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He leaned against the bed frame, knees pulled up, resting the book he had checked out from the library, on top. He slowly thumbed through the pages till he turned to the one with a folded down corner. He cleared his throat, taking a glance over at the boy next to him. Jonny was next to him, head tilted back to meet the bed frame behind him. He closed his eyes waiting for Pony to start reading.
Pony smile a bit, licking his lips as he finally began to read out loud. He missed this a lot, as he started flipping through the pages he felt Johnny slowly sink into him as time went on. His eyes had cracked open and his head was resting on Pony’s shoulder to scan the words with him. He didn’t mind, they had sat like this plenty of times before. His shoulder, where Johnny was resting his head, slowly started to grow warm, his arms both buzzed a bit as Johnny took a deep breath and pressed his head into Pony’s shoulder.
He blinked a few times and dropped his hands to shake away the cramp forming from holding the book for too long. He took a glance over to Johnny who was still looking down at the pages. Ponyboy scanned the paper, trying pick up where he had left off, ignoring the feeling of warm, sort of molasses or honey like sensation, pooling in his gut. As he turned the page he felt his right hand, which had been lying flat next to him, slowly interlock with Johnnys. He stopped and looked over to their hands, Johnny squeezed his hand, finally looking at him.
The two smiled a bit before he turned his head and went back to reading. Every now and then Johnny would squeeze his hand or start to run his thumb across his knuckles. As if he was now more focused on Ponyboys hand rather than the actual book. After a few moments his eyes slid shut, his breathing settling to deep, slow breaths. Pony seemed to noticed after a few moments, folding the corner of the book and placing it onto the bedside table. When he twisted back to Johnny he was met with a gentle squeeze of his hand. Watching as Johnny smiled and sleepily opened his eyes a bit.
“Tired?” Ponyboy titled his head as he started to rub his thumb over Johnnys hand like he did to him. Johnny shrugged and pulled his head off Pony’s shoulder.
“sm’thing like that,” he closed his eyes as he leaned up into a stream of light that poured in from the window, “think ‘m just comfortable,” he blinked a few times and dragged his gaze over to Pony, giving him a lazy smile.
Ponyboy sunk down to fully lay down, gently pulling on Johnnys hand so he would join him. With little hesitation Johnny fell next to him, turned on his side while Ponyboy looked up to the ceiling. They two laid in comfortable silence as sliver of sun that poked through began to shrink.
“Think we’re missin’ the sunset Johnnycake,” Pony watched as the pool of sunlight slowly creeped out of his room and back out the window.
“‘s fine,” Johnny mumbled, “this is better anyways,” he took a deep breath and inched closer to Ponyboy, pulling their interlocked hands up to his chest. Pony stared at him, eyes a bit wide before he turned on his side too. Johnny had his eyes closed again and was softly breathing, their hold was loose. He took the opportunity to pull their hands apart, twisting his hand and laying it flat over Johnnys chest. He smiled as he felt the soft thump of his heart. He was warm too, and with his hand on his chest he could feel each breath Johnny was taking. His own heartbeat beat loudly below his ears. He then noticed how both of their heart beats slowly seemed to synchronize, beating together.
“Worried my heart is gonna stop or s’mthin,” Johnny put both of his hands over Ponyboys, holding onto his forehead and wrist, a smile playing on his lips. After he was met with silence he cracked one eye open. The room had gotten darker and he was left with the site of Pony staring at his hand against his chest. His brows were furrowed and he bit down on his bottom lip, his hand curled to grab Johnnys shirt. He pulled down at the neckline, fingers sneaking under his shirt a bit and pressing against his flesh.
He looked up at him, face slowly flushing red as his eyes glazed over with tears. Johnny opened both eyes and widened them a bit.
“Pone?” He brought Pony’s hand away from his chest as he moved closer to him. Ponyboy clenched his jaw and rolled on his back, widening his eyes and blinking hard to try and stop himself from crying.
“God this is stupid,” he mutter and used his free hand to firmly push the heel of his palm into his eyes to stop any tears from spilling over. Johnny let go of his hand finally and propped himself up, scooting back to lean against the bed frame again.
“What’s—“ he seemed rather nervous, he always seemed nervous, “—wrong?” His eyes followed Pony as he joined him to sit up. Pony looked over at him before pulling his eyes away to stare at his hands in his lap.
“…’m sorry,” he muttered as he locked his gaze on his hands, digging his thumb into his palm. There was a beat of silence.
“For what?” Johnny now started to mess with his own hands, picking at the skin around his nails as his worried look only worsened. Pony glanced over at him, feeling guilty for ruining a good moment and freaking Johnny out.
“I—“ he started to speak but paused, licking his lips and then turning to fully face him, “I just care a lot about you,” Johnny nervousness shifted to a small bit of confusion.
“I care about you too Pone…what’s this about?” He furrowed his brows and scrunched his face up, thoroughly confused.
“Like more than anyone might think…normal,” he brought his thumb up to his mouth and started to chew on the nail.
“What’d yah mean?” He glanced down to watch as Pony chewed off what little nail he hand.
“Like—“ he took a deep breath, it came out shaky as he looked over to the wall behind a Johnny as he spoke, “—like I love you,” he finally pushed the words out, unable to bring himself to look at the boy across from him. He did hear Johnny suck in a breath before the two sat in silence. He watched in the corner of his eye as Johnny looked down in his lap, still picking at the skin around his nails.
“…I think I love you too,” he finally muttered out, causing Pony to snap his attention back towards him. Johnny face was flushed and he was glancing over to Ponyboys door like someone would walk in any movement, having heard them. The two locked eyes again, both clearly nervous.
“I dunno anything about liking another guy..but listening to how the others describe what it’s like to like a girl, I think it’s fair to say I like you,” he kept his eyes trained on Pony, swallowing in a way that looked painfully. Signifying that his throat must feel as tight and trapping as Pony’s.
“I wouldn’t do any of the stuff we do with the other guys…read story’s, talking about a life together, somewhere far away where it’s just the two of us,” he ran his hand through his hair, “I mean I sure as hell love the other guys but it just don’t feel like the same way I feel ‘bout you.” He finally pulled his eyes away as the two fell into silence once more.
“Sound a little bit like a queer there Johnny,” Ponyboy joked, trying to break the tension. It worked, Johnny rolled his eyes and shoved him back a little.
“Ass,” he muttered and twisted himself to fall back against the headboard. Pony let a smile spread across his face as he leaned back against the bed frame with him, still facing him. They stayed quiet again before Johnny looked over at him.
“So what do we do now..I mean, I don’t think anyone gonna take to kindly to the idea of us,” he pulled the conversation back to a serious one. Pulling his hand out of his lap and interlacing his fingers with Pony again.
“Yeah..’s fine though, I don’t—“he cringed at the idea of pouring his feelings out, really ruining the idea of a tough image, “I don’t need anyone else to know, don’t think we need to take each other out…I feel like this is enough, jus’ being around you, being close to you.” he scrunched his face up and turned over to sit with his back pressed against the wood. Johnny huffed out a laugh and looked forward with him.
“s’pose you’re right, it’s comfortable,” he pulled back to his previous statement, giving Pony’s hand a gentle and reassuring squeeze. Pony felt his throat close up a bit, his stomach growing warm, his head becoming light and fuzzy. He felt Johnny rest his head on his shoulder again before yawning and shifting their arms so they were intertwined as they held hands.
“Which is good too cause I don’t needa be spending money to take you out,” he laughed softly as Ponyboy smacked his leg. He leaned his head back against the wall and watched as the moon gently provided a soft glow through the curtains. He smiled and titled his head back down for a quick second, he pressed a kiss into Johnnys hair before leaning back again.
While it was never something they could share with anyone else, it was fine. They only wanted it to be for them anyways, it was only meant for them. Johnny mouth fell open slightly, soft breaths leaving his lips, showing he had finally slipped off to sleep. Pony smiled a bit at the sensation and closed his eyes to drift off to sleep with him.