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I do not even know how it happened.
A few years ago, my best friend Mabel Pines and her twin brother Dipper Pines moved to Gravity Falls and started high school with me and my other best friend Grenda.
It was just the three of us at first. Candy, Grenda, and Mabel. We would hang out during school classes, at lunch, and have regular sleepovers. Just like old times. But it was a sleepover last year when everything became not like old times.
It was at Mabel’s great uncle’s house, the Mystery Shack. We were sat around the TV set in their living room, watching a rom com, when Dipper appeared in the doorway asking if he could join us. Of course, Mabel enthusiastically said yes, and he sat down next to me on the floor.
Usually, when we had sleepovers, Dipper would go off to do his own thing in another room or something. I do not know why he suddenly decided to hang out with us. Maybe he was lonely? I did notice that every time he was without Mabel, he was by himself.
Anyways, that was just the beginning. He started hanging out with us more and more. At school, after school, during encounters with the supernatural, and whenever else.
Even though he says he does not have much of an interest in our “girly stuff,” he would always end up invested in the rom com we were watching, or become really competitive in the game of Calling All Boys we were playing. Sometimes he would introduce us to things he liked, like Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons.
I started to see why Mabel had such a strong bond with her brother. He is kind, dependable, smart, and fun to tease. I like being around him, but I didn't realize exactly why until just recently.
At first I thought it was because our interests overlapped a lot. We both took an analytical lens to the world around us, and loved reading and writing about it.
Sometimes he lets me go through his journals of all the supernatural stuff he has cataloged in Gravity Falls, and I make corrections and help solve the puzzles here and there. If it is something tiny and obvious, he gets all embarrassed and tries to hide under his hat, but if it is something big, he gets excited and throws his skinny arms around me in a tight bear hug. I really like those hugs…
Ahem – Anyways, in my brain, I was just very close friends with Dipper. Probably even best friends. But nothing more. That is, until…
“Waffle friday! Does anybody else want waffles? I made extra~! ” Mabel said, dangling her lunch bag playfully. She sat down across from me and Grenda at the cafeteria table.
“I’ll take some!” Grenda replied eagerly.
Mabel unzipped the bag to reveal a stack of waffles in a container, surrounded by a can of whipped cream, plastic baggies of strawberries and sprinkles, and a bottle of maple syrup.
Grenda watched with admiration as Mabel expertly loaded a waffle with all the fixings and passed it to her on a paper plate.
“How about you, Candy?” Mabel asked, “Want one too?”
I did not hear her. I was busy scanning the cafeteria for someone who was missing.
“Candy? Caaaandy? Hello?” called Mabel.
She snapped her fingers a few times before Grenda stepped in.
“CANDY!” shouted Grenda between bites of her waffle.
I stiffened in surprise, and I snapped out of my tunnel vision to look back at my two friends.
“Sorry, I was just looking for Dipper.” I said, “Where is he?”
“He said something about returning some library books or something,” answered Mabel, “I don't know, I was paying more attention to the kitty poster behind him.”
“The one that says ‘Anything is paws-ible’? I LOVE that poster!” exclaimed Grenda.
“Hmmm,” I hummed, not really paying attention. I kept eyeing the doorway and drumming my fingers on the table restlessly, “Maybe I should go check on him.”
Mabel eyed me suspiciously. I always get nervous when she does that. She is a lot more perceptive than she seems sometimes.
Her eyes remained squinted, but her lips grew into a cheeky grin, “Why do you care so much?”
I felt offended. I opened my mouth to answer, but nothing came out. I guess I did not know why. Why do I feel like I need to see him? I am sure he’ll be here soon. Yeah. There is no reason for me to go all the way to the library. No reason at all.
“I have a library book I need to return as well,” I blurted. The lie came tumbling out of my mouth before I had even realized it.
I bit my lip, surprised by my own response. After a beat, I quickly shouldered my backpack and speed walked out the door.
My head was going a mile a minute. I kept my head down as I marched through the hallway.
I do not know why I lied like that. Or why Mabel’s question struck some kind of nerve. Or why-
“Oomph!”
I had just ran face-first into the subject of my thoughts.
“Whoa, Candy! Are you alright?” Dipper asked, clutching my shoulders.
I raised my head to look up at him. He is a lot taller than me now. Well, he has always been taller than me, but now my eyes are about level with his chest.
“Sorry, Dipper. I was just looking for you, actually,” I smiled.
Dipper’s face lit up, “Really? I mean- *Ahem* Something on your mind?”
So he was happy to see me too? My cheeks started burning, which I know is obvious to him because of my fair skin, which made them burn even harder.
“Um. Well, I heard you were going to the library.”
“Yeah, I just got back. I just had a few books to return,” he replied.
…Awkward silence.
“So… Mabel brought waffles today,” I said. Why did I say that? He knows that already. He LIVES with her for goodness sake. I don’t know, I just panicked.
“Yep. She sure does love sweet stuff, haha…” Dipper said, rubbing the back of his neck.
I don’t want this weird awkward conversation to last any longer! Abort!
“You know what? You go ahead. I have some books I need to return myself,” I said, avoiding his gaze.
“Do you want me to go wi-”
“NO! I mean- just, no. It is okay, I can go by myself.” Oops. That came out a bit too strong.
Dipper looked a bit disappointed, “O-oh, alright. See you there then.”
As I stared at his back as he trudged away, I dropped to my knees in utter exhaustion.
All I could think about was how much I wanted to see him, and now I am sending him off? What is wrong with me?
After lunch is geography class. I really like geography class. I guess it stems from my interest in ‘useless’ travel pamphlets.
I sit at a table near the back with Mabel. Dipper and Grenda sit at a table two rows in front of us. They seem to talk to each other a lot more nowadays. I wish I could hear what they were saying.
I feel like I’ve been staring at Dipper’s back a lot today. I’m kind of disappointed. I ended up just staying in the library wallowing in my embarrassment for the rest of the lunch period, so I didn’t even get to talk to him that much.
“Sooo?” Mabel asked, unprompted. She was balancing a pencil on her upper lip, probably because she was bored.
“So what?” I replied, keeping my eyes on my notebook and my pencil moving.
“Why didn’t you come back to the cafeteria?” The pencil fell right off her face. She had that concerned look in her eye.
I sighed. I put my pencil down and I looked Mabel right in the eye.
“Mabel, can I ask you something?” I whispered.
“...Sure?”
“Have you ever wanted to see someone all the time, but when you see them, you can’t think of anything to say and you embarrass yourself and then you just want to get away from them before you embarrass yourself further?”
Mabel’s face suddenly lit up, and her cheeky grin from earlier returned.
“You like Dipper, don’t you! I knew it!” she exclaimed, though not loud enough for anyone to hear.
I was shocked. Me? Liking Dipper? That ship sank a long time ago, right? I mean, sure we were only 12, but still, we have already determined that we’re better as friends.
“That is ridiculous! Just because I want to see him all the time doesn’t mean I like him! We’re just friends!” I whispered back, feeling offended by the accusation.
“Oh, so that was you and Dipper that you were talking about, hmm ?” she said. Uh-oh. I walked right into that one.
“Okay, it was,” I conceded, “But the fact remains: we are just really good friends. Nothing more.”
“Oh. come on. I’ve been watching you two. Don’t think I don’t hear the little squeals of glee every time my brother gives you a hug,” Mabel prodded.
“THOSE ARE PLATONIC SQUEALS!” I shouted.
Now everyone in the classroom is staring at me like I’m a crazy person. And I am standing up. Why am I standing up?
“Please sit down, Miss Chiu. And I’d like to see you after class as well,” said the teacher.
I quickly sat back down and buried my face in my hands. Maybe Mabel is right. I didn’t think I could fall in love with the same guy twice, after I rejected him.
I remember 12-year-old me falling for his confident ladies man act. It is embarrassing how quickly I started crushing on him, now that I think about it.
This time it was different. I didn’t even realize what was happening, and the next thing I knew, I wanted to have his arms around me all the time.
“...Mabel?” I slowly turned.
“Yeah?” Mabel said with a knowing grin.
“They are not platonic squeals.”