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Shaak had meditated for a long time to dissipate the pain, but at a certain point it became impossible for the Togruta to bear it. Her Leks and Montrals caused her stabbing pain with every movement, and at her age they were large, so the nerves were more sensitive than when she was a little girl.
"Master Ti, Knight Unduli is available."
"Understood," she said to the medidroid before walking away in the direction she was given, delighted at the opportunity for a short interaction even if the context was not as pleasant as her designated healer.
"Master Ti? This way, please."
"Thank you."
Following the short Mirialian, following her imposing veil more than anything else, her headache as if reinforced by every movement, Shaak wondered if she was dying. Sometimes you did not know you were ill until it was too late.
A hand was placed on her back and gently led her to a comfortable seat, and a hand was placed over her eyes.
"Don't move, I'll ease the pain."
"Thank you, it was becoming impossible to live with," she murmured as she felt her crippling migraine subside.
When the Healer withdrew her hands and took her face in her hands, Shaak was delighted that no blushing was possible for her. Up close, Unduli was as beautiful and bewitching as the last time she had seen her. Large, sapphire-like eyes, slender, delicate hands, an elegant face, lips that were more than kissable...
It was hard to resist her first crush. Adolescence had hit Shaak a little later than the others in this respect, and as at the time she thought she would want boys like all the other Padawan girls who talked about that, it had taken her some time to realise that her interests were quite different.
Shaak had always enjoyed it though. She had never corrected the Masters who praised her maturity and lack of interest in men and physical things, but she always laughed at them alone. It was their fault for not having the spontaneous open-mindedness to imagine that she might have less than Jedi thoughts about some of the girls and women around her, but she knew better than to say anything so she never did, discovering many things for herself and sometimes with civilians.
She already knew that she would never Fall for something like that, so it was not a problem. Abstinence was not a frustration for her, it was a commitment she made to herself and sometimes chose to put on hold, that was all. Sex was just sex.
What she had and could still feel more deeply for a certain woman, however, was a little more dangerous. To be honest, she spent a bit more time securing it all with meditation.
"I can imagine that. Can you tell me when it started and what areas are affected? An old injury perhaps?"
"No injuries, but my Montrals and Leks have been hurting for about four weeks.
"Has the pain got worse?"
"Yes, at first it was mild and barely a nuisance, but now it's really bothering me."
"That's understandable," the other said, absent-mindedly closing her fingers as if to activate her physical memory and recall the sensations of what she had eased. "This kind of pain would be classed as that of broken bones, it would be due to the presence of brain tissue."
Shaak placed a hand on her right Lek. Although she knew that Togruta Leks were very similar to Twi'lek Leks, she herself often forgot that their brains were larger than most. Sensory perception was also heightened. Sometimes it was easy to forget one's body when there were so many humans or aliens resembling humans dipped in paint pots like the Mirialian or Pantoran. The Leks were not just decorative, far from it.
"What do you think? Is it a disease?"
"I'd like to ask a few more questions before making a diagnosis, if you have a moment to spare."
Shaak nodded, urging herself to be patient. Knight Unduli looked at her reassuringly, it probably was not fatal.
There were terrible diseases that were not directly fatal, however. There were also no treatments for any of them.
"How often do you touch them?"
"My Leks? I touch them every day."
"In what context?"
"When I'm washing, of course."
She had strict hygiene, and she trained a lot anyway, so not taking a shower just was not possible.
"And how much time do you spend lying down? "
"Lying down? "
"Yes, lying down. "
"I don't know... a few hours? Four hours a day I suppose. "
"Hmm... That's not nearly enough sleep, you know. "
"I meditate a lot, " she explained. "Is that what's causing the pain? "
"That's part of the problem. May I…?"
Shaak nodded as she made a move to touch her and looked at her curiously as she walked around to stand behind her. All her theoretical knowledge of the Force was not much use to her, she could not even feel what Knight Unduli was doing apart from physically pressing down, but she had to admit after a few minutes that she already felt a little better.
"How do you feel?"
"Lighter, what's that?"
"A massage," the Mirialian said with mild amusement as she pressed harder with her thumbs on her Montral, instantly causing her to relax a little more before she even thought about it, her body escaping her control as she pressed back against the Jedi's nimble fingers and warm hands. "Just as hair and headdresses can become too much for your head and neck to bear, your Montrals and Leks weigh on your body and cause strain. You train a lot so you don't notice it, and as you meditate more than you sleep your body has very little time to recover."
"Oh... is that all?"
The Healer nodded and looked at her calmly in the reflection of the glass window that gave access to a relaxing area.
"That's all," she said. "It's actually quite common and has no long-term consequences, so don't worry."
She then moved to her neck, and Shaak realised how right she was. There was an incredible amount of tension that she did not realise she had and therefore never released in her body.
Shaak let herself be moved to facilitate the movements of the other, smaller woman, who also put pressure on her back and offered to lie down for greater efficiency. Ordinarily, she would have refused, so as not to disturb, but it was so pleasant that Shaak indulged herself and took advantage of her comrade's attentive and complete care until the other woman thought it was enough.
There was nothing sexual or coercive about it so she could well take advantage of this unique opportunity to be touched, however innocently, by the woman who had once been her crush.
The Togruta stood up... relaxed.
"Thank you very much. Can I do these massages myself? I'd prefer not to change my routine, but if it's too demanding it would be interesting if I could do it myself."
"You won't be able to reach all the pressure points, and to be honest if you're already in this much pain at such a young age it might not be-"
Shaak listened to all the reasons why she would absolutely have to do it at least every day if she did not change her habits and calmly thought about the problem. She did not want to go through that pain again, after all.
Hmmm... She had mentioned hair and heavy headdresses, had not she? Shaak could deal with that.
"How about a fair exchange? A massage for a massage."
"You… what?"
"Your headdress looks more splendid and imposing every time I see you, so you probably suffer from the same issues I do with your hair. I could take care of it for you if you help me again.
"I didn't realise I was getting so much attention," Unduli admitted, absent-mindedly checking that her hair was impeccable. On a more serious note, unlike you I can reach every part of my head, I-"
"I'm only asking for a few minutes of your time," Shaak immediately clarified, "nothing more."
They could even share a shower for all she cared, she would not even ask for a full massage like today, just some finger pressure and medical advice.
"Share a shower?" The Mirialian said, looking at her carefully, making Shaak realise that she had not just thought of that part. "That's actually an excellent idea, I'm lucky enough to have daytime hours, so I'm leaving early enough for it to be workable."
Shaak felt her cheeks burn, she would never have said that out loud on purpose, let alone expected a positive response. Did this mean they were going to see each other naked?
Interrupting her racing thoughts, the Mirialian gave her a few more recommendations and reminded her of things about her own biology and gave her her com number so she could contact her to set things up.
Then the most surprising thing happened.
The young woman reached out, grabbed one of her Leks and leaned down to place a kiss on it, her eyes watching her without blinking for the whole moment which encouraged Shaak to pinch her wrist behind her back. Pain. Reality.
"Knight Unduli?"
"I'm quite willing to explore a friendship with you, if you know what I mean. I thought you might be receptive to the idea."
Oh no. She must have let him slip into the Force and the Mirialian had understood that.
"I assure you I'm not asking you to do anything," she murmured, taking a step back, worried that she felt obliged to respond to her feelings.
"I know, I've come to understand that I can't wait for you to act on this, and I don't want to wait until I become Master myself so that we can be on an equal footing."
"Why would you be looking for me especially in this way?" She asked, knowing that even if it was not officially allowed, many people explored romantic or sexual relationships, for all sorts of reasons.
"Do you remember the first time we met?"
"I don't think I do," Shaak admitted.
She remembered the moment she started noticing her, before that she had had other crushes.
"I was a young Padawan, you were a Senior Padawan. Some of my classmates stole my clothes and my towel in the communal showers. You-"
"I gave you mine," Shaak finished, understanding because she remembered the incident: she had had to put her dirty clothes back on to go back home and wash herself and had not enjoyed it. "How did you find out it was me? I hadn't see you at the time and I'd taken my things out of my pockets."
"A friend of mine has very sharp investigative skills, he was the one who told me it was you. You were a bit like my white knight at the time and I was completely under your spell."
Knight Unduli smiled fondly at the memory and Shaak wondered if one day soon those beautiful full lips would be resting on hers instead of on her Lek.
She hoped they would.
"So, to answer your question: you were my first crush. I've had others since, but if I'm not mistaken and you're interested... well, I always wanted to know what it would be like with the two of us, so... why not give it a try?"
Why not give it a try, indeed?
"How about coming home for dinner before we take that shower?" she then asked.
The other one smiled, it was small but sincere, and Shaak knew that her face reflected that.
"I'll take my leave and let you work in peace, we've got time to find the right moment."
"That's fine by me."
Letting the spontaneous and impulsive part of her express itself, Shaak leaned over to kiss her tattooed chin as compensation for the kiss she had received, delighted to see that the other was holding her breath and looking at her with wide eyes.
"See you soon then, Knight Unduli."
"I look forward to seeing you again in places other than the Healing Halls, Master Ti."
Shaak would make sure of that.