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“Tuna, tuna.”
Toge looked expectantly at Gojo standing under the arch of the door, who had the most absurd of smiles, until his teacher saw what Toge had found in one of the boxes in the room—a camera full of dust from the size of his hand.
“Oooh, that.” Gojo grinned even more, waving one of his hands gracefully, “You can keep it if you want. It’s not a normal and ordinary camera. In fact, if you find its cartridges and the charger for the battery, it’s all yours!”
Toge blinked and tilted his head in question, but nodded, returning to the task of tidying up the room that was entrusted to him when Gojo left—but not before explaining a couple more details about the device to him; apparently, the camera belonged to a sorcerer student from years ago who made it capable of developing the final photographs using only basic cursed energy. It wasn’t a normal camera where you could export photos via USB; it wasn’t a polaroid where the photos were developed the instant they were taken; nor was it an old camera where the photos were developed in a dark room.
It was a rather strange combination of all of them that Toge was dying to try. He always loved to observe even the simplest detail in his daily life.
So, while he silently moved boxes and folders aside, his second goal was to find that charger and those cartridges.
Toge began capturing amazing moments before and after his solo missions—the veil building and undoing in the sky, the streets filled with blurry moving people, the lights colliding with tall buildings as a curse about to be exorcised peeked through one of its windows.
Beautiful moments—the great torii that guarded the entrance to Jujutsu High in the middle of summer rain, the sun’s rays making the reflections of the puddles shine, a family of cats huddled under some bushes around the sacred statues.
Moments worth remembering—the class used by the first years wrapped in the dawn of a sleepless night, the training field succumbed to the dusk of a good day of effort, throat syrups and onigiris inside a plastic bag wrapped tightly on top of his nightstand when he got to his room after his solo missions.
Toge took photos of everything that made him feel something.
He always loved to observe even the simplest detail.
Even now, when he was sitting on the grass of one of the school courtyards in the middle of a bright afternoon, with his eye looking through the camera lens, he followed the flight of a purple-winged butterfly; he captured that image and didn’t stop following the insect until it landed softly on something—Okkotsu’s back, right on his shoulder blade.
The butterfly stayed there, slowly waving its wings over the white t-shirt, and Toge couldn’t tear himself away from the camera. Okkotsu was several meters away with his back to him, chatting with Panda and Maki, oblivious to Toge watching him from behind a camera. Toge felt his heart skip a beat when Okkotsu turned his head to the side, curling his lips into an unexpected smile, and there—right there, Toge pressed the button to capture the image.
It was… beautiful. It was unique.
He wanted to remember that moment, over and over again.
Toge slowly lowered the camera from his face and the butterfly took flight again, but he no longer looked at it or followed it. Toge was staring at Okkotsu, instead.
He wanted to remember Okkotsu when he went overseas.
Shortly after that, Toge began capturing amazing moments—Okkotsu’s piercing gaze as he sheathed his katana after a group mission, his ring shining on his middle finger against the light of a streetlamp at night, his hand fixing his messy hair after the fights.
Beautiful moments—Okkotsu’s smile sequence; he always offered a small, shy smile at first, then it grew into a confident, wide smile, and finally he closed his eyes and let himself be carried away by that instant of happiness.
Moments worth remembering—being with him. Okkotsu Yuuta himself.
As Toge spent more time with the camera, he began to notice all those details about Okkotsu that went unnoticed by others, but not by him: the unique way in which all the lights seemed to dance and illuminate Okkotsu’s face in different angles, his contagious laugh that Toge always managed to capture before hearing, and his deep looks that seemed to speak without words.
Many of his photos had Okkotsu as the protagonist, either in spontaneous moments or in carefully chosen situations. Many of his photos included Okkotsu in those same landscapes that he loved to admire so much.
Okkotsu never realized the feelings that grew more in Toge with each photo. Until someone else did.
That day, they had been training before Panda and Okkotsu left to buy the group’s food. Okkotsu was lying on the ground with his eyes closed, facing the sky, tired and panting. He ran a hand through his hair, brushing some sweaty strands away from his forehead.
Toge couldn’t help but take that photo from the edge of the training field.
“Did you miss something on Yuuta’s face, Toge?” Maki’s amused voice came from behind him.
Toge’s pulse rose dramatically, quickly lowering the camera.
“Fish flakes.” Toge looked at her as she sat next to him, fidgeting with the camera.
Maki smiled mockingly, brought her knees to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them. Toge could still feel her gaze on him, even though he was no longer looking at her. However, he sighed in resignation. It hadn’t been a surprise that someone finally realized what he had been doing every moment he could.
“Your crush is obvious to my eyes, Toge.” Maki laughed a bit, looking down at the camera in Toge’s hands. “I bet since you found that camera, all your photos are of our dear Yuuta, am I wrong?”
Caviar, Toge thought.
Toge shifted in his place, a mix of nervousness and acceptance settling into him. Actually, he didn’t know if he had finished the cartridge or not. He hadn’t counted how many photos he had taken.
“You’re lucky, idiot.” Maki sighed in frustration, letting herself fall on the grass with a snort. Toge looked down at her curiously, and she in turn looked at Toge, smirking. “The only thing you need is a little push.”
Toge frowned then, not understanding exactly what she meant by that. Scratch that—he understood it perfectly, but his brain didn’t want to fully absorb it.
“Mustard leaf.” Toge rolled his eyes, putting down the camera to sign with his hands, ‘Even so, Yuuta is going overseas soon. These photos are to remember him.’
Maki looked up at him with slight concern in understanding, pursing her lips in a soft gesture.
“You’re hopeless, Toge.” She jumped up gracefully and stretched her arms above her head, smiling at him, but still damn amused, “Thank you for confirming that the common theme in your photos is Yuuta.”
Maki walked away from him and Toge just watched her leave in silence.
“Caviar.” Toge said under his breath, snorting. He grabbed the camera and stood up too, deciding to empty the cartridge for the first time.
He left the door to his room open when he arrived—Panda and Okkotsu were probably already on their way to shop, there was no one in the rooms right now—so Toge took the opportunity to sit on the bed, let out some basic cursed energy towards the camera and wait to see what would happen.
As Gojo had told him, all the photos began to gradually appear from under the camera, as if it was a polaroid without the slot. The photographs scattered all over his bed, and Toge got up to create something in a minute so he could expose them and observe them better. He tied a thin rope from one side of his room to the other, right in front of his bed, and began hanging the photos there with small clips.
After a few minutes, Toge stood there, watching his small exhibit. He couldn’t help but sigh with resignation because—indeed, half of the photographs he had taken were of Okkotsu Yuuta.
He made him feel too much. Too much for his heart.
A sudden knock on his door snapped Toge out of his thoughts instantly, snapping his head towards the sound.
It was Okkotsu—taking a timid step forward with a smile, his hand still raised against the wood. He had changed from his training clothes to more comfortable ones.
“Hi Toge, Maki said that…” his voice trailed off, his gaze fixating on what Toge had in front of him.
Toge was slow to react. He began to enter a small state of internal panic. Hadn’t Okkotsu gone shopping with Panda yet? Half an hour ago they were—
Toge blinked, realizing quickly when he connected the dots. Okkotsu said the name of Maki. Maki.
The only thing you need is a little push.
It had to be Maki’s idea, to send Okkotsu there for anything, just to show Toge that he really was hopeless.
But now there was nothing he could do except watch with nervous anticipation for the reaction of Okkotsu, who had approached with slow steps almost to Toge’s side. The air around him seemed to tense before Toge as Okkotsu ran his eyes over each and every photograph he had been taking for weeks.
“Oh,” It was the soft breath that slipped past Okkotsu’s lips.
Okkotsu’s first reaction was surprise, then his expression melted into silent contemplation. Toge looked at him with concern, even though deep inside he was trying to calm the uneasy feeling he felt. Surely Okkotsu did not expect to see so many images of himself, much less in such intimate and natural moments. He was probably wondering why Toge had so many photos of him. Okkotsu will be overwhelmed, he will look at him in silent nervous apology, and he will leave.
Toge’s gaze searched for any indication of how Okkotsu was feeling. Toge didn’t know if his photographs would reveal more than he was prepared to face.
He expected everything except the following—
Okkotsu turned to him with a small shy smile, and Toge suddenly felt like he was watching the sequence of that same smile through a lens—he always offered a small, shy smile at first, then it grew into a confident one, and finally Okkotsu let himself be carried away by a soft emotion that completely threw Toge off.
“They are beautiful.” Okkotsu said softly, no trace of any nervousness in his voice except his pure sincerity. It was almost above a whisper between them. “Thank you for seeing me this way, Toge.”
Toge felt himself fall even more, fall and continue falling until he landed on something too much for his heart. The sincerity and well-camouflaged sadness that Okkotsu’s words hid didn’t go unnoticed by Toge.
“Mustard leaf?”
Okkotsu’s eyes hadn’t left his since then, but he looked away slightly, bringing a hand to the back of his neck to rub it. Toge noted just from that that he was possibly struggling with himself, like he did many times before.
“You could say I’ve never been seen as anything more. Not since—well, not since the whole Rika thing.”
Okkotsu didn’t look at Toge afterwards. Instead, he slowly directed his gaze towards the photographs hanging on the rope again. Okkotsu raised a hand toward them and caressed the edges of a couple of photos with his fingers, smiling fondly.
“Somehow, I can feel the attention and care with which they have been taken.” Okkotsu said. “You have captured my laugh, my moments of reflection and even my smallest gestures… These photos are not just images, right? Is that how you’ve been… feeling?”
Toge stared at him.
No one had ever understood him the way Okkotsu had been doing. His chest felt too light and heavy at the same time.
Yeah, Toge thought as he looked down, it was an expression of my feelings in the end, wasn’t it? Those same feelings that continued to grow.
Without seeing him, Toge could feel Okkotsu’s serenity suddenly transform into little distress as he quickly took a step back away from Toge. He raised his head to see Okkotsu raising both hands and frantically moving his gaze everywhere but at him.
“God—Toge—I’m s-sorry if I misread the whole thing or—I didn’t want to make you feel—”
Toge frowned slightly and took the step that Okkotsu took back before, interrupting his rambling with a quick shake of his head as he moved closer. He took his nervous hands in his to stop him from moving away again and their eyes met instantly. Okkotsu stood still at the touch. This time Toge had his full attention, and he was going to take advantage of every second of it. He gently released Okkotsu’s hands and looked at him meaningfully.
“Tuna tuna, mentaiko.” He said softly, smiling a little to reassure him. Then Toge took a deep breath and slowly signed, ‘I’ve started taking photos of everything that has made me feel something. And you make me feel too much every day. I want to remember you when you go overseas. You are the most amazing and memorable person I have ever met.’
Toge felt his cheeks begin to heat up, and it was clear to him that it was not because of the sun coming through the windows of his room. He knew that Okkotsu had understood every one of his signs—he was quick to learn to communicate through JSL when Gojo told him that Toge also spoke with them that way. Okkotsu didn’t want to be left behind, and his effort in a short time made everything inside Toge melt.
‘I like you, and I don’t think that will ever change.’ Toge finally signed, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He wished he could cover the cursed marks of his mouth—he was starting to feel too exposed. “Tuna mayo…”
They both stood in silence for a moment, processing what had been said, not daring to break eye contact. When he had begun to sign, Toge had watched how Okkotsu visibly relaxed in concentration, and now Okkotsu’s expression changed; his expression went soft.
“Toge.” Okkotsu spoke after the pause, smiling at him. “Can you leave me the camera?”
At that, Toge blinked, but nodded without thinking. He walked towards the bed to grab the camera and then stood in front of Okkotsu again, offering it to him. Okkotsu carefully took it and brought it to his face, closing one eye to see through the lens. His index finger pressed the capture button and the sound made Toge realize too late what he had done—this time Toge himself had been the target to be photographed.
He felt his heart skip a beat when Okkotsu’s happy face appeared behind the camera, lowering it.
“I just took a photo of someone amazing, beautiful and worth remembering, too.” Okkotsu chuckled softly, a faint pink on his cheekbones. He looked at Toge with that same intensity he captured behind the lens days ago, and Okkotsu said fondly, “I feel the same way, Toge. I like you a lot.”
Toge shakily breathed a smile in relief—it grew along with his feelings and he couldn’t help but laugh in happiness after a beat, making Okkotsu’s grin grow even bigger and bigger, too far from being nervous and closer to being the best one ever. As Toge’s laugh died softly in his throat, he watched as Okkotsu pointed to the camera.
“I want this photo for myself.” He raised the camera upwards, looking for where he could get the photo he had just taken. “How do I get it?”
Suddenly, afraid that Okkotsu would discover it and break the camera in two with all that cursed energy he had, Toge rushed to take it out of his hands.
“Salmon roe.” Toge said, releasing a small amount of cursed energy into the device to get the photo out.
Okkotsu moved closer to him so they could see it together: Toge was looking at the person behind the camera, his eyes soft and amusing, his expression calm against the natural light, and his lips twitching at the corners where his cursed marks rose with softness in a smile full of contained affection.
Toge realized that that was how he always looked at Okkotsu, no matter what the situation was. He also knew that Okkotsu thought the same as him from the way he was looking at Toge now.
Okkotsu laughed heartily then, a laugh he heard before capturing it this time, and Toge smiled softly, turning to Okkotsu’s side to rest his forehead on his shoulder. If his cheeks were burning and his heart was pumping faster than normal, it was all Okkotsu Yuuta’s fault, who made him feel too much.
It was another of the many moments worth remembering.
Another photograph had been added to the collection after that day—Okkotsu was staring at the camera, blushing, with his free arm on Toge’s shoulders, holding back a wide grin while Toge had his arms wrapped around Okkotsu’s torso, his eyes closed as he was pressing his own smile on Okkotsu’s cheek.