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The door gets stuck against the floorboards when the landlord tries to open it. Scratching on the doorstep, the thing leaves long imprints on the swollen laminate, finally swinging forward.
The force makes it noisy. The landlord turns to Josh, throwing a yellow smile his way, sweat sticking to his upper lip. “You have to, like,” start the huffing, words breaking in short streaks, “yank it up and then lean forward. That’ll do the trick.”
Josh nods his head mutely. He takes a cautious step inside the apartment, looming behind the other’s back as if worried someone was going to attack them.
The place is a lot smaller than what the pictures had implied. Maybe it’s the stifling shade of the tarnished walls, or the landlord’s inability to stay in one place.
Josh looks around. He inhales the air as little as he can. It’s not a lot that he can take, really, it’s just that bad. The air smells like someone died in there. The walls are a mess of brownish yellow. He’s pretty sure they used to be white, same as the ceiling and the moldings, but now? Definitely not.
There’s no balcony, Josh notes as his eyes run from one corner to the next. He doesn’t dare to try and open the windows. Without doubt, the previous inhabitant has done a lifelong worth of smoking indoors, hence the rotten atmosphere. It should be forbidden altogether, Josh swears, breathing through his mouth as he tries to push his disgust down, his earlier craving for nicotine kicked right out of his head.
Some of the old furniture remain; Josh has come to an actual estate this time. A green two-person couch with shabby fabric graces the poor thing, an ugly blanket set on top of it to hide the worst of the holes. Josh jumps back at what seems to be a rat scurrying under the thing in his peripheral vision. Just a trick of light or his wild imagination, Josh hopes, and fears the next room before he even sees it.
Reluctantly he follows the man into the bedroom. The only window with no curtains greets him there, the midday sun flowing into the dusty room. Josh sees his own reflection in the giant mirror closet, the only thing that looks relatively clean. Relatively.
“Is that a blood stain?” Josh points, standing a good distance away from the bizarre mark on the floor.
The landlord gives him a vague shrug at the sight of it. “I don’t know. Maybe. Nobody got killed here though, that’s for sure. Not for as long as I’ve been here.”
“And how long have you been here?”
“Long enough. Kitchen?”
Josh steps aside. Behind him on the wall is another spot. Oddly, the shape reminds him of Ohio, slightly chopped off at the right corner. Josh watches it and leaves it be, thinking about the old world map his parents had hung up on his wall in his childhood bedroom. He can’t shrug away his teenage dreams, mixed with naivety and the unstoppable desire to take over the world. Even after all the hard work, bad decisions and some more work, he has come back to the same place, hauling his bones back to Columbus.
He’s still holding his breath when they enter the kitchen. Well, Josh enters. They can’t fit in at the same time.
He turns the pipes carefully. They screech at the same time, spitting muddy brown rust as he does. It hasn’t been used in a long time. It needs to be run for a good while before he could even think about drinking from the tap. Maybe not even after that.
He doesn’t even want to see the bathroom.
At this point his life evokes an image of those cliche rockstar movies that he has wasted his time on for a regrettable amount of times. A poor musician, actor, or a runaway teen goes apartment hunting with a limited budget and ends up doing stuff with their landlord, only to end up dying way too young at the end of it.
Everything in this place matches, albeit Josh is not a languishing artist. Not yet, at least. He just likes to play with his thoughts. And the drums.
He also likes cheap apartments, but this is an all time low sight, and he’d have to be either a drug addict or a dealer to live in such a place.
Dirt and grime, thick enough so you can bath in it.
Check.
Rodents and other scary animals afoot.
Check.
Dirty, undrinkable water from rusted pipes.
Check.
The unidentified stain on the floor holding secrets of possible past acts of violence or self harm.
Check, check.
“Do you happen to have anything cleaner available?”
The landlord’s breath hitches.
“Not as clean as this one.”
Josh pokes the carpet with the wary tip of his shoe. It skids across the floor, but nothing crawls out of it.
The man goggles him with desperation in his eyes.
Josh turns to look at him. “Yeah, I’m not gonna take it.”
*
Someone does. Josh can’t believe his eyes as he arranges his humble collection of vinyls and family photos, trying to figure out a sensible order for his decorations.
“I can’t believe it.”
Josh presses his fingers against the glass, smudging greasy prints all over the window. It doesn’t matter. He’s going to wash them any day now, whenever the sun decides to appear. He hasn’t had the time to do that yet. So he presses forth, his wide eyes greet him in his own reflection as he stares outside, right into the neighboring complex where the only bright light shines into the night.
Needless to say, Josh found himself an apartment. It’s a tidy condominium, the apartment being renovated a while ago. A nice landlady, collecting the rent once per month. She allows pets but Josh doesn’t have any. The walls are painted with a soothing shade of gray, Josh is totally rocking it with his bright yellow pillows with smiling cats embroidered on them.
But hey, ignore the cats. The dude in the opposite apartment complex is now setting a stool in front of the window. He’s wearing a beat-down flannel shirt, red of its color and sprinkled with white paint. There’s a respirator mask over his face as he clambers on the shabby steps with a screwdriver in his hand. He reaches up, wringing whatever he’s trying to take off above the window, and-
And wait, isn’t that Tyler?
The dawning is like a lightning bolt right into Tyler’s brain (yeah, it’s definitely Tyler), because he glances to his right at the same time and their eyes lock, and it’s the awkwardest reunion Josh has ever had, partly because the timing couldn’t be any weirder.
Tyler is just as amazed as him. He rips the mask off immediately, shaking his head as the strings tickle his ear shells where the thing continues to hang off.
Josh can read his lips without a problem.
What the fuck, Josh?
He's about to smile and wave like an idiot, but the moment he’s about to lift his hand, the thing that Tyler was screwing off falls off from the other end, swinging sideways, and Tyler ducks backwards in surprise. The stool he had climbed on gives in at the shifted weight, and Tyler falls all the way on his back, a cloud of dust puffing in the stark worksite lamp. Josh can’t hear anything, but he bets that the clamor is awful.
The last thing Josh sees is Tyler’s right foot. Then he’s gone. Josh looks for any clues and glimpses, but nothing happens, other than the dust settling. Tyler is gone just as quickly as he had appeared. Josh’s fingers are on the glass again, worrying starting to creep in as Tyler doesn’t get up.
He can’t see how he fell, can’t see if he’s okay.
Josh fidgets anxiously, shifting from foot to foot. He’s about to rush out and call the disgusting landlord, or just jump into the shitty hole of an apartment right through the window.
He doesn’t have time to do either of those things, because Tyler appears at the window again.
He holds up a sheet of paper with bold shaky letters written on it. A black marker, Josh is close enough to read it.
Got a car? it reads.
“Yeah?” Josh says out loud. Tyler reads his lips. He awkwardly turns the paper around with his left hand.
The text is upside down. Josh crooks his head like a puppy, and twists his hand like opening a jar of jam.
Tyler sees his error and turns the paper around.
I think I broke my wrist.
“Shit.”
Tyler grimaces a smile at his answer. Josh can see that he’s shaking.
Tyler shows him another text.
Can you drive me to the hospital?
*
Josh hadn’t really expected to meet his ex boyfriend that night, but he doesn’t really question it either as he takes Tyler to the check up. Honestly, he would have hugged him if Tyler hadn’t groaned and moaned in pain as he had tramped to Josh’s car, not even having his coat on as his swollen wrist had taken its toll on him.
It’s definitely broken, Josh thinks, stealing quick glances at Tyler’s lap where his heavy coat rests on top of his restless thighs, making it bounce as Tyler keeps complaining about his hand. It's crooked and bruised, starting to swell around the obvious fracture. Josh wishes he’d realized to snatch something from the freezer for Tyler to use it before hurrying outside to the parking lot. Tyler wasn’t any smarter.
Good ideas always come too late.
There aren’t too many patients before them, so Josh leaves to buy groceries while they’re in the city, a 24/7 shop conveniently close to the hospital. It can’t be a coincidence. It’s chilly enough to leave the bag in his car, and Josh does, blowing warm air into his hands before lighting a cigarette.
“I didn’t think you’d still do that.”
Josh turns to follow the voice, meeting eyes with Tyler. He walks towards him with a weird cast around his arm, a sling secured around it.
That was fast.
“I don’t,” Josh says. “I’m quitting. This is the last pack.”
“Smells like mint,” Tyler sighs tiredly and goes inside the car to wait for Josh to finish.
Putting the butt into the cigarette trash, Josh finishes his smoke and hops onto the driver’s seat. Tyler is leaning against the headrest with his beanie low over his face, fiddling with his cast. His fingers run through the barely noticeable seams of it, the apple of his throat bops as he swallows.
The plastic cast is bright red and doesn’t look like an ordinary cast at all. It covers Tyler’s forearm nearly up to his elbow, looking sturdy enough to get the broken bones back to normal.
“I’ve never seen a cast like that,” is the first thing Josh says after inspecting it long enough to have something sensible to comment on. Tyler groans, throwing his head down and pulling his hat off, hair disheveled.
“Why is it plastic? I wanted one of those traditional ones that you could draw on!” He complains like a disappointed kid after a poor haul in a candy shop. Josh didn’t expect it to be the first thing Tyler whines about.
He starts the car. “Oh yeah. Penises and all that stuff.”
“Yes. The bigger the better,” Tyler agrees.
“You should have asked for one.”
“What, a bigger dick?”
“No,” Josh laughs. “The one with real plaster on it.”
Tyler sighs, sounding devastated. “The doctor lady looked tired. I didn’t have the heart to start whining. As if I wasn’t doing that already. This thing hurts like hell, man.”
Josh steers his car out of the quiet parking lot. “Did you get any pain medication for it?” he asks.
“I got the first doze in the hospital. But the drug store is closed already. I’ll have to wait and get the whole prescription tomorrow,” Tyler says and slumps back onto his seat again, looking at the nightly abandoned cars in the parking lot. The metal blinks back the orange color of the street lamps and merges into one with the color of Tyler’s beanie.
Josh puts the blinker on, throwing a glance over his shoulder before switching lanes. “Need a ride?”
“I’ll be fine,” Tyler fends off, thoughtfully nibbling his finger and following a woman walking her dog until they drive past. Somehow it doesn’t feel like they haven’t seen each other for what must be almost ten years. Tyler has aged just handsomely, looking nowhere near bad with his dirty work clothes and the earlier used marker poking out of the front pocket of his shirt.
Their conversation is flowing easily. However driving along the highway takes them quickly back to their shared neighborhood, and they really don’t get much time to catch up.
Reversing the car back to its place, Josh kills the engine, keys jingling.
Tyler looks disappointed. But he talks, starting to mutter the unnecessary courtesies. “Thanks Josh. Really I’m-“
Tyler doesn’t have time to finish before Josh reaches for Tyler’s chest, making his breath catch in his throat. His chin doubles, following Josh’s doings, and huffs amusedly as Josh only snatches the marker from his front pocket without asking.
Josh opens the cap. “Let’s see if the permanent marker sticks on it.”
Tyler is quick to jump into their test, offering Josh his right arm eagerly. However the marker doesn’t want to participate, smudging right away on the fine plastic of the cast. Josh pouts, and leans down, taking a hold of Tyler’s left hand instead. He starts doodling on the soft skin there, blocking Tyler’s view.
“Dude,” Tyler laughs. His eyes tick as Josh keeps going. He’s not drawing, Tyler says, it’s more like writing. Trying to guess what Josh was doing, he has to give up as Josh’s head blocks the sight.
He’s done quickly. Getting back up, Josh smiles and caps the marker, and Tyler pulls his hand back, moving his sleeve aside and seeing what is marking his skin in addition to his tattoos now.
“Aww,” Tyler coos and lets his eyes flicker as he looks back at Josh.
He got Josh’s phone number.
*
It’s late, but Josh’s phone rings soon after he’s parted ways with Tyler. He’s just gotten back to his apartment and started to clear the groceries when his phone screen lights up. It’s an unknown number, but Josh picks it up anyway as he fixes soup for himself. He’s not sleepy, and a late night snack sounds good.
“Hello?”
“This is kinda embarrassing.”
Josh can’t believe his ears as he hears that voice so soon again.
So he asks anyway,
“Is this Tyler?”
“The one and only,” Tyler says. “I forgot my keys inside. I could call the landlord and get them but it says here that he charges 50 bucks to open the door if it happens after 9pm or on the weekends.”
“Cockamamie,” Josh says and Tyler quiets down as if hitting a wall, thrown back by Josh’s vocabulary only to start laughing.
“Yeah,” Tyler goes. “That’s fucking cockamamie.” It’s quiet for a while before Tyler speaks again, clearly abashed of his request. “I was wondering if I could crash at your place until tomorrow morning. It’s cool if you don’t want to, I’m ready to take the lesson from the big guy, but-“
“Come on over,” Josh says without even thinking about it. “I’ll drive you to the pharmacy tomorrow morning.”
There’s shuffling at the other side of the line, with Tyler probably shifting from one foot to another, moving like he can’t contain himself.
“This is nuts,” comes Tyler’s voice through the speaker. “You’re still the very same nice guy as you were back then.” There’s the familiar warm voice in Tyler’s words, and Josh can tell that he’s smiling even from just the sound of them. Leaning his hand on the doorway, Josh chuckles at the comment, smile barely fading as he waits for Tyler to continue.
And he does. “I’ll be over soon then, if that’s okay. Just gonna take care of something first. There’s a buzzer at the main entrance right? I’ll see you soon.”
Josh nods. “Okay.”
“Okay. Well. Bye."
“Bye Tyler. I’ll see you.”
“Uh, yeah. See ya.”
The microwave beeps at the same time the call ends, green light flashing for warm food.
*
Tyler takes a while, but arrives with two pizzas hazardously in his hands. He grins crookedly, like a kid getting caught from a prank red-handed. Being careful with his broken wrist and trying not to grunt, Tyler offers the boxes like an honest peace-offering.
“For my fuck ups,” Tyler says. “And the rent over your couch for the night.”
Josh takes them, shrugging acceptingly. “I’m not really hungry but I could eat,” he says, the soup eaten only minutes before throwing a tantrum in his belly.
“One of my favorite things about you,” Tyler says, kicking his shoes off with nimble toes to his aid. The laces are untied, snuck inside his shoes to keep him from tripping on them. “I hope you still like pepperoni.”
They settle on the couch, all the usual politeness in the presence of a new acquaintance nowhere near them. Hell, they are no strangers to each other. They’ve been Together with the capital T for more than what it requires to reach the measures of what Josh would call an unhealthy symbiosis. That was in the past, but their metaphorical table is not started from a clean one.
“Nice apartment you have here,” Tyler comments, throwing his feet over the coffee table and inspecting the place up and down. “I didn’t expect that these hoods would offer something like this.”
“Finding it was an accident, really,” Josh says, settling his arm over the backrest and picking up a slice of pizza. “To be honest I went to check out the exact same apartment that you got, and this place got freed soon after that.”
“No way,” Tyler gasps, whole body kicking forward as he stares at Josh. He licks his lips clean off the dry flour. “It was an estate, you know? Some old man with no family lived there until he died. No heirs to claim the place after he passed. It’s pretty sad really. But it was sold nice and cheap and makes a good profit after renovation. I’m one of the contractors. Was gonna help to get it sold forth, but… well. Things just happened.”
Josh purses his lips, getting a picture of what Tyler’s been up to for all these years. His head fills with a million questions, a few breaking free on their own.
“Why would you want to fix an apartment in a complex like that? The way I understood it, the whole place is full of junkies and guys who beat the shit out of their… whatever,” Josh reasons, looking at Tyler as if it was the only thing in the world that he didn’t understand. ”It’s more likely that people living there will get an eviction. Or get their asses killed.”
Tyler only shrugs, telling that he didn’t really think about these things.
“They’re cheap,” he repeats. “I only fix these shit holes and make sure they get sold. I’ve been working in my uncle’s company for years. He’s very much into investing and juicing young tenants’ spines off of money. One thing that I've learnt, after leaving, you know," he says, quieting down at the last part.
“Do you think you can work with that thing?” Josh asks and points at Tyler’s cast, resting against his chest. The other sighs, fishing his phone out of his pocket, slightly struggling with his left hand.
“It’s gonna take some time to heal,” Tyler says miserably and unlocks his phone. All the while, he shuffles closer to Josh, pressing against him without a second thought and bringing the screen up to both of their faces.
“Oh, dude. It went almost all the way through,” Josh winces, taking Tyler’s phone in his hand and inspecting the photos from the X-ray.
“Yeah,” Tyler says, sliding his finger against the screen to show another picture and pointing at the clear shadow in the radius. “Basically, if the bones here shift even slightly, it’s gonna blow the whole thing up and I'll have to go back in and get plates or screws put in it or whatever. Basically a full surgery, I don’t really understand how it works."
"Yeah."
"There’s a two-week window, the doctor said. I have to go show it again someday soon but until then…”
“Gotta be careful,” Josh concludes, zooming on the photos.
“Yep,” Tyler pops his lips and pulls his phone back. ”I have to text Zack. I didn’t say anything about broken bones yet,” he continues and props his phone against the swell of Josh’s thigh. “He lives close by. I was gonna bunk at his place until the apartment would be suitable for sleeping. Don't have to, now. I’ll tell him that I ran into you. He’ll remember you.”
“Just make sure that he doesn’t think that I broke you,” Josh says, fearing for his safety for a second.
Tyler texts. “That’s debatable,” he twits and Josh laughs, leaning his head closer towards Tyler’s, keeping an eye on his screen - just in case. Tyler doesn’t seem bothered at all.
“But really,” Josh muses by himself. “Your brother is still living here? How’s he doing?”
“Good. Living with his wife and their kid. His roots are deeper in the ground than mine. Same with my other siblings.”
“What about you then? Seeing anyone?” Josh asks carefully, watching Tyler tap away with one finger in the same way his mother does.
“Who, me? I’m not seeing anyone,” Tyler says and presses even closer against Josh, nuzzling deeper into their warm cocoon. Josh doesn’t fight as they slump more into a lying position, settling comfortably next to each other. The sheets Josh had pulled out of the closet and set on top of the arm rest for Tyler to use lose their meaning soon enough. Tyler yawns, phone flapping against Josh’s belly where Tyler’s hand rubs the two together, eyes starting to fall shut.
Josh lets him relax against himself, starting to drift off as well. He assumes Tyler has already dozed off but realizes it’s only him when Tyler talks, staring up at him and pulling him back to consciousness.
“You started dyeing your hair,” he says in awe as if he didn’t have time to note it earlier. He looks for a better position for his head and finds it against Josh’s shoulder, eyes still nailed to his dying curls.
“Yeah,” Josh answers, rubbing his thumb over Tyler’s paint littered flannel, smelling like dust.
“I like it.”
Tyler is not awake by the time his phone makes a noise. Josh glances down and sees Zack’s name appear in the reply, accompanied with a winking emoji and the words Good luck! before it.
*
Tyler sucks a hickey into his neck the next morning. Really there’s nothing weird about it, it just happens; Josh can imagine the feeling of his bristle tingling against Tyler’s lips, forming colors as Tyler’s mouth works on the spot, tongue languid but daring.
Using his sore muscles to turn his head after sleeping the whole night on the couch, Josh gives Tyler more space to get on. Humming, Tyler’s sigh is a soft sound in his ears, coming forth in a gentle stroke of breathing against his neck.
It makes him shiver. The touches could easily lead to something more. Their breathing grows heavier, hands moving and roaming the clothed bodies all over. Hands find their way under shirts, they’re both clearly wanting to get things further. However Tyler draws his breath back shakily and stops, suddenly sinking his sharp teeth in his flesh without a warning, hard.
“Ow,” Josh grunts more in confusion than anything else, producing Tyler’s face to appear in front of his own.
“I need those damn pain killers,” Tyler says, nearly trembling himself with his hair mussed like fluff on a baby bird’s head. Dried up drool at the corner of his mouth, Tyler scrambles up after having more or less crawled on top of Josh, leaving space between them.
Josh lets him go, and it’s his turn to let a shaky breath past his lips. His pants are just a little bit tighter than what they were, like, fifteen minutes ago. Tyler doesn’t notice, or if he does, he’s a dirty pretender. Grinning wickedly despite being in pain, Tyler bounces up to his feet, picking up a dry piece of pizza crust and putting the whole length of it into his mouth, like a champ.
“Let’s go.”
*
Josh offers him coffee, which Tyler declines. Still not into that dirt water, Tyler says and roams his toiletries while Josh shrugs, chugging the whole thing in a few giant gulps as Tyler spurts his mouth with some water and toothpaste.
It can’t be better than coffee, although he needs to remind himself to get spare toothbrushes, just in case.
They drive to the nearest drugstore.
Josh gets a pack of nicotine patches as Tyler does his own business. He smokes a cigarette outside.
“How many of those are left?” Tyler asks, munching on a soft taco they got from a drive-through before taking a pill in his nearly empty stomach.
“Four,” Josh says, blowing out the rest of the smoke and getting rid of the damn thing.
“You’re doing great.”
The staircase smells the same as it did the last time. Indoor smoking, the reek is literally breathtaking in the worst way possible. Josh holds it in again as the big guy with his yellow teeth meets them in the hallway, sweating in the same shirt as before.
He still charges Tyler some money, just not as much as he would if the time was different. The dude takes the money before assenting to open the door for them. Tyler throws a tight smile his way, face falling the second the man turns to let them into the apartment.
The door doesn’t stick on the floor anymore. The old laminate is gone now, replaced by a bunch of cardboard glued on the floor with yellow tape. The walls and the ceiling are white now, giving the place a completely different impression. To his surprise, the smell doesn’t bother him anymore either.
“Stench trap,” Tyler explains but opens the window anyway, the dust from the abrasion still strong in the air. “A man’s best friend when it comes to places like this. It has dried up just nicely,” Tyler mutters, inspecting the wall with his hand.
Taking a few steps before turning around, Tyler sighs heavily as he watches the scene. “Well. That’s pretty much all I got done here.”
Josh comes back from the bedroom, having wondered whether Ohio was still on its hinges. It wasn’t. Tyler has done a great job getting the apartment back to its viable measures, even if it meant stripping the thing to its concrete shell.
Behind Tyler’s back, a crooked thing of a metallic curtain rail hangs free from the other end. It’s the thing he had tried to screw off that night, however it ended up raising a rebellion and throwing Tyler on the floor, breaking his bones. It’s an ugly old thing, surely heavy as it had scratched the wall, leaving behind scratch marks that need to be patched up later.
On the floor lies a poor excuse of a stool, the legs of it dangling in the air like a dead animal, a thing that you definitely shouldn’t climb on to reach higher.
“I shouldn’t have climbed on that thing,” Tyler mutters sadly, making a discontent gesture with his head, casting his eyes downwards and pulling his beanie from his head again. Tyler sighs. “It was one of those ' Well, I'll just do this one more task before leaving' type of thing. Then I hit the ground, like a pig trying to fly. Here’s the result.”
There he stands, looking sad as he cradles his broken bones against his chest.
“I don’t think I can continue working on this thing for a while. I’m kind of in pain even now," Tyler admits. "It just hurts, man," he laughs humorlessly. His face falls quickly.
He sounds so disappointed in himself. Josh nods slowly, probably accepting the given cards a lot easier than Tyler. “There’s no mind getting it any worse, then. You might still need that surgery, so it’s like… good to not do stuff with it and just rest.”
“I don’t think Zack is gonna appreciate me slacking off in his house for months to come. Brother or not, I can’t do that to their family,” Tyler says, shaking his head and meeting eyes with Josh.
“He doesn’t have to,” Josh says immediately. “You can live with me.”
Even in the middle of the chaos, Josh's words are enough to get Tyler to smile again. It’s not the brightest one, but it’s there.
“I was hoping you’d say that. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”
Josh smiles. There’s this prosperity in the middle of unluckiness.
*
They’re equal when it comes to mess making, but Tyler considers himself a guest, profusely apologizing and cursing when he knocks over a glass of juice.
Trying to get off energy drinks, Tyler craves for a RedBull more than once through the night, trying to drown his aching withdrawal in sweets. Throwing in a paper towel after paper towel, Tyler dabs his left hand against the puddle on the floor, trying to clean after himself as quickly as possible.
“I’m so bad at just living,” he exclaims with a half-eaten cookie in his mouth. “I let my mom clean after me for way too long I think. You know what she’s like, you’ve met her before.”
Josh has. It’s just that the first time was a bit unfortunate timing. She dropped by at Tyler’s first rental apartment to pass him some clothes he’d forgotten to take with him, only to catch them going for it. They probably shouldn’t have listened to the music so loudly, so that they would have heard her entering.
Nice enough lady, once she got rid of the embarrassment. Shaking hands with a guy who’s proven to be your son’s boyfriend right after the latter had gotten off his knees from sucking the said son off is not a very common occasion, Josh supposes.
A day later, Tyler had received a warning from his neighbor for making too much noise. Being so young, they had laughed about it for ten minutes straight, saying that the poor neighbors had no idea they’d done it for their own good, saving them from hearing something else. The walls were thin like paper. Josh remembers it well.
And Josh? He got invited over for dinner at Tyler’s parents’ house even after the awkward first meeting. It was a win-win situation for every party.
They’d high five, live in a good relationship with each other, and later go their separate ways.
Running a long distance relationship just wouldn’t have worked. They’d both come to the same conclusion as they talked it through, the common life took a bitter hold on both of them, school and scholarships moving them to completely different directions.
It was a hard decision, painful for both of them, but the break up was never an outcome of inflamed fights or someone cheating on the other. There would have never been a reason like that. Just life.
They were so young back then, Josh thinks now, going back in years. It’s weird how they didn’t end up keeping in touch despite all the opportunities given to them. Maybe it was too painful after all, Josh reasons as he watches Tyler squat around the floor now, wet towels massing on his palm, making everything sticky.
Somehow they end up watching The Green Mile on Netflix. Neither of them paid any attention to the duration of the movie, but after over two hours of watching, Josh grabs the remote control to check the time.
Three hours and nine minutes. They make it through, but Tyler complains more about his sore muscles than his broken bones now. He says how he can’t move, somehow still glad that they’re already settled on the couch, spooning.
“I have a bed too, you know,” Josh points out. It comes out so bluntly, nearly breathlessly. They wiggle against each other like two old men, or turtles, haphazardly turned on their backs. “Dude, move your ass.”
“Shut up,” Tyler tells him. “You’re in better shape,” he says and touches his arm, poking the lax muscle to prove his point, when really, he seems to just want to study his tattoo.
“Not after meeting you,” Josh grunts, managing to climb up. “Come on. There's no way in hell we're gonna sleep on this couch anymore.”
“Will you carry me?”
Josh’s face twists. Of course he will.
*
No, they don’t fuck that night. It certainly wasn’t on their minds anyway, but Josh wakes up to the sheets rustling restlessly beside him. Momentarily confused by Tyler's tossing and turning on the other side of the bed, he doesn’t seem to find peace. At first, Josh assumes he’s dreaming, he remembers Tyler being a lively sleeper. However his assumptions fall face forward in the asphalt when Tyler groans out loud, and his heavy intake of breaths scare the hell out of him.
He takes a look over his shoulder. “Tyler? Are you sleeping?”
It’s pitch-dark in the bedroom, and Josh’s eyes adjust slowly. Sheets rustle quickly. Tyler shakes his head. His muffled no is a clear message for Josh to flick on the small lamp over the bedpost, taking in the cause of the sudden hassle.
Josh reaches out for the switch. It clicks and snaps the light on. Tyler is biting on the corner of his blanket, holding his arm up. The light from the lamp reflects back from the cast in the same way it does with the near tears in his eyes.
Tyler drops the blanket from his teeth, the damp corner sticking to his lower lip as he talks.
“Something’s wrong,” he tells Josh, and his voice alone is enough to tell him that. “I rolled on top of my arm in my— in my sleep and. Fuck, I felt the bone fucking snapping.”
“Are you serious?” Josh keens, unsure of what to do as his head was still full of sleep.
Tyler sits up nodding, biting down his agony. He crosses his legs in the tangled sheets, and tries to edge his finger under the cast in pained desperation.
“My arm is swollen all over, please, how can I take this thing off—?” His voice shakes, catching on his fingers, nails clawing at the small bolts that the doctor had put on the cast.
Josh stops him before he can do anything inconsiderate.
“Uh, okay, maybe just calm down—“
“Don’t you tell me to calm down, my arm is on fucking fire!” His behavior is a sure signal that he’s serious, throwing aside his usual calmness.
Josh looks at him like a deer burning in headlights, nodding obediently.
“Get in the car.”
*
The bone must have dislocated somehow. The tight cast squeezes the swelling skin around it, Tyler’s fingers look like a fivesome of microwaveable sausages by the time they pull into a familiar parking lot. It’s chillier in the nighttime, Josh feels bad for Tyler as they get up from the car that had barely had enough time to warm up, the old heater barely able to cough up any warmth anymore.
Tyler has his coat thrown over his shoulders, the slack sleeves hang around his frame and flail in the gust. They take him in, Josh stays in the waiting room with the other worried people with a cup of coffee in his hand, staring blankly at his Twitter feed and watching muted videos when suddenly, the screen goes blank before coming to life with an incoming call.
“You can go home,” Tyler’s voice comes through the phone. “I went through the check up. My arm is fine, they removed the cast and the swelling is easing up,” he explains, only to quiet down before bringing up that one word that flips everything off.
“But,” Tyler continues. “The cast was set too tight, and somehow the bones have shifted out of position. The surgery is tomorrow morning, and well... I’ve never been through anything like this, so I’m kinda nervous now that it’s actually happening.” Tyler chuckles quietly into the phone, but Josh can tell he’s fiddling with something to channel his nerves. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I have a terrible pain tolerance.”
“It’s fine. I’m glad you’re getting good treatment this fast even,” Josh says. “Sometimes people have to wait for unbearably long times.”
“Yeah, I, um…” Tyler starts with, quieting down for a moment again, and Josh can hear a female voice saying something in the background before Tyler comes back. “I have to go. They want to check one more thing. Good night Josh. Sorry for all the trouble.”
“No. Come on Ty, I just want you to be okay. Good luck,” Josh says and starts to get up.
“Yeah. Love you. Bye.” It’s the last thing Tyler says, hurriedly cutting the call before Josh has time to say anything, so quickly that Josh wonders if he heard it right. He knows he did though, and the sudden declaration hassles his train of thought for a moment, but it’s all for the right reasons.
*
Of course, Tyler keeps texting him through the night before the surgery, and Josh stays up with him, trying to ease his anxiety. Tyler’s nervousness has earned him a frontline seat to general anesthesia instead of regional one because he’s starting to freak out, even though the doctor emphasized that the operation was a minor one.
“I’ll show him a minor operation,” Tyler blusters in his messages, and Josh looks at the texts with an amused smile during breakfast.
When the texts stop coming, Josh can only assume that Tyler’s surgery is on. It takes a long time before he hears anything from him. Well, it’s not that long really, but being apart from each other felt unbearably difficult again.
Tyler’s croaks, “Anaesthesia,” into the receiver. It’s the first word Josh hears from him when Tyler finally calls him, making Josh pick his phone quickly. “And I felt sorta groggy afterwards. But I’m, I’ve recovered well enough now they said.”
Josh grins, his smile getting caught in his voice as he can imagine Tyler flipping him off as he says that he sounds like a monster. “Did you yell at the surgeon or what? It’s like you were bidding me farewell over there for real.”
“Shut up. Don’t even remember the man,” Tyler tells him. “My phone is at one percent. Are you going to pick me up or not?”
“Bossy.”
“That was a question Josh. I’m not telling you to wiggle your ass over here.”
“But you'd like that wouldn’t you.”
“I-“
“Yes Tyler, I’m coming,” Josh says before Tyler has time to answer. “I don’t want to waste your battery. I’ll pick you up at the front, yeah? See you there.”
The call cuts there. Wondering whether it was an accident or Tyler’s phone really shut down, Josh shrugs, putting his phone back to his pocket. However Tyler has the habit of ending calls without saying goodbye, and his weird habits simply keep coming back to him, and he loves that.
*
Tyler is healing just fine. He’s resting and doing his rehabilitation exercises. The time goes fast as they hang together. The new cast is lightweight and hasn’t caused any problems, but it’s really hampering some certain activities.
“I can see you’re not a leftie,” Josh says heatedly, his head diving through his clothes, pure excitement vibrating through his body.
“No kidding,” Tyler tells him, trying to yank Josh’s hoodie off along with his t-shirt with his other arm. “Take these off.”
Josh does, getting bombed by Tyler’s mouth and his kisses before his clothes even make it to the floor. Instead of Josh pushing Tyler to his bed, Tyler drags him there. They move messily together until Tyler’s legs touch the bed and they get down on it, Tyler going first.
He does it with a smile and laughter, the sound is an easy guarantee to disarm him. Tyler shuffles backwards on one hand, pulling Josh on top of him. Josh continues where Tyler stopped, sundering kisses and tiny bites wherever he could.
Going back to his lips, Josh could only bear so long with Tyler’s face so close to his.
Tyler leans his back against the pillows, letting him watch as he starts fumbling with the buttons of his own shirt. Tyler’s hands tremble in shared excitement, and his fingers slip as he tries to get the buttons open as quickly as possible, but ends up slowing them down.
Josh takes over, and gets three buttons open with ease. Tyler groans and slumps down in protest, pouting.
Josh laughs at that, following with his hands to get the job done. “No rush,” he says, solving the puzzle and baring Tyler’s skin.
“I hate button-ups,” Tyler complains, but clearly enjoys seeing Josh strip his own shirt.
“It’s open now,” Josh says and kisses Tyler’s tummy and the slight pudge of it to emphasize his words. “Get up.”
Tyler does, and they pull the shirt off together.
“I appreciated your help while helping me put it on this morning but this is much nicer,” Tyler babbles between kisses, roaming Josh’s bare back with this fingers. He pulls him steady between his legs, already grinding against Josh.
“You’re just- oh… you’re just using your arm as an excuse to make me do everything for you,” Josh tries, moving his hands to Tyler’s belt, already tired of the remaining clotes between them.
“I just want to keep you close,” Tyler quips out of breath, and somehow, eyes clear and so full of love, Josh has to stop for a second— they’re really about to have sex again, somehow the realization hits him with full force only then. There was no pressure, not a single hint of nervousness between them. They know each other’s likings perfectly, both ready to expand the knowledge of the other as the years have shaped them on many levels. And tonight, they’re about to draw new lines on each other’s memories, like a map drawn on a paper, or a spot on the wall.
Both of their journeys brought them eventually back to Ohio, it must be some sort of heavenly guidance, when really, they’re just two losers finding no escape from the god-forsaken place. There was nothing poetic about it because really, they’re just horny for each other. Josh gives up his attempts to make it any better than what it already was.
He just really, really wants Tyler right now. He’ll not let him out of his sight after this.
His already opened bottle of lube is in a sadly familiar spot within his reach, finding its way to him easily. No preludes needed to put his finger in Tyler’s ass and stretch him open, Tyler blesses him with pretty sounds, starting as soon as Josh starts moving. It gets only better as more fingers are added, and soon, Tyler is singing for him.
Tyler spreads his legs to get the most out of it, pushing back against him. His Adam’s apple is ridiculously prominent, and Tyler gasps and sighs in his hands, Josh wonders if it could burst right through.
His erection is just as prominent. Josh kisses it in awe at the same time Tyler gives him a breathy grunt. He wants things to move on beyond that, wants to feel him inside him.
“It’s all I want,” Tyler says and sighs in relief when Josh pulls his fingers back and rolls a condom on the next moment. Tyler stares at him, stares at his erect cock as if having missed an old friend, touching himself. To Josh it’s nearly endearing, but hey, he understands.
Tyler’s eyes follow him even when Josh pushes himself inside him. His head drops only after he’s nearly fully inside him, the apple of his throat bobbing once again. His eyes closed, Josh smiles at the sight, nearly stupidly fond of the moment until he realizes he should probably move, too. And he does, Josh starts thrusting into him, getting up on his arms and holding on Tyler’s as he fucks his way into him, welcomed by the familiar heat of Tyler wrapped around his length.
Tyler’s cock rubs against their bodies with no other attention aimed at it. It’s a sad sight indeed, seeing the precome dripping from the tip. Josh cages it with his fingers, letting Tyler read his intentions before wrapping his fingers fully around him. There’s barely any lube left on his fingers that he used to stretch Tyler open. Josh doesn’t move his fist, only holding it there, letting Tyler thrust into it at the pace he wants.
Considering the desperation of his movements, he was getting close already.
Josh adds to the friction by shortening his thrusts and quickening his pace. He doesn’t have to go far to reach Tyler’s prostate, he doesn’t have to look for it. He knows where to be, and stays there.
It ends with Josh’s head positioned between Tyler’s legs. He leans it against Tyler’s warm thigh as Tyler murmurs soft praises, his hands roaming Josh’s hair.
Eventually Josh gets up and leans on his elbows as he shifts higher, crawling up on Tyler’s body. He stops in his tracks as he finds Tyler’s still hardened nipples, ducking his head down and getting Tyler off-guard as he takes the left one in his mouth without warning, and licks at it. His tongue is flat and demanding, making Tyler moan despite being completely sated already. Josh learns, however, that it’s more from annoyance than pleasure as Tyler grabs the back of his head and tries to yank him away from his chest.
“No, no, no,” Tyler whispers as he does so but arches his back anyway as Josh flicks his tongue again. “Up here ,” Tyler hisses and Josh finally complies. He finds himself hovering over Tyler’s face, and the pouty sight makes him squint his eyes and smile rather dumbly at Tyler beneath him.
Tyler rolls his eyes and blows at Josh’s longer hair that keeps tickling his forehead.
“Kiss me.”
And who is Josh not to kiss him?
Their lips meet in a firm embrace, the pace already steady and familiar as they dive deeper into each other’s mouths. It gets stopped soon as Tyler gasps and turns his head to the side.
“Josh,” Tyler warns him as Josh sneaks his hand down his body and curls it around Tyler’s flaccid cock, still wet and slippery from spit and cum. Softly, Josh tugs at it carefully, however only once as Tyler starts wiggling away.
“No more,” Tyler says and clasps his good hand on top of Josh’s, squirming. Josh hums and sucks on Tyler’s neck, marking him persistently.
“Jesus,” Tyler sighs and Josh laughs, their hands still wrapped around each other as Josh finally pulls away.
“Sorry,” Josh says happily and pecks a kiss on Tyler’s lips and releases him, but doesn’t let himself sound sorry at all. He had to pay back and get his revenge after the hickey that Tyler gave him earlier— and left at that without finishing. “I wanted to see that happening.”
“You’re never running out of energy,” Tyler remarks and wipes his forehead dry from the cooling sweat. “Save it for some other day when I’m up for a second round,” he says and smiles, looking tired all the same.
They’ll have many rounds in the future. Josh says as much. He fishes a discarded t-shirt from the floor and starts wiping off the mess on his skin. He’s done quickly and folds the makeshift rag to do the same for Tyler who scoots closer and lies on his side now.
“Missed one spot,” Tyler notes and points back at his groin, lifting his leg rather seductively. Josh makes a face and goes back to him, tapping his body parts clean while Tyler stares at him intently.
“You have such a finesse to your ministrations, mister,” Tyler appraises.
“And you have a surprisingly dirty mouth for someone who tries to come off as a smarty by using so many fine words all the time,” Josh states and hops off the bed to get some clothes. He needs to do some laundry soon.
Tyler lies down on his back, not bothering to cover his naked body as he follows Josh with his eyes.
“That’s just cockamamie. I need to keep my vocabulary multifaceted at all times,” he answers simply.
“Whatever,” Josh says and puts on a fresh t-shirt.
Tyler pulls his fingers through his hair and laughs. “Who the fuck pulls on a shirt before their pants?”
“Don’t like it?” Josh asks and spreads his arms and steps in front of the bed, unashamed and naked from the waist down.
Tyler smirks at the sight, running his eyes alongside his body. He twirls his hair around his finger without answering. “Fetch my clothes for me now that you’re at, will you? I’m getting cold here.”
Josh does, picking up Tyler’s shirt next and tossing it at Tyler with a sloppy effort.
“Give me my pants first!”