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Rose-colored boy
Awsten’s red hair has faded to a pinkish wash out. His roots are the same brown that Geoff remembers from when they first met, minus the bleach patches. It’s getting too long now, well past his ears. Awsten keeps getting frustrated trying to keep it out of his eyes, but he refuses to tie it up because he says it gives him a headache. He also won’t let Geoff near him with a pair of scissors.
The thing that upsets Geoff the most, honestly, is Awsten’s hair. Everything else - the destruction of the world, the monsters, the corpses lining the streets - are too big concepts for Geoff to deal with. Things like Awsten not being able to keep his hair the way he wants it gets to him, especially because of how much effort he used to put into it. It isn’t right. Awsten should have everything he wants and more.
I hear you making all that noise about the world you want to see
They’re sitting on the flat roof of a corner store, out of reach of the monsters. Awsten is studying a map intently, hyperfixated on plotting their route. He can't sit still, so he’s kicking his legs over the edge of the roof and tracing streets with his finger. Geoff is no help with these sorts of things, so he sits quietly while Awsten figures it out.
“I think if we go up here.” Awsten points to a street on the map. “We can cut out where that big fire was a couple of weeks ago. There’s probably a bit of a herd around there, because of all the noise.”
“Mhm.” Geoff stares off into the distance, not really paying attention.
He’s watching a zombie repeatedly walk into a parked car as it tries to navigate around it. For some reason, it reminds him of an NPC in a video game. One with bad pathfinding. From this distance, they almost look like a human. Geoff wants to go and help them, this disoriented person walking into every obstacle.
But they’re already dead, so he can’t.
“Yeah, and then we can get on the highway and that’ll take us out of the city. I don’t think we should stick to it, though. It’ll be full of abandoned cars, zombies can hide under them.” Awsten rambles. He looks over at Geoff. “Right?”
“Sure.” Geoff nods. He has no idea what Awsten is talking about, hasn’t listened to a word he has said. His eyes are still fixed on the zombie as it finally gets around the open door of the car. Did the person who opened that door and not close it get far? Are they dead now?
“We’re gonna be fine, you know?” Awsten takes Geoff’s hand and squeezes it. “Once we’re out of the city, it’ll be fine.”
And oh, I'm so annoyed
It takes everything in Geoff not to roll his eyes. Does Awsten really think that being out of the city will be any better? The whole world is dead, or on fire. None of it will ever be better. It’s just shit.
‘Cause I just killed off what was left of the optimist in me
Geoff used to believe it would get better, but now he doesn’t. He tried to stay positive in the beginning, to stay optimistic about their situation. He doesn’t want to anymore. The apocalypse has made him angry and resentful. Everyone he ever cared about is dead, and he reserves the right to be pissed off about it.
Except Awsten. He still has Awsten.
But hearts are breaking, and wars are raging on
Another fire has broken out on a block in their path. They have no idea where these fires are coming from, who’s setting them or why they happen. It seems every building in Houston wants to spontaneously combust.
Awsten thinks the zombies are spreading it, but the pattern of fire doesn’t make sense. None of this makes sense. Geoff is sick of trying to figure it out.
It means they have to divert a few blocks over so they can pass it. The last thing they need is third degree burns. Geoff follows Awsten dutifully as he reorients himself on the map. He isn’t paying attention to where they’re going, alternating between staring at the ground and checking behind them for zombies. Awsten talks, but Geoff isn’t listening.
“Hey.” Awsten snaps his fingers in front of Geoff’s face, snapping him out of his daze. “Did you hear what I just said?”
“No, sorry.” Geoff admits. He was wondering what happened to all the domestic animals since the apocalypse started. “What’s going on with the map?”
Awsten huffs. “I said, there’s a clear path through here. I also said I love you, but whatever.”
“Oh, shit, sorry baby. I love you too.” Geoff wraps an arm around Awsten’s shoulders and kisses him on the head. “Sorry, I was keeping a lookout.”
“It’s okay.” Awsten squeezes him in his arms. “Come on, I think there’s a gas station along our new route. They might have some food left.”
And I have taken my glasses off
As much as the big things don’t bother him, Geoff can’t get over the smaller things. The single, lonely shoes lying dirty and alone in the middle of the road. The children’s car seats still in the back of abandoned cars. A zombie crawling along the ground, missing its legs but with signs of bandages on the stumps. Someone cared to try and patch them up, but weren’t around long enough to put them out of their misery.
Geoff notices it all. Awsten is too busy looking at his map and insisting they’re going to be fine. None of this is fine.
This is a nightmare.
You got me nervous
“I think if we keep heading North, get out of Texas, we might find more people.” Awsten says.
They’re curled up on a bed, in an abandoned home in the suburbs outside the city. The door is barricaded with a chest of drawers but Geoff is on edge anyway. He doesn’t sleep much anymore. He’s too scared of what might come looking for them.
“Why do we want to find people? You know the only people left are probably psychotic murderers.” Geoff bites his thumbnail, trying to soothe himself. The last thing he wants is to see a person out here.
“We need to find a settlement, or we’re gonna end up wandering forever. You know not everyone in the apocalypse wants to kill people. I certainly don’t.” Awsten buries himself further into Geoff’s chest. “It’ll be alright, baby.”
“You keep saying that.” Geoff mumbles.
I'm right at the end of my rope
Geoff knows he has a point at which he can’t take anymore bullshit. He reached it regularly on tour when he had spent too much time around people and noise and bright lights. Everyone knows to just put him in a darkened room and let him cool off without being disturbed.
There’s no shortage of dark rooms in the apocalypse, but Geoff doesn’t have a moment to spare. They have to keep moving, keep fighting, keep living. Sometimes he doesn’t want to anymore, but he does.
He stays alive for Awsten to have the chance to dye his hair again.
A half empty girl
He feels like one of the zombies, stumbling around aimlessly. Following Awsten in the hopes of salvation. His head hurts all the time. Sometimes his eyes unfocus and he can’t process anything he’s seeing. Nothing matters except carrying on, and Awsten.
Don't make me laugh, I'll choke
“Hey.” Awsten loops his arm through Geoff’s. “Remember when Otto fell out of his bunk on the tour bus and screamed so loud when he hit the ground that he woke everyone up.”
Geoff laughs. “Yeah, I- I-” He tries to carry on the reminiscing, but he remembers that he has no idea if Otto is alive or not. When he tries to breathe, it gets caught in his throat. Suddenly, he’s sobbing his eyes out.
“Oh, Jesus, sweetheart.” Awsten pulls him into a hug. “What’s wrong?”
“I hate this. I can’t do it anymore.”
I want you to stop insisting that I'm not a lost cause
“You’re gonna be fine, baby. We both are. I believe in our ability to not fuck this up.” Awsten kisses him on the cheek.
“Maybe.” Geoff mumbles, but he doesn’t really believe it.
'Cause I've been through a lot
So much has happened that Geoff doesn’t think he’ll ever be alright again. All their friends are missing, probably dead. They watched people get eaten alive in broad daylight. Some of the situations they got themselves in, they barely got out of.
Geoff should be dead. He feels that in his bones. After all, why is he alive, and not everyone else? Why does Awsten still put up with him when he’s so fucking miserable?
Really all I've got is just to stay pissed off
So yeah, he’s angry, and he’s upset, and he would like to stay that way for a while. No amount of positivity from Awsten will fix that.
If it's all right by you
“I don’t feel good.” Geoff mumbles. He doesn’t know how else to describe it.
“I know, baby. Once we’re out of the city, it’ll be better.” Awsten insists, and Geoff wants to throttle him
Leave me here a little bit longer
“Can I just… have a minute? Please.” Geoff rubs his eyes. “I can’t do this right now.”
“What do you mean?” Awsten asks. “Are you hurt?”
I think I wanna stay in the car
“No, I just… I need a break.”
“We don’t really have time for a break. We need to get out of the city.”
I don't want anybody seeing me cry now
“Please.” Geoff begs, tears rolling down his face again. “I can’t do this anymore.”
Awsten rubs his back. “Sure, you can, baby. Come on, it’ll be fine.”
“I can’t, Awsten, I’m so fucking tired.”
You say, "We gotta look on the bright side"
“Look on the bright side, sweetheart. We’re nearly there.”
I say, "Well, maybe if you wanna go blind"
“If I look at any more brightsides, it’ll blind me.” Geoff wipes his eyes.
You say my eyes are getting too dark now
“You used to be so optimistic.” Awsten mumbles.
But boy, you ain't ever seen my mind
“Corpses are walking the street. Forgive me for not seeing the good in that.”
Just let me cry a little bit longer
Awsten sighs. “Right, okay. We’ll find a house and we’ll rest for a day.”
“But-”
“Clearly we aren’t going to get anywhere with you in this state. So let’s take a day and see if that helps.”
I ain't gon' smile if I don't want to
“That isn’t going to fix me.” Geoff says. “I’m still going to be miserable.”
“I know. I’m miserable too, you know.” Awsten says. “I just refuse to let it get to me.”
Hey, man, we all can't be like you
“I can’t do that. Everything out here gets to me. I don’t know how you survive it.” Geoff presses their foreheads together.
Awsten shrugs. “I don’t really have a choice. If I let it get to me, I would die. And I don’t want to do that while I still have you to look after.”
I wish we were all rose-colored too
Geoff smiles weakly. “I wish I could believe everything is going to be okay like you do.”
“That’s alright.” Awsten takes his hand and laces their fingers together. “I’ll be optimistic enough for the both of us.”
My rose-colored boy
“I’m glad I have you.” Geoff whispers.
“No matter what happens, you’ve always got me.” Awsten promises, his pink hair glowing like a halo in the sunlight.