Chapter Text
In celebration of discovering her name, Starkk and Tier had requested that she join them all for dinner the following day. It was to be a much more relaxed affair, just good food and (hopefully) good company; a chance to get to know them all in a much more relaxed, personable setting, with the promise that Nnoitra would be muzzled. She found herself looking forward to it as she stood in front of the full-length mirror in her bedroom, looking over her appearance, and wrapping her head around the piece of her that she had looked for so hard.
She had known she had a name.
There were times she thought she knew it, but it slipped away before she could speak it.
But now...
Now...as she again whispered it to herself, it settled over her like a veil of protection, and the more she said it, the more that armor hardened and she was sure that it was indeed correct.
“Kaida...my name is Kaida...I'm Kaida Matsumoto, Liuetenant of Squad Ten.”
“I like it. It suits you.”
She turned to give her studious companion a small smile. Allain sat in the embroidered straight back chair that stood guard in the far corner of her room, a sketch book open in his lap as he tapped his chin thoughtfully with a pencil. Jaeger nodded in agreement; he was leaning on her bedroom door jamb, hands in his pockets with an easy slouch in his shoulders. He was allowed to escort her down to the dining hall, as the kids had been encouraged to attend, and was very much looking forward to being able to leave the tower, even if it was just for a group dinner.
“You're fierce like a dragon,” the blue-haired Arrancar said with a grin.
Kaida blushed a little, turning back to her visage.
Kaida.
She was Kaida.
She gave herself a smile as she worked on finishing pinning her hair up into a tight bun.
News that her name had been discovered was quickly spread through the ranks of the counsel and the staff. She was suddenly Kaida, instead of Ms. Reaper and the like. It had been a little overwhelming at first, Allain having to curb some of the pointed addresses from the staff at times as they took their daily walk earlier that day. She had already met with Starkk and Tier to be given their congratulations on finally having a name, and she had gone to tower four to see Orihime, who had been confined to hers and Ulquiorra's bed for the past day, not having the energy to move much unassisted outside of their quarters. The ever-cheerful woman was ecstatic to hear the good news, and had to be calmed several times by her husband, who sat on the bed next to her, a hand placed gingerly on her knee.
Unfortunately, no one seemed to know what her blade's name was. The dragonfly spirit that lived within it was thrilled when she regained her identity, but quickly sobered when its own didn't return with it. That was something that they were going to work on next; Starkk, when she had gone to see him that morning with Allain, had mentioned that they were going to let her use the training arena, providing she was supervised by one or more of the counsel, both for her safety and theirs.
She mused this over while sliding the last hair pin into place, securing her silky long hair firmly into its bun. They were still jumpy around her, something that was attributed to the history between Soul Reapers and Hollows, but she wasn't given any other information beyond that. She supposed they had their reasons, but she was fairly sure that judging from their previous reactions to her, they weren't good ones. Perhaps that was something she hoped she would find out soon, though she was pretty sure she was going to have to purposefully ask about it.
Regardless, she pushed the questions away again. Today was supposed to be a fun day.
The seamstresses had set to work at Nel's and Orihime's insistance, and they hadn't disappointed. Kaida about fainted when a team of three female Arrancar showed up at her door, each carrying numerous garment bags and boxes full of a whole wardrobe's selection of clothes. A fourth, a cobbler with a towering stack of shoe boxes, had come in after them, setting his cargo onto her kitchen counter with a smile of pride.
They had all stayed for a long time as she went through what they had made for her, delighted by her reactions to receiving such an abundance of gifts. It seemed like they had listened to her answers very closely, as each had quizzed her very hard on what her tastes were as they took her measurements; what she found comfortable, what she found best to sleep in, and what she would consider casual formal versus traditional formal, and what she thought would be good to spar in. What arrived in those boxes was simply just amazing, and she had loved every single thing the seamstress team and their cobbler companion had made for her.
She had chosen a pair of black, close-fitting pants and a matching black, long sleeved shirt with the shoulders cut out. The outfit was completed with a pair of soft, black leather ankle boots that Nix obviously had some say in. They were delicate but sturdy, stitched together with tough silver colored thread with the toes encased in an inner layer of steel. They clicked softly against the white stone under her feet as she went to grab her zanpakuto leaning against the wall next to Jaeger, now accompanied by a brand new sword belt embroidered with flowers and vines that matched the ones on its sheath. Kaida buckled it firmly around her waist, and took one more look at herself in the mirror.
She turned to face her companions with a confident smile, hands on her hips.
Allain hummed in approval, giving her appearance a nod. Jaeger turned his head and cleared his throat, mumbling something about her outfit being 'acceptable'.
“All right then guys. Ready when you are.”
Tonight's dinner was to be held in the old dining hall. Jaeger took Kaida's right as Allain took her left as they walked down the long hallways, Allain only having to speed up a little to keep up with their longer strides. When they reached the tall double doors, Jaeger paused before pushing them open, giving her a grin.
“Brace yourself. When Lord Starkk says 'relaxed', he means it.”
When she nodded with a curious look, he and Allain exchanged their own looks before Jaeger pushed the doors open.
It took her a moment to register what exactly was happening.
At the head of the table, Starkk and Tier seemed to be in a rather focused and civilized discussion, ignoring the argument happening right next to them. Nnoitra and Szayelaporro were locked in a growling match over something to do with Szayel's lab and how it wasn't Nnoitra's personal crash spot whenever he needed one.
“She's YOUR daughter, Gilga! Deal with her!”
“I HAVE dealt with her! She just doesn't fuckin' LISTEN!”
“Well, it must run in the family, because neither do you! Pack your shit up and GET OUT OF MY LAB!”
“Will you two SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY?!” There was a younger looking girl with greenish blond hair next to Starkk, clearly fed up with having to listen to the argument. Unfortunately for the girl -Kaida remembered Starkk introducing her as Lillynette, his literal other half- she was ignored, and her voice only mixed in between Nnoitra's and Szayel's, becoming quite the racket.
Nnoitra and Szayel were sitting across from each other, which didn't make things any better. Nnala was pointedly missing with the empty chair next to Nnoitra, but Yylfordt was sitting next to his brother, happily engrossed in a large sheet of paper and several different colored pens, oblivious to the argument. A picture of a nasty, drooling Hollow was forming under the child's careful hand, drawn mostly in pink, but with a goodly amount of purple and yellow too.
Then there was Nelliel, Nix, next to Yylfordt, and Orihime, who were chatting as if the verbal argument of the century wasn't happening right beside them. Ulquiorra was sitting next to Orihime, silent, trying to ignore the fact that Grimmjow, who was across from him next to Nel, was reclining in his chair with his booted feet propped up on the table. Nel was shooting him dirty looks, frowning at said feet, which Grimmjow was artfully ignoring, picking his teeth with a fingernail.
As she watched, Ulquiorra finally rose from his chair, reached over the table, and gave his blue-haired companion's feet a good shove off of it. Grimmjow scowled and straightened up, getting out of his chair and baring his teeth at his smaller counterpart. But, his snarl was cut short when Nelliel calmly reached over, grabbed the back of his jacket, and jerked him back down into his seat. He gave her a sputtering string of curses, to which she merely held a hand up to, telling him to back off or she would have to deal with him.
He settled back into his chair with a grumble, crossing his arms and glaring at Ulquiorra, who gave Nel a nod. She returned it with a smile, and it was right back to her conversation with her daughter and Orihime, who just shook their heads at the whole thing.
Kaida covered her mouth with her hands, trying to choke the giggle off before it could escape, but failed. It caught Grimmjow's attention; he shot her a piece of that glare. He didn't say anything, but Nel probably told him to stay quiet or else. That thought made her laugh again, which caused him to huff and cross his arms, now pointedly ignoring her.
The parallels between Jaeger and his father were astonishingly close, she decided.
Starkk looked over at the trio as they approached the long white table and got to his feet, giving them a kind smile.
“Kaida, welcome. I apologize for the chaos you walked into, but we just could not bring ourselves to repeat our first meeting with you as a whole.”
“Speak for yourself,” Nnoitra grumbled. Nel reached over the empty chair and slapped him upside his head, which caused him to shoot her a deadly glare that she shrugged off with a miffed sniff. He made to raise a fist towards her, but Grimmjow, on Nel's other side, gave a low warning growl that made the lanky, slimy man scowl and drop his threat.
Kaida looked to the grey-eyed man with a smile of her own, feeling the energies surrounding her at a much more relaxed state than they were the first time. Even Nnoitra's seemed subdued, even as he sat in his chair with a deep, loathing glare fixated onto the table in front of him.
“This is more like how it usually is,” Tier offered, nodding to the motley group before her. “In case you decided that we are too much like how the captains behave.”
“I wasn't sure what to expect, but I definitely like this a lot more!”
Nnoitra rolled his eyes and Grimmjow muttered something that made Nel slap him this time, and both seemed to settle into their individual miseries after that.
“Girl, good choices,” Nix exclaimed, giving her outfit a nod of approval. “How do those boots feel?”
“Really well! They fit perfectly!”
Nix grinned, pleased.
“I told you Johann does exceptional work!”
“I'm glad you decided to join us,” Orihime said, giving her a smile of her own. Kaida couldn't help but notice how tired her eyes were, despite the woman's cheery face. It was the first time she had been out of bed in a while, though it didn't seem to dampen her mood at all. “The cooks outdid themselves. It's almost like it's someone's birthday!” Then, she gasped, as if something just occurred to her. “Oh! Do you remember when your birthday is, Kaida?”
Birthday? Kaida gave it some thought as Allain pulled the chair at the very end of the table out for her, and then took his seat next to his father. Jaeger, ears perked for her response, dropped down into the empty one next to Grimmjow. When was her birthday? Hm...
If it helps, I believe it's just after winter is over, the voice from her blade said thoughtfully. April, perhaps? Yes...when the birds return and the flowers bloom.
“In the spring, we think,” Kaida replied, giving her zanpakuto a gentle tap as she sat down. “In April, with the first flowers.”
“We'll have to keep that in mind,” Nelliel said with a wink. “Orihime insisted on celebrating our birthdays almost from the beginning of her residency here, and it's become quite the big deal!”
“Let us know if you remember the exact date,” Tier added. “We'll make sure you get a party. We may not get a proper springtime in Hueco Mundo, but we still keep track of time.”
Kaida blushed a little, and then Starkk called for dinner to be served.
She wasn't sure how such a desolate place could produce such good food, but she had been very pleasantly surprised when the dining staff brought out platter after platter of everything from roasted root vegetables and huge slices of what looked like a rich, dark venison and crispy skinned poultry. (She knew better, though, and quickly learned to not question it. The Hueco Mundo versions of 'game' animals were quite...different, than what she was used to.) Steaming pots of coffee and tea were also produced, along with large jugs of wine and water. Thick gravies for their version of mashed potatoes and parsnips, a couple big bowls that were filled with a fluffy salad tossed with slightly paler tomatoes and peppers than her 'normal', and several different types of dressings that went with it.
There was so much food that Kaida wasn't sure where to start. A friendly member of the dining staff offered to help her, but Jaeger gave him a shake of his head.
“Nah, thanks Marcone. We got it.”
“As you wish, Master Jaeger.” 'Marcone', an Arrancar with half of his face hidden by a blank mask with a single slitted eye, gave Jaeger a dip of his head and left to finish helping the rest set the table.
Between Jaeger and Allain, who were very helpful in describing everything and figuring what she was going to like, Kaida was soon laughing over their attempts to heap her plate like theirs were. Both Yylfordt and Lillynette called down to her as well, encouraging her to try their respective favorites, and Orihime was doing much the same, explaining how they managed to recreate some of her own favorite foods from the meats and veggies grown in Las Noches.
Nnoitra and Szayelaporro made it a point to avoid conversation with each other; Nnoitra scowled a lot and kept to himself, giving his plate a glower that would probably kill the slices of meat on it again if it could. Szayelaporro was trying to keep up with Yylfordt's ability to inhale food with reckless abandon, insisting the boy slow down before he made himself sick. Yylfordt, of course, seemed to only listen with half an ear, only slowing down his pace marginally while he reached for yet another spoonful of pale colored candied carrots. Nix helped the best she could, laughing at Szayel's expressions and reminding Yylfordt that there was dessert after, and that he should leave some room for cake.
This seemed to finally register, and the boy gave her a sticky, eager grin at the mention of sweets.
After much dessert was eaten, Nnoitra left with a curt nod towards Orihime, who returned it with a small smile. Kaida watched this with interest, and asked the human woman about it when Nnoitra was safely out of earshot.
“Nnoitra? Well, I'll admit, he took the longest, but I did finally crack that thick skin of his. He has a language of his own, and it's a hard one to learn. Aizen really did a number on his brain.”
That wasn't the first time Kaida had heard that name, she was sure of it.
“Who was this Aizen?”
Her question silenced the table. Grimmjow grunted after a moment, straightening up from his resumed lounging across his chair, feet back up on the table. He turned to fix her with an intense look that succeeded in sending a chill down her spine.
“Aizen was our boogyman, kiddo,” he said, his lip lifted like he bit into something bitter. “He made us like toys, and threw us away when we got broken.”
“As crude as that sounds, that is essentially it,” Szayel added quietly. “He came to Hueco Mundo once upon a time and gave us promises of whatever we wanted.”
“He was the mean guy, right big bro?” Yylfordt had returned to his drawing, but now looked up at his brother with a furrowed brow. Szayel sighed, and nodded.
“Yes, Yylfordt. The mean guy.”
“A wolf in sheep's clothing,” Tier said bitterly, crossing her arms. Starkk reached over to her arm and gave it a gentle squeeze, Lillynette silent on the matter.
“We were not made as toys, but rather instruments of war.” Eyes turned to Ulquiorra, who had remained mostly quiet all throughout dinner. “We were weapons made to destroy things. Aizen twisted our very psyches into the worst versions of ourselves to suit his needs, and forced our loyalty even when he would cut us down.” His words took on a sharp edge, and Allain looked to his father with a tight, sympathetic gaze.
“He wasn't another Arrancar, was he?” She somehow already knew that answer, though.
Tsk. “Fuck no. He was a Soul Reaper. Stole the throne from our own king and built Las Noches using slave labor. Slaves he created using that fucking gem of his.” Grimmjow's growling tone was low, menacing.
Kaida felt her heart still. So...that would explain why she faced hostility from some of the Arrancar that resided in Las Noches.
A whisper came to her just then, one from a voice that immediately seemed familiar but yet, so far away.
We never shoulda done it. Understand that I never wanted to do it, and it never shoulda happened. But it did, an' now I'm payin' the price for it. It was a miracle that my life was spared; I shoulda died the day I tried to stop him. If it weren't for that human girl, I fear what woulda happened had he succeeded...
The fork she had been holding dropped to her dessert plate, and she suddenly couldn't breath.
That voice.
She knew that voice.
It belonged to...
She was small, too small to reach the top of her father's bookcase where he kept his sweets. Which was fine; she knew how to climb to get to them. She pushed his desk chair over to the towering wooden case full of books and keepsakes, remnants of a life long since passed, and clambered up into it. It squeaked a little when she stood up, her head now barely level with the bottom of the long shadow box containing a sword, hanging above a heavy cabinet with a lock on its doors. There was a lock on the box too, and a stern warning from her father to never touch it unless it was an emergency and he couldn't get to it. She took great care to not even brush against the box as she stepped over onto the top of the cabinet, careful to not knock over any of the antiques he had collected for himself that cluttered the top of it, and then slowly, oh so carefully, she worked her foot and hand over onto the front of the bookcase until she was now standing on a shelf, her heels hanging over the edge.
Testing her grip and finding it suitable, up she went.
The shelves were just close enough for her legs to reach, and as long as she was careful and took it slowly, she knew that the very top was sturdy enough to hold her weight so she could perch next to the jar full of the coveted candied, dried persimmons.
She was almost to the top when she paused her ascent, cocking her head in puzzlement when her eyes came upon pictures she had never seen before.
Her father must have done some rearranging of his shelves before her and her mother came for their monthly visit and forgot to put them away. This shelf, probably not really noticeable from the floor unless you were really tall (which she was not), was now littered with photographs of an unfamiliar place. All white walls and white...well, everything. She wrinkled her nose; how boring! No color at all! Then her eyes found one of a black sky with a crescent moon hanging over white sand dunes. The little girl found herself drawn to it, and before she knew it, she was reaching for it, but when she got a hold of it, her vision suddenly went swimmy and a wave of dizziness overcame her.
The grip of her other hand slipped.
Not a sound came from her mouth.
But, she felt her stomach jump up into her throat when she realized she was falling.
“KAIDA!”
Her breath left her when she fell into strong arms that immediately pulled her close, and hugged her tightly to a chest covered in a pale blue button up shirt. It took a moment for her to be able to register the man who caught her, as out of breath and panicked he was.
“Kaida, what are you doin'?”
She blinked, and her father's face came into focus. Guilt immediately overcame her, and she burst into tears.
“I'm sorry, Daddy! I wanted 'simmons an' I slipped! I wasn't gonna eat 'em all, I promise!”
Daddy -Mama called him by his name but she called him Daddy and that was just fine with him- glanced at the top of the bookcase and sighed, looking back down at the girl in his arms. But, he noticed that she still held the photograph in her hand, and his mouth thinned.
“Kaida, where did you get that?” he asked softly. She pointed to the shelf far above her. He looked to that shelf too, and shook his head. “I need that back, please.”
“Okay,” she said tearfully, handing it over to him. “What place has a black sky like that, Daddy?”
“Somewhere you're not ever going to have to worry about, my brave little dragon. Now lets get those persimmons, hm? We'll share and not tell Mama we ate them all. It'll be our secret.”
“O-KAY!” she exclaimed, her tears instantly gone. Her dad wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, reached up and grabbed the jar off the top of the book case, and they sat at his desk, eating dried, candied persimmons as he told her a silly story about how he once helped tame a really big cat with really big claws and blue fur, and taught it to do neat tricks for treats.
“How are her vitals?”
“Fine. Her reiatsu seems to have settled down as well. She must have had a strong memory came to her; it caused a spike in her spiritual pressure similar to the stress response on one's blood pressure. Allain mentioned something similar happening the other day as well.”
“Only this time she's not waking up right away.”
“No, but I'm starting to suspect that the third presence within her is proving my theory: That her memory loss wasn't Kurotsuchi's doing, but rather a defense mechanism.”
“How so?”
“It didn't want us to know it's there, so it's hiding itself. That's why it didn't spike on the initial read-outs I ran. It's either stronger than we are, or we are stronger than it is.”
“Considering the circumstances, I'm going to go with the former.”
“I as well. I've never encountered anything like this, Starkk! It's fascinating, don't you think?”
“Don't get too far ahead of yourself, Szayel. We don't know anything for sure yet.”
“Perhaps it is time we ask Kisuke Urahara for his interpretation. He and Yoruichi Shihoin asked to meet with our young visitor during our visit to the shop. He may see something we cannot.”
“Not a bad idea, Ulquiorra. I'll go give him a ring, an' see what he says.”
Her inner world was quiet. A sort of night had fallen; the sky was still blue, just much darker and fuzzy somehow. The sunlight was gone, replaced with a dull moonshine from behind a bank of clouds. The darkness that had hovered around the distant parts of the forest felt closer, and from it, a chilly breeze swept out into the meadow, rustling through the tops of the flowers and grasses.
Kaida stood in the middle, looking around her for her dragonfly, and unsure of how she had ended up there as she didn't remember entering meditation. A soft chorus of buzzing and chirping from the nighttime insects around her were the only signs of life. Perhaps the great insect was asleep. Before she could prepare to slip back to wakefulness, she became very aware of an odd sensation just then. It washed over her like a light caress that she felt deep within her very core as a fuzzy pulse, and with it came a chilling, biting shiver that made her skin crawl.
She gasped, her breath catching in her throat, suddenly feeling as though something was watching her. It happened again, that shivering pulse, and she whirled around to face the direction it came from.
There.
Just beyond the treeline.
The shadows were deeper there. How she knew that, she wasn't sure, but a feeling of cold dread suddenly clenched tightly in her stomach and she tasted bile even as she set her teeth and squared her shoulders. Her feet shifted to firmer footing, her body dropped into a ready stance, and she bared her teeth even as a third pulse sighed over her slim frame.
“Whatever you are, I'm sure you don't belong here,” she said, surprising herself with how steady her voice was.
The air around her suddenly vibrated and the sleepy buzzing stopped altogether, plunging the meadow into the silence of prey hiding from the predator.
“You are correct...” a barest whisper came from those deep shadows, and Kaida felt sweat break out across her forehead. The pressure of the pulses sharply increased, and she clutched her chest, feeling like her lungs were about to collapse with the weight of its reiatsu. “But everything must have a balance child, and I am yours.”
The shadows seemed to move, and a hollow whisper of sound reached her as they condensed into...something.
Her eyes widened.
And then she felt it take in a deep breath, and with it, her reiatsu. It drank it down like water, thirsty for it, craving it, inhaling it like it needed it to survive. Kaida felt it pull away from her, and she wanted to call out, to scream, to cry in fear, but she was paralyzed as this THING drank down her very essence.
It paused after a moment, and she swore its shape was a little more defined now.
She felt it regard her as she collapsed to the ground, her heart pounding and body trembling and weak.
“Now is the time to learn your end of the balance, child of fate. Now, you must claim what is yours to wield.”
…
...
“Now...you must learn how to fix what is broken.”
And suddenly, she was awake, lying in a tightly curled ball on a medical gurney.
Her heart was still pounding.
Her head felt like it was splitting apart.
The vines and flowers etched into the skin of her arms burned.
Her mask felt blazing hot, and then searing cold.
And she felt weak.
So...
Very...
Weak...