Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Spoiler straightened, dusting her hands off. It had been a decent night. Another asshole taken down, and she only had a sprained thumb in trade. A cold ring pressed against the back of her head, clear even through the cowl.

"No bats in Crime Alley." 

Shit shit shit shit . She thought she'd had a little leeway, but that was definitely Cooke Avenue up ahead. 

"That's cool. I'm not a bat." The gun eased back slightly. "How fucking old are you?" 

"That would be telling. I've got a secret identity to keep, you know."

"Goddammit, another kid." She heard the safety click on, and the gunman took a step back. 

"Just because I'm short-" 

"It's the voice. What are you, in middle school?" 

She whirled around. "Excuse you, jerkass! I'm a-" She bit off the sentence, but Red Hood was staring down at her, arms folded, helmet tilted like she was a toddler throwing a tantrum. "You don't need to protect me!" 

"You're a sophomore at best." He stepped around her, kicking the asshole in the shoulder. The asshole groaned. "You know what sophomore means in greek?" 

"I have a feeling I'm about to learn." 

"Wise fool. Some kiddo gets a little learning and thinks they know everything." 

She rolled her eyes. "You're an asshole. I'm dubbing you Asshole 2.0." 

"Two-" Hood turned away from the hogtied criminal. "Why 2.0?" 

She pointed at said hogtied criminal. "He's Asshole 1.0. First come, first serve, and he claimed the prize when he messed with a kid." 

She didn't even realize how relaxed Hood had been until he went still. "What kid?" 

"It's handled." 

" What kid ?" 

Steph sighed. "A street kid a couple blocks over, outside Crime Alley. This asshole was trying to rough him up, I stepped in, the kid ran." 

Hood fired almost before she finished her sentence. Steph flinched back as warmth spattered across her face. 

"Fuck!" She grabbed the hem of her cape, wiping her face. "You got brain on my face! That's disgusting!" 

"If that's how Asshole 1.0 qualified, at least let me be Bastard 1.0 or some shit." 

"Fine, you can be Bastard McFuckface. Happy?" She eyed his drenched costume. "How many leather jackets do you go through a week?" 

"You chased the guy here, he's done, get out of my Alley." 

"UGH." She steeled herself and approached the body, trying not to gag as she dug through Asshole's pockets. 

"Are you looting him?" Hood tried to grab her cape and she ducked, hopping to crouch on Asshole's other side. 

"Looking for info, McFuckface. Don't have a name, need to know if he's messed with anyone else who needs help." 

Hood fell silent, crossing his arms again as he watched her rifle through pockets. "Thought you weren't a Bat?" he said eventually. 

"I'm not." She flipped open Asshole's wallet. "I'm a Spoiler. I spoil. Villainous plots, mostly, but I have a nice sideline in foiling dastardly plans." 

He jabbed a finger at her. "You're the blonde Robin."

She pointed to her outfit. "Purple. Does Robin wear purple?"

"You're a goddamn Robin. You died!" 

She winced. Maybe she should have gone for the full coverage cowl. There weren't many bleach-blonde vigilantes in town; it did stand out. "If I'm dead, how am I standing here being Spoiler? Huh? First I'm a Bat, then I'm Robin, then I'm dead. Make up your mind already, old man." 

Hood wasn't budging. If Steph didn't know better, she'd think he was scared. But the guy had just blown someone's head off, and it probably wasn't even the first time tonight. "Dying ain't what it used to be. The Bat didn't learn his lesson, and-" He shook his head like he was trying to clear it. "Black Mask killed you, kid." 

"Yeah, I’m aware." Steph snapped a photo of Asshole's ID and a couple other items she could use to track his whereabouts. "Honestly, who hasn't he tried to kill? He’s definitely tried to kill you." 

“Dammit, B sent you in there!” 

“B didn’t send me anywhere! I was Spoiler long before I got anywhere near the Cave. Long before I made him train me.” 

“He shouldn’t be training anyone! He’s getting kids killed, and no one’s fucking stopping him except me!” 

Steph lost the last of her patience. “I would’ve gotten myself killed solo! You think B brainwashed me or something? You want to blame someone for the shitshow with Black Mask? You can thank my dad for that shit!” 

“He’s not your goddamn dad!” 

Steph pulled up short, not quite sure how to respond to that one. “I think I know who my own dad is, Bastard McFuckface. Hard to miss in the orange spandex and the ponytail.” 

“He-” Red Hood broke off, sliding a hand over his helmet. “Who’s your dad?” 

Steph rolled her eyes. “Cluemaster. I know, he’s lame and he sucks. I kicked his butt myself.” 

“Christ. Cluemaster?” 

“Did you think Batman was my dad?” 

“B’s got an adoption problem. It seemed reasonable.” 

She wasn’t going to touch that one. “My mom’s still around.” 

Hood tipped his head back to stare at the sky. A long crackling sound came from the helmet. Steph had heard enough tired sighs to recognize one even through the distorter. “Get out of my neighborhood.” 

“Happy to. Been a blast.” She snapped off a salute and ran. Better she got out of here before he could change his mind about letting her go. 

Look, Steph knew it was a terrible idea. But when had that ever stopped her before? She’d been passing near the border of Crime Alley, definitely not curious at all. Just passing through, nothing to complain about here. She’d caught sight of Red Hood slipping through the rusty window of a dingy apartment building, and sue her, maybe she was curious. She’d found a quiet spot on a nearby rooftop, and waited for gunshots, or goons booking it out the ground floor, or something . 

But the building stayed quiet. After a couple minutes, a light flicked on, and the blinds were drawn but she could see a shape moving behind them. A shape that looked an awful lot like Red Hood puttering around a kitchen. 

She checked the street. Rooftops. Windows. Everything appeared clear. She rocked back on her heels. “Ughhhhh.” 

She grappled over, lowering herself to the same window. She’d seen him fiddling with something along the windowsill, and she quickly found the three traps he’d reset. Steph hesitated, then heard the shower turn on. To hell with it, she had an opportunity here. Batman would be pissed, sure, but she didn’t technically answer to him. They needed any info they could get on the Red Hood, and she was pretty sure she’d just found one of his safehouses. She worked as quickly as she dared, disarming the traps and slipping inside. 

The safehouse was shitty, but clean. A small stack of paperbacks sat on a crate next to a neatly made double bed. The bathroom was the only room actually fully walled off, with a small kitchen beyond that. A large dresser under the window had to contain clothes and equipment. Steph jumped lightly down from it, heading for the bed. She didn’t have time for a real search, but she had a sample kit in her belt. Maybe she could grab a DNA sample if there was hair on the pillow, or find something useful on the makeshift nightstand. 

“The hell are you doing here?”

Steph spun around, reaching for a shuriken. Her hand stalled as she processed that her target was standing about six feet away, gun leveled at her chest. Fully dressed except for the helmet, his face still covered by a domino. Slowly, she lifted her hands. 

“Saw you out and about, thought I’d stop in for a chat. Since we had so much fun last time.” She put on her peppiest smile. 

Hood flicked the safety off. “Try again, bat.” 

Steph rolled her eyes, irritation breaking through the fear. “Okay, we’ve been through this. I’m not a bat. Not even a bird anymore.” 

“You’re a former Robin, breaking into my safehouse on a case for them. Pull the other one.” 

“You don’t know me,” she scoffed. “You don’t know what I’m here for. Maybe I’m here for a cup of tea and some gossip. I bet you’ve got all the juiciest gossip. You’ve got your finger in literally every pie in Gotham, don’t lie to me.” 

There was a beat of silence, and Steph felt her pulse racing. 

Then, to no one’s shock more than her own, Hood lowered the gun. Something like a smirk tugged at his mouth. “Alright, you want tea? Let’s have tea.” 

He turned his back on her, striding toward the kitchen. “You won’t find anything useful on the bed. I changed the sheets this morning.” 

Steph glanced at the still-open window, then at Hood, vanishing around the corner into the kitchen. Dammit. She straightened her shoulders and followed. 

Hood filled a saucepan with water and set it on the stove, then took a box of tea from the cabinet. He tossed it to her. Steph caught it easily, glad not to embarrass herself any further. “Tea’s sealed. Pick two mugs from the cupboard, so you know they’re clean.” He took the only chair in the room, crossing ankles and arms as he lounged back. 

Steph raised her eyebrows. “You’re trusting me to make the tea?” 

“I’ll supervise. I trust my supplies.” 

“I make terrible tea. Agent A called it a crime against humanity.” She tipped her head. “I like you,” she decided.

“I take it back, you’re not allowed to make my tea. Make your own and suffer.” 

“Too late.” Steph ripped open two tea bags and yanked two of the three mugs out of the cupboard. “So, what’s with the skunk stripe?” 

“That’s what you’re going with?” 

“It’s a choice.” 

“It’s natural.” 

“It’s unfortunate.” 

“You’re focusing on the stripe and not…” he flicked a hand. “I dunno, the mass murder?” 

“Eh.” 

“Eh,” he echoed flatly. 

“It’s not my style. Can’t say I agree with your choices. But,” she shrugged, “I’m also not exactly broken up about rapists and mob enforcers getting what’s coming to them. You do you, boo.”

“So you broke into my apartment to leave fan mail?” he drawled. 

“Nah, you caught me. I noticed you swing in, and I was gonna steal your hair. I still want to know who you are.” She hopped onto the counter, swinging her feet. “Chock-full of curiosity, me.” 

He was definitely smirking now. Steph could feel a smile fighting to reach her own face. “How’d you end up with a hardass like Batman?” 

“Dated his kid.” 

That finally threw him off his game. “Dickwing?”

“Ewww!” Steph gagged. “He’s like forty! No, the current Robin’s my ex. Not much better, but at least he’s not old enough to be my dad, ya nasty.” 

Hood snorted. “So you are a kid.” 

She stuck her tongue out at him. “Seventeen, Fuckface.” 

“A kid. A minor. A child.” 

“The helmet was doing you a lot of favors, and that’s saying something. You can’t be any older than Nightwing.” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” 

“Anyway, I took over as Robin for a bit when the last one quit, but apparently I’m too sassy.” She sang the last two words like a quote, though she was definitely paraphrasing. “Spent most of it benched for not following orders, and then Black Mask caught me, and…” she shrugged. “You know the rest.” 

“How long you been Spoiler? I don’t remember you, but you said you’d gone by it before Robin.” 

So he’d been around Gotham a while, maybe left for a bit before coming back as Hood. He was definitely missing some recent info. She considered. “You gotta let a girl keep some secrets. Or give me something worth trading for.” 

“You broke into my safehouse. How about I let you live?” 

“Too late for threats, Fuckface. You already promised me tea and let me sit on your counter. We’re basically BFFs now.” 

“Best friends share secrets.” 

“That’s a two way street. What’s your problem with the Bat?”

“I’d expect you of all people could guess that one.” 

“Yeah, see, the thing is, a lot of people have a lot of reasons to hate his guts, so you’re gonna have to actually specify.” 

“The Bat’s let too many little birds get hurt on his watch. Too many killed. It has to stop.” Behind the lenses of his mask, she could see a green glow rise. That wasn’t unsettling at all. 

“Right. Cool. Except Batman specifically told me not to go do the shit that got me killed. So I’m not sure I’m seeing the connection.” 

“You died in uniform for him!” 

“I died for Gotham, and what I believed was right. Batman was pissed at me.” 

“And what about Jason Todd?”

Steph flinched. “How do- Jason Todd wasn’t-” 

“The second a kid puts on that uniform, they’re a child soldier. There’s no excuse for that. The Bat’s a grown-ass man, he needs to do better than dragging kids onto the battlefield.” The green was shining strongly now. 

“I told you before. I was Spoiler long before I met Batman. He didn’t make me do anything, didn’t drag me anywhere. Batman only ever held me back from going out and doing stupid shit that eventually got me killed.” She squared her shoulders. “And you know what? Fuck you! I fucking died! You don’t get to tell me what I died for! You don’t get to tell me whether it was worth it, or that I don’t understand, or any of that shit!” 

She slid off the counter, anger flooding through her, pushing her forward. “Keep Robin’s name out of your goddamn mouth! Jason Todd’s too, while you’re at it! Because you don’t know shit about what the Robins stand for, or what happened. You don’t get to sit there smirking, with your creepy-ass eyes, and pretend you understand this better than we do! Stick to your turf wars and your D.A.R.E shtick, and mind your fucking business !” 

He sat still as a statue, every muscle tense, lenses blazing kryptonite green. “Get out,” he snarled. 

“Yeah, fuck you too, buddy.” She turned on her heel and strode back to the bedroom window. She flung herself through, grappling up and across the street at the last second, and setting off at a breakneck pace across the city. 

Chapter Text

Steph tumbled through the window, breath rasping, floor seeming to give under her as the room spun. 

“Don’t bleed on my floor.” 

She rolled over to see him, dressed in sweatpants and a stretched-out t-shirt, a domino hastily slapped on his face. He was more than a little blurry. She took a breath, but somehow that made everything hurt worse, and her vision started to tunnel. 

“Goddammit,” she heard Hood mutter as she slid into unconsciousness. 

“I know you’re awake, you suck at faking it.” 

Steph opened her eyes just enough to glare at him. “Wasn’t faking,” she muttered. “Just because some of us don’t wake up in .2 seconds without moving…” 

“Drink some water. You lost a lot of blood.” 

Steph turned her head. She was propped up against the head of a pretty rickety bed, in a very rickety room. Her ribs were wrapped, two fingers on the left hand splinted, and her right thigh swathed in bandages. Hood sat on a rickety chair by the bed, holding out a glass of water. 

Steph accepted a couple sips, then pushed his hand away. “Hurts.”

“Bet it does. Looks like someone got their hands around that neck for a while. Where the hell were the rest of the Bats?” 

“Busy.” She leaned back. “Ivy and Killer Croc. Wasn’t gonna interrupt.” 

“Dammit, kid, you would’ve died. Again.” 

“But I didn’t.” She managed a sunny smile. Well, a mild-drizzly smile at least. “‘Cuz I got you.” 

“And I got here about 10 minutes before you did.” He got up, heading for the kitchen. “I almost burned this safehouse after your last break-in. I should have, and then you would have bled out here alone.” 

Steph watched him fling open cabinets and slap a saucepan on the stove, sloshing water. She didn’t have the energy to keep bantering, and honestly, he was right. She’d gotten really lucky, and that luck was bound to run out sooner or later.

Her whole body ached, and her hands shook when she tried to lift them, but she definitely felt better than she should after getting shot in the thigh, strangled, and falling down a flight of stairs. She would be surprised if she didn’t have a concussion. But she’d been telling the truth about the Bats - Robinson Park had been a war zone last night, and she’d gotten caught alone in the Bowery. She knew she wouldn’t make it to Leslie’s clinic, much less the Cave, but Hood’s safehouse had been just a couple blocks down. She’d be no more dead if he shot her than if she stayed on the street and tried to make it anywhere else. It had been a hail mary, but one that somehow paid off. 

“Who got you?” 

She shook her head, and it took several seconds for the dizziness to fade when she stopped. “Nope. Not telling you. You’ll prolly try to kill them.” 

“Now what would give you that impression?” 

She raised one eyebrow, and realized her mask was still in place. Her skin would be irritated from having it on for so long - it was broad daylight outside – but she appreciated that he’d left her that layer of privacy. 

“You eat eggs?” 

“Yup. Waffles are better.” 

“You’re getting an omelet. You need iron and protein, not sugar.” 

“That’s what you think.” She knew it was a weak response, but her head hurt too much to think of much else.

“Am I gonna have Bats swarming the place looking for you?” 

“Nah. Shut off my tracker about five blocks away. They’ll figure I went to Leslie’s or home if anywhere. They knew I was on a job. Not how bad it got. Mom’ll worry if I’m not back tonight.” 

“Dammit, kid.” Hood attacked a bell pepper like it had sold coke to a middle schooler. “You’re too casual about this.” 

“Tryin’ to tell me you’ve never come close to bleeding out? Hazards of the job.” 

“That’s my point!” He turned, jabbing the chef’s knife in her direction. “It’s not a job for a kid!” 

“I’ve had a kid,” Steph grumbled. “I think I can decide how far I’m willing to risk my own body.” 

She wasn’t sure if she’d managed to shock him speechless, or if he was trying to intimidate her with a silent glare. Unfortunately for him, she’d faced down the Batglare plenty of times, and he was a little less impressive in a Wonder Woman t-shirt that was practically disintegrating from age. Finally he turned back to the omelet. 

“Didn’t have blood or saline, so recovery’s gonna be a bitch.” 

“Hmm.” She settled back against the headboard. “Thanks.” 

“What was that?” 

She clenched her jaw. “Thank you.” 

“You’re very welcome. Don’t do it again.” 

He worked in silence, and she relaxed, letting her eyes fall shut. She drifted at the edge of sleep until a plate clacked on the crate beside her head. She turned, blinking, as Hood sat beside the bed with his own plate. “Spinach, mushroom, and tomato. Eat up.” 

She hauled herself upright in bed, took a moment to catch her breath, and balanced the plate on the left side of her lap. After a bite, she raised her eyebrows. “That’s actually really good.” 

“Better be.” 

“Who knew Red Hood was a five star chef?” 

He snorted, but it sounded a little pleased. “If I’m going to the trouble of cooking, might as well be worth the time.” 

She ate a few more bites. It seemed to be hitting cravings she didn’t know she had until they were filled, probably her body demanding iron and protein as it tried to recover. She gulped down the water on the bedside table, and Hood refilled it without a word. He ate quickly, studying her through the dominos. 

“You said your mom will worry by tonight.” 

“Yeah, she’s used to me missing for a night or so.” 

“She know what you do?” 

Steph pointed her fork at him. “Don’t start on my mom.” 

“My house. My food. My rules. What did she think happened when you died? Did you actually die?” 

“None of your business.” 

“You made it my business, kid.” 

“I’m not your kid.” 

“You’re a minor, laying half-dead in my safehouse.” 

“Mom knows, alright? Tried to get me to stop, but she doesn’t have much of a leg to stand on, with the shit Dad pulled.” 

“Hn.” 

Steph stabbed another bite of omelet. “You call me a bat, but you sound just like him when you do that.” 

His mouth dropped open. “Take that back.” 

“Just stating facts.” 

“I am nothing like that emo bastard!” 

Steph stared him down. 

He glared back. 

She finally waved a hand, indicating his general person. “Bruh, have you looked at yourself?”

“Batman doesn’t kill.” 

“He sure wants to. Went on a whole spree after Robin Two died. Supes and Agent A couldn’t stop him – he was putting two-bit muggers in traction.” 

“He- what?” 

“Must have been before you got back to town. It was a whole mess. Robin Three had to blackmail Batman into taking him on. Batsy did pretty much the same spiel you did, said he wasn’t bringing any more kids into the field. Superman had to give him a beatdown, and Nightwing still…” she hesitated as the green glow started to rise behind the red mask. “Maybe that’s a story for another day. Anyway, after Robin Three quit, that’s part of why I stepped in. Batman needs a Robin. We keep him in line, give him a reason to come home. I was pretty shit at it, but a lot better than nothing. He still made me do a ton of extra training, and benched me when I wouldn’t stay out of hot zones or follow every order.” 

She set down her fork. “I’ve been doing this for a while, Hood. I’m not going to stop just because Batman cut me off from Robin. You keep saying I need to call for backup, have better plans in place and shit. Batman’s the best backup there is.” 

“You’re assuming he shows up.” 

“You talk like he should be omniscient. No backup is. Eventually, everyone’s always going to be too late. That’s life.” Steph set her empty plate back on the bedside crate. “Look, right from the start, every Robin has been just…chock-full of rage and a thirst for vengeance. We talk a good game about justice and shit, but it’s mostly PR. We’re all pissed off at the world, and we’re gonna be out there kicking the shit out of someone one way or another. Isn’t it better that there’s someone enforcing a no-kill rule while we’re minors, and making sure we’ve got access to medical care and whatever?” 

“Jason Todd. Barbara Gordon. Stephanie Brown.” 

Steph froze. 

Hood leaned forward, the green glow fully back. “Batman failed you. He’s going to keep failing, and kids are going to keep dying, as long as Joker’s alive. As long as Black Mask is alive. As long as Batman keeps refusing to do what needs to be done.” 

“Who are you?” 

“Doesn’t matter.” 

“The hell it doesn’t.” She clutched at the bedding, cotton crumpling in her fists. “How do you know those names?” 

“Finally realizing you shouldn’t have come here, Brown?” 

Hood leaned back in his chair and Steph bolted. She could see her grapple by the window, piled neatly with her gear on top of the dresser. She might not get away clean, but she couldn’t stay. She had to try. 

Hood’s arm wrapped around her waist and they went down hard, her vision whiting out as pain radiated out from her cracked ribs. She landed on top of him and drove an elbow into his throat, but she was still weak from the blood loss, and she couldn’t think clearly, and she barely made it two feet before he was on her again. 

Her injured thigh throbbed as she fought to stand, and she was dragged back to the floor, a hand slamming into her shoulder, pinning her to the stained carpet. Stained with her own blood from the night before. The lenses of his mask were pure green, and she’d been a damned fool, and no one even knew where she was.

She managed to free one arm and went for his face, raking her nails across his forehead, scrabbling at the edge of the mask. If she was going to die again, she’d at least make sure his skin was under her nails, and dammit she would know the bastard who killed her-

She sucked in a breath. 

She knew that face. 

Not well, she’d never met him in person. But the manor was filled with pictures of that face. The eyes might be a little greener than she’d expected, and the white stripe was absolutely a lame fashion statement, but that was him. Jason freaking Todd. The martyr, the example, the cautionary tale that Bruce had told over and over again. 

Jason went still, the green flare in his eyes beginning to dim. 

Steph swallowed and closed her eyes. But he was still there when she reopened them. “Fuck.” 

Jason rolled off her, crouching a couple feet away. Between her and the window. “Do I get an opinion on Robin now?” 

“Fuck!” Steph sat up slowly, breathing through the pain. She stared at the wall, trying to get her head to stop spinning. “You were dead!” 

“So were you.” 

“No, like actually dead! I flatlined for a few minutes and faked it a while longer, but you were…they buried you! It was a whole thing! I’ve seen the autopsy records!” 

“Yeah, I was there.” He tugged up the hem of the Wonder Woman shirt, and Jesus Christ, he had the scars. 

“Fuck!” her voice cracked.

He had the audacity to smirk. Or maybe he’d earned the right to smirk. 

Steph lifted a hand. “How? Do I want to know how?” 

“Can’t tell you much. Can’t, not won’t. Woke up in my grave, dug my way out, was still brain dead for a while, Talia al Ghul dunked me in a Lazarus Pit, and here I am.” 

“The hell is a Lazarus Pit?” 

“Radioactive Gatorade that Ra’s al Ghul likes to use as a jacuzzi. Kills the living and brings back anyone on the verge of death.” 

“Right, of course. Makes total sense. Explains the whole…” she waved a hand, “glowy eyes thing, I guess. What the hell, Jason?”

“You should get back in bed. I’m not gonna kill you. Nothing left to hide.” 

“It’s been three years.” 

“Yep.” 

“Do you have any idea how many times I got yelled at for-” She covered her face. “You’re an asshole,” she muttered, voice muffled by her palms. “You know I saw Dick cry last week because I stopped for a chili dog on patrol? He had to stop and take his mask off and everything.” 

Jason scowled. “Lying isn’t going to get you anywhere.” 

“Why the hell would I lie about that? There was snot all over his suit. It was so awkward.” 

“He didn’t even show up to my funeral, he’s not crying over me.” 

“He was in space , you dumbass!” Steph dropped her hands to stare at him again. “Did you do any research before you came back to throw a tantrum? Dick didn’t even get back for like a month after. He didn’t know! And yeah, that’s messed up, but it’s not because he didn’t care ! There was no way to get him back sooner, and no one wanted him to get hurt because he was distracted and grieving for you!” 

She heaved herself up, swallowing down pain and bile as she crawled back onto the bed. Jason sat and watched her, face blank, and she flung her dirty fork at him. “There’s a whole charity for street kids in your name. We don’t patrol in Crime Alley because it’s so triggering for Dick and Bruce, they can’t set foot here without having panic attacks. Alfred dusts your room every week, and your apron is still in the kitchen.” 

“My apron?” 

“The one with the weird thing about boiled potatoes on it?” Steph let her head thump back against the wall. “Oh my god. Red Hood is a former theater kid. This makes so much sense.” 

A trace of color finally returned to his face. “Shut up.” 

“Alfred’s gonna kick your butt. After Dick finishes hugging you for like 18 hours straight.” 

“You’re not going to tell them.”

“Not really my news to break, but you’re going to.” 

“That’s not in the plan.” 

“Oh, the plan?” Steph tried to fold her arms, but had to concede to her ribs, which were probably more than just cracked now. “Please, tell me more. Does it involve a dramatic showdown?” 

“Batman has to kill the Joker.”

“Okay, well, that’s not going to happen, so the plan sucks already.” 

His face was turning redder, and she couldn’t tell if it was embarrassment or anger. His eyes weren’t glowing much, so she was leaning toward the first option. “Every day that clown is loose, more lives are at risk!” 

“Yep. Agreed. Batman’s not gonna kill him. Kill him yourself if you need to. But a plan that relies on Batman killing him is doomed to failure, and we both know it.” 

“They should have gone after him! They should have gotten revenge! If I wasn’t enough, you should have been! Barbie should have been!” 

“Nightwing did.” 

And once again, she could see his brain screech to a halt. Now that she wasn’t outright panicking, this was almost fun. She could practically see the smoke coming out his ears. “Nightwing,” he repeated, clearly doubtful. 

“Killed Joker. He got resuscitated, but you said it counts for me, so it counts for him. Dick beat the shit out of him. Over you.” 

“Golden Boy?” 

“You have to know the Boneless Wonder has rage issues. It’s kind of a prerequisite for Robins. We’ve been barely keeping him in check since you made vague threats toward Tim.” 

“Thought you weren’t a Bat anymore,” Jason muttered. 

Steph gave him her most unimpressed eyebrows. “Men will really do anything, up to and including starting an entire gang war, before going to therapy. It’s fucking embarrassing.” She shook her head. “Look, I’ve got no real skin in this game. I’m pissed that you decided becoming a crime lord was a more reasonable route than freaking EMDR, but there’s a reason I’m not Robin anymore. 

“I get being angry at Batman, and I get chafing at the rules. I don’t get the whole digging out of your own grave and swimming in Gatorade thing, and like…sure, you gotta find a way to deal with that. But blatantly ignoring the mountain of evidence that your family loves you and would do anything to bring you home isn’t helping anyone.” She threw the other fork at him. “Get your act together, Todd. Stop taking your daddy issues out on the city.” 

Jason twined his fingers over his head, staring at the floor. After a minute he started to shake. Steph waited, a little tense, wondering if he would start yelling and greening out again. She slowly realized he was laughing. 

He tipped his head back, a guffaw breaking free, and there was no trace of green in his eyes, but there might have been a couple tears. “Not a bat, she says. Not part of the family.” 

Steph scowled. “What?” 

“That was the most little sister speech I’ve ever heard. You managed to snark the goddamn Pit out of my head.” Jason rolled to his feet and headed for the kitchen. “I’m not taking your word for it. I’m not telling anyone.” His voice echoed from the kitchen as he set more water to heat for tea. “But I’ll look into it. Your claims aren’t matching with the intel I got, so someone’s gotta be wrong. If it’s you, we’ll be seeing each other again real soon, and it won’t be so friendly. If it’s Talia…” He returned to the kitchen doorway, lounging against the wall with all the casual threat of a panther. “She and I are gonna have a real close and personal talk about fucking with my head.” 

Steph snorted, relaxing back against the wall. “You dramatic ho.” 

“Brat.” 

“When I’m right about everything, you owe me twenty bucks.” 

Chapter Text

It was a few weeks before she was back on patrol. The first night she was out, Nightwing just happened to be in Gotham, and was very casually insistent that he had planned on taking the same patrol route. Spoiler didn’t protest much; she was a little out of shape after the weeks of recovery, and it had been a while since she’d worked with Nightwing. He could be annoying, but he was good , and there were few people with whom she moved as smoothly in the field. 

They landed on the roof of Wayne Memorial Hospital and Nightwing stopped, stretching like he had nowhere to be. “One sec, just gotta get warmed up a little more.” 

It was a blatant ploy to make her stop and catch her breath, and Steph let it slide. She slowly paced the roof, keeping warm while her lungs caught up. A glint of red on a nearby rooftop caught her eye, and a smile crept across her face. She waved cheerily. “Heya, Hoodie! How’s the throat?” 

Nightwing whipped around, reaching for his escrima sticks. Hood ducked out of sight, but Nightwing was already running, grapple in hand. Spoiler grinned, chasing the two of them. 

Hood was fast, but he was built like a tank these days, and they were faster. Especially Nightwing, who blazed ahead like a fury. Hood made it as far as the library before Nightwing caught up, swinging directly into his back, slamming him to the ground with the full force of his landing. They tumbled across the roof in a blur of red and black, and Spoiler hit the roof rolling, coming out of a somersault a few feet from where the two men stopped. Nightwing had the taser end of one escrima stick pressed to Hood’s chest, but Hood’s pistol was pressed to the side of his head. 

Spoiler bounced to her feet, tucking her grapple back in her belt. “Nice night for patrol. Dick, you don’t want to hurt him.” 

Nightwing went very still, and she saw Red Hood twitch like he was shooting her a poisonous glare from under the helmet. She waggled her fingers in a wave. 

“Spoiler…” Nightwing’s voice was low, and absolutely furious. 

“You have that talk with Talia yet, Fuckface?” 

“I did.” Hood grated out, growl enhanced by the mask. 

“And what did she have to say for herself?” Spoiler crouched next to the men, resting her chin in her hands. 

Nightwing’s fingers tightened on the escrima stick. “Spoiler, get back.” 

Hood lay still and silent for a moment. “She said I owe you twenty bucks.” 

She punched the air. “ Yeah you do! Dick, get off him.” 

“Spoiler!” 

“Shut up, Dickface, she’s not telling me anything I don’t know.” Hood let his pistol drop, flicking the safety back on. 

Nightwing didn’t move. “You threatened Robin.” 

“Yep, I did do that.” 

“Stop being stupid.” Steph wrapped a hand around the escrima stick, pulling it gently back from Hood’s chest. “I was right, you were wrong, you’re both idiots, and you’re going to deal with this like big boys. Otherwise Alfred’s going to kick both your butts when he finds out.” 

Nightwing was giving her the Batglare, but she ignored him. 

“Spoiler, I’m not-” 

“Yes, you are.” She kicked Hood’s ankle. “Because it’s been six weeks, and you already know Talia lied, and Alfred dusted again yesterday, and I’m done watching everyone mope around for the sake of a plan you already know isn’t working. You tell him or I do.” 

Nightwing eased off Hood, who rolled to his feet. They stood facing each other, still in ready stances. Steph rolled her eyes. 

“Tell me what?” 

Hood glared at her one last time. “You’re an asshole .” 

Steph bowed with a flourish. “I prefer unholy menace.” 

He unlatched the helmet, and the escrima sticks rose a couple inches. The domino was still on, but Steph watched Dick, and she knew a mask could only do so much. They’d all seen each other in and out of masks so many times. The color leeched from Dick’s face, and the escrima sticks dropped, clattering on the rooftop. 

“You can’t…”

“It’s me, Dickiebird.” 

Dick glanced at her, and there was panic in it. “Spoiler?” 

“It’s him.” 

He turned back to his brother, and Steph realized he was shaking. “They- Alfred buried you. Bruce saw you- Talia?” 

“Dumped me in her dad’s bathtub.” 

Dick flung himself forward, and somehow his much larger brother almost disappeared in the hug. A ragged sob broke from his throat, and he buried his face in Jason’s shoulder. “You buttface!” 

Jason snorted, but he was blinking back tears, wrapping his arms around Dick’s waist. “Way to make a guy feel welcome.” 

“You’ve been here for months! At least! You absolute asshole! You had us all convinced you actually wanted Robin dead!” 

“Yeah, well.” Jason patted his back awkwardly. “Turns out my intel was kinda skewed.” 

Dick laughed shakily. “Talia. I’m going to tear her arms off.” 

“Before you do, there’s another kid we need to get out of there.” 

“Another?” Dick actually let go, stepping back to study Jason’s face. 

“B kinda has a bio kid? With Talia?”

Steph’s eyes widened. Oh, this was playing out even juicier than she’d expected. 

“A kid?” 

“He’s a little fucked up. Growing up as an al Ghul will do that to you. But he’s a good kid under it.” 

“Christ.” Dick tipped his head back, flicking back the lenses of his mask so he could wipe the tears from his eyes. “Okay. We’ll deal with that tomorrow. Right now I need to process you being here. S, you knew !” 

“I figured it out a little while ago.” 

“She broke into my safehouse, ate my food, and ripped off my domino.” 

“Yeah, that sounds like our girl.” 

“She’s also very convinced that she’s not a Bat. Or part of the family.” 

“What?” 

Steph suddenly found herself in the laser sights of Dick’s attention. She held up her hands, taking a step back. “Okay, tonight is not about me. This is a family reunion, and I played my part, so I’m gonna go finish patrol now-” 

“You see?” Jason flung his arm out. “What is this bullshit?” 

“You don’t think you’re family?” Dick took a step toward her, clamping a hand around Jason’s wrist and dragging him along. “You have a bedroom at the manor. You were Robin . Agent A made you a birthday dinner and we all sang to you. You have a designated cocoa mug. I called you my baby sister last week !” 

Jason shook his head, trying to casually disentangle himself. “Wow, S, that’s pretty sad.” 

“I dated your brother!” 

Dick’s face was a sight to behold. “FAMILY.” 

Jason tsked. “And you accuse us of emotional incompetence.” 

Dick tightened his grip on Jason’s wrist. “You are both idiots, and you’re both coming home. We are going to tell A you’re alive, and you will both drink cocoa out of your designated mugs, and we’re going to let B run all his tests so he doesn’t have a panic attack, and then we are all spending the night in B’s bed, because I’m not letting any of you out of my sight for at least five business days.” 

“My mom-” 

Dick lunged, and Steph was suddenly locked in, his arm steel-solid around her waist. “Is a lovely woman and welcome to join us at the manor.” He somehow tapped his comm without loosening his grip on either of them. “All agents, return to the Cave. Mandatory family meeting with cocoa. O, I know you’ve got eyes on us, no spilling until we’re home. A, please have tissues ready. It’s gonna be a long night. B, no stalling. I promise this is more important than anything you spot on the way back.” 

“Your feet are like ice,” Steph muttered. 

“Yeah, I’ve run cold since I came back.” 

“‘Course you have, you zombie.” 

“Move up, then you don’t have to feel them.” 

She inched up the mattress, trying not to wake the others. Dick was sprawled half-across Jason’s chest, his legs tangled with Bruce on the other side. Tim was curled on the far side of the bed, barely visible beyond Bruce’s bulk. Steph settled her head on Jason’s shoulder and he snugged her closer. 

He was still cool, but the t-shirt he’d borrowed from Bruce was worn soft, and the shadows of the dark bedroom were, too. Dick slid his hand up to rest lightly on her arm, and she felt herself drift back toward sleep. 

“Glad you’re back, J,” she murmured. 

“Yeah.” He smoothed her hair away from his face. “Thanks, kid.”