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“And I will always hate you .”
That was what he said. That was what he said when she finally said “I love you” to his face. He didn’t know, nor did it seem that he cared who she was. Finally she put that stupid fear of those three words behind her and he just didn’t care .
Jay wasn’t there anymore.
So why did it feel like he still was?
Nya watched him walk away from her, tears mixing with the sweat on her face and burning in her eyes. The quiet whispers of the ninja were all too clear to her, she could hear their pity and wished it would all go silent. But no, she had to stay strong, she couldn’t afford to show anymore weakness, she couldn’t cry now!
The rest of the matches continued on painfully slowly and Nya found herself just staring. She didn’t fully register where she was afterward, she didn’t see or hear the rest of the tournament, she barely noticed the numbness in her legs from dangling them over the ledge of the stairs. The only thing Nya did notice was the tingling feeling in her fingertips, the same sensation she felt when asked to demonstrate Jay’s power.
Unlike her own power, which she most often felt in the very veins of her body, Jay’s was concentrated in her fingers. It almost felt like the circulation in her hands was cut off. Nya hadn’t noticed that she was playing with the electricity, pulling it between her thumb and index finger like a thread. Slowly, she started to feel the small shocks on the pads of her fingers and found herself imagining Jay’s hand in place of hers.
“Nya?”
“Nya, the matches are over.”
“Let’s go back to the dorm.”
A hand helped pull her up and led her away from the arena. She hardly processed where exactly she was going until she flicked her eyes up and caught sight of all the elemental masters. All of Nya’s rage flooded her in an instant and she shrugged off the hand on her arm. She marched away from the others, not too sure of what she was doing, but fully sure of where she was going.
To Jay.
The sight of Cinder wearing a pink sleeping mask with hearts and complaining about his beauty sleep would have been funny if Ras telling Nya that Jay had already left didn’t land like a blade to the chest. Lloyd had to restrain her from either attacking Ras or running off after Jay. He held her by the shoulder as he led her back to their own dorm and ensured that she wouldn’t run off while everyone was asleep.
But Nya didn’t sleep. She laid there in the dark, on top of the covers of her bedding, staring at the ceiling. The feeling of Jay’s power lingered in her fingertips, making them overly sensitive every time she tried to move them. It didn’t hurt, it just felt like she was over feeling every single tissue and vein shift when she flexed her fingers, she even felt every single fiber of her clothing and blanket. Though she didn’t want to, Nya sparked electricity between the webbing of her fingers. She half expected it to feel like a white hot burn but it only tingled.
It felt like Jay.
Hours passed and Nya continued to use small amounts of her Yin’s power. She pictured his hand on hers each time, it was comforting, it was like he was still there with her, like he still remembered and loved her.
When the golden light of the morning sun began to fill the windows, Nya sat up and put her tournament gi back on. There was still plenty of time before anyone would wake up and she could finally let off some steam. As soon as she stepped outside, a thick pain at the back of her throat overwhelmed her. She practically ran to the nearest training dummy and landed a punch on it in a desperate attempt to distract from her tears.
There was no way for her to know how long she had been out there, all Nya knew was the redness and blood on her knuckles was starting to pull her from her from the state she was in. Reluctantly, she dropped her arms and headed back inside to wrap her hands up. As Nya patched herself up she found that she was covered in dark bruises, likely from her fight with Jay the previous night. She didn’t bother to even try patching or covering them before rushing back out and immediately focusing herself on training again.
The sore skin on her knuckles prevented her from punching the dummy again. Though she didn’t want to… gods, she didn’t want to , Nya sparked electricity in the palm of her hand. The tingling spread up past her wrist as she increased the power of the lightning until it was pulsing with a loud screeching noise. Nya’s eyes locked on the dummy again. She lunged forward with one hand outstretched and grabbed it by the neck, the power of Jay’s lightning burst out and sent the head of the dummy flying into a nearby wall.
But the power still felt like Jay.
Nya looked down at her palms, destroying that dummy came… too naturally. She sparked more lightning, letting the tingling sensation overtake her fingertips as she held her hand out. There were a few targets set up for training nearby and Nya released a burst of lightning towards one. The blast hit a bullseye before exploding the target into hundreds of wooden shards.
The painful lump at the back of her throat came back. Nya’s hands began shaking as she realized Jay’s power responded to her. It responded naturally, and came easily.
Like Jay was still there somehow, like whatever was left of his old self remembered Nya through his power. She crossed her arms, allowing the current of electricity to flow throughout her body, mixing with her own power. The tingling spread from her fingertips to her elbows and down her sides until she felt it all over. Gods, it felt like Jay, it felt like he was there with her, in the exact same spot she was standing.
Nya didn’t notice the tears rolling down her cheeks as she stood there, holding herself as though it were Jay’s hands on her arms. She took a step forward, holding one hand out, palm toward the sky and took a breath. The next step she took was smoother than the last as she lined herself up for a twirl. It was a quick spin before Nya returned to her steps, running her hand over the gentle breeze while following its movement. The tingling made her arms feel as though they were bobbing along the waves of a calm ocean.
But within her, Nya could feel a storm brewing. Just beneath her skin the soft tingling was growing into sharp sparks. The more she moved, taking each deliberate step forward, the more she felt Jay’s power grow. It all came far too naturally to her.
With a flick of her hand, Nya sparked more lightning and blasted it right into the next target.
A sob rangout, echoing back repeatedly into her ears. She dropped her arms and fell to her knees. Jay’s power really did remember her… it may have been the only thing left of him that did and now it was in her possession.
The real Jay was in the palm of her hands, the tingling of her finger tips, and no longer within him. He was long gone by now, likely traveling to find a new purpose, all while retaining the disgusting lies Ras had fed him. Jay hated Nya, whatever didn’t, couldn’t even communicate with either of them.
Why did it have to be this way? Of everything that had happened since the merge, why did it have to be Jay that she lost? Or her brother? Why did Jay’s power have to be the only thing left of the true him? Why did it hurt Nya so much to know she had a part of her Yin with her?
Why couldn’t she have him ?