Work Text:
“Kate, take me back to the morning after the tornado,”
Kate's eyes flutter back and forth under her shut eyelids. She subconsciously takes a deeper breath in, the feeling of the warm humid air seemingly sticking to her skin. It’s brighter out. The skies aren’t blue, the sun is still rising and there’s slight cloud coverage, nothing dangerous or concerning to be found. It’s just enough to make the environment feel and look hazy. Everywhere she looks is demolished, debris scattered as far as the eye can see. The road she had traveled with Jeb, Abby, and Praveen had been barren, spare a barn and a handful of signs that had been farther away from the underpass. She can’t seem to visualize if this is the same road they had started on or not.
She raises a weak hand up to her pounding head. Her forehead is sticky and warm, her matted hair glued to her skin. When she brings the hand back down to eye level, it’s covered in deep darkened blood. Was it from her? Or was it from Jeb? Or when the sign impacted Abby, did the torrential winds splatter her blood back onto her and Jeb? She wipes it onto her shorts in a panicked huff, ignoring the sharp ache in her thigh. She already made the mistake of looking down into the deep wound when she woke up against the asphalt. She doesn’t know that her stomach can handle that sight again.
“Kate?” A voice calls out to her, “Can you hear me?”
“Yes,” Kate responds. The voice doesn’t come from her, it feels as if it floats around her.
“What do you see?”
She hears it before her eyes are able to focus on it. The sound of rocks and branches crunching beneath the tires as a car slowly approaches. It feels like all of the adrenaline melts out of her body.
“It’s-It’s a car,”
“Who’s car is it?”
“I’m not sure,” She sounds unsure of herself. When the car parks, blue and red lights flicker on. She sighs in relief, “It’s an officer”
“Is there anyone else with them?”
Kate's deep brown eyes meet a pair of warm hazel eyes.
Kate's eyes fly open and she sits up unsteadily on the cream colored couch. The therapist looks at her with a calm and cool expression, despite her client's alarmed state.
“Kate, remember our deep breathing,” The therapist instructs.
In, in, in, out, out, out. After a few moments, her heart rate settles back into comfortable ranges.
“Kate, it seems as though we've hit a pretty strong mental block. We get through the tornado and the death of your friends, but something in your physical healing period seems to be triggering you. PTSD can be fickle, but I think we can get through this and find the memories,”
At that moment, Kate decides that she doesn't want to find the missing pieces anymore. She knows that's why she started therapy, specifically with this type of therapist. To find the chunk of memories that seemed to be wiped clean off of the slate. She only finds herself angry after each session. She rehashes the events before the tornado, lives through the terror and death over and over, but hardly knows anything about her recovery. This session was the first one that uncovered something new and all she found was hazel eyes.
It was enough. She has enough nightmares without reliving it through the full screen of her brain while awake too.
So, she leaves. She leaves the therapist's office without a word, stops to get coffee at her favorite little shop, and heads to work.
The world keeps spinning.
______________
She lost a shoe. She wore tennis shoes and tied the laces tightly around her ankles like she does for every storm chase. Still, one is missing. It feels silly to notice, especially when her friends were likely eviscerated. But as she steps on branches, glass, metal-it becomes hard to ignore with the stinging pain.
When she hears the car approaching, the cracks of wood snapping and gravel kicking up, she stares with squinted eyes. She shifts her weight onto her uninjured leg, despite the feeling of rocks and glass shards slicing into the bottom of her foot. A door opens and slams shut, much faster than the second one echoing after it. She blinks in the early morning haze, confused and dazed.
No one approaches her too closely. Feet apart, she meets a pair of misty hazel eyes. They're warm and familiar. The splattered freckles across honey shaded cheeks are a constellation of love.
Javi. Javi is standing right in front of her, unscathed and breathing freely. He's alive. He's safe . Hes alive. The storm didn't take him away from her.
“Javier,” Kate's hoarse voice whispers. Even getting a breath of his name out feels like it takes every last wisp of her energy.
She doesn't miss the strong, stable arms catching her weakening body before everything fades to black.
___________
Kate wakes with a start. She's alone in her own bed, surrounded by the safe beige walls of her apartment and the bustling hum of new york city. Nightmares aren't unusual for her, but she never dreams of the aftermath. She never dreams about Javi unless it's the sound of his floating voice screaming through the CB radio as they abandon the car. The whole dream rubs her in the wrong way and leaves a sour taste in her mouth and a sullen mood in its wake.
She washes the leftover soured fear down with bitter dark cold brew coffee and an exceptionally dry scone at work. It's usually easy to avoid the constant dreams and reminders when she's focused on keeping all of her brain power on the work at hand. She's tracking storms through Indiana and into Ohio, while taking notes about how unusually active their tornado season has been. She clicks her pen in annoyance, unsure if she should issue a warning or hold off.
As new radar scans and developments load onto her screen, her mind circles back to the dream. Lesser so about the dream, but more so the person that appeared in it. Javi. She thinks about him often, she misses him. And when he showed up randomly in the meeting room of the NOAA office a week ago, she felt the world stop turning on its axis. Everything she had run away from five years ago stood right in front of her. She wonders if that's what triggered the dreams. Maybe in the rush of adrenaline and shock, her body confused thoughts of him with actual memories. She thinks that might be the case.
“I would issue a warning for that one,”
There it is again. The feeling of the world screeching to a dead silent halt. Now, Kate wonders if simply thinking about Javi can make him appear out of thin air. Because here he is again, heavy hand on the back of her computer chair and finger wagging obnoxiously at a storm cell on her screen.
“That cell weakened,” Kate says.
“The vertical wind shear says otherwise,” Javi argues. She ignores the huff of a muffled laugh while she issues a warning for the area.
Kate spins around in her chair, meeting his mischievous expression with her own confusion, “Why are you still here?”
“For you,” He says. It's said so casually as if she should've known the answer.
“I told you no,”
“I know that, I actually wanted to apologize for the way I went about asking you to join me. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have put pressure on you to do something that would hurt you,”
“It's okay. Y’know, it's just a lot and it isn't you, I just-” She trails off. It's so hard to put her thoughts into words.
“I wanted to spend time with you, that's why I stayed. No pressure, no feeling guilty if you reject the offer. I know you left for a reason, I did too. But I want you to know that there's still a line open here,” He explains.
The words tumble out of Kate's mouth like a sigh of relief, “I'd love that,”
“Yeah?”
“You go explore the city. I'll call you when I'm off and we'll go out for dinner,” She grins.
Javi parts with a hug and she feels lighter inside. All of the despair and dread melts from her bones and she floats through the day. The promise to see him at the end of her day seems to bring color back to her lackluster life.
It's brighter with him in it, especially when he's smiling softly at her between clinking wine glasses. She can't tell if the warmth soothing her soul is just the red wine or Javi fixing the cracks within her heart. She'd like to stay believing that it's simply the wine speaking.
The honeyed freckled skin and warm hazel eyes seem to say otherwise.
_____________
Kate invited Javi to sleep on her couch for the rest of his trip. It was the kind thing to do, despite living in one of the largest cities of the country, she still holds onto her southern hospitality. It's worked out well so far, in fact, she's enjoyed it much more than she had expected to.
They camped out in the living room together the first night, surrounded by snacks and his cool military gadgets and data. The warm buzz from the bottles of wine left them talkative and giggly into the wee hours of the morning. They finally fell asleep, legs intertwined and Kate still holding onto one of his text books. She overslept for work, but woke up well rested and nightmare free. She hadn't felt that relaxed in years. It was as if she had finally found a wonder drug to alleviate all of her tight wound terrors.
The restful sleep followed her for the next few nights, even though they had slept in separate rooms and gave each other privacy at night. It was confusing at first, but Kate chalked it up to finally having a familiar safe person near her again. It makes sense that her body would fall out of its constant flight or fight mode.
Tonight is no different. They cook dinner together and binge watch Yellowstone while whispering about nonsensical show theories. They finish the first season before deciding to call it a night and she retreats to her bedroom for some solitude. She falls asleep easily, just like every other night.
Until she's gasping for air and trying to scratch at the hands gripping her shoulders tightly. The wind howling in her ears and the shrill scream piercing her soul comes to a screeching halt. The pressure of the hands anchor her to the bed, just what she needs when she feels as if she's reeling. They bring her back to reality gently.
“Kate,” Javi’s voice comes into focus.
“Javi,” She whispers. She grasps onto his hand softer this time, her thumbs rubbing against his reddened skin. She doesn't miss the way he scans her face with concern, as if he's dealing with something delicate.
“You're okay. You're in your apartment with me. It'll be okay,”
“I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to wake you, ”
Javi relaxes against her bed and their hands fall into his lap, “Don't worry about it. Are you okay?”
“I'll be fine,” She murmurs, “Can you just stay here for the rest of the night?”
“Of course I can,”
Javi doesn't push her, doesn't question her. He just sits with her quietly, then falls asleep on top of her bed quilt while running a soothing hand through her hair.
_____________
It's the last day of Javi’s trip. He tells her repeatedly that he would push it off if he could, but with the strength in the storms being projected, he simply couldn't ignore it.
“We should talk about the other night,” Javi says cooly. He's folding his clothes to pack tightly into his suitcase and she's folding a basket of clean laundry. She enjoys having someone to do humdrum tasks with her
“I'm sorry about that. That happens sometimes, it isn't that big of a deal,”
“Kate,” He murmurs, “You were screaming,”
“It was a dream, Javi. That's it,”
His head ducks a bit and he avoids the frantic ‘ shut up’ look she's giving him, “You were screaming my name,”
“Javi, drop it. Please,”
“I can't leave you alone like this,” Javi pleads. He silently pleads for her to show that she'll be okay.
“You didn't hesitate last time,” Kate bites back.
She hates the venom that seeps through her mouth with the statement. It's hateful and she knows it. His eyebrows shoot up in confusion and then melting into an expression of hurt is just the nail in the coffin. It looks as if someone stuck a dagger in his chest and twisted it in deep. She looks away from him, tries to focus on folding her shorts, but with blurry eyes she can't seem to get the seams to match correctly.
“Last time!?” Javi exclaims.
“You left me. I lost everyone and you left,” She says weakly.
“Is that the story you tell people?”
“Story? It's what happened! You couldn't handle what happened and ran off to Miami!”
“You're leaving out the week I laid in a hospital bed beside yours. The two and a half weeks following that when I stayed for you and only you,” He sounds gruff when he says it.
It feels like the world crashes and collapses on Kate all over again. It feels like missing pieces click into place when he says that. The dreams, the therapy, the blocking of memories all seem to solve themselves. She sets the pair of shorts down, abandoning all hope on being able to focus enough to fold them. When she looks up, she finds him staring back and there isn't anger or hatred gracing his features. There's nothing but hurt and confusion.
“Kate,”
“I quit therapy recently, because I couldn't get past some forgotten memories. Memories from right after the storm,”
“So, you don't remember…” Javi trails off.
“I was alone for an entire night and in the morning, I remember a police cruiser finding me. You were there, you helped them find me,” Kate explains with a frown.
“I did,” He confirms.
“Everything else is blurry. The only day I remember crystal clear is the day you left,” She ignores the strange sympathetic-pity expression Javi is donning.
“My arm was shattered and I had a concussion. They did surgery and I was hospitalized for a week. I made sure we shared a room the entire time and after that, I stayed with you day and night. I didn't leave until you told me you were going to,” Javi murmurs.
Kate reaches a hand towards him. She relaxes when she feels his warm skin against her own, “I'm sorry I said that,”
“If you forgot the rest, I can understand why it seemed that way for you,” Javi laughs lightly.
She stares at their intertwined fingers for a long time and tries her best to process everything he's told her. She doesn't magically remember everything, but it makes the hazy memories a bit sharper. She squeezes his hand tightly.
“ Stay, ” Kate says. She notices the way his thumb freezes while circling her skin.
“You know I can't,” Javi tells her, “But you can come with me and I'll tell you everything,”
“I hate that you always get what you want” Kate rolls her eyes.
Kate follows him. She ends up back in Oklahoma in a fancy white storm par truck with her hand interlaced with Javi’s as they speed through the fields. He tells her everything about her recovery, the rough parts, the good parts…The things that caused her to repress it all.
The tornados tore her life to shreds, but they managed to repair her piece by piece as well. She likes to think that this is the reason they say rainbows tend to follow after storms. They have to survive the throws of the weather to get to something beautiful.
Kate thinks that chasing with Javi might just be the rainbow part for her story.