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One day, the Avengers were walking in a random forest in New York.
“Come on, Avengers! Walk faster! We’re almost to our campsite!” Steve said.
“Ugh… I can’t keep up!” Natasha whined. “My legs are too short!”
“Yes, you are! You’re the Black Widow! You’re strong and can do anything!”
“I can’t go any faster!” said Tony, who was in his Iron Man suit.
“Why not, Iron Man?” Steve asked.
“Because!” Iron Man said. “I’m having trouble breathing!”
“Oh, okay.”
“I need to go to the bathroom,” Thor said.
“We’re in the middle of the woods, Thor,” Steve said. “There is no bathroom!”
“BUT I REALLY, REALLY, NEED TO GO!”
“Fine. Here is some toilet paper. Don’t take longer than a minute, or we’ll leave you behind.”
Thor took the toilet paper and ran off.
“Ew!” Carol said. “You men are so gross!”
“Oh?” Steve said. “Are you saying that women never have to go to the bathroom?”
“FUCK YOU!” Carol shouted.
“It’s been one minute!” Iron Man said. “Let’s leave him!”
“Alright!” Steve said.
After the Avengers walked in silence for a while, Steve started singing.
“The ants go marching one by one! Hurrah! Hurrah!”
“Ew, no! Not ants! I hate them!” Carol whined.
“Ants are part of nature, Karen,” Steve said. “You’ll just have to get used to them.”
In the distance, Thor began screaming.
“Ants! They’re crawling all over me! AHHHH!!!”
“Eek! Did you hear that? Someone is being attacked and killed by ants right now!” Carol shrieked.
“Ants? Where? I love ants!” Scott said, suddenly appearing out of nowhere.
“Ant-Man?!” Steve said. “How long have you been following us?”
“This whole time!” Scott said. “You just didn’t see me, because I was so small!”
“Great, we have to deal with him now,” Iron Man said. “At least he won’t take up much room.”
“Maybe he should share a tent with Spider-Man, since they’re both bugs!” Steve said.
“Spider-Man didn’t bring a tent with him,” Iron Man said.
“That’s because I’m going to make one out of my webs!” Spider-Man said.
“What the heck,” Scott said. “That’s so cringey.”
Meanwhile, Thor was lost.
“I’m so hungry!” he moaned. “I’m going to starve!”
A black dog suddenly appeared.
“Eat the mushrooms,” he said. “They’re totally not poisonous or anything.”
“Great idea!” Thor said. “What would I ever do without you, Woofy?”
Soon at the campsite, the Avengers arrived at their campsite.
“Alright… who’s sharing with who?” Steve asked.
“I will be sharing a tent with my wife,” Iron Man said.
“Ugh, I forgot that you even brought her,” Steve said. “She’s been so quiet.”
Pepper looked down shyly.
“Tony, have you been hitting her?” Steve asked.
“Not in recent memory,” Iron Man said.
“Okay,” Steve said. “We’ll put the other two girls together. And I will share with Hawkeye!”
“Oh, no!” Bruce said. “But that means I have to share with…”
Thor emerged from the trees, still screaming. The black dog was following him closely.
“Oh,” Steve said. “Thor’s still alive…”
“Ants!” Thor shouted. “Ants the size of my huge, muscular arms!”
“Don’t be silly, Thor,” Scott said. “As a certified ant expert, I can confidently tell you that ants are NEVER that big!”
“You’ll have to forgive the lad,” the black dog said. “He ate some funny mushrooms.”
Pepper screamed.
“AHHH!! A talking dog!”
“AHHH!” the dog said mockingly. “A pregnant lady!”
“PEPPER!!” Iron man yelled. “YOU’RE PREGNANT?!?”
“W-what? No, of course not!” Pepper said. “The black dog is a liar! Everyone knows that!”
“Deny it all you want, but he’ll find out eventually…” the dog said. Then, he disappeared.
“Let’s make s’mores for some reason,” Steve said.
“S’mores rhymes with Thor’s!” Thor giggled, eating a handful of marshmallows.
“Do I really have to be in the same tent as him?” Bruce asked, glaring.
“Well, you could switch with Hawkeye, if you wanted,” Steve said.
“Yes, I think I will,” Bruce said.
“Alright, Dr. Banner!” Steve said. “Nice to have you!”
“Heh, I’ll try not to get angry…”
“Thor, you won’t roll over and smash me… right?” Hawkeye asked, making puppy dog eyes.
“I won’t!” Thor said. “You have my word!”
“Okay,” Hawkeye said. “Good night.”
“Good night!” Thor said. “Wait! Hawkeye, just a minute…”
“What is it, Thor?” Hawkeye sighed.
“I have mushrooms,” Thor said. “Do you want any?”
“No.”
“Okay,” Thor said. “Good night.”
“Good night,” Hawkeye said. “For real this time, hopefully.”
“Wait!” Thor said. “I have to pee!”
“Really? This is the second time today! I think you just like peeing in the woods!”
“Rude,” Thor said. “I’ll have you know that I wasn’t peeing the first time…”
“Ew! You’re disgusting! Absolutely disgusting! Go! Just go and get away from me!”
“Okay, okay!” Thor ran away, crying. As he slowed down, he heard a growling noise.
“Oh, no!” he said. “Is that my stomach again?”
It wasn’t his stomach. It was a black bear!
“Ha! Nice try, Loki. I know that’s just one of your stupid disguises!”
The next day, the Avengers went fishing for some reason.
“Have any of you seen Thor?” Steve asked.
“No,” Hawkeye said. “He’s probably dead.”
“Oh, so that’s what that screaming noise,” said Robert Downey Jr.
“Get out of here,” Steve said. “We did not invite you.”
Thor ran up to the Avengers. He was very stinky and sweaty.
“Darn it!” Bruce said. “He’s still alive!”
“Shut up, Thor. You’re going to scare the fish,” Tony said, even though Thor hadn’t said anything.
“You smell bad, Thor,” the black dog said. “I think you need a bath.”
“But there’s nowhere to bathe!” Thor whined.
“You can bathe when you get back to the tower, Thor,” Steve said.
“Bathe in the lake,” the dog said. “Right now.”
“NO!” Thor shouted. “I will not bathe in the lake, especially not when they’re fishing!”
“EW, EW, EW! He wants to bathe in the lake while we’re fishing! Men are so gross!” Carol complained.
“That’s it,” Steve said. “No breakfast for you, Thor.”
Thor swore in Asgardian, grabbed his hammer, and flew away.
As he was flying, he saw Doctor Strange opening a magical portal and throwing a staircase through it.
“Oh!” Thor said. “So, that’s how stairs get into the forest!”
The End