Work Text:
Eddie was sitting with Buck on a couch and watching a movie when it finally happened. After two months of silence his phone rang and when he saw his son’s name spelled in bold letters on the screen, he almost dropped the device on the floor from how fast he tried to swipe his finger to take the call.
“Chris, hi.” He said a little too loudly and saw Buck shift on the couch and scoot closer to Eddie with interest.
Unlike Eddie, Buck has actually heard from Chris regularly and thank God for that. Without his best friend's updates, Eddie would go more insane than he already did.
There was silence on the other side of the line and Eddie was scared that Chris didn’t mean to call him and that he would hang up without saying a word. He held his breath and patiently waited for any sign that Cristopher was there.
“I’m still mad at you.” Chris said after a full minute of silence.
Those were the first words he had heard from his kid in two months and he felt his heart breaking a little bit more, but he also sighed with relief at hearing anything from Chris at all. He didn’t realize how much he missed the kid’s voice. The fact that Cris sounded so much more mature now than he did when he left made his heart ache. He already missed so much of his son’s development when he was little, he hated that, because of his stupid and selfish actions he now missed out on even more.
“I know.” He whispered to the speaker. The grip he had on his phone made his hand go numb, but he didn’t care. All that mattered right now was Chris. “I understand.” He said a little louder.
“I’m still mad, but I miss my friends.” Chris continued. “I miss Buck and y-“ He stopped himself, but
Eddie could have sworn that Chris was about to end that sentence with ‘you’.
He desperately wanted to have his hopes confirmed, but knew he didn’t have any right to ask that of Chris.
“We all miss you.” He said instead and hated how raw his voice sounded.
“Can you pick me up?” Chris asked and Eddie’s heart almost jumped out of his chest.
He stood up and with all the thoughts racing through his mind of what to do first and all the ringing in his ears he almost didn’t reply.
“Of course, yeah. Of course I will.” He said. “When?”
“Now?” Chris said a little bit more quietly than the rest of the conversation.
“Yeah, bud. I will check the flights and be there as soon as I can.”
“Okay.” Chris said and hung up without saying goodbye.
Eddie started to pace his apartment. He needed to pack, he needed to call Bobby to get time off work, he needed to find a flight to El Paso.
He didn’t know how much he should pack. Would Chris want to stay a little bit in Texas before coming back to LA or maybe there would be no flight back. Maybe there would be no flight that Eddie could take now. He could always drive there, but it would take way longer and then he would have to leave his car there, because the journey back wouldn’t be comfortable for Chris. What if Bobby wouldn’t let him get the time off. He would have to just quit his job, but then he would have no way of supporting Chris and what if Cris changed his mind and-
“Breath.” Buck’s gentle tone and his hand on Eddie’s shoulder brought him back to the present.
“You’re going to pass out if you don’t.”
Eddie felt himself relax a little bit. These past two months had proved that even though his jello method worked wonders on his panic attacks, Buck’s touch was ten times better.
“Chris wants me to pick him up.” Eddie said after regaining his ability to breathe.
He looked over to Buck and was greeted with a blinding smile.
“That’s good.” Buck said and made his way to a laptop that was lying on the dining table. “You go pack and I’ll look for a flight for you. I’ll call Bobby to get you time off after.” He said not looking at Eddie.
For a moment Eddie stood there frozen in wonder. What he did to deserve the man sitting in front of him, he had no idea, but he was never more grateful than for the fact that he could call that man his best friend, his person, even.
He quickly pushed these feelings away. There was no time to dwell on them. Chris wanted to come back home and there was nothing more important right now than making it happen as soon as possible.
Eddie went into his bedroom and threw a couple of things into his bag. He wasn't sure what exactly he was even packing. He wasn’t thinking clearly. He just needed to get to the airport like yesterday. The clothes didn’t matter. He could buy new ones if he didn’t have enough.
His passport on the other hand was far more important and he could have sworn that it was supposed to be in the first drawer, but even after throwing everything away from all of the drawers there was no sign of it.
He started panicking again. Leave it to him to fuck up the relationship with his son even more, because he lost his passport. Chris wouldn't forgive him after being let down again. Eddie would never see him again and he would simply not survive that.
Even though for the last two months he was slowly getting to know himself better and learning who he was as his own person he still couldn't imagine his life without Chris in it permanently. That kid was his soul and he refused to live without him.
“Wow, Eds.” Buck said while walking into the bedroom. “Has there been an earthquake that I haven’t noticed?” He added a little playfully, but Eddie could hear the worry in his voice.
“I can’t find my passport.” He replied.
He opened his wardrobe and was about to throw everything out too, but a gentle hand on his shoulder stopped him.
“Buck, let go. I can’t fly without my passport.” He said desperately trying to get away, but Buck’s hand only tightened in its hold.
“Good thing then that you put your passport on the shelf closest to the front door in the living room almost immediately after Chris left to have quick access to it.” Buck said softly.
Eddie sighed with relief. He forgot that he did that. Thank God for Buck, he thought once again and made his way to the living room.
“I called you an uber, because you’ll have to be at the airport in like an hour.” Buck said and Eddie felt relief overtaking him at the prospect of seeing his son so soon. “I called Bobby and he managed to convince one of the firefighters on B-shift to cover for you if someone will cover for them today. That's why I’m not driving you to the airport. The shift starts in an hour.”
“Buck, you don't have to do that for me.” Eddie said suddenly feeling guilty that Buck was solving all his problems at his own expense.
“Eddie, trust me. I’m doing this as much for you as for me. I miss that kid like crazy, please bring him home.” Buck said with so much emotion dripping from every word that Eddie felt his heart skipping a beat.
They were staring at each other in silence and it felt charged with something Eddie couldn’t name. Buck took a step closer and then another. Just as Buck opened his mouth to say something, there was a loud notification on his phone and it made both of them jump a little.
Buck cleared his throat and looked at his phone. “The uber driver is here.” He said quietly. “You should go.”
Eddie felt the rush and worry return to his body with double the force. He grabbed his bag and keys and checked one more time for his passport. He then leaned close to Buck and put a soft kiss on the blonde’s lips without thinking about it.
“Thank you, Buck. I’ll let you know when I land.” He said and was out the door the next second.
***
Buck stood in Diaz's house that he had grown accustomed to a long time ago calling his home in his head and he felt completely paralyzed. The only part of his body he was able to move was his hand and even that had a narrowed range of movement. He only managed to raise it up to touch two fingers to his lips.
Lips that mare second ago were shortly pressed against Eddie’s. Eddie had kissed him. His best friend Eddie had kissed him. His straight best friend Eddie had kissed him.
Buck wasn’t blind. He knew that Eddie was a very attractive man. He knew that he had probably had a crush on him when he first met him and that was a reason why he acted like a spoiled brat back then. He also knew that he loved Eddie like no one he has ever loved before. That Eddie was his person, his soulmate, his everything.
So Buck wasn’t blind, but he sure as hell was oblivious, because until Eddie kissed him he had no idea that those two things he knew were in any way related to each other. He had no idea that his feelings weren’t platonic. Now looking back he had no clue how he could miss it.
He was in love with Eddie Diaz and he had it real bad for him.
And Eddie had kissed him. Just like that, just a small press of the lips, nothing special, yet it was the best kiss of Buck’s life. Oh, how he hoped it was the last first kiss of his life.
Oh God, he was so in love, it would kill him if it turned out to be just a mistake on Eddie’s part. Buck knew that the other man was probably not planning on doing that, but still Buck was hoping that he didn't regret it.
What if Eddie would just act like nothing happened once he came back. Buck didn't even know when Eddie would come back, if he would ever come back.
No, that was stupid. Of course Eddie was coming back. Chris wanted to come back. Buck wouldn't lose them, at least not to the distance.
He could still lose them if Eddie would realize what he had done and wanted to avoid Buck because of it.
No, he wouldn’t. Buck was like almost one hundred percent sure of that. They survived far worse together than this small possible hiccup in their relationship.
Buck now knew he was in love and that Eddie was it for him. It didn't mean that he was it for Eddie, but he would have to make do if that was the case. He would have to survive it and he would learn how to live with all of these feelings that were threatening to overflow.
The most important thing for him was to be by Diaz boys’ side. He would take them in any way they were willing to have him and he would hold on to them as long as he could.
***
Eddie stood at the front door of his childhood home and just now realized that he wasn’t even sure that his parents knew he was coming. He texted Chris as soon as he entered the uber, but he didn't know if Chris passed on the massage.
The confused look on his mother's face as she opened the door for him answered that silent question for him.
“Eddie, what are you doing here?” She asked, surprised.
“Chris asked me to pick him up.” He replied, almost jumping out of his skin with excitement about seeing his son again.
“When are we leaving?” Chris asked stepping in front of his grandmother and Eddie wanted to get down to his knees right then and there to envelop him in a hug.
“Hi, bud.” He said with tears gathering in his eyes. “We can take the flight in five hours or in two days.”
“Five hours.” Chris replied, not really looking at his dad and Eddie felt his heart break a little.
“Christopher, what is the meaning of this?” His mom asked angrily.
“I want to go home.” He replied, not very kindly and it took Eddie of gourd.
Chris was getting more mean the older he got, because of entering his rebellious stage, but he was always nice to his grandparents. He adored them and Eddie had never heard him sound like that while talking to them.
“Christopher. That’s not a tone you use while speaking to your grandmother.” He scolded his son.
“Whatever.” Chris replied and made a move to turn around, but Eddie stopped him.
“No, not whatever.” Eddie replied calmly. He was scared that he was about to ruin his chance at getting his son back, but he couldn’t stop raising him right out of fear. “Apologize.”
“Why should I?” Chris asked while raising his eyebrow and looking at Eddie for the first time. As soon as he did he bursted out laughing. “Dad,” he managed to say through the tears gathering in his eyes and Eddie was even more confused, “what is that on your face?”
Eddie touched a hand to his face and was met with the mustache that was resting above his upper lip. He smiled a little, forgetting for a moment that he was in the middle of reprimanding his son. He had missed that laugh so much and couldn’t help, but laugh at himself.
“What?” He asked. “You don't like it?”
Chris laughed even harder and almost fell to the floor from the force of it. He shook his head, not being able to form any words from how much he was laughing.
He looked so free and happy like that. He looked like a little kid again and Eddie’s chest was filled with love and affection towards his son.
“Buck said it looks nice.” He said with a shrug of his shoulder and the mention of Buck had Chris’s laugh dying down immediately.
That was weird. Eddie knew for a fact that Chris kept in touch with Buck and there was no reason why the mention of the man would have that effect on him.
He saw his mother making a weird face next to him and he felt a deep need to get to the bottom of it. It turned out he didn't have to do much, because his mother’s next words answered all of his questions.
“You should not let a man like that have any influence on you.” She said with a huff and Eddie saw red.
“What do you mean ‘a man like that’?” He asked as calmly as he could manage with the anger rising deep in his stomach.
“She means Buck’s sexuality.” Chris said, looking as angry as Eddie felt.
“Has she been saying things about Buck to you?” He asked Chris and his son nodded. “Is that why you were being mean to her?” Chris nodded again.
“‘She’ is right here, Edmundo.” His mother said angrily. “I will not apologize for looking after my boys. That man is not good for either one of you.”
Eddie swallowed hard and put his hands into tight fists. He had to count to ten in both English and Spanish and it still didn't manage to calm him down, so he didn’t look at his mother in fear of what would come out of his mouth.
“Chris, pack your things.” He said and took out his phone to call an uber to the airport.
“Eddie.” His mother said with disbelief, but the sharp look Eddie sent her way silenced her immediately.
He could take a lot of crap from his parents, but he would be damned if he stood for them insulting Buck.
Buck.
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.
He kissed Buck. Or maybe his mind was playing tricks on him.
It was hours ago, how could he have just realized that now?
He was straight.
Was he?
Oh God, he was not straight.
He should really stop bringing God into this mess.
He kissed Buck. It was just a small press of lips, but it was still a kiss. Eddie wanted to do it again and again and again, but firmer, stronger, with purpose this time.
The loud sound of the croches brought him back to the present and he silently took Chris’s backpack from him.
He kissed Bcuk. He had no idea if Buck kissed him back. Buck probably had no time to kiss him back since it was so short. Would he have kissed back if it was longer?
Eddie really hoped he would.
He had to tell Chris. He couldn’t have any more secrets from the kid. It almost broke them the last time.
The uber would be here in ten minutes and Eddie had to do that before they left, so that Chris would have time to change his mind if he needed to.
“I have to tell you something.” He said while sitting next to Chris.
“I don’t want to talk to you.” Chris said, sharply.
“I know, but it is important.” He replied. “I need to tell you this, because I don’t want to have any more secrets from you.” He added and saw Chris glancing at him with interest. He swallowed and through the lump in his throat he managed to say the next words. “I kissed Buck.” He said and saw Chris’s eyes widen in surprise. “And I would like to do it again.” He whispered.
There was silence that seemed to stretch for hours. Finally Eddie heard Chris taking a deep breath.
“Will Bcuk leave?” Chris said with so much sadness in his voice.
“What?” Eddie asked in disbelief. “Of course not, why would you think that?”
“Everyone you date always leaves.” Chris said, his head hanging low in what looked like defeat.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen between me and Buck.” He said, feeling the anxiety of Buck’s possible rejection return. “What I’m sure of is what is going to happen between you and Buck.”
Chris looked up at him with tears in his eyes and a silent plea for Eddie to continue, to reassure him.
“Buck is never going to leave you. He will stay by your side as long as you’re going to want him to be there.” He said through his own tears.
Chris turned a little bit more into his direction and wiped his tears with his hands. When he looked at Eddie again there was determination in his eyes.
“You need to promise not to hurt him.” He said with a furrow in his brows.
Eddie let out a little chuckle at the fact he was basically receiving a shovel talk form his own son.
“I promise to do everything in my power not to.” He said and he meant every word.
Chris nodded and turned back around.
“Okay, in that case you can date him.” He said and Eddie’s smile was so wide it hurt a little bit.
He was glad to have his son's seal of approval, but that was not the approval that was the most important in this situation unfortunately.
“I’m still not sure if he is going to want that.” He said slowly, looking down at his shoes.
“Why not? You said you guys kissed.” Chris said, a little confused.
“Yeah, but it was kind of by accident.” Eddie replied, playing with his fingers.
Chris made a face at that and asked even more confused. “How can you kiss someone by accident? Did he laugh at your mustache so hard he accidentally fell over on top of your lips?”
Eddie laughed and felt the tension in his body loosen a little bit.
“No, I just didn’t realize I kissed him goodbye until like five minutes ago.” Eddie replied and felt very much judged by the raised eyebrows of his son.
“You’re hopeless.” Chris replied with a sigh.
***
Bcuk was standing in the LA airport and waiting for his two favorite people in the world. His shift ended an hour ago and he was exhausted, but he would be damned if he didn’t jump at the opportunity to pick them up.
He wasn’t really sure what to do with Eddie, since he didn’t know how the other man felt about the kiss. He didn’t mention it in their texts, but neither did Bcuk.
All of his anxiety went out the window the second he saw Chris. Thoughts of Eddie were replaced by the smiling face of the boy he loved as if he was his own. He practically ran through the airport to get to the kid quicker and picked him up in his arms as soon as he reached him.
He heard quiet giggles and annoyed huffs leaving the teeneager, but he didn’t care. He missed Chris so much and even though they texted pretty much every day it was not enough.
“Buuuck.” Chris said, a little annoyed. “Put me down.”
Buck did just that, even though he didn’t like the idea.
“Hi, kid.” He said with the biggest smile on his face. “How was El Paso?”
He saw Chris’s face fall and he could see Eddie tense a little and knew that there was a story there he wouldn’t like.
“I’m glad to be back.” Chris replied a little less enthusiastically than he was a minute ago.
Buck wanted to fly to El Paso himself and have a few chosen words with whoever made Chris feel bad.
“Then let’s go home.” He said, wrapping his arms around Chris’s shoulders and marveling at the fact that he wasn’t being pushed away.
Quite the opposite. Chris pushed a little closer to him even though it was bound to be uncomfortable with his croches in the way.
Buck felt his heart swell and looked at Eddie, who was wearing the fondest smile Buck has ever seen on him.
In that moment, he knew that no matter what Eddie thought about their kiss, they were going to be okay.
***
Back at home, Eddie could feel the distance that Chris kept putting between them still, but it was okay. At least he had him close physically even if Chris was not ready to let him in emotionally.
The kid didn’t leave Buck’s side though. It was so clear how much he missed the blonde and he wasn’t afraid to show it. First he helped Buck cook dinner and then sat as close to him as possible at the table and after that on the couch while watching a movie.
Eddie had no idea what was going on in the movie, because of the other two constant chatter. You would have thought that they would know everything that was going on in the other's life with the consistency of their text throughout the summer, but that didn’t stop them from sharing it all again.
Eddie was glad to have his son back and to hear his voice, but he couldn’t help the jealousy creeping up on him at the fact that Chris wasn’t talking to him.
He was glad that at least the person he was talking to was Buck. If he was going to be chosen over he was completely okay with the fact that it would be Buck.
He loved the relationship Bcuk and Chrsitopher had and couldn’t imagine a life without just sitting close to them and watching them interact.
It was finally time for Christopher’s bedtime and he reluctantly agreed to go to bed, only with the promise that Buck would be here in the morning.
Buck made his way to the kitchen to start cleaning up and before Eddie could argue that he shouldnt and do it himself, Chris stopped him with a hand on his arm.
They stood there in silence for a while, but as soon as Buck was out of earshot Chris looked at him with narrowed eyes.
“Don’t mess this up, dad.” He said and turned around after Eddie’s quiet nod.
He made his way to the kitchen and saw Buck cleaning the dishes. He smiled and propped himself on the doorframe. Buck was humming quietly under his breath and swaying a little from side to side.
Eddie was overwhelmed with the affection he felt for the man in front of him and the words rushed out of his mouth without his permission.
“I kissed you.”
Buck stopped his movements and turned around to face Eddie. The big, beautiful, blue eyes looked at him and Eddie could swear they looked right into his soul.
“You did.” Buck replied calmly and a small smile appeared on his face.
All the anxiety and fear evaporated from Eddie’s body. He took a couple steps forward to make the space between them disappear and stopped only a breath away from Buck.
“I want to do it again.” He whispered.
Buck smiled even wider and leaned in a little looking at Eddie with a glint in his eyes that made them sparkle.
“What are you waiting for then?” He asked and Eddie didn’t know the answer to that.
He surged forward and kissed Buck’s smirk off of his face. He might have only started to think about kissing Buck today, but it felt like he has been waiting ages for this very moment.
Their kiss was slow and gentle, both smiling too much for it to work, but that didn't stop them. Buck’s hands that were on Eddie’s face went a little higher and gripped his hair to get a better angel and the kiss turned more passionate. Eddie felt his knees give out a little and was glad when Bukc decided to turn them around so he was the one pressed into the counter and supported by Buck’ solid frame.
He had no idea that being manhandled would make him swoon, but he was learning all new things about himself today and didn’t mind any one of them one bit.
Buck pulled himself out of the kiss and Eddie had to suppress a whine of protest. Buck chuckled a little and put their foreheads together. For a moment they were just breathing each other’s air and Eddie had never felt so calm.
Buck pulled back a little bit more, so he could look into Eddie’s eyes and Eddie felt like he could drown in the one’s in front of him.
“I love you.” Buck whispered and Eddie felt every puzzle fall into place in his head.
He sighed with relief and closed the space between them once again to peck Buck on the lips the same way he had done the day before. He pulled back away and took Buck's face in his hands.
“I love you too.” He replied and let Buck practically collapse in his arms.
They stood there for a long time, just embracing each other in a tight hug and letting their breaths synchronize and their heartbeats mold into one.
And after two months of absolut agony and a whole life of confusion, Eddie was finally feeling like he had come home.