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The sound of feet pacing across marble floors could be heard through the house. It was the middle of the night and everything was silent. Aside from the faint ticking of a clock or the singing of crickets. Maybe a small hoot from an owl once in awhile. The night was quite if not counted those things. Things that to this warm house that had cold floors were meaningless. Fingers, gripped between teeth that almost dug in enough to draw blood. A hand that those fingers were attached to shaking. Silent in their fear, in this fear. The house was quite and the quite brought thoughts. Eyes, disillusioned come to mind. Eyes that stare without feeling or emotion. Eyes of a killer. Those eyes that seemed so icy and yet held nothing, but a bleak look. Eyes that arise fear, remind him of his place. He's not strong enough, he never will be. And he bites down. Blood spilling from between his teeth as his eyes widen. The taste of copper feeling his moth and he feels sick. The smell of it and it catches his eye only proves to worsen that gut wrenching feeling. He knows the feeling of blood on his hands all too well. Nightmares that were dreams of sins he committed haunt him. They shouldn't, but they do. They worm their way in till they fill his brain and eat away at it. He's done bad. He's done really bad. His racing thoughts and vice like grip on the fingers between his teeth, his fingers, stops when a gentle, yet forceful, hand grabs his. Blue eyes stare into brown. Eyes like a silky honey that melts and Killua is sure tastes sweet. Maybe he'd like to taste that honey. He always liked sweet things.
"Killua, look at your fingers." Gon says, holding Killua's hand up for the boy to see. Killua frowns when he sees the blood. He's surprised he hasn't received a lecture from his spiky haired friend yet. Gon hits Killua on the head, not as hard as most times the boy is scolding him, and then pulls him into a tight embrace.
"G-Gon." Killua says. He mentally slaps himself for allowing his voice to waver. Gon just keeps his hold on Killua, only tightening his hold.
"Please don't do this. If you need to talk, let out your feelings please just say so. I swear I'll listen just confide in me." Gon says. Killua swears he hears tears in the dark haired boys voice, but it can't be. Gon hardly ever cries. Killua just nods his head returning the hug.
"I promise Gon." Killua whispers, enjoying his friends embrace. Maybe he was going to be okay. Maybe he wasn't just someone who killed. He could be happy too right?