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“Sampo..” It was just Sampo and Gepard lying down outside, staring up at the stars that covered the night sky. Sampo turned his head to face his beloved.
“Yes, my dear Geppie?” Sampo giggled. He loved being with Gepard. He was just so DAMN pretty!!!
Gepard looked back up into the stars. “Your music taste sucks. I’m breaking up with you.”
WHAT DID GEPPIE SAY??? Sampo sat up the moment he heard those words. “...Did you just insult Will Wood?” When that was the first thing Gepard heard from his now ex-boyfriend, he turned to look at him. Disgust forming on his pristine face.
“Do you not hear what you listen to?? Half the song is all nice and calming and then the next half is just screaming.”
Sampo could barely process what he just heard. Geppie was probably describing Suburbia Overture, which was one of his (many) favorite songs! “Geppie. Did you just describe Suburbia Overture / Greetings from Mary Bell Township! / (Vampire) Culture / Love me, Normally with a negative tone right after insulting Will Wood??”
At this point, Gepard was fully sat up. Rubbing his face from how GOOFY Sampo sounded right now, he was ready to just explode and cry and scream and die and catch fire and descend into hell and kill himself while he's in hell. “Oh my Aeons. YOU BLAST WILL WOOD FOR AN HOUR EVERY NIGHT. I CAN'T SLEEP, SAMPO KOSKI. EVERY NIGHT WHILE YOU’RE SOMEHOW PROBABLY FAST ASLEEP. I, IN THE OVERWORLD, I CAN’T SLEEP BECAUSE I KEEP HEARING ALMA MATER PLAY THE MOMENT I FEEL SOMEWHAT SLEEPY. IT IS SO OMINOUS. I’M JUST DONE WITH YOU.” and an angry Gepard was the last thing Sampo saw.
Just as Gepard said those last words, he pulled out a Remington m700 bolt action rifle and shot Sampo dead center in his forehead.
“Welp..” Sampo murmured, hanging on to life with all the strength he could muster up. “This is… well…better than the alternative.”
And with that, Sampo Koski was officially dead. Not from cancer, murder, or suicide, but from an angry Gepard Landau
Or was he?
Blinking awake, Sampo sat up to the sound of birds chirping, his alarm ringing, and Seele screaming.
“SAMPO, TURN YOUR FUCKING ALARM OFF. NONE OF US WANT TO HEAR WILL WOOD BLASTING AT 7A-FUCKING-M.”
Seele looked absolutely enraged. She probably woke up from Sampo’s alarm, LOL. Guess she isn't a Will Wood fan.
“Well I think listening to Suburbia Overture by Will Wood, at the timestamps 3:00 to 5:08 is a wonderful way to wake up in the morning!” he pouted, defending his alarm.
“Well, Sampo. Literally NO ONE else does. Mom now wears noise canceling headphones to sleep so she doesn't hear your alarm. I wake up EARLY so I don't have to wake up from that. And Veritas literally goes to work EARLY TO AVOID HEARING IT. I DON’T KNOW HOW DAD PUTS UP WITH IT BUT THE REST OF US ARE DONE WITH YOUR DAMN ALARM.” Seele yelled, screaming at the top of her lungs.
Maybe if everyone hates his alarm that much, Seele could just be his alarm instead with how loud she is.
For a solid 8 minutes, Seele kept pacing around Sampo’s room, yelling about how weird Sampo's music taste was. At this point he was beginning to tune out Seeles yapping. He just wanted to be with he/him/himself. Omg is that a Will Wood reference?
“YOU LITERALLY HAVE A SKELETON IN YOUR ROOM. HOW IS THAT A WILL WOOD REFERENCE??” Seele screached, pointing to the skeleton in the corner. “Aw but Seeleeeeee. I got that for skeleton appreciation day!!” Seele just shook her head at that.
“See, the songs you listen to are just so weird.. and the artists too?! Like, the skeleton is a reference I get that but you literally took a tile from the kitchen and just lay on it occasionally??? Is that a reference too??” Sampo, seeing this as a chance to start YAPPING!! took this opportunity.
“Oh yeah it's a reference to Against The Kitchen Floor.” He said with a smirk, just knowing this would piss Seele off.
“OH MY AEONS. IS EVERYTHING IN YOUR ROOM A REFERENCE??? WHAT ABOUT THAT.” Seele pointed directly at Sampo’s ceiling fan. Strapped onto it was a baby doll with the rainbow infinity autism sign printed on paper and taped to it’s forehead.
Sampo already knew he had said enough. He said everything he needed to, to let Seele figure out the rest. All he needed to do was smirk.
And that small smirk he gave, was enough to send Seele into the Overworld.
“UGH. I HATE YOU.” Seele screamed, storming out of Sampo's room.
Just as Seele was about to leave, though. Seele felt a hand grab the back of her shirt. She fell and hit the floor, even more pissed than she already was.
“My dear sister, you may be done with your questions, but I have one for you. Seele, tell me.” Seele was beyond annoyed at this point but decided to spare him one last question.
“Have you ever died in a nightmare?”
