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Isla Crown, Oro nolastname, and Grimshaw alsonolastname (Grim for short because he is an edgelord) were standing on the shiny, cliffy thing on the island of Lightlark. The shiny, cliffy thing was the island itself, but no one cared. The most important thing was that Grim was angsting and Oro was standing stoically, and Isla was a blushing mess.
"You're both so hot and sexy!" she said, hands on her cheeks. She had no other way to describe these two men. "Whomever shall I choose?"
"Choose me and we will have spicy sexytimes!" Grim said, shrugging one singular shoulder as he often does. "Also, you're married to me, and I don't think I can find a divorce lawyer strong enough to get the potato-sized rock off your neck."
"Oh no!"
"On the other hand, if you choose me," said Oro with the seriousness of a ruler, because he's the king and that's it, "we can, um... actually, I don't know. The extent of our relationship was asking each other a bunch of questions and me doing your hair one time. But I can give you a lot of gold stuff."
"What a difficult decision!" Isla exclaimed. She had no face or hair or skin, as far as we know, but she was wearing a green velvet minidress with spaghetti straps and a million secret knives attached. She will not be using them, for your information, because she stabbed Grim too many times and doesn't feel like it anymore.
Grim and Oro turned to each other, crossing their arms and glaring. The ink Grim's hair spilled across his forehead dripped down to his nose, because that's what that description means.
"She should be with me!" Grim yelled.
"No, she should be with me!" countered Oro. "Why do you think you and your realm wear spiky armor all the time? See, there's a thing called the Hedgehog's Dilemma, which I know about because I'm very smart and also 500 years old, same as you. The hedgehog wants to get close to people, but he can't, because he's too spiky, so everyone stays away from him, so he's still lonely."
"Okay." Grim immediately thought of that one episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion, because of course he's watched it.
Isla continued talking to herself about which hot boy she should choose.
"Hey, wait a minute..." Oro put a hand on his chin. "Why are we even fighting over her? She's literally, like, nineteen. Why are we, two centuries old kings, interested in a girl with barely any life experience?"
"Actually, yeah. Now that you mention it, it's really weird. There's so many other options on Lightlark that are in our age range." Grim shrugged his other singular shoulder.
"Maybe we were fighting the whole time because our true loves were each other."
Grim blushed.
"Check your powers."
He nodded, then with a wave of his hand, accidentally set the entire forest that was next to them on fire. Yes there was a forest next to them. I'm pulling a secret technique I learned from Alex Aster called "not telling you things until they're relevant."
"So I do have your powers, because that's how it works on Lightlark for some reason," Grim said, still blushing.
"I think we should kiss now."
"Okay."
Grim and Oro kissed passionately and gayly, almost immediately forgetting that Isla existed.
"Hey! I'm the main character!" she yelled, stomping.
They did not pay attention to her.
Isla attempted to use any of her powers (because this story takes place after the end of Nightbane) to distract them, but she only had her Wildling powers, which did nothing against the combined fire magic of Grim and Oro. She then went back to Celeste's old house and broke more orbs, eventually realizing her necklace had disappeared.
Grim and Oro got married the next day, with Grim wearing a really spiky custom ring and Oro wearing a necklace the size of an even larger potato.