Chapter Text
It wasn't easy, recuperating after being tempted by an multidimensional demon who seems to be going to therapy and wants to break out? That's what it seemed like, anyway.
Insane start, I know. You know that too. You hate how insane it sounds. Your therapist hates how insane it sounds. Therapists, actually. You've been referred around multiple offices, telecom, in person, some weird joint thing you really didn't want to think about. Truth is, it's been exhausting. Expensive, also. You had a solid job at Game Company Co., well, had had one. They'd gone through a mass layoff, and it was making it even harder to think about affording this sort of thing. It didn't seem to matter, anyway. Every therapist said the same thing.
It was all in your head. Stress imagination.
But was it? It couldn't have been, right? You still had that book tucked away (Far away from your other books, after several of your favorites had been dissolved into nothing but "HA"), so you have physical proof. The images, the distorted nature of the book. You could never push yourself to find it when you wanted to show someone, to prove that you're NOT crazy, that it IS something, speaking you from somewhere. Probably residual effects from when He was in your head, you reasoned.
You looked things up, if something actually happened anywhere, the nature of the Pines family, but all you found were things like obituaries. Not remembering the town wasn't helping, but something this massive should have had articles if it actually happened, right? There was a blip of time, several months in 2012, where you can't find anything, but honestly, your memory of 2012 was pretty spotty, so maybe it... You can't blame everything on him, but you can blame close to everything on him!
Your therapists have pretty consistently suggested you had a psychotic breakdown, and that's where these other symptoms are coming from. Blotting out the stressors, being more impulsive to throw away responsibility, pretending things don't matter so that they seem smaller. Frankly, it's believable enough you want to go through with what they're saying. Maybe believing it hard enough will make it true. Even a lesser nervous breakdown might make more sense.
You can feel the book's gaze on you.
It isn't anywhere near you and you can feel it. You can feel him.
It bores into your mind, drilling deep into recesses you cannot bring yourself to think about. You can't do it. It's too much.
It's been 327 days. 46 weeks, 5 days, 3 hours, and 37 seconds since you found that book. It's been 90% of a year. It's too much, you should have burned the book, but you can never bring yourself to do that either. The soul part stuck with you, you didn't really want to think about who's soul that could have been in there. If it actually had a soul, that is. It's like a curse. A curse you'll never get rid of, and it's your fault. You could have put it down at any point, and you just couldn't. Maybe you literally couldn't, but something tells you that wasn't true. He proved it himself with the elf, that was your doing. He did this all to you, and, what a pity, you can't even 'thank' him for it. A swift kick to the eye would have been a lovely parting gift.
You look down at the journal in front of you. You HAD pulled it out for work purposes, to try and figure out a design for a new character, something to make something of your own?
It was filled with Him. Scratchy, distracted, visions of him, again and again and again.
You nearly fell out of your chair in your rush to tear the page out. What was it he said, "any symbol"? You crumbled the paper up quickly, not taking any chances. Have fun in the trash pit, boy. You tossed it behind you, uncaring of where it landed, and put your head in your hands.
So long, and he was still most of what you could thing about. What did that say about you? What did it say about your work? He asked you to destroy reality, and you can't help but think about him wherever. It'd be nice to say that was something he left behind, but he tried to burn bridges as soon as his therapist cut off the connection. Therapists? Thera-Therabuilding? You didn't really follow that part, but that wasn't worth thinking about either! None of it was! The worst part is that you honestly didn't CARE if he ruined reality. Isn't that disgusting? He really fucked with your ability to give a fuck about it, and you're sitting here, thinking about him! He wasn't worth it! He wasn't worth your time! You just needed a VACATION and-
Oh.
Well there's a thought.
You had your weekends, butt you can't think of a single time you had a proper vacation in a few years. Maybe that's what you needed. Just ignore the world, and go on a nice, calm, vacation. Make a big trip out of it, those are fun. Can't think about triangles when you're out in the middle of nowhere! No! You'll be too focused on the birds, and the... deer, and, uh. You might be butting heads with one of those forgotten things again but that's okay! You'll just get a guide! No one mocks a tourist for a guide, except literally everyone! That's fine, though! You're a tourist, and they'll mock you anyway.
You shove the journal aside, you weren't going to get any work done, and get up to grab your laptop. There's probably some cool places out there! You just need to know where to look.
---
Okay, so you whittled it down to several places.
Boston, MA.
Las Vegas, NV
Billings, MT
Gravity Falls, OR
Boston, you'd heard some pretty neat things about, with it sounding like the place was FULL of things to do. The downside was it was, well, an east coast city. That's busy, crowded.. Crowds were hard, and with your lowered impulses, you might do something really stupid... Cities are expensive, too.
Las Vegas! It's.. A place. Honestly, it might be a better trip with friends, but you didn't really have anyone you wanted to invite at the moment. Dangerous city and all. The impulses again, too, might waste your money on the casinos.. Money you don't have that much of.
Billings? It seems like a boring town in of itself, but there were a good number of ghost towns within driving distance! What a neat little piece of history, right? The only downside is how dangerous the roads can be to these places. It could be neat, it was definitely higher on the list. Buses weren't the best, though.
Gravity Falls... You're not entirely sure why this one is sticking with you? You didn't really find any good information for things to do around there, but it seemed like it had some good hiking trails, and a nice homey spot. There was a place renting out a room for cheap, though it seemed a little... Quaint. The hotel was decent enough...
Man... You picked some fun cities, but none of them have the same draw as Gravity Falls. Why? Everything you were finding was saying the same thing. It was just a quaint little town in the middle of nothing. There was a tourist trap, a diner, an arcade, and that was really about the extent of it. Tourist traps are neat, but going to the town for one? That couldn't be what's grabbing you, right?
Well... A vacation's a vacation, you're already sitting around without any work, no one's taken you yet. It's a great time to do it! Might as well go to the middle of nowhere, and do absolutely nothing for a while! Plus, you could probably use it as a springboard to go somewhere else...
Okay, you can't. Your map app is showing it's that far away from everything. That's fine! That's fine, you'll make it work. You really don't see the appeal of anywhere else now that you're locked in, and you still aren't sure what's got your attention so bad. Maybe that mystery shack? You can't find any good photos, but tourist traps are always gimmicky and fun. You'll make this work! And nothing can go wrong! ...
If there's one thing that book was right on, denial and rationalization will get you far! You already bought the bus ticket! When did you buy that? Who cares, you did it and it's for... Later today.
Man you REALLY need to try and fix your impulsivity.
---
"Why don't we go through some questions? Nothing big for today, hm? Nothing big for today, all you have to do is answer them honestly."
"Suure."
"Alright."
Maddening. If he wasn't already mad, Bill would have gone mad from this whole 'therapy' business. He didn't NEED therapy, he's FINE. The Big Frilly Know-it-all couldn't have given him a worse scapegoat. Sabotage, honestly.
"How were you feeling yesterday?"
"..."
"Bill?"
"Crap"
"How are you feeling today?"
"Crap."
"Mhm.. Well-"
The disembodied therapist began talking about something Bill wasn't inclined to hear. Things about "emotional thought" and "calm environments". Eugh. He zipped through in his head all the little pinholes on Earth he could reach. It wasn't many, but it was-
Well, well, well, he knows that face. He didn't let it show externally, vaguely answering the questions the therapist continued to throw at him without thought. Things about "regrets" and "goals".
That bus is a strange little bus that only runs connected to Gravity Falls, and sitting right there is that last buddy of his that chickened out of his plan. He could have sworn he'd wiped out all their memories of the area, but hey, he's not complaining if they suddenly changed their mind. That's better than this boring drivel. Even if he did wipe out the memory too well, maybe something happened to bring it back. That stupid twin recovered his memory, because of course nothing stuck. No actual punishment for their actions. Maybe they remembered the plan? He hoped they remembered to bring the Book, it'd be the easiest way to try and reinstate contact.
It was a little exciting, honestly. He watched as they rested their head on the window, bumping alongside the bus. If they were on their way out there, then that means he had a chance to bust out of here! Maybe he had left enough that it had finally wrung its way through that thick skull that this was the right choice of action. All it would take was a quick handshake, and he'd be back in business! He had eyes all over that hick town, and he-
"... Alright, Bill?"
What. What was it saying? He didn't catch any of that. Agreeing to anything you didn't hear the terms for is nothing less than stupid, but Bill nodded anyway. They wouldn't be able to get away with much in here, so he wasn't worried about what this one would have to say. Especially not with the prospect of freedom so close. The feeling of the room changed, signifying the voice had left, and Bill straightened his bow tie, focusing back in on them.
If all else fails, well. It might be a way to pass the time.
---
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