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The remnant red glow splitting the previously perfect image of the dreamscape’s sky was a depressing sight for Aventurine. The faint crackling of nihility in the air only served as a painful reminder of his utter failure; the failure of his mission for the Stonehearts and the failure of his mission towards… putting an end to his suffering.
He sighed, his eyes fluttering closed as he slipped his hat back onto his head and tried to focus on something else. He’d honestly never imagined some theme park would be the source of such painful memories; memories pertaining to both his past and his future.
Aventurine’s encounter with Kakavasha was nothing short of upsetting as his harmony-addled mind forced him to come to terms with his painful past, and as for the future… well…
Being in such close contact with the nihility had left harrowing lasting effects on his body. Even now, his limbs felt heavy and his mind fogged. Nightmares were nothing new to him, of course, but those were light work compared to the horrors that plague him in the night now. What a pain… what life was worth living only if-
“Gambler.” Aventurine startled when a familiar timbre snapped him out of his spiraling thoughts, and he opened his eyes only when familiar, steady footsteps approached from the side, a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes forming on his lips when his gaze met the warm dawn eyes of a certain doctor.
Aventurine cocks his head to the side in an attempt to look coy. “Oh! Fancy seeing you here, doctor,” he lilts in a tone meant to tease, “didn’t think anyone would find me out here. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were seeking me out.”
Ratio huffs and stops at his side, already crossing his arms and frowning with a crease in his brow. “Hmph, and if I was?”
“Well, then I’d say you’re a fool, doc.”
Ratio opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but his mouth snapped shut as he looked Aventurine in the face. He let out a deep sigh through his nose, pointedly ignoring his comment, and with a voice holding far too much tenderness and concern, asked “Are you feeling alright? You appear to be unfocused. You should not be ill, considering the nature of the dreamscape, however… the influx of nihility may yield some negative effects on your body. You are still recovering from being struck after all. Have you been resting properly? Feeding yourself-”
“Haha, you’re funny. Don’t worry, doc, I’m doing just fine.” Aventurine stuffed his left hand into his pocket, and forced a teasing smirk on his face. He sauntered slowly towards the doctor and teasingly tucked his finger beneath the chain adorning Ratio’s shirt. “Although, if you wanted to perform an ‘internal exam…’ well, I wouldn’t be opposed.”
Ratio made an indignant sound and smacked his hand away. Aventurine chuckled and eyed the red dusting the doctor’s cheeks.
“You are absolutely incorrigible,” Ratio grumbles. “Perhaps I was mistaken in feeling genuine worry for your wellbeing.”
Aventurine feels something pang in his chest at the words, and he feels his heart rate pick up. Deflect, deflect, deflect. It is all he can do to navigate this uncertain terrain. He nudges his glasses down in some feeble attempt to look alluring, slowly stepping towards Ratio again. “Well, you know, there’s always something you could do to help me feel better.”
“Enough of that,” the doctor interjects harshly. “You foolish gambler, you know as well as I do that is not what either of us wants right now.”
“Oh, so you can read minds now?” Aventurine quips with a little bit more bitterness than intended as he steps away. “Don’t tell me what I want and don’t want right now.”
“Fine, well I know what I want, in any case, and what I want is to know…”
Aventurine tenses, listening intently for the doctor’s next words. They’re teetering on a dangerous edge right now. Ratio looks far too vulnerable for Aventurine’s comfort. He hates when Ratio looks at him with those soft, caring eyes, as if Aventurine’s safety was all he needed in this universe.
“Tell me, gambler…” there is a pause, and Ratio’s nose crinkles as he catches the bitterness in his own tone. “Aventurine,” he corrects, much more soft this time. Perhaps even vulnerable…
Aventurine’s hand shakes where it is balled into a fist in his pocket.
“Did you… truly seek to kill yourself by the emanator’s hand…?”
Aventurine freezes, muscles taut with sudden tension. His anxiety skyrocketed, and it is anxiously that he meets Ratio’s solemn gaze, only to quickly tear away when he finds he cannot handle the gentle melancholy held in those dawn eyes.
Melancholy, as if Ratio had truly lost Aventurine on that day.
The doctor is showing a level of vulnerability that Aventurine isn’t quite equipped to or ready to confront just yet, and perhaps he never will be. He gnaws at his lower lip in conflict.
In that moment, Aventurine subconsciously pulls his cards far too close to his chest. He simply cannot risk stripping himself bare in front of the doctor, cannot bear the thought of letting him so close to his heart.
Despite being aware of the dreamscape’s perfectly controlled weather, he cannot help a glance at the clear sky and its perpetual dusk, blotted only by the red slash of the nihility; searching helplessly for any indication of rain.
He runs his tongue over his horribly dry lips as he tries to form some kind of defense or deflection. He managed to force a smile that he knew would be entirely unconvincing, managed to put on just a mere wisp of that air of confidence he always hid behind. “Is that really so surprising? You and I both know my life is just another one of the IPC’s expendable tools, and Penacony is an asset of great importance. It would have been a fair trade, no?”
He hates how his voice shakes when he says it.
He hates the way Ratio’s shoulders slump, and the way he stands up a little straighter despite it. When he speaks, his tone is bitter. His expression speaks of anger but his eyes hold such terrible sadness.
“Have you ever considered that your life is more valuable to those around you than you seem to have convinced yourself?”
Guilt instantly lances its claws into Aventurine’s chest, and when he breathes out, he slumps, defeated.
“I’m sorry,” he finally manages. It’s shaky and pathetic and Aventurine feels far too exposed right now. His shoulders are squared with tension and he shuffles his feet to get ready to run if need be.
Ratio frowns, but graciously makes no further attempt to question Aventurine. He simply steps forward, hand raising. The tips of Ratio’s fingers graze against blonde locks as they gently circle the rim of his sunglasses before slowly removing them from his face.
Aventurine can pinpoint the moment he chooses to act as if Aventurine didn’t just strike a lance through his emotions.
“You have only yourself to apologize to, Aventurine,” his voice is stiff as he speaks, ever-observant eyes scanning over Aventurine’s features. “I can see that you have not been taking adequate care of yourself. When was the last time you have gotten any meaningful rest outside of the dreamscape?”
Aventurine doesn’t answer, though that seems to give Ratio all the answer he needs.
“Come along,” the doctor ordered. “Remaining within the dreamscape in your state will do you no favors, especially with such recent exposure to the nihility. You will get sufficient rest in reality, so long as I can help it. You will not have to relinquish your troubles to me, either, if that is what you wish. You need only to rest”
Aventurine’s heart skipped a beat when Ratio’s hand enclosed around his wrist and began to pull him along.
“Wait- doc- where are we-?”
“A ridiculous question; I know you aren’t so dense as to not be able to infer. We are returning to my room in the Reverie.”
Aventurine said nothing after that, he simply bit his lip and allowed himself to be led away on the doctor’s orders.
When Aventurine finally awoke in his hotel room in reality, he was met face to face with Ratio’s piercing gaze staring back at him from above. The dreampool’s cool liquid lapped against his face in strange, calming motions.
“Finally awake, are you? Come along, we certainly aren’t sleeping here,” Ratio spoke so casually, as if he did not say the one single thing that was about to make Aventurine’s heart slam out of his chest.
“We?” He repeated in a voice far too small for his liking.
“Yes, we, clearly you have not been getting adequate rest on your own so I will be assisting you.”
Aventurine would be lying if he said he wasn’t severely affected by the mere thought of sleeping together with the doctor. His stomach was doing flips and his heart felt like it was going to explode. His eyes frantically scanned over the doctor, and he barely registered the faint dust of red on his cheeks.
The only thing is…
“Why?”
“Why, what? You must be clearer with your words, dear gambler.”
“Why are you doing this? There can’t be anything in it for you.”
Ratio took pause to this, his lips pursing as if he was trying to choose his words wisely.
“You are mistaken,” the doctor begins cautiously. “Contrary to what you may believe I find endless value in the well-being of those I care for, and you just so happen to be one of those individuals.”
Something flickered in Aventurine’s chest, something terrifying and bitter. “You shouldn’t say things like that, doc. One might start to get the wrong idea.”
“Do you not believe me?”
“I just don’t understand,” Aventurine answers in a near-whisper. “Why does it matter to you?”
Ratio cautiously steps forward and slips his hand up to caress Aventurine’s cheek. Aventurine gasps in surprise and meets the doctor’s gaze, stares into those dawn eyes full of tenderness and… something else.
“You are very dear to me, Aventurine..." he pauses and gulps, nervous. "I want nothing but the best for you, do you understand?”
Staring into the doctor’s eyes… into the tenderness that they hold… the love they hold; perhaps a love meant specially for him… he understands.
He surges forward, lips crashing against the doctor’s. Ratio gasps in surprise but quickly reciprocates, letting out a pleased sound as he brings his hands to card through Aventurine’s hair.
Aventurine brings his own hands up to tangle into the wavy violet locks at Ratio’s nape.
Their lips slot against each other in a way Aventurine could only describe as perfect. Every slide of their lips and every caress of skin had Aventurine humming pleased sounds against Ratio’s lips.
When they finally broke for air, Ratio pulled Aventurine into an embrace so tender and warm that Aventurine could only melt into it, letting out a startled breath when he felt Ratio mouthing against his ear.
“If it is not yet clear, I love you, Aventurine, and your wellbeing means the world to me.”
“Ratio…”
Aventurine’s face warms, and he tucks himself into the crook of Ratio’s neck. The resulting low chuckle that rumbles through his throat cause butterflies to flutter in Aventurine’s stomach.
“Shall we get ready for bed now, my dearest gambler?” Ratio questions as he pulls away slightly, “You look absolutely exhausted, and we must get to bed soon if you are to get an acceptable amount of sleep.”
“Yeah… yeah, it’s just…” Aventurine runs a shaking hand through his hair to compose himself, only to cringe when he pulls his hand away and feels it slick with oil.
“Ah, I see…” Ratio pauses, thoughtful. “You have spent an exorbitant amount of time within the dreampool. Would you prefer to freshen up before we retire to bed?”
Aventurine nods, a tired frown pulling on his lips. His emotions were still fresh from such a deeply emotional confession, his whole world was spinning and he… honestly didn’t want to be away from Ratio right now…
Ratio gently took Aventurine’s hands into his own and thumbed over his knuckles in a comforting motion. “Would you allow me to take care of you? Of course, do not feel pressured to agree, I only wish to pay the utmost respect to your personal boundaries and I understand that washing may be something personal and-”
Aventurine couldn't help but snicker. “Heh. You’re cute when you’re nervous, doc,” he interrupts. “Do you get off on taking care of people when they’re vulnerable? Maybe we could test that little thing of yours?”
Ratio’s face explodes into a vibrant red and he adorably brings his hand up to cover his face. “Incorrigible,” he mumbles into his hand. “You are in no state to be making any sexual innuendos at me. You are going to bathe and then you are going to bed without complaint, understood?”
“Hehe, whatever you say, dear doctor.” Aventurine couldn’t help letting a soft smile ease onto his face. Seeing the doctor’s flustered face just makes him feel slightly less horrified at the prospects of the future.
Ratio only huffs indignantly and once again grabs Aventurine’s wrist in order to begin leading him to the attached bathroom, where Aventurine proceeds to take the most relaxing bubble bath of his life.
The feeling of Ratio’s hands in his hair where he massaged shampoo into his scalp was downright hypnotic; Aventurine had felt his eyelids slowly growing heavy and it was becoming increasingly difficult to stay awake.
Ratio’s hands soon traveled torturously down to work at the knots in Aventurine’s shoulders, and Aventurine felt as though his body were becoming pudding beneath the doctor’s ministrations.
By the time Ratio pulled the plug from the water, Aventurine was practically already asleep. The doctor gently eased Aventurine out of the tub and dried him off as if he were made of porcelain, and then dressed him with the same tenderness. Aventurine yawned and nuzzled his face into the collar of the night shirt Ratio dressed him in, reveling in the way it smelled just vaguely like the doctor.
For the first time in a long time, Aventurine felt truly relaxed. Though, he wasn’t sure he could say the same about the doctor.
Aventurine could practically feel the anxiety buzzing off of the doctor as he fussed with Aventurine’s wet hair, trying to make sure it would be properly dry enough to sleep while also not getting Aventurine sick overnight. He also fidgeted with his sleep clothes, trying to make sure they were perfectly comfortable enough so that Aventurine may get the perfect sleep.
Truthfully, Aventurine wanted to tease him for his needless fussing, but he was far too tired to do anything other than just allow him.
Once he was satisfied and carried off to bed, Aventurine soon found himself draped across Ratio’s warm body on the hotel room’s couch. It’s warm and tender and the steady heartbeat pulsing beneath his ear is a comforting presence.
Ratio himself is a comforting presence. One warm, steady hand slowly threads through soft blond locks while the other traces gentle shapes through the fabric of Aventurine’s nightshirt. He could almost pretend that he could live out some sort of wild domestic fantasy with the doctor, one where he would never have to pretend, would never have to…
“Veritas,” he whispers, interrupting his spiraling thoughts. He smiles as he feels the heartbeat beneath his head pick up at the name. “You’ll let me rest here, won’t you…?”
He feels Ratio’s huff more than hears it. “As if you are not already,” he grumbles, though Aventurine could tell it was meant to be affectionate.
“Anything you’d like, my dearest gambler. Rest well.”
“Thank you, Veritas…
"Oh, and... I love you, too.”