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There was a problem.
More specifically, there was a problem with Logan moving in to Wade’s universe. It wasn’t that he wasn’t a good anchor being or that he was being targeted by the TVA or anything interesting like that. The problem is that Logan left all his belongings in his old universe, and he was getting tired of borrowing Wade’s too-tight Sanrio shirts.
He didn’t care about ‘how cute he looked in the Cinnamoroll shirt’, he wanted something that fit him. That is how Logan ended up in the passenger seat of a Honda Odyssey with Wade singing some Korean boy pop song at the top of his lungs (he didn’t even know the language).
They were on their way to a thrift store because Wade ‘didn’t regenerate money’. Wade had been helpfully suggesting that Logan should buy compression shirts like the little pervert he is. In truth, Logan wasn’t fussy in what he wore. He was actually willing to let Wade pick some stuff out for him so long as it wasn’t inappropriate. This led to some interesting purchases.
As soon as they walked in, Wade immediately ran over to the toy section.
“Logan!” He yelled from the other side of the store.
Logan sighed and trudged over to where Wade was jumping up and down excitedly.
“Look, they’ve got a Wolverine Funko pop!” He squealed.
Logan braced an arm on Wade’s shoulder as he leaned over to look at it. There was a singular figure of him with beat-up packaging. It had an absurdly large head and no mouth. His vision was soon obscured as Wade reached over to pick up the box.
“Can we get it, Peanut?” Wade looked up at him with puppy eyes that could rival Mary Puppins’.
“You’ve got the money, bub.”
Wade groaned. “I know, but like should I get it? We’re buying clothes for you.”
Logan shrugged.
Wade’s shoulders deflated and he put it back. He looked like he had really wanted to get it, Logan wondered why he suddenly changed his mind.
Next they found themselves in between all the clothes racks like they were supposed to be. Logan was inspecting a few flannel jackets while Wade was busy flitting through basically everything else.
“You should get these.” Wade said, holding up a few tank tops.
Logan took them off him. “I hope you’re not suggesting them because of any personal bias.” He said, raising an eyebrow.
“Pssh no! This is for the greater good.”
Logan smirked and rested a hand on Wade’s shoulder.
“Alright, bub. I’m gonna go try these on for size.” He said, jerking a thumb in the direction of the changing rooms.
When Logan got back, Wade was holding up a frilly dress and animatedly explaining why Logan should get it. He actually had some pretty interesting points.
“…the audience would eat it up-“
“Freak.” Some guy walking by muttered at Wade.
He fell silent.
Logan brought out his claws with a snikt and the guy who was rude to Wade looked back at them. His eyes widened and he started walking quicker.
Wade was still looking after the guy, barely having noticed Logan’s claws.
“Wade?”
Wade turned to him. “Huh?” He turned to the dress in his hand to Logan’s claws. “Oh, right.”
He put the dress back on the rack and turned to Logan.
“Ready to pay for these?” Wade asked, in reference to the assortment of tanks, jeans and flannels in Logan’s arms.
Logan frowned. It was weird seeing Wade so down and not making jokes all the time. He knew he had some insecurity about his looks, but it pained him to actually see the effects. He felt like he had to do something.
“Don’t you wanna pick a few more things out for me? You can go crazy.”
Wade looked a little happier at that and started looking through some racks of clothes.
-
The cashier swiped through all of their items with a blank face, although he snickered slightly at the matching pink cropped shirts with crudely drawn Deadpool hearts on them.
Logan nudged Wade. “Can you take these out to the car? I gotta go to the bathroom.” He said, handing the newly packed bags to Wade.
Wade seemed happy to be doing something useful which made Logan’s heart pang sadly. He wasn’t one for jokes, but he missed Wade running his mouth on random topics he didn’t care about but listened to anyway because it was Wade.
“Sure thing, Peanut.” Wade said (with less enthusiasm than usual), kissing Logan on the cheek and walking out to the car.
When Wade left, Logan did not go to the bathroom. Instead he went to the toy section at the back of the store. He looked around where Wade had been showing him the Funko pop earlier but he couldn’t see it. He swivelled around and scanned the rest of the shelves. It wasn’t there. Fuck.
Logan didn’t really panic much, but he was starting to worry. He looked around the shop. Nothing. He looked again in case he missed anything. There we go (because he refused to say ‘bingo’ or ‘eureka’ like Wade). There was a lady in line to check out holding it along with a few small clothes that would fit a child. Logan grumbled. Why did she have to be getting it for her kid? Now he felt bad.
But not bad enough to give up.
Logan made his way over to the lady and tapped her on the shoulder.
“Excuse me, could I have that Wolverine toy?” He tried to take the growl out of his voice.
“Sorry, I’m getting it for my son.”
Logan tried not to groan in frustration.
“Look, ma’am, it’s really important I get it for-“ he wanted to choose his words carefully here, if he said Wade was his boyfriend it might deter her. “-someone special to me.”
“I understand, but it’s his birthday and he loves Wolverine.”
Logan sighed and thought for a moment. “Would you give it to me if your son got to meet Wolverine?”
“I’m not sure how you’re going to manage that.” She said, amused.
Logan unsheathed his claws and raised an eyebrow.
The lady made a silent O with her mouth, eyes glued to Logan’s claws.
“Uh, yeah, okay.” She said, slowly handing the Funko pop over to Logan, eyes still trained on the adamantium claws.
“Thanks, lady. Got any paper so I can write my number down?”
“Hmm?” The lady finally tore her eyes away from Logan’s claws. “Yeah, sure.”
She fumbled around in her handbag and came out holding a notebook and pen. She flipped to a blank page and motioned for him to write, handing him the pen.
“Alright. Call me on his birthday and I’ll be there.”
Logan was about take the Funko pop and join the back of the line when he got an idea.
“Does your kid happen to like Deadpool as well?”
The lady’s eyes widened.
-
“Hey, bub.” Logan said, climbing into the car with the Wolverine toy hidden behind his back.
“Why didn’t we get a car with a CD player?” Wade said upon greeting, sadly waving around the Madonna CD he found at the store.
“Because you wanted to get the Honda Odyssey to commemorate how far we’ve come?”
“Oh, right.” He paused for a few moments. “It should still have a CD player though.”
Logan let out a small laugh. “I got a present for you, bub.”
Wade turned to Logan, eager, as he brought out the Wolverine Funko pop.
Wade gasped. “Oh my god! You got the thing! This is the best day of my life.”
Logan smiled at how happy Wade looked. His hood fell down back on his neck as he seemed to forget what happened in the store. Logan was glad. He never understood Wade’s insecurities or people thinking he was ugly. To Logan, Wade was the most beautiful person in the whole multiverse. Maybe he was a little biased about the multiverse thing, but anyone with eyes would be able to see that Wade was beautiful.
Wade leaned over to give Logan a soft kiss on his lips.
“Thanks, Peanut.” He said as he pulled away.
“You’re welcome, bub. Although this does mean we’ll have to make an appearance at a birthday party.”
“Wait what?”
Logan was not happy about having to use his claws to cut the cake. Wade was extremely happy to start throwing cake everywhere, which is how they ended up going home from that kids party early. Even with cake on his face, Wade was still the most beautiful person he’s ever seen.