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JAMES COSTA: Yeah, I'm not seeing you taking down James. He's tall, strong, and almost definitely fights dirty, and once he's beaten you, he'll take a selfie with your battered body and post it on Instagram. Do you want to be a meme? No? Don't fight James.
LAKE MULLER: Why would you want to fight Lake? She's Lake! And even if you do want to, she will beat you. There's a beast hiding in there that you don't want unleashed. Don't fight Lake.
MIRIAM FOSTER: Even if you don't mind being known as that asshole who punches old ladies, this is Miriam we're talking about. She has like twenty hidden talents that will allow her to beat you, and then you will be that asshole who got beaten by an old lady. Don't fight Miriam.
HUNTER PAGE: Do not let those abs fool you. He canonically spent most of his time pre-Season 2 all alone at home, like a pasty nerdy loser. I don’t even know why he has abs in the first place. You got this. Fight Hunter.
FIORE RICCI: First of all, don't fight a child. That's just not kosher. Second of all, don't fight this child specifically. She will stab you, and if she can't stab you, she will bite you. Ten bucks says she's bitten people before. Even if you defeat her, the humiliation will not be worth it. Don't fight Fiore.
ELLIE PARKER: Another dirty fighter. I can't see her winning a fair fight, but she'll go for the vulnerable spots, like your eyes, or your family jewels. The real question is whether or not you want to risk pissing off Gabby...and I, for one, do not. Don't fight Ellie.
TESS MORGAN: She's not going to fight back, so you'd just be beating up a friend who only wants to help you. You monster. Don't fight Tess.
ASHLEY GRAHAM: I can honestly see Ashley be willing to fight you all in good fun. As long as you are not a villain, she'll hold back a little for the sake of a friendly sparring match. I mean, she'll still probably beat your ass, but she'll give you tips and pointers for next time! It'll be worth it in the end. Fight Ashley, for friendship!
TOM REED: Look, look, look. He might be dumb, but he has spy and police training under his belt. And also he goes to the gym regularly and has the abs to prove it. I wouldn't risk it. Don't fight Tom.
YUL KIM: Yes. Always. He cannot fight, he deserves to be fought, and if you beat him up hard enough, you might even kill him! Totally worth the jail time. Fight Yul.
GABBY NOWAK: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no. She's a crazy bitch (affectionate) who will just straight-up kill you, and you will deserve it. Don't fight Gabby.
AIDEN BROOKS: This would be a very easy fight for you to win. You could probably break him over your knee in five minutes tops. The question is, do you want to? Look at his face. And then look slightly to your right, where you will see James and Lake cracking their knuckles in a threatening manner. Lest you invoke their wrath, don't fight Aiden.
ALEC CELIK: Do not give him prep time, otherwise he might outsmart you. Just start whaling on him. He'll go down like a sack of potatoes, especially if you break his glasses and make him cry a little. Fight Alec. Jumpscare him with a fight.
GRETT CLARK: Hasn't she been through enough this season? Leave her alone. Don't fight Grett.
CONNOR BLAKE: I think you'd be surprised at his physical strength, honestly. If the comeback episode is anything to go by, he's pretty good at climbing! But he's also not going to go all out. He just wants to have a good time. Fight Connor, but do be careful, because he doesn't deserve to be actually beaten up.
ALLY AMBER: The secret to fighting Ally, much like with Alec, is to go for the glasses. Snatch them off her head and it will disorient her long enough to allow you to get the upper hand. I will always be an Ally defender, but this could help her pull herself together so she stops getting provoked so easily, so sure. Fight Ally.
RIYA SHARMA: Fucking do it. She'll fight dirty, and odds are good that she'll beat you, but for the sake of truth and justice, do it anyway. Fight Riya. I'm sick of her. Why is she in the finale again. Why can't ONC write her properly.
JAKE HAMILTON: Honestly, for the shit he's pulled this season, he does kind of deserve to be fought, just a little bit. But don't go too hard on him. One good hit should bring him down, you don't need to do any more than that. Fight Jake. Make it quick, though. You don't want Tom to catch you.