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The dim, warm lighting of the cafe illuminated Maxime's hazel eyes, making them almost sparkle. We had stopped here spontaneously after a quick trip to the post office to pick up some stamps. Maxime had a habit of writing letters to his so-called “friends” who were stuck at the AVL high security prison. He would use a fake name, of course, but they would all know it was him by the way he wrote. He never talked fondly of those he dealt with, and yet he still sent letters.
My thoughts were interrupted by a barista setting two small cups of coffee, a few fresh pastries, and a tray of sugar and sweeteners in front of us. I thanked her and watched as Maxime picked up a sugar cube with those tiny silver tongs, plopping it into his cup before taking his spoon and stirring it. It tinked on the sides of the ceramic in a hypnotic rhythm. I couldn't help but sneak another glance at his face as he did so. Maxime was focused, as he usually was on small tasks such as this. His glasses slid down his nose slightly and he pushed them back up without a second thought before his gaze went to me.
“You are staring at me again.”
I felt my cheeks flush. “Oh. Sorry.”
“You can't get enough of me,” he teased, then taking a sip of his coffee. He made an odd face, and then proceeded to plop a couple more sugar cubes into it. I rolled my eyes and grabbed a packet of artificial sweetener to add to my own drink. “Zis cafe is excellent, no?” he asked, picking up an almond croissant. He took a bite and gave a few chews before swallowing. “I have been wanting to come here for some time.”
I perked up slightly at his words. The way he had pointed it out as we walked made it seem like he was familiar with it. “Are you saying you've never been here?”
Maxime raised an eyebrow at me. “Is zat not what I said? Do you need a hearing aid, Lisa?”
“I can hear you just fine. It's just sweet that you waited until I was with you to check it out.”
He wrinkled his nose. “I did not wait specifically for you. I am a busy man, Lisa! I have many sings to do all ze time. It was just convenient zat I had nosing to do for ze rest of today. You just happened to have tagged along wis me like some sort of nasty little parasite!” He furiously took another bite of his croissant before setting it on his plate.
I couldn't stifle the shit eating grin that formed on my face. Maxime was always like this, and yet it never failed to amuse me. He loved me, and I knew that. But he sure as hell liked pretending he didn't. “You know, it's cute when you do that.”
“Do what?” he asked as he glared.
“Act like you don't like me,” I took the opportunity to reach over the table and snatch his croissant off his plate, much to his dismay.
“Hey!” Maxime shouted as he reached over the table to get it back. I held it just out of reach. “Give zat back! You have your own!”
“Well maybe yours tastes better,” I said as I took a large bite and raised my hand higher. He leaned over the table further, nearly knocking over our drinks in the process. He got close, but I used my free hand to push his face away before shoving the rest of his croissant in my mouth. Maxime scowled at me before sitting back down in his seat, arms crossed over his chest like an angry child. I was right. It did taste better.
“You are ze most irritating woman I've ever had ze displeasure of meeting…” he huffed. In the past that would have hurt to hear, but I knew better now. Maxime was all bark and no bite.
I handed him my untouched croissant as a consolation. “If I really was, I wouldn't be here with you right now, would I?”
A hint of a smile flashed on his lips as his eyes softened. “Eh… Perhaps,” he took another sip of his coffee. I did the same. We sat quietly for a bit after that to take time and actually enjoy what was supposed to be the calming atmosphere of a cafe at sunset.
After a while, a thought popped into my head that I couldn't ignore. “Maxime?” He looked up from the table, a slight softness to his eyes.
“Why do you keep sending letters to your, uh…” I paused, thinking of how to word it. I didn't want to accidentally give away the fact that he's an escaped convict, after all. “...former ‘coworkers’,” I exaggerated my words so he would understand what I mean. “If you don't really like them?”
He paused, looking the other way as he seemed to think about it deeply. Eventually he looked back at me. A sigh fell from his lips before he closed his eyes and furrowed his brow. “I don't have to tell you zat,” he said. There wasn't the usual bite to his voice I had come to expect.
I hesitated. This was typical Maxime stuff, sure, but I could tell something was bothering him more than usual. Despite his best efforts to hide his feelings, I could always read him like a book. My voice was soft. “You know you can trust me, Maxime.”
There was a long silence between us after this. The sound of other customers chatting quietly and the tinks and clicks of cups seemed distant. Maxime kept his gaze low, staring into his coffee. I wasn't sure how much time had actually passed but it felt like an eternity.
“I’m… Lonely. Zats all.”
He still refused to look at me. His face and shoulders were tense, and he almost seemed uncomfortable in his own skin at that moment. It wasn't like him to admit things like that to me. I always encouraged him to be open, of course, but he rarely accepted that offer. I decided to reach a hand over the table, placing it over his gingerly. I expected him to pull away, but he didn't. “Why didn't you tell me before?”
He scoffed, leaning back in his seat. “Zese aren't sings you just tell people, Lisa.”
“And why not?”
He paused as he thought about it. He then shrugged. “It's what I learned at Lycée Pas Bon,” he explained, the French name rolling off his tongue effortlessly. “Zat is just how sings were.”
Maxime had told me about his time at Lycée Pas Bon before. He seemed to both love and hate his experience. He would often go on long stories about his time there, but they would end on low notes. Considering it was a school for teens who wanted to be villains, I couldn't help but imagine what he might have been put through. He had told me of the pranks he had done to others, but refused to go into detail about what others did to him. Teens are cruel, but intentionally evil ones were probably much crueler. Before I could say anything more, Maxime stood up, grabbing his puffy, extravagant coat off the chair. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. “It's getting dark. We should head home, no?”
I looked out the window. He was correct. The sun had set without me having realized it. “Huh. I guess so.”
He nodded to acknowledge me as he then put his coat on. It swallowed him up, making him seem larger than he really was. He had a thin frame and he wasn't too tall, so it was a bit ridiculous, but I never dared to say anything about it because I knew how much he loved that coat. He walked up to the counter to pay without me. I snuck one of our uneaten pastries into my purse before I went after him, standing to his side as I watched him pull out his card. The girl at the register tried to make small talk, but he simply grunted in response. Something was bothering him, and I had a gut feeling it was what we had just been talking about. We then walked out together, and as soon as the door opened, a freezing breeze hit me right in the face. I blinked, and then noticed snowflakes gently falling from the sky that hadn't been there earlier.
“Aw crap.”
“Hmm?” he hummed, turning to look at me with a smug grin that was all too familiar. “What's wrong, eh? A bit cold for you?”
I rolled my eyes and grinned ever so slightly. Maxime had pestered me about dressing for the weather before we had left, but I was too stubborn to listen to him. Funny considering he was usually the stubborn one. “Maybe a little,” I wrapped my arms around myself for warmth.
“It's almost as if you should have listened to me,” he closed his eyes as that smug expression grew. “Being stubborn won't get you anywhere.”
I gasped slightly at his words. I was downright offended. “Says you!” I started as my teeth chattered a bit. “You're the most stubborn person I know!”
His face scrunched up into a pout. “And what makes you say zat?”
“Oh, don't play dumb!”
“I am not playing dumb! I simply cannot comprehend what you are saying,” he turned his nose up, giving me a cheeky look. “I don't understand where you get zese silly ideas from.”
I sighed in exasperation. He knew how to get on my nerves just as much as I did his, but at least he was smiling again. “You know damn well where I get them from. I mean, you just admitted to me you feel lonely, and I've known you for months now! Oh, and they're not silly. They're the truth and you know it, Maxime.”
His eyes widened under his glasses as he listened to me rant. I hadn't meant for that to spill out, but it was too late to take it back. “I already told you zat I was taught not to say such sings,” he grumbled. “Do you know what zey would do if you admitted your vulnerabilities? Zey would take advantage of zem!” He waved his hands in the air as he spoke.
“Well I'm not going to do that. You should know that by now. You've told me everything else about yourself practically. Plus we've literally had sex! There's no reason to hide yourself from me. You trying to tell me you'll show me your dick but not admit something innocent like that?”
He raised a finger and opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it and lowered the finger as he took in what I had said. I had put it in a vulgar way, but it seemed like that was the ticket to get him to understand the absurdity of all this. He sighed, seeming defeated. “OK, OK. You have caught me,” he put his hands up briefly. He didn't elaborate after that, but I felt a wave of relief. Getting him to cave like that was a rarity, and I wanted to savor it. I had pushed him enough for one night.
“That's what I thought. Now, let's go home,” I said, shivering as I increased the tightness of the grip I had on myself. My hair was covered in little snowflakes now, and so was Maxime's. He didn't seem to notice, but I sure did.
We began to walk, saying nothing to each other for a bit. The street was almost serene in how quiet it was as the piling snow dampened everything but the sound of our footsteps. The cold became more and more biting with every step, and I felt like an idiot for not just bringing a damn coat in the first place. Before I had a chance to complain, Maxime began taking his coat off. He draped it over my shoulders.
“Zere. Maybe next time you'll listen to me.”
I pulled the coat further onto myself, relishing in the warmth and the aroma. It smelled distinctly of Maxime, a mix of some fancy French cologne and that natural masculine scent of his. “Maybe I will. Thank you.”
He nodded, and we continued on our way to our apartment. I would have tried to hold his hand, but that wasn't necessary. Maxime wasn't one to show his affection much, so this was as close as I was going to get. It was baby steps into getting Maxime to show me who he really was and how much he cared, and I cherished it.
Maybe one day.