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Tim was so fucking angry at Jay, he couldn’t handle himself.
It started with just bickering, obvious anger, but the more Jay separated from Tim the angrier he got. He wanted to shout at Jay, and beg him to stay where he was. He didn’t know what he wanted.
He hated it.
He hated the way his mind works — the way his mind thought. The way his brain would blame himself for everything under the sun, and when he didn’t blame himself, he blamed everyone around him, screaming at them until his voice gave out.
He didn’t realize how much of an issue this was until he was standing in front of the door of their shared motel room, shouting at Jay for no reason.
“God — What have you ever done for us? I’M the one who always has to go out — always has to buy us food! Why are you always leaving the house for no reason? At least fucking come back with something!” Tim was so close to punching a hole in the wall.
“Why are you always yelling?”
Tim doesn’t know why, but these few words struck something in him, something that had him stop gritting his teeth. It was like Jay just shot something poisonous into his heart.
“I-“ He voice waved, “I don’t know…”
Tim felt tears prick at his eyes, “Fuck— I’m sorry, Jay. I’m such a mess.”
Tim slid down the front of the door, and curled himself into a ball. He felt so fucking pathetic.
Jay walked over, and reached his hand out. Tim flinched, expecting Jay to give him a, well deserved, slap, for everything he’s done.
But he didn’t.
Instead, he rested it on his shoulder.
“Tim— we’ve been only fighting for weeks. I think, after this all over, you need therapy.” Jay laughed, a weak, awkward, laugh.
“Maybe I do…” Tim wiped tears from his eyes. “I’m sorry, everything just happens to boil over for me. I don’t understand why I wait to express my emotions— It’s just… all too much.”
“I know, do you want me to go pick up some food or some-“
Before Jay could finish his sentence, Tim grabbed his arm.
“Don’t leave me—God, please, Jay, don’t abandon me— I can’t handle that.” Tim pleaded with Jay, staring into his eyes. He felt his heart beat in his chest, scared Jay was going to disappear if he so much as left the room.
“Okay, I won’t leave.” Jay fell next to Tim, and held him tight.
“Thank you, I’m sorry.”
“I know, I know you are, Tim.”