Chapter Text
Tim stood outside Bruce's office door, holding a worn green folder. This wasn't the first time he had attempted this talk but he felt ready this time! Now If only he could get his fist to knock! But why did he need to knock?! This is Bruce’s office, normally he would just waltz right in and begin talking. But the conversation he needed to have would change both of their lives no matter the outcome.
But Tim had put it off for years already, at first it was because Bruce wasn't his adoptive father legally yet, and then Jason had almost killed him, and then Damian tried to kill him, then Bruce got lost in the time stream, and…. Yeah so Tim had excuses for the first few years but recently Tim could only say he wasn't sure he wanted the answer.
Sure he could find everything on his own but he felt like he really needed Bruce for some reason. Like if he had to look for himself he would just suffer the consequences in silence.
So here he stood with his faded green folder for the tenth time this week, a war between his heart and mind waged on while his fist hovered over the door. Just as he was about to chicken out again a fist reached over his shoulder and knocked for him. He flipped around to see Dick darting down the hall away from him.
Tim stood in horrified silence for a second before Bruce's call of “It's open” broke him out of it. He slowly opened the door and entered Bruce's home office. Bruce was busy typing away at his computer only sparing a glance at Tim before going back to his typing.
“Hey chum, what can I do for you?” Bruce asked distractedly, Tim knew Bruce would give his full attention as soon as his stupid voice started working! God why was this so hard!
He must have taken too long to answer because Bruce glanced back up and took a moment to look Tim over, he must have found something that worried him because he quickly and gently closed his laptop and started telegraphing his movements as he rested his hand is plane sight and relaxed his posture to something more open and gentle.
“Tim? What's wrong?” Bruce asked gently
“I… uh.. I was hoping to ask for your help?... Uh on a case…” Tim stumbled over his word not sure how to ask and knowing how this would affect the family as a whole “It's a personal case…. You know what, it's not a big deal, it can wait!” Tim made for the door having only taken a few steps into the office. His steps are halted by a large warm hand on his shoulder, another reaching over him and taking his precious folder.
Before he knew it he was being led over to a chair right in front of Bruce's desk. Bruce half sat half leaned on his desk holding Tim’s whole world in his hands, but he didn't open it as if waiting for permission.
“Tim, breath for me” Bruce coaxed gently, and what… Tim was breathing! If he wasn't he would feel… okay so maybe he wasn't breathing.
Tim took his time to get his breathing under control and reoriented himself. Tim steeled himself again before starting over “B listen, this is really important to me and I can't do it alone. But I also know that no matter what happens things won't be the same, and I know we are all just now starting to settle after everything that's gone on in the last few years. And it doesn't seem fair for me to stir things up again but I really need to know!”
Did Tim breathe during that?... No, no he did not. Does he care?.. Kinda because now he feels even more dizzy than before.
Bruce stares at Tim for a second trying to process what he just said. Before looking down at the wrong green folder and then back up at Tim, silently asking permission to look at its secrets. After a nod from Tim he slowly opens the folder and reads, and reads again, and again, because what!?!
“Tim is this-” Bruce cuts himself off and looks back at his son who just mutely nods and worries the collar of his shirt with his nails in an attempt to not chew it “Why didn't you ever say anything” Bruce chooses to ask instead of his previous line of questioning.
“I don't know if he's alive B… and there was always so much going on… it never felt like the right time, and I know I can't look into this on my own” Tim sniffles as his tears betray him and leak down his face.
“I.. I want to know B, but I don't want to be alone in finding out. And I know that makes me self-” Tim's incoherent rambling is cut off by strong arms pulling him into the crook of someone's neck, Bruce’s neck.
“you're not Selfish for wanting your family's help with this chum” Bruce whispers into Tim's hair
Bruce allows Tim to cry, giving gentle squeezes and rubbing soothing circles into Tim’s back. Bruce gave Tim time to let out his long suppressed emotions. And as Tim sobs settled down into soft hiccups he finally asks “can you tell me what happened Chum?”
Tim takes a deep breath not quite ready to break the gentle but firm hold Bruce had on him. God he had always wanted this, this was something his parents could never give him. This is something Bruce couldn't give him for the longest time, but therapy had been helping Bruce Express himself more and realize that his kids needed touch as much as he did.
As Tim was gearing up to start telling the story, the door to the office burst open and with a flourish of his hands Dick declared “Hope I'm not interrupting anything!” and seeming to realize that he was in fact interrupting something, Dick deflated with a worried pinch to his brow taking in the scene before him. Bruce kneeling in front of the armchair with an arm full of haphazard Tim slumped in his arms. Tim turned his head to give his oldest brother a deadpan stare and he could feel Bruce doing about the same.
Dick took a couple of steps into the office lowering himself down next to the armchair to meet Tim's eyes “what's wrong baby bird?” Dick reached out a hand and rubbed the tear stains from Tim's cheek.
“Dick your eldest sister syndrome is showing” Tim snarked half-heartedly.
“Dick I don't know if this is the best time bud” Bruce starts but is interrupted by Tim drawing back to sit up straight again.
“It's fine B I don't mind if everybody knows I just wanted you to be the first to know” Tim wipes his eyes furiously with his hands to rid himself of the tear tracks despite knowing his eyes will be red and puffy for a little while.
Bruce gestures with his head towards the desk where he left the unassuming green folder. Dick gets the message and walks over to pick it up and look through its contents. At first Dick seemed confused and then he froze then frantically started rereading the simple piece of paper that was inside the folder.
After a minute of reading the paper over and over again Dick's eyes jumped up and locked onto Tim’s. A range of emotions played out on Dick's face as he absorbed the information further.
“Tim, you have a little brother?” Dick's voice broke towards the end of his sentence as he looked utterly heartbroken “where is he? Is he okay? Do we need to go get him?” Dick stammered and stumbled through his words trying to figure out what was the right thing to say.
“I don't know anything right now Dick, I was about to start telling Bruce what happened” Tim could feel the emotions working their way back up into his throat and causing him to choke a little.
Bruce finally stood and moved away from the armchair allowing room for Dick to throw himself onto his little brother. Dick wordlessly Drew Tim up out of the armchair and moved them over to the small sofa where he promptly sat them down and pulled his younger brother halfway into his lap.
After another round of tears had settled down Tim drew in a shaky breath and began his story.
“I was five and a half years old when I was told I was going to be a big brother, my mother was over the moon, she was hoping to have a girl. During the pregnancy I spent a lot of time with my parents. It was the most I ever spent with them since I was a baby myself. My father trained me to be a good big brother. He told me I'd have to be very mature for my little sibling. Some days I dreaded waking up because of him.
Towards the end of the pregnancy my mother started feeling pains in her stomach and she thought she had lost the baby. It was a scary couple of days where I saw neither of my parents. My only companion was the nanny who came to make food for me twice a day. After what felt like an eternity my parents finally returned but with no baby and my mother's belly was smaller. She assured me that I had a little brother but that he needed to stay at the doctors for a while longer.
I would later come to understand that he was born prematurely with weak lungs and a weak heart but that he was strong-willed and a fighter.
After several weeks they finally brought home my little brother, Daniel James Drake” Tim wore a sad smile at The mention of his baby brother's name.
“Not long after they brought him home my parents started leaving us again, it was only a little different, Danny had a live-in nurse who took care of him around the clock. Her name was Mary. She was nice, she would let me hold and feed Danny. She wasn't hired to but she took on the role of a living nanny for me as well. It almost felt like a real family.
When Danny's third birthday rolled around however mom and dad showed back up one day after months of being gone and told Mary to leave. Both Danny and I looked at her like a mother and were heartbroken when she was gone. I struggled the first couple of weeks without my parents there I was taking care of a three-year-old after all” Dick kept Tim tucked under his chin
“When Danny was four our parents came home and we're seething with rage. I heard my mother talking about another woman thinking she was better than everybody else, how this other couple had stolen a find from them. And how they had plans on winning it back”
Tim takes a deep shuddering breath “they were only home for a few days but as they were leaving they had a small bag packed and took Danny by his small pudgy toddler hand and walked him out the door with them. Danny protested and kept looking back at me with his sad baby blue eyes. I thought they'd be back in a couple of weeks but months went by without seeing any of them. I regret feeling jealous of Danny having gone with them this time.
But when they returned and they didn't have him I was scared. People came into the manor and started taking all of Danny's stuff out. I wasn't allowed to keep any pictures of him that I had taken on the camera my father had got me for my 8th birthday. I managed to keep that one small picture of him that I had hidden from them. I don't think they realized there was a copy of his birth certificate as well.
I don't know if he's alive or if they sold him or traded him or anything like that, all I know is I'd like to find out but I’d also like to not be the only one” Tim sank deeper into his brother's hold as dick rocks them back and forth a silent tears slipped from Tim's eyes again he could feel small damp spot on his head so he's pretty sure dick was crying as well.
“We'll find out what happened baby bird” and yep dick was crying “and if he's out there we'll bring him home” dick said that last part was so much conviction and finality.
“But… if he's happy where he is maybe we shouldn't… disturb his life” Tim wasn't sure he wanted to say those words but he felt like they needed to be said anyways.
“Whatever you want to do Chum we're here for you” Bruce laid a reassuring hand on Tim's shoulder.
After a few more minutes of cuddling on the sofa dick finally untangled himself and slipped off the couch, he puffed his chest and deepened his voice and said “To the Batcave!” with a dramatic flourish of his non-existent cape as he turned and ran out the door. Tim and Bruce both chuckled at his antics but climbed to their feet and made their way out the door after him.