Work Text:
Todd couldn’t believe how easily he folded when it came to his brother. He had all the reasons to hate Jeffrey, him being the golden boy of their family, the pride of their parents, the Valedictorian and future lawyer, the perfect son every parent would dream of. Todd, however, he was a complete opposite of Jeffrey. He wasn’t social and easy-going, his anxiety would rather make him stay at home, curled up under his comforter, away from the whole world. He didn’t excel at school, maybe beside English, but his parents didn’t deem it as worthy as other subjects (“You can go far knowing physics, law, or chemistry, not by writing poems” as his father would say). He had a passion for literature and painting, something he engaged in quite often, but again, in the eyes of his parents, this hobby wasn’t important enough, and, well, masculine enough. His father would scoff and roll his eyes every time Todd brought home new brushes or canvas, even if he did buy it with his own money earned by working in the coffee shop near his school. Todd knew he was the black sheep of the family, and learned to live with it, even if it still hurt every time his parents made a comment toward basically anything or compared him to Jeffrey.
He could always count on his older brother, though. Jeffrey had never seen him the way their parents or even Todd himself saw him. Jeffrey thought Todd was the most interesting person he’d ever met. He always listened to Todd rambling about his hobbies, he was always interested in his school, his plans for the future, his dreams, even his non-existing social life. Even after Jeffrey moved out to live on his own (and escape their parents), they had a tradition to meet every two Friday nights and watch some new movie or play video games while updating each other on their lives. They also called each other almost every day and texted the most irrelevant things just to stay in touch. In other words, Jeffrey was probably the only person in Todd’s life that had actually shown any interest in him and who made him feel loved. That’s why it was so hard for Todd to say ‘no’ to Jeffrey, even if it bit him in the butt later.
This is why he found himself sitting in the park on the Friday afternoon, painting the landscape with the new paints he got from Jeffrey. Well, it was a completely normal thing, but for Todd it meant stepping out of his comfort zone, and stepping out far. He wasn’t used to going out, sometimes he would walk around the park or the neighborhood, or go to the library, but he never went out to paint, not where anyone could see him. His paintings were very personal to him, even if they didn’t portray anything personal in particular. But just the idea of being so open with something so important to him made him feel all anxious and want to run and hide. But Jeffrey encouraged him to do it for so long, after noticing how bad Todd’s anxiety had gotten recently and thought that clearing his head and doing something nice for himself would make Todd feel better. Well, they definitely had very different definitions of what doing something nice for yourself meant, but Todd couldn’t say ‘no’ to his brother, especially after he was so concerned about Todd’s mental well-being. So, maybe Todd could enjoy it after all. Sitting in the park, in this beautiful weather, on a warm blanket, surrounded by colorful flowers and the sound of leaves rustling…
Suddenly something, a blur in Todd’s eyes, appeared out of nowhere, knocking down one of the paints and spilling it onto the blanket and the grass nearby. Todd jumped from where he was sitting on his blanket, and blinked furiously trying to find what had caused the commotion and to try to slow his heartbeat. He looked around and saw a ball laying next to the blanket, on the grass. It wasn’t even half a minute, when Todd heard a loud voice in front of his face.
“Hey, is everything okay? I’m so sorry for this, Charlie can’t kick for the death of him, I’m sure he… wow, it’s a really beautiful painting.”
Todd looked up only to see a pair of big, brown eyes, sparkling with sudden interest at Todd’s painting. The thing that had these electrifying eyes was actually a boy, around Todd’s age, it seemed. He was wearing a red flannel shirt, skinny jeans that would look horrible on another person but looked good on him, and a pair of black converse, contrast to Todd’s beaten up white ones. His brown hair was ruffled by the wind and got in his eyes a bit, his cheeks were deep red and his forehead was glistening with sweat. Everything about the boy screamed that he was the exact type of person Todd detested: loud, extraverted, liked by everyone and knowingthat he’s liked by everyone, and worst of all, not respecting other people’s boundaries and privacy. The way he just shrugged off the fact that he and whoever he was with destroyed his things, and changed the topic, not even realizing Todd’s discomfort. Todd should’ve hated him, he really wished to. But it was something about him, something about his eyes and his aura that made him seem so genuine. As if behind all these annoying traits, there was a kind, pure soul Todd could feel safe around. Todd couldn’t explain this – he wished to understand that himself, but there was no explanation. He had no other choice than to go with the flow and trust this boy enough to say something back to him.
“Yeah… I mean, thank you. I’d just gotten started on it…”
“And we ruined it,” the stranger said, pointing at the paint still spilling from the blanket onto the grass, painting it blue, “I’m really sorry, we’ll pay for the paint, and for the blanket…”
“Don’t worry about it,” Todd said, knowing he will have to work at least two weeks to pay it off, but didn’t want to cause a scene. He wasn’t exactly cut out to argue with intimidating teenage boys.
“So, maybe we can invite you to play with us?” the boy asked, pointing at the group a couple of meters behind him. There were five other boys, and Todd could feel his anxiety starting to build up. It was enough for him that he had to talk to one boy, a very intimidating boy, but five? And the worst thing was that they were all staring at him, like a prey hunting for its victim, at least in Todd’s eyes. He could feel a lump forming in his throat, so he only gently shook his head.
“Oh, come on, I already feel bad for destroying your things, even if it technically wasn’t me, so let me at least make you feel a little bit better.”
“I’m Neil, by the way,” the boy said shortly after, as if it was just a small detail he forgot to mention, and extended his hand to Todd.
“Todd,” he answered, nervously shaking hands with the boy, Neil, internally cursing himself for how sweaty his palm turned.
“Nice to meet you, Todd. Are you sure you don’t want to play with us? You don’t like soccer?”
“I like it,” Todd responded genuinely. He played soccer in school as one of his extracurriculars and actually enjoyed it, maybe apart from other players’ constant shouting that made him anxious. It was also the only thing he did his father actually appreciated, even if he always made a comment on how Todd could still play better. Todd wasn’t the best, but he definitely wasn’t the worst, the opposite really. He was one of the best on the team, and his coach would encourage him to apply for a sports scholarship.
“You’ll get farther with soccer than your poems, Anderson,” he would say, “And you’re really good with the ball.”
But Todd didn’t want to play professionally. It was something he enjoyed in school or in his free time, usually playing with Jeffrey in the park or in their backyard, but it wasn’t on top of the list of things he enjoyed doing the most.
“Well, then come play with us? I understand if you’re still angry at us, and I’m serious by saying we’ll pay for all your stuff, but please, let us make your day a little bit better.”
Todd wanted to scream at Neil and say that the thing that would make his day better was leaving him alone, but the boy looked at him with those puppy-dog eyes that reminded him of Jeffrey. And he could never deny whatever Jeffrey was begging of him with this look. So, after a few moments, he reluctantly nodded his head.
Neil’s mouth expanded in a wide, warm grin.
“Great! Come meet the guys, then.”
Neil once again extended his hand to Todd, this time to help Todd up from his sitting position. Todd hesitantly took Neil’s hand in his, now even more clammy, and let Neil pull him up with an extraordinary strength, judging by Neil’s lanky body. The taller boy dragged Todd by the hand to the group of boys, and Todd could only spare a single glance over his shoulder towards his things left on the dirty blanket. There weren’t that many people around, so no one should steal his things, right? Right? He didn’t have time to get anxious about this, though, because Neil suddenly stopped and Todd realized he was standing face to face with five other boys who watched him attentively.
“Guys, this is Todd. He graciously agreed to play with us, even after we destroyed his things, so be nice.”
Todd could feel his face turn red at another reminder of his ruined things, but fought the urge to run and hide. He looked around at all the boys and could see the guilty expressions on their faces.
“Yeah, man, we’re sorry,” said the second brunette boy, a little bit shorter than Neil, but more muscly.
“Yeah, you should be sorry, Charlie, it was you who kicked the ball,” the ginger one with glasses interrupted.
“Hey, don’t have to rub it in my face, Meeksie,” the other boy, Charlie apparently, responded with a hurt expression. Todd instinctively wanted to apologize for making Charlie feel guilty (even if he had every reason to), and tell it was okay (even if it wasn’t), but quickly realized that Charlie is not really that hurt and that all the boys are laughing at each other. Todd was used to this with his brother, but he couldn’t read other people for the death of him. It seemed like the whole group was really close to each other, which made Todd feel out of place (the feeling Todd got accustomed to).
“Either way,” Neil spoke up, as if noticing Todd’s discomfort and wanting to change the topic, “We’re happy to get Todd to play with us.”
“Yeah, totally,” the kid with glasses responded, “My name’s Stephen Meeks.”
He reached out to Todd, and Todd accepted his hand, thinking to himself that he will have enough of shaking hands with people for a good two months.
“Charlie Dalton,” said the shorter brunette, smirking at Todd, and almost winking at him. Todd nodded his head and quickly diverted his gaze somewhere else.
“Knox Overstreet,” a tall blonde boy held out a hand to Todd with a warm smile. After a minute of awkward smiles and sweaty handshakes, he learned the names of all the other boys as well: Cameron was the other ginger, but without glasses, and Pitts was the tallest of them all, a brunette with a weird buzzcut that was taken straight out of 50s hairstyles magazine.
“Okay, so are we ready to play?” Neil asked after Todd exchanged the last handshake, “Let’s split into teams.”
“Okay, but we’re uneven,” Meeks rightfully noticed. Once again, Todd felt that he didn't belong here, he was already causing problems with dividing into teams, but before he could say he’s good and escape, Neil clapped him on the shoulder and spoke up.
“Because Todd is new here, he will play in the team of four. In my team.”
“And who said you will be the captain?” Charlie said, feigning annoyance, but he wasn’t that convincing with his upper lip curving slightly.
“Me,” Neil shrugged his shoulders with a small smirk. Todd wasn’t wrong in his suspicions that Neil was the leader type, but he seemed as a leader that was kind to everyone and whom everyone would choose as their leader.
“You could be the other captain, Charlie,” Neil said, which was followed by a confident nod and a smirk from Charlie.”
“You bet your ass I am.”
“Okay, so as I said, Todd is on my team, and because we have more players, we’ll give you an advantage and take Cameron.”
“Hey!” Cameron shouted, which made all the boys laugh.
“Sorry, Cameron, but it’s a fact that you’re our weakest player.”
“I’m not the weakest player!” Cameron scoffed, trying to reason with the guys, who bit their lips, trying to stop themselves from laughing further.
“Cameron, you never get the goal and you always trip over the ball.”
“I’m not!”
“You tripped three times today.”
Cameron wanted to respond with something, but he immediately shut his mouth, knowing that he couldn't defend himself.
“Fine, but we’re getting Pitts.”
“Fine with me,” said Charlie, “So, Knox and Meeksie are on my team, and Pitts, Cameron and Todd on your team.
“Great,” Neil said excitedly, “We’ll be on the right. Let’s assume positions.”
Charlie nodded and moved to the left side of the pitch with Knox and Meeks. Neil, Cameron and Pitts turned towards the right side, Todd following hesitantly behind them.
“Okay, Todd, what position do you usually play?”
Todd looked up from where his head was hung low, not expecting anyone to ask him first. He could feel his anxiety rise seeing all the faces turned towards him.
“Um… I usually play attack.” Todd answered shyly.
“Really?” Meeks questioned him, earning a slap in the chest and a stern glare from Neil. “I mean, that’s cool. But you’re playing against Charlie, and as much as I hate boosting his ego, he’s actually good as a goalie. He won’t let the ball go past him that easily.”
“Todd will do just fine,” Neil patted Todd on the back, which did little to reassure the smaller boy, but there was no point of return right now. He’d play with them, embarrass himself, go home, and never ever meet them again. That sounded like a great plan.
But, as it turned out, Todd did not actually embarrass himself. When all the boys got into their positions and the game started, Todd became another person. After just a few minutes of the game, Todd stopped thinking that he was playing with boys who were total strangers to him, that he was doing something so out of his comfort zone, and focused completely on the game. That’s why he became so good at soccer in school; it was one of very few moments when his anxiety didn’t kick in and let him actually enjoy himself. He shut down the world around himself and just got sucked into the moment. He ran after the ball with speed and grace none of the poets, even Neil, expected from him. He kicked ball after a ball into Charlie’s net, earning cheers and pats on the back from his teammates.
They played for almost two hours until they were all red and short of breath, and Charlie’s team had to declare Neil’s team the winners for beating them 15:12.
“That was amazing, Todd!” Neil ran up to him and rubbed his shoulders in excitement. Rest of the boys followed, joining in Neil’s cheering for Todd. “We’ve never scored that many goals against Charlie. You’re a damn wicked player.”
Charlie couldn’t disagree with that, only nodded his head in approval.
“Th-thanks,” Todd stuttered, looking at his beaten up converse and rubbing his neck awkwardly.
“You need to play with us more often. Do you live somewhere nearby?”
Todd’s head snapped up to Neil, whose face wore a genuine smile. Was it one of those situations his mother warned him about? This ‘never give strangers your address’ kind of thing? But Neil seemed so non-threatening, it was impossible not to trust him.
“I live quite close, in the suburbs. Um, near the Old Town Market?”
“Seriously?” Neil asked, his voice filled with excitement, “I live near the Old Town Market, too. On Richmond Street?”
Todd nodded his head in confusion. He lived that close to Neil and never met him?
“Wow, I can’t believe this. We’re neighbors and we didn’t even know it. What school do you go to?
“Balincrest. But I’m transferring to Welton next year. My brother used to go there?”
“Are you kidding?” Charlie chimed in, “We all go to Welton.”
“Who’s your brother?” Meeks interrupted, visibly curious.
“Jeffrey Anderson.”
Hearing this, all the boys froze and their eyes widened.
“Jeff-Jeffrey Anderson?” Cameron stuttered, “As in valedictorian, national merit scholar, Jeffrey Anderson. The Jeffrey Anderson?”
Todd felt a tight knot appear in his stomach. Right, this is the moment they’ll realize how uninteresting I am compared to Jeffrey.
“Yeah,” Todd answered, shifting from one leg to another uncomfortably.
“Must’ve been hard being under so much pressure,” Neil said, much to Todd’s surprise, “He’s like a god in our school, they must have compared you guys a lot.”
Todd nodded shyly, unable to look Neil in the eyes.
“Well, neither of us ever believed in this valedictorian bullshit,” Charlie said, smirking at Todd, “each one of them was boring as hell.”
All the other boys, maybe beside Cameron, started nodding in agreement, from time to time throwing in some snarky comment about Welton’s obsession with valedictorians and excelling in everything. That cheered up Todd a little. All his life everyone around him put so much importance in those things, pressuring Todd to live up to his brother’s glory. It was refreshing finally meeting people who did not care about these values and who didn’t try to compare him to Jeffrey.
“Well, it’s getting late, so I understand if you need to go home,” Neil started, interrupting the heated argument between Charlie and Cameron about this year’s nomination for the school’s head boy (it was mainly Cameron arguing how the nominee did not deserve the honor, and Charlie calling the whole ordeal stupid), “but we’re going to the diner and later maybe play some games at the arcade. Do you want to come with us?”a
Todd pondered on this thought for a second, anxiety kicking in again. He did not expect his day to go like this, and was still not exactly sure if he should trust the guys he just met. But he felt weirdly comfortable around them, and he kept thinking of how proud Jeffrey would be if he heard that Todd finally made some new friends. The thing that ultimately convinced him was the same genuine, hopeful smile Neil gave him while asking Todd to join their game of soccer; the same warm smile he gave Todd all day. Todd nodded, and Neil’s mouth fell open in a wide, excited smile, followed by other boys’ eyes changing from hopeful to happy.
“Well then, let’s keep going,” Neil shouted with a newfound energy, “Oh, we have to clean up your things first. Let me help.”
Ultimately, they all helped Todd clean his blanket, paints (along with the ruined ones), and his (also ruined) painting. Neil and Charlie apologized again, but Todd brushed it off. As he was walking with the boys towards the diner, engaging in the conversations he was actually a part of, not just a third wheel listening, it didn’t matter anymore. And as they sat down in a small booth, squeezing and laughing their asses off while eating chicken wings and fries, he didn’t even remember the painting. For the first time in years, he felt wanted. He felt like he belonged.
He had to agree with Jeffrey. Stepping out of the comfort zone was actually not so bad.
It was about to change his life, even if he didn’t know it yet.