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"Dad, look!!"
A small hand grabs his jacket and shakes him awake, impatient and relentless in an endearingly enthusiastic way.
"Dad ," the amused voice of his daughter Nari wiggles into his half awake brain and Changbin startles, blinking his eyes open and trying to fruitlessly cover up the fact that he just fell asleep on the bench he sat down a few moments ago, inside their favorite park where Changbin and Nari wanted to spend a fun afternoon together.
"Did you really just fall asleep?" she asks him unbelievingly, but there's no frustration in the way she's said it – Changbin's been blessed with an angel of a daughter, always understanding and patient whenever her overworked dad struggles with meeting the energy of his twelve year old.
"I think two minutes is your new personal record."
Changbin snickers at her words and rubs his eyes, trying to suppress a yawn. "You're probably right. I'm sorry, honey, the last few days have been really hectic at work."
"That's okay, dad," she calms his mind and sits down next to him. "I'm just happy we can spend some time together today."
Nari turns a little quiet then, looking down at her feet that don't quite reach the bottom yet. "We can rarely do stuff these days."
Changbin's heart squeezes inside his chest at seeing her so discouraged, so he wraps an arm around her slim shoulders and presses a gentle kiss to her hair.
"I know, bub, it makes me really sad, too."
It's the only thing that he regrets deeply about his divorce one and a half years ago – that Nari's mother received custody, resulting in Changbin only seeing his daughter every other weekend.
And now his workplace is regularly thwarting his plans of making the most out of their precious time together because of greedy, careless decisions of his higher ups.
Oh, he misses the times where he was his own boss, unaware of his long lost privilege of producing the kind of music his heart desired and helped his creativity go through the roof, escaping reality for a moment. He sighs deeply but then forces himself to an easy smile.
"What did you want to show me?"
Nari lets out a cute oh! as she's being reminded of the reason she pulled him out of his quick power nap and turns away from Changbin to carefully pick up something delicate – a very well made flower crown that she presents him with her proud, toothy grin, all purple from the braces she's got half a year ago.
"I made this for you!!"
Genuinely impressed, he leans over the flower crown to inspect it closely – so dainty and pretty with the tiny stems woven into each other and the little white petals decorating a yellow center.
"Those are dandelions, right?"
He receives a cackling laugh for an answer before she looks at him like he should totally know better.
"No dad, those are daisies, they're way smaller. Dandelions are big and round and yellow. I told you before."
Sometimes Changbin forgets how well versed his daughter is in anything concerning their local flora and fauna, knowing the name and specifics of any flowers and plants they come across on one of their rare walks. And he forgets how forgetful he is when it comes to these terms, reminding himself to just ask next time before blurting out the very first thing that comes to his mind.
But the little slip up is quickly forgotten, and Nari stretches out her arms, a big wish written on her round, rosy face. "Can I put it in your hair?"
"Oh sure, honey," he lowers his head and can't hold back his lopsided grin, flattered to be wearing one of his daughter's masterpieces.
"How do I look?" he asks Nari after she painstakingly made sure that everything sits in place, jokingly tilting his head and doing a cute pose.
She giggles at the sight but turns genuine right after, nodding her head with a fond smile.
"Really good dad! It looks pretty in your hair!" she acknowledges and it's probably the only compliment Changbin is good at receiving.
Even at 42, he's got as much hair on his head as he did twenty years ago, still jet-black with only a few silvery hairs traversing his thick strands.
"Thank you, honey," he smiles and playfully ruffles her hair, holding up his hands in feigned innocence when she protests and scowls at him, her fist pushed into her sides but not being able to keep a straight face either.
They fall into easy laughter before Changbin holds out his hand, eager to stretch his legs and stimulate his mind after his accidental nap, to not grow tired again and be present for his daughter.
"Let's walk for a bit? Maybe we'll find some actual dandelions."
"Yeah!" she says, as enthusiastic as ever, taking his hand and jumping off the bench. "Let's go!"
It's been a while since they were able to visit their favorite park together and simply revel in the beauty of the huge, ancient oak trees and the colorful flower beds, the patches of wildflowers and sap green, untouched meadows where wild bees are buzzing and butterflies are looking for sweet, golden nectar.
The wild, pristine parts of nature are Nari's favorites as she loves any habitat that is gentle towards all types of critters.
She adores them, even the worms drying out on the pavement that she carefully carries back into the high grass, even the countless slugs that emerge after heavy rain and the big spiders that stray into their home in the autumn months when it's getting colder outside.
It's been a while because of his stupid workplace that decided to bury him under a mountain of writing commissions and tight deadlines where he has to use his passion to grapple with the production of hundreds of mediocre radio pop songs, simply because the revenue is better, ultimately cutting short his time with his daughter.
And it's been a while, precisely since his latest dating disasters half a year ago, that he's been on a self-imposed dating ban, without even sparing a thought about letting romantic love into his life – too awkward, too busy, too invested in trying to make the new living situation feel as normal as possible for his daughter, trying his best to not have her bewail the loss of a home brimming with love and togetherness.
He's thought about it often – having someone to spend quiet evenings with and share his bed at night to be held and not feel so alone, having someone to take care of, someone who takes care of him, someone who ignites the butterflies he misses more than he will admit to himself.
But it's not his priority at the moment – and that's okay. All he wants is to see his daughter happy and thriving, without worries and being affected by the decisions of her parents.
Just as he's ended that thought, Changbin watches her run over to a few… dandelions he thinks?
Having arrived at her destination, Nari crouches down to watch a big, fluffy bumblebee hopping from flower to flower, her smile so brilliant and carefree that it makes Changbin's heart sigh deeply from relief, so glad to have these sweet little moments serve as a reminder that he's not doing such a bad job at being a dad.
Once he's caught up to her, she runs back and bumps into him, gripping a thick green stem connected to a little fluffy ball inside her small hand.
Ha! And Changbin knows exactly what that is.
"Now that's a dandelion if I ever see one. But it's evolved, right? Like a cute puffy Pokémon."
Nari is shaken by big laughter, grabbing onto Changbin's arm to not topple over.
"Dad, that's genius!!" she exclaims, then holds up the flower into the air. "And the Pokémon's super power would be flying and being really, really sturdy. Dandelions are so smart! And healthy too!"
Changbin watches with a fond smile how she blows at the fluffy ball and bids goodbye to the little flyers taking into the air by cutely waving at them and gazing into the sky.
"Mom refuses to help me make dandelion salad. She says I won't like it anyway because the leaves are so bitter," she complains before pouting up at Changbin. "Can we try it out together?"
Changbin can already imagine her face contorted in disgust right after her very first bite, knowing deep down that he'll end up being the one to eat the whole bowl of salad, but he doesn't have the heart to tell her no.
"Yeah, sure, I'll look up some recipes, and we can go buy the ingredients to try it out tomorrow," he says and receives a beaming smile in return.
"Thank you."
They fall into comfortable silence as they're letting their gazes drift towards all the pretty, soothing greenery, and Changbin lets it calm his heart, to have these happy moments with his daughter, just rambling and joking around, sharing their love for being outdoors and listening to the birds singing above their heads.
Until there's a screech coming from right next to him and he startles, looking down to see what the matter is and being met with the spitting image of pure happiness.
Nari looks like she's just won a million dollars to spend all of it on plants for their home, like she's received annual season-tickets for all parks all around the world.
"There's a new flower shop!! Look how pretty it is!!" she bursts out and beams up at him. "Can we pleaase go inside?"
She lets go of his hand and folds her own, her eyes big and pleading.
And who is Changbin to deny her her joy?
So he nods his head and watches her running like a streak towards the colorful flower stalls in front of the small stone building that Changbin recognizes as the vacant tool shed of the local gardener the last time they visited their park.
Now it looks almost unrecognizable.
There's still this impressive plant decorating the store front with its thick stem and beautiful blue hanging blooms, framing the small windows and complimenting the blue window shutters so nicely.
The tall wooden door is painted white and shielded by a dark green sunblind, and there's a wind chime hanging down from it, softly jingling away in the warm breeze.
It's adding to this peaceful atmosphere that draws Changbin in so naturally, joining his daughter where she's crouched down to inspect a big, round shrub full of white blooms.
"Are those daisies as well?" he asks curiously, reaching out to brush over the white petals.
Before Nari can share her knowledge with him, there's another voice joining them, sounding above them so suddenly, warm and gentle and a tad amused.
"Good guess, they do belong to the daisy family but—" Changbin's head snaps up to the source and he promptly falls back onto his butt because what the fuck.
"Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to startle you—"
"N-No, no, that's alright," Changbin stammers as he takes the slender hand that pulls him up to stand face to face in front of the most beautiful man he has ever seen.
And now he's already embarrassed himself to the bone.
"Thank you," he quietly says, all out of breath, forcing himself to stop staring at the man in front of him and not quite succeeding because again, what the fuck. "So– so those aren't daisies per se?"
"Exactly," the florist smiles, somehow not completely weirded out by Changbin's awkward stutters. "Those are marguerites, you can distinguish both flowers by their different sizes. Those here are way bigger."
After his explanation, the florist seems to notice Changbin's special hair accessory as his gaze wanders up to eye the flower crown that Changbin completely forgot is still sitting on top of his head.
To his horror, he feels his ears growing scorching hot, inwardly cursing at the utter beauty in front of him that slowly makes his whole face grow red as well, his light flannel shirt beginning to cling to his sweaty back.
That is precisely why he's single.
He lost his ability to "rizz up" potential love interests over the years, as Nari would say. And before he'd even try to gain back that skill and completely, utterly embarrass himself in the process, he doesn't want to try at all.
The florist's eyes crinkle and his smile widens at seeing the little flowers inside his black, curly hair, and Changbin uses the opportunity of his wandering gaze to roam a little as well, getting lost in the sight of a cute dimple appearing in his left cheek, right beneath a tiny freckle that sits underneath his warm, bright eyes. His lips are pink and so pillowy that it makes Changbin's own prickle with the need to find out for himself.
Judging by his prominent laughter lines and the gorgeous streak of gray in his otherwise dark, shoulder length hair, Changbin thinks he must be in his thirties.
Oh, he's down so bad.
His escape reflex kicks in and with the desperate move of stretching out his hand behind his back and wiggling it, he tries to make Nari understand that they have to leave right now before worse things are going to happen, like making an even bigger fool out of himself.
"That's a beautiful headpiece you're wearing, I must say."
"Yeah, that's– my daughter made it for me earlier and yeah, I'm afraid we'll have to leave n—"
"I knew that those aren't daisies!!" Nari barges in and decides upon his fate, ignoring his very obvious hints. "My dad loves flowers but he's really bad at remembering their names, maybe you could help him out a little?"
"Oh, good job! And I'd love to help, uh, your dad—?" the florist wonders and promptly, Changbin gets elbowed into his ribs.
"Changbin—" he helps him along, receiving a thankful smile from the man, and slowly his nerves calm down a bit, in the presence of a very obvious kindhearted soul.
"I'd really love to help out, Changbin. Just come in whenever you're ready, yeah? I‘m Hyunjin, by the way," he says in his soft, gentle voice that makes Changbin go weak in the knees. "Thanks, Hyunjin."
He waits until Hyunjin is out of sight and then spins around to face his traitorous daughter.
"Nari, why were you ignoring my obvious signs?!" he hisses under his breath, giving her a disappointed look but to no avail.
And who is he to complain – she's his daughter after all and sometimes as thick headed as himself. Because in no way would he admit to himself and to her that he doesn't really want to leave anymore.
"Dad, just let it happen, just this once," Nari whispers back to him, seeing right through him. "There were so many stars in his eyes when he looked at you, he likes you. You don't have to be embarrassed."
Changbin's head is spinning when Nari pushes him into the shop and he lets her words replay in his head. This is ridiculous, never in a million years would someone like Hyunjin like him like that.
But then Changbin notices Hyunjin looking up from cleaning the counters, his gaze lingering a little bit too long on his arms and his broad physique. He notices how his cheeks turn a lovely shade of pink when their eyes meet again.
Changbin opens his mouth to say something, anything, but there's nothing coming out, too breathtaking is the appearance of this tall, ethereal man wearing a lilac sweater and dark green apron, surrounded by an ocean of flowers, elegant and youthful and overflowing with vitality as if he was the god of nature himself.
And instead of looking unsettled or annoyed, Hyunjin's smile simply turns kinder, helping him along.
"Is there a space inside your home or your garden that you'd like to turn a little greener? I can help you find the perfect plant for anywhere you need it."
At least Changbin has an answer to that.
He lowers his gaze so he can formulate a clear headed answer, thinking about the few spots inside his garden that barely get any sunlight, no matter what time of day.
"I'm a little clueless about plants that don't need direct sunlight," Changbin lets him in on his gardening issues, "I have a few empty patches I'd like to fill with something green."
Hyunjin's eyes begin to sparkle at the prospect of sharing his knowledge with Changbin, brushing away a strand of hair from his forehead and tucking it behind his ear.
Forgotten is Changbin's anxiety for a moment as he watches Hyunjin's movements with a little smile, drawn in by his beautiful aura, so gentle and pure.
Hyunjin holds up a finger and pulls him back into the present. "I'll be right back," he says before disappearing into the back of his little shop.
A finger pokes him into the ribs and he winces, too ticklish for his own good.
"Give him some compliments, dad, he'd love that," Nari whispers hurriedly before walking towards a shelf full of orchids with her hands behind her back, trying a bit too hard to look busy, just in time for Hyunjin to emerge again.
With a little groan, Hyunjin sets down a wooded box on the counter that is scattered with leaves and stems, lots of clippings indicating that he must've sold a few bouquets today.
And Changbin wants to buy him flowers, too, every day, for the rest of his life.
"So," Hyunjin sends him a giddy smile, "they're nothing special in the sense that there's barely a garden where you can't find those two plants, but I think that's a great thing – everybody loves them!"
Changbin listens to his rambles with rapt attention, taking in the plants before him. They look quite simple, but he likes the color variation a lot, the two colored foliage and the one that's a deep magenta with pink undersides.
He learns that they're called plantain lilies and alumroot and that they're incredibly low-maintenance and frost-resistant and "just so beautiful to look at."
And Changbin thinks that Hyunjin is also very, very beautiful to look at.
"Especially when they're showing their delicate, lilac blooms in summer," Hyunjin raves with a dreamy sigh, "they're just perfect through and through and make amazing ground-cover plants because every spring they grow back a bit bigger."
"That sounds amazing," Changbin tells him honestly, glad to be part of Hyunjin's passion, even for just a fleeting moment. "I'll take them, of course."
"Good choice," Hyunjin grins before pointing at the box and turning a little shy, tugging at his pierced ear as he averts his gaze.
"I use that box a lot for transport but, well, you can just bring it back once you're done with planting? And then tell me how it's going?"
Is Hyunjin trying to find a reason for Changbin to return to him? Is he dreaming? Is this real life?
Hyunjin makes a face as his cheeks turn bright pink, chewing on his bottom lip. "Sorry, that's a dumb idea, I—"
"No! No, not at all," Changbin barges in, panicking about losing this precious opportunity he didn't ever think he'd actually get. "I'd love to come back and tell you about my failed gardening adventures, really."
It makes them giggle together, both giddy and relieved and so comfortable, as if they've known each other for way longer than just five minutes.
"I can't wait to hear about them," Hyunjin's giggle ebbs away slowly but his smile stays planted on his face as they're looking at each other, a moment so precious it feels like time has stopped, like it's only the two of them, inside their own little world they want to discover together.
But then Nari clears her throat behind them and reminds Changbin of the one thing he should do, oh, his little menace of a daughter.
His heart is beating like crazy but at the same time it's so easy to just simply state the obvious – he doesn't have to amp it up, he just needs to tell the truth.
"You have a really pretty smile," Changbin takes a leap, his heart singing at seeing it deepen at his unexpected compliment. "Very kind and just… yeah, pretty."
Hyunjin's eyes form into sweet crescents and his dimple shows again. "You don't look so bad yourself, Changbin."
He must be grinning like an idiot from Hyunjin's words, his buff chest preening slightly, on the way to cloud 9. Only Hyunjin's sweet voice can bring him back down to earth.
"Is there anything else I can help you with?"
Changbin shakes his head, unable to avert his gaze because they're so intertwined with each other, like twines of roses growing over years of failed love, little buds of hope sprouting everywhere.
"I think that's it for now, thank you for your expertise, that was really interesting."
"Well, thank you for being such a great customer," Hyunjin replies with a grateful expression and starts scanning the four plants.
In the meantime, Changbin takes out his wallet and his card, startling when Nari joins him at the counter and drops off a big potted plant with long purple-pink petals. Kind of like huge pink daisies—
"Oh, coneflower!" Hyunjin smiles at Nari who beams back at him. "A wonderful choice."
Changbin follows their encounter with fond eyes, nodding his head when Nari looks up at him to ask if they can buy the, uh, cornflower as well.
"Sure honey, I totally forgot to ask if you want anything," he tells her and pays for the plants, meeting Hyunjin's eyes right after and trying to take in this moment for the next days to come – Hyunjin sending him a bashful smile, his whole being glowing like morning dew on rose colored petals.
Mesmerized, he accepts his receipt, feeling like bouncing off the walls like a super ball the moment their fingers accidentally brush together.
Simply that little connection has him craving for more, trying his very best to not look like he wants to set up a camp in Hyunjin's little flower shop and never leave again.
He tears away his overgrown gaze and looks down at his new plants to clear his head and prepare for their goodbye, his prickling fingers curling around the wooden box when Nari speaks up again.
"Are you up for a trade, Hyunjin?"
Changbin's eyes widen and his heart drops into his gut from not knowing what his daughter's sudden mission is, but he can see in his peripheral how Hyunjin tilts his head, seemingly curious.
"A trade? Always! Shoot."
Nari looks like she's got the masterplan inside her pocket, a winning smile on her face. Despite being a little anxious, Changbin loves her mischievous and confident nature, can't believe that this cool human being really is half him.
"My dad gives you his flower crown when you give him your number!"
"Nari!" Changbin calls out and scowls at her, his fond feelings towards her character vanishing into thin air, wishing for her to sometimes be a tad less playful and a tad more open to respecting social cues and maintaining her dad's dignity.
Changbin turns to Hyunjin, and to his relief he seems rather amused and even a little bit sold on the idea. But still—
"Sorry for that, please don't feel pressured to do that."
But Hyunjin shakes his head, already looking for something to write on.
"I can't possibly decline that," he makes Changbin's boldest dreams come true as he scribbles down a number on an astray piece of paper with a pink sparkly pen he took out of the front pocket of his apron, smiling through his long, dark eyelashes up at him.
Their hands brush again when Hyunjin hands him his number, and his voice barely comes out as a whisper when he thanks him for it.
"My turn," Changbin says a little bit louder after he's cleared his throat and tucked the paper into his pocket.
Anxious to not damage his daughter's gift, he carefully lifts up the flower crown and holds it in front of him in the palm of his hands, the focused expression on his face giving way to a little smile that emerges from fulfilling his part of the trade.
Changbin reaches out and lets the flower crown gently fall on top of Hyunjin's head who bows down a little to make it easier for him since he's a few inches taller than Changbin.
His racing heartbeat calms down with the task of adjusting the head piece, tugging a little here and a little there and even taking an astray strand of hair to carefully tuck it behind Hyunjin's ear, his fingertips brushing along his jaw on their way back.
"Perfect," Changbin whispers almost only to himself as he takes in the beautiful composition, and it's taking him a while to snap out of it and meet Hyunjin's eyes, all sparkly and fond for him.
Changbin's heart warms at the sight and he takes a mental note to buy Nari some ice cream later for having such a good idea.
"Thank you for the trade," Hyunjin says sweetly, peeling away his gaze from Changbin to look at Nari, too. "I'll cherish it a lot."
"It was made for you!" Nari smiles at her, happy to be included. "You're so pretty and kind, I think my dad likes you a l—"
"Okay!" Changbin interrupts her, not wanting to push his luck and desperately needing a break for his heart and mind that feel like they've run a half marathon in under ten minutes. "We really have to go now, I'm afraid."
The little glare he sends Nari is nothing but playful and it makes her giggle, the way her dad doesn't need any words to scold her when she's teasing a little bit too much.
She gets the memo and wraps her arms around the big pot of the pink flower, sending Hyunjin one last bright smile before turning around and stepping out of this magical place that made Changbin's life make a one-eighty in just mere minutes. "Bye Hyunjin!!"
"Bye Nari!" Hyunjin calls her way and watches her leave with a smile. He shakes his head as he falls into a giggle fit, ending it with a big, content sigh. "She's wonderful."
And Changbin doesn't think it can get more perfect than this. "Yeah, she's really one of a kind."
"No wonder her dad is really nice, too," Hyunjin says, bolder now that they're alone.
And Changbin doesn't know how to act, not when he lifts up the wooden box and Hyunjin's eyes fall back onto his flexed biceps, inevitably making him think about kissing Hyunjin and wrapping his arms around his slender figure, about Hyunjin grabbing at him and sighing into his mouth and—
Changbin gives himself a slap on the wrist and looks back into Hyunjin's big, expressive eyes, amused and maybe a bit flustered as well as if he could look right into Changbin's head.
"Let's hope I can meet those expectations," Changbin jokes, a little on edge, "I'll text you."
As kind as ever, Hyunjin tries to calm his apparently very obvious nerves.
"Really looking forward to it, Changbin," he mumbles soothingly, sending him a genuine gaze. "Have fun with the plants and please do tell me how it's going, I'd really love to know."
His whole body is itching with the desperate need to put down the plants and walk behind the counter to embrace Hyunjin, to feel him and kiss him and bury his face into his neck that must smell like roses and pink pepper and freshly cut grass.
"Thank you again," Changbin says a little breathlessly instead, walking a few steps backwards, "…for the plants and you know, for your number."
Hyunjin cutely waves at him and Changbin sends him a little giddy nod before turning around and stepping out of the flower shop, where he meets his overjoyed twelve year old.
"Call me matchmaker!!"
Changbin lets out a laugh, full of relief and joy. "That could've backfired so quickly."
"But it didn't!" Nari reminds him, bumping into him. "I immediately noticed the golden thread between you two, or should I say, green thread?"
"Please, Nari," he groans, "I can't take any bad puns right now, I need to recover from the rollercoaster ride I was just strapped to."
Her cheery giggles cut through the calm afternoon air as she's making skippy steps even with a heavy plant in her arms. "But you liked it!"
"Yeah," Changbin admits easily, a reminiscent smile curling around his lips as he's recalling today's colorful events. "What a wonderful day."
A wonderful day that ends in doubts and bad nerves after Changbin secretly plucked a daisy from their garden to do the he loves me he loves me not game like an embarrassing, infatuated teenager, only to find out that Hyunjin in fact does not love him.
But after a fun, eventful sunday of planting their new plants and eating a whole bowl of dandelion salad on his own (he should've bet on it), he sat down with a glass of his favorite wine and turned on the TV to let the day fade away into something comfortable, right after Nari went to bed.
It's when he takes heart and dares to text Hyunjin, even with a dizzy head and the crippling fear of rejection.
Hey!
It was just about thyme that I text you, huh?
Sorry that it took me so long.
Before he could wallow in his own embarrassment from the usage of this horrible pun, Hyunjin answers him just a few minutes later, as cute as ever.
Hey :) don't worry!
I beleafed in you :)
Changbin is smiling like an idiot at his messages and he's missed that feeling – having something to look forward to and sharing the gift of getting to know another person and learning so many new things.
Though his conflicting feelings about dating changed so suddenly, all of this just feels so right. He really can imagine opening his heart for a new person to nestle inside. A person with a heart of gold and the beauty of roses.
Changbin feels so lucky.
It feels like he's going through his second adolescence, his second spring, his whole being in bloom after being closed off for so long.
And with Nari being so supportive of him, tending to his little sprouts of hope, he dares to go all in.
His thumbs fly over the keyboard of his phone, his heart fluttering inside his chest as his winter turns to spring and he steps into a new chapter of his life.
A chapter in full bloom.
Our garden turned greener today
and your box is ready for return, so…
Are you free tomorrow evening? :)