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"If you feel something, you must act on it. Always follow your heart.”
Those were the words Peggy’s mother would always say to her. But Peggy—stubborn as she was—had always refused to listen. She had always listened to her head; in her mind, cold calculations were much more helpful than listening to one’s heart and it couldn’t get any more accurate when she joined the war and entered the battlefield.
When facing the enemy, it isn’t the heart that you put into consideration, but your head; otherwise, you’d wound up dead. Sure, listening to her heart would be easier, but acting upon your logic was safer, and that was what Peggy needed in her line of job.
After the war had ended—especially after Steve—that principle was what kept her going. She compartmentalized her feelings and she was an expert at it. Even when Steve crashed, she kept mostly to herself and tried not to let it affect her, save for that time she let her feelings for him mess with her career in the SSR. And while she would cry herself to sleep once in a while for that dance they never had, she eventually moved on. She knew she would always love him, just not in the same way she used to.
Then it came to the part where she was sent to Los Angeles to help solve the lady of the lake killer case. Daniel was chief there, and Thompson said that he had specifically requested for her, and nobody else. She knew that Daniel was... interested in her, to say the least. She wasn’t blind; she’s a spy for heaven’s sake.
The truth was that Peggy did like Daniel, but after he had asked her out for a drink and she told him “another time”, she wondered if he took it as a rejection, because nothing happened between them for the next six months after the incident, and Peggy thought that maybe there really was nothing in store for them.
He looked surprised to see her in his office, and she knew that Thompson was playing with her. Daniel never specifically asked for Peggy. Anyway, she had a job to do and she was committed on finishing it. But then a sudden realization had hit her; the way he looked at her. It was no different than the way Steve looked at her. She tried not to ponder about it, but she couldn’t help but think about reaching out to him. Maybe this time, circumstances would change. Maybe things would be different. Maybe there was something in store for them after all. She knew her feelings were starting to interfere, and for the first time, she wondered if she should follow her mother’s words. In the end, she decided she was willing to take a chance.
However, the tables seemed to have turned when Daniel had subtly said no to her offer to get drinks. And while at first she thought by saying “maybe another night”, he really did mean another night, she found out that he was involved with someone else. And she couldn’t help but let the disappointment creep over her. And to add, Violet was a nice person. She was warm, friendly, and welcoming towards Peggy, and the way she talked about Daniel over cookies made it obvious that she was hopelessly in love with him, and maybe he was hopelessly in love with her, too. Maybe.
Peggy wasn’t one to muck things up due to her own jealousy, so she tried to shrug it off. But when she saw the ring, it was enough confirmation for her that he really was in love with Violet, and she could feel her heart shattering into pieces right in front of him. Engagement was a possibility in relationships—she knew that—but it happened so quick right in front of her that she didn’t see it coming. She told him she’s happy for him, but the shake in her voice betrays her. And so here she was; standing in front of the bathroom mirror dabbing the tears that ran her mascara, trying to convince herself that it just wasn’t meant to be and that she was going to be okay.
If only she had listened to her mother sooner…