated, and now he couldn’t tell if he was just adding a small lie to the story or if he was making the first lie bigger, more complicated.
Either way, Happy couldn’t bring himself to tell them. The timing was never right, he told himself. Exactly, the timing wasn’t right – there was the thing with their confession, then missions came in the way, then they moved in together, all things which took up all their attention. It wasn’t right to disturb them then. Then Natsu already started to plan the proposal, and Happy definitely couldn’t bring it up. And then there was the wedding planning, which he couldn’t disturb even if he were born evil. And then the wedding, then the honeymoon, then the children came, a little, blonde girl with wild hair and dark brown eyes, with her little brother, light pink hair covering his head, and brown deep eyes. Happy couldn’t disturb the peace then either – all his time went to babysitting!
He told himself that these were the reasons as to why he never had the talk with them. There wasn’t time. It always came back to that reason. Timing; too little time, too hectic times, too peaceful times. But truthfully, he had always known that time was the wrong thing to rely on. He was cowardly, not considerate. Had he bitten the sour apple, just taken the leap of faith and believed that life could go on as normal after the conversation, maybe he wouldn’t be in this situation right now. But here he was.
For some years now, he, Carla and Lily had been going to the town where Exceeds resided. The reason was mainly to visit family and friends, and to keep up with their local news since their papers weren’t as reliable as they could have been. But some years ago, Happy and Carla had lost their true familial reasons to visit. See, despite being magical creatures, the lifespan of an Exceed wasn’t as long as a human’s. It shouldn’t have come as a shock - the first sign should have been when Happy “catched up” in age with Natsu, despite Natsu being roughly ten years old when he found Happy’s egg. It’s common knowledge that humans mature slower than most animals, since they have a longer lifespan on average. He could both fly and talk right out of the egg, so naturally he would be early to age as well.
Well, it did come as a shock. First Lucky, Happy’s biological dad, couldn’t fly anymore. He told Happy that there was nothing to worry about, since his work didn’t require any flight. Then the ageing signs came one after one - his fish had to be cooked tender, or his teeth would hurt, he got prescribed painkillers for pain in his joints, and some years after that, Happy could see white hairs sticking out from his normally blue coat. His father had gotten old. And along him, Marl, Happy’s mother, also slowly deteriorated. She lost her ability to fly shortly after Lucky, and then she experienced all the same signs as Lucky did. Happy made sure to take care of them best he could - he took care of living expenses when the money from their farm didn’t suffice, and he brought Wendy’s herbal remedies for their muscles and joints. He even made a wooden cane for Marl, when her balance no longer was as reliable.
But then the inevitable happened. Lucky had been in bed with a fever for a few days, and though he recovered on most medical terms, he never got his energy back. The most he could manage for a week was a trip to the bathroom, maybe two if he was, well, lucky, and then, just a couple of days later, he passed in his sleep. The grief made it hard for Happy to come visit Marl, as every object in their house reminded him of his father. They never had the classical relationship of a father and son - Lucky teaching him how to fly properly, without crashing into things, or Happy acting like a broody teenager, but they had certainly gotten close. If anything, the years apart had made their hearts grow closer, so with weekly visits, often more, they had undoubtedly become inseparable.
Of course, with Marl’s rough condition, Happy couldn’t actually bear to leave her all by herself after she lost her husband. She never had the same stamina as Lucky, so the ageing deteriorated her muscles much quicker. She was a lot clearer in her head though, so when she got bedridden she still managed to be herself. It made Happy’s time caring for her a lot easier. He had decided to move in with her so he could become her caretaker, and so she didn’t feel lonely, but he realised that in the end, it was she who made him feel happy again. She knew how to shine light over everything, make the tough stuff easier for Happy to cope with. She always told the funniest jokes, and never hurried him when he made mistakes. Fact was, she was so clear in her head, that Happy didn’t see it coming when he woke up one morning and found her on the verge of death. She lied so still, with a calm air around her. Her breaths were clearly forced, a wheezing hiss sounding with every puff. Though her blue coat was dull, she looked pretty in her nightgown, surrounded by soft floral sheets.
Happy was a little ashamed to admit that he panicked. He started running around, his legs barely holding him up, trying to find the emergency lacrima to get her to the hospital. His hands were shaking and he forgot to breathe for a second as he activated it and started sputtering nonsense to the receptionist, but it was too late.
“Happy,” Marl called out in a whisper. Her mouth didn’t seem to cooperate with her, slurring at letters she had pronounced so well just hours before.
Happy dropped the lacrima on the floor and hurried over to her. He wasn’t stupid: he knew that there wasn’t time to wait for the ambulance. His mother was here, now, and she couldn’t wait. She raised his hand and carefully cupped his face. The action was strenuous, so Happy grabbed her hand and held it in place on his cheek. He was already crying, seeing her tired, glazed eyes.
“My little boy has gotten so big.” A single tear ran down her cheek.
“M-mom…” Happy’s voice cracked, but it was barely noticeable compared to the death rattle that filled the small bedroom. Marl’s hand went cold. The silence was short, but deafening. Happy cried like he never had before, wailing in denial. He didn’t want her to die, he wanted to hear more of her stories, more of her jokes, and more than anything he wanted more time.
It always came back to that phrase, didn’t it? More time. It was easy in hindsight to say he should have used the time he had wisely, rather than wishing for more. Even back then, as he was dealing with Marl’s funeral, he knew he should have faced the cold hard truth and discussed it with Natsu and Lucy. He should have prepared them for his own death. But he couldn’t. Once again, the timing wasn’t right. He had too much to think about, he told himself and kept quiet.
Though life went on like normal, Happy could recall his first signs of ageing. Natsu and Lucy had gotten their first grey hairs, but since Exceeds were a type of cat species, he knew he wouldn’t get them for a long time. No, he noticed how he couldn’t move around like usual. He wasn’t as flexible as before, and now the jobs made him strain himself more easily. He had talked to Lily about it at the time, and he told Happy that it wasn’t something to worry about - they were just growing older.
Then he noticed that his teeth were hurting. He normally took good care of them, but the many years from eating burnt fish and chomping down on fish bones, had taken its toll. And then his magical stamina started wearing down. He couldn’t keep his wings for more than 10 minutes, and those minutes were rapidly getting fewer. That meant straining his body even more, and at that point he moved back in with Natsu and Lucy. It felt nice to be back there, to be in the middle of a messy but loving family.
The last sign was a recent one. He had been making his way home from the guild, and suddenly felt lost. It was honestly scary, because he didn’t recognise the buildings around the river, and he couldn’t understand why his body was aching and why he didn’t have the energy to fly. So all he could do was to cry for help. Not even 30 minutes later, Natsu came for his rescue. Except, he looked too old to be his Natsu. His pink hair was dull, he had lines on his forehead and around his mouth, and there was a stubble growing on his chin. He looked like he could be Natsu’s father.
A few days later, Wendy explained to Happy that he had a spell of disorientation. He knew it was Wendy’s way of telling him he showed signs of dementia, because she then went on to explain that he had been walking on Strawberry lane, the street where Lucy’s old apartment had been before they renovated the buildings, but that Happy couldn’t localise himself in that state, so he panicked. She said it was only natural, and that it wasn’t uncommon to walk back to old places out of muscle memory, but Happy understood that it wasn’t just muscle memory. He had experienced muscle memory before, like when the fish market moved a block and he went too far. The difference was that he had caught on quickly, laughed at his silly behaviour, and then gone to the correct place.
So, with that recent experience, Happy had to make a choice. He could tell Natsu and Lucy that the time was near, and that there was nothing anyone could do, but to cherish the last time together, or he could do what his instincts were telling him. That would be to hide away, not only to keep himself safe from any dangers that might be around, but to also keep the Dragneel-Heartfilia family safe. Though his Exceed-brain told him that he wasn’t sick - he was just old, at the end of his journey, his cat-influenced brain told him that his weakness could be due to sickness, so he had to distance himself from the ones he cared about. His pack.
***
Natsu and Lucy should have seen it coming. Or, they thought so at least. They had seen Lucky and Marl during their last months alive, and they were aware of the signs – at the end they could only boil it down to them not wanting to see them. Especially with the last week fresh in mind - Happy had been close to bedbound, though he didn’t want them to notice. Lucy saw how hard he tried to pick at things at home, picking up various dirty socks and trying to keep clean, but she also saw how often he had to take breaks. It was harder without his wings, it was clear as day. He had been accustomed to his wings his entire life, never even knowing a time when he could walk but couldn’t fly. Luckily Natsu had been quick to build staircases with railing up to the couch, the bed, the kitchen table, and other necessary places. Most staircases were quite heavy for Happy’s decreased muscle mass, but he made sure to keep a couple of lightweight ones around the house so Happy could go wherever he needed to.
Yes, both Natsu and Lucy had seen the signs, but refused to see them as THE signs. It was late in September when they one day didn’t find him anywhere. They had been up early, buying some groceries at the market. Natsu was almost certain he had felt Happy’s weight on his feet as he woke up, but he couldn’t remember actually looking at him, checking in on him. Lucy, who usually would pride herself on her perceptiveness, couldn’t remember either if she had seen him that morning. In fact, they only noticed he was missing at lunch time, because not even an old, demented Happy would miss his lunch. Immediate worry struck them both, and as they searched around the house, turning upside down on every possible sleeping spot as well as high-risk falling spot, Lucy caught Natsu in her arms, holding him down to stop his searching for just a second.
“Natsu, wait!” She said, trying to catch his eyes and through them his attention. “Hey, would you look at me? We will find him, alright.”
Natsu let out a shaky breath as she spoke to him.
“How about you calm down, close your eyes and breathe. Focus on finding his smell,” Lucy instructed, slowly massaging Natsu’s shoulders. She knew her brave facade wasn’t fooling him - her heart was pounding harder than it had in a long time, for she was worried sick of what could have happened. Hopefully he was only a few minutes into a dementia-spell, because if that was the case she and Natsu could coerce him to go home with them. Worst case… No, she didn’t want to think about it. Happy would be okay.
“I… I think I can smell him,” Natsu slowly said, concentrating on where his scent lingered the strongest. “I think he went out.”
Lucy was quick to get their coats and shoes, and soon they were outside, following the way Natsu’s nose led them. When they headed towards the woods they felt their feet hurry – no good awaited a defenceless cat in this landscape. No one knew what could be lurking in the shadows.
“Lucy… Something’s wrong.” Natsu had stopped walking. “It’s like…” He couldn’t finish his sentence. Lucy couldn’t say anything back. She just shook her head in disbelief. After a minute Natsu started walking again, slower this time, really trying to track down the exact position of his old pal.
It was Lucy who found Happy at the end. She had almost stepped on him, as he had curled in under a patch of moss. It was her sob that got Natsu’s attention. When she removed the moss, Natsu saw him clearly. Small, almost a bit boney from not getting much food when his teeth failed him, lying in a perfect, blue circle. He looked peaceful, but the lack of a heartbeat made Natsu’s ears ring. They broke down for quite a long time, not even having the courage to pet their deceased friend. They could only cling to each other, what they had left, and cry.
For many years, Natsu could only go to Happy’s grave in silence. To speak so close to his resting place would be too hard – wrong, in a sense. He had been buried at their fishing spot, and once a week Natsu would find time to sit there, casting his line. He liked to think that Happy was sitting beside him, casting his own ghostly line, and Natsu held many conversations with him in his head. Sometimes Lucy would join them. She always came with flowers, and when she thought Natsu was too busy with a caught fish, she would whisper to the headstone about their week. They would always cherish the time they were three.