Chapter Text
“Place another order of smoke grenades.” Team Leader Kim Rok Soo sat behind his desk, Assistant Team Leader Ha facing him with a pen and notebook in hand.
“Another one? But… “ the older man winced.
The Company understood that supplies were necessary, but the woman in charge of logistics hated waste. She would absolutely make their lives miserable if she thought they were being wasteful. From the dark looks she gave him and the muttering under her breath, she already had issues with their consumption.
And they had ordered smoke grenades just the week before.
“We used too many in the fight against those Ice Frogs.”
Ha DoYoon sighed and made a note. “Is there anything else we need for next week’s mission, sir?”
Despite his complaints, he was impressed with how much Kim Rok Soo had grown since taking over as Team Leader. He was still extremely young for the position, but he carried himself with the confidence and surety that only came from command.
Kim Rok Soo sat back in his chair and contemplated the question. Legal guilds required regular inspections to ensure they were doing their job correctly, and the Pae guild was due. It should be a routine mission, just like every other inspection.
Still, something felt… off. He mentally pulled up the reports from previous inspections. On the surface everything appeared straightforward.
The Pae Guild.
They had been operating in their area since the cataclysm. The guild leader was brother to the leader of the local shelter, who was thus leader of the local government. There had been a major incursion by some monsters a few years prior, but that was not surprising. Monsters were still randomly appearing all over the place.
It was nothing new.
There was an odd note about someone who had approached the previous inspection team. They had apparently requested a meeting and then... disappeared.
He frowned.
“Tell Lee Minho he’s going.”
“Lee Minho?” Ha DoYoon raised his eyebrows. Lee Minho’s ability was useful for communicating between different units, but inspections rarely required a communication ability like that. There was nothing wrong with bringing him, it’s just… why single him out?
“Is there a problem?” Kim Rok Soo's face remained cold and impassive.
Ha DoYoon let out another sigh. “No, nothing. That punk could use a bit more experience with inspections. I’ll let him know.”
Kim Rok Soo nodded and pulled another report closer. “That will be all then.”
Ha DoYoon stood to leave. As he opened the office door he paused.
“Team leader-nim, don’t forget it’s the weekend! Some of the team are going to meet up at that new restaurant that just opened...”
Kim Rok Soo waved him off. “Not this time, I still have some work to do.”
Ha DoYoon walked out the door.
After it closed, he shook his head and muttered to himself. “Work, work, work. All you do is work.”
A few hours later.
Kim Rok Soo looked at the time and laid his pen down.
Time to go.
He had finished the monthly supply request, the training schedule, and had even reviewed the latest recording of another monster attack.
He silently gathered his things, turned off the lights, and locked the door.
Tedious though the paperwork was, it was a useful distraction. If he didn’t have something to do…
He shut that thought down.
He had grown practiced at suppressing his records over the past year.
Still, he could feel them, a pressure just waiting to be released.
Just a thought away.
When he had a mission or paperwork to do, he could ignore them. Pretend they weren’t there.
It was moments of silence, moments where there was nothing to distract him, that he felt their presence.
Then there were moments that sliced through everything.
His team would be joking around or talking about their weekend - and he’d suddenly remember a similar moment.
A bright laugh, as Choi Jung Soo cracked a joke.
A quiet chuckle from their team leader.
He would see his team smiling and laughing, and felt like there was an invisible wall between them.
Over there was light and life, whereas he was drowning in water and invisible weights were pulling him deeper.
Everyone was going around living their lives like normal, and it didn’t feel real.
Sometimes he wished he could just stop. Stop going through the motions. Stop acting like anything really mattered any more. But…
‘I leave it to you’
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
In.
And out.
A few minutes later they opened, and he calmly walked out the door.
He pushed the thoughts away long enough to make his way home.
Click.
The sound of the light switch was loud in the quiet house.
That was one of the things he’d gotten used to after the cataclysm.
Cars were still not very common, and television and radios were mostly used to share important information.
There was almost no sound.
Kim Rok Soo sighed and quietly lay down on the floor.
There, he finally released his hold on his memories.
Let himself think about the only thing that truly felt real.
He breathed in and out, and let the memories overwhelm him.
Remembered everything that happened that day.
The day everything went wrong.
Some time later, he slowly opened his eyes. He washed his face and grabbed a dry ration bar.
He barely tasted anything, but he knew he had to eat or he wouldn’t be able to do what needed to be done.
He suppressed the memories yet again, and finished his routine.