Chapter Text
23rd of October, 2014
4:56pm
hey...souda? you still coming over? you were meant to be here two hours ago...and uh...i'm kind of worried about you
4:57pm
Ah, I apologise for any inconveniences this may have caused you, but I think you may have the wrong number! :)
4:59pm
oh! shoot, i'm really sorry about that, i guessed i must've typed it in wrong or something...
5:00pm
Of course, no harm done. :)
New phone, I take it?
5:03pm
uhh...i guess so, maybe?
i'm not sure if about a week is considered 'new' or not...
i mean, i consider it new.
5:05pm
Hmm, I suppose a week sounds fairly new...
...Although don't take my word on it! I have been known to be wrong, haha!
5:06pm
yeah, that's what i thought
but...i don't know...
5:08pm
Is there...any particular reason you think it isn't up to new standard?
5:10pm
oh, uh, no
just something a friend said
but he doesn't even know what comes after the letter 'O'...
5:11pm
Ah, I thought all kindergartens taught little kids that...
Aha, I apologise, that was an incredibly biased opinion.
The only kindergarten I know of was my own, you see.
5:14pm
no you're right, most do
well uh...most should, at least
5:14pm
I agree! The alphabet is a very important tool in life.
5:15pm
yeah...yeah, i guess it is
but now thinking about it, i don't even think he went to kindergarten...
5:16pm
Ah? Well then, that would explain a lot, haha!
Come to think of it, I know a few people myself who didn't go...
5:17pm
i guess it's not really as common as people think.
5:20pm
Hmm...I don't think that's it, I think it may be because many parents can't be bothered...with good reason, I suppose!
5:23pm
...you know, that sounds pretty accurate, you're probably right.
that's probably why i didn't go to kindergarten for a while, either...
5:25pm
Oh, why thank you!
Not many people believe I'm right about things, haha...
This is a interesting change!
5:27pm
i...uh...
i'm not really sure what you mean??
5:28pm
Ah! I apologise, that was my mistake.
What I meant to say was that many people believe me to be a constant liar, haha!
Although I don't mind! I can understand why they would prefer not to hear the truth; sometimes it can be quite painful.
5:32pm
that...sounds kind of rough, actually
and really...unfair.
5:33pm
Oh! No, it's not too bad at all!
Many of the things I say aren't very notable anyway; I've been known to 'ramble aimlessly' occasionally...haha...
5:34pm
well...i thought your opinions on kindergarten were pretty noteworthy
so there you go.
5:35pm
Ah, you did?
Well, thank you for that.
I hoped that might've been the case!
5:38pm
uh...you're welcome, i guess?
but hey, i don't really think that's true, about the whole 'liar' thing...
i mean, there's bound to be someone who believes you.
5:41pm
Oh, yes, of course there is!
I didn't think you would take me so seriously, haha!
My two best friends know me incredibly well, so they can always tell if I'm telling the truth.
5:43pm
well then, there you go
that's great!
i guess i have a few best friends of my own, similar to yours, too...
they're all uh...very...different, to say the least.
5:46pm
Hahaha, I know exactly what you mean!
My two friends feel like almost opposites!
Makoto is very outgoing, whilst Mikan is incredibly shy. It's really quite cute sometimes, haha.
5:48pm
oh, whoaa! they sound like great people
and uh...i can't say i know you very well, or...at all, really, but i'm guessing your personality would fit somewhere between theirs?
5:50pm
What excellent deduction skills you have, anonymous-kun!
Even though you were very far off, I still admire your thought!
5:52pm
oh
damn
i don't get a participation award, do i??
5:54pm
I am afraid I have nothing to offer, haha.
It was a good guess, though!
Very well played, good job!
5:55pm
...
...
why do i get the feeling that this suddenly became my pity party...
5:57pm
Hmm...I seem to have forgotten the cake, oh dear.
5:58pm
oh no! what is a party without cake?!
isn't a cake why people come to parties?!
i've been deceived!
6:00pm
Oh, woe is me!
My life is a misery!
6:02pm
oh! can't you see?
6:03pm
That I'm at the start of a pretty big downer!
6:04pm
janet!
6:04pm
Doctor Scott!
6:05pm
janet!
6:05pm
Brad!
6:05pm
rocky!
6:06pm
Grrr...
6:07pm
janet!
6:07pm
Doctor Scott!
6:08pm
janet!
6:09pm
Brad!
6:09pm
rocky!
6:10pm
Grrr...
...
Did you end up finding your friend?
6:11pm
...huh?
that's uh...
i don't think that's in rocky horror...
6:13pm
Oh! Hahaha, of course it isn't, silly.
I was asking about your friend...'Souda', was it?
6:15pm
oh, uh, yeah, he's safe
i...think he's trying to date this one girl he's been obsessing over for weeks
it's not really a shock he didn't show up.
6:17pm
Hahaha, I see...I hope it goes well for him, then?
6:18pm
well...if i know souda, i reaaaally hope it doesn't go well
like, at all
6:20pm
Ah, well, your judgement is probably the best, haha.
He is a friend of yours, after all...
6:21pm
yeah...that's true...
the poor guy just doesn't realise she's really not into him, not in that way at least
and he can't exactly be...easily persuaded...
6:24pm
Ah, I see...it is one of...'those'...situations.
6:26pm
yeah...i guess it is
he's completely crazy about her and everything
6:27pm
Well, they do say that infatuation is the first stage of love!
6:28pm
that's...true
kind of hard seeing souda loving anything apart from cars, though.
6:30pm
Oh? I didn't picture him a vehicle enthusiast, oddly enough.
6:32pm
he uh...smells like motor oil and is constantly covered in grease stains
is that vehicle enthusiastic enough for you?
6:34pm
Hahaha, that must be awful!
6:34pm
it really really REALLY is
especially when you're trying to eat...
6:35pm
...He doesn't have a beard, does he?
6:35pm
wha-
np b
npwsy
6:37pm
Are you...okay over there? Haha...
6:38pm
yrs
6:39pm
I didn't offend you in any way, did I?
6:41pm
cabt syop layghing
ih gpd
6:42pm
I can't say I understand what you're saying.
6:45pm
sirrt sirry
jist souda with a besrd
o csnt beeathe
6:46pm
Ah, will you need a hospital, perhaps?
6:47pm
hahahahaha
ah, sorry, i'm good now
...i think
6:50pm
I...suppose he's definitely not the type to suit a beard, then?
6:52pm
no way, not a single chance
he doesn't even let his leg hair grow out, there's seriously no hope for a beard at all.
6:54pm
Ah, ahahaha, my mistake!
7:00pm
no worries, you're all good.
7:03pm
Well...as...fascinating as this has been, I'm afraid I have to leave.
I have an appointment arranged.
7:04pm
oh
oh yeah, that's cool
good luck with your appointment!
7:06pm
Thank you!
Although I'll doubt I'll need it, haha.
7:08pm
sure you will
and i don't suppose i'm getting that pity cake anytime soon...right?
i was really looking forward to that.
:-(
10:07pm
Good?
10:08pm
perfect
27th of October, 2014
12:34pm
is this the real life?
is this just fantasy?
caught in a landsliiiide
no es-cape-from-re-a-li-ty
12:38pm
Open your eyes!
Look to the skies, and see!
12:40pm
i'm just a poor boy, i need no sympathy
because i'm
12:41pm
Easy come...
12:41pm
easy go
12:43pm
Little high...
12:44pm
little low
12:45pm
Any way the wind blows, doesn't really matter...
Toooo me!
12:46pm
to me
12:48pm
We haven't spoken in a while, anonymous-kun...
12:50pm
i know!
that bohemian rhapsody was my uh...apology
and uh...my apology for the fact that i uh...
kind of...forgot...about you...
i didn't mean to! i was just...busy with things.
12:52pm
Ahh, that would make very much sense.
Although I must admit, I did believe the reason was that you found me to be very annoying, haha!
But I can see why I'm easily forgettable!
12:54pm
oh! no, not at all
you're actually...pretty fun to talk to
even if you may be a creepy old guy...
12:55pm
Well, you never know, I could be!
I could also be a serial killer, a deranged psychopath, a supernatural being, a theif, or a baker!
You wouldn't know.
12:57pm
oh no...
...oh no...
oh no..
...i really hope you aren't a baker
bakers are flour killers!
12:58pm
Ah, i see...and what if it happens to be that I am a baker?
1:00pm
oh, dear!
save the poor flour!
spare the eggs, too, they didn't do anything wrong!
1:02pm
Wrong!
Those eggs are the reason I look back on my childhood with despair!
They have to be exterminated!
1:03pm
you...
you monster!
1:03pm
Those eggs are the true monsters, here.
Not I.
1:04pm
noooooo!
1:06pm
Oh, YES!
Very delicious.
1:08pm
for some reason, i don't think you're a creepy stalker anymore
could be a serial killer
but definitely not a creep
1:10pm
Is that so?
Those are some nice bedsheets, by the way.
Nice hair you have, too.
1:12pm
oh, boy
i bet they are
1:13pm
What nice wall paint you have too!
How very green, how very unusual.
1:14pm
whoops, forgot i needed to paint over that
kinda gets boring after a while
1:15pm
Oh, no, anon-kun! Don't you know that cream carpet stains very easily?
1:16pm
i can't believe you're still calling me 'kun', you can see that i'm a girl, right?
1:16pm
Nope!
You are 100% male.
It is quite...obvious.
1:18pm
oh, shoot! i forgot to put on clothes!
1:20pm
You have incredible self confidence, anon-kun.
Having the window this open whilst wearing your birthday suit is quite admirable in a
...very strange way...
1:22pm
i don't know what to say
i'm a very open guy.
1:24pm
Ah, so you are indeed male!
The baker detective has succeeded once more.
1:25pm
whoops, you got me!
damn it
and you're a detective now too, are you?
1:26pm
Why, of course!
Always have been.
A better detective than Detective Dick Gumshoe!
1:28pm
...
...every...
...detective is better than dick gumshoe...
1:30pm
Hm...I see your point.
Although he does find quite useful evidence in several cases, so not entirely useless!
1:32pm
and, well...i'm actually at school, not home
and last time i checked, i definitely didn't live at a school
i guess you don't make a very good detective at all.
1:35pm
Ah, I knew it all along!
All that investigating was to put you off-scent.
1:37pm
oh, you definitely put me off-scent, i think i have to give you credit for that.
1:38pm
A trophy would be nice, too.
Now get back on track with your schoolwork, anon-kun.
Then we'll see about getting you your own trophy.
1:40pm
shh, i'm trying!
stop buzzing or i'll have to turn you off.
1:50pm
Bzzt.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////
8:00pm
that was...a terrible monday.
8:01pm
I am very sorry to hear that.
My messages probably didn't help much either, haha...
I'm never of much use anyway!
8:03pm
no no, they were nice, actually
but getting whacked with a tennis racquet in the head is not nice
i think i have brain damage.
8:05pm
Oo, ouch...
8:06pm
exactly.
8:08pm
I hope tomorrow will be better!
8:09pm
well...at least it won't be a monday.
8:11pm
Ah yes, I suppose that is very true.
Mondays do tend to feel like they go on for ages.
8:13pm
yeah, i know exactly what you mean
damn mondays.
8:15pm
Damn Mondays.
8:17pm
i'm uh...
i'm guessing you don't go to school, right?
or you're homeschooled?
unless you dropped out...which is...alright too, i guess.
8:20pm
Oh, no, I do go to school!
That's how I met my friends, actually.
I didn't have to go today, however, as my bad luck struck me with a terrible cold this weekend, haha.
8:22pm
oh...that, uh...that's really gotta suck
you probably had a worse monday than I did hahaha.
8:24pm
It wasn't too bad, really.
Most of the time was either relaxing or sleeping to get better! Haha.
The blocked nose was a little annoying, though...
8:25pm
man, i hate blocked noses
it's like your own nose wants to stop you from breathing
8:27pm
Perhaps noses have secret malicious intent.
8:28pm
watch out, the nose apocalypse is coming!
8:30pm
Hahaha
Although...I wonder what that would actually be like...
8:31pm
i pictured it as noses falling off of people's faces and attacking them, if that helps.
8:32pm
Ah yes, I have a wonderful image of that in my head now, thank you.
Attack On Noses
8:35pm
sie sind das noses und wir sin die jager!
8:36pm
Shame on you, Anon-kun.
8:40pm
fumareta hana no
namae no shirazu ni
8:41pm
I finally agree, this is the worst Monday.
8:45pm
chi ni ochita tori wa
kaze wo machiwabiru
8:46pm
This must be more of my bad luck kicking in...
8:48pm
inotta tokoro de
nani mo kawaranai
imo wo kaeru no wa
tatakau kakugo da...
8:50pm
You may be getting some of the lyrics wrong.
8:51pm
shikabane fumikoete
susumu ishi wo
warau buta yo
8:52pm
This is pure agony.
8:54pm
kachiku no annei
...kyogi no han'ei
...shiseru garou jiyuu wo!
9:00pm
What a cruel punishment
28th of October, 2014
6:00am
Good morning, Anon-kun!
This is your wake up alarm!
Time to get up for a bright, new, hopeful day!
School is awaiting!
Your future is present!
So, wakey-wakey sleepyhead!
6:02am
i'm awake, alright?! i'm up!
i'm ready to go, hooray, new day, okay?!
just please
PLEASE
stop
6:03am
Ah, I'm very glad to see my revenge plot was a wonderful success.
6:04am
you...
...crap, you got me
i've got nothing.
6:06am
I believe I won this round, anon-kun.
6:07am
this isn't over.
6:08am
Oh, is that right?
6:10am
you're gonna pay for this so bad
even if i have to send you guren no yumiya until i get sick of it, too.
6:11am
Now thinking about it, that wasn't too bad.
Kind of a nice tune, I suppose.
6:13am
SIE SIND DAS ESSEN WIR SIN DIE JAGER!
6:15am
You're awfully cruel.
6:16am
you know you could always block this number, right?
6:16am
Never!
6:18am
fumareta hana no...
6:19am
...
...
...
6:21am
...?
6:23am
Consider yourself blocked.