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Finrod was glad to walk in Valinor once more. He was reunited with his parents and could reconnect with his friends. Of course, he missed his siblings terribly, and wondered how they were doing.
Some of his memories of Beleriand brought him joy, others regret. Sometimes, he wondered if he should have acted and decided differently. Perhaps one of his biggest regrets were his words to Andreth. Ah, he should have allowed that union, short as it might have been! Better a few decades of bliss than none at all. Aegnor’s longing had been palpable, the way his eyes had always followed her had betrayed everything. Yet he had not disobeyed his older brother and king.
He wondered if his fate was punishment for that decision. He had deprived Aegnor and Andreth of their love, and now the same fate had befallen him. Glad was he, yet the yearning for his own love tore at his heart.
For a moment, he envied Man's ability to have multiple partners in their lifetime. Then, he chided himself. He will wait. He was an Elf, he could be patient.
That night, Finrod slept deeply. The crashing waves could be heard through the open windows. The door opened and a tall woman entered, her black hair falling down her back unadorned and unbraided.
“I am dreaming.”, Finrod said, and a small smile stole on his lips. The woman laughed, the deep and rich sound was music to his ears.
“You should laugh more often.”, he said and Kazaheril rolled her eyes.
“You are ridiculous.”, she said, sitting down beside him and tracing his cheek with her thumb.
“I am in love.”, Finrod replied and shyness stole over her face, cheeks richening in colour.
"Sweet talker."
Finrod said nothing. He admired her, the colour of her skin, the shape of her eyes, the fullness of her lips, the arch of her nose, the curve of her cheekbones and the deep orange of her eyes.
“You are beautiful.”, he confessed.
“What is it with you tonight?”, Kazaheril asked, idly playing with a strand of his golden hair.
“I am choking on emotion. I miss you terribly.”, he quietly confessed and took her hand, intertwining their fingers.
“I miss you too.”
“You do?”
“Of course, silly elf.”
“Come closer, I wish to kiss you.”
Something flickered over Kazaheril's face, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. She joined him on the bed and he sat up. Lovingly, he tucked a strand behind her ear, and he frowned.
“Your hair feels different.”
“My hair is as it always is.”, Kazaheril said. “Did you not want to kiss me?”
“Yes.”, Finrod breathed, pushing aside the uneasiness. He could feel her breath on his face, and when their lips met at last -
-there was nothing. Finrod opened his eyes in panic. Kazaheril was still in front of him, her eyes pitiful.
“You are forgetting me.”
“No. I would never.”
“Nothing lasts forever, silly elf, that includes memories.”
Finrod shook his head in denial.
“I would not forget you.”, he repeated. Kazaheril laid a hand over his heart.
“This may remember, but emotions are more easily remembered than images. Do not weep.”
“How can I not? Kaz, I beg you, do not leave.”
Kazaheril leaned against the bedpost.
“I'm not real, silly elf. I'm just a figment of your imagination, born from your desire and longing. I'm a dream, nothing more. I'll be gone when you wake.”
Kazaheril looked at her hand. “Which is now.”
“Do not leave.”, Finrod said and grabbed her hand. His hand went through her own. Kazaheril smiled sadly.
“I told you: I'm merely a figment of your imagination.”
Then, she was gone.
Finrod woke with a gasp and drenched in sweat. Ithil was still high in the sky. A shaking hand covered his mouth and he felt nauseous. He no longer remembered what she tasted like. He no longer remembered the feeling of the texture of her hair. He got up and walked over to the paintings.
Valar, have mercy. Do not let me forget her.