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I.
They had been sent together on a mission on a tiny planet close to the Outer Rim to try and intercept the shady people who had dispatched weapons and money to the First Order back when it had started its ascent. Not that getting to these people now would damage in any way the First Order, but they potentially had a huge amount of intel that could help find weaknesses to exploit.
Poe, being the awesome pilot he was, had of course warned Finn that some last minute changes to the plan might still occur, but he had had no answer to this and so had gone on, trying to locate someone important and relevant to talk to.
He had dragged Finn in a cantina and had sat a blue Twi’lek offering her a drink, trying to get some information out of the woman. Finn hadn’t said a word for a while, watching Poe work his charm like it was magic and noticing the small changes in the Twi’lek’s body language as they kept chatting. Half an hour later, the woman had said nothing at all, and as the time dragged towards another quarter of hour, Finn lost his calm and placed his palms on the table.
“Listen, mate, I love a good chat as much as you do, but time’s flying, and we can’t be here all night,” he started and, as soon as Poe placed a hand on his arm, he stopped. The pilot had a panicked look in his eyes, but pushed his luck with the Twi’lek, riding the occasion Finn had given him.
Thirty seconds later they were running in a labyrinth of alleys and narrow streets, away from the blaster shoots that had started being exploded in the cantina.
“I fucked up, I fucked up. I’m sorry!” Finn breathed, turning a corner from a small street into a smaller one.
Poe leaned from the corner and tried to check if they were still being followed.
“They’re too close, Finn, we can’t outrun them,” he said, peacefully, as if he wasn’t just announcing their imminent death, “just follow my lead and don’t question anything, right?” he asked, stripping from his jacket and tossing it to the ground.
Finn nodded, dead worried of what his pilot could do.
Poe then proceeded to pin him to the wall and to kiss him breathless, pressing his whole body onto his, until they adhered to each other from their chest to their knees. Finn instinctively kissed the pilot back, without thinking anything at all, without letting his mind wander. It was rough and merciless, complete with teeth and hands and everything that Finn had never expected from such a warning.
Poe broke the kiss off and tentatively watched around the corner, his breath was still heavy and his face was flushed.
“Let’s go, they didn’t notice us,” he ordered, picking up his jacket from the ground.
So that was it , Finn understood, a distraction for the smugglers who were looking for them. Finn forced himself to forget everything about that kiss, from the grasp of Poe’s hands on his thighs to the softness in his lips. They quickly made it back to the ship and travelled back to the base.
“Buddy, that was close, eh?” Poe commented, while they were flying home.
“Too close,” he answered, but he was thinking about something else.
II.
This time it was no mission. Poe had just gone back on Yavin 4 to visit some relatives and old friends and Finn had seen so little of the world, he had practically begged the pilot to bring him along.
“Sure, man, I can always use some company,” he had smiled and, gosh, that smile had possibly reminded Finn of the Twi’lek adventure. Possibly.
Yavin 4 was beautiful, Finn decided, as soon as they landed. It was different from any other place he had visited, it was hot, almost like on Jakku, but it was more humid and it was full of woods and forests and Poe was telling him it was more desert-looking in other parts, and he was just liking it so much he could be on the verge of electing to stay there for three months to visit it completely and thoroughly.
Poe brought him to is old house, where no one lived anymore, just to show him where he’d grown up, and then they decided they’d sleep there.
"We'll finish unpacking and then we are going to a party I got invited to, would you like that?" Poe asked, warming Finn's heart again with the question. He still enjoyed the feeling of being asked his opinion.
"I'd love to!" he shot back.
The party was crowded and loud, and Finn had never gone to one outside those on the Resistance base that were held once in a while. But those had little to do with what he was currently caught in. Here, on Yavin 4, there was louder music, louder people and more alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. And a bunch of lads who probably shouldn't have drunk that much.
The drums of a catchy song were pounding in Finn's ears, and he had lost Poe, who'd probably gone to talk to someone he knew - he knew almost everyone, it appeared.
"Hey, boy, I've never seen you here," a girl approached him, an easy smile and a half-unbuttoned shirt.
"I've never been here before, in fact," Finn shouted over the noise to answer.
"Cool! How did you get in, then?" she shifted close and Finn knew, he just knew, that she wouldn't be easy to get rid of.
"Poe, uhm, Poe Dameron got me in," he simply said, hoping the mention of his friend would move the discussion to other topics.
"You a pilot?".
"No, but Poe is," and why was he talking about him, now? Probably because "no, but I was a stormtrooper, then I helped a man and now I am scared to learn to fly" wasn't as good as an answer.
"Do you want to dance?" she then asked, biting her lower lip, seductively. "I can't, I'm sorry. I suck at dancing," he blabbered, incoherently, and Finn wished he knew how to get out of this without sounding rude.
He spotted Poe walking towards them and he smiled at the pilot.
"Is he your friend?" the girl asked, with a sour note in her tone. Finn hoped Poe noticed how uncomfortable he was with her.
"Boyfriend, actually".
Poe's words surprised Finn more than the girl and when he turned around he found Poe smiling brightly at him.
"Sorry, love, I've been gone for too long, but I see you have good company... want me to go and grab something to drink?" the pilot offered, a playful smile on his lips that turned into a full-on laughter when he met Finn's desperate eyes. He brought a hand to cup Finn's cheek. Quickly he kissed him softly on the lips.
The girl winced on Finn's side and Poe grinned, hesitantly light on Finn's lips. Then he deepened the kiss, sliding his other arm around Finn's shoulders for balance.
When they parted, the girl had moved away a bit.
"So, drinks?".
Finn had felt the impulse to kiss him again. He just thanked him, and not for the drinks.
III.
Despite having been on D’Qar for months, Finn had still to get used to the fact that he had, in fact, escaped the First Order and had acquired the faculty to decide about his life as much as he pleased.
What he liked most about this was the fact that he could refuse to go on missions he didn’t deem safe for himself, and that he could ask his new friends not to go as well. Not that he actually believed Rey would listen to him, that girl was pure energy and she couldn’t say no to what General Organa asked of her, given the admiration the young Jedi had for the woman.
Finn didn’t believe, either, that he could stop Poe from going on rescue missions that inevitably turned into space shootings, the man was too much of an adrenaline junkie.
When both of them were gone at the same time, though, and Finn was still on the base, the past came back to haunt him. His sleeps were filled with nightmares where the Knights of Ren captured him and tortured him until he just wished he could die, and then they refused to kill him and, instead, forced him to watch his friends suffer his same treatment. What hurt more about this was that he knew that Rey and Poe had both already experienced the horror of that kind of torture.
When Rey was there, she would sense - her weird Jedi training had had some use, after all - that he was having nightmares and she would go and sleep next to him, when she wasn’t there, he would get up and knock on Poe’s door and accept whatever the pilot offered him, whether it was alcohol, a hug, or a place in his bed.
But now that none of them was there it was harder, and so Finn silently slipped in Poe’s quarters and fell asleep in his bed, praying that the different smell and the different place would keep the nightmares away.
It failed so hard. He dreamed that they had gotten there, white uniforms and blasters in their hands, and they’d gotten the General, and killed her, and immediately after they’d tried to get Rey, but she had fought them off until they had struck Skywalker down and she had been too desperate to keep fighting, and then they’d proceeded to stop Poe from reaching his X-Wing, but he had just extracted his own blaster and aimed it to his head. “You won’t take me again,” he had shouted and then he had shot.
“Finn, Finn! ” the strong grasp of hands on his shoulders made him realize he had been screaming for a long while. He managed to focus on who was holding him and seeing Poe there, with a scratch on his temple that was still bleeding, and deep dark circles around his eyes, just made his chest ache even more. Poe had just died and he was seeing him, now? He didn’t realize he had started screaming again, incoherent stuff like “You’re dead, why are you here. You just died”, before Poe’s lips were on his once again, a quick, consequenceless, press.
“I’m very much alive, thank you. And you should probably go back to sleep, buddy,” the pilot whispered, but Finn noticed he was trembling. “You were screaming like they were killing you right now, man, it’s heart breaking. Makes me never want to leave again…” he half joked, starting to undress.
Yes, don’t ever leave again. Kiss me, instead.
IV.
General Organa had said “this mission will require some acting skills”, while giving details to Poe, Finn and Rey, and then she’d said that they would have to pretend they were a married couple and a relative of said couple, visiting another relative yet on that huge planet just out of the Outer Rim, where she was sending them to retrieve something one of their scouts had found before dying.
Finn had thought he would be safe, playing the role of the cousin of fifth grade to one of his friends. He was the worse of the three of them at masking his feelings, let alone try and fake them, or risk something convincing the local authorities he was married to Rey. Nah, it also made more sense that she faked being married to Poe, it would have been weird having such an handsome man as “just the cousin”.
So, he hadn’t thought much about it.
When they were close to landing, though, Rey elected to speak. “So, guys. How are you going to make the local guards believe you’re married?”.
Finn turned towards her, “What are you talking about? You’re going to be Poe’s wife, that is settled”.
Rey laughed and she tried to look at Poe for help, but the pilot was focused on doing something to his droid. “Okay, no,” the girl stated, “I’m a Jedi. I can’t marry anyone, they’ll see us through!”.
“Not if you pretend not to be a Jedi, Rey! Or you want to tell me you’re not able to do that? You could even mind trick people into believing that you two have three beautiful children at home. Come on!” Finn objected vehemently, and noticed Poe’s amused stare.
“I just cannot mind trick people if it’s not necessary, and you perfectly know it. And I’m a bad actress, I can’t fake not being what I am,” she had spoken with a reasonable tone in her voice that only meant she thought she had settled the matter once and for all.
“I’m even worse than you-”
“Finn, you know she’s right,” Poe cut in, sending BB-8 away, with a small gesture, “It would be an ulterior risk having her pretending to be my wife. If by any chance someone were to know she’s a Jedi, how could we explain that without ruining our cover? If she’s just pretending to be my cousin, on the other hand… who wouldn’t want a Jedi as a cousin?”.
Finn just stared at him in resignation. What could he even say if Poe and Rey agreed on something?
“Fine. But you do the talking and I just stand back and get the fun of seeing you arguing with the security”. Poe flashed him his cocky smile and Finn had to force himself not to smile back. He was pretty sure he heard Rey snickering.
Finn had been waiting with Rey for a while, waiting for Poe to come back with Visas for the three of them. The local guards were taking too long to approve their stay on that planet.
“Do you think he’s fine?” he asked, after a few other minutes had passed.
“Of course he’s fine. Try not to get over worried about your husband,” Rey had answered, having too much fun for her good in calling Poe his husband.
“Yeah, you’re right. It’s just I alw-”. Poe had appeared at the end of the room with a triumphant smile and the guard on his side was holding three documents in his three-fingered hand.
“Guys, we did it!” he exclaimed, when he reached them, hugging Rey fiercely. Then, as he proceeded to embrace Finn, he mouthed “I’m sorry, again,” and caught his lips in his own.
Finn was a bit taken aback, but the strength of Poe’s hold on his hips and the not-so-well-hidden urgency, probably dictated by the presence of three armed guards right behind them, were enough to keep him from rejecting him. He actually kissed the pilot back and even moved his hands to grip Poe’s shirt. He heard the man gasp at this and smiled smugly into the kiss, without breaking it.
The guard, finally persuaded, handed Rey their Visas and Poe let go of him, still leaving a arm around his waist, though,
“Now, that was convincing!” Rey observed, as soon as they got on a sprinter. “Did you two have lots of practice sessions?”.
Finn wanted to answer, but seeing Poe blush was something he wouldn’t miss for the world and so he kept silent.
V.
Not so long after the fake-married affair, the General sent Finn on a mission which aim was to retrieve a document Poe Dameron, Leia Organa’s best pilot - and favourite man to put in danger, in Finn’s opinion - had managed to find.
When they reached the desertic planet the pilot had found his top-secret file on, - Finn was also wondering why it was always deserts. What was it with deserts? Did they hide secret, stolen data better than hospitable, comfortable, places like Yavin or Naboo? - Poe was nowhere in sight.
After hours of waiting, they decided they would split up, and Finn ended up having to search the nearest small town for his friend.
As soon as they entered the smallest cantina Finn had ever been in, a waiter droid told them to sit down and it also beeped something to the astromech droid they had with them.
The woman that was sitting next to Finn gasped and she smiled, making Finn regret he’d never tried to learn Droidspeak.
“The droid said Dameron’s here, and he’ll meet one of us soon, outside the cantina,” she whispered to him, faking a laughter to distract the potential observers.
“Then, I beg you to excuse me,” Finn replied, taking his blaster with him, smiling at her and feeling a warmth to his stomach that could only be connected to the chance of seeing Poe soon. He almost hoped he would have the chance of spending some time with him, but that was another problem.
The pilot emerged from the dark night of the desert town quite soon and a wide grin spread on his face when he saw Finn waiting for him.
“Buddy, it’s so great to see you,” he said, still smiling, and he added, in a much lower tone, “take this and don’t lose it,” and then he was shoving something in Finn’s hand, and was holding it, and, when an attack droid passed by with its eye camera turned on, he kissed Finn once again, not letting go of his hand.
The droid passed by, but Poe didn’t stop, and Finn wasn’t actually helping him in the matter of stopping, keeping the kiss slow and gentle and trying to get him closer.
“This time it was a poor excuse,” the pilot commented, closing Finn’s fingers around the data key in his hand, “which makes me think we’ll need to talk about this,” he said, smiling, before leaving in the dark once again.
“I’ll hold you to that!” Finn replied, and, though he couldn’t see Poe anymore, he was sure he had heard him.
+ 1
Finn had been thinking about all this awkward situation with Poe for a long time, but Poe had been constantly passing from one mission to the other and they never had time to discuss their not-so-much-of-a-problem. What worried him was that he couldn’t stop from thinking that maybe Poe wouldn't come back, one day, and he wouldn't have had the chance to talk and sort out their apparently inexplicable habit of getting out of difficult moments with kisses.
The other thing he never stopped thinking about was how having Poe in his arms had felt. And this was weird and awkward because the memories came back always at the worst times; it had happened more than once that Rey or some of the pilots caught him staring into the void while reliving the times on Yavin or in the desert.
"He'll come back soon, Luke has told me his sister is going to give him a break," Rey told Finn in one of this occasions, but it hadn't been true.
It had been two weeks and no one had heard anything more from him.
"He's gone, Rey. Gone. My worst nightmare has come true... and I didn't even- I never-".
Rey had grown tired of trying to uplift him by the time the news came.
"Black One to Base, I've re-entered the system. My astromech's had a problem with the comlinks. I'll be landing soon".
Finn started running towards the hangars as soon as he heard Poe's voice on the communication channel.
Poe was alive. And he was coming home. And he would be there in just a few minutes. And now he would never let him go away on his own, never again.
He watched him emerge from his ship, clad in his dirty, orange flysuit, his helmet still on and the small BB-8 rolling slowly at his feet.
He watched him scan the hangar looking for something or someone and smiling when his eyes fixed on Finn himself. That's when Finn started running again.
The pilot was moving towards him as well, more slowly, and more tiredly.
"Force, I thought I'd lost you," Finn whispered, as he was hugging him tight.
"I always come back to you," Poe answered, smiling, in an almost sad way.
"Yeah, about that," Finn laughed, excited, on the verge of hysteria. And then he kissed Poe.
He actually felt the pilot melting in his arms, relaxing into their contact and into the kiss. He felt how tired Poe was, and how much he was also willing to do this, but in a slower, sweeter, way. It was like letting go of all the tension, it was so different from anything they had had before, free of the danger, free of the lies.
It was the best.
Poe broke it off, smiling and almost laughing. "I take it we're settled, then?" he breathed, noticing that almost everyone was watching them.
"Hell, yes. I'm not going to worry about having lost a person I can't even call my boyfriend once again!"
Poe stopped smiling and hugged him again, resting his head on his shoulder.
"I told you, you're not losing me, love".